Fateful Findings is a work of sheer breenius. This masterful film was directed by none other than Neil Breen, a man who seems as though he was plucked straight out of a Tim and Eric' skit. NEIL: Hi, thanks for checking out my crowdfunding site. My name is Neil Breen. I'm a filmmaker. It's a sci-fi, a sci--... science fiction drama. Twisted, uh... Dirty, dark, edgy. It is not a midnight movie. It's a legitimate, mainstream full-length feature film. ADUM: I shit you not, this man is the next big thing in "so bad that it's good" filmmaking. Quite honestly the biggest reason I'm reviewing this film is because not enough people know about him. Not a single one of his films has even broke 500 ratings on IMD-Breen And that's not okay, America! For shame. For shame, America! So sometime last year, someone tweeted me suggesting I add Fateful Findings to my watchlist. And I did. When I finally got around to watching it, it was one of the most magical film experiences of my entire life. There was a point in the film where I was laughing so hard that my roommate from downstairs had to come up to my room to see what the fuck was so funny. I think this scene kind of speaks for itself: "I'm gonna shoot this damn car full of holes!" "No, no no!" [GUNSHOT] "Jim!" "Amy?!" "You..." "killed Tim." Neil Breen aka God has been making films since 2005 and thankfully he is just starting to get a bit of attention red letter media Covered his first film Double Down in their best of the worst series so as soon as I saw their video I was like holy shit. He made the same movie twice Dead wife magic rock an unnecessary amount of old laptops hacking It was at this point that I had realized there was something very special here So I promptly bought every single one of his films They showed up exactly how you see them now cracked jewel case But hey at least it's breehn autographed also in the spirit of his own movies the actual process of purchasing his films is needlessly convoluted And difficult to understand if you want to purchase fateful findings You just buy it on his website But if you want to purchase DoubleDown or I am here now you have to click the link to purchase fateful findings But then had special instructions to the seller to specify which movie you Actually want to buy and nowhere on the website does it say this I literally would not have known how to purchase two out of three of your films if I didn't happen to see this post on the fateful Findings Facebook page so Neil Breen if you're watching this could you maybe update your website so that people who want to buy your movies? Can understand how to buy your movies? Or is the actual process of buying your movies just a metaphor now I'd already seen fateful findings So I could attest to the fact that it's a perfect movie to watch with drunk friends so naturally I invited some people over for a viewing in the hopes that I could record some genuine Reactions what I didn't realize however is that we would stay up all night watching all three of his films and I gotta say this trilogy is quite the Holy Trinity a Delicious three Breen salad if you will so before we get into fateful findings Let me give you a quick rundown of his first two films starting with Double Down so first of all if you haven't seen red Letter media x' breakdown of this film you probably should watching everyone lose their shit while rich Evans Desperately tries to explain the plot is probably the best thing you can watch to set your expectations for this masterpiece this movie is Lieut fucking nonsense I would say a good twenty five percent of the movie is literally just stock footage and the rest of the movie is just the Same scenes happening over and over again It's seriously as though he filmed several takes for each shot Then later edited his movie together only to find out he had 25 minutes of usable footage and then just decided hey What about those other takes that I didn't use we could just use those and then I'll have a feature-length film it Seriously feels as though that is a likely possibility? I swear to god. He runs up that mountain like 30 fucking times Four years later in Neal Breen releases his second feature film titled I am here Now now this film was the last one We watched that night, so there weren't that many people left, but that didn't stop it from being mind-blowing Lee hilarious So with Neil Breen being a super-intelligent hacker assassin in the previous film He decided to make his next character even more omnipotent And I mean how much more powerful can a character get without just turning him into a sabrine being in this masterpiece Neil Breen plays Alien Jesus kind of once again this film is quite repetitive But at least it's a little bit more Comprehensible a little bit so basically Neil Breen created all the planets and he comes back to earth only to be disappointed And how shitty human beings are as a species? You see Neil Breen is the ultimate moral authority, and he really likes it when people are good And he really doesn't like it when people are bad, and the movie really feels as though it needs to emphasize Which characters are good and which characters are bad so the only characters? You'll ever see are either exaggeratedly kind or exaggeratedly evil That's just not It's pretty much Just a movie about Neal Breen being a superior being than everybody around him interlaced with Birdemic shock and terror levels of political Commentary now that we've paid off our fellow elected representatives in the legislature That environmental solar panel development bill Failed next week so because the evil corporate businessman sabotage solar development this girl gets laid off So how she's supposed to feed that fake baby now perhaps she should train to become a military sniper No instead her twin sister says she can hook her up with a stripper slash escort job so she takes her to this gang filled with weirdos who only ever seemed to stand around with their guns in the middle of the Fucking road, and man let me tell you they are quite the immoral people I'll get her first So later the wheelchair man sees that the fake baby dropped something man, if that isn't a good deed I don't know. What is Neal Breen. Why don't you work your alien techno jesus magic? This is literally the second film in a row where Neal Breen cures someone's Cancer so now the girl's twin sister decides she will also start hooking and her boyfriend decides he will start stealing cars But the gang gets mad that he's stealing cars on their turf so they kill him in a very gritty and realistic way then they Show her the body for some reason? What this damn piece of garbage So now the gang finds out that there's an undercover cop amongst them So naturally they give him the most epic beatdown ever captured on film So naturally Neil Breen steps in by freezing everyone in time to save this man And then he crucifies them Home Depot style now obviously after that point his work is done And he leaves but not before some other really weird shit that I don't understand What drives you to pray those kind of images? I mean baby head to the desert I'll leave it up to the audience the meeting of the little heads in the ground It means whatever you want More than one give us a second well, thanks for stopping by Neal Breen you were too good for this planet And last but not least we have the masterpiece known as fateful findings starring Neal Breen in this film He tones down the narcissism just a tad and plays an actual human being instead of an alien super Jesus although He still has super powers bestowed on him from a magical rock And he does spend the whole movie being morally superior to everyone around him. He's pretty much the only character That's not a scumbag or drug addict, so the movie starts out with more free play music yay Good one We then see a storage locker in a big-ass book that I guess someone's just sprinkling glitter overtop of we then see two kids running through a field And they then walk past what appears to be a repurposed prop from Double Down They then find a mushroom that turns into a treasure a treasure So now the girls moving away, and they have their final goodbyes as awkwardly as possible So this kid grows up to be Neal Breen And we see a shot of him talking on the phone with his wife and by that I mean he's not saying anything at all But the way they filmed her makes it seem as though. That's what's supposed to be happening. Oh fuck So he got hurt pretty bad, and now he's in a room. That's supposed to look like a hospital Yeah, that's right check his pulse. If only had some sort of a machine that could do that for you So everybody else leaves, but luckily he's had the magic rock in his hand this whole time you know on second thought I'm not really all that sure that Neal Breen's actually playing a human in this one because apparently he doesn't need needles And he just absorbs shit through his fucking skin also apparently they feel as though. It's necessary to filter the oxygen through his bandages So he leaves the quote-unquote hospital and all the sudden some feet show up only to immediately fucking disappear So now we see the carpet in Neel Breen's home which looks suspiciously similar to the carpet in the hospital he hops in the shower and we get a Romantic scene with him and his wife You know the blood in this movie actually looks a lot better than in most movies Congratulations Neil Breen you did a good thing right and I'm proud of you now. He's in his office and pretty much any time He's here. You can expect there will be some sort of violence against his laptops Now we're at his friend's house and the carpet looks suspiciously similar to the other carpets in every other scene and the blinds look suspiciously similar to the blinds in every other scene Worthy, but if you don't mind if you don't mind talking about budget-wise ballpark budget budget producers low-budget indie producers like myself Should never talk about budgets well Let's see my budget budgets are really irrelevant my my immediate comment back to someone like you is You know I'm not gonna tell you what the budget is you tell me? You don't to tell me, but I mean in your head you tell me what you think the budget was You tell me what you think? Budgetarily it took to Create and make that film look the way. It looks back at home Neal Breen asks his wife to get him his pills Where are my pills? Thank you During the film Neil Breen has several hallucinations with the rock wherein he is suddenly inside a room made out of garbage bags It's a metaphor later. It seems as though Neil Breen has found the most irresponsible way to drink coffee with your laptop One of my favorite things about Neal Breen's films is just how fucking clumsy everyone is people are always spilling shit falling over or just plain fucking up I Shit you not all you got to do is change the footage to black and white and all the sudden you're watching an infomercial Is happening to you Are you tired of not being able to eat you are tuna while you're driving Do you find you ever get painful headaches that just won't go away There's got to be a better way, I'm feeling less stable Do you feel like you're always struggling to stay awake? Try me Oh brain the only 100% doctor recommended an fda-approved way to cure all of your symptoms So now he's having dinner with his friends and the poor no quality acting becomes more apparent than ever I'm hungry I Can't wait for dinner meanwhile the film decides to emphasize what a piece-of-shit drunk the dad is Can I have some wine please Wow you're like not even gonna clean that up So one of the subplots to this film is that Neal Breen is hacking the government to expose secrets And I guess he didn't really know how he was gonna plant those seeds for the audience fuck it He'll just say it out loud to himself. I'm going to continue hacking into these government systems to see what I can find out About all this national and international corruption. I know is going on So apparently Neal Breen's wife is a pill junky And she's been stealing his medication right out of the toilet Neal Breen says let's talk But then the scene ends and cuts to him on his top also apparently the last four keys he hit were with his mind What did you like follow him into this room to say that Okay, so it's pretty obvious he scavenged Craigslist for broken laptops at some point and I guess after acquiring them He decided he was going to get as much use out of them as possible There are so many goddamn scenes that revolve around him abusing his laptops I have to assume that this is the only reason the conversation moved to the office fast forward to a bit later And they're already bickering at each other again. There is another girl No, that is not true, so Now we're having a barbecue by the pool I should mention that this is the same pool from I am here Now it's during this scene where piece-of-shit drunk dad manages to pull this party trick more importantly This is where the quote unquote plot starts going somewhere kind of so this girl gets a call on her cell phone And I guess her ringtone is just to keypad beeps If only there was a product that allowed me to have an extra pocket Outside of my jeans there's got to be a better way, so if you haven't guessed This is the book from the beginning of the movie Apparently this girl aged a lot more Gracefully than Neal Breen did apparently it was such a magical day that she keeps this fucking booklet inside her pocket Everywhere she goddamn goes for 30 fucking years. I think of you every day I Think of you every day well that explains that look it was given earlier So now these two are fighting for basically no reason, and it eventually turns into that scene I showed earlier Somehow Neil Breen eventually manages to get inside the house all right now Can we all imagine just how dramatic and emotional this must have been in Neal Breen said when he was planning this out? Apparently it makes the scene even more dramatic if you get blood on your face. I can't believe you committed suicide I cannot believe you committed suicide How could you have done this? How could you have committed suicide? Later Neal Breen is in an argument over the phone about publishing his book He decides to throw shit at his laptop for a good measure that first book made a fortune for you Later Neal Breen and his long-lost mistress go back to that magical spot meanwhile his wife stays at home and kills herself later it seems as though he's adjusted to his replacement wife quite effortlessly he decides to tell her about how he's hacking the Government shortly after that he starts feeling a sudden urgency to leak all of the nonspecific Information he's collected. I can't wait any longer But apparently somebody already knows what he's doing and now they're kidnapping his replacement wife Are you tired of this happening to you gun self-defense for women covers from basic to advanced knowledge on guns from pistols to shotguns this film also covers mace knife protection stun guns knife protection karate self-defense mace knife protection mace karate self-defense baseball bullying karate self-defense bullying Baseball he shows up to the trailer outside a storage locker where she's being kept prisoner to find the kidnapper conveniently asleep on the job He wakes him up to knock him out and then uses his magic powers to teleport into the room He saves the day and then his house turns into paranormal activity for some reason and now time for the most epic finale in all of Cinematic fucking history Neil Breen holds a press conference in front of the White House to talk about the files He'll be leaking I have discovered more information than any hacker ever has ever What I have found will shock you and in response we see a compilation of corrupt Politicians and CEOs killing themselves. I'm afraid of going to prison They now know my crimes I Resigned today as president of the bank the bank You can't make this shit up people if this isn't a happy ending. I don't know what is So in conclusion all of you need to start watching these movies right fucking now Fateful findings was easily my favorite with DoubleDown at a close second but each of these films are special and Entertaining in their own unique way now if I truly wanted to dissect these films and mention every single thing I see this video would be hours long I mean there was a lot of shit that I didn't even mention Partially because I want there to be plenty of observations that other YouTube reviewers can pick up guys his movies are so fucking comedic ly Exploitable you have no idea The other reason why I left out so much is because I want everybody to experience these movies firsthand There are so many common elements in each of his films that it's a shame No, one's made a drinking game yet, actually you know what I'm gonna make one right now I'm calling it bring go Bring go no It's up to you whether or not you want to make an actual bingo board out of it Or just drink anytime one of these things happens, but here's everything from his films. I noticed that I feel would be appropriate to include someone dropping something skull or skeleton fade effect Neal Breen mentions or demonstrates his magic powers an adult female character who is clearly wearing no, bra Repurposed prop or location hacking ghosts driving in the desert dead wife magical rock laser pointer stock footage Characters shifting between old and young in the same scene a topless woman laying face down Ripped clothes a shot of clothes hitting the floor or ground Neal Breen talking to himself Corporate businessman shot of someone's feet swimming pool blood on Neal Breen's face Liss Neal Breen someone disappears through basic editing tricks violence against laptops so if you watch the whole trilogy and take a sip of beer every time you see one of those things you will die but Hey, at least you had fun So fuck it in all seriousness Neal Breen clearly has a passion for what he's doing and I want to see more of it So everybody help him out and support the artist by purchasing one of his films I mean if you can figure out how to that is and just when he thought news couldn't get any better He's got another film to be released this year. I am NOT of this early I am artificial intelligence from far into the future. I have taken on this human body In order to communicate with the humans I can move from one time to another Well there you have it we have truly been blessed with quite possibly the most important new voice in Independent cinema the Father the Son and the Holy alien space Jesus the real human breathe Hey guys this probably looks very different and that's because I'm in marks office right now anyway very special Thanks to Brent Daniel who agreed to do some very short notice voice acting for that infomercial segment I had already recorded it with my own voice, but I don't have the suave Markiplier esque voice that he does so go check out his channel. There's a link in the description There's a video where he read the entire script to a b-movie and I know that that's a spicy mean right now also very fucking important crazy shit We're getting our first t-shirts I'm gonna have t-shirts now. It's been what like 10 years on YouTube total including all my channels as as of June 20th. Literally on the website for 10 years I've had this film review channel since 2010 and this will be the very first YMS merchandise ever And I can't believe it's taking so long But part of the reason why it has taken up until this point Is because I kind of wanted all the stars to align before signing on to something or making a kind of commitment like that I? Know that there were websites like teespring and Spreadshirt But I wouldn't really have a level of communication with them since they're Offering this service to so many people I don't really know what the quality of their shirts are like however I have a friend that literally started his t-shirt company this year And I decided to go through him because I've seen his shirts in person I know he doesn't use cheap shit And he actually uses good materials to print the shirts and this way at least I'm able to have a level of communication With the person who's selling the shirts, too So it's a win-win for everybody the design is actually made by a good friend as well You can check out her website there will be a link in the description The reason why I'm not wearing one of these shirts right now is because they're literally two days away from being complete and printed but I figured I would advertise them in this video anyway because I mean Why the fuck not? I'll show the I'll show the t-shirt in a next video or something so you can see it for yourselves But here's the design if this looks like something that you would want to wear on your face Go for it go for it. Do it eat it up eat it up sell out sell out. I'm selling out guys everybody I'm done. I'm done. I'm selling out and it's over what happened YMS. I thought I thought you were against everything that Involves making any kind of money, that's that's what I remember Seriously, though. It's great that I'm doing this through a friend and not some random people I don't know. He was actually in this video that you just watched He was one of the voices in that room full of people that I blessed with Neil Neil Breen's Holy Trinity He was the gayest sounding voice in the room so that way you know for a fucking fact that those are good quality clothes Anyway now that I'm done this. I'm off to work some more on my 2014 list 2014 just happens to be like one of the best years for movies ever so it's taken longer than expected Which is why I decided to release this sooner or work on finish this up before I was finished my 2014 list anyway just letting you know that it will literally be the Longest review that I've sorry the lot, but actually probably both It'll be the longest list that I've ever made and my longest reviews have been lists, so it'll probably be the longest Video on my entire channel so that's what I'm working on stay tuned I love you guys Thank you so much. So you patrons on whichever side. I don't know if the cameras flipped or not, I guess They're over here. I don't know. Thank you guys so much, and I'll catch you on the flipside
Adum’s videos are peak Mealtime content.
It’s a work of sheer Breenius.
IMDBreen
I keep coming back to this one.
It's kinda hard to eat a meal while watching a video from a guy that thinks it's OK to fuck animals. Like morally it's alright to fuck animals because artificial insemination exists. I don't even know how he came up with that.