Best of the Worst: Carnivore, HauntedWeen, and Black Roses

[Music] oh oh hi Jay oh hi Mike happy Halloween well happy Halloween to you too oh my god you're actually wearing a spooky t-shirt just like the rest of us that's right J I went through my closet and this is the scariest shirt that I own well except for this well let's get started so today we picked out three films from our horror movie collection and we're gonna watch each one of the films talk about them later and the boy boy is suffice happening what just happen I what do you guys everything okay over there don't call me again sort of [ __ ] what's happening did he start drinking again is his he possessed by a demon speaking of demons it's Halloween let's talk about the films why are you laughing let's watch it Oh Mike what's the first movie our first film is a film that I personally picked it's called carnivore now I picked this film for three particular reasons okay and those would be the three stills used on the back of the box one is a silhouetted man with the smoke machine behind him one appears to be the President of the United States and the third is possibly the monster something the titular carnivore they seem to have used mostly stills where you can't see what's happening yes and to me that's a good sign from afar oh this was the other reason okay where we know it's a complete hack job from afar the old Romero House no tip to low-budget horror filmmakers don't do that never ever do that they're paying homage to 17th century Mexican artist Jose Romero oh is that what it is yeah Oh what did you guys think it was right next to the Savini house yep Bryant the 17th century French impressionist painter right so many references that we mistakenly interpret as horror nods anyways the from afar the old Romero house looks like a decrepit old mansion reputedly haunted but what the locals don't know is that behind the facade of this ancient building the US government has built a state-of-the-art high-tech field lab which houses one of the world's most gruesome experiments a backlit rubber monster Abeka a rubber monster terrifying machine and suddenly the creature is free to roam the house oh no it's gonna all take place in a house the Romero house is the Romero house at this I guess Night of the Living Dead takes place in a house it does and that's it that's a classic film the movie room takes place in a room well not all of it the TV show dr. house takes place in a house yes Beetlejuice takes place in a house lots of movies lots of movies have houses in them I think you're missing the point [Music] I can't wait to watch carnivore that makes one of us rich is implying that there's paranormal activity happening with this camera Oh in enough for a subtle effort to mock me and my belief in ghosts what it's like the cameras are operating on their own this is so spooky check the audio for EVPs I checked this audio for EVPs let's listen well you can't hear an EVP it's beyond the range of human hearing it only appears I was saying an editing we cut oh okay yeah did it say don't watch carnivore it was just a warning from beyond the morning from George Romero he didn't want to attached to the film the ghost of George Romero is trying to warn us let's go this area has been superseded by the United States government and is now under quarantine I am instructed in this area did you build a government lab with a haunted house being visited by the drunken [Laughter] oh it's my face Micah next film is haunted ween what haunted we haunted ween and this is an unusual DVD it's signed by the writer director W Doug Robertson I have no idea if he sent this to us or if it was somebody that got it signed at like a convention and then they were like well this is embarrassing I don't want this in my collection I'll give it to the Milwaukee guys yeah because this is the 20th anniversary edition so this is a movie that was made 20 years ago well depending on when this DVD was made there's no date on it so who knows by the way that's just a [ __ ] terrible title haunted ween yeah there's one I saw Netflix called like how low weed it's like a STONER Halloween movie I'm sure that one's great oh yeah you know they're the hat that has its audience haunted ween when fantasy becomes a deadly reality oh my god that's my life going with the theme of bad stills we have it looks like some VHS stills on the back here ignite it looks like a duck not yeah what the [ __ ] you know what isn't spooky is people lounging on the beach I don't think of that when I think of Halloween 20 years ago a deadly accident forced Eddie Berber from his home when Eddie was younger he never got his chance to be part of the family business the Berber haunted house ooh at haunted houses now that he's home he wants to play a little Berber a haunted house a ring to it yeah like like Berber factory bolts well I think I'm like Gerber and they give that baby food I think I think of more like like Berber and washer and nut company BRR BRR BRR BRR BRR PVC pipes and plastic caps okay this doesn't exist this is just the sound it just Berber sounds like oh I think I'm thinking of Gerber there's a company called Gerber it's not said that their need baby food no no no it's a different company they repair your car okay auto collision repair Gerber so Berber it's not a good name for a horror haunted house I didn't know there were so many girls after Spooky's haunted house you know names and Berber Oh God Berber is doughnuts Berbers Berbers just keep saying Berber Berber can go in front of any particular business other than a haunted house mr. spooky Mr scary dr. Acula haunted house now ladies home he wants to play he tells a college fraternity they can use the house as a fundraiser we got another house movie while the signifies prepare their rooms for fun and thrills Eddie prepares his special room for blood and kills okay the director wrote this and they hate it as cries echo from the house you wonder are they screaming for their life or cheering for their death why would you cheer quiet as as cries echo from the howl oh you wonder at not they wonder I [Music] still don't understand me doesn't matter one thing for sure one thing for sure nobody knows it's really happening people are dying and people are laughing some of these sentences rhyme and some don't filmed in Kentucky Tennessee oh wait Kentucky is a state and so is Tennessee that there could be a Kentucky in Tennessee hallway no filmed in Kentucky Tennessee and at Western Kentucky University all that's staying in J failed geography and grade school I just read the thing seventeen dollars and 13 cents you are currently passed do in the amount of $3,700 if we do not receive your dues in full will be forced to revoke your membership as a national fraternity oh my god it's so wacky what hey Thank You gremlin our next film is black roses wow Mike I can't believe our studio is infested with spooky gremlins it's weird cuz it's Halloween what a coincidence our last film of the night is black roses complete with classic green horror sticker you know that's exciting that's a fun cover yeah there's a three-dimensional cover pop out there desperate to sell copies of this turn up the volume turn down the lights don't watch it alone and we won't because there are four of us yeah there's a guy singing on the back who kind of looks like Slade Craven what was that what was the rock guy from trick-or-treat Sammy Kerr got a photographic memory only when it comes to shitty heavy metal horror films right because you don't remember what our states are everything you remember Sammy Kerr the important thing yeah the important things in life but yeah this monster looks pretty cool yeah monster when the sleepy town of Mill Basin no basins okay no it's no Berber is invaded by a sleazy band of hard rockers the self-righteous townspeople try to stop their concert series I guess there's a Mill Basin is such a big city and there's such a big band they have to have a series of shows so many things wrong that sentence when the band finally overcomes parental objections a town full of normal Midwestern kids begins to turn bad who these kids turn into monsters right before your very eyes last sentence the special effects are fantastic not really part of a description that's no it's like they got bored with the plot its effects are good it's just an opinion in the description that's what you want on your description for a film it's not quoted by anyone it's just an assist it's just whoever that like whatever intern they hired to write the back of the box that was just his opinion and now it's it's a fact about the film special effects are fantastic it's all chemistry oh my god it is so you have to show that maybe they throw black roses around and those infected with smell that there's some sort of pollen in it the turned into a monster like like alien covenant right yes yeah which by the way in that movie the special effects are fantastic that's in the the official decision that's what Ridley Scott just kept saying in interviews and they they thought he was just a senile old man but he was actually referencing black roses it's a film about space explorers who land on that planet encounter a mysterious alien the special effects are fantastic mr. Scott you don't have to yell right here they needed to set this up with tennis lessons earlier no I didn't gotta take these tennis lessons no tennis yeah I'm late in the movie who is that the random person at the concert what was that uh somebody got killed she got home alone - did [Music] [Music] I do best why did the Halloween episode to become the very drinking there was one year where Jack got got really drunk does that what started the tradition take a still image into Halloween only spooky [Music] hey guys thanks for coming to my farm as you know I grew up on a farm you grew up on this farm and I'm really I don't mean to sad as we talked about many best of the worst ago I grew up on a farm and I'm really happy that you guys could come finally join me on the old Packard family farm now which isn't haunted at all right there are definitely no ghosts no ghouls no Skellington okay that's good creepiest scarecrow so the first movie we watched was for the first movie we'll watch is carnivore I'm terrible at thanks forgot already satisfy your hunger for horror I picked this film so I will this is Mike's responsibility Jack you're doing a hell of a job hosting a meal I feel like I've done a great job you're welcome I picked carnivore based on three stills on the back of which all of which legitimately appeared in the film one was a silhouette of a man with smoke machine behind him the middle picture I thought was the president because it says there's this the official seal and the flag and it says of the United States turnout Cameron Mitchell not Cameron Mitchell should have been played by Cameron Mitchell turns out it was the head of the CIA a government agency in charge of monsters yes some some sort of agency that bought possibly rented an abandoned house I read it as they created a house that looked abandoned from scratch oh that's a strike if they were renting I'd like to see that lease agreement yeah that's that's some $60 a month to rent this abandoned house with no plumbing or heat or electricity by an old house because it's not going to have a lab underneath it in this room so you have to build an abandoned house from scratch it's like it's like that mansion in Jurassic world fallen Kingdom where it's like a mansion but underneath there's an entire like dinosaur DNA research facility that stretch Cunningham had no idea well possibly they built an underground research lab and then brought in like a movie studio the haunted house set and locked it up movie studio has been very generous to detract they went to the local Jaycees haunted house and they took their sets and they wanted to detract from teenagers trying to sneak into their haunted house on Halloween to have sex when they could have just built their underground laboratory anywhere in in the middle of nowhere in the desert middle and OA area 51 super monster experiments in area 51 put it where it is now put it in the small town but then just build like a big concrete brick with a door on time this is something that's not enticing for people to go into and have sex in they don't want the teenagers to come into the haunted house yet they have a haunted house that drunken teenagers would want to come into here anything rich they they say they don't want teenagers to come into their house yet they have just dirty beds lying everywhere and like stacks of condoms next to the bed Pasiphae four teenagers had sex on and something is playing like like sexy Kenny G music [Music] that it made it look like they're watching that's pornography mouthing nipply there yeah there's a little sex scene you're skipping ahead 45 minutes into the movie we got so about the first 45 minutes where nothing happens oh okay well we just did oh oh yeah the one guy in the inn I think what was the best scene in the film once they finally see the carnival oh god yes from zero to 60 40 minutes you see he starts tearing the guy apart and throwing his guts everywhere but then after that our our other three surviving teenage leads vanish from the film they're just gone the cop the cops get to the house and our teenage characters are like there's a monster in the house there's a monster house you go [Music] [Music] the real story here is the monster gets out scientist lady comes to save the monster and her meatheads shoot it that's the whole story now and for an hour of the movie is them just driving to the house white while teenagers play around in it yes the teenage we didn't realize that that people driving to the house were the main characters we thought the teenagers in the house where the main character here's the thing the the film is not focused on main characters the film is focused on a subversion of expectations this is an early Rian Johnson where you think that the monster is a bad guy that's good that's just a vicious clawing mind we thought that because he viciously tore the guts out of a kid run took that person's guts and threw it at Kelly bunny because he was bad because of these things you know that does evil things set up yeah shut that up although it's explained in the film that the monster is triggered by pheromones well we discover that after the fact hey yeah the setup happens after the pigeon pay off and set up yeah it's a virtue expectations this is an early Rian Johnson film Walker but the monster communicates with with CIA FBI whatever lady government lady will call her government lady [Music] you think the movies about a psychopathic like bloodthirsty carnivore monster thrown in a lab that's just gonna kill indiscriminately but really the monster is the victim it's about an evil government agency that wanted the monster killed instead of studied because okay we never find out why the government agency lady was an entirely different person for half of the car ride hey lady can you believe she fell asleep yeah she seems like the type I heard why is she sleeping why for some reason government lady she's taking a nap in the limousine in a very strange fashion yeah that covers up her and tires you probably don't see her face Barry were like this is weird what if they couldn't get the actress that day that's what it is probably actors can show up that day okay one shot I guess that's a clever workaround you got to work within your limitations but then it happens like three more times yeah she's in the background like on the phone on a conference call don't check the containment I'm calling it kind of so so the director in a wig that's brilliant so did she leave production early because she realized what a [ __ ] movie she was in did they not have the budget to get her for those days I I think it's they they had the movie scheduled out um she was sort of a big deal Arkansas she was a crest commercial she was five years before she was in the commercial so this was like their big get and they're like oh we only have her for a couple days well shoot everything we can't and anything we don't need her for I'll just wear a wig the director said that they could have cut that hole so you know yeah and that's the thing is that scene didn't have anything to do with anything you know what you could have cut every scene out and it would have been a good movie look literally you could cut out the entire teenager teenagers being in the house yeah and the movie still makes which is the first half of the movie which we thought that was what the movie was about until it wasn't any you can make this movie two minutes long the monster rips the teenager and the monster rips apart the cops face the film does everything wrong yeah even the monster and the sets all the applicants but we got we there's not much more to the movie otherwise we would be listing off more things I think we shouldn't focus on some of the good well really like the to good which is the one wall that [ __ ] the radio was sweet we see the same wall over and over and over the famous wall the famous wall where it's like they had like exposed brick but it's just like a decal although they just put on and multiple times throughout the film they're going from one white room with expose fake exposed bricks to another white with a brick that wall the wall with the light beams was amazing but wasn't utilized I was thinking the other wall the original wall was utilized more than the wall with the light beams I think they came up with the wall with the light beams later Oh somebody fell in like oh I fell in poked holes in the wall look at that there's Jay are you on Team brick wall cuz I'm on team light wall Oh light wall must be used sparingly or else it will get old yeah that's true but it's so good as you stare inhaling those are your money shots - money shots you need those shot but you movie to be money shots - your shot is a specific one-time use only team brick wall they reuse their wall that's what I'm saying it's old news because it's you know what it's reliable it's it's sturdy it's dependable this movie sucks so much we're talking about a wall that's character wait wait we're team light wall no Jay's clearly seen brick wall rich I I think the brick wall is more interesting because it's so stupid you can't hold movie be the interesting wall do you remember the connoisseur you need you need boring walls in between the interesting wall shots to make the interesting wall does that much more special wait do you remember know when our four main characters went up to the attic now the house yes I do it was this wonderful like visually interesting land there there were lots of things up there attic was filled with weird interesting things it was filled with cobweb no and one candelabra was it how back with the truck and Rob the attic it was filled with so many interesting things the subplot the subplot where they were gonna steal things that just fell out of the movie but we had happened in the Attic he wanted to come back with the truck steal the candelabra steal multiple things of the Attic because it was so interesting stabbed in the head with the nails of the board and then the wounds toast a [ __ ] that was they went up to the attic and then they came down from the attic and then they were gone what but I'm saying why didn't they go back to the Abbey because they disappeared from the movie entirely this is classic team brick wall Gaslight you just maybe steamrolling over the important facts to support your narrative maybe they found something in the Attic that made them ascend from the movie into a higher plane of existence oh okay they are [ __ ] team brick walls [ __ ] team Broncos [ __ ] I want to I want to address your point that the walls exposed fake bricks was a fake sticker on the lawn I don't think it was oh oh I think I think do you think the science lab that's in the movie was a real science movies a fake you shut up this was based on a true story I read all about it Museum it's time what the [ __ ] is he doing he's J is pouring shots of maker's mark yeah I'm pouring shots thinking about having that at this Jayla all I'm doing is making it worse for myself go Jack no we didn't conclude our discussion of carnivals we just stopped cardboard much I didn't choose your giggle you have hey here's my glass where you have a piece of hain don't know how this works nobody to your things oh Jesus Christ this was a bad idea a very bad idea you remember when you murdered cats good night sweet cats who brought the [ __ ] shot glasses gonna be funny it turns out that's a terrible idea you have a murdered cats you grew up on the farm you get a lot of cats sometimes the cat's gotta go down why are you doing this to me good night sweet pea all you're doing is making this party when Jay dies and he reaches the pearly gates there's thousands and thousands of cats cats don't have souls nothing they do and they have worms coming out of their ears that's Jay I've never killed a cat Josh you saw like the movies from here on out right switch places here that's the word like it doesn't make sense for we're done okay keep going no keep talking your sons [Music] this episode brought to you by alcohol why is rich freaking out it's not I'm gonna take a walk which is rightfully given up this is gone this is gone this is gone Oh jack oh I'll see in a few days where we redo this okay continue all right we need it we need an actual transit no it has to just cut to someone else be near his place she's gonna lay down [Music] oh and we're back we decided to take you know a break for a few days no reason no particular reason you know it's possible that one of us got a little out of control but now we're back and we're gonna continue talking about these movies as if nothing had happened so the next movie we watched was haunted ween rich can you please talk about haunted ween yes well in the in the grand tradition of Halloween horror movies haunted ween is a college drunken boner comedy until it isn't it isn't anymore well it starts off as a horror movie where there's a haunted house as a kid it takes he does the tickets out front but he wants me if one of the people who does the stairs inside well we technically we start off this is like 20 years in the past yes but there's a flash-forward within that flashback [Music] where he's just like some kid is chasing a girl in a room and we don't know what's happening and then the title comes in comic sans Comic Sans like before Comic Sans is even a thing isn't it I think this movie invented Comic Sans in the grand tradition of Halloween movies invented the Comic Sans [ __ ] the kid his name is Eddie Berber and this is the Berber family farm slash haunted house Jason Jason Voorhees Michael Myers and Berbers wait Eddie Berber remember how I theorized like what the Berber Berber auto glass Berber yeah Berber family air conditioning and ductwork yeah that would explain some things in this movie business they bake industrial ductwork for buildings and they're practicing on their own home looks like a family business you put it together yeah you put it together yeah that's what Berber family house has like the ductwork out of die hard for some reason here's where we get to the fun part is he's this little boy is chasing a girl around the kill room yes and the his whole thing is like he has to take the tickets at the at the front gate but he wants to be a part of the haunted house and so he sneaks in with the girl so he sneaks in with the girls to scare her to chase her around and she accidentally impales herself on some sort of stick [Music] what it's a fantastic question it's just bizarre cuz it's like you either have an accident and then he feels guilt from the accident and that drives him crazy or he is a homicidal maniac and he kills her but instead they do both III definitely think they were going for that that hurt that accidental death that drove him crazy the problem is it like drives him instantly crazy yes yes to the point that he can manifest machetes out of nowhere we're not exaggerating to say the next 50 minutes of this movie is a straight-up boner college comedy teens in the 90s love this music this swing music was back on i theorize during the screening that this was just a boner comedy about saving the frat and then they were retrofitted it to make it a horror shot a couple little scenes to sprinkle in it almost feels like that for a good 75 percent of the movie hey Rashad 98% of solo a Star Wars story do some things like that might be too deep of a cut no one remembers solo anymore yeah was this Kathleen Kennedy's first producer job they shoot the whole film we shot one film now let's reshoot half of it to make a new film but one's a horror movie in months a boner comedy five get Ron Howard I don't know why Kevin Kennedy has a smoke [Applause] [Music] this is seriously just the crew [ __ ] around here's the thing this movie alright the the action once you get to the horror part at the end actually a neat premise you know oh Jesus he always wanted to be a part of the show as a kid oh yeah you need to remind the audience of that more than like you know have it in the opening scene and then an hour later 50 minutes we go to a fundraiser and all that [ __ ] you know it's like well I I got this great idea where the diseases this is haunted house that the kids are doing and but the kills are real in this one room yeah I can't just do the whole movie about the kills college the frat house needs the money and then and then before you know it you've got an hour of just crap I just read watch the Revenge of the Nerds let's just do this there's really needed to be an episode of Tales from the Crypt yeah this is a half an hour's worth of story stretched you you keep you keep the intro you count 99% of the fret you keep oh we have money troubles but introduce the characters who get killed a haunted house killer there you go [Applause] [Music] you keep it you keep it a bris 20 minutes leave enough time for the Cryptkeeper to show up at the beginning in the end and you're golden I think the problem with this being a Tales from the Crypt episode though if you were to make this like 25 minutes long is that 15 of that would be the girls stripping and walking into the water it's very very cold she's trying to trying to focus the camera this is why you made the movie focus on the fog again I spent seven hours try to talk her taking her top off the character arc of the killer was that he his psychosis was he needed to kill people inside of a haunted house in order to fulfill his fantasy of being the guy inside the haunted house that kills people yeah why in the heck did he kill those two people in the woods oh because so much time had gone on because the movie had gone on for an hour there was no kills is at that point he could he could have been walking around the town just killing locals you know just random people or just a been a regular old serial killer you you found a plot hole and I did I'm Charlotte how dare you a haunted ween [Laughter] just get on with it though he's being a showman oh wow oh my fall forward [Music] the haunted ween starts so well the last what is it 15 20 minutes is finally what the entire point of the movie is supposed to be which is the these people go in one room there's fake killings oh man they cut a person in half and it's mannequin legs then you go in the second room and that's ready Berbers doing the real killing if you're gonna do that premise you actually need to really nail the acting and the effects in the real portion the wrist was pretty neat well that's that's the thing is is that's the main character's girlfriend she's duct-taped to the wall and Eddie Berber cuts her guts out and then slits her wrists [Music] I'm glad they spent so much time in that romance subplot yeah okay but then it turns out that she's she's fine it's just a flesh wound I don't know the girl who's she's go outside take a leak and then it he picks her up it looks like he's shaking of martinis so high that she hits her head on a tree branch we don't know we don't know what happened you know better she she got so scared as she was being lifted up that she just passed out whatever happened it was wrong a frame when you get a sudden jerky motion I don't know about you guys but I just immediately I'm done I'm done for you're like one of those goats you hear a loud loud sound painting goats I've never heard they never heard of the face it goes no when you if you startle them they they're they have some kind of just flaw that's like a design it's like some genetic flaw that has been bred into them this is legitimately the most amazing thing I've heard in a long time [Music] well buddy scoot and there he goes there are goat farms that specialize in these specific goats so people can go there pay money to scream it go to make them fall down still here and watch this episode's gonna be a little like guys we gotta scream we gonna go far that's how we can destroy the movie that go falls on the tape so the end of the movie the hillbilly guy shoots the flamethrower down the duct work at Berber Berber parently burns him but not his mask yes it burns the skin under his mask but the mask is fine I guess it's that he Berber who was a kid in the beginning of the film like the twist would me ever like one of the frat guys if you were like Big Jim oh yeah right big chin would be a twist big chin would be its own I love triangles yeah that's right they deduce the love triangle and they're happy with the frat the the girl wasn't happy with the with Tim Tebow she's saying your friends are crazy I'm gonna go date this guy and yeah yeah rich rich like I said you need to write a tease they're very popular right now you could make a lot of money there you go just even the most simple ideas that we just barf out here maybe at some point in the future like I will be sucked backwards in time and I wrote all of these notes and each of these films has a warning for you not to get sucked back in time but you're not paying attention you're making fun of the movies well if we wanted to make our own haunted ween we could start an IndieGoGo for it I think it's safe to say we'd make more money than the actual IndieGoGo 400 here to made oh how embarrassing and you know sometimes we get a little squeamish about pointing stuff like this out but clearly whoever started this IndieGoGo is a huge [ __ ] well we looked him up what was his name it was like like Dicky Bushman or something weird that's exactly it some name where you're like oh that sounds like the name of a sleazebag he had like 85 films to his name and they were like yeah sure leader slumber massacre tit stab party six yeah it was just like Richard you're taking notes slumber teenagers the next script you have to work on ascend back in time there's no slumber party no teenagers no massacre no tits you know they screwed it up see now that now that we've mentioned that movie it magically just appeared on her shelf up there it's like oh now it's in our lives you always wonder about that cuz like Doug Robertson he never made another movie after this they're like it's just that one thing mm-hmm you know they got film cameras they showed something behind the scenes stuff or they've like dolly tracks oh there he's they're doing their best there they looked at it and they said oh my god this is a big piece of [ __ ] this was a big pain in the ass let's just stop others I'm gonna go get my law degree yeah others have not been so wise yes sir I've just continued that's true yeah that's soul-searching moment you know yeah I don't want to be the next Don Dahler why keep trying the first one was just terrible I could be a manager at a hardware store maybe maybe that's why the movie just awkwardly ends [Music] I wouldn't expected way buddy what oh my god he's just gonna drive away that's unexpected still running five exciting [Music] that's [ __ ] amazing the van is on fire and it drives off they fades to black because that was just when they gave up they clearly had a tractor with a chain that was pulling this van along and and they thought it looked cool that it was still going again and then it started rolling down the hill and I'll just add it in yeah engine noise oh yeah rolled right into like a little league baseball game that's why I did another the IndieGoGo campaign it's a front it's just they're they're legal legal fees they're paroles coming on [Music] you so that was haunted ween one part one marble haunted Weber twos coming number two is coming as soon as we raise the money in our own IndieGoGo that haunted we an already was number two so oh my gosh she's the corner my mic had 15 shots in between there was discussion and our boss just just just just touched my my soul my goal on the family farm the Packard family farm there have been rumors of the corn coming a life oh I'm attacking people corn itself the corn that sounds like the least scary thing ever you would think so that's a lot less scary than Haunted Wien that would have been a better segue if you said black roses our next film is called black roses our next film is called black roses it is a rock and roll demon scary movie as is now apparently a tradition it's tradition we do the heavy metal horror yeah I know why that has become a thing but it has J why don't you tell us all about black roses black roses is a cautionary tale about the evils of heavy metal non ironically it's not even like oh the townspeople they think metal is evil but it really isn't no this is like reefer madness for the 80s for metal until now and now we find that disciples of the devil are invading our town and threatening to steal our children away from us yes yes their image oh this is so frightening this cartoon skeleton with googly eyes usually in a movie once you've got like the uptight locals in the small town who are against the the things that the scare them cuz they're not familiar with it coming into town they're usually and they're usually in the wrong yeah yes and this time in this town they they have a meeting because the band black roses is coming to town for five nights in the small town of Mill Creek most well-known leishan 1000 population 1000 most well-known for manufacturing shitty DVDs yeah but yeah the van is coming to town for five days they have like an entire town hall meeting in the auditorium where Nancy Reagan is like this is gonna be terrible they're gonna corrupt our children but then like the mayor whoever that guy is he's like no remember the Beatles Rock what about Little Richard Chuck Berry nor a first came out if your parents squawk and what about the Beatles let's don't forget the Beatles they're like oh wow so I side with this guy turns out Nancy Reagan was right oh yeah the the mayor's a little laid-back is like oh I'm a rock and roll parents were scared loosen up squares yeah yeah no it turns out the band is evil they do corrupt the children and all everything just goes to hell one of the following scenes is all the the adults go to preview of the first night's concert yes and it's a very like clean show and the guys sing in light it's like a ballad like a yeah what's the problem you know 45 seconds into the song they're like that's fine yeah I don't suppose there's any real harm to them we're to assume that they've never seen any previous material or heard music from black roses they're going solely on their cartoon skull logo we haven't even heard the music look at this it could be based on what we discovered throughout the movie which is that the band is evil and they turn into weird lumpy monsters as we see in the opening scene which is them playing in another town [Applause] [Music] [Applause] they're already the monsters so I would assume word travels and so when they're sitting like this bad is evil like my cousin is in another town and they were there and they turned into Ninja Turtle monsters they just played it they just played in Portland yeah and the entire crowd turned into zombies and hate people I don't think they should come here yeah is the arc of the stories the entire auditorium of people being murdered or dying yeah might have made the news yeah you think like we were all eaten by monsters and a rock concert and and and video cameras were around and it was black roses who did it they're on the bill is an evil band who turns us into monsters yeah and they they're just read the news this film would work in like 1890 the band travels faster than like like the the letter carrier element where they got to get to the next town before the band playing we have to beat the Pony Express this receives a telegram was we do discover the people in this town are not very bright which is why all the high school students are 40 years old no the same ages the teachers is repeating the 12th grade it never fails to make me smile when that one student who was clearly over 40 years old tries to overcompensate for his age by physically acting yo god I really want somebody takes it away that's silly they said 45 year old man feel doing that he doesn't care that he's dressed like Ernest P Worrell Canada he's 34 cousin convertible only what they think is evil is evil you know they call the shots because they're the adults forty-five-year-old man this is actually a PTA meeting the board together utilizing the classroom the only way I could keep track of who was the teacher who was the student is that the teacher had a Tom Selleck mustache that's one of the biggest flaws of the movie that we should talk about is the high school literature teacher is our protagonist yes I thought it was gonna be the 40 year old team yeah or it should have focused on like one or two or three of the high school students who just aren't quite into this band you know and the everyone else is you got to check out the black roses show yeah we don't really want to go you know are their friends kind of turn evil around them yes yes slow discovery yeah one of their friends who was the the good kid or you know the a students just fail their classes and then and then in order for black roses plan to work they have to get all the kids you know seems very basic again simple fixes you know the other weird thing is like it's one thing you know like to have the kids corrupted but sometimes it's a rubber monster that kills people that's awesome it's like a spider about the kids being corrupted by the music why is sometimes a monster coming out of the speaker which lends another power to the satanic ban is that there there there evil power can be transmutate advice yeah which so they don't really even have to set up shop and go around and play concerts well I am what do they want they just kill that guy they want to form minions or do they want to just kill everybody we don't know what algin eric lee evil they're just evil yeah what do you want to do evil yeah at one point they turn a bunch of kids at the concert into like haunted house skeletons they dad are they are they dad I don't know their eyes are still petrified like it looks like they literally like like beaker or something with because frightens like emaciated than skeleton right yes sure it felt very much like something on a life force it's not a slow burn with the corruption they hear that music once live and the kids are all evil now [Music] yeah right away right away oh not even the building now that look like he-man character the makeup it goes from awesome like I'm just you could still see his like muscles and he's got this weird evil face and then he turns into like right of the dinosaurs show big floppy arms it's like I'm not intimidated by this and say and same with the creature that the student that wants to have the affair with the the English teacher oh yeah and then she turns into a weird puppet oh my god oh love how it's just totally attached to the cameras it's such an awesome looking creature and they're filming this so poorly there's a shadow it's because they only built it DJ well then it turns out because that's one of his students that comes to the door but then he kills that monster and then that student is at the concert at the end of the film so I guess that wasn't her it was a monster in disguise and we kind of know that monsters can do this because remember when the monster was the sexy lady that had sex with the 40 year old teenager yes and then it wasn't there anymore made him kill his dad who's she is she is she that demon lady [ __ ] him so hard that it gave him homicidal tendencies I love you dad we talked about how like there is nothing unifying the style of the demons like it's just a hodgepodge of all different kinds of looks sometimes he looks like a space alien sometimes he's got bumps on his heads sometimes he's got a big monster mouth sometimes they look like zombies sometimes they look like they have Halloween masks it looks like they stole all of the special effects makeup like from the studio at night these are my dinosaur people that attacks the the teacher in the house was an early version of the Mac and me puppet those you know but you're right inconsistency yes that goes along to Jays point earlier which is just also what are they trying to accomplish yeah we don't really know what the goals of the demons are besides we do discover that they're easily defeated and they have no peripheral vision what I mean nobody notices Tom Selleck man just shows up the fourth night of the five nights of the concert wearing like a bright orange hunting vest and I guess that when you're possessed by demons you have like like a deer you can't see orange cuz he just sneaks right up to the stage his plan is so bizarre because he dumps gasoline on the corner front of the stage yeah like you think like you'd have a scene where he's like sneaking behind the stage behind the drum kit you know climbing over the rafters both of the rafters yeah yeah it's kind of dumping gasoline from above really wants to hit the band like gremlins you know and they're behind the screen or something like that but he's dumping in the front corner this day surrounded by people he's gonna light it he's gonna kill more students but he is the bad no he's gonna start a small fire in the corner of the stage and then the band in every else is gonna be able to be able to easily exit that's his plan it's just a nice orderly evacuation it's so bad every everything's wrong it needed to be everything's wrong they're visuals are cool like there's some cool creatures and stuff but there's no consistency to them the plot doesn't make any sense there's no kind of goal well I think the town kind of now knows about the demonic possession because even there's a line at the end that the mayor goes you were right Tom Selleck it's hard to hear him over the extras so yeah he stops it even though the the demon rock band keeps playing in the inferno [Music] and then we kind of just fade out it just fades out and then it comes up like I don't know a month later two months later popular heavy-metal band black roses came to New York today on a five day concert swing before taking their show to Britain early next week the popular group has sold out Madison Square Gardens for every single night in the first week of August and that concludes tonight's entertainment update see you tomorrow with evil what Blood Money what we didn't manage to stop him after all that was as equally anti-climactic as haunted ween but not nearly as funny but well you need our teacher guy he sees sight on the TV and he says something like oh time to go to New York pulls out a shotgun yeah I think and then that then the rock song kicks in and you're like yeah the movie to make any sense but yeah I think he would really you know reach behind his chair and pick up his can of gasoline just enough to get us to New York hey it worked before it didn't know the movie was pointless stop Damien the kids were saved maybe well I guess we don't really know summer dad some of them killed their parents it's a slightly bigger gas can for Madison sake I'm still gone they're gonna go to London they were in a town at the beginning the movie and then they were in this town another in another town I mean clearly we're following this band so we know that everywhere they go people turn into demons and die but put on a good show movies did almost everything wrong yeah it's pretty incredible the theme of the night is just not ending things properly or not ending at all just but that's one of them yeah these movies all fade away every single one of these is like like the the mid show Saturday Night Live sketch where they just don't not and it's just kind of whimpers it starts it has no direction there's there's awkward silence and then it kind of ends and you're like I guess that was it yeah that's that's a little good analogy but these films get more laughter though so let's try to figure out which is the best of the worst rich I got no [ __ ] clue I got no [ __ ] clue against all reason I'm gonna say a haunted Wien just because I like the concept that is mishandled in the last 10 minutes of the movie ah Jay what would you pick oh god you know I don't want to pick any as best of the worst I guess you don't have to but you know one vote for abstain abstain both present present so I I think I was most entertained by black roses I I hated all three films as we all did I think my pick is with carnivore because I don't like no you were gonna pick carnival well I'd picked it this is the most you best of the worst movie well yeah because it's it's it's just incompetent and and it doesn't try to hide its incompetence I think you're right there were lots of funnier moments and black roses and usually I go with that like I laughed more at the movie but black roses and Haunted Wien were too frustrating the little little movie that couldn't wanted to tell a story about a government experiment hidden in the basement of a haunted home they had nothing to work with and they tried their best [Music] we have a three-way tie for best the worst now we got to figure out which movie is the worst movie of the night okay so we're kind of stuck with we have no best so worst Mike I would love to destroy a haunted ween I thought that was the worst ly executed one of them all so [ __ ] that movie sure sure for myself none of the movies were really insulting to me you know I am actually I'm abstaining and I don't want any of them destroyed oh my god III would like the destroy carnivore just because I couldn't understand anything anyone said in the whole movie rich well you're gonna hate me because I am voting for black roses it's it's got that that boring quality where it looks like it's gonna be a real movie and it's still just kind of sucky but in a mostly boring way it's a [ __ ] it [Music] this is a first um we've all we have a three-way tie for best and for worse and they're the same films what do we do do you do you guys keep any sort of like official rulebook where we could consult yeah we have we brought it to the farm we bring it everywhere when we shoot an episode cuz you never know when something like this is oh that's right because we're on my family farm right let's head back to the farm house yeah and grab some apple cider and go for the rule warm up a little warm up it's getting chilly I do have a little bashful oh great come on everybody okay well alright I'm off we'll figure this out [Music] [Music] [Music] start the show [Music] to start the show [Music] okay

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 2,108,255

Rating: 4.9478173 out of 5

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, halloween, carnivore, hauntedween, black roses

Id: 7AbMMTwu3Fs

Length: 67min 51sec (4071 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 27 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/welp_that_happened1]

Lmao they got fucked up

[u/Frank_the_Mighty]

I'm at the part where they're taking about walls instead of the movie.

#TeamLightWall

[u/JoeBagadonut]

I love that they still bring up classic characters like Slade Craven and Sammi Curr.

[u/Tarlcabot18]

Filmed in Kentucky, Tennessee.

[u/Frank_the_Mighty]

"Cats don't have souls"

- Jack

[u/tortiqur]

I wanna know how did the conversation get to Jay murdering cats, i wanna know it so much

[u/lyndsayj]

Mike being so wasted he had to lie down, then everything turning into utter drunken shambles, was gold. Loved how they just took a couple of days off to sober up then returned to the regularly scheduled program.

e: Also I take it Rich is a teetotaller?

[u/ATadVillainy]

Jay is so fucking wasted, this has to be the drunkest anyone's been on camera since Mike on the ladder or super bottles.

[u/[deleted]]

I think this episode just goes to show how not-drunk the guys are in all the other episodes.

So really if anything it's a testament to their restraint.

Edit: Anyone remember there was a video when I think Jay said that if they ever tried to film an episode where they actually got drunk it would be a complete disaster? Could've been on Pre Rec. Not entirely sure.