FFXIV Players Are SICK and I Will Save Them.. | Asmongold Reacts to Lucy Pyre

final fantasy players are sick but i will save them don't even try to deny it because if you're a final fantasy fort sup coomer don't even try to deny it because if you're a final fantasy 14 player that means you're one of us baby and boy are we down bad abominable i mean we ruin everything we touch can't get a cute new feature for a beloved character without everyone trying to cuck her husband the whole somtographic fan art ratio is shockingly equal and god forbid you're interested in what kind of mods people make for this game so if you take just one look your eyes and heart will never be the same absolutely nothing is sacred in your minds cute cat girl character yes yes of course we shrimp but old grandma character with a scoliosis spine oh what an absolute guilt am i right final fantasy what's your players you know where they draw the line and it's right in the middle of [ __ ] nowhere nothing is off limits to you big dragon damn i hope you force me i'll rock wait a second so can you guys see what i was saying about how like if you looked at all of the other dragons horace velgar was the most attractive one like i i don't think like because the thing is that whenever i said this everybody said that i was [ __ ] weird but i don't think that i'm wrong yeah i'm not wrong about this at all like it was no it there's nothing weird about this at all i'm just saying if you compare it to the other ones the line and it's right in the middle of [ __ ] nowhere nothing is off limits to you big dragon damn i hope you force me alright hey do you have scales down uh uh boring somebody is whenever you eat them and you hold them inside of your stomach it's like a sexual uh fetish i know there might be some people that are um not [ __ ] degenerates and they might not know that wait you guys didn't know that yeah yeah that's what boring is i didn't even know it was a was a verb i thought it was just a uh uh i didn't know you could vore something down there disgusting i tell you i can't even imagine being that lewd got me thinking why is that why are we so much worse than other fandoms out there compare us to well man are these racists dry i'd rather pull up an incognito tab of a stale piece of bread than whatever this is but at least while players have that's true i mean listen though the wow models final fantasy i think really really has wow beat in every single way for erp it is just a infinitely better game standards these cumulus races pathetic war strategy a pro gamer move it's so they can filter out any potential final fantasy 14 players and send them down the line after all they don't want a player base full of people who have to play one-handed they value function over form whereas literally every single 14 race was created under this one rule make it appeal to some kind of coomer out there in the world and god did they succeed enough appeal to pretty much yeah i i mean i think that's kind of normal right why is lawful on there i mean let's please can we not [ __ ] go through that again there's some kind of coomer out there in the world and god did they succeed and no there are no exceptions do not try to use male row as a counter example i've had several people personally tell me that they receive loot towels as a male row these towels are definitely real and not at all made up by the way even rothgar are furry bait and lava fowls are for the game itself wants coomers it invites them everybody knows that like anybody who plays a hrothgar i feel like they're a furry like i just assume they're a furry and model the bowser for the game itself wants coombs it invites these people in i made an entire video about how the developers themselves are lost in coomer sauce but we managed to go even beyond that why the absolute [ __ ] did you show asman gold about erp in this game is nothing sacred to you you wanted to show that innocent little man how you write loot [ __ ] for virtual currency i mean all right so number one like it is going to be very innocent like that's what i i find that to be a very big insult okay i'll probably be on the internet longer than this girl's been alive i don't want to hear this [ __ ] that this talking down to me [ __ ] the [ __ ] do you mean find a base but you can't just go sharing our degeneracy willy-nilly osman chan is innocent pure look at that beer the only secrets it holds is the secret to peace and happiness [ __ ] how dare you corrupt yeah it's pretty hard to say that with the straight face let's be honest just mind like this you should have known he would do it too because he's a react andy that loves youtube money in the animal that's true kingdom we call this symbiosis but i know for a fact that you're all parasites spreading your degenerate disease far and wide becomes how do i fix you how can i save you from this disease and i know you're probably saying lucy if anyone in the 14 community is gonna purge this sickness it sure is [ __ ] not gonna be you and in return i say touche my friend but i'm an anime girl with a main character of an idol anime syndrome so guess who's gonna try so i've decided to start a final fantasy 14 kumar rehab uh don't worry i thought it over and despite my own nature i'm definitely the best pick for the job and i will prove it to you right now um welcome to rehab the first step is admitting you have a problem common sense might lead you to think there's nothing wrong with me it's okay to be a degenerate i don't bother other people with it and this thought process exactly correct but where's the fun the drama the character development in that be honest with yourself you're watching a lucy pyre video would a normal person do that of course i mean somebody just linked me this video i mean what's wrong with this i mean yeah i just i just got linked the video what am i supposed to say it's not only alphas and chats watch my content and it's time to bait ourselves down to fit better into society now let's get started the number one cure it works 99 of the time most of the time just go join a random party find your group for any extreme or savage content bonus points if it says no salt or clear for a friend you'll never want sex again after one of those two you can run the vault to purge that sickness you filthy wrath keep doing this until you no longer know what rule 34 means or you want to install the game either way i will have one three invest in a modest glamour for example if you're a taste that's my secret shrimp for your cat girl if she's decked down in full armor but you know it does make you curious about what could be hiding it this is my armor set beneath all of that wait [ __ ] scratch this one never mind uh four don't do the main story quest just a general recommendation because it'll force you to meet this this and this and ah well i mean yeah these two if that's your preference i just realized it's really counterproductive for me to show you pictures of a character so that's almost just as bad as anyway if you've already cleared the story there's no other choice you'll have to resort to number five the final step the ultimate solution this is where we pull out the big guns but it's the most foolproof plan so far i've made you the strongest resource known to mankind and it's called the yoship wallpaper of shame it's easy didn't he actually go on one of the live letters and ask them to please stop installing erp mods didn't he do this yeah so basically they had like this really big problem with uh erp in the game and it was like a big problem with mods and stuff like this and he just goes on and he's like guys please stop please stop this just stop this yeah it's a problem yeah and they they kind of stopped a little bit but uh you know not enough youth the design is very human i've made it just for you and it's freely available on twitter my child what did i tell you i would do anything to cure you of this elvis just make this your wallpaper and every time you have a thought that would make crystal mommy sad look into his disapproving fatherly gaze he is disappointed in you disappointed in us all you can practically see the regret in every wrinkle on his face wait what do you mean is that a mega point batty daddy i mean you're completely right but for [ __ ] sake have you been listening at all i give up i give up on the 14 community you're all filthy degenerates living and done by the coup how can that's true forget yoshi i'm disappointed in you i mean if you're gonna call him a daddy you can't just not mention soulful like what the hell is going on oh my god [Music] [Music] and when we meet our match [Music] bro i wonder what somebody who's like never seen like you've been a wow player for like 15 years you've never even thought about final fantasy and you show them this frame and you're like hey man got a new game for you yep i got a good game for yeah about this [Music] [Music] is [Music] guys [Music] [Applause] [Music] with the furries in the background [Music] [Music] [Music] do you want to know the truth i think this girl's really funny i i actually do i think she's really funny i think this is a good video like regardless of like the like i yeah i think she's really funny like absolutely that's enough reacting for today yeah here's the video yeah this is really good like yeah i first funny girl in history okay all right y'all chill chill bro chill i i i yeah i'm really [ __ ] impressed by this this is really really good man wow give her a sub yeah i i'm i'm [ __ ] impressed by this like a normal person would not do this she i mean listen whenever i saw one of those like cat girl or dragon girls on the screen and it a girl's voice came out of it i was surprised too man i was let me see what the in before it's a man hey you know it is what it is right i'll watch the other video then i'll look at the bungee stuff okay here we go no do you want to learn how to be you are you evil no do you want to learn how to be you read the title right this is a tanking guide because tanking it's not about fulfilling your role play fantasy protecting the party it's not even about satisfying your main character syndrome it's about going fast so fast that you knock the earth out of orbit and become the enemy of the entire world that's right what the [ __ ] all about the big pulls baby remember when the paladin cat girl says she can take 20 guys at once she means it literally and she achieves it through sheer force of will determination and these goofy little buttons called sprint and defensive cooldowns i use those to yourself hey surely there's more nuance to this yes but you'd be shocked at how far these two things alone can take you hell healers are so used to bad tanks now that they'll fall into uncontrollable lust if you use arms length i mean i never use that there are people out there who don't use it this baby can fit so much mitigation inside of it so yeah i never use that ability the reason why i don't use that ability is because uh i forgot what it's key bound to like i i would use it i just don't remember what i keybound it to so i just stopped using it like a year ago please mitigate damage so you can last longer you wouldn't want to be a one minute man would you so go right ahead and pick one oh and just remember that it's better to use one or two cooldowns at a time and don't blow your load all at once okay we interrupt this broadcast to give you a pop quiz here's the million dollar question you queue into a dungeon and the dps is pulling mobs ahead of you you do if you said you pull you tank then for the sake of thank grits left ass cheek just go back to dps roles yeah they're [ __ ] like any time somebody pulls extra mobs that's good because that's more stuff for you to tank yeah you always want to pull more mobs every single time yeah i never worry about that [ __ ] that man the only the tanks that are like oh you pull you tank it you know why they say that it's because they can't get aggro i'm not gonna tell you you have to like it when dps does because they suck but i am telling you that watching a dps die and grieving the rest of the party by refusing to do your job is not the way so if you're not i don't know about that the leroy jenkins pop a viagra and perform this might not be the role for you but hey that's why i'm here to help there's a super pro gamer move that lets you avoid this situation entirely be faster pull before them you sprint you sprint did you see that right before you pull the pack so you get that sweet juicy succulent 20 second sprint no it's only 10 in combat hope of passing you after all you control the pace and the pace is always full [ __ ] throttle baby so yeah that the thing is like i didn't know that this was the meta and final fantasy i thought it was rude to pull a bunch of mobs whenever i first started playing because i was like oh final fantasy is it's a girl for like you know it's it's a game for like girls and like weebs and like people that like role playing so i mean [ __ ] they're probably not going to want to have big pulls because it's going to interrupt them like that's what i was thinking yeah absolutely and i had no idea this was like the this is the normal behavior you're pulling big you're rotating your cooldowns and you are using your aoe rotation to maintain aggro for the love of [ __ ] god that means that by this point you're already better than ninety percent of duty finder tanks but they're is it really that bad boss fights what about those how is it that bad little guy all right you're gonna smack them turn them around this way and yeah yeah that's pretty much it just don't cleave the party you may be asking yourself why cool downs for the bosses you just hit the same button over and over it's easy don't fall for that [ __ ] it's a trap with large dungeon pulls which i encourage you to do moms are gonna pound you way harder than the boss will don't save cooldowns for these wet noodle hits there is one exception sometimes you will see this ominous red symbol on your character which means you should probably use one cooldown yeah nice now i don't i don't know what that is you want to escape the city with everything yeah i i get that question still here's a crash course paladin i'll just get here you'll also like sparkly [ __ ] and you're still naive enough to believe in things like law and order warriors see listen to that is mcconnell still in the chat every tank is similar but they all have their quirks so here's a crash course paladin play this if you also like sparkly [ __ ] and you're still naive enough to believe in things like law and order bro it's so sad it really is so sad he got called out yeah he left i bet he [ __ ] did here's the thing is i think that uh i actually think they should allow paladins to use a two-handed sword i feel like there is no reason why a paladin shouldn't be able to use a two-handed sword as just a uh as a skin basically i think that would be here cool this if all you care about is being indestructible and you think being a dumbass is a lifestyle choice darkness play this if you're compensating for something and your dad is still out looking for milk and gun what the [ __ ] what what what those are my two main classes i'm going to over compensate this if you're a degenerate and you don't handle peace and quiet and congratulations it's time to receive your tanking phd which means you're all ready for tanking content just don't forget this one little thing tank stance now coming in four special little flavors of the exact same thing these i used that about half the time dave if you blink at the enemy it'll hate you for life this groundbreaking modern technology is found only in final fantasy 14 where tanks are just more defensive dps join us today that's right that's why i like 59 a month a new superiority complex guaranteed to your money back running make up good modern gaming behaviors please contact your therapist before ordering okay okay very [ __ ] funny uh classic wild threat all classes are dps classes yeah it's way better this is good i i don't agree with the dark knight thing okay i think the dark knight thing is for edgy boys it's for edgy boys that grew up thinking dante from devil may cry was the coolest dude ever okay like there's a link yeah get give her a like give her a sub she's almost at 100 000 subscribers i've i've never seen her content before but i find this to be very very [ __ ] funny dante yeah he is cool though yeah true bro i play dark knight too yeah 100 man i know that man dante was such a badass man absolutely yeah dante is the coolest yeah 100 [ __ ] percent man yeah dude we all play dark knight in here 100 percent [Music] you

Channel: Asmongold TV

Views: 405,140

Keywords: asmongold, asmongold reacts, asmongold wow, asmongold highlights, asmongold youtube, world of warcraft, asmongold funny, asmongold tv, asmongold channel, ZackRawrr

Id: yel4YQpnmcE

Length: 20min 5sec (1205 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 28 2022