Things Narcissists Do When They Think No One Is Looking

hello this is kim syed of kim saeed calm welcome to my youtube channel where i teach you about narcissistic abuse but more importantly how to heal your life in powerful ways if that's something that you're interested in go ahead and click the subscribe button so you will be notified whenever i publish a new video because if you don't you'll never know so in today's video i'm going to be covering 13 unsettling things narcissists do when they think they're all alone if you've spent any amount of time in a relationship with a narcissist you've probably wondered what they do with themselves when they're all alone if we're going to be sophisticated about it we have to consider that they do a lot of the same things that we do that are conducive to maintaining a certain amount of livelihood things like going to work getting their car serviced and going to doctor's appointments but aside from those harmless undertakings is when things turn very bleak if you've recently left a romantic relationship with a narcissist you might be consumed with missing them and wondering if he or she has the same feelings of loss and sorrow perhaps you hope there's even a chance to rekindle the relationship possibly having convinced yourself that they must be feeling the same way or if they're a family member maybe you're holding space for them to come around by virtue if you're being related by blood perhaps they'll finally have that emotional epiphany you've put your life on hold for right if you want the raw unedited truth that's not what's going on in the narcissist mind at all narcissists rarely ever admit to it but all of your worst fears regarding your relationship are playing out just under the radar of your awareness you know that ever-present vague sense of dread you have in the pit stomach wondering if they're lying or telling the truth that's your intuition which can cause physical sensations in the body our gut feelings are called that for a reason the gut can work independently of any control by the brain in your head it's actually functioning as a second brain if you want to read more about that you can read the full article on my website by clicking on the description box below this video my job here is to give you a breakdown of what the narcissist in your life employing very specific techniques of psychological depravity does when they think no one is looking hidden secrets that would literally bring you to your knees [Music] I'm going to map out the 13 most common things narcissists do when they think no one is looking the possibilities on this topic are endless but the following is only a sampling of the ones I'm most familiar with some of which I personally experienced don't say I didn't warn you things narcissists do when they think no one is looking 1 go through your personal things narcissists are constantly doing things that they will eventually be confronted with therefore they spend inordinate amounts of time trying to dig up the most miniscule piece of incriminating evidence against you so that they'll have ammunition when they are finally caught many times what they find incriminating it's just a figment of their imagination or even completely fabricated for example I used to work in the banking industry for years before I left to become a teacher and later to create this space for narcissistic abuse recovering as a bank employee I wore suits which required me to wear pantyhose one day I accidentally tore a hole in a pair of them and discarded them in the trash my ex during his regular dirt diving practice found them and confronted me with them accusing me of having been unfaithful of course he was entirely wrong but you might imagine how it turned out long story short narcissists engage in sneaky underhanded behaviors every day in many cases they think other people are like them but just better at hiding it in other cases they simply want to have something to throw in your face when you discover they're still doing that thing they promised you they'd stop doing number two create numerous dating profiles not all narcissists cheat but than do the ones who don't tend to be of the Cerebral kind and simply do not enjoy having these kinds of relations with other people but if the narcissist you know is attractive extroverted and likes being the center of attention it is very likely they are doing things that you would be horrified to learn about narcissists have a track record of being serial cheaters this explains why they generally have their cell phones on lockdown leave the room when certain calls come in and are oddly obsessed with a text exchange as you're sitting down to dinner during your anniversary and if you caught them doing this don't be fooled by their seeming attempt to earn back your trust it doesn't matter if they let you go through their phone if they've secured a secret line behind your back if it feels weird you're probably on to something don't ignore your gut on this one number three try to get in touch with their exes on social media imagine this scenario you're sitting at your work desk in to sign to call your partner whom you suspect as a narcissist to check in and get a feel for how things are going they seem fairly friendly and the two of you make plans for dinner in a movie that night you hang up feeling relieved and begin to think your recent arguments were probably just normal relationship issues you feel slightly elated thinking about how the evening will unfold the narcissist however hangs up and goes back to liking their ex's Facebook and Instagram photos the two of you have been arguing a lot lately due to their relationship crimes so they have to line up another source or two of narcissistic supply to have as a backup for when you finally come to your senses and give them the much-needed boot moral of the story never trust that the narcissist will be a decent person ever number four visit websites of very dubious merit since the media powers that be are now filtering and blocking certain terms and phrases I'm unable to express the exact terminology I'd like to use here but suffice it to say that many narcissists went alone spend hours on websites of very dubious merit sites that would break your heart and devastate you for weeks on end if you're in a romantic relationship with them if you have discovered your narcissistic partner has been visiting such sites you can bet with 99% certainty that he or she also has online dating profiles and is probably hooking up with other people behind your back at the very least they're likely engaging in things via the internet with people they've met online that would make you feel unwell number 5 trying to turn your family and friends against you contrary to popular belief the narcissists smear campaign doesn't always begin just after your breakup in many cases it's been alive and well for some time you just weren't aware of it the reason everyone now runs in the opposite direction from you or at the very least looks at you with a raised eyebrow is that the narcissist has been smearing your reputation since before the relationship even ended this is to preserve the false image they've portrayed all along unfortunately they're often very successful at doing this if your friends or family have suddenly started pulling back or questioning your judgment the narcissist has likely planted the seeds of doubt in their minds so if they openly side with the narcissist when you begin sharing your relationship struggles it's time to start whittling down your inner circle number 6 plants by where on your devices or install hidden cameras in your shared residence this can happen in a few different ways if you're dealing with the narcissist don't assume that they're not smart enough to track you online I've seen so many people make this assumption and then they were shocked to discover later that the narcissist had been monitoring them all along if you suspect you're dealing with a narcissist don't accept the phone from them that they have set up for you using their cellular account if you do you can assume they've set it up to track you number seven sabotage your finances I've lost count of the number of people I've worked with in my coaching practice who've been financially devastated because they gave in to the narcissist seemingly genuine requests to give them a loan start a business together open joint accounts or buy a house or vacation home together another scheme that falls into this category is they're asking you for your support while they are unemployed these schemes are all designed to break the seal so to speak in the area of financial matters so they can take shocking liberties later such as getting loans in your name taking out a second mortgage on your home without your knowledge not paying IRS taxes resulting in your possible confinement in jail or forcing you to get all the utilities and insurances in your name so you'll have to pay for them all if you've been having problems in your relationship and believe your partner is a narcissist it would be in your best interest to avoid mingling your finances in any way number eight spy on you so we already covered spyware and tracking apps that the narcissist might use to keep tabs on you however many narcissists will literally stalk you so they can see what you're up to when they're not with you again if you'd like to read the full article and get some examples of stalking you can do that by clicking on the link below this video number nine flirt with your best friend or even you adult children when it comes to narcissistic cheaters no one is off-limits in fact narcissists often derive a twisted sense of accomplishment if they can get your best friend or adult child interested in them so imagine you're at work and it's the narcissists day off you think everything is relatively calm and you feel a spark of emotional safety suddenly you get a call from your best friend and they give you the very devastating news that the narcissist has made a pass at them maybe your friend has experienced a string of failed relationships or they've recently gone through a difficult divorce vulnerability makes it person a prime target in the narcissist mind and this may well include your best friend my best advice never trust the narcissist alone with your friends or family members number 10 planned secret rendezvous with their side supply speaking in very general terms when a narcissist has an out-of-town trip planned whether for work or for their third cousin's wedding there is a strong likelihood that they will meet their side supply there or even take him or her with them narcissists are creatures of economy and rarely pass up an opportunity to groom supply they are perpetually trolling for and grooming new targets even though they always have a main source of narcissistic supply furthermore they are continuously ending relationships for various reasons especially with those who require a lot of maintenance or damage control therefore they have to fill in the gaps left by those they discarded by securing new supply sources so those work trips the narcissist always goes on they could very well be genuine but don't be surprised when the new supply calls you asking who you are and what you're doing calling the narcissist number 11 Hoover old sources of supply or their exes narcissists typically don't let go of their exes completely unless their excess completely let go of them they've been known to contact old flames out of the blue sometimes as long as 10 years post breakup not all narcissists do this but most do when a person has passed a litmus test for being good supply narcissists literally can't help themselves and will often reach out in an attempt to resurrect old relationships albeit one-sided ones this explains why you may have noticed how the narcissists in your life likes to remain friends with their exes or maybe you've broken up and the narcissist wants to be friends with you this gives them an N if they ever need to cycle back around you've probably read a hundred times how narcissist leave relationships and then swan dive right into a new one this probably happened in the aftermath of your own relationship with a narcissist the main reason this happens is because narcissists don't bond with people not romantically not traumatically at least not for them nor matrimonial II we form these bonds with narcissists but they're not able to form emotional bonds with us due to their lack of empathy and inability to attach to others another reason narcissists are able to form relationships so quickly is that in many cases the relationship isn't so new if you'll remember from earlier narcissists are always combing for fresh sources of narcissistic supply because of this most narcissists are perpetually in various stages of relationship with other people from the shiny newbie supply to those who are enduring varying levels of the narcissistic abuse cycle therefore when they showcase the new supply on their social media accounts it's usually not when they've just met though narcissists are often very skilled in making it appear so number 13 emotional abuse of partners and spouses if you've ended a romantic relationship with a narcissist you probably saw them out and about loving up on the new partner and seemingly having the best time of their life you might see them flashing an engagement ring on social media and sending out save-the-date notifications broadcasting how silly in love they are and giggling about how they feel like a couple of teenagers your first reaction might be to wonder what this new person has that you don't just maybe the narcissist had been right about you all along perhaps you really are the reason your relationship with them didn't work out then you feel completely disabled by the seeming about-face the narcissist has made with the new supply sending you into a depression so deep you can barely make it through the day as personal and unique as it all may feel it's just another blueprint narcissistic manipulation when you see this happening it's crucial not to take it personally this is one of the narcissist favorite times when their love bombing new supply while simultaneously making you feel like discarded trash the narcissist can't help but gloat over how they're able to make you feel emotionally destroyed left to pick up the pieces while they're off living their life as though your history together means nothing what you're not thinking about is how the new supply will be subject to the same emotional abuse that you've endured there are no exceptions to this don't listen to this new trend of so-called professional advice which states that narcissists are only abusive towards you because your personality is incompatible with theirs which is on my list of stupid therapists say narcissists are abusive towards everyone regardless of status ethnicity intelligence religious beliefs or how tiny their waist is the new supply simply won't be spared unfortunately for them healing from the trauma of narcissistic abuse it's absolutely crucial to come to terms with the unsettling things narcissists do when they think no one is looking so you can make educated decisions for your future and your well-being don't let yourself fall into a false sense of security because the narcissist knows what to say to soften your defenses and make you doubt your judgment pay attention to patterns because patterns never lie with the right support you'll be shocked how amazing it feels when you can flourish on the other side of abuse and heal your life in ways you never thought possible if you found this video educational please like it and share it with your friends and don't forget to check the description box below this video so you can find all the helpful resources I've put down in there for you thank you so much for watching and I'll see you in the next video you

Channel: Mental Gentle with Kim Saeed

Views: 482,011

Keywords: things narcissists do, narcissistic personality disorder relationships, narcissistic traits list, narcissistic personality disorder example, narcissistic abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery program, narcissistic abuse cycle, narcissistic abuse victim syndrome, narcissistic abuse syndrome, kim saeed narcissist, kim saeed videos, kim saeed no contact, mental health awareness, how to spot a narcissist in 3 minutes

Id: JW6wAsOZeRY

Length: 19min 33sec (1173 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 11 2019