Best of the Worst: Black Spine Edition #2

oh my god it's Tim Higgins hey J welcome to the best of the worst studio thanks now for those of you that don't know Tim has been in a bunch of our stuff over the years you were in the very first episode of half in the bag he I am space cop you would just killed thousands of people you're welcome which is now still available on blu-ray your injects I passed me a beer videos tons of things over the years but you've never been on it best of the worst before I'm excited to be here thanks for the invite yeah you know we normally have a pretty good time when we do these when we do the normal episodes anyway that's usually fun but sometimes we do like the we love the worst those are kind of like questionable video the mix Burning Man the worst was when we did the black spine edition what's what's that oh it was a stupid idea that Mike had he had like a dozen tapes that didn't have labels on them so he you put him up on a shelf and had this dumb red curtain and then we had to pick him at random and they were all just just awful but luckily we're just shooting a regular episode today [Music] [Applause] welcome to the second edition what am I doing with my life Wow I can stop doing the voice news well Jim as Jay said this is the black spine edition volume 2 over the years we've been sense blank tapes tapes with no label on them and we've just been throwing them in bins and finally we have enough to do a proper like spine addition we have 6400 tapes and we're gonna randomly select one today because that's what we're doing with our day when we should be at home with our loved ones celebrating Thanksgiving I'm so sorry everyone there's always leftovers you know all right Tim you've got multiple shelves to pick from don't you go ahead and just pick one take a leap to the Future Girl Scout cookie sale troop training 2010 in case you've ever needed tips on how to sell your own Girl Scout cookies this tape will be extremely useful it seems like it wasn't rewound so maybe they stopped it at the sweet spot [Music] [Laughter] Aloha Cassie that supposed to be an email so word document she said the word document mean though I was like an attachment yeah right yeah you know I'm sorry I can't be there right yeah I know it's a holiday look Mike said it was very important again grandma grandma will be around next year don't worry I'm sorry I'm sorry okay okay I'm sorry all right what's what's the immersion the business what's going on what no said I had to be here yeah we're we're doing the black spine edition what you opened the door oh Jesus Christ table manners tots to teens oh that's appropriate considering it's Thanksgiving and you're not eating a turkey dinner come on and the next is the fish course so the fish pork on the left and the fish knife on the right to get out of there she can't stop moving so we're still doing this huh mm-hmm we haven't given up on it yet look at all this look at all these possibilities it's like a galaxy like endless possibilities is there life out there I'm gonna pick this one team demos fierce fighting no-holds-barred starring chemo ground fighting from the guard good old chemo stop moving it around 38 minutes the best fighting let's try blue talk about key though as I supposed to be blue screen Wow oh good axis shut down I just wouldn't allow and here's how we do an airplane you should never be comfortable I dunno trust me you know I think the whole thing was she's like we're not doing none of those things when it's like no that's exactly what we're doing so on this black spine edition we watch some random-ass videotapes what's what would you in charge your tuxedo yes he was the one that started talking that's what puts him in charge that's how it works fair enough and our first tape was leap to the Future Girl Scout cookie sale mm training it was definitely a leap to the future but training Tim I know you're new here but you do not interrupt the host before he is passed off the tape formerly the host picks one of the three victims to introduce the table we have a very very rigid formula here oh this is not fun and games this is a serious business so Tim would you please talk about leap to the Future Girl Scout cookie sale mm troop training well oh you may take over definitely a leap to the future [Music] cookie sailed training though was lacking know there's a literal leap to the future yes I'm feeling we're not in Kansas anymore there's absolutely no cookie cookie training sale there won't go up to a car don't go up don't attack a car it was like ya know approaching cars unless it's an regulator right yes all the informative stuff was just a couple of really quick tech screens the rest of it was was [ __ ] it was some some director trying to show his style I'm gonna make a science fiction blockbuster after this let me show you what I can do this was Christopher Nolan actually this is Christopher Nolan directed this I think the one and only really important part of the video despite all the spectacle and the show and the glitz and the glamour was the disclaimer this entire video is an asterisk saying don't go in a stranger's house don't get kidnapped we're not legally responsible that happens because we warned you that it goes I think it's a ghost Mike it's a ghost so yeah Mike yeah I love this black spine experiment and I for one am glad that we're giving this a second shot despite the fact that the first one was a complete burn dismal failure you know what they say and what is the famous Albert Einstein quote insanity is repeating the same but an expecting different results SPECT indifference results yes but we have a like couple hundred tapes up there there is gold in there them there hills and we're gonna find it's gonna take us 27 black spine episodes think it's a 1 entertaining one but it'll happen let us not forget we discovered Don beverage and push the whopper button on the very first episode and I've got that I've got that ace up my sleeve so we've got 30 more episodes so basically we've already found the Jim 100 garbage then we're gonna slowly plow through things we don't know we don't know unless we try so rich tell us all about what that's not how computers work a few cron noises well how did they okay so it starts with these three Girl Scouts in a two wall bedroom they just came in from doing something they were on something fun and then they came into the bedroom and they have the the classic iMac the first iMac right the one with the color colors yeah backs and then how do they travel to the future well it just happened they get a magical email that comes through oh the email yeah and malindo is like open up the secret link you don't get a special glimpse of to some of the exciting things the future holds for girls of endless faith and love like you you can see the cursor you [ __ ] it's only needs like a word that's spelled wrong with the red it's a Mac like Word document a notepad doc or whatever listen if some that's something they don't teach you in this video they tell you not to go up to like strangers cars but they don't say if you get an email from someone inviting you into the future maybe just close that out well it's mm mm you open up every like what the hell is that it's just a Word document did you notice their bed transform into a future bed did not yeah I miss that the desk was a future desk was like a like a Star Trek The Next Generation like flat-panel like yeah oh yeah the bed the bad dole they had an older bed and then it was like a like a floating bed it was like a sci-fi bad I did not notice that so they they they went all out in this production well you know it's that kind of attention to detail that I expect from Christopher Nolan yeah in his first production now you know our troupe closes here out of this world we're playing a trip to space camp canoeing ski trip horseback riding and other fun things some corporate II kind of think think tank was like oh god we're turning the the millennium into into 2000s Girl Scouts in their little uniforms and doing their things and we update it's gonna seem so antiquated in in the 2000s let's make a video that says Girl Scouts are moving into the future and that's kind of like and there was no content it was just like like people have this perception that Girl Scouts just so cookies we're gonna make a video or a show that they sell cookies no no they use email and they talk about computers and then they fly through space they I just they said it's like we're gonna take a step on the moon like again but the moon that that girl stepped on did not look nice although to be fair you don't have to wear any sort of like spacesuit so they got a stop sign at one point and that was in 2000-2001 yeah come son so the two important takeaways are don't get kidnapped while selling your cookies and Girl Scouts are cool or the future it's just nonsense these literal designs they are flying at one point and they're really flying you go work me read yeah and without a spacesuit or a spaceship I don't know how they survive but they did it well you're not in the Girl Scouts it's a badge you earn yes I'm surprised inter spelt interstellar travel look in the future outer space has air in the year 2000 2000 that's what happens what what what the hunt ah gah there's so many people in my room what the end of the video is is they it cuts to the back to the bedroom and then we realize that we're in a like live TV studio oh the girls start rapping rapping is that even like obviously the kids aren't rapping but is does that actually Melinda rapping I don't know I'd have to analyze the voices all of them have the same toys no they don't I think it's the same Melinda oh you can tell that the little girls once they start rapping it's like you went through so many changes on that trip to space [Music] 7:22 you know they still have their future voices when they grew up they learned how to look like kids yeah they learned how to bring back the embarrassing 90s in the 2000 somehow that was a badge they would as well but Melinda is and then that it cuts the credits and then the post credit scene is Melinda's like I'm gonna play my acoustic guitar while I have you trapped here that's how he said we're done shut the tape off Thank You black spine edition we felt the need to escape [Music] are we done with that that's your decision you're the church in charge I am in charge does everyone agree that we're done was there anything else into the the next thing yeah we watch was table manners oh boy hots two teams now I pick this tape but I'm in charge so Mikey talk about table manners sauce the team's cover a 1993 Nancy Nelson the [ __ ] is that Nancy Nelson apparently produced and or copyrighted this film but is that a pseudonym for what's her name Marge Marge Abell welcome ladies and gentlemen to our table manners class Marge about Stuart a Emily Post esque character prim and proper man proper old lady old white lady I will move into the table Scotty will touch my legs perfect done we go and I tuck in one hand and that's actually her husband young for me there's a tiny little redheaded boy who Marjorie has always posed next to and we we assumed that maybe her new husband as her old husband was too old his body was too old well we came up with it it's like get out but instead of black people you take their brains and put him into small children and then that's your new husband's yeah I think it was Jack who said she loves the feeling of a little tiny hand on her it was recorded turn oh yeah we have a microphone we've been live streaming the body of a four year old boy - the hand of a four year old boy gripping well let's not get ahead of ourselves here though we got it we got to set up this whole thing oh yeah yeah yeah scene in the Phil Donahue show today show the Vicki Lawrence show and the home show and written about it leading national publications like Ricky Schroder how'd you probably see she worked with like famous people there's a young Ricky Schroder picture in it many of the president's children's and now she's just taken it to the streets [Applause] stabbed once it seems like a very narrow audience like if you're going to stately dinners at the White House and your child of a diplomat get that information somewhere else are you ready she's not talking any kid Wow no she's all by yourself he's pretending to doctor kids that that's look at the tablecloth lovely white damask it's been prayers so that there's one little crease right in the middle can you see it it's a tent like she was scared I think she made this video to feel better about herself okay yeah it's the cone of like oh no I can't be racist I have black friends this is like I can't be racist I made a video where I teach small you know a diverse group of children how did you table manners they won't be in the same shot as me and when we go to the fancy restaurant at the end they won't even be in the [ __ ] room the fanciest of Davenport Iowa go to the fanciest supper club but then we go inside the country a lot of white kids they're nowhere to be seen which makes me think they just couldn't get into the club so Marjorie what Marja bail margin high why can't you remember that I guess because I want to say a real name that's not a real [ __ ] name large bail indicates high society I guess I think ease up people come on so Marge about Stuart invites a bunch of children into her home ages ranging from four to there's no it's early teens it's got to be like 30 34 oh yeah she has her eyes on the tops which one of you small children can I put my husband's brain into but I think the best part of this video is clearly the cutaways of the kids fish knife on the right what is it and because you will not be using all of the goblets these looks of disgust and then they must have filmed those those cutaways separately or right away like hey Marge Marge Bell is like you know doing this thing like look at her isn't she funny isn't this fun aren't jamming fun okay get out yeah well I think they spent five seconds on each kid and will discover that no in editing we can see if it's the same shots over and over I think it probably is [Music] there's a girl that wants to go to the bathroom there's a girl that thinks this is all so lame that it's hilarious we got hipster girl we have weird [ __ ] kid I don't even know what to call him I call him Alfred E Newman hell 3d Newman a young you know way he's just happy to be anywhere thank you please mom wants me to be eating well yeah and it had a little book of instructions when it first came out what is wrong with that girl yeah she picked that moment to have her first period you think you could help me set the table wonderful let's set the table and then they have all the kids around her it's like now where's this plate here it is now is the Goblin what's going on it's like oh there's my shrimp Fork or seafood Fork sorry Marja Bell I would love to see the raw footage from this would like when she asked the kids put the placements down themselves oh yeah I would love to see her getting enraged something on the right now may I please have the salad fork who has the salad fork what blew my mind though the salad fork yeah at the next to the plate the last thing yeah at the very end there's some very it's very old fashions because then they also talk about the the the finger dipping water tip tip tip and a nice little touches tip tip hmm do the sides then bring up your napkin this is like like the eighteen hundred's right there a lot I don't even know if like the most stately of stately dinners would even have that kind of ol won't know who dips their fingers in like it that's like disgusting this is an old woman trying to save proper manners even though society's just gone beyond like dipping your fingers at a pole yeah but she's desperately trying to preserve it I want to ask Marge about like like when you ain't bitin something that's like [ __ ] nasty or it's like you get a piece of grizzle yeah well how do you get that out you take your napkin from your lap your best friend them it out shake it down for the dog when they when they finally went to their like the big big show at the end there's that one little jerk his napkin was like oh he's not hanging off yeah I had like food on his mom as a kid that wasn't her actual they needed to fill out those tables they couldn't put the actual like mealy the black kid or the Asian kid so they'd to fill it out with the white kids they came out surfing the food maybe it's like in Davenport Iowa that all of the people know how lucky they are to have a Marja Bell oh yeah in there so that she has many classes for a season and then okay that the the one group was lucky enough to be there for the filming yeah maybe was a hodgepodge of different yes there every group the minorities could not make it that day just coincidentally none of them good because there was definitely children that were not in the video that we watch yeah oh that stately luncheon it's like and take a bite you see you take a bite take a bite there are certain flowers that are simply delicious take a bite they were all promised if they sat through this crazy old lady's shed they were all promised chicken nuggets to sit there put the [ __ ] napkin on your lap go to McDonald's after work ever since so many kids were so busy eating things and just being like you have the first period at Donington take your napkin in your right hand and blocks tap tap tap tap tap tap [Music] so on to our final video of the night which is chemos fierce fighting no-holds-barred J I could think of nobody better to talk about this chemo video oh well I mean chemo is the man that hosts the video yes and he is into jiu-jitsu he's very passionate about jiu-jitsu and you know there's not a lot to make fun of in the video really no it's very straightforward he just you know he wants to teach you all these moves to combat somebody that's coming after you using jiu-jitsu I mean we've seen over the beginning he's an intense fighting man right right yeah yeah very well then he backs up that intensity with his jujitsu are they well executed moves I I mean they looked like they were doing it properly as best as I could tell well I was kind of surprised because you know you think of martial arts and fast action and blocks but these these two men they really like just you know slowed it down you got this guy and he's he's he's got he's got the tats and he's ripped and it's a Jesus on his belly yeah and you know he's just gonna punch your [ __ ] lights out he's gonna pound you gonna have that guy he's on top of you he's gonna give you a severe pounding he has you in a position that you do not want to find yourself yeah you know where your belly let us not forget this is a volume eight and I'm sure the first couple volumes were about punching and defending and you know this particular volume was about a very specific thing not letting someone attack you from above you know so he he knows this is what I got to do and and you know he made the video and it's very instructions for a very specific audience and I think I think it's a great video for that if you're looking for a video about jujitsu holds this is a perfect video I thought it looked kind of like gay sex so much in my face [Music] if chemo is punching them and because you don't come so much in my face so so we did it we talked about all the videos this is the first black spine episode that's actually entirely a black spine episode for better or worse we did not have to pull out a ringer so I think that's positive sign but the time has come yes to figure out which video is the best of the worst we're gonna go we're gonna go alright the table here what you should explain to Tim the criteria ah so those are the criteria is we select the our favorite tape of the night and it's your your pick for any any reason if you thought it was funny because it was bad or if you thought it was good because it was well-made whatever reason you want whenever it's the most entertaining to you firm there's whatever reason oh yes tight yeah I got so cool Tim which of these videos do you think is the best of the worst I would have to go with Marja Bell and her etiquette teachings of Tata tea because wow it there were you there had to be like just fuming outtakes of Marja Bell going and and I loved it so much personality among yes each had their own story yeah and Mike your Vic yeah Marja ball yeah not not only for her her charm and and her her etiquette but yeah packable like I always say the certain tapes you could come up with a backstory they're boring tapes but you've come up with a funny backstory or they're a funny tape you know but this one had both and the the idea of that Marjorie and her deceased husband's soul has maybe that's from tots to teens that's once they become teens that's when they transplant the brain again that's the window to talk the new husband will be you we're going to take your body Johnny oh that's it yeah you know I started and then just nothing else was there that's it was empty it's very almost Being John Malkovich but instead of a whole bunch of old people going into one body yes okay so Jay what is your pick I also have to go with the table manners one just the fact that we spend so much time with her at this table and we keep cutting to all these kids and then when they cut to the interior of that Country Club and it's just a bunch of little white kids like that's the funniest [ __ ] thing that's the fact that they abandoned half the kids from the video it's terrible I'm gonna make it unanimous them know desperately trying to save the concept of table manners for a young generation it's a losing battle that Marja Bella's on pimping and blotting - it's a losing battle it's kind it's constantly thinning out as to where this is applicable yeah all you gotta know is from the outside in then yeah salads first [ __ ] look is this salads last [ __ ] you should make like a just a long rambling video rebuttal now focus on the outside [ __ ] like in a seance bring up Marge Bell yeah we need to get a Ouija board and [ __ ] Marybel just so he can tell her I was wrong she's about salads like dressed up is got a horrible outfit and put you into like some got a really dingy kitchen for your response video where you're talking about the salad for Dixie paper plates this this is a [ __ ] salad fork some outside Marge Bell yeah now I need that [ __ ] dipping bowl cuz all the sauce I'm using your fine silver and you still need to dip your fingers the [ __ ] yeah that was a contradiction as a plot hole a big black hole how are you getting [ __ ] food on your fingers what you know specific don't slurp sorry sorry she said I just saw margery bottle ate a whole bunch of romaine lettuce no children she had a bunch of romaine lettuce and they just hit blood she made a video a how-to video about how to deal with e.coli from Todd's to squats you might come across about tater tots with e.coli on it hot squats that's why they eat the lettuce last really excuse yourself from the dinner halfway through we figured all right doesn't look like Mike's anywhere in the building good let's make sure we never have to film another black spine episode ever again so see you [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,739,889

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, black spine

Id: 11IO-mo8t74

Length: 37min 47sec (2267 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 03 2018