Why Narcissists Cheat And How They Get Away With It

[Music] hi and welcome to thriver TV the place to break free from narcissistic abuse with quantum tools and understandings and I'm in a different set because I'm now doing major renovations at the place that I was at it's gonna be torn apart soon so I'm going to be doing filming from here for a while and you can see that Tiggy is here with me as well which is just beautiful so let's jump straight into this thriver TV episode because this is a topic that so many people dealing with the narcissist encounter infidelity and the reasons for this are simple psychopathy which is an inherent sickness of narcissism means that somebody has the inability to respect and care for the moral code of others conscience is lacking and there's no guilt associated with lying and cheating because the narcissist is operating merely on their own behalf to fulfill their own agenda so quite simply narcissists are selfish they're entitled and they're all about themselves they don't care about what they do to other people they simply care about how their life may be affected if they are caught attention from other lovers is one of the favored ways that our narcissus can seek narcissistic supply which is the acclaim and significance to feed the false self to make it feel important to have affairs and sex sexual stimulation outside of committed relationships requires pathological lying which is why a sociopathic person is totally capable of doing that including straight to another person's face narcissus feel like they can't survive on their own they need another person to have their false and non-existent self mirror back to them and a relationship offers that no matter how sick and distorted it is to have another in their life to allow them to believe that they are significant and they feel alive because when alone narcissus cannot escape the engulfing of their inner wounds so we may think that this desire for another constantly is about love but truly it isn't it's about addiction and neediness it's about having as constant a source of narcissistic supply as possible which includes fulfilling a sex addiction which of course the primary partner can't meet sufficiently keeping feeding the narcissistic ego to help it always feel propped up hence why outside sexual partners are sought now let's have a look at this topic about something feeling off there is something icky and unsavory when we're with narcissistic partners sexually that makes us feel uneasy many of them have come from histories of infidelity and they may profess that this is not how they operate today and also they may bragged about how they have had many sexual partners throughout their life here are some things to definitely look out for lack of integrity in other areas of life where they say barefaced lies to people like clients or family or friends to make excuses or get out of something or cover their tracks for selfish non caring behavior towards others sexual ization meaning that this person makes you feel objectified does he or she regularly make comments about your sexual or body parts and comments on your looks often rather than connecting to your person's soul and emotions in ways that nourish your spirit ignoring what you're doing connecting to or what matters to you and tending to have conversations about your physical attributes or sex instead trying to have sex with you when you're not in the mood without connecting to your first and enduring and loving ways making comments during sex that feel off and even disgusting to you losing sexual response when having slow tender sex and needing rough hard or erotic sex to stay stimulated wanting sex with you when you're sick or tired or for example after you've had major surgery with no regard for your health well-being or feelings keeping and watching pornography of previous lovers making dossiers of women and keeping albums and files on them like trophies including explicit and intimate photos refusing to take personal responsibility for their sexually pushy or objectifying behavior constantly questioning your fidelity which is pathological jealousy or believing that you would never stray because there is no better man or woman than what they are and they and you and they believe that you would never look elsewhere that's grandiosity ability to start dating straight away after a breakup or the death of a partner with no time taken out to heal mourn or reflect the truth is if this stuff is going on you're going to feel switched off and empty after sex with a person like this unless of course you're struggling with your own love or sex addictions whereby the sex may feel very lustful and their face therefore satisfying to you even though we fraught with threats of others the more you're in your heart and spiritual center the less fulfilling it will be for you the narcissist need to seek lust which is food for the ego to be satisfied with sex is unlikely to be satisfying for you and you're gonna start switching off as a result of being objectified and then you're not going to be able to satisfy the narcissist and this is where new and extra curriculum partners are required to satisfy this urge rest assured however even if the sex does seem incredible this is in no way a reason for a narcissist to not stray their ego is a greedy and insatiable entity so let's have a look at this topic we feel unsafe and unsure of what is the truth narcissists are generally very skilled at cheating and covering their tracks they will say whatever they need to to make you believe that your gut feelings are wrong and they will hide information they will do things like put lovers under names that would never be suspected in their phones as well as lock down certain information and details many narcissists who have been playing there's infidelity games for decades they may also profess that they always tell you the truth even though you might have caught them out on Lies if a person grandstands to you I've never lied to you when you've caught them out on lies make no mistake this person is a sociopath they have zero ability to take personal responsibility and face up to the fact that they have lied and trust needs to be regained the narcissist is not interested in doing this they're only interested in telling you what they wish to in order to keep operating as they do in their delusional version of reality it can be very easy to doubt yourself when someone is looking you straight in the eye and professing that they have nothing to hide and that you've nothing to worry about when you're twisting gut tells you otherwise you know this person is capable of lying as you've seen them do it in other areas of their life and you know that they struggle with accountability taking personal responsibility and being sorry for their actions that hurt others why would they have a conscience regarding extra sexual activity the truth is if this person is a narcissist they don't additionally it's likely that you know this person has a history of sexuality that's unsavory and you know that they've disregarded people as objects in the past quite possibly this person has left you feeling like this yourself maybe they've pushed sex on you when you weren't well maybe they've ejaculated inside you without permission or done things like that this is what I believe that when we've done work on ourselves and we are with people who have a conscience and intact integrity we feel safe those who we know have poor integrity feel very unsafe from an infidelity perspective to be with and really why wouldn't they if they can lie about other things so easily and are able to mind people for their own agendas why wouldn't that extend into the arena of sex it's very likely that it does I love this thing when we need to become a detective in our relationship it is clearly in trouble I couldn't agree more let's have a look at hoovering after identity after infidelity sorry so many people have been through the narcissus promising that he or she will never cheat again however if this person doesn't have integrity or a conscience and isn't fully remorseful and taking complete ownership of what they've done and feels entitled to be forgiven have it forgotten and just move on which narcissus do then it will happen again narcissism is full of boundary-pushing if a narcissist knows that they can get away with something and you will forgive then they will just get smarter about how to cover it up next time even if he or she deep try to be faithful for time the narcissist in a fractures and distorted wiring the cause of them the sickness of narcissism will reappear and the narcissus would be powerless to stop their need to procure narcissistic supply from others again it's an addiction and if never healed addictions when so let's have a look at projection after cheating normal non narcissistic people after screwing up and get caught out getting caught out they tell the truth they're remorseful and they cop it's sweet they don't twist and turn and line up the person accusing them with projections the ability to do this is totally sociopathic and pathological and it goes like this lie told after lie to cover their tracks then you being accused of being paranoid or cheating yourself and this is the reason why the narcissist wants to break it off with you maybe the narcissus grandstands that is all to do with the people from your past and your unhear wounds as to why you can't trust the narcissist meaning it's your issue and nothing at all to do with the narcissist suspicious behavior this is where many narcissists tricked their partners in to relinquish anair boundaries making them doubt themselves and think that it's them even though their inner sirens are screaming this is such a recipe for abuse and one that is beyond dangerous emotionally mentally and spiritually as well as physically obviously you're exposing yourself to a host of sexually transmitted diseases to continue a relationship with this person narcissus often don't practice safe sex to stay connected with a narcissist after this means that you won't have the right to question or check up if something doesn't feel right your boundaries and rights in the relationship are further eroded as usual self-esteem and sanity this is totally my suggestion if you distrust the narcissist be strong and assert your right to have proof that the narcissist story is credible check check up ask people and don't fear looking stupid be prepared to lose it all including the relationship if you don't have your needs met which means no proof no truth you can't continue a relationship without it once Trust has been threatened refuse to be put off the track of receiving or finding out the truth the narcissist will try to bring up every other subject to divert you and get you off topic don't allow it a true and honorable partner who cares about you will allow this and will have nothing to hide it's only people with something to hide who are resistant to this I had an experience with an ex sociopathic partner when he went missing wouldn't answer his phone and then called me half an hour later from the echo chamber of a toilet he apparently was having a drink with a friend who he refused to verify and he would like would not allow me to meet them both for drink this alibi turned out to not even be in the country at the time which I discovered when ringing the wife's workplace then when he realized he was caught out on that lie which he previously defended with explicit lie after lie the story changed to not even meeting up with anyone going for a drive instead to think and then dropping in a pub by himself for a drink and then returning my call from the toilet for privacy please really yet I knew this was also lies previously I'd asked his housemate about that night and he told me the sociopath had rushed down a roast chicken dinner that his housemaid had cooked him because he was running late to meet someone for drinks at 7:00 p.m. if I hadn't had the facts I may have doubted myself and I may have caved into his persistent and brutal insistence that I had huge problems with paranoia and he was a hundred percent telling me the truth both times of course and always had of course which in itself which in itself was not true infidelity about ex girlfriend pornography that he promised was deleted had previously happened as well as other things thank goodness I did enough self-healing and power under my belt at the time to cut the relationship immediately go no contact and never look back I'm relaying this story to you for a very good reason to save your soul if you're put into a similar position once we know someone is capable of cheating lying and projecting which may even include accusing you of cheating this person is drastically unhealthy to be with that is what gnosis is do and how they behave and all of us deserve so much better so in closing my absolute suggestion to you is to choose healthy people with credibility and integrity and who take responsibility for their actions and who care about and support others this person may have been previously sexually exploited if but who are they now do they tell the truth do their actions match the words do they care about the well-being of others are they generous instead of doing life in relation to what they can get those are lovely indications of people who are unlikely to cheat don't stay in relationships with people who lack integrity not only will you not respect these people but you also won't feel safe to be with them and it's likely you'll end up suffering what your gut was telling you all along we think we can change people into being decent people but who they are at their core is who they are at their core if your gut goes off then reserve your right to ask investigate and seek the truth if this person resists and refuses and projects then truly be a detective you may be supplied with exactly the truth that sets you free even if you don't receive the proof get out things are only going to get worse so I hope this video has helped empower you and get clearer and please know I understand how hard it is when we're hooked in to let go of somebody who we desperately need to end it with and this is where my inner transformational resources can help you so much granting you the inner chef to get strong enough to end the torture get away and stay away from cheating narcissists and help you heal yourself enough to align with decent real people with wholesome sexual morals and true integrity so to get this process started you can sign up for my free 16 day recovery course as well as receive the invitation to my workshop which will give you powerful relief and you can access this by clicking the link at the top right at this video and if you want to see more videos make sure you like and subscribe so you get notified as soon as each new video is released so until next time keep smiling keep healing and keep thriving because there's nothing else to do lots of love bye bye [Music]

Channel: Melanie Tonia Evans

Views: 128,326

Keywords: narcissist, cheating, narcissistic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, cheating boyfriend, cheating partner, cheating wife, cheating husband, cheating husband signs, cheating husband prank, cheating boyfriend advice, hoovering narcissist tactics, narcissist and child support, cheating partners revenge, psychopath, flying monkeys, narcissist infidelity

Id: FC7GM47DWA4

Length: 19min 2sec (1142 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 04 2018