Mark : I'm glad that you're watching; can we introduce- Adam: By the way... NO [laughter] Mark: There he is! Mark: There's the boy! [Everyone moans] Scott: It's a beautiful boy. Mark: Oh my god. Adam: I swear I saw Cool Cat in there. Mark: This cat is incredibly photoshopped into every single, fucking photo. Adam: Amazing.. Mark: Look at that! Scott: Remember Joan of Arc's cat?! Mark: That's a victorian-era furry; let's be real. Mark: That's- These are terrible photos! Mark: They want to get past these as fast as possible. Adam: This is hilarious. Scott: Well, here's the problem, the person who is a graphic designer, is the director. Mark: Oh!
Scott: And someone else is a graphic designer. Mark: Oh, thanks to Bob Kane and DC comics. Adam: DC makes the best movies; Suicide Squad.. Adam: "Sieg heil"
Mark: Look how shitty that is! Scott: PITOF! Mark: Pitof
Scott: He did it! Mark: Thank you Pitof. Scott: Uhh, one name directors, always good? [The sound of masterpieces being shattered] Scott & Mark: Yes. [clip] "Because the day that I died, was also the day I started to live." Mark: Oh, shut up. Adam: This is very poetic. Mark: Wow! You know what this looks like? Like it's worth a 100 million dollars. Scott: Remember that as you watch this movie.
Mark: [Random noises] Mark: [Random idiot noises] Mark: [Laughing] Jesus. Scott: Sharon Stone's only movie in the 2000s? [Laughter] "It has been a magnificent 15 years" Adam & Mark: "Mmmmmmhh" Adam: Look at the model photos and just try to compare that to anything you've seen in real life. Adam: Like, what is this? The one where she's just lifting he armpit? [Kissing sounds] Mark: The editing and the camerawork is fucking amazing. Mark: They have 12 cameras and they're gonna use every single one of them
Adam: Yeah Scott: Halle Berry is dressed like garbage. Adam: Yeah, I think they were trying to make her relatable. Scott: Yeah.
Mark: To garbage?? [Mark laughing] "I'm not pleased" Mark: Me neither, I'm watching Catwoman with these two idiots. Mark: [Yelling] Oh, Woah, Woah! Adam: This does remind me of Cool Cat trying to sleep. Mark: "Oh, she's just like me" Scott: "Ooohh, walking's hard" [Infomercial buzzer sound] Adam: This is rape. "I stopped waiting a long time ago, George." Mark: [Moaning and laughing] Mark: [Screaming in rage] Mark: "Get rid of these, throw them in the dumpster" Adam: They're constantly updating their catalog with the same photos. Scott: There has to be a better way to do this. Scott: P.S. If you stand on an air-conditioning unit, it will fall and you will die. "Hey, man-sandwich!!" [WHIP SOUND EFFECT] Scott: Did he just call just Benjamin Bratt a "Man Sandwich"? Adam: Yes
Mark: Yes Adam: He's a gay boy. Scott: "Hey, we're both wearing the same clothes as yesterday." Adam: Yeah
Mark: Yep Scott: Alright. "Tom Lone; rhymes with comb, phone, bone" [Awkward laughter] "Not that rhyming is all that important." Mark: This is ad-libbed. Scott: I hope so! "How'd you... get...?" Mark: "...in here? The door." Scott: [Laughing] Mark: Again please, if you're watching this, keep note of the cuts and the angles. Adam: "Hehehehe" "Maybe I could make it up to you by taking you to coffee!" Mark: They cut to her blink and then cut back to him. Adam: We need to see every character's reaction
[Mark loses his shit] at the same time.
[Laughter continues] Scott: Oy my god! Mark: It's film making masterpiece! Adam: It's like the director would have prefered having, like, four separate screens at the same time so that he would never have to cut away. Scott: Does any movie fail the Bechdel test worse than this movie? "I don't care that the FDA never saw the headaches or the..." Mark: What?! Scott: That was an odd cut! Scott: What are these cuts?! Scott: Who's. Making. These. Cuts?! Mark: That's actually the asian guy from, fucking, "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". Scott: That's Jet Li! [Mark laughs] Adam: It is! Mark: That IS Jet Li Adam: Mark, you're a fucking racist. I don't understand how you don't see it. Mark: [More bumbling idiot noises] *Infomercial buzzer sound* Mark: Ooh, ooh! Yeah, BABY! Adam: The best part about cutting that quickly is, you can tell exactly what's going on! Mark: Yes. Mark: [Even more bumbling idiot noises] Mark: It's her career! [Mark laughing] Mark: Slippery slope Adam: "Hey, Halle Berry, you're looking a little...flushed!" Adam & Mark: "Ahhhhhh..." Adam: If you're gonna, like, cut to the underwater shot, even if you were doing it stereotypically, like a cliche, you'd have it- the shot last for more than like a second especially if you're gonna do slow motion. Adam: You know? Mark: Goodbye Mark: Oh my god what is this, Avatar?! Scott: Who's a good cartoon kitty? [Mark laughs] Everyone: AAAHHHH!!! Adam: Vore. Mark: Best way of a superhero or supervillain, whatever, origin story of receiving your powers.. Scott: Is this. Mark: Are you ready for this? Adam: It's gonna fuck her; it's gonna rape her mouth Scott: This is deeply erotic Mark: Even better. Marrk: What's the cat gonna do? What's the cat gonna do? Adam: Very intently Mark: Uh-oh it's gonna do something. Mark: It's pretty good. Adam & Scott: Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss Mark: No
Adam & Scott: Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss Mark: Yeah, you guessed right it's gonna fucking burp in her mouth! [Everyone loses their shit] Scott: Oh, no! Oh, kitty eye! Scott: It gassed her! Scott: Guys, the whole thing is a metaphor for the Holocaust! Adam: I suddenly really want to eat a bird. Scott: I wanna get those birds. Everyone: "Aaaahhhhh!" Mark: Oh my god 3D! Adam: Is this canon? Scott: Spot on. Spot on. Mark: Honestly, they took the groundwork and improved upon it. [Mark laughing] "Yeah, hey Patience, it's Tom Lone. I'm here at [coffee shop] waiting, and you're not here.." Mark: Oh, he got stood up looks like he's gonna go somewhere else to find pussy. *Full House theme plays* Scott: Can we, by the way, congratulate ourselves for going this long Mark: Without saying that joke?
Scott: without making a pussy joke. Scott: Pretty good. Scott: Her name is Ophelia Powers.. Mark: Ughhh "No caffeine; it makes them irritable." Mark: "..in bed :3"
Scott: Yeah, don't give your cats caffeine! Mark: "I'm sort of a pseudo therapist aswell on the side, don't worry.." Mark: Smells like...Oscar! Scott: This is- Mark: -the second one? Adam: Oh my god, she's gonna cum. Scott: She's an oscar winner. She's an oscar winner. Mark: Yes. Mark: Was that your first take? Scott: "Well, let me try it again.." "Sorry is not nearly enough." "Okay... then let me try the remix." Everyone: Oooohhh "..working for an untalented, unethical, egomaniac like you." Mark: I like how that's a cat power is being, like, a cunt. "..I didn't mean it!" Scott: "My cat powers made me lippy." (*Hisss*) Scott: Oscar winner!
Mark: This will be- Mark: This will be great for the trailer! Scott: Oscar winner. Mark: Ughhh Scott: Oh, down goes Lois Griffin. Adam: She's dead. Mark: She's just playing; she wants out of the movie. "Sally, Sally!" Adam: All the best movies have weird scene transitions. Mark: Yes
Adam: Saw 4? *Audio blows out* Everyone: "Sorry!" Adam: That's what I say at Starbucks everytime.
Mark: What is this, Canada? Mark: "What's your name?" "Sorry" Adam: [Demonic laughter] Mark: Oh fuck yeah; here it is!! Mark: Oh BOY Adam: This scene- Mark: This. Adam: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get it, get it, unh Adam & Mark: Ohhhh Scott: This is legitimate, if you can't see Halle's face, it is a man in a wig, doing all of this. Adam: This is my favorite song too. Scott: Mid-2000s R&B all day! Adam: This is why you're here. Mark: Oh man why is he fronting? Adam: They're just groping each other, not really playing.. Mark: This is so sensual! Adam: Oh my god! What are you- Adam: This is in front of children, you're not even
Mark: You're leaving the lane wide open! Adam: playing the game, you're just groping! Mark: "Ohh" Mark: The wide angle close-ups... Adam: Yeah, fish eye. Adam: They designed a new lens called the cat eye lens. Mark: Oh, shut up. Scott: That was a guy. Adam: I would love it if that one was a guy. Scott: That was 100% a guy. Adam: They needed a stunt. Mark: Known for their basketball skills, cats! Scott: Absolutely. Scott: Um, I've never referred to a basket- to a one-on-one basketball game as disgusting before, Scott: But that was. Mark: That was smut. Mark: "White, white, white" Scott: "Perfect!" Adam: Got em Adam: It's the same photo, really. Scott: Jet Li. Adam: You don't need to keep saying it, it's pretty obvious. Scott: Sorry
Adam: Mark's the only one that doesn't get it. Mark: What does she have? Zoom eyes? Everyone: Ohhhhhhh! Scott: That should have hurt more..! Adam: Ah, sugar glass.. delicious! Mark: You get so sexy when you turn into a cat. "You'd think with all the advances in modern medicine, this place would at least have a wet bar." Mark: I hope she gets mercury poisoning, and dies. "You know how to play basketball?" Mark: She can't even move normally anymore. Mark: She's moving like a cat forever now. Scott: *chuckles* Furr-ever! Mark: Look at that!
Scott: You are forever cat. Mark: She has a litter of fucking cat people. Adam: Oh my god
Mark: She has a litter of fucking cat people. Mark: She grows, like, four nipples.. Scott: Gotta feed them ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Mark: Oh my God *laughing* Mark: "Time for the remix" *everyone bursts into laughter* Scott: What if she said it again?! Adam: "Ehhh..I want some of that pussy.." Mark: "Hehehehe" "Turn the music down, just a little-" (Denied) Adam: This performance.. Scott: "Let's try the remix!" *RIP DOOR* Adam: "I'm strong" Adam: "Also you have a really shitty door" "Tell you what, why don't I do it myself." Mark: "How about the remix!" * INTENSE REMIXING * Mark: "I'm not gonna do anything about it but-" * CAN'T HANDLE THE REMIX * Mark: What the fuck?! Adam: They all love it. "You hear that? It's called silence." Scott: If these roles were reversed right now, he would go to jail. *R&B music starts playing* [Mark's moans of pleasure] Mark: Every time Adam: Best soundtrack choice, since "Indigo Prophecy" Mark: Oh no, stop.. Adam: Hang it up! Mark: What the fuck is she doing?!?! Edward Scissorhands? Scott: I would like everyone at home to give themselves a haircut with two pairs of scissors and see if it works out as well as Hallie. Mark: Oh the- Oh no this- ooh Mark: Oh, it looks so good, please more Daddy.. Oh God.. Help! Adam: Is this Nerve?
Scott: Pitof what are you going to me?? Mark: Seizure warning Adam: This is, like, what she wants as a character. This is, like, her hopes and desires. Mark: OHHH! It broke! WELL before!! Mark: By the way best CGI right now boys! Scott: Really? I'm excited
Mark: Yeah hold on Scott: They know she's not there, right? Like, they can see. Mark: "Must be dead" Mark: OOOOOOOOOOOOH [Mark freaking out] Mark: A hundred million dollahs! Mark: A hundred million dollahs! Scott: She's surfing a man! Mark: Method man, look, get out of there! "meow." Mark: Ooh, no!! Adam: She's trying to construct the crime scene in a way where no one will ever believe them. "Thieves say she jumps around like a cat" [Mark loses his shit] Adam: This is exactly why she did this.. Scott: Some kind of cat broad? Scott: Cats. Period. Women. Mark: Oh, get It guys? Internet. Adam: The cat in history. Mark: Demon.... What- What the fuck? Oh no... Mark: Witches, devils.. Scott: You search the cat in history.. Mark: The cat IN history Scott: Who's a pretty boy? Mark: We saw these before- oh, the boi Scott: Hey, did you love the opening sequence? Guess what? Mark: We're gonna get our money's worth! Scott: It's back! Mark: Ooooohhh! Mark: What is with this? Scot: Ohh, stick it! Adam: It'd be funny if she was just mistaken and she murdered her. Scott: And she totally died. Scott: Short movie. [credits music] [Mark singing the end credits] Adam: Does she literally have that gate opening at the top of there Mark: Yes
Adam: just so she can do that? Scott: So she can push women off it! to test if they're catwomen! Adam: What other reason would you have?? Scott: Holy shit, Michelle Pfeiffer! Scott: They thought they were so clever.. Mark: They're like, "Guys, it's canon!" Scott: Like, Pitof jerked off that night. Mark: Yes. Mark: "Here, have my fetish mask!" "Accept it, child." Mark: Accept the fetish! It's not a phase! Scott: Oh hey, how about I ruin these pants. Mark: Yeah Mark: Aesthetic Mark: Oh, it's just fetish gear Scott: Straight fetish gear Interviewer: "How did you pick Catwoman from all the scripts?" Pitof: "I mean I'm a French man; I love women!" "Halle Berry, how could you refuse!!" Mark: Oh, it's aged so well; it's like a fine wine! Scott: Magic cat x-ray Adam: Cuz cats remember things the best... Mark: Impressive long-term memory, compared to crows, very- *sees the terrible shot* Mark: That was absolute garbage! Adam: I know. Scott: I loved it! Adam: The settings in this film flow together in a way that, like, they would never in real life, you know? "Cream, straight up" Mark: Watch the reaction Adam: You know, I don't know how much he charged for that, but I'm sure you could get it cheaper.. Mark: "Oh boy I'm wet" Mark: I hope you don't have- prone to epilepsy.. Scott: Now I really hope that! Mark: I warned you! Adam: How did this happen? Adam: Where were you? Mark: Yeah, she was right behind the back door. Adam: Where, what the fuck just happened? Mark: Cut every four frames. Mark: Wait for it.. "Looking for something?" Mark: He looks so confused! Mark: Oh my god, keep up with the editing, wooo!! "So I flushed the pipes." Mark: "They told me to flush de pipes, so I flushed de pipes" Scott: It's like Van Damme and Willem Dafoe had a kid Scott: That's what that guy looks like. Adam: I wish they would "No!" Mark: Aw, I really miss this guy! Why did he have to die.. Mark: "You did this! It's you Catman!" "You look amazing, wow!" Scott: "Let's talk about getting laid, even though I'm dying..." Mark: She can't even look normal! Mark: She can't even look at things normal! Adam: She's permanently tweaked out on speed now. Scott: Purr-manently.. "Cuz it's making you sick, trust me" Adam: "Trust me, I know" Adam: "Sorry, sorry" Adam: "Sorry" "The broad spacing of the letters, indicative of loneliness" Adam: "Indicative of loneliness"? Scott: She's a sad girl Adam: Really, you're going that far? "And the "O", well, this person doesn't like to play by all the rules." Adam: What the fuck? Adam: How can you interpret that much from a handwriting?! Mark: "HEY!" Adam: Is this Final Destination 3? Mark: Yeah. "I gotta stop this thing!" Mark: "I'm a cop!" Adam: What are you- ah, come - Scott: "But I'm a cat, I should do this!" Adam: What a responsible- what the hell is happening? "MOM!" Adam: There's a little boy.. Mark: "Frankie! Why did you go up there alone Frankie?!" Adam: What- what is happening there? Scott: Cat powers, let the kid die, cat powers, let the kid die.. What should I do?? Adam: These seem like completely unrelated mechanical failures there.. Mark: What the fuck is she doing? What is she, an insect? Adam: I'm loving how these unrelated, separate, mechanical failures are happening at the same time. Scott: Yeah this ferris wheel is a mess. "Not tonight, I've got some, um.. BUSINESSSSS that I have to.." Scott: "businesss.. you know.." Adam: I gotta fuck a cat.
Mark: My pussy's bleeding. Mark: Ew. "You picked the wrong house." Mark: "You furry fuck" Mark: "Yiff in hell" Adam: What is, umm, Catwoman's goal right now? Adam: Mark? Do you-? Mark: What? Adam: What's her goal right now? Like.. Scott: Why is she here? What does she want? Mark: She wants to find the - Mark: the Merovingian.. Mark: uh.. the frenchman.. Mark: Oh god don't put it in your pussy pocket!! Mark: She wants revenge, I think she actually wants to murder, rape, maybe.. this guy. Scott: I like how they got.. Ohh! You're.. a.. new prostitute! Scott: She's totally getting off on this right now. Mark: She's swatting at them!
Scott: She's batting at them.. Scott: What a good show. Adam: Why. Like, why. Mark: Look at her face!! "purrs" Mark: Oh my god, you fucking freak. Adam: Yeah, she's not very good at it too... "If that cable hits us, we're both fried." "I knew I felt a spark between us." Mark: Oh, fuck you! Adam: She's gonna fix the gap in his teeth! Mark: Eugh.. you just put evidence! Scott: She sort of did!
Mark: She's CRAZY! Adam: How did.. she just.. wait.. Mark: Cats can get out of cuffs, Adam.
Scott: Cats don't have thumbs! Adam: I think her bones got reorganized.. Scott: Cats don't have thumbs!
Adam: I think her bones got reorganized.. Mark: Cats don't have bones! "This is a disahster! A total, bloody disaster!" Mark: "I cahn't believe I'm in Cahtwoman!" "Don't be scared." "Ha ha ha." Mark: "Ha ha ha." Was that the only take? Adam: uuhh.
Scott: Gotcha. "Be a man!" Merk: "BE a man!!" Mark: She's got patriarchy blocker! Adam: Is that what Laci Green uses? Adam: Alright, let's stop, let's stop.. Scott: Is she shaving?? Mark: It is Sharon Stone.. Everyone: Oooooooh Mark: "Ooh." She didn't know the camera was on. [clip] "You like your sushi?"
Mark: "Ooh." She didn't know the camera was on. "That's good." Scott: Big night, Benjamin! Mark: "Ruh roh 'Raggie I think I found a Scooby clue!" Scott: "I better take this to the handwriting analyst!" Scott: You fucking asshole. Mark: "Listen, the woman who stole this diamond is definitely not the same woman that you fucked last night!" "It's me" Scott: What. Is. This. Phone? Mark: He got scratched to death! "The clawed-flesh thing was a little.. tricky.." Mark: She's like, "duh, what are you doing?" Mark: "I haven't got it yet!" *Zelda chest opening music* "You killed him..." Mark: [laughing] "You killed him!!" Scott: "YOU killed him?? DUHH" "ooh, George.." Mark: That's her genuinely acting.. Scott: "Acting!!" "Help! It's Catwoman! She killed George!!" Mark: She had to read the lines: Scott: Is Benjamin Bratt the only fucking cop in this major metropolitan city? Mark: Yes. Scott: Burglaries, murders, talking at schools to kids, bullying, homicide, fucking cirque, he's there in seconds. Adam: "I know she's a bad kitty, I think? I mean, she murders people.." [crying voice] "George found out, and she killed him too!" Scott: That's a good cry voice going on right now. Mark: Tears don't lie! Adam: I like how she also does the interrogation, like.. Mark: I know. Scott: Only. Cop. In. The. City. Scott: "Yeah, we totally banged last night, but too bad, I'm the only cop in the city, so I guess I gotta handle it!" Adam: "Hmm. Sorry, sorry." Scott: Wait, is he still figuring it out even though he knows everything?? Mark: Yeah. Also, this close-up is terribly framed. Mark: Kisses!
Adam: They're gonna fuck now. Mark: Time for the remix. Mark: OH! Scott: "Oh, my tits!" Mark: She just walks outta prison, fucking Heavy Rain style.. Scott: Well, to be fair, there is only one cop keeping track of things.. Mark: How?? How?!? Adam: Teleportation in movies is always so stupid. Adam: Oh my god, she got pounded. She loved it. Adam: She's in heat. Scott: "I've had bigger.." Adam: Oh no! What the fuck..
Mark: Phallic!! "A girl like me lands on her feet." Mark: What the? What??
"A girl like me lands on her feet." Mark: You're an asshole! Adam: She's a cat! Mark: What's that boom mic guy doing? He's, like, 12 feet away. Scott: Ehh..he's helping. Adam: *bubbling sounds* I almost threw up. Mark: It has that effect on people. Mark: MEHHH "Don't be stupid, Lorry. You don't wanna kill a cop.." Scott: I really think she does. Mark: Oh, that CG! "Now I can kill you both." Adam: With what? Scott: A mean look? Adam: They just let her do that. These two. Scott: Jet Li and Jean Claude Dafoe. Mark: It's like The Expendables! Mark: Is he dead?! Scott: I don't understand that at all. Scott: What were the physics of that? Mark: Oh my god. He cracked his head open, the soul left his body, you could see it! Scott: What if she just shot her? Adam: "You're just one big phony!" Scott: What if she just shot her. Teleport. "because you killed me.." Scott: Halle has really gonna let go of this "you killed me" shit, because guess what, Halle? Ya ain't dead. Mark: A cat burped in your mouth with a green gas.. Scott: And now you're magic, at no point did you die. Mark: Oh, this music, yas Mark: Fucking brilliant. Scott: I don't often use the word
"perfect".. Adam: That face.. Mark: Ohh..that shot is amazing.. Scott: Cats' only weakness: being stabbed in the femoral artery.. Mark: Being bashed, having their brains bashed in too. A cat's only weakness! Mark: "Game over" Scott: "Time for the remix!" "Overtime." Mark: Oh no, her true form has been revealed: it's Sharon Stone! Scott: Eugghh..disgusting! [everyone freaks out] Scott: Oh my god! Oh, the flips!!
[everyone freaks out] Mark: Oh my god!!
[everyone freaks out] Scott: The ragdoll rhysics in this are perfect! Adam: There would be some blood. Scott: Now she's got marble face! Mark: So the fate of the Asian guy, he's just dead. Scott: His soul left his body! Mark: "Oh dang it." "You're a good man, Tom" Adam: "You're a good kitty" Scott: "But I got cats to fuck. This is my boyfriend now! Sorry Benjamin!" Adam: A perfect way to end the movie. Mark: It's the remix! Hahaha, it looks so shit. Mark: CGI butt waddle. Adam: I know. This is very strange. This moon. Whip! Mark: OHHHH!! Fuck yeah boy!! Scott: Catwoman: good DC movie or the best DC movie?? Mark: The best DC movie. Scott: Wait, Patience Phillips was Catwoman all along?? Scott: What a twist! Mark: Whip coach!
Scott: I love that there was a whip coach! Adam: Zoe Bell! Mark: Final thoughts. Can we just go through this? Mark: It is such a tremendous failure, and it's such a clusterfuck on every single level. There isn't a single thing about this movie that works. Scott: It's not for anyone. It's not for comic book fans, it's not for women, it's not for men.. Scott: Do cats love this movie?? Mark: This was kind of a career-killer. Scott: For everyone involved?
Mark: This was kind of a career-killer. Scott: Sharon Stone, Pitof. Halle Berry: I also wanna thank our director, Pitof. You know that one name French guy? It was a joy to come to work every day with him, really. Pitof: So that was the best part of the movie. I got to kiss Halle Berry every morning and every evening! Halle Berry: I mean, I didn't know what the hell he was saying, but I'm sure it showed in my performance. Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit god-awful movie!! Mark: Halle Barry was a fucking Oscar-winner. She could do anything at this point, and she did Catwoman. Halle Berry: You know, it was just what my career neede, you know? I was at the top, and then Catwoman just plummeted me to the bottom.. Love it. Scott: This movie was right in the sweet spot of comic book movie misfires with female leads, you had Catwoman, you had Elektra right around the same time as this. Adam: When your agent signs you up with Catwoman you're like, "ah there have been some successful superhero films." Like we're having some sort of superhero resurgence, and you know, maybe everybody was having some really hopeful thoughts about it, but you know what, it turned out to be a work of art. Alright, alright. We're all gonna die. Synecdoche. Goodbye!
I could not stop laughing oh my god
Its time for the REMIX
I saw that video was 24 minutes and I was like eh I'll just watch the first 3. I watched alllll of it.
Yay!! Yourmoviesucks! This is such an amazing channel.
Yep that's YMS
OVERTIME
"Oh my god remember Joan of arc's cat?!" fuckin lol
30-minute long contagious laugh-fests are the best!
holy shit, thank you for introducing me to this channel.
Brilliant. Better than the movie itself.