Asmongold Reacts to FFXIV MEMES!

the brothels of final fantasy xiv what is this here in the online role-playing game final fantasy 14 slaying dragons isn't the only fantasy fans are playing out meet final fantasy 14's courtesans they're offering a more mature gaming experience to players who have the means wow in exchange for lofty fees cat girls and elven boys sprawl out on beds with well-money john's in these 18 plus loved ends in final fantasy 14's brothels courtesans offer role-playing services ranging from some lighter bondage fair to all things tentacles what they can't get across in text they express using emotes like slash hug and slash doze we sat down with these courtesans to get a better idea of what the game's working girls do meet queen tepe and her partner vivei tape is a madam who owns the brothel tepe's treasures she oh my god the thing is like the more things change the more they stay the same man yeah they're straight up interviewing a final fantasy pimp that's literally what's happening guys i just want you to understand that and see what's at stake here this is exactly what's happening right now they're interviewing a final fantasy pimp she gave us a tour of her facilities after hours here's the foyer where available courtesans hang out during a service john's will pay half their fee up front the public part of tepe's mansion includes a lounge a stage for dancing a bar what she calls her war room and a tea room that is of course also a spa in private happens courtesans with enough cash private rooms in tepes mansion here the courtesans role-play sex in the game's text chat and encounters first few minutes might look like the sample exchange two courtesans offered us what the [ __ ] isn't everything final fantasy 14 sex workers are masters of the game's emote system i bet they are players who aren't at their computers will earn a few extra bucks by programming their avatar to dance until they're back down in the basement of tepe's treasures queen tape showed us her room which has a hot tub and two beds wow and another room with a leafy motif none of this answers the question who does this yeah that's a good question he said he got into erotic role-playing because of his irl partner who's also a courtesan in the game zach's work lets him shed inhibitions and make friends whatever he does in the game he says stays in the game another quarters and we spoke to who goes by miss k is actually a dominatrix in real life oh final fantasy 14 sex work isn't a sexual outlet absolutely why why wouldn't courtesans don't disclose their real life genders to them is the character that's all that should matter because it's always the same she'd never done erotic role play before she started her business when someone comes to her with a fetish she doesn't have she said i do it anyways i learn their fetishes figure out what makes them tick and try to write it so well that nobody would know it wasn't my fetish to her running a brothel is a challenge not unlike final fantasy 14. oh my god is this really what i'm looking forward to guys is this really what's gonna happen it's like every game has this like what is it like every game has like that place in the game that this [ __ ] happens in this is incredible yeah the thing is like it happens in wow it's the same in final fantasy i wonder which one is i think final fantasy ones are probably going to be better than the wow ones because the final fantasy characters are like more in-depth you know you have more customization to it means end-game raids it's a challenge that the game doesn't explicitly endorse no i bet it doesn't [Music] wow asthma on five minutes into final fantasy xiv this is what this is what happens whenever i say i don't really like the music in one of the trailers okay this is what happens whenever i say it looks like a weave game or this is exactly what it is nightmare the weebs yeah they're aggressive and they're angry and you have to also understand that every single one of those little characters there is played by a 26 year old man who's balding who works as a programmer okay so just keep that in mind there are no actual girls there the only actual girl might actually be the guy's hand asmon gold all endings thank god we have another one of these here we go [Music] natural ending blizzard did nothing to improve the game it stayed a generic grind fest uh mmo with no fun at playing only hardcore addicted players like azmin gold still play it battle for azeroth classic jesus come on guys good ending blizzard fixed wow fixed pvp fixed pve removed all micro transactions from the game and all the original devs came back while isogol enjoys the game more than ever and doesn't even think about flying anything else and even grows his hair back okay bad ending world warcraft slowly dies and blizzard decides to shut down the servers it's not profitable anymore to bobby azmogold has to play final fantasy 14 now and has become a weeb jesus that's not good that's brutal [Music] what the [ __ ] is this what what is this music like as it looks oh my god this is this is so dumb the bald ending see this is this right here is exactly what i wish everybody would do he'll only play wow who only ever play wow you'll see no final fantasy 14 will be his new game and then this is this is what i've said the whole time both games have patch cycles so we can alternate for fresh content while also getting viewers from both fan bases yeah it's actually just that easy it's not weird it's not complicated it's nothing it's just super [ __ ] simple and i don't know why more people aren't okay with that but i guess you know everybody's gotta plan a certain team tribalism yes exactly how it feels is a wild veteran being peer pressured to play final fantasy 14. [Music] okay look at the board the board is the worst part man the [ __ ] board uh because the worst part is like i literally have one of those boards right there man we parade outside yeah sure very [ __ ] funny man hilarious as one plays final fantasy once oh my god what is this dude what the [ __ ] is this the only good part about this is i have more hair okay yeah this isn't really all that bad except for this [ __ ] like look at that look at is my hair actually really that bad but look at that right there holy [ __ ] that's like up at the top of my goddamn head man that's not looking good no profile nope new profile picture no [ __ ] way dude no [ __ ] way am i gonna add that man asthma on trying final fantasy 14 for the first time all right here we go dude my hair looks like [ __ ] god damn this is [ __ ] good i just noticed that this is actually good yeah what the [ __ ] this is the baja blast video oh my oh my god man this is actually good dude so from now on i i do something that's called double cupping double cupping is whenever you have two drinks at the same time and i'll go to taco bell and i'll buy a pepsi and i'll also buy a uh a baja blast and it's so [ __ ] good man my own wedding asmongold's final fantasy 14 stream okay okay is this is this roy one of this are you kidding me dude i've actually really been surprised at how enthusiastic everybody has been it's been absolutely [ __ ] crazy and uh what is this female asthma no face app [Music] i look like the crazy version of a normal person this is like no i look like the i look like a [ __ ] animal man like what the [ __ ] is this this is so [ __ ] clever yeah how how [ __ ] funny guys female husband yeah i can see that yeah very very funny guys no shippers yeah please guys holy [ __ ] look i don't know if it's like i don't know what it is i don't know how i could have have an audience of boomers like these are like [ __ ] 28 year old men and they're sitting around making posts about how i should interact with a girl right it's been crazy man mods will be working extra hard today mods remember no on bands yeah listen that's what it's gonna be and this is yeah the [ __ ] articles and everything like that people are going crazy he did it yeah of course i did it how would i not do it as a dark knight player welcome to final fantasy 14. see this is the cool [ __ ] right here like this is badass like some gigantic crystal castle with some guy he's got like all red and black armor with a giant two ended sword can't wait for transmog competitions and final fantasy 14 what is this huh me too damn that's going to be yeah that that's it's going to be good it's going to be really [ __ ] good i'm excited and let's see is there anything interesting that happened here uh let's see oh my what is this just another oh it's a rich clip hey how you doing yeah yeah yeah keep going keep going [Laughter] hey oh my god oh my [ __ ] god that's crazy 109 thousand people watching i was gonna stream right now which is awesome so apparently the japanese community found out about me playing final fantasy 14. uh i like how he reads all the npc's lines without skipping them i do skip some of them but i i look at it and i'm like okay this is relevant or not right first time watching him his english are so easy to understand true i actually go out of my way to speak properly whenever i'm doing this kind of stuff because i know there's a lot of people out there who watch my streams and they want to make sure that you know they understand what i'm saying i do my best to speak properly i hope we can endure the trolls and keep playing final fantasy if he really likes the game i can see why he's so popular even if he's just reading quest text out loud for six hours straight uh his mouth is pretty foul though i think that they're referring by the way guys i think they are referring to the fact that i use profanity and not necessarily that i'm missing teeth but it could be both we don't really know uh i wish there's no plans to stream it but i guess that's what he does i don't understand english but i like how his i don't understand english but i like how his eyebrows move a lot and his expressions are amazing too his eyebrow movements are amazing oh my god it seems like he's allergic to lalafell majoti i don't know what these other ones are japanese style kawaii character designs only if they represent pre-ps and girls or boys those are the only ones that i am allergic to the other ones i'm completely all right with that's the only thing i mean doesn't this guy look like nicholas cage if he shaved off his beer he'd look just like him yeah i [ __ ] have heard that 50 000 times okay where's the next one here me and the boys following asbon around for six hours just to be a dick it's not to be a dick it's that they know that if they're on my screen they are they're gonna be on a youtube video that gets like millions of views or like on a twitch stream it gets millions of views so that's why they're doing it they're just attention seeking losers it's not that simple it's not that complicated so i saw this posted on twitter the game is pretty good i i do think that it's a pretty good game uh works out pretty well it's just it's nice not too bad guys really it's not too bad don't worry lisa lamassa repost some yeah i saw this yesterday somebody tweeted this at me this is pretty [ __ ] funny dude look at this that's where i killed that [ __ ] pirate dude man yeah dude i i feel like my character looks so badass too man i really do i think my character looks awesome what's this your bald walker is this really is this really the uh is this gonna be the new uh the new starting soon screen wow guys thank you so much absolutely amazing that yeah thank you all so much okay lisa massa welcome uh sign for asmongold what is this every game it's every single game this happens to me young man every single [ __ ] game um okay yeah there's this one as well should watch this excellent final fantasy tank tutorial a crap guide to final fantasy tanks what up warriors of fartness what's the uh this is meant as a joke see this is the kind of disclaimers you have to put in there man who freaks out about [ __ ] like this is crazy what up warriors of fartness i bet you don't have the slightest clue how to play this eyeball melting anime game oh sure you probably know that you can beat up enemies by clicking on them until they die but do you know how to find a static in your fc to help you prague i bet you don't even know what any of those words might be sit down shut up and eat your gizzle greens because i'm gonna teach you what they may have not knoweth thy nooblyness welcome to a crap guide to final fantasy oh this is great i love it the tank is a person in the front lines of every group leading the charge to inevitable party wipes which is because you are the most important person in the party having slap fights i know since everybody else is way too squishy to handle the plus pound i do want to say that is that the tank is the most important part of the raid like you are the most important you are the most important member of the raid because you are the one that the boss decides is the most dangerous you are the one who decides the fate of the raid stunning patty cake you'll never see jimmy's soft boots eyeing up the cloud of darkness with his two by four and squiggly tree branch but how hard you turn on your tank stance do your one two three combo and blame the healers when you die right that sounds like somebody who needs their short q privileges revoked firstly tanks yes you turn this on to start gaining enmity what's enmity it's where you shout out the bad guys hey hit me they'll be paying attention to you so long as you're dealing damage so you better be dealing damage and not just having a staring contest if you don't then they're going to start indiscriminately charging at the rest of the party like a dog in a movie theater if you are the designated man i actually like that about tanking i think that's a good thing is that you should have to focus on dps and like damage as well as a tank i think that's a very very positive tank amen party pulls first boss keeps blocking oh i know that or in light parties the only tank make sure this is on if there is another tank in the party and you're right make sure this is off unless there's some other bad guys you've got to pull if you have conflicting stances with the other tank they will chuck their shoulder pads at you as a tank you should make sure the bad guy's ass is facing the party as often as possible that's indicated by the bright glowing half-eaten donut underneath the target you're the only one getting down with the sickness and also if your party has anyone playing any jobs that particularly likes to clap them cheeks you've provided a bright shiny spanking space on top of this as a tank you are by heidelberg wait a second are there directional bonuses for attacking npcs so like in black desert if you attack from behind you get a damage bonus does that there is oh that's crazy horrible dancing which is why you should move as little as possible once you've got the enemy's attention that way the party can continue to wipe the wampus without having to chase down the bad guy's glorious booty just as well because you have control of where the baddies are you control how useful everybody else is so if somebody puts down a useful aoe stop [ __ ] running away from it now they don't have the baddies attention and are in a nice cozy position you don't have to worry about anything else right that's what i thought you'd say you dumb [ __ ] horse believe it or not when you die it's not entirely the healer's fault just mostly their fault that little bit of responsibility you have is based on how well you can juggle mitigation it's the buttons that make the bad guys slaps hurt less that you sometimes press once a subscription and never think about it again you ever wonder why you have several of those buttons that all seem like they do the same thing well that's because you're supposed to space them out over the course of a fight so the healers don't have to sacrifice their entire manifold and firstborn child to get your frail through the dungeon remember not to bust your tanking load all at once or else you're gonna feel a lot of shame when you're all out of juice and the boss still wants to go about four more rounds every tank also has a press so yeah i think that there's a lot of tanks that like like my philosophy on taking i don't like to toot my own horn here right i actually think my philosophy on tanking is really good like i i know what i'm doing this video is amazing yeah it's really it is really good next to not die button that can be used to survive any devastating attacks or if you're a really aggressive paladin who drew every enemy in a dungeon ever and don't want the healer to hire a hitman on you as for what your limit break does tanks are thicker than the average disney mom to the point your honky chunky donkey behonky extends to the rest of the party protecting them from damage up to a whopping 80 at lb3 the thing is unless you're a high-end player you'll probably be using tank lb as frequently as a good player rolls high on loot overall you have um tank lb three three is the amount of bars that you have and i'm assuming there are different effectiveness levels based off of which bar you have open at that time okay yeah all right i'm just assuming but okay four flavors to choose from punk grunge metal and christian rock there's warriors tank is uh tank lb is uh is situational of course it's situational like there was a set bonus and dragon soul that worked the exact same way whenever the tank would use shield wall it would apply shield wall to everybody in the in the raid i know exactly how this works and i know exactly how to use it like you use it in response to large aoe damage where everybody groups up that's clearly what you have to do it's not hard most lbs go to other people yeah well well you would use a tank limit break i'm assuming to avoid damage that would otherwise be a one shot because if it was not a one shot then you would probably want to use a healer one to increase throughput yes i'm not yeah i i this is not yeah it's not that hard big axis big anger big self healing and if you like to do felk leaves again and again and again if you prefer more brooding than crooding the dark knight is great for doing your best guts impression you get a huge ass sword goopy black energy particle effects and the literal best mitigation in the entire game but it's balanced because they get the worst invulnerability button in the entire game you press it and then it makes you die gun breakers call the tank but everybody knows it's just three dps in a trench coat as designated by the fact you get a [ __ ] gun and your swings explode you have to be a hardcore gamer since it requires a lot of cartridges and finally the paladin who tries to pretend they're a healer and caster but only when the other healers and casters are looking but [ __ ] all that because the most important thing is that you get the [ __ ] sword and shield baby try again holiness [ __ ] now you're not playing you're welcome okay i think that video was actually deceptively informative that was genuinely inceptive that was that was deceptively informative i think that's quite good yeah my baby girl every time asmond's youtube intro outro starts playing she likes to crawl closer to the screen during his videos oh god this kid's gonna be [ __ ] up all right let's see here let's watch it [Music] that's whatever i'm moving my head around [Music] okay that's actually really funny that that's so badass

Channel: Asmongold TV

Views: 567,146

Keywords: asmongold, asmongold reacts, asmongold wow, asmongold highlights, asmongold youtube, asmongold tv, asmongold final fantasy, asmongold FFXIV, final fantasy asmongold, wow vs final fantasy, wow vs FF14, wow vs ffxiv, ff14 vs wow, final fantasy vs wow, ffxiv, wow ffxiv, wow final fantasy, zepla final fantasy 14, asmongold ffxiv, asmongold ff14, final fantasy, final fantasy memes, ffxiv memes, asmongold memes, memes, fan made memes, ff14 memes, final fantasy 14 memes

Id: WLSvxU_D16Y

Length: 20min 3sec (1203 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 04 2021