ALL OF r/TIHI

[Music] welcome back to the tonight show starring jimmy fallon our first guest tonight is a man who has no skin but cannot die his condition is confounded doctors and priests alike so what's it like having no skin jimmy my every moment is agony that is great english recipes 250 grams of flour 100 grams of butter 100 grams of sugar 60 milliliters of milk and one egg american recipes 12 quarter cups of flour 19 small sticks of butter 43 thimbles of sugar three utter squeezes of milk one unwrapping feather baby what a baboon would look like if we interpreted its appearance from its bones like we do for dinosaurs ever wonder why girls don't go to the bathroom alone well well what i already knew this i have needs now alfred dirty horrible needs what the hell are you talking about batman what's your problem bearded men looking straight up to reveal their underbeard faces i absolutely do not endorse this trend at all please don't do it guy on the left looks like beaker with no eyes well that's something i absolutely didn't need to see today but i saw it anyway because it's my job billy nilish that's it that's all i've got to say what was once lost can never truly be found again i'm broken inside papa new bubble wrap will no longer pop when you squeeze it what kind of [ __ ] is this huh who do you think you are pick a card dad to my son i leave the queen of hearts oh damn how the hell did he do that i've never understood why people are so against putting water and cereal i mean it's basically the same as milk or orange juice they all go great with cereal especially at once and people also insist on pouring the liquid on last can't a guy pour it on the plate while he's eating no a knife i take it you also like cereal i didn't know that linguine and the rat had a child well you know now it's just up to you what you're gonna do with this information mr clean let's upgrade him a little bit mr ethnic cleansing oh no no no no no go back go back we're not doing this again man this guy is smarter than everybody else in the world how the hell do you even think of stuff like this he's a freaking genius god another monday nothing worse than a monday huh mrs cow someone ate my mom mondays am i right this is terrible who lives in a crack house and snorts ecstasy that's right you know who it is y'all ate strawberries without the crust or is it just me it's definitely just you or at least i hope to god it's just you i wonder how mike wazowski be crying i'm gonna go with the one on the right it just seems to make a lot more sense i've seen people debating on if dinosaurs are scaly or feathery but i've never seen people suggesting dinosaurs with human skin and hair i can see why we don't suggest that now thank you very much you freak my parents did not social distance march 2021 oh man i cannot wait for this year to be over not that the next year's necessarily going to be better i just can't wait for this one to be over i'm so sick and tired of the 2020 bull crap my dog accidentally ate my edible wall that mofo looked like everything except a dog that is incredibly true what the hell was it what did you do to this poor animal are you lost i have something special for little kids like you if you knock over all the bottles from the stand you will win all of these dolls as friends forever okay boom oh no oh i see just pulled the door handle off safe to say the fire was as surprised as i was oh god okay i absolutely did not need to see that who put this in here i hate you all i want for christmas are my two front teeth later i'm sorry dinky but the boy wants teeth and he's been a very good boy congratulations he has his father's eyes babysitting tonight we were both peacefully drawing went to the bathroom for 30 seconds i drew her a new face is there a problem here i think it looks fantastic you should put it up on the fridge look that's kyle isn't it yeah i don't really get that creep what's he doing oh milady's feet don't mind if i do the next morning damn it why is it always the feet map of the planet if you are fish well i can't dispute that i suppose imagine if there was a fish that could climb up your piss stream and enter your urethra and couldn't be removed without cutting your penis open oh wait it exists yeah protect yourself people just a reminder that furbies have forward-facing eyes a key indicator of being a predatory creature you know i never thought about that and now that's gonna be all i can think about so thank you when they say your future is bright are those light bulbs jeez the world will never cease to amaze me well i am absolutely disgusted i don't have tripophobia but i can guarantee you if i did i would have screamed very very loud oh i can kind of feel it deep within my soul actually i hope you strapped grandma down nice and tight cause it's gonna get bumpy right right no no no oh my god how can you make the powerpuff girls that much scarier aren't they really really really messed up looking in their world too why'd you have to do this hate the look of helmets but still want to be safe for a limited time you can have your whole head printed on your helmet call now oh my god it's like big head and g-mod it's terrifying everything reminds me of her when the anime character gonna go insane the camera angle oh my god that's so accurate and i hate that shot even more now the statue of jesus in poland provides internet to nearby villages how many people have watched porn broadcasted from jesus's head at least one come on at least one guy has done it somebody pointed out that wolverine is really just two batman's kissing and i can't stop thinking about it oh now i can't stop thinking about it god i hate you guys all right what exactly is when you photoshop donald trump's lips onto his eyes he literally looks the same holy [ __ ] he really does look identical what the hell some might even call it a slight improvement okay we got oh i see where this is going yep there it is son of a [ __ ] god how can you make crocs any worse and yes i am including the goth crocs in that question late night munchies your belly just can't resist bacon mac and cheese pizza maple glazed pelvis sun-dried alaskan teenager my stepdad's car keys jupiter kentucky fried bipetal bluefin pine to forsaken souls all of which can be found at your local ben jerry's oh my god how hard did you hit that man the spring in his neck is gonna break funnily enough that looks like me whenever i look down at my phone my nipples in the privacy of my own home my nipples in public look they just want to come out and say hello too you know cuties oh absolutely not i'm absolutely not going to give this any more light than it's already gotten hopefully it goes away forever and netflix dies i don't know just disgusting come on down to kerberbing for a limited time to get a free ice cold can of peebus blerk hey come on obama wasn't that scary i mean he had an imposing figure but you're just overreacting kid 30 crazy ideas for your party oh drill a hole in the hot dog and use it to drink some milk look at you go crazy idiot [ __ ] baby person pickleback how the hell did you find a way to make nickelback worse well there it is i cannot believe it the most disturbing thing in this entire threaded images this has got to be the worst guys why are you freaking out that's amazing it's gotta be pulling some kind of world record with that one you should not be crying like a baby when you're witnessing such beautiful acts when you get your way but you're still pissed me a lot way more often than it should be just when you thought the pretty princesses couldn't get any prettier absolutely fantastic you know i was really really hungover yesterday and i wondered if there was an image out there that could perfectly describe my feeling well here we go i feel better now but this is exactly how i felt all day well okay then yeah all right and so it begins pumpkin spice scented ooh no no no we're not doing scented masks absolutely not that is where i draw the line i was from a small town where the sheep outnumbered the people and they slaughtered everyone i ever knew enough about me what brings you here i'm i'm so sorry i'm here to finish what we started god guy just can't catch a break i don't know what's more disturbing the fact that this happened or the fact that somebody thought i'm gonna do that today fyi foot skin can be rolled into a joint no no it can't you shut your mouth fleshly fried skin bee oh you bought that i'm in this image and i don't like it well would you look at that the slaw avengers ah god damn it i thought we already had a version of the avengers like that wasn't there a bear with a minigun at some point the planet is not an ashtray you know what you're absolutely correct and i find it quite disgusting that we consider throwing cigarette butts wherever we want to be completely normal and socially acceptable what in the world is wrong with that animal the hell happened snoop cat is it okay it's high that wasn't the question the more you watch the more snoop dogs will appear my god he's everywhere he's everywhere and yet he's nowhere spiders don't have muscles in their legs they move them by using a hydraulic system powered by their blood pressure when they die their legs curl up because the blood pressure is gone so every spider is basically just eight walking boners peter parker asleep in bed spider congregation humming hymns priest spider we bring a sacrifice to the great one they toss a virgin spider into peter's open mouth you didn't have to say all that you really didn't you put a lot of effort into it but you really didn't have to okay god damn it i'm so mad nothing tastes better than a well done steak with ketchup oh i'm gonna lose it i'm gonna lose it guys okay looks pretty cool oh i don't think that that was its intended use but you do you i guess here's the full story yeah i'm still not interested though oh wait a minute oh no i'm gripped hold on what no oh man you got played sucker so you're saying these two are an extra excellent source of sunshine look at their smiles you know i've seen this so many times it's just normal now i don't really see anything out of the ordinary whatsoever oh yes we call that the cinnamon swirl no we don't we absolutely don't call it that we call it crazy you like heaven don't you mommy ooh ooh it's real no no no the dragon with the girl tattoo i'd give it a read i'm kind of curious as a matter of fact if it is a real book and someone sends it to me i'll put up a video of me reading the entire god damn thing okay understandable they all look good to me you can really interchange between all of these with no issue that mask nah because i'm enjoying being ugly and in peace right now dude absolutely same having a mask that obscures most of my face is doing real wonders for me okay my a picture of i have sent you open it you may yes kidding i am unless yeah i'm not gonna do a yoda impression so don't even russia after injecting the wrong vaccine wait what you boys want a taste of my whap my warm apple pie i'm good oh good old spider-man doing what spider-man does i love peeing off the top of buildings jesus christ been working on the old photoshop skills hit us up and we'll spice up your profile pic raises hand ooh wendy cheese shoot it now please isn't good old charles entertainment cheese a twitch streamer now well well well looks like the store i'm going to immediately walk back out of the utah werewolf 900 dollars you're out of your freaking mind me after working out but no girl likes me because i'm still ugly yeah please ring bell for ass sir i just wanted a sandwich i wrote code to unwrap my face that's kind of gnarly [Laughter] i'm not gonna lie to you that's sick i don't hate that i think that's super neat i would watch that video i'm gonna look that up later that's really cool so it turns out the facet works on paintings and uh oh hi i'm jesus i got a crown on my head you know i'm just i'm just so enthusiastic about it when you finally realize napoleon dynamite is actually taylor swift and dragon what are you gonna do about it that's right nothing uh mama op delete this now again i ask you what are you gonna do a true friend is someone who can make you laugh until thousands of bees fly out of your mouth what i imagine he laughs like and then she's just like bees [Laughter] bro it's kingpin that's actually a super solid cosplay too i can't imagine how heavy that is man wowie that's gotta be that's that's gotta be a strain on the back oh that's dope they rendered it into a 3d little ball he's a sad kitten ball oh don't roll him around he'll start crying for all you non-native english speakers out there red is pronounced like lead and read as pronounced like lead you're welcome i'm the life advice lamp [Laughter] yo word so no one can see in it no it's it's reflective on the on the outside but on the inside it's see-through you just know someone's done some freaky stuff in that bathroom i just know that someone with a with a voyeur fetish is just absolutely oh goodness gracious someone who's like oh i want to be an exhibitionist but no one can see me like i just oh gross yucky yucky yucky [Laughter] one day we're gonna have to watch an ad before we can answer the phone and you know what i'm excited for the future oh goodness gracious bro did you fall asleep in a tub what happened you fall asleep at the pool your fingers are pruned and no end isn't it isn't it something like our fingers prune up so we have better grip underwater or something like that like isn't this just like a smart tactic on our body it's really weird to look at but at the same time why do they do it like like why do they prune up like that you ever wonder huh weird weird stuff the human body is a funky thing and that's an eagle whose beak is a banana that entire bathroom is one big qr code scan it and you get the deed to the land hey it's a bean lamp i've seen this image somewhere before i don't understand the fascination with beans but i do respect it beef jerky is just a cow raisin you know it's fair enough it's dried and uh you know all the moisture's taken out yeah like a race and i honestly i agree with that statement but i would never buy a bag that says cow raisins oh man i would not [Music] jack links cow raisins 20 20 20 25 2050 and 2060 the entire car is just the grills yum i'm not saying the punctuation is wrong i'm saying i hope it's wrong oh boy syrup yummy yummy yummy raises my testosterone levels and with that boy syrup why not a little bit of bread juice you can get sourdough croissant or pumpernickel it's your choice hey you ever wonder how a camel was made well there you go just completely human centipede to that ostrich didn't you about uh didn't you buddy i don't know what kind of carrot that is but it's definitely not one i would eat it looks like uh the the thing infected that carrot and now it's a just a practical effects monstrosity i really be feeling like this cat sometimes just say what do you want this is when someone interrupts his hardcore gaming session he's like what now let's play halo why'd you offer me clean's better i really hope it cleans better because i'm gonna make a mess oh when you ask me if i have change this is how i get it out of my my wallet it comes out of my eye hey damn you got any change hey yeah give me a second and then uh just i just widen my eyes and you see change fall out of it listen a cough is just a crunchy breath and a yawn is just a boneless cuff don't get it twisted that little hermit crab's got a new home hermit crabs are the grossest looking animals dude like i'm sure there's grosser looking ones but look at it it's all like dark purple like a plum and spindly crabs are just water spiders okay crabs are water spiders and you can't change my mind when you get all the crumbs out of your keyboard after cleaning it do you prefer to mix them with ketchup or horseradish before you eat them i'd prefer if you didn't tweet that steel series that's why i don't buy your products i love how simba acts upset when mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called i just can't wait to be king well stork wouldn't you be sad too if you uh if your dad died because simba and mufasa is dead you can want to be king but wait until you're appropriately next in line not when your dad just abruptly dies that's right oh no maybe you're just a negative nancy in a positive pat world thanks i hate old diving suits no i think this stuff is cool i love this because you have to think about it this is what we used to use like someone was in that i think that's super neat i love that kind of stuff you cannot rest here have you ever played a video game where you have to sleep to recover the only let you do it if everything is safe otherwise they won't let you sleep you'll get a message saying you cannot sleep now there are monsters nearby now remember the last time you just couldn't get to sleep i do don't you freaking do this to me all aboard the nope trying to screw that ville accepting all passengers [Laughter] oh look at that little dog he's nice he's a he's a cool guy would you like to pet my dog she's like a daughter to me no thanks i'm good know the difference hot dog hot dog i don't want to say that ever again [Laughter] is that blumping obama blump of course black trump obama's white obama seeing obama with a you know a chat haircut like that really throws me off this is how water sees you when you're drinking water is that really how you look when you drink water bro that's kind of weird i'm not gonna lie hey a duck with an assortment of hats oh wait just a minute that's a he is a hat okay all right okay all right [Laughter] bro's treating his hair like a helmet that's kind of funny i'm not gonna lie all right show me what you guys okay so it's a fish oh he's just gonna go ham on that centipede huh bro no time at all either this is a puffer fish oh dude just slurped him like a pasta noodle wow going after a scorpion now this is ridiculous and now a snake don't you dare now that's a pasta noodle slurp just like mama used to make breathing manually blinking manually feeling your toes touching seeing your nose feeling your clothes feeling your tongue in your mouth i'm not bothered by this i've seen this too many times and i don't think about this kind of stuff that's what my tongue looks like i'll see the problem here officer if animals had forward-facing eyes they would look like that he looks like he's judging me dude i don't like that hey woah what's this camp wayne camp wayne multiplayer profiles settings credits quit also is that earth just stretched around it is that part of the actual design i haven't played halo in forever that doesn't look right that looks png'd get that out of here you know it's not the fact that the teeth of the ice the fact that he's got like two teeth trying to grow into each other that's bothering me girlfriend cup noodle all right nice pour steamy hot water on her and then just slurp her up and she loves it she can't get enough of it i'm not gonna lie to you every time i see this image no matter how they do the meme i always wonder is it worth it to go find the full video because you can't just show me the image and not have me immediately question you know what happens i know what happens but is she a champ about it [Laughter] then the helicopter goes as it flies show me what you got buddy are you sweeping oh it's not real yeah it took me a second to realize as soon as these swept and the dog didn't move i was like oh that's that's uh it's not real hamburger helper don't ever ask to see his face take the glove off and you'll be in shock what do we got over here my man's oh he's got those are weird those are weird but really cool that is gnarly that is like some avant-garde type fashion is that the right word for it that's so that's so neat whoa asked a groomer to shave a heart on my dog's butt what i expected versus what i got nice going good job well it's another friday night and i'm beating the heat with my favorite non-alcoholic cocktail the mayanita how's your friday going well it was going really good until you showed me that it's not even friday yet it's it's uh it's tuesday and i already wish the week was over is that a flesh tone crash that's the cutest looking wiener dog ever he's got like known like it seems like he's a little stumpier than he should be but that's so cute look at him oh my god i have a dachshund oh man they're so cute when they're little is that mario wow yoshi [Music] [Laughter] so you take it a poo right you drop it into the bowl and when you drop it in poseidon himself [Music] [Laughter] my sister saying all her lego is gone my brother saying he has no idea where they went my mom wishing she never had children in me with 27 lego bricks up my butthole small parts please hey it's the council deciding my fate [Laughter] swimmers just before the water's surface tension is broken it's like they're in saran wrap that's so cool but what if the water just don't let you out one day well that's how atlantis came to be imagine kissing a dentist and their little devil tongue flicking around your mouth searching for cavities it's a profession for psychopaths karen i don't think they do that the longer i look at this picture the worse it gets oh no this one's just not this one's just not as well done as the uh full house of mustaches one like a lot of these are really really good i'd say the jennifer aniston one is probably the best looking you know faked one but everything else i'm just not impressed hey man it's been a long time how you doing me listen i need a favor don't fall for it yesterday my colleague called me a book murderer because i cut long books in half to make them more portable does anyone else do this or just me it is definitely just you dude that is the weirdest thing i've ever seen i mean the logic is kinda sound but it's not my favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is gonna be okay it is the least believable one out there let go of me dad you're making a mistake i'm sorry kid blue was the imposter dad when your card declines at the psychologist so they say psych and start roasting your insecurities when your car declines the maternity wing and they just start shoving it back in you know what in america i'm surprised they don't do that i took my googly eyes to work and decorated my co-workers photos on his desk yes i'm sure he very much appreciated that thank you so much uh um okay yes i understand did you know that dittos can blush this implies ditto has blood yes it does ditto has blood what are you gonna do with that information i just gotta know man what is wrong with people what is wrong with you people i have to know florida man claims he only drank at stoplights and not while driving i am smart kerchu drog yes it clearly is one she looks like she farted in the box and it finally hit her you know it really does makes you think huh sorry i've been watching too much toy story lately anything off the tr oh crap it's you again will take the lot oh my god you may like if you have toenail fungus do this immediately okay if your toenails look like that you need to go to the hospital immediately and have them do some surgery cause damn you need it bad god may as well just chop the toes off and start all over again oh my freaking god how do people do this so well if i had never seen these two before i'd believe this also fit mirror hand syndrome a rare syndrome with less than 100 cases in human history it's called ulnar demalia or demelia it's lego hand it's a lego hand disfigurement oh my god how would an alien wear a hat oh it's absolutely five it has to be five remember him this is him now dang i'd like to know his secrets whoo mushroom ketchup pictured right is an often used colonial seasoning was one of george washington's favorite meal supplements he began using the sauce during his military service it was particularly popular among 18th century troops and didn't include any tomatoes instead the ketchup was made of mushrooms anchovies and horseradish i mean i'll try it but i can almost guarantee you right now i'm not going to enjoy myself it's just like giving vegemite a try most people outside of australia aren't gonna like it two hours after informing the door lady of a piss-filled water bottle it still remained for sale wait a k-mart in australia how old is this dude mom dad why don't you just kill me too and so i don't get sued son so i don't get sued the legs godzilla king of legs oh look at them legs all right can't believe godzilla's one leggy boy father lengthy limbs praise be thy name everybody say a prayer to our great daddy of longleg gee whiz that sure is just awful i mean if you made it yourself congrats pretty awesome that you were able to do that but why why did you do that i've seen this pillow on and off for many many many many years and i want to know where i can get this pillow so you know what to do send me links to this pillow please what are we having today sir short back and sides and a number two on top i want to know what it looked like when he was putting that number two up there nutella in a slice form well i mean given what nutella is this wouldn't be too much more disgusting i've come to inform you that all the ancient greeks spelled thoth the egyptian deity as oh dear hey thanks now die thoth was the god of knowledge so it wouldn't be inappropriate to ask oh god don't like this post who else is ready for fall when these pests go back to hell where they belong [Laughter] remember kevin mcallister could have phoned the police at any time he was a child who had been accidentally left alone one call and he would have been safe but it was never about safety he was hunting those men he wanted them to die it was fun for him he enjoyed it i would have hated this brand a lot less if this is what it was really like disney movies when i was a kid disney remakes i'd watch this remake i won't enjoy it just keep that in mind but i'll watch it trump i've tried the russian vaccine no side effects yes none at all jello and vodka i see where this is go okay i did not see where this was going i'm not happy not happy is there actually sims fan fiction like how do you do dialogue she turned to him tears traveling down her cheeks and whispered softly he will never look at her in the same way again oh jesus do not worry partygoers i have brought the dry salami this is the best thing i've ever witnessed we call our pets fur babies but do they think of us as skin parents i don't think they think of us at all where can i get this immediately i have no use for it but i need it it is a very burning need my favorite part of playing rock band was always the spiders that started living in your controllers when you left them unattended behind the tv for five years i know right if you ask subway will make it we shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request the tooth fairy i always wanted to know where do all the teeth you collect end up it makes no sense death by hundreds of children's bites but if you catch the tooth fairy she has to kill you is that a rule i didn't know about if i ever become a millionaire and i have spare rooms in my house which i will i'm gonna buy a big house there will be a bathroom that looks just like this that's right tony can be spelled as tony i freaking hate the english language me too it's pretty awful although i'd more likely pronounce that as toney yes ubisoft is an aerial shot of a poopy i'm glad you figured this out how right-handed people who upvote with one hand be like uh excuse me about 47 million years ago whales had legs and lived both on land and in the sea can you imagine a blue whale walking out of the water one day i sack newton wow that one's brilliant very well done wanna see a magic trick it's gone oh yep yeah you really have to choose your moments if you're in the middle ages don't do tricks sure sex is cool but have you ever farted so good your stomach ache disappears yes and it is everything people make it out to be glorious good boys waiting to enter the hospital rooms of sick children for animal therapy time 27 dogs with very important jobs who are doing their best to be good boys waiting on dem bones police in vietnam raided a used condom recycling plant where they found three hundred thousand dirty rubbers being washed dried and repacked before being shipped off to be sold again there's no way no there's no goddamn way i refuse to believe that's real no hey man what do you do for a living i wash used condoms trump's tongue looks like a scared alien that can't believe what the heck is going on oh jesus christ i'm never going to be able to unsee that now so thanks wait stop scrolling i just wanted to say the only acceptable birthday cake so when you blow out that candle you'll be killing that charmander happy birthday you stick you kill it and eat its body where do you think all the meat in the pokeverse comes from oh no oh no i think my entire life was just destroyed logan was standing on the body i was recording it for the vlog ah there he is good old logan paul oh why war it turns men into animals oh oh no oh god dang pandas are messed up dude i wish my crush lived with me honey please welcome your long-lost brother he will stay with us from today oh no oh you had to go open your big mouth why do you submerge ourselves in hydrogen oxide because it's fun fun fun yeah they all had a lot of fun for the rest of their lives the wish i wish my parents were superheroes mail delivery what oh it's funny because she cheated on her husband with the mailman why are they called daddy long legs not just long legs what's the daddy bit about one of them legs is not a leg daddy longs [Laughter] does it matter i don't eat this i always thought these were cool i don't hate this at all i think this is really neat it's like a mix and match i think this is cute i like it maybe i shouldn't but i do my girl made something incredibly cursed in the sims 4. oh god she made sans dog i mean when they don't give you sans in game sometimes you're just gonna improvise right me messes up in latin class the demon i just summoned hi there hi my new best friend john a demon be like leo and satan except you know not except not i'm a little tired everything's going to be funny to me i think i'm having a good time today oh jesus lord okay face pie is something i'm not messing with wow looks like a defect i am not into that at all i don't know how it feels like imagine you're coming home after a long day at work right in your your your sweets your significant other's like i made you a pie and the slide forward face pie do you eat do you say thanks honey i wouldn't i wouldn't i don't know about you no one aryana grande's children it's how she keeps a hold of them if they wander too far she grabs on the eight-foot ponytail because it's the way you going huh don't wander too far now ever wonder what a naked hedgehog looks like neither have i but apparently it looks like a depressed ball sack oh poor little guy you really do as well this is what my stuff be looking like sometimes on a bad day i look in the mirror celestia yo what if mosquitoes would like bees and gathered blood to take back to a hive where some kind of blood honey was made you seen a new rarity of blood i was in hot topic and this guy roared at my gf i bit my lip ring so he knew what was up and he bit his snake bites i got closer and bit my lip ring again he hissed and retreated to the banty aisle my gf better hoodie sleeve and meowed it appears i've won this battle i was never in the culture of uh like 2015 emo scenes i have no idea what any of this i was not in this culture i was a wrestling kid well you were at hot topic i was watching good old jr commentator match the blob paris zoo unveils unusual organism which can heal itself and has 720 sexes what a god amongst the land wish i could it has wolverine's power it can heal itself this is a cool organism this would be good for research you can figure out why you can heal itself we can just like try to take that same cell regeneration for people dude the bombs oh i do not like violet as bob see that in the back there i kind of don't mind the baby as bob but violet is bob just like something about it really just makes me sad when you walk in i've seen this meme it's just when you walk it what's wrong with that yo the chan mask collection it's a face mask just straight up huh no that's not a face mask um i don't know i feel about that chief if it's a face mask you know what more power to you but at the same time you've totally not gotten your eyebrows uh to safety your eyebrows are gonna be removed i'm sorry yeah my dude's got a chessboard on his head that's kind of clever though i would have never thought about that maybe because i'm not out of my mind i wonder what washing your hair is like at that point do you even wash your hair just imagine like i couldn't imagine waking up with that guy like waking up with someone with that hairstyle next to me i couldn't imagine how that would feel how i would feel as a human yo diglett's built he is a goddamn unit broad shoulder those traps are popped oh man whoa okay this is actually really gnarly this is cool this is this is like a real picture right this isn't 3d i hope not because this is really neat that's super cool i wonder how long it took to like actually make that's really cool you totally said you didn't like disposable plastic drinking straws we listened from 2019 all of our straws will be 100 egg hope you like egg straw your only two choices are plastic straw or egg straw bringing your own you're banned from our establishment you got eyelashes on your glasses what are you trying to fool people into thinking like what do you think are you gonna fool someone oh wow they have really pretty eyelashes what's on top of the glasses you're stupid i hate you i can't wrap my head around it and i hate it are you cutting eye holes into that pumpkin guy who's about to event jack-o'-lantern zips up pants uh yeah eyeholes that's what those are oh yeah no thanks i don't like that one bit chief oh i'll pass on this one i don't know what i hate more the chicken-eyed lady or the lady-eyed chicken cause the chicken's judging me the lady just wants my soul for her collection [Laughter] you move out of the way she's got somewhere to go she's got a place to be you ever see an image that makes you feel an emotion that doesn't exist i like this one just got plugged in the outlet this guy i gotta charge my phone dude dude is that the foot oh it's chewy flaky and delicious uh that was one word in every box sold free spicy pumpkins try one trick or treat don't fall for it that's not a pumpkin chief how many people you fooled that that's why that's what i want to know are these reverse heels i mean it's very clearly walking i don't know how i feel about this you know what do you king queen oh no hey this is ezra miller who started world war one gibby the american serial killer that was him i know it was him thanks i hate golbat with its mouth closed well what's so wrong with it's got a little buck teeth it's cute what's wrong with that there's nothing wrong with that at all he's a cute little goldback guy you know i don't know how i feel about that i like i don't like it but i also don't like it doesn't bother me i see it and i'm just like accepting that it's a reality [Laughter] hey what do you do for fun i like to go on amazon and zoom in on the halloween costumes speaking of halloween that's coming up what are you guys gonna be for halloween i don't know when this video is coming out it might come out before halloween but uh i am super pumped for halloween man am i pumped for halloween who is this he's going in whoever whoever this is they went in you can see the veins bulging dude be sagging though just a little bit it's like looking at like a empty beanbag chair dude hey check it out it's a blurs hot dog was that a slug i'm not sure what anna is that a leech i have no idea what i'm looking at there thanks i hate tapeworm heads this is just the pyro from tf2 what are you talking about dude this is the pyro he looks like an ice cream listen that's one ice cream you don't want to try buddy that is not a treat imagine running from the cops new here fetch me his soul lucifer and you look back and see this stuff full fear that is all i feel shivers running down my body yo oh no it's worse how did you not notice that while you were cooking it though i feel like it's more on you than anything else like that that's a baby bird yes but at the same time the eggs are starting to get cooked and you didn't notice this shame on you dude you'll never see the oreo zebra and think life is gonna be okay because me too dude we live laugh love in a society don't say that you combine the two worst things though we live in a society joke and live laugh love dr crowbar's lung extensions shh don't tell anyone i hand you to this cod with extended lungs you can scream longer breathe harder and brag about extended lungs this procedure is not legal but i'll do it for you do not tell the police or my family you can find me at extended lugs gmail.com i trust him in my life therapist detailed manny doesn't exist he can't hurt you detailed manny oh i exist in the original little mermaid novel the mermaid's legs constantly feel she is walking on sharp knives the prince likes to watch her dance which he does for him despite excruciating pain then he marries someone else and the mermaid kills herself what and that's the en that's in the original it's dark the krabby patty secret ingredient is crab meat mr krabs is a cannibal i found that out when i was younger because every menu item has the key ingredient in the name like the kelp drink you're telling me mr crass putting his meat in the formula not as meat have you ever noticed that he's the only crab in town oh god that's that's a prevailing theory i think that's a good i think that's a really good one i like that that's a good game theory oh is this real props or is this art like this is like 3d whoa i'm pretty sure i know who's like responsible for the actual art of this i think i've seen this guy's art before but wow if that's like real real props that's terrifying what is that what am i looking at is this a lemon is this mold what's going on i'm so confused i'm really having trouble figuring out what's happening here is this mold what is this i don't someone tell me what this is in the comments i want to say it's mold but i have like sorry i just moved my mic i just don't know what this is it can't be mold is this like art itself is this not a lemon is this just something that looks like a lemon what am i looking at where are we dropping ninja it's me guy fieri here with diners drive-ins and drops haunt drops fortnite you know fortnite holy crap what is dude what creature am i looking at what tremors monster is this dude imagine being in the ocean and that bite in your toe oh my god what are you doing to that poor creeper all i could think of is anal oh man [Laughter] sorry sorry that's not a good joke dog my little brother's pennywise halloween costume came in from wish it's just a morph suit the face just don't look right i think this actually makes it creepier with the face being on the morph suit not gonna lie to you your little brother's got a little bubble gut too he's got a beer gut this bird perch just stretching out his legs don't worry about it phineas and ferb hey this is like the realistic guy i like this stuff i think this stuff is really cool i think this stuff's super neat whoever makes this i forget his name but you do a good thing you do a good job i love your work whoever made the panties for the phone i don't like you i was telling um i was telling someone about this and like oh i like it and i'm like no no why would you like why would you like this of all things it's the most like aggressive phone accessories oh copiloo dude i love that cthupide whatever you want to call him he's delicious and he's omnipotent [Music] you ever see a bird like this you know they're working for the bourgeoisie baby whoa i've seen this before the sushi pizza no i've seen this around like you would think that i hate it but if you pick it up like pizza i don't see a problem so you can pick it up like pizza if you can't pick it up like pizza this is a you waste of time oh my god what happened to you is this a real human being what did you do to yourself oh my god your neck too oh my goodness your neck i can't look at you for too long dude plump sweet and begging for cream just how i lie just how i like my strawberries what are you doing to that baby it's not even old enough to walk in you're already licking on them stop stop oh let's hmm i don't know how i feel about that that's weird to look at but at the same time wait what is it no way they just like they didn't just remove the beak that is something that i'm looking at there i'm not sure what it is if you read the bible in a verse it's about the world's population killing each other until there's only two people left and then the woman pukes an apple and they both get naked now that's the version i wanted to read baby oh why did you give him human teeth oh it's the one thing he shouldn't have given him how deep does the rabbit hole go so deep bro speaking of rabbit holes that guy's in one raccoon crow that's not a real animal stop making up animals to put in your museum bro stop it it's not real dude it's not real those square cross sections of the human skin layers you always see in biology books but is like a minecraft block like this i hate it thanks hey lois i'm freaking realistic [Laughter] i love him it looks like an old he looks like a well to do dad ah the recursive centaur half horse half recursive centaur what oh no that's so many legs thanks i hate the reincarnation of mr potato head well what's so wrong about that's my best friend dude how dare you talk bad about him you think you're safe hey vsauce michael here do you ever feel like you're being watched at night and then the music kicks in oh no not just at meat burr no literally made his hair out of bacon that's really good that's funny cook it and see what happens dude i know you ain't showing me kim jong-un and donald trump suck at face like the new teenage lovers i know you ain't showing me that that's what they're showing i'm gonna vomit oh does someone have a golden egg oh look at you you're not a goose but i guess it's you i guess you could have it real fact number 790 your big toe only has two bones and the rest have three oh i didn't need to know that whoa tails oh you're carrying around some cake my boy we don't have food and we can't go out i have an idea oh dear oh oh come on why you gotta play the teletubbies like that i'm thinking about cosplaying tom nook do it don't this isn't just standard tangling this is advanced tangling how's this even possible smooth yoda yep there's god with his shotgun again and i agree with him this time loving my new bath bomb god dang it stop hellman's mayo nasal spray for when you're breathing a little too easy you like onions somehow he's even more gross looking than if they did it to any other member of the family from the show gwen is just ben with thick lips oh wow well i mean ben goddamn eyebrows though you have been visited by toothpaste man his motives are unknown well i feel like his motives would be to prevent tooth decay me if frodo fit the ring perfectly into his butt would he disappear or would his poop vanish temporarily as it passed through the target cashier when spotify tries to make me a daily mix yeah i really make it hard on spotify gee thank you uncle hernian i really appreciate this mug from the underworld my favorite pizza ever was the stuffed crest pizza from pizza hut clean them pearly whites while you enjoy some piping hot pizza hut goop holy crap it's toothless except the ocean version of him and he looks a little overcooked well i guess that's one way to think about it except that's not at all what's going on what is lucius saying to draco wrong answers only it's okay draco put the glass in your ass we all had to do it for lord voldemort he's into some weird crap but it's all part of being a death eater sign me right the hell up wtf do you want gandalf skedaddle skadoodle your staff is now a noodle ew gross bischetti had to be done it did need to be done and i'm so happy that i'm seeing it now man the local target bathroom got a lot meaner since i was last in there energy replenished so he put his charger in her plug gotcha oh it's nettles chess quick cheese milk now including 25 more cheese and still quite a bit of sugar artist yes i know what a horse looks like what do i look like an idiot if they made an obama voice pack mod for tf2 that just replaced all of the spy's lines i'd be playing that game every day plants i'ma wave my genitals in the air humans fragrant bees oh no man with bizarre horse fetish busted twice in 24 hours okay but did the cops catch him i hate that he looks like the farmer from sean the sheep oh man i can't watch that one ever again now who's been eating my watermelon was it you i'm not sure about this foot senpai don't worry i'm wearing protection ah that's how you know it's gonna be a good day smile wide my friend dude your phone is blowing up oh that's just stupid come on someone broke into my car last night nothing was stolen but they chewed all my gum and put it back in the container this is a hate crime i'll say it is if you think life is bad these are siamese brothers just one of them is gay and they got one butt oh no oh no no no no no record day of mosquito blood feeding 5 000 female mosquitoes fed and 16 milliliters of blood lost oh man how long after that happened did you take this picture because your arm is about to look scary when you try to bake a rainbow cake and it ends up looking like a unicorn's a-hole rommy still looks pretty good i know mate is looking pretty good mario and luigi holy cow they're staring right into my soul this is wrong oh god why call it blue balls when you could call it a [ __ ] ache are you serious what the hell is going on coming june 2020 shark goals of death a new movie from michael bay ew why would you do that you're supposed to use peanut butter when your doctor tells you that you need to increase your vitamin d intake and your whole instinct kicks in you can just lick sunlight also hey you know what time it is it's time to talk about that i funny watermark thanks i hate the earth's real shape whoa be a little more sensitive would ya i think the earth is beautiful no matter its shape millennials are treating pets like their firstborn child and it's reportedly causing problems for some of the best known pet food brands younger people are treating their pets like living breathing freaking animals and it's reportedly causing problems for some of the best-known pet food brands that have been selling garbage fillers that barely qualify as nutrition there fixed your crappy headline when couples do a photo shoot of their baby before it's a month old ah it's my baby picture dentists are just as scared of you as you are of them look at that hey man he-man pelvis pelvis pressly oh my god oh i wanna i wanna give a shout out to evolution real quick i wanna thank evolution for not doing this with any bird the eggs i laid in your stomach will soon hatch robert oh gary what the hell the four horsemen of horsemen and that bottom left one is gorgeous a casual reminder that the reason you all have allergies is treegasms i'm pollinating so hard any mods got the balls to explain themselves i second this i mean you can't enjoy deleting this and banning everyone doesn't it hurt can't at least some of you feel the shrivel of your souls this is the only way i can climb a hex okay actually i'm lying what's your favorite food me why why do these posts have to make me hate food you gave your guinea pigs bowl cuts across their entire bodies technically speaking crocs are made from a closed shell resin called crosslight this soft comfortable lightweight non-marking and odor-resistant foam gives crocs their unique texture although not advertised as edible crosslight is non-toxic meaning theoretically no harm should come to you if consumed man i'm gonna start munching on some crocks that is one beefy crab look at that guy he could probably lift my car that's pretty crafty i'm liking that oh yeah that is that's gonna be a no from me warner home video presents the part in the never-ending story where our tax dies on loop for three and a half hours coming soon to own on video cassette diary of a wimpy kid there was no candy oh god dang it lamborghini dreaming a day after five-year-old adrian stole his parents suv to drive to california to buy a lamborghini he gotta take a ride in one dang kid it's a bird it's a plane is it both it's both i hate it i had all this ground meat and i made a meat baby now no one wants to eat it and all the kids won't stop screaming i love how casual he is about that i had a lot of ground meat so i decided to make a meat baby omg someone's proposing seriously what could be worse what you know is actually going on or someone being proposed to while they're on the toilet in a public restroom how it feels to chew five gum stimulate your senses oh honey honey please not today can you stop biting my balls it's kind of getting on my nerves i'm just not in the mood what a beautiful transformation oh yummy salted peanuts and coke pretty common where i grew up especially when working outdoors i've been met with horror when doing it around people who didn't grow up around it i can see why we need to nuke that particular area of the country look you can dislike pineapple on pizza and stuff like that all you want but peanuts in coke that doesn't even make sense hey you know what this actually doesn't look that bad about a week ago i microwaved some baked beans forgot about them and opened the microwave door today and found this hey presto a new life form you need to set that on fire right now i feel like this is what canadian geese think they look like so i've come to the conclusion that i'm going to get my nipples pierced and then get nipple piercings that have googly eyes on them so it'll look like i have eyes instead of nipples and when i go to do the diddly with a guy when he takes my shirt off he'll be like the hell is that and i can be like the hills have eyes when you download the wrong subtitles for a movie but it still works out what are you doing in my swamp all these young bucks talking about murder hornets and these bad boys have been around for years i had a laminated one you were a psychopath coming soon to taco bell the monster locos taco with enough caffeine to kill a horse oh look at this cute goofy looking weirdo yeah england sure was one gluttonous octopus back in the day oh it's little red riding hood oh my what a big bone you have grandma he began poking you in the stomach jesus christ y'all miss me i made ranch gummy bears and you should too no no i shouldn't if your house doesn't have a chimney don't worry santa can deflate his body and squeeze beneath your doorway arriving at the club my girlfriend do you promise you won't turn into an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon this time me i promise me three drinks later ah you lied you know what scares me most about stuff like this is that someone sat down and thought you know all those weird baby doll parts i have in the basement i could make something even more disgusting with them and then they did it ryan reynolds is pillsbury the true story of a doughboy who became a doe man this definitely seems like something ryan reynolds himself would have been behind never sleep with your feet uncovered or a monster's gonna eat it huh oh i feel that yes we are out of doggo food no i can't buy more because i can't go out dog will be fine i'll give him my vegan food oh why did you have to photoshop a smile on him fact 5067 japanese honeybees kill hornets by enclosing them in a ball of bees and then shaking so fast and generating so much heat that they cook the hornet at 115 degrees fahrenheit oh my god it's true bad and naughty hornets get placed in the b sphere for punishment it's a minecraft b but in 4k would buffalo chicken look like this or like this please god be the first one wanna know what mental image just crept into my brain a clown funeral where the pallbearers accidentally dropped the casket and like 15 dead clowns fall out okay that's just a really good joke but that i funny watermark though no i'm never gonna stop doing that joke because i funny sucks ben and jerry's marlboro red okay that's really disgusting monkeys can learn to use money scientists taught capuchins to exchange silver discs for treats a few weeks into the experiment the monkeys began budgeting for foods they liked they started buying food when the price dropped and even started gambling eventually rich monkeys figured out they could pay each other for sex oh cool so the experiment was a success when you accidentally fall asleep right after you nut then you wake up two hours later okay i can't relate but that sounds awful i heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning is she okay hospital she's okay now no hospital she had to take the deep penis uh what i had to inject her with an epic penis oh for christ's sake epipen oh dad miami stripper arrested for squirting vaginal fluids at police officers in self-defense that's one way to defend yourself oh that's how they're able to do that so well ernie how do i look with your eyes bert with your eyes i guess it's time to cut the cord and by cord i mean the umbilical cord connecting me to this dead rat psych i'm never getting rid of this thing [Applause] crocs but thigh high oh how the hell did i never think of something so dastardly and awful hot pocket sandwiches boiling water flavor oh thank god still got that crispy buttery crust though although personally i prefer the dryer lint flavor the existence of the meatball sub implies there also exists a meatball dom huh pika pika oh don't mind if i do would you still turn to stone if you looked at this version of medusa or would you turn into something else discuss in the comments please what in the world these were real please don't tell me these were but don't do this to me don't mess with me i'll believe it horrifying sperm bank greek yogurt mix-up scandal the fda has issued a formal statement regarding the issue oops sonic the hedgehog age 29 years amy rose sonic age 12 years old oh no oh look it's my baby picture again we're expecting to graduate zeb and travis class of 2020. now that's how you do it i've been diagnosed what's wrong he's diagnosed dude is it just me or do the trees from pokemon look like angry men flexing i can't don't see that either dang it yo you trying to step on our boy low-cost cosplay ain't gonna work no no silica gel do not eat those silica gel industry big shots can't tell me what to do congratulations you've escaped the simulation welcome to the real world this is making me uncomfortable why is it looking at me like that believe it or not you will hit your toe if not today then tomorrow oh don't you put that evil on me what walks on four legs in the morning two in the evening and three at night piece of cake it's man what no people only have two legs stupid the answer is stevie over there kill me pre-cracked egg no messy hand saves time finally i enjoy human skin gloves made by serial killer edgine now i know why npcs run away when i take damage yeah that would be completely understandable i'd run away look props to the artist and all because he can draw but that is freaking gross looking the minecraft stock market good you give me 24 emerald for one oak sapling why did we need harold to be rendered in such high resolution why did we need the detail on his face wasn't the actual man good enough for you every year you're on the naughty list and you get your coal yet you're still naughty no more chances timmy you've made your choice maybe you made a mistake maybe i'm on the wrong list no i checked it twice how to protect your tablet 101 well i guess that works better than nothing customize your genitals in the new upcoming cyberpunk 2077. no boy i can't wait to have a rainbow ding dong get out of my house take this with you no i don't want it go away go 100 million year old spider with a scorpion's tail found in amber let's keep it in there shall we all right come on this is pretty good fyi if you come across one of these it's not blackberries or animal waste it's a tick nest burn it oh god whoo thank god we've come to the end of the video i was really afraid we were gonna have to keep going past the tick nest always remember folks if you even someone enjoyed this video make sure you drop a like down below and hey if you really liked it make sure you hit subscribe and click the bell icon you know you wanna and until next time i'll be seeing you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 961,193

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, compilation, r/tihi, tihi, compilations

Id: 7vO6VLGTXDc

Length: 60min 13sec (3613 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 19 2022