What Happens When You Go No Contact with Narcissists

if you don't know what to expect from a narcissist a psychopath or another manipulator when you go no contact you could easily fall into the trap in this video I'm gonna give you five things to expect from the narcissist or other manipulator and five things to expect from yourself things going on inside of you so that you can prepare for that you can set yourself up for success and you could be sure to not fall into that trap I want to also remind you to check out my playlist of videos on no contact you can see the link in the upper screen of the video this is Meredith Miller and you're listening to the inner integration YouTube channel where you can learn how to self heal after narcissistic abuse so here are the five things to expect from the narcissist now these are mostly forms of hoovering if you don't know what that is yet check out the link in the upper corner of the video screen so you can find out more about hoovering the very first one is escalation expect that the manipulator will escalate their attempts to try to get your attention even if that person was unavailable before they were giving you the silent treatment and then you go no contact all of a sudden they have all this extra time and availability and they're trying really hard to get your attention they're gonna do that sweet mean back and forth the love bombing the devaluation that's gonna escalate in an attempt to provoke your anxiety and to suck you back in number two is the blame shift this is when they try to make you doubt they try to make you feel guilty with guilt-tripping they try to get you to take responsibility for the problem now if you want to know more about the false guilt that can come up when you go no-contact check out the video that i've linked in the upper corner the blame shift will sound like you're crazy and no one will believe you or you've got a lot of problems or you need therapy you need to see a psychiatrist or it must be really hard to be in a relationship with you or no one else will ever be able to tolerate you they'll call you abusive and selfish for setting boundaries they'll tell you that other people think that you're crazy or something is wrong with you and usually that's made up they'll even say things like you just can't let go of the past when in reality you kept trying to talk about the past because that person couldn't accept self responsibility for their actions number three is they will play dumb they'll cause you to doubt your reality they'll use gaslighting tactics like I just don't remember or I don't know what I did that was so bad they'll maybe claim that they just don't understand why you're so upset or even say that they just want to talk which is all a way of sucking you back into that conversation and back into the abuse dynamic number four is the smear campaign now that's when they talk to other people they're recruiting flying monkeys they're trying to discredit you so that your truth is discredited they will use overt character assassination attempts or they will take the more covert way of acting concerned about you now if you want to know how to handle that smear campaign like a boss check out the link that I've put in the upper corner of the video in number five is triangulation that's when they start parading their new supply around you either in person and real life or online they're going to try to provoke your insecurities they're gonna try to provoke jealousy they're gonna try to provoke your doubtfulness you might even be asking yourself questions like was it me are they happy now is that person better than me now I want to talk about the five things that are gonna be going on inside of you when you go no contact because these things you really want to look out for so that you don't go back into the denial or the self-sabotage number one is that first month of no tact is utter torture it is horrible you're going through the withdrawal of all the feelings that you had from the love bombing of all the things that were going on you got really used to that it's gonna feel like something is really wrong as you're setting this boundary of no contact stick with the boundary number two is an overwhelming sense of anxiety and it could cause you to want to reach out to the narcissist or manipulator to relieve that anxiety don't do that do healthy things for your anxiety like exercise even taking a brisk walk for thirty minutes walking like you're running late can be really helpful to clear that anxiety or use Solfeggio frequencies you can look that up on YouTube particularly for one seven Hertz that's the cleansing of negative energies this is really powerful vibrational technology it will help you relieve that anxiety number three you could experience a crushing sense of self-doubt and guilt so check out that video that I recently did on guilt I put the link up in the upper corner so you can see why do not hold on to that guilt do not let that false guilt get in there as you're trying to maintain no contact because that could drive you towards the denial and towards getting back into contact number four is obsession and rumination you're gonna be obsessing about the abuser ruminating on all the things that happen it's really important that you redirect that towards educating yourself start devouring books and videos and everything you can to learn why it happened who that person was why they did what they did and you can put labels on there so that you start to relieve this feeling of what was it what was going on that's what causes the obsession and rumination as you can put those labels on there it starts to relieve you from that and number five you're gonna have a desire for stalking them that could be online doing drive-bys go by places where you know they're gonna be that's like a recon mission where you're doing reconnaissance you're trying to find out are they with someone else are they happy what's going on in their life don't do that redirect yourself towards educating yourself towards learning everything that you can don't go there because chances are you're gonna see something that you can't unsee you're gonna hear something that you can't unhear and you're gonna reach Ramat eyes yourself in that process you want to avoid that reach Ramat ization at all costs you want to hold that boundary of no contact do not get sucked back in because if you go back in it's going to be much worse than it was before and every time that you go back it's gonna be worse than it was before I hope this video helped you to understand what to expect when you're going no contact if it did give it a like share something in the comments below that could help inspire other people that could help illuminate the path that they're facing right now if you've already gone through no contact you've noticed these struggles and you overcame them I'm sending you a big hug

Channel: Inner Integration

Views: 99,478

Rating: 4.954905 out of 5

Keywords: no contact, no contact narcissist, no contact narcissist mother, no contact narcissist parent, no contact narcissist ex girlfriend, no contact narcissistic family, leaving the narcissist, leaving the narcissist for good, leaving the narcissist before the discard, going no contact, going no contact with a narcissist, going no contact with family, narcissist, npd, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic discard, narcissistic rage

Id: 13MhOO_e8oc

Length: 7min 28sec (448 seconds)

Published: Sat May 25 2019