NO CONTACT WITH NARCISSISTS AND TOXIC PEOPLE.

[Music] hi youtubers my name is Kevin thank you so much for watching my channel this video is gonna be all about going no contact with people who you love this is probably one of the most difficult decisions that you could make specifically we're going to be talking about when to go no contact because there is a point in time and you're going to have to make a decision either continue down this path of emotional trauma and hurt and pain in your life or take another road okay and we're gonna talk about that so there's when there's also why you're going no contact this is gonna be a big one guys because it may not be the reason you think going no contact is not about them it's not about punishment for them it's not about getting even it's not about turning your back it's not about playing you know quiet or any of that stuff it's about you and this reason that you're going no contact has to be very strong it has to be a strong reason you have to have that strong why and taking responsibility for the choice that you're making going no contact and then lastly we're going to be talking about how to go no contact because there is specific things that you need to be doing and being careful that you pay attention to when you go no contact you you can believe you're going no contact but really not be going no contact and you're gonna keep yourself stuck in an insane cycle of being attached to the trauma and trying to fix the problem I thought the best way to present this to you would be by using a demonstration an illustration using water so this cup of water represents you you are designed to be brilliant and to be tasty and to be good to people you're designed to pour your unique gifts and qualities and life into other people so that they can they can benefit from you okay this is how you are meant to be there are going to come people in our life which unfortunately are not going to on the inside be this clean and clear and pure life that that that should be poured into you okay and over time you're gonna start to get a little bit of you're gonna get a little bit of them inside of you the first point I want to talk about is the win when do you go no contact so you've been in this relationship right you met and you've already started to receive a little bit of their gunk okay it started out with maybe some small insults here and there some passive-aggressive comments maybe some just sarcasm but it started to get you a little bit gunked-up on the inside okay and so you're now gonna start to try and fix the problem so you're gonna pour into this individual but it doesn't work and you go back and forth and what's happening is the more you go back and forth you're looking more like them what's even worse is that now other people in your life who were pure the way you were at one time maybe your parents or maybe your best friends or maybe past relationships now when you approach them and you start talking to them guess what happens when you start complaining and crying about the relationship you're in you don't know what to do okay now if these individuals are smart which in my case I've seen that they are they're gonna see that something very dark and something's wrong with you okay they're out of there you're so full of hurt and anger and bitterness now that you can only give out of that place so this is the time the decision when you're at this place this is the fork in the road you realize that you're in a hopeless position with the narcissist or the the toxic relationship it's not going to look the way you want it to look you're hurt you're filled with anger you're bitter and you no longer look the way you hoped you would look this is the fork in the road you can continue on in the relationship knowing that it's more of this and I promise you it will lead to your destruction or you can now make the choice to go no contact now this is scary because like I said you're sacrificing what you wanted you're sacrificing the hope that there's gonna be change in this individual but there isn't the only hope for this individual by the way is if this individual goes and clears all that muck out there's no way at this point that you can do it you're too full of muck yourself now okay so you have to take this person out of the out of the question now and now you're just focusing on you it's just you what do you want to do this is the win the time is now at this point you started to to chase off your good friends people who loved you because you started to pour some of your toxicity into them okay and you are in a relationship that you have been defeated and there's no hope in it changing this is the time okay now let's talk about the next point the why the why the why should you go no contact this ties into this perfectly now you have to have out strong why okay you're not doing it as punishment okay this isn't no contact doesn't mean you're just you're turning your back because you're still going to be connected and as long as you're still connected if you're playing this game with them I'm going to turn my back and I'm not gonna give you the silent treatment I'm not going to talk to you all you're doing is you're pouring into them and they're pouring right back into you okay it's not the silent treatment okay I'm gonna put this guy down again this isn't this is a decision to go no contact to cut them out to disconnect from them okay the Y has to be because you are so tired of being hurt angry and bitter the Y has to be because you look in the mirror now and you don't recognize who you see anymore the Y has to be because on the inside you feel so lucky and so messy that you don't know if you want to live this is why but you know that you have value you know that there's a better person you recall the clarity and the pureness that you once had this has to be your why this is taking so responsibility sole responsibility for your own health your own wellness your own spiritual mental and physical health you deserve to get back to your pureness you deserve to get yourself cleansed of this muck you have to now work to get this out took a long time to get it in probably you have to work to get it out so now let's talk about the how how do you go no-contact because this is now going to talk about what you're doing now that you've chosen to take the no-contact route if once you choose to take that that fork and see what's down that path first thing you have to realize this no contact means no contact to the fullest extent this means that if if you are if it's a dating relationship it means if you have to change your phone number you change your number okay you have to change your email you change your email all right social media get off of it don't fall into the trap that I did I went no contact from my wife's family only to stay friends on social media listen let me tell you what you're gonna experience when you go no contact you are gonna be already having Wars in your head okay just because you've left their presence doesn't mean you have left the trauma the trauma is in you do you see all that muck that is now you right so you don't even have to be in their presence anymore to be to deal with the effects of what they did to you you now have this on your own as you walk around okay don't add to the fire by looking at them on Facebook and just seeing what they're up to sending out little messages hoping to see if they're changing or hoping to see if they're thinking of you nothing I found that for me personally when it came to my wife's brothers and sisters and and my desire to be involved in the family I had to literally close down my social media accounts my facebook because I I couldn't help but stay away I kept thinking man if only I could just reach them or something and I couldn't okay and at the same time I was dealing with all this all this gunk okay so close down your Facebook for a while disconnect and besides social media is a place where you know so much abuse happens anyways it's not a good place when you are dealing with this it's not a good place to be social media is not healthy it is not social media platforms are a medium guys it's a medium to to receive don't think social media don't think for a minute that all it is is just a computer screen to look at it is a medium you receive through the medium of social media this is a fact you don't believe me look up the statistics of how many teams and kids and people have committed suicide over things that were told them through social media cyberbullying it is a medium okay so if you are on social media with the narcissist that you just want no contact from or if you're on social media with mutual friends with them then you are not going no contact you are still in contact with them and you have to look at it that way so it's got to be the first stuff to go get rid of it go no contact no contact means no content don't drive by their house don't go to the same spots that you used to go to you have to take the opposite way the opposite fork so now where do you go and what do you do now it's possible to get the healing that you want it's possible to get the you back that you were before the narcissistic relationship but what you have to do is you have to now take yourself and you have to find yourself going to get help maybe from a counselor from a support group somebody who is stronger and is has purity and understands it period for any length of time and understands what you have been through more importantly somebody who when you express what you've been through can listen to it and it doesn't affect them at all and you can pour more into them and it doesn't affect them this person is strong and they know what you've been through and they're listening to you and you can pour and pour and pour all your turmoil into them and they listen to you and then in exchange over time maybe this is a support group maybe it's a church group maybe you need to find God maybe it's a counselor it doesn't matter who it is but it's somebody who understands what you're going through and can listen to you and not judge you and understand what you've been through and not tell you that you're wrong that's what you need and then you need to open up and allow them to pour into you and when they pour into you you've changed you're filled you're filled back up with the clarity with your purpose your back to who you were before it's a painful long experience of getting out all that gunk pouring it out into people who understand you can pour it out and if you don't have people you can pour out too you can pour out to me you can pour your stuff out to me and I will listen to you because I know what you've been through and I will pour back into you just like I just demonstrated right now pour it into you from my heart how valuable how amazing how creative everything that you are now the goal with this is to get back to the the you the you that you know you are the you that you are destined to be that does not mean that we are not gonna come across gunky people narcissistic ugly people in this life again but what happens is since you have been through the process and since you have recovered and since you have refilled yourself and found your purpose and now you're getting on with your life now you know better after this process of going no contact you know better and now when so-and-so gunk comes along and they tried pouring their gunk back into you again it has no effect on you and they can keep pouring and it has no effect on them this is where you want to be guys not changing them you want to know how to get even with the narcissist become like this they pour into you and nothing happens you're immune you're immune to their dirtiness this is how you get even with narcissists no other way you can't fight yuk with yuk that's just a pig fest but you can fight yuk by being immune to it this video guys is not meant to tell you not to be loving to people okay what it's trying to get across to you my point is is to get you to understand that you need to love yourself first not in a narcissistic way to where you have no empathy or concern but love yourself enough that when narcissists come knocking on your door you're immune to them that's loving yourself [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: The Royal We

Views: 433,261

Rating: 4.9301476 out of 5

Keywords: no contact, NO CONTACT RULE, NO CONTACT WITH A NARCISSIST, GOING NO CONTACT WITH A NARCISSIST, GOING NO CONTACT WITH FAMILY, GOING NO CONTACT WITH SIBLINGS, GOING NO CONTACT WITH MOTHER, GOING NO CONTACT WITH NARCISSIST PARENTS, DONT WRESTLE WITH PIGS, HEALING FROM NARCISSISM, how to go no contact, when to go no contact, how to leave narcissistic abuse, how to go no contact from narcissistic abuse, HOW TO BEAT THE NARCISSISTS, DETACHING FROM NARCISSISTS

Id: 3RkLvglGKCQ

Length: 16min 18sec (978 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 30 2017