How and Where To Meet Good Men?

hey hey tony guys here popping in now i did a q a on my instagram story yesterday and like 10 questions in a row was where to meet good men where to meet good men and it just it just tickled me it was just hilarious to me because i'm like wow now here's the thing it was it was something that stuck out to me that i never forget when it comes to good men i had a graphic designer right i had a graphic designer uh who was single good guy good great heart i had an assistant that was like a intern mentee assistant and then i have another uh mentee and those three men those three guys that they were all you know when they were in their 20s now going on into the 30 one of them into 30s [Music] one of them very introvert he's in the graphic designer's introvert the assistant slash mentee he was a virgin when i met him he was 26 he was saving himself until marriage and the other gentleman he's 26 27 and a little more he like a introverted extrovert like he doesn't he's not afraid to talk to people strike up a conversation and what have you personable but not life for the party not a clown all three of these young men would never stay in the house when they were working they all would go to starbucks starbucks semicheck they all would go to starbucks and sit and do their work and so it kind of said something to me i was like the good men that i know are active another thing that they would do is go to the gym so it would be the gym and it would be starbucks or it would be barnes and noble but a lot of barnes noble have a starbucks inside of it or they have a reading area so it would be a bookstore it would be an internet cafe starbucks or another one and it would be the gym and then outside of that it will be church but when you're a good guy you try to respect the house of the lord and not shoot your shot so to speak unless it's just you know that's your wife so when you think about this it's not the club it's really not the club good guys go to the club at a certain age and it may be for a birthday party it may be just because a friend want to go it may be what have you good guys will go to the club but it's typically not the club and a lot of times a guy will feel a little apprehensive to shoot his shot in the gym now another place would be the mall now one of the things that a man will do when he's single and he's looking he will frequent high volume environments so downtown the downtown area or whatever little districts that you have in your city where there's a lot of shops a lot of shopping and a lot of food and there's sidewalks where you're walking past the shops and you're walking past the full areas so every saturday every friday night saturday sunday if you are a single woman you should be out of the house you should be in the downtown area you should be in the little districts where there's food and shopping and go out there and just walk around literally walk around and then find some time to sit down what you want to do is if you get a cupcake from sprinkles is that what they call spring semi-check and you sit down in front of sprinkles on the little bench or if you go to the mall and you walk through the mall now here's the thing you're not going in the stores you're just walking the circle of the mall you walking through the mall and when you go to the food court you're sitting down so if you walk for 30 minutes and you put now what you need to do you pop in one store and you buy one thing you ain't got to ball out just get you something so you got something in your hand so you don't look like the lost wandering child walking through the mall deliberately and i never forget i was in los angeles and i can't remember what i was doing in l.a um obviously it was business related and i went to the beverly center i think that's what it was called and i just wanted to go there because usher had it you know said it in a song and so i said let me see what the beverly center is and i was in the beverly center and i was married you know still married of course but i'm in the beverly center and i'm just walking around i didn't have any money to spend this was way early in my career i didn't have any money to spend but i just was passing time so i went to the mall and i'm walking the you know the circle of the mall not going in the stores and i came to a little little place where you could eat at you know it was in the beverage center on you know i don't know how many floors in there but it was just kind of like this little open bar looking thing and you know it's tall black columns but then it had a little seating area and it's literally in the middle of the mall and so i sat down and i ordered me something to eat and at the table right next to me was a young lady she came in and she got sat down and she was by herself and you rarely see that like i'm a loner so i'm by myself a lot of times but i rarely see people by themselves especially women and she was by herself and she got sat down right next to me and she had on some jeans and she had on a purple shirt and back then the the boots the high boots it was kind of look like a suede boot that come up to the knee the knee-high boots those was purple and i remember it because as a relationship coach and at that time i was also a matchmaker i pay attention to this and i pay attention to how people dress how people present themselves and this was a decade ago not a decade but probably eight years ago and i still remember it to this day because i remember saying to myself if i were a single man this could not be set up any better because the table wasn't too far it was almost arm's distance so i easily could have struck up a conversation and said hey have you ate here before oh no or yes i would say oh um what do you normally order this my first time here i'm from florida oh i thought i heard an accent you know i i planned this through my head i could have shot my shot but being a married man i couldn't say no i just had to take data because i knew i wanted to share this with my clients and she's sitting there and i'm eating my meat i get my meals she get her meal if if i was i'm a very shy person i'm an introvert i'm very quiet one thing i've never been shy about is a personal woman though but just being shy and quiet and an introvert which shocks a lot of people because i i'm a speaker but this is my purpose that's why i talk i wouldn't be on here just doing random stuff on youtube i'm on here to change lives and help people navigate life and dating a little easier and so as i was sitting there i was saying to myself you know what even being quiet and shy with her being here by herself and she's not in a conversation with her girlfriend or her guy friend she's by herself if it took me 10 minutes to muster up the courage if i was a single man i could muster up the courage in them 10 minutes and shoot my shot and we finished i finished my meal i got up and i went to walk around so as i'm walking around i come to like an escalator area and i'm coming this way and she coming this way and we literally get to the escalator at the same time and she gets on a step in front of me and then i wait a couple you know let it move a little bit and then i get on and i said to myself again wow if i was a single man i could not script this any better i could easily shoot my shot and so this is what you have to do now here's the thing the key about her presentation is it was cute it wasn't sexy it wasn't bombshell it wasn't you know because she could have had on a dress that stopped right at the bottom of her booty cheeks to where that little bit of discoloration be and a little bit of cellulite hanging out me and my wife just got done eating and when we were driving off my wife say look at this lady i looked over and the lady got on a dress that stopped right at the bottom of her booty cheek but because she walking the dress come up above her booty cheek a little bit and the last little bit of booty meat hanging out and we at the mall this at the mall and you know on the outside of the mall the the restaurants how they had the cheesecake and the brio and you could walk from restaurant restaurant she walking into besito with a boyfriend now she with a boyfriend y'all forgiven my accent getting a little too relaxed and i need to be trying to talk proper just in case we have any educated proper people come on here and so she had booty meat hanging out now this young lady at the beverly center 10 years ago could have been dressed like that but she had on jeans she had on the boots that come to the knee and she had on a shirt and she probably had on a little jacket a little sport coat looking thing little jacket and so what the outfit said was comfortable cute and classy that's the key not doing too much not doing too much with boot all kind of booty hanging out all kind of breast hanging eye like you out there need you need a bottle of gatorade cause you looking dehydrated not thirsty you looking past thirsty and like you just trying to catch you a man and then the other thing is you don't want to look disheveled you know with your messy bun and you ain't got no makeup on and look like you just got out of bed and you're trying to look so disheveled to to look like you don't care but really you do care and then when the man of your dreams get ready to approach it now you're feeling crazy and flustered and all of this because you looking like who shot john and forgot to kill him so you want to find a happy medium and then now listen the mall the starbucks the gym and the downtown or whatever district area those four areas right there is when you single and you ready you've prepared this is what you call positioning you prepare now you position yourself because what a man who is single and ready what he needs is he need the opportunity to see that you're not in a rush to see that you are approachable meaning that your head is up you walking like this you're walking like this you you're looking around you you're aware you're alert you're not walking with your head in your phone you're not talking on your phone and you don't have a bunch of people with you so don't be afraid to date yourself now you can have one person with you you never wanted to be a guy like don't take your guy friend if you single and ready don't go nowhere with no guy friend even if he like men if he like men that's even less of a chance for you to get hollered at because a man who like women is gonna feel a little awkward coming up to shoot his shot to a woman if she's with a man who like men because he gonna be thinking well what if this guy think i'm cute and he and he want to shoot his shot at me while i'm trying to shoot my shot at her so don't take your little friend that like men don't take your little so-called homeboy that you think is your friend but really he waiting on his opportunity to pounce on you and you don't understand that because you don't understand men and so go out there by yourself or you go with one girlfriend one home girl who is a cool calm chill relatable approachable person do not take corella deville i their who act like a guard dog so anytime a man [Music] did we call you my goodness where you raise that and y'all having friends like that that she be blocking your blessing because don't nobody want her butt because she got a nasty attitude so when the man look over this and she's shooting rays at people she's shooting people raising her she hit him with rays so every man that see and he ready to approach she's in her like a little yorkie and the man is afraid because you got this woman with you that her energy is bad so yeah she make you laugh because she a hot mess and yes she fun to be with and and yes you're a great time but she's blocking your blessings so you got to be okay going out there by yourself and you got to be and i remember like i'm as a married man i remember as a married man sitting down with another guy and it was two women sat right next to us at the event and the lady asked me a question and she asked me a question and then the other lady she had leaned up and something happened and i went and asked her a question the lady though right next to me she thought i was trying to holler at the lady she i mean i had my ring on everything she's leaning all up she's leaning all up getting all in the middle i'm like my goodness that lady like y'all sitting here talking and we right up under each other at this event so i'm just trying to be nice trying to be cordial but you'll have those type of friends and not that this friend here she was a a little strong she was strong now she she had a set of shoulders on her and everything so she was she was literally like a security guard and the other lady she looked like she tried to be a little more you know all that and so it was like she the security guard and then she this other lady thought she was cute now one of them was not attractive to me you see what i'm saying because i'm married for one and then two my wife is like fine wine so i really don't see a woman when i'm out and about i go anywhere i really don't see a woman that i think is more attractive than my wife to god be the glory but they didn't know that if far they know i could have been this could have been a promise ring or they could have not even seen it i could have been a single man but if i was single now the general miles will he was single but so let's say he wanted to talk to the to the lady over there on the outside he didn't but let's say if he did this lady right here in the middle blocking so that's why you have to be careful who you take out with you and if you if you don't want to take your mama because that's disrespectful because it's like it's a thing to introduce your partner to your parents to take them home to your parents so if you go out with your mama it's awkward for a guy to approach you you don't want to be out with your daddy because he's definitely not going to approach you and so and the men who approach you when you with somebody for one that's a red flag because he is it does not mean now it does not mean that he's it's not gonna work out it does not mean that he's a bad guy but it is a red flag because that takes a whole lot of courage and typically only a womanizer will have that amount of courage and so you very rarely gonna have a good quality man who have enough courage to approach you when you with somebody else or you with other people one or more people so you want to be by yourself as often as possible because it just makes it a whole lot easier you're a lot more approachable and then i hear some people say well oh i'm afraid to go out by myself then you're afraid to date did that mean you're afraid to live so just hush and just stay at the game just stay off to the sidelines and just stay single because you can't live in fear get you some pepper spray and you don't have to be out at midnight you could go out until dark which would be like 8 p.m or you could stay out a little past dark and you park in a well-lit area or you valet your car and you got your pepper spray right down your keychain if you that scared but you can't be living and meeting your husband scary so if you scare it then you need to pray okay and then you need to stop watching the news all day and night and you need to stop going to sleep with lifetime with the lifetime movie network plan because your mind is so scared you thinking somebody's going to follow you grab you up you you seeing all the stories about the trafficking and all of that and it just got you shook you can't live a life like that you got you could prepare the best you can have you some pepper spray watch your surroundings watch it where you at when you go in your car make shame nobody following you if somebody right close to you or following and they looking a little suspicious it's a man and he by himself now that man could be about to holler at you get that get that pepper spray red on that finger just have it read on that finger because it might be it might be your man but see if you scared now when the man come try to approach [Music] you starter you jump oh my god oh my god you're scaring me today you scared me so man don't dude you should not be walking up on people like that and you just so scared and imagine walking through this car like you walk into yours you see what i mean and so you have to be in expectation of meeting your husband you got to tell yourself i'm finna meet my husband i can meet my husband today so that way if you think about this now think about the countenance on your face if you're saying to yourself hey i might meet my husband today oh look how you doing you just the giddy you just feeling good versus if you saying to yourself oh my god somebody might kidnap me and put me on the traffic and rain oh my goodness somebody trying to kidnap me oh my god they just snatching people up right here oh oh you just looking like you the scene uh casper the ghost and so when you see your husband you so wide-eyed and jumpy he like man she might be on some she must have took a pill she taken why is so wide like that why she looking around like yeah like she on a fugitive you see what i mean so you want to be in a position where you cool you calm you relax and now i remember one time we did a live experiment in washington dc and i told a young lady we were shooting a documentary and i told young let you know walk slow just walk at a you know not slow but like at a normal pace like you not sprinting to a store like you're not racing through somewhere and she went walking she just walking too slow she would just i'm like oh my goodness and then she walked past a group of guys and then we went up to them guys and we said hey did y'all see that young lady walked past you right there like yeah we see him i'm like you know what did you think why didn't you say anything and then somebody was like well man i thought she was taking oh man i just man she looks good me hanging i'm taking a lot she looked too good so much well man i just she like she didn't want to be bothered you know everybody said something different but it was just we were doing a social experiment for the documentary and she was walking too slow you know you want to walk a normal pace your head is up you're not on your phone you're not texting so that way you could be approached because at the end of the day this really just about positioning and in this day and time with everybody being on their phone with everybody being in a rush with everybody dating online with everybody being able to meet people anywhere in the world right through social media it is harder to get approached it is harder to meet somebody organically in person so unfortunately like i hate that i have to make this video i hate that i get these questions like this the worst question in the world like this is the worst question in the world this is i would never i i did not want my life to come to this like i want to serve and i want to live a life of purpose but this is not the question i want to be answering but unfortunately this is the question i hear so many times and honestly it's not rocket science it's very practical but a lot of times people just ask questions and they don't want to answer and so it'll be women tony how do i meet a good man where do i go to meet a good man really what they're saying is tony do you have any friends who think like you that you can introduce me to but they don't want to say that tony where do i go to meet a good man and i say well where do you go now um to work where you go after work home um okay so what you do on friday night watching your videos what about saturday uh cleaning up cleaning up my house uh what about sunday uh church or church online and then watching videos watching your video i'm like so okay so do you expect this man to come ring your doorbell is that what you weigh them well well god could do anything so he might work for ups and delivering a package and it's like you got to get out the house you got to get out the house so listen honestly as a single woman what you need to do is when you get off work friday if you tire you know you go take your shower change your clothes if your if your work clothes ain't nice enough change your clothes this way you want to be jeans with some dunks or jeans with some 4 inch heels um you could have on a little form-fitted t-shirt with a blazer or just have on a nice blouse with the jeans like you want to get that uh smart casual smart casual business casual not formal not super duper casual um not overly sexy you want to be sophisticated and sexy or sophisticated and cute casual chic so that it says my outfit looks effortless but it but you know it took effort but it looked effortless that's that that middle ground where you want to be at because that's gonna let a man know like okay she cool she down the earth you know she classy she good looking she take care of herself she's approachable you know when you have all your extensions you got the extensions popping and you got them primped and curled and all this you got on three layers of makeup you know your lips still swole from your filler your cheeks still a little puffy from your filler you got on just you know so much jewelry so much perfume you got on six inch heels you could see every piece of booty cheek just because it's so tight the dress or the skirt or whatever you can see all kind of cleavage like you're doing the most you're doing the most and it just looks unapproachable it looks unapproachable it looked like you're a night walker a street worker and like you know an escort looking for a sugar daddy i just hate to tell you that and so you want to tone it down a little bit so it don't look like you trying too hard like you doing the most you want to look comfortable in your own skin you see what i mean and that right there is going to be the key because a real man he want a woman that's cute and classy and comfortable in her own skin so what this says is she could tone it all the way down and be chill with ponytail and sweat or if she go from where she he where she at right now and she want to get all the way jazzy for a formal gala she could do that and she gonna look bam boy she's gonna look amazing cause if she if she look put together right here and she's just on this little middle level and and with this outfit this outfit kind of mid way when she got to put on that night that that uh evening gown for the foundation event the fundraiser that the black dress she finna be whoo you hear me and so it leads some to the imagination and that's where you want to be at and it's the dumbest topic in the world oh my goodness y'all got to understand what y'all question y'all be asking me oh my goodness i might produce my own reality show going around the country with y'all doing makeovers so y'all stay tuned when i start the casting and you want to do makeovers cause i'm gonna show y'all cuz see a lot of times you don't understand perception and so you ready for your husband you're looking for your husband but you said i mean if you're looking like cinderella with no ball or you looking like who shot john then it's just like okay you got to understand perception you feel me and that's not easy all the time especially in this day and age where everything's changing at the core you need to be yourself but sometimes honestly you got to be better than yourself like look what my wife had to deal with when she met me nah yes we both was kind of hood so it worked out and we grew out of that hood mentality we grew out of that but it's like a lot of times i'm dealing with people and i'm meeting people and the man or the woman literally still wearing the same outfits from the 90s the style that was in in the 90s in the early 2000s and it's like listen it's 20 21. now we've got different kind of style like that that look that little hairdo with the little curl on the little bump under come on now my mama used to wear that in 95 like we got the we got the experiment a little bit okay can we get some sister locks in there can we get some faux locs sometime can we get some you know do the micros the micros that's timeless that's been around forever but let's do the micros you see what i mean like okay all right like let's try a few different little looks let's try a few looks and let's let's you know let's not do so much of the floral print everything don't have to be flowers you know the dress the shirt everything got to be flowers everything got to be no colorful pattern you know you just go you can wear a solid purple shirt teal turquoise usually it'll meet yellow with some jeans and let's mix it up you see what i mean you don't have to wear and when it come to the shoes let's let's you know let's spend a little bit of money you know spend a hundred dollars invest in yourself and get you a nice little pound nikes go to foot locker and ask them hey what's some new nice nikes that are popular you know that look good instead of wearing uh the orthopedic shoes that the people that steak and shake got to wear the work the the solid black shoes everything black and your foot go to lean in the one side of the shoe and the shoes start to look lopsided and and it looks like you work on that greasy flow where your feet slide at dentists and everybody's sliding them black shoes like that's not we want to stay away from that and yes they comfortable yes they're comfortable but it's nice chic modern nice looking nikes or adidas that it just accentuates your ankle bone it gives you a little more ankle bone it let make you look a little more athletic in the foot you see what i mean and so it's just a little stuff like that to where you don't look too much like your auntie or too much like your grandma too much like your mama and so you could come through you could shine through and i'd have met a lot of people that has got a great heart a great spirit just would make an amazing wife but a diamond in a brown bag or get overlooked or get passed by for the cubic zarconia in the tiffany's box and so if you dress just like your grandma because your grandma raised you come on now come on now i'm trying to help you i'm trying to help you like it's okay to go to the store and ask the worker like what's in like what's the trend right now like what what's a nice outfit because i'm not that fashion savvy and guess what when they put you in that this the thing what you gotta ask yourself do i got booty hanging out do i got breasts hanging out if the answer is no and they say this outfit is a nice outfit this is our latest style this just came in get the outfit get the outfit because y'all be in there trying it on and then you'll be i really don't like it i really don't feel confident i really don't i don't know about this i do not know like this how y'all dress look she got she got a man she got a man and she cuba zarconia but she packaged herself correctly you a diamond but you keep putting on that brown bag outfit and so you keep putting on that brown bag outfit and it's like listen that latest thrift shop outfit it's just not the look it's just not the look and so a lot and so this is the key right here that is very ignorant this is very ignorant what i'm telling you right now this is absolutely absurd this is why are we having this conversation but this is the day we end this what has come to and i apologize about that i hate that we hear i hate that we hear but this is one true thing is that men are visual creatures so you could be a diamond all day long but if you're in a brown bag he's not going to think you worth anything but if you if you if you're a diamond and you're in a tiff in this box he'll overpay and so what i mean by that is he going to recognize you he oh man that outfit look good nice jeans nice blazer you know nice shirt night pal nikes right now i need them nice hey where you ain't excuse me where'd you get them shoes that's how you gonna open up the conversation where'd you get them shoes from hey i love your shoes oh thank you thank you i love your shoes uh well i love your shoes too but you know see what shoes is in style that right there that's a conversation piece right now right there that's a conversation starter he that's how he didn't open up so yeah let me ask you where did you get that from what store you go to oh wow okay do you live in the area oh okay so you're right because i i rarely see women with dunks on you know that that's that's real dope i like when you put that outfit together hey you know what you wouldn't happen to be single would you yeah i'm saying no i'm saying well hey do would you mind if i get your phone number and reach out to you so we can continue this conversation i see your sneaker head i'ma sneak ahead oh what yeah okay hit on my number just like that just because you prepare the video got you prepared now you position you downtown you you you at the you you in um hyde park uh waldorf or whatever y'all call it your little downtown area the lakes okay you down there and then you sit on the bench right there they got benches out there you on the bench and you got your little cupcake or you got your little smoothie and you and now when you sitting down right there you could scroll on your instagram you know but you kind of looking up the phone is here but you kind of looking up you know you scrolling the phone high you not like this bent all over the phone kind of sitting a little high and you scroll and clean content you know so a man don't mind approaching it in he might sit on the bench next to you in fact like he's sitting uh the you know the check somebody on his phone and then but he see them dunks on your feet and here we go wait a minute what did what did he say donkey i said dunks d-u-n-k-s he see them on your feet so now he see you got some jeans on and he see that you don't you not wearing bell bottoms see the jeans with with all that's all wide and it go all the way down you can't see your shoe no he see that you got on jeans that is form fitting down your calf tight form fitting on your ankle and it gone into into your shoe so he could see your calf muscle and he could see your nice nikes you got on your your vapor max or your dumps or your ultra boost from adidas you see what i mean he could see all your yeezys he liked that shoe game it just represents style i'm up i'm up on things you know and i'm paying attention and then here you go here y'all go in the comments you ain't got how the latest you ain't gotta have a late it ain't about the latest it ain't it ain't about spending all that money [Music] but you don't hear on my video but you want to argue with me you on here single as a dollar bill and you want to keep arguing all right since you know it all what you want here for since you know it all why is you on here on the video this for the people who trying to hear a different perspective because they understand they not know man and that they don't know it all and that what they've been trying it ain't been working and i'm gonna tell you one time i'm coaching a client and i say listen she's single and she ready she's single and she ready her body not where she wanted to be you know she she 20 pounds you know over where she want to be but she working on that and we talking about her business working on her business but she also want a relationship and i told her i say listen you're working on your business you're working on your uh i can't remember if she was a event planner i think she was event planner she was either event planner or a travel agent something like that and i said so you're working on your business and every single saturday you're working on your business i said instead of working on your business at home go to starbucks and work on your business and you sit at starbucks and you work on your business sit at a table sit at a table and you work on your business at starbucks and she said okay i'm gonna try that you know what i didn't really think about that i'm gonna try that so she went into our books and in our next coaching session that next week she said tony you will not believe this she say i'm sitting in starbucks and this man came and sat beside me and she's like i'm sitting there and i'm i'm i'm like oh my goodness what in the world is going on why this man sitting right he's trying to hack my computer so she's like i close my computer and nestle oh man he probably still could get in my computer let me get up out of here should i get ready to go see like i had not looked up i had not looked his way she i kind of could see him out of peripheral my eye and she said i finally look up and when she say i and she said tony i tell you this man look good and she said as soon as i went to get up i kind of was like almost hit his stuff and then he said to me hey how are you uh excuse me i'm sorry my way and she's like no no you fine i'm just you know just moving that way i'm done working today oh okay do you come up here often um yeah yeah i'm up here working all the time you know okay well what do you say you know could i have your phone number maybe we could keep in touch because i'm up here you up here and she said tony he asked me for my phone number i gave him my phone i met a man on the first day i'm sending starbucks working and i was like uh-huh see that and the reason why i hit her with that is because my graphic designer was taking his butt to starbucks every day and he was saying less a dollar bill he's ready to meet him a woman and he was at starbucks all the time a good guy and then the other guys i knew they was who's single they at starbucks all the time starbucks send me a check nah y'all somebody working start with corporate office tell them on here marketing the business simo check and so it could be a it don't have to be startled it could be any internet cafe because i'm going to tell you a single man who got his head on straight and he ready he has a schedule he got a schedule and he driven he focused he trying to make as much money as he can he trying to get his body as nice as he can get it and he want to stay out of the house he don't want to be in a house he literally would go down to buffalo wild wings and sit at the bar and watch the fight or watch the game by himself and have him a few drinks and have him some wings by himself if he especially if he locked in and he focused just on his life because he might not have a homeboy like my mentee that lived here he don't have any homeboys here he literally moved here by himself by himself he go out by himself he'd treat himself out he'd literally get dressed and take himself out to eat and go out eat i'm like wow what are you real bold you just out here walking around just by yourself eating but guess what he meeting people he meeting people and he got to the point one of the guys he got to the point he he got on online dating he got on online day and y'all know i'm like that online dating nine he was probably one out of a million and he now he's an actually good guy he got on online dating but listen uh that i'm not condoning online date because he just one person it's a million men on there he one person and he got off of there quickly though he got off there quickly let me tell you something let me tell you what he told me he said he got on online dating he said he met this young lady he met this young lady and she was a nice young lady and he said she was pretty and you know he reached out to her on there they connected they talked and they went on a date they went on a date but his his vehicle was like a is like a van like a work van that he work in that he work out of he owned his own business but his vehicle was a van and you know like when you do whatever type of construction or whatever type of work you know and you own your business but your stuff is in in your van like the man who come wash my cars he got a van look look little white van that he have and he got a little umbrella that he take out of there he's standing up just for some shade i don't know what the umbrella buy but that is a that van make him money and just like the gentleman i'm telling you about his van make him money but unfortunately because of all the trafficking going on the van's got a bad name the van's got a bad route okay so he uh he told the young lady or what have you and then he said that he said that she said to him [Music] um oh so i see you look um your van um [Music] so um why do you drop that little creepy van and i remember talking to my wife about it and she was like yeah i don't think i'd be able to do it either that van is creepy and i'm like what in the world like ladies y'all making it too hard like you making it too hard like this is an amazing guy now see now that i'm telling you about them i'll be getting all these messages oh yeah can you introduce me to the guy you said i don't worry about no van yeah you say that because i'm telling you he's amazing but if you met him on your own on online day you know if you met him out in the back and then you see he drive a van you see he drive a white van you'll be judging him you'll be judging him so so night don't count no i can't connect you with them because yes he's still single but no i can't connect you with him and and and no i can't do that if you meet him out in the back where he will he go to work at his starbucks okay you gonna meet them but no i can't do no matchmaking because you might be crazy i don't know you you might be crazy i might know you but i only know you're in a professional way so you might be crazy so no i can't do no matchmaking no more i don't retire but listen the young man amazing young man you know what the young man told me he said he went on a date with the young lady they had a great conversation he paid for the date and she made a little joke about his van and he said bro do you know the woman ghosted me she ghosted me i was like wow and and and this young man you know he um he fit you know saying muscular you know he not uh i don't know what a good looking man looked like but i know what a ugly man looked like i know what well i really don't know ugly but just based on societal standards he not ugly you know what i mean i don't know if you look handsome to a woman but i've heard that i've heard women say like women who know me and women who see him like oh hey that's a good looking young man you know that's a good look hey tony who is that don't worry about it but he say the woman goes to them i said wow i'm like he wills you own your own business making your own money you live by yourself you got no kids you never been married you're a man of god [Music] take care of your body take care your skin take care of your hand nails and the woman ghosted you what in the world is she looking for what do she think she's gonna find out here cause i'm telling you as a man it ain't finna get no better than the young man i'm talking about and these several young men that i'm talking about that i meet that they can't meet no woman because women saying they want a certain thing but then when he right in front of your face you don't even recognize and realize it because truthfully you judge him based on housewives standards do he drive a range rover can he buy me a loyal baton purse and then until somebody like me open my mouth [Music] and stamp these young man then oh can you can you introduce me to a great young man no because now you got my stamp so now you finna get over the fact that [Music] his car might be 10 years old or he might drive a van or his truck might need a paint job or you know he might tuck his shirt in his pants a little tight or you know he'd like to have a shirt tucked in with a belt on you know now you looking past that because you got somebody stamped but if you just happen to meet him you wouldn't judge him by his character you judging by hi hi swaggy you know how much money he got how much he finished spending how much money he showed the men could have a bank account full of money but because he don't show it all he getting judged by women who say they ready to get married by women who say they're ready for a man and so this is the thing so you also when you say you single and you want you want to go somewhere you want to meet you a good man you want to meet a good single man you got to be open when you meet him and you got to understand that he's not going to be your fantasy he's not going to be what you dreamt about since 10 years old he's not going to be you know what you've seen on tv he's not gonna be what you see when you look at a married man on youtube talking he's not gonna resemble you know and be just like me or be just like this other married man you watch on youtube but this other married man that's at the church preaching because it took us years to be developed it took us years in marriage to grow to mature to change a lot of us was absolute dogs the worst of the worst but i'm meeting so many single men who they are 10 times better than i was when i was their age and women will look at a man that's you know polished and worked on himself and got a mindset and say oh i want a man like that and then you'll meet a man who he really is better where he at as a single man then those of us who teaching were when we was out there single but you'll misjudge it because you judging you comparing apples to oranges so i hear women say that all the time tony is there a man who think like you look i've been married 14 years my wife don't play the radio i've been whipped into shape so the men that's out there yes they're going to evolve in their thinking they're going to grow in their thinking but you're going to be the catalyst by you shutting stuff down that should not be going on that's going to push them into purpose that's going to take them to that next level but you you got to see are they just good man like is he a good man he ain't got to be perfect he got to say and agree with everything that a relationship coach says on youtube he don't have to he don't have to be a spitting image of your pastor of your daddy because the man had to go through a process so you got to ask yourself you know it does he got a good foundation like is he headed the right direction based on who he is and where he's at right now and so that's what you got to understand and this is a tough conversation it's hard it's hard to say it's hard hard to hear and a lot of times women feel like oh we i got to do too much work you asking too much of me it's too much why i got to do all this why i got to do all that listen you know sometimes things take drastic measures so if that mean evaluating the way you dress if that means creating a outing schedule you know to where [Music] on friday night you go down here to this downtown area from 6 p.m to 9 00 p.m on saturday morning um you go to the gym at 7 00 am and then you shower at the gym change your clothes you go to starbucks you know from 9am to noon and then at noon you you pack up your stuff and you know you you eat lunch at starbucks or you go you shoot to the mall and you walk through the mall around the mall from 12 1 and then you sit down in the full court from one to two and then you go back home it's like you out of the house you you you able to be seen you're out of the house and you're able to be seen and then on sunday you know you go to church at the church you go to the mall or you go down to the to the downtown area to the shops and all of that you sit down you have you something to eat you walk around you sit on the bench a little bit and then by four o'clock you go home and so you create you a schedule so you out of the house and then you find you a gym you find the best gym i'm gonna tell you now this is an investment that you're making yourself but i go to a gym called lifetime now i'm not talking about uh lifestyle i'm not talking about 24-hour fitness i'm not talking about planet fitness lifetime it's a lifetime athletics for a single membership it's probably like 150 dollars it might be 180 dollars that's what you want to get into now if you don't live in a city that got that god bless you you might need to think about moving cities because you're in that little po dunk city you in god bless you i see why you ain't met nobody in that one-stop-like city everybody know everybody middle name well uh where mary jane ellis at how's she doing hey now ain't you uh elaine daughter now what about your your auntie uh joanne how she doing okay it's good to see you yeah you know i know your whole family that's the kind of city you live in that's why you single that's why you saying ain't nobody there ain't nobody there you gotta get to a real city if you ain't got a lifetime gym within 30 minutes you're in wrong city you know you you're in the wrong area it's gonna be harder now yes you can stay there and you can meet you somebody somebody move in and they they move in and they in a nicholas sparks movie and they happen to be there for nicholas sparks book he writing and they the main character in your little city and they are refuge from somewhere else that they you know running away from and they want to restart their life and they and y'all meet at y'all one stop light and y'all hit it off right there at the crosswalk crossing the one stop light road and okay boom and nicholas bart's got y'all in his next movie okay yes that's possible but not on 10 times no that's not going to happen you need to get into a real city we need to get to a real city okay we got a lifetime in my city now let me tell you about lifetime hey lifetime send me a check one of y'all work at lifetime court symmetry so now with lifetime you go in there [Music] and some of them got a basketball court some of them got a pool nah lifestyle fitness got this too but lifestyle fitness may be 30 or 70 a month so what that mean is you're gonna have all kind of people there you're gonna have all kind of people but see at lifetime it's more exclusive when you go in lifetime and i got one of my one of my guys who's single i got him in the lifetime he had lifetime and when you go on lifetime oh yeah it's high it's high class in there they got a sauna they got the steam room they showers nicer than your shower at your house they got them nice big lockers and they got every workout machine they got all the classes they got yoga they got pilates they got zumba they got this they got that they got that got all the classes and it's exclusive they got a cafe so you literally could go in there you could do your workout you could go take you a good shower you could blow dry your half you got that kind of hairdo blow dry your hair no before your after your workout you could sit in this in the sauna 10 20 minutes burn some more off for you you could get in the jacuzzi they got the jacuzzi they got the steam room you could do the whole circuit then get in your shower get you in the shower then when you leave out the shower they got the cafe go get you a nice protein lunch then if you work from home you ain't got to go home you could go right to the business center that's right in there and you could sit in there and do your work and guess who is floating all through the single men who got a bag on them making six figures or more at lifetime the men that's in there made six figures or more and with that six figures someone gonna be trash but with that six figures to reach six figures you gotta have a mindset your mindset got to be ambitious you gotta have discipline you gotta have focus and you got to have ambition you don't have to have character to just get the six figures you got to have character so you might meet you one he ain't got no character you're gonna figure that out in the first few weeks so you going about your business uh this is not gonna work out this ain't gonna work out and and in the gym this is where it's a place it's okay to wear your leggings you know you don't look like a loose booty with your leggings on at the gym because those workout pants and so that's that's totally different you can even have your little mid drill how you little sports bra with your leggings and you still don't look like you loose because it's the gym you see what i mean or you could be fully clothed you know you can have your birkin on what you call that thing you're parker or not your parker you the the thing what the muslim women wealth you can have on your whole attire if you muslim or if you're not muslim and you still wear full all attire that's totally fine that's totally fine too and me and my wife was in the maldives lady snorkeling in the whole attire because she muslim so they had she had on the muslim swimsuit and i was like wow that's pretty you know pretty cool even going swimming she ain't having no two-piece no one piece you have no on the muslim swimsuit and i'm like man that's pretty cool i told my wife i'm like man i like my outfits that they be wearing now so it really don't matter what you got on you ain't got to be showing everything you got to be flaunting everything that's you could be fully clothed but you in a stable you in a position where you sitting in the cafe it's easy to approach you you sitting in the in the business room it's easy to approach you and hanging out right there he didn't see you enough bending over doing your squats and doing all your workouts so he didn't see you working on he didn't got him an eye full now you position in other places he get approaching so listen now this is a whole dissertation now there's a whole dissertation on it somebody give me my doctorate somebody you work out that a schoolhouse give my daughter so listen this whole dissertation on how where to go to meet a good man share this video with your single friend because it's real this real and when you go out one of these places on your routine for a month two months three months and all these different men approaching you and you finally meet your husband invite me to the wedding i may or might i may or may not be though god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 38,828

Rating: 4.9560761 out of 5

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Id: 9J7BGZCuhuk

Length: 59min 51sec (3591 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 07 2021