Picard Season 2 - How Is This Show Still Going?

you know determination really can be a remarkable thing it's what allows us humans to push ourselves beyond the limits of what should be possible overcome adversity that should be insurmountable and achieve things that should be unattainable that's great and all but there's a fine line between determination and sheer [ __ ] humorous that's right admiral [ __ ] and truly few producers working in tv today have demonstrated quite as much hubris as alex kurtzman you remember him don't you the guy responsible for writing such hits as star trek into darkness amazing spider-man 2 the mummy reboots and more recently clarice a tv sequel to silence of the lambs that doesn't have hannibal lecter in it it's a total mystery why it got cancelled after one season but he's also the guy responsible for overseeing the destruction sorry development of star trek on tv and wow what's an impact he's made who else could have given us diverse female space jesus a charisma-free fantasy insert character whose only job is to recon the entire history of classic star trek to the point where literally anything good that's ever happened can basically be attributed to her you go girl and when he's not reshaping and revising the past deflate his own ego he's busy sabotaging the future by hijacking a beloved legacy character now played by a frail old man who's just happy to get out of the house for a while and using him to belittle and berate anyone who once looked up to him star trek picard painted a bleak violent depressing vision for the future of the federation i mean who can forget scenes like this [Music] it was basically a dumpster fire of cosmic proportions to the point where most people were just relieved when it was finally over and honestly i figured that was pretty much the end of it i mean there was no particular appetite for more of this [ __ ] in the fan base added to this were rumors of budget shortages problems behind the scenes difficulty getting insurance for patrick stewart and the delays caused by the unspecified virus of unknown origin and it really seemed like picard was dead in the water and i was fine with that to be honest but hey i guess you can't keep a uh good man down and the other day we finally got to see the teaser trailer for season two so what's adventures away everyone's favorite bald space captain well set phasers to [ __ ] once more as we take a look the trailer opens with a frail and confused looking robot picard wandering around his chateau looking for his jolly irish romulan housekeeper i guess he needs another bed bath or something cheeky [ __ ] but then his brain spazzes out for some reason and he's like what the hell is happening here truly i've asked myself that same question so many times john luke but don't worry because an old friend is here to show him the way one cappy turn oh i've missed you q no way no you might think i'd be excited about q's return after all he's one of the most memorable and unique characters in star trek history and a big part of what made tng so awesome and while it really is great to see john de lancie on screen again the moment he showed up my first thought was oh jesus now they found a new character to [ __ ] up and if i'm being totally honest here q was really at his best in the early seasons of tng when we didn't really know much about him and he actually came across as dangerous and unpredictable able and willing to kill people and wipe out entire planets with the snap of his fingers he was out to test and teach humanity the hard way and he didn't much care how many people died in the process if you can't take a little bloody nose maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed it's not safe out here but the more we got to know him the more his mystique gradually unraveled to the point where he became kind of mundane and by the time he showed up in star trek voyager he'd been reduced to a [ __ ] goofy clown someone to be laughed at rather than feared and i can't shake the feeling that something even worse is gonna happen to him here i mean for a start consider his race and gender for a second in a star trek where every major position of command and authority is occupied by women preferably diverse ones the idea that an all-powerful white man would be allowed to effectively supersede all of them is just well ludicrous i wouldn't be surprised if he decides to take on a more diverse physical form for the bulk of the show or gets bust around and belittled by a more powerful and less masculine cue call me a cynic if you want but i've seen this particular game played out enough times to know that it pretty much always ends the same way q's arrival here also begs the question of why the [ __ ] did he allow picard to die at the end of the last season i mean you realize you're just talking to a robotic facsimile of the picard you used to know right this really isn't the same man nah [ __ ] it if the writers don't care why should i the point is that q's here to tell robot picard that the timeline is broken and it's up to him to fix it damn man there's a lot more than just the timeline that's broken in star trek and it's going to take a lot more than picard to put it right believe me there's also a quick montage of the other pointless characters from season one that for some reason they've decided to carry over to this one like raffy the alcoholic drug addict who abandoned her son to go get high or agnes the psychopathic murderer who enjoys nothing better than a good spew or dodge the genocidal android who wanted to wipe out all life in the galaxy before deciding nah it'll be fine or rios the empty shell of a character without an arc consistent personality or even a reason for being in the show you know i can't tell you how much i long for the days when star trek was able to produce competent intelligent likable and interesting characters instead of these [ __ ] ridiculous melodramatic charisma vacuums the final stinger is a really baffling one for me where seven of nine wakes up looks in the mirror and realizes that her borg implants are gone oh no what a shock either her consciousness has been projected into an alternate timeline where she was never assimilated in the first place or jerry ryan was just getting tired of having all that metal [ __ ] glued to her face i'll let you decide honestly i'm still trying to work out why she's even in this show considering her character has absolutely no personal history with picard and never even interacted with him until now but for some reason she acts like they have this deep and troubled relationship that the audience should totally understand i mean this is the same show that turned her gay for some reason despite her clearly having romantic interest towards men in star trek voyager so your guess is as good as mine i also don't really understand why this is what they chose to cap the trailer off with like you're bringing back q for [ __ ] sake why not keep him a secret until the last few seconds and have him show up as the final image to give everyone something to get hyped about no offense to seven of nine or anything but i honestly don't give a [ __ ] what happens to her in this show this is all fair enough but there's one little disturbing nugget carefully concealed amongst the [ __ ] salad of this trailer and it's positioned right here and i will get us home together why is this significant you might ask well as nerd rottick rightly pointed out that particular line of dialogue is ominously similar to the final line in the trailer for season 4 of star trek diversity i mean star trek discovery which going against all commercial logic common sense and human decency somehow managed to get renewed for a fourth season despite the abysmal ratings disastrous audience scores and general fan hatreds now i would have recognized this dialogue myself if we're actually bothered to watch the trailer but quite frankly i just don't hate myself that much and this is coming from the guy who once drank a pint of turpentine and red bull could this possibly mean some kind of epic crossover event between picard and diverse female space jesus truly the mind boggles at what new depths of shittiness we might reach with the combined power of two alex kurtzman shows dragging us down you know i remember the days when crossover events in star trek generated actual interest and excitement like when spock showed up in tng or bashir had a nice chat with data it was like holy [ __ ] two worlds have just collided and my mind has just exploded a little bit now the prospect of picard and his motley crew interacting with michael burnham so she can save the universe again while crying and talking about her feelings is about as exciting as the female ghostbusters showing up in the next captain marvel movie to smash the patriarchy together [Laughter] honestly though if you really want to fix star trek here's a free tip from the drinker nuke everything that's happened since 2009 and delete the cinematic abortion of the kelvin timeline including all the events of picard and discovery up to this point then vow never to make any more star trek shows until a different production company can take over and go to your room and think about what you did young man the fact is nobody wants to see any more of the bleak dark violent nihilistic unimaginative nightmare that you've created and the only chance you have of generating anything approaching fan goodwill is to flush the whole disastrous conglomeration down the pan and seal the lead shot forever of course that would mean acknowledging your mistakes and taking responsibility for them and we all know you'll never do that say what you want about rick berman but the guy was at least humble and self-aware enough to admit that he'd [ __ ] up with enterprise and even apologized for how he ended it damn imagine that kind of attitude from secret hideout are you serious so no i don't think season 2 of picard is going to be saving anything much less its own reputation in the eyes of star trek fans despite all the shameless fan service nostalgia beating and the desperate attempts to convince us that it's all about putting things right and fixing past mistakes it ultimately looks like just another step down the road that shouldn't have been taken a road that will only end when bad robot and secret hideout finally exhaust their contracts and find a new franchise to destroy oh wait they already have anyway that's all i've got for today go away now

Channel: The Critical Drinker

Views: 874,044

Keywords: Jean Luc Picard, Patrick Stewart, feminism, SJW, Alex Kurtzman, Secret Hideout, star trek, enterprise, bad robot, jj abrams, review, Jonathan Frames, paramount cbs, star trek discovery, Michael burnam

Id: UDNAdudbg1g

Length: 10min 37sec (637 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 18 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/BiliViva]

Investors. He's got the job until... 2023? And then it will be inexplicably renewed despite all of the clear evidence of absolute failure and placing last in the ratings below reruns of reality shows.

[u/Subologist]

Computer… end simulation.

[u/Singlot]

The main flaw for me is to insist on serialization, this way a bad idea lasts an entire season instead a couple of weeks.