Are you taking him back? | UMU | Tony Gaskins

hey tony guys here popping in now i want to do a video today now i'm feeling all right today and motivated invigorated inspired spent time with my wife this morning and just hanging out that always motivate me on my work days today wednesday now for the most part i shoot my videos live meaning it's day off on this wednesday this video will go up today wednesday um the other thing i want you to understand is this is never easy for me it's never easy for me because every time i do a video i'm breaking the man code i'm i'm you know decoding the matrix and the other reason why it's not easy is because i got guy friends you know i got male friends who they're not all the way what i'm talking about like a lot of guys still on a journey you know it took a long time for me to get where i am mentally and emotionally as a man and i'm still growing you know and so you can imagine if if i'm still growing and i'm here doing this every day giving away the game for one that holds me accountable but to it steps on the toes of just about every man i know and so that make men you know your homeboys you grew up with guys you met don't want to talk to you because you giving away the game and because you're making them look bad because they wife or their girlfriend may know of your message and they may want you to be on their side but i got to shoot it straight i got to go right down the middle with it and that offend a lot of guys so a lot of guys don't really want to be around me because it i disrupt their spirit because they're not walking they're not walking right they ain't living right and this these guys that i know guys that i kind of know guys that i'm okay with and so for me that make it real lonely you know as a man i probably got one you know real real real homeboy and i step on his toes and so you know i want you to understand that what i'm doing here will not be giving away this game but for me i got the answer to god i got the answer to god and god said what did you do to help the human relations to help relationships to help hold men who done what you have done to help hold them accountable what did you do so i got to be here and so because this between me and god this ain't this ain't about me you know trying to just help women this ain't about me trying to just help men it's about me pleasing my lord and savior so now only video understand this right here you have to be careful when you take a man back and it's a lot of nuances to this stuff and what you have to realize is i'm not talking from powerpoints or a whiteboard with a bullet point list so i may leave a nuance or caveat out when i'm talking so you kind of have to infer read between the lines and kind of you know know like okay if he hit on this then yeah he probably forgot to say this but it's in line with what he was talking about so understand this and the first thing is that you have to realize is that a man knows what he wants and what i mean by that is even if he doesn't have a list formally even if a man hasn't written it down a man knows the woman he wants when he meets her so when a man sit down this man could not even have thought about getting married marriage might not even be on his radar but if he sits down and he talks to his wife he will know it and a lot of times what happens is men see men don't like being alone men struggle being alone and so it's not an easy thing y'all gotta forgive my behavior i got in my eye it's not an easy thing for me to be alone oh let me take a commercial break commercial all right thank god i was hurting me it's not easy for me to be alone men struggle with that and so yes my hands clean honey is your hands clean yes my hands clean and so men struggle just fending for ourselves being there for ourselves like enjoying cooking for ourselves doing our own laundry enjoying our own company what so many women have to do and get comfortable doing that terrifies nine out of 10 men so a man always looking for a companion a man always looking i'd never meet 100 single man meaning he is not entertaining women he's not sleeping with women he's not not he's just single working on him and his relationship with god his business his his grind i never meet those men a man say i'm single but he talking to somebody it's a woman that's got his attention and it made literally a man may be single a hundred percent for two weeks a month on average yes they out there but they won in a thousand so we're not talking about that okay you know 10 all right congratulations cookie 10 out of a thousand all right we ain't talking about that you know it definitely in a hundred out of a thousand because y'all can't go around here okay no one person tell me they know 100 men that 100 single can't nobody tell me they know 10 men that's 100 single meaning not entertaining a woman ain't on the phone with no woman sleeping with no woman nothing ain't watching no nasty movies but just them they purpose in god you know you don't know it so typically when a woman meet a man it's either because he is looking for a companion for convenience and or he's looking for his wife and regardless of which one which space he's in when he meets his wife he knows she is a wife he knows she's wife material he knows she's wife ready and he knows if he can marry her he will notice within the first three months and honestly within the first month honestly within the first six seven 10 hours of conversation 10 hours of conversation he knows if he can marry you or not point blank period so that is why you have to be careful when you take a man back so you got to get into this right here why are you considering taking him back why do you even have to take him back what was the reason so if you had to leave a man if he did whatever he did and you had to leave him if you're going to take a man back that is the safest bet when you taking him back because you left him but caveats and nuances why did you leave him if you left him because you did not want him he's not on your level he's not your type then you should never take him back because if you look down on him and he's not your type he knows that he's not your type and if you entertain him after you left him to go back to leather black jacket man that you really want to hop on his pole if you left him to go back to her ex or to go back to the coup or to go to a cool dude and then that person right there dogged you out and then you come back and shoot this man a text or he texts you but he know you think he's unattractive or you think he's lame or you think he's out of shape or you think he's to this or to that too short too dark too light too tall too skinny too muscular too whatever he knows if you think that because he know what your type is because he hasn't seen enough couples to know what type goes with what type he's seen relationships that are pure and genuine to see is this type match this tight he knows so when you take little ugly back and i'm not saying he ugly because he a child of god i'm saying this how you see him as little ugly as looks challenged that is a mistake that is a mistake he's going to dog you out okay so if you leave him if if you leave him because you do not feel he is up the part he's not on your level keep going with your life going about your business go on about your business you hear me now if you had to leave him because of something he did to you it's caveats and nuances in here too if he did something that is small inconsequential it is minute it is not going to shift the direction of the hurricane it is it's just something that's a pet peeve that you don't like but in the grand scheme of things it's not really a true deal breaker it's something that just super annoying and you don't like it leaving the toilet seat up uh chewing with his mouth open passing gas in the bed snoring digging his boogers in the car and flicking it out the window just stuff that just it kind of irk your nerves it'll annoy you as kind of a pet peeve calling you babe or boo and it's only been two months just a little stuff like that when you have to pull back for that like you like hey we need to take a break we're just going we we we we just need some time apart i don't think this is working i don't think it's going to work because i keep telling you like listen please stop passing gas when you sitting on my couch because this is cloth and you keep passing gas when you go i come back to sit down and when i sit down it's just like the green cloud on the cartoon come up and i'm smelling gas and that's just disgusting i'm trying to help you understand this like we just met it's only been a month and you keep passing gas and you think it's cute and you laugh about it but i spent hard-earned money i'm still paying bad cop back for this rent rent the own couch that i got to pay every week and they calling me when i'm late threatening to come take the couch back and you keep passing gas in it something like that right there stuff like that get on your nerves first 30 days you ready to go because he on your nerves i totally get that but listen with something like that you could take him back because you had to get distance for him to learn a lesson for him to realize this not cute this is not funny this is not acceptable this is disgusting this is gross this is childish this is manish you know grown boyish and this ain't gonna fly you got to fix this i don't told you three times i'm not gonna keep dealing with this sometimes you just get a little break you get a little distance for that and it sends him a message he wakes up he learns now listen if he made you leave him because of something intense okay cheating or of you and when i say you i mean it could be verbal of you it could be emotional of you it could be physical of you if he made you leave him for something like that or cheating now that's when you get into the space of okay yeah you had to leave him but what did he do that made you leave him now that's when it get really nuanced right there that's when it's really dangerous right there to bring him back into your life and so it's the best bet to just keep going with your life unless you truly 99 of you when it comes down to the um keep on going emotional verbal or keep going with your life keep on going with your life even with cheating when you find a man when you catch a man cheating it's most likely when you catch him cheating it's 10 times that you did not catch so honestly truthfully you should keep going with your life it that should be boom i'm gone because he the thing about it is before it gets illsa and before he cheats it was little stuff that you had already checked him on raising his voice at you or not keeping his word when he said he gonna call he didn't call when he said y'all going on a date friday y'all didn't go on a date friday it was little stuff that had already happened that you kind of mentioned him like look what's going on with this right here like what's up with this that's not cool and so by the time it becomes uh or he cheats by that time it's like look bro you already had one chance two chance and then boom third chance this what you doing okay i'm up out of here now see here's the thing i don't condone playing the fool listen to what i'm telling you i do not condone playing the fool but at the same time i'm a real person and i know real life happens and i know it's women it's countless women who have been cheated on and they have taken that man back and they do that and they get mad about that when i say look you should leave and because they have children together they may have one they may have two they may have a life together they may have a home together they may have a business together so yes when it get heavy like that it's easy for you know a woman who ain't got a a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of to say oh you need to just leave you should never ever end ever in a million years stay it's always easy to say when it's not us it's easy for me sitting over here 100 percent happy marriage absolutely in love with my wife 100 faithful doing amazing hate to rub that in doing absolutely amazing it's easy for me to sit over here and say hey you should you need to leave you need to leave because i'm not going to pay your bills so it's like yeah tony you telling me i need to leave but you're going to help me take care of each other you're going to help me pay for their private school you're going to help me pay their car no you're going to help me no absolutely no i'm not absolutely not i cannot do that i don't have it for you and i apologize about that i'm pretty sure it's a foundation out there that could help you but that's what you might need to do get on google and see if it's a foundation that help women who are starting their life over leaving a relationship and starting over it's foundations out there lord willing i could i could start that foundation if you in florida and you have been executive director of a non-profit and you want to run run my non-profit i can put the word out and help raise the funds but i just need somebody to you know now you have access for the fun now you can look in there but you're gonna be able to send transfer they're gonna have to be on me because you're not gonna have me on american greek which you stealing money but you want to run a non-profit you got your life together you got your life in order now come now listen don't bring your pea pot ton i just i just had this pot just cause i got to go but i would love to run that foundation now i still ain't found no window to throw the pee out of but at least i got a pea pot no come on get your life together get your life together first night come on now gotta get your life together take your little class take your little certification then reach out to me tony i love to be you know one of the directors for the foundation to help you know manage the website and run the instagram page and help plan our giveaways and and our stuff like that all right go and reach on out timmy jobs tonygassin.com not job like in the bible jobs j-o-b-s at tony gaskins.com send your resume now do not come here without no resume now you got the least being done something for yourself all right moving on now see listen you need to leave you need to leave and start over and this one help you understand this the reason why i say you need to leave is because a man knows very well what he's doing a man know what he doing he's taking a chance and he's taking that risk because he's willing to leave he's willing to lose you he's willing to lose you and that's why he take the risk why do you gamble because you willing to lose that money i don't gamble but why you getting because you're willing to lose that money you know when you go play that lotto you're not feeling hit but you finna flush that toilet flush that money down the toilet when you go to casino you know you not finna hit but you finna flush that money down talk now you think you might be a you know eternal optimist and you just got all the hope in the world you think you finna pull that latch and you finna hit cause your auntie hit your cousin here i remember working in a group home i went to the casino i took took my clients in there and the man he hit hit for seven hundred dollars well i just went to putting all kind of twenty bill twenty dollar bills and uh i said oh i'm just do twenty nothing i had to spend a hundred dollars and ain't hit nothing and so listen you know as a man when you cheat on a woman you taking a risk and you risking losing her so as men when we cheat we deserve to lose the woman especially when we continue to do this because i believe in grace and mercy i believe that you've told a lie and you didn't get in trouble by man god knew you told that lie i believe you maybe have stolen you maybe have cheated on your taxes you maybe have cheated on the time clock and had your friend clock you in but you didn't get to work till 30 minutes or hour later i believe you have cheated or you have stolen or you have lied but you have not done jail time for that i believe that god will grant us grace and mercy but now you keep having your friend clock in for you every day one day when you're walking in the building your boss gonna be standing at the door oh hi are you just getting here i i just i just saw you park oh no oh no i had to run to my car really quick and guess oh no i i just watched you park so you're just getting here oh okay okay go back to the office and look saw that you came in 9 30 but saw you were clocked in at nine nine the lord let you get away with it two three times but because you keep hollering holy holy and you keep wanting to come on the comments posting scripture and preaching to everybody but you cheating and stealing and lying in your own life the law often let you get exposed you see what i'm saying that's the same thing happen in relationships we make mistakes every human make mistakes but we don't get caught for everything we do until we get complacent and we get reckless with it because we've taken the grace for granted god said every man falls short by the glory of god that means every person will sin that means everybody gonna sin and that's why jesus said he who is without sin cast the first stone because we can't judge somebody else just because they sin differently because he everybody gonna sin so this is the thing when you catch a man doing something it is a very very good chance 99 out of 100 chance that he already been doing that and getting away with it and then got sloppy and that's how you caught him i could probably put me on a good mask and go up hit the right real quick get all the fronta teller and boom i'm good now guess what if i want to go right back now or if i want to go up the street to the next one now they ready because it'll hit the paper and so now they ready nah they got a plain clothes police officer sitting in the office now they paying him 10 hour or the police paying him and that's just his station right there at the bank and he gonna sit there for the next 365 days because they know if somebody gonna come back they're gonna come back again within 365 days they got the doubt and so you going there again thinking you finna get some rent money again before you get to the door hands up free that's what happened it's like a man he'll do a little cheating a little emotional team and then nah boom you catch a message you see a message on instagram in the dm and you like oh okay i ain't gonna blow up the spot right now and just keep an eye on him he think you don't know he thinks you are none the wiser so he keep doing it now he set up an in-person meeting he'll know you watching all the messages nine he see nine they got the mean set it's at one two three main street he don't know that you read his messages it's at seven o'clock he tell you he going to the gym he's all right okay cool hey cool all right i'll see you when you get back he going up that he had at the 123 main street you hop in your car on your bicycle and you going right on up there he meet up with with the young lady and here you come walking up like the man on the hidden camera on cheetahs oh yes with the mic in the face oh yes um so how do you feel being a cheater what made you cheat and nine you didn't set the scene off you didn't set it off and he like whoa what in the world just happened how did this happen he got sloppy he got complacent that's what i see so that's why i say when you kept when a man become or when he starts to cheat you need to leave you need to be gone now for all of y'all listen to me now listen to me this is your life i'm just talking head on instagram i mean on youtube this is your life so if you decide to go back you're doing that at your own risk you may lose it all you may lose your life you may lose your sanity you may lose your purity meaning you catch a disease you may lose it all it's a good chance it's a 50 50 chance it's a 50 50 chance you're gonna lose it all all of something either all of your self-esteem all of your sanity all of your peace all of your happiness or or all of your health or all of your life it's a 50-50 chance you're going to lose it all when you take a of you man back or a cheating man back understand that i'm putting that out there that's the disclaimer you want you want to gamble you want to play the fool you want to do it hey listen to me now what's going to come now see on the now the neck side of this is i said if you leave him you love him because you don't want him because he's not on your level or you love him because something he did that's two different types of leaving you love him because he look ugly or he or he looks challenged or you left him because he's a cheater or a liar or you love him because something that's get on your nerve that's a pet peeve passing gas on your good couch so now on the other side of this when you have to take a man back when you think about taking man back is when he left you when he left you a man tried to arc with me talking about tony you said a man could have emotions and not show it but then you say if a man leave you never take them back [Music] a man not gonna have the emotion of love and not show it a man not going to he may not say it but he's going to show it because love can't be heard love can't be here a caterpillar will show you love when you walk outside it'll crawl right on up to your shoe and crawl right on up your shoe hang out right on your laces if a caterpillar could show love a man could show love if a man feels love for you and he's not showing you love you don't feel the love from him that he claims to feel then he doesn't deserve to be with you he's not a man that's a part of being a man being able to own up to your feelings and express your feelings to the person who is sacrificing their life for you they're giving you their heart to give you the energy to give you the effort and giving you the time the least you can do as a man is show that woman that you love her if you cannot show her that you love her i ain't talking about with lip service sometimes i show her that you love her that she feels love that you don't deserve them you don't deserve a shut up and let her go so that a real man who is fit for her can love her now this the other thing so if and one thing about a man and every man know this a man is not going to leave a woman that he loves he's not going to leave a woman that he loves so if a man leaves you you should never take him back unless you willing to be up the creek and left without a powder paddle five years from now ten years from now three years from now two years from now because when a man leaves you that means he don't want you so when he come back that mean he just holding on to you until he ready to leave again or until he gets you in the place where you are so crippled and dependent on him that you don't have the self-esteem or the ability to leave so now he can cheat and you feel hopeless and helpless because y'all have multiple children together and you have not worked in years so you feel trapped you feel like it's no possible way you can leave because your kids will have to live in the ghetto and eat out of a can of beans that have them having gas at night and at school tomorrow with dirty clothes on because you cannot afford a washer and dryer and your lights and water get cut off so you your children are getting dressed in the dark and your four-year-old have his right shoe on the left foot and you did not catch it because you was up crying through the night see you start to have that kind of vision even though it's not gonna be that bad well sometimes it is that bad but even though it may not be that bad and you might not have to go through all that you will have that kind of vision and it will scare you to death because you will say this is not about me anymore this is about my kids being comfortable because yes he's a cheater yes he's an absolute dog but he pays for their school he pays for their clothes he pays for their sports i have to suck it up because this is my fault because i chose this no good sorry idiot man and now i have to stay so that i could be in the life of my children because if i leave he may win custody i may not get to see my kid he or he may let me have the kids but he won't give us a dime and i don't have the earning potential to give them to give my children the life they have right now i don't earn enough money and i've seen women say that in the comments i've seen women tell me that at their own mouth so listen if your life is not on the line if your life's not on the line meaning you know he's not physically or you not so his idol because of what he's saying and how he treating you and that's your argument hey to each their own i i'm not gonna put you out in the streets living on the streets eating out the trash can for my ego just to have a power trip and be able to pat myself on the back and say i told her to leave and she left and i'm just a youtuber talking and she listened to me and she left and now she living in the streets eating out trash can with a kid i'm not gonna do that now if your life online meaning you feeling like taking your life or he may take your life you gotta leave you gotta leave your foundations out there for that now if foundation's not there for that and if you can't google and find one then if you hearing this message that means you either got data or you got internet so that means you could get to google you know i mean you could google and you're gonna find a foundation you're gonna find a foundation and um and see you gotta go to a foundation because they set up to raise money and to lose money because see the way our world work did the what's the way our world work and this is sad it's sad that it's hard for people like me to help because i haven't seen my own family do it to me my own family then did it to me come boohoo crying he's abusive i need a lead i need to leave i want to start my life over he's abusing he got tv right and i just need to take care of my kids and i want to take care of my kid and then i paid first and last month's rent for a new apartment which cost me 1500 to 3 000 and then i paid 500 off for a moving truck to come and move all the stuff and then two weeks later the man living in the new apartment and that happened to me more than one time so when people write me listen you got to go to god now you got to go to guard now cause i just i ain't got it to lose now if it's a little gofundme and i could give 25 50 okay i got that now i only got 3 000 to lose but now if i'm a foundation or organization and i'm raising money from millionaires i'll help you at that foundation because that's what the foundation is there for that's not taking food out of my kid's mouth and uh my table you see i'm saying so i can only do so much out of my personal pocket without you know me coming after you now i got to come after you now because now i didn't took food off my kids now you gotta worry about your boyfriend and me you see what i'm saying so don't write me now google and this foundation that'll help you if you feel like you got no other choice and you don't you can't earn no money but you know you need to leave because your life on the line google and find that foundation and go ahead and get on up out of them now if your life not on the line and you just say look and you say this you say okay for one if i leave him i'm not dating nobody anyways i don't have the energy for a relationship so it'll just be me and my kids struggling he's not doing anything to me he's not putting hands on me we sleep in separate rooms we're not sleeping together so i'm not at risk to catch an std and but my kids are taken care of they're comfortable they fine we got this place to live i'ma just see him like a roommate until they are grown until they all hit 18 and then i'm up out of here if that's your plan god bless you to each their own we don't get the right and i know it be people in the comments oh you should never condone someone stand with a man who is abused i didn't say stay with a man who abused listen to the video listen to the video i said if he's not doing anything to you he put hands on you your life's not in danger from him your life not in danger from yourself feeling so idle from emotional of you which a lot of y'all talk about the emotional and the verbal make you feel uh idle so if you if you don't feel that bad but you just realize he's a dog he's all the way mentally gone he in another relationship but you have children and they taken care of and you gotta exit strategy saying when they get 18 and they in college on their scholarship or it paid for or they done with college so that he paid for all their college because if i leave he gonna stop paying for their college then i'm leaving and i will be 40 years old or 48 or 50 and then i live the other 50 years of my life 60 70 years of my life without him if if that's your exit strategy that's a personal choice what i'm saying is if you're in imminent danger you got to go you got to go you got to go you got to do what you got to do foundation somebody god don't send your angel if he got to you got to go all right and so now i understand this right here and we do need to get that foundation up and running so i'm gonna need a board now i'm gonna need a board i need people i'm gonna need different people in different chapters because i need somebody and who got the northeast i need somebody in the southeast i need somebody midwest i don't even know what the midwest is i need somebody in the uh far out west i need somebody in the southwest i need somebody in the southeast i already said that whatever texas is what it texas that's the middle what's that the central america central south america we need i need different chapters now list you got to have your life together now meaning when you start a foundation just to be helping you with all the fundraising all that going to you so you got to be in some kind of position now yeah we'll help you out a little bit now we'll help you out but you know still but yeah we got to have this national foundation now i'm going to hit the email matt jobs at tonygaston.com put you to work we'll figure something out and so understand this when you see that he left you and so all that what i was talking about right now i was talking about when a man leaves you he said he need a break and then he comes back and he's great he's amazing until he gets you trapped with all them kids or without a job or you didn't gave up everything moved away from your family now you feel trapped then he go back to cheating because you feel stuck that's what happened when you take a man back who left you because he didn't feel you were his wife he didn't feel you were the one now the other reason a man leaves you and then comes back is because he left you because he he want to be with you for the rest of his life because you put up with his mess and you know him and you truly love him and you you he knows you love him with all your heart even though he doesn't love you with all his heart so he want to be with you but he know you also not just such a duck that you're gonna let him cheat on you blatantly and not do anything about it so he leads you he break up with you so that he can go and cheat in peace so he can knock off all the women that he'd been lusting after that he'd been thinking about and then after he then sold his wild oats and he then got that out of system now he comes back but when he comes back he know he got to step it up a notch so if y'all were just dating he know he got to get engaged to you if y'all were engaged he know he got to marry you if y'all were already married he know he got to buy you a car or get you a new house or get you a new ring do a new wedding reception write some new vows when he when he leaves you and then he comes back he's going to step it up a notch but the truth still remains he does not truly want you he does not truly you 100 his wife he don't truly believe that 100 he might be 90 he might be 80 percent he might be 70 typically he between 40 and 70 percent when he leave you and then he come back typically he between 40 and 70 sure that you could be his wife and that's the thing is the difference between you could be his wife and him absolutely wanting you to be his wife because see almost any woman could be any man's wife every woman has the potential to be a wife because a woman is created for love you could pluck a shrimp off the pole and she could be an amazing wife you could pluck a prostitute off the street corner and she could be an amazing wife this this truth this really has happened this really has happened y'all saw nah but see look now that women nowadays nah they got that savaging so they will feed you to the tigers like what carol baskin did i live in town where carol was at so when carol told me she walking down nebraska and she met that man he pulled up beside her nebraska is the prostitute lane that's the prostitute lane no no no no woman walk down especially a white woman if a white woman walking down nebraska she'll probably so that's what carol baskin was got picked up got her a man with money did me now went fishing and then later she fell into the tiger you hear me so now what that is reaping what you sold what that is when a man thinking with his little head and he choose the wrong kind of woman who'd have been turned over to the savages and then she said okay you come oh you finna be my lunch meat and you gonna pay the price for every man that has hurt me so that's me and pay that price a lot of times if y'all women y'all get mad y'all get upset and you say to yourself well why is strippers getting husbands why is prostitute getting husband why is video victim getting hurt why is loose booty women were they booty out online getting a boy look he that man got plans for her he got plans for her he's not coming he's not getting her to treat her like no queen ain't getting her to treat her like no queen and she ain't probably she might not be getting him to treat him like no king she might be getting him to chew him up and spit him out it all everybody pay a price in that when you choosing from the wrong place in your heart whoever choosing from the wrong place in their heart is gonna be a price to pay and so understand that don't worry about that but listen to me never ever ever take a man back when he left you when he because if he left you he don't want you so a man tried to say well what if he left her so she could grow so she could grow see a man heart is not like a woman's heart so a man don't is not going to give second and third chances so a woman will leave a man because he need to grow and then give the man another chance my wife did that with me men do not leave women so they could grow and then give them another chance yes you've seen it happen but it reason why it happened is because that man has a soul tie and by leaving her by putting her down and saying you're not on my level and leaving her and then taking her back again he just got him a slave that's gonna be working for his love and working for his approval so now he gets to take out his insecurity and his anger on her and he get to talk to her like a dog because she is so afraid that he's going to leave her again and so he makes her feel inadequate and so she starts to work for his love see women on average do not do the same thing unless she's been turned over to the savages because women are created for love so when a woman leaves a man a woman leaves a man under the impression that there are not that many good men so sometimes you have to develop and work on the man that you have if he has potential and sometimes for him to get the point and realize he needs to grow and change you have to leave him women understand that women are not the same you don't have to train a woman a woman is created for love she created to be a wife god made eve to be a help meet to adam she was created for the sole purpose yes she can be a ceo of a fortune 500 yes she can be the president of the united states but one thing that is innate for a woman is love she can be a mother she can be a wife in her sleep so men know that so when a man leaves a woman who is a grown girl he don't want her but when he comes back he coming back because the woman he wants does not want him because he got standards for you but he not on the standard of a grown woman but he got standards for a grown girl to get up to but then he want to be still toxic so when he go try to get a grown woman to see if she gonna stoop to his level and let him be toxic the grown woman give him her butt to kiss then he like after kissing her but then he gets left and now he come back to the woman who quote unquote needs to grow need to stop being so loud or so ignorant or so whatever she is ghetto immature whatever she is that he say she need to stop being he come back to see all right do you want to do right now but now when she say yes i'm gonna do right yes yes daddy i'm gonna do right i'm gonna do right what you need me to do you need me to cook you need to clean you mean to talk to you like a king you need me to stop cursing at you you didn't even and so she doing all that right but now he looked down on her he looking down on her because let me tell you something a real man is not going to even deal with a grown with a grown girl who don't want to grow just like a real woman is not going to deal with a grown boy who don't want to grow so now if this woman just is unlearned in a relationship and this man have to take a break from her then that's no different than the grown woman who see this man who got a lot of potential but just unlearned and so she got to take a break that's totally different than having somebody that's a grown boy or a grown girl who don't want to change don't know how to change don't care to change that you coming back to so when a man comes back to a woman that he left because he says she need to grow he coming back to her because he still need to grow too and that's what happened with a lot of humans and now sometimes in that situation if a woman need to grow and the man need to grow but he the one decided to walk away and leave and then he come back if his heart is in the right place and her heart is in the right place they can grow together you see how many caveats and nuances in this but understand this right here if you a woman and you say tony i was at fault i ran him away because i cursed him out i would curse him out when i got mad i ran him away because i would talk to my ex-boyfriend i ran him away because i would emasculate him in person in public in front of other people i ran him away now i feel bad about it now i asked him can we start over and he said yes we will give it a try okay so do you realize what you did wrong if you ran him off okay you realize what you did wrong all right when he come back let me ask you something how is he treating you [Music] is he talking down to you is he being rude with you is he being distant is he being controlling is he being move swingy is he cursing you out is he disrespecting you see if that's what's happening that means he is a grown boy but he could not deal with a taste of his own medicine so you tolerating his grown boy behavior but he's unwilling to tolerate your grown girl behavior so he wants you to grow and become a quote unquote mature woman but he's still an immature man you don't need to take him back you need to realize this and say oh you know what i made a mistake we not really a fit for each other i'm going about my business now you lead he left you the first time now he come back and he immature you lead him a second time now see understand and you gotta do it immediately you can't be with him two three years and then decide you're gonna lead no because now here grown boy you don't wound them up like a jack-in-the-box now you're going to explode on you you'll know what's going to happen so you need to immediately you got by them 30 to 90 days to make it to make a decision if you take a man back who left you when he come back you got 30 to 90 days to see if y'all can grow together as king and queen or if y'all just not a fit because y'all too immature for each other or y'all just not compatible for each other now understand this right here if you're the woman and you ran him off because of your pain and your issues and he was a good man and you ask him can we start over and he says yes and he comes back and he is kind he is nice and he is a good man just like he was when you ran him off the first time now y'all can grow together if you have decided you're going to grow now y'all can grow together that is an exception to the rule if you ran him off and he come back and he kind and he nice and he's a great guy but then he takes a stupid pill meaning okay he's peeled drunk but the pill said stupid on it so he took a stupid pill and now he start to i crazy three months in six months in you gotta go gotta go gotta go gotta go because he came back out of resentment to make you pay for what you did to him the first time y'all was together he came back for revenge and see this is a mistake that women make you run a man off with your brokenness then you ask him for another chance he come back and he cool and calm and collected at first then he flipped the script on you and he start tearing you up when you are just in any kind of way emotionally verbally he doing you wrong and then you start to tell yourself i deserve it okay i understand i'm gonna just go through with it i'm gonna just put up with it i'm gonna just take it because i did this to him the first time around i punched him in the nose and broke his nose so now it's like i deserve whatever he doing to me i'ma put up with it no no because when somebody forgive they gotta forgive so when my wife she left me because i needed to grow i came back around to her for general conversation six months later she didn't say a single word to me she didn't text me so we had only been together for about two months three months that's the other new caveat in nuance is the length of time y'all work together before you go apart you take a break or you break up if you was together for a year or two years and then you break up the relationship is over [Music] because y'all have plenty of time to get to know each other and know what the other person needs when y'all was just together for a month two months three months under six months and y'all break up that was a trial period of getting to know each other and y'all testing each other to see what's gonna fly and what's not gonna fly so if y'all take a break and then get back together then now you actually have potential for it to work because on your first trial period when y'all were testing the waters y'all got to learn what's gonna fly and what's not gonna fly now on this next time around you still need to have a timeline so you always have to have a timeline in your relationship in the beginning of the relationship or the beginning of y'all getting back together you can't just get back together and say okay we in it for the long haul i'm never leaving again nope you got to evaluate it every 30 60 90 days between you could evaluate every 30 days if it was toxic that first time it feels bad if it was decent the first time but y'all just had a little few quirks that just didn't sit right with y'all relationship and now y'all get back together now you can evaluate it every 90 days so every 90 days you evaluate it now see listen to the video three times if you're in a position of deciding on if you're gonna take a man back listen to videos three times now listen i know some of y'all gonna say well what if we got kid none of that matters and i talked about kids and already so listen to the video again too listen to the video again too it don't matter if you got kids if your life on the line if your sanity on the line it don't matter you got to be a single mom you got to be a single mom list you ain't going to be the first you're going to be the last all right yeah your kids ain't going to get right in the back of the roll royce or whatever you trying to do for them private school or the best sports leagues and all that yeah they might not have everything but along with they got love and they got they mama 100 they're gonna be just fine they're gonna be just fine they might not have all the lack of luxury but they're gonna be just fine so if your life on the line or your sanity is on the line because if you lose your mind then your children have lost their mother so if your sanity on the line you got lead i don't care if you got 11 12 kids you got the lead point blank period y'all listen to what i'm telling you okay so don't be coming oh what about if we got kids what have i got children what do i got to build together okay start your new business dissolve the business let the building go let them have a business you start at one business you can start another business in well on god's green earth you could triple your worth anywhere you get planted you could blossom you hear what i'm telling you you got to know and understand that don't feel like your life is over just because you got this part ways with a man that man is not god and god is not man that he shall lie but man is not god so man will lie so if you have to part ways with a man guess what now you need to date jesus you need to go to god and get the strength and the wisdom to build your life from the ground up your father in heaven got cattle on a thousand hills he feed the fowls of the air and he closed the lilies of the field how much more will he do for you his child so you got to understand that you cannot depend on no man but nothing and you actually when you get that toxicity out of your life you actually gonna thrive and flourish even better and that's what you're going to realize that is what you're going to realize so understand that right now now when i'm telling you this nah all right listen to me now listen to them they're right here what's gonna happen so listen listen to this video three times and yeah when you're on your walk you need to walk 30 minutes to an hour okay so you got time to listen to the video go on your walk hey it's too many ads popping up that means so good they don't they only put ass on when the show good so when ad come up instead of getting frustrated and mad by the ad don't be taking out your anger for the little raggedy relationship on the advertisement and on me just use the ad to just okay let me just process what he just said the last sentence because that was heavy i need to unpack that let me process that while there's 15 seconds playing you see i'm saying you got to shift your mindset you got to shift your mindset you wound up tight got the 10 i got your pandas in a wad because that relationship and then nah you going off on the ad the ad didn't even do nothing to you that's that man that did something to you now you mad with me an ad i get tired of reading about what y'all what y'all got with the ad right that man that dogged you out write the man that dog july about what he did to you the avatar may do nothing to you oh i am so sick of time i already have time man it's getting on my nerve i can't even enjoy the video cuz you enjoy your life when using that toxic relationship all right then so that's what we're here to confront that's sorry no good man so stop getting mad at advertisement and get mad scratch your booty and get glad because we trying to get over your sorry relationship advertisements at all point blank period understand and respect the process of the work because see everybody ain't gonna get to this point in the video because of a mindset so if you got here understand why you here understand that you doing the work understand that when you do the work the results follow so guess what you in the one percent and so that means you're gonna attract a one percent partner and what that means is you will not fail because you're gonna be happy single and you're gonna be happy in a relationship because you did the work on you without making excuses and complaining so get yours and when everybody else complaining and they mad but the message stepping on their toes or the avatar and get on their nerves guess what they've taken themselves off the market because they attitude is jacked up their mind is jacked up because they cannot do the work so guess what that means more people for you to pick from because it's people who've fallen out the race because they unwilling to do the work that's what you got to realize and understand hey god bless you this tone of gas i've got to get going got a cold cup uh coach a couple more clients today we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 45,675

Rating: 4.944622 out of 5

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Id: iRTOjvIKHPw

Length: 60min 0sec (3600 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 21 2020