What the HELL is Sir Billi? (An Inappropriate Kids Movie)

just press the blue lever to lure him to your deck [Music] i'ma just cut to the chase this movie sucks bad animation bad story just bad everything but there are two things that make this film stand out from the norm first off its tone for a kids movie there sure are a lot of adult references [Music] the other thing that makes this film stand out from the norm is a certain somebody who was part of the production and his name bong yep Sean Connery because who else is better to star in a kid's movie than this guy and let me tell you the people behind this film were proud of that fact you could make a drinking game out of all of the meta Sean Connery references alright so let's talk about the origin of this movie the people behind its creation or Sasha and Tessa Hartman wait could it be no way no the intellectual property that is Sir Billy belongs to Sasha and Tessa and comes across as their creative love child as far as I can tell it was originally a book called sir Billy in the vet but I could not find said book anywhere on the Internet but that doesn't matter it was time to make a movie in cash in on Sean's dead career for those who don't know Sean was once James Bond and was one of the most popular actors in Hollywood over the years though he passed up a major roles that range from Lord of the Rings to the matrix but the roles that he did say yes to were typically bad and did not do so well critically or financially the guy eventually retired but was offered the role of sir belly in the early 2000s apparently this was worthy of coming out of retirement for I could only imagine that this was due to the movie being a massive ego stroke and the likely chance that Sean was being paid quite handsomely from what I can tell the guy cares a lot about money the people that makes Rick you know the picture they must be kicking themselves at they haven't got your dulcet tones on their movie and here's this love week this film from Scott and getting made with your with your voice oh yeah I could only imagine that Disney and DreamWorks really regret passing this one up the film itself had a long and difficult production that lasted many years and saw a high turnover with animators the Hartman's also pushed the film as something that Scotland should be proud of as an original animated movie that represents the country well let's just say another movie came out around the same time of sir Billy's release that wasn't made in Scotland but was a much better representation of Scotland a princess should not place her weapon on the table but mom it's just a medal [Music] all right so let's go over my five points dialogue boy is it weird there are moments where Shawn just goes off and threatens to beat somebody up and I'm gonna be honest it seems pretty accurate of the way that Shawn actually is you didn't interview in which you said the worst thing to slap a woman now and then as I remember you said you don't do it with a clenched fist it's better to do it with an open hand I haven't changed my opinion editing some of the cuts are bizarre but the thing that stands out to me the most is the audio it sounds how do I describe this metallicky like some kind of filters were put on the audio and it does not work and it especially sounds bad on Sean speaking of audio voice acting not only is the audio bad a quality wise but also in its delivery you can tell that Sean phoned this one in and did not care he mumbles his words he doesn't sound very enthusiastic and this overall tone comes across as tired story the pacing of the movie doesn't make any sense for example they build a sense of urgency with one of the characters being in danger of drowning and said that the character needs immediate help following that it takes the rest of the characters like 10 minutes to actually do anything it's infuriating I [ __ ] you not they hold a town committee before acting that's like seeing someone's house on fire and spending the next half hour debating with others on what to do also this movie is littered with Sean Connery references and every time one is said it just takes me out of the film [Music] you are gravy ugly and finally animation the character models are very unappealing and look like they belong in back to the barnyard but in that shows defense at least it was clever and the animation somewhat works with the feel of the cartoon here it has none of the charm and is just off-putting and don't even get me started on the female designs they all have exaggerated features especially with their curves in chest massive breasts to go with their ugly faces okay so we started off with this awful logo I mean just look at the design what's the thought process here this yeshivas face it to the be whatever the guys who made this movie really wanted to ride the coattails of Sean Connery and his previous role as James Bond and how did they do this well by making their own version of a James Bond intro you know what that means silhouettes of sexy girls this does not work especially for a kids movie it feels so sexually charged with all of the voluptuous ladies shaking their bodies across the screen and mind you one of these girls the one the glasses is Sir Billy's daughter I guess he's guess he's cool with that go up there sweetie and shake your crown for daddy oh and what movie would be complete without Sean Connery doing skateboard tricks you know cuz cuz why the hell not okay so the movie actually starts and we're soaring across the Scottish Highlands we then hear Sean Connery talk and my god does he sound bad like I don't know how to explain it his voice is like robotic II and and tired more like a shitty film so Sean shuts up and we zoom in on and I quote an illegal animals deportation camp there we have some Scottish cops loading up a shipment of talking beavers what so we learned that beavers have been made illegal in Scotland and these guys are trying to get rid of them I've eaten the meat from the tail and the paws and I must tell you yes my TJ's okay so this is a problem that I have with movies that feature animals that are basically humanoid like where's the line do humans eat them or are they considered equals cuz as far as I'm concerned this guy's a cannibal so they start to drive but the truck tips over letting loose some of the beavers and I gotta say it was a pretty nasty crash yeah they probably are okay so there's this wee bit of animation where the cops open the door of the truck and the truck driver is like out-of-focus but the cops aren't like what the hell is that about so one of the Beavers hides from the cop and is found by this ugly-ass bunny instead we then leading to the next scene where we've been told that it's been five years later and that the rest of the beaver is in Scotland were sent to Norway we then meet this awful character a duck who flies a plane and sounds like she's southern but not really and if you couldn't tell we're in a Scottish town honestly though they don't give us much evidence to figure that out again is this a kids movie because that jiggling makes me think otherwise so the cop is still looking for the beaver as it remains at large but who cares because we finally get to meet Sean Connery a local hero who goes by the name of Billy and works as an animal veterinarian he's been a long time since I've been undercover okay so I want to take a quick moment to highlight this scene behold the Scottish flag beautiful proud center stage and then you have the British flag ripped worn thrown into the background makes you kind of wonder if the folks who made this movie harbor any kind of resentment for the British [Applause] we then meet Billy's goat friend Gordon an anthro character who for some reason wears a jumpsuit that looks like uma thurman's from Kill Bill kind of ironic with his name being Billy but I doubt that was intentional what is this goat [ __ ] dogs just uh just got to keep shoving those references and don't you guys Oh gross what the [ __ ] is this guy's character wait he pissed himself how he's wearing a jumpsuit again what the hell is this guy is he a pet a friend a piece of [ __ ] so Billy goes off to school to pick up his grandson Jake so belly in the Sun arrived into town and we meet the love interest of the movie alright so I'm confused is Billy actually James Bond in retirement cuz the movie sure makes it seem that way also most of the kids watching this film won't get these references maybe their parents might but that's about it I mean there's nothing wrong with making references but the movie goes too far at times like we get it Sean Connery played James Bond stop bringing it up also what the hell's going on here is this some topless lady smack in her chest the kid noticed and so did I so we cut back to the beaver hanging out with some bunnies as they head to some kind of sporting event so the sporting event that they're at is log sledding honestly I wouldn't be surprised if this was an actual thing in Scotland I mean they do log throwing so it's not to impossible so the bunny gets jealous of the beaver and tries to outdo her but fails horribly he's then hanging on to a cliff for dear life I love the reaction of the beaver when she runs up she's like what's going on oh my god so the bunny's fall and are now floating downstream the beaver jumps into action and tries to save them but she does a horrible job she basically swims right past her mother like look she's like oh don't worry mom you're okay and just hang on the edge of that water don't let your lifeless body drown I guess that you could say that their waterlogged and I guess you could say that their water law we then cut back to Billy who and I [ __ ] you not hits a bunny with his car and then billy gets angry at the bunny you think you're doing but the bunny explains to Billy the situation and honestly it's the most infuriating thing ever she goes on and on and on about the problem a problem that in my eyes is quite time-sensitive and then Billy takes his time to address it like guys they're probably dead by now we need to move faster people yeah you do too bad for the bunny you're doing the complete opposite we don't catch them before they reach the dam [Music] we think at the scene where Billy awkwardly threatens the police officer which would be illegal I would imagine but nope Billy just goes on and on with the cop and it actually sounds like a real confrontation with how weird the dialogue is I wouldn't be surprised if they wired Sean Connery and recorded him yelling at an actual police officer we cut back to Billy and his friends at the river as they find the Beavers mom we then get a lesson about paralysis and how a broken spine might mean permanent damage which you know is a good thing to learn but it kind of stops the flow of the movie Billy's all like let me tell you all for the next few minutes about nerve damage and how to tell if someone's a paraplegic by the way it's been about 12 minutes an actual movie time since they found out about the emergency and they still haven't gotten down to the river like I said before is this a kids movie because that upskirt shot really makes you wonder goddamn dude calm down okay so the people who made this movie really had a thing for girls with big tits I mean seriously every single woman in this film has a massive rack but when you look at their faces oh [ __ ] are they bad from the check out this scene can you guess which of the characters is the generic nerd okay so a couple of things first off that ass second why the puns they really have no connection with the characters or the movie at all they're just random puns one for pizza and one for claiming supplies we then see Billy get pissed off and demand that the damned her Bynes be shut down but oh no the cop has arrived and told Billy did not interfere but Billy and his goat jump into action they're able to rescue the bunny but they couldn't get to the beaver also the duck decides to run her plane into the helicopter because why the hell not ok so I love this next part so the beaver is dragged into the metal grate and Billy screams out No Bessie but then the audio layers over to the beaver screaming so when you watch it in its entirety it sounds like Billy's voice cracks so the goats traps a bungee cord on and jumps down to save the beaver which is god damn impressive I mean the timing to pull this off is just insane but then Gordon falls into the water and starts to float downstream what a [ __ ] so they're able to get Gordon and they lift him out of the water but then out of nowhere a god damn Russian nuclear powered submarine emerges in before a Hunt for Red October reference look he heard that emergency whistle called it okay so this duck just said the word ass in the kids movie and also acknowledged that the submarine is Soviet considering that it's been nearly thirty years since the end of the Soviet Union you just been underwater the entire time comrade didn't get the memo okay so she just made a James Bond joke so is he just fictional or not god I hate these references [Music] holy [ __ ] that's impressive you think that grabbing on would break his arms or at the very least rip the skin off his hands wait why does this goat have hands [Music] [Music] so Gordon is knocked out and Billy wonders if he's dead we think of this random ass memory lane montage of the two and it doesn't make any sense why is Gordon strip teasing in a kids movie why are they recreating a scene from Rocky and check it out it's the book Sean Connery read after signing up to make this movie so the duck has some kind of healing water and throws it at Billy so Gordon survives because he drank booze the cop then steals the beaver and takes off but Billy goes after them how does he do this you should know by now he takes his James Bond car of course then the most outrageous part of this movie happens Billy takes to a skateboard and goes after the cop Billy then lands on the car or and starts to fight the cop as they make their way into a military base cuz why the hell not so the cop tries to get Billy arrested - which Billy once again threatens to beat the police officer give me five but the joke's on the cop he gets arrested and that's that by the way this beaver has been crying throughout the entire movie like I can't think of a single scene where she wasn't crying [Music] what the actual [ __ ] does that mean [Music] [Music] we then get a music number two reference James Bond one more time gotta milk those lady character models for all they're worth you know the ones with the ugly faces and huge tits oh my god are they doing all the single ladies first Johnny's dad and now this and to finish things off we got Billy hitting on a lady who was practically the same age as his daughter his daughter even comments on this and in a very weird way oh man my dad's dating a girl younger than me and I'm very envious of her massive knockers [ __ ] this movie it's bad why did you decide to meet this well well because it was so original really an exceptional cast and this one is good for three-year-olds to any age for the kids I believe its first class so yeah this movie sucked I mean it wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen and there are a handful of redeeming qualities but not nearly enough to make this film worth watching unless you want to laugh at how bad it is this was a pitiful movie that suffered from a difficult production and it's very evident in the final product the Hartman's were just trying to cash in on Sean Connery's dead career and pulled his corpse out of the grave to make it so they practically referenced every famous movie the guy was in and very little of it actually had to do with the plot of the movie it was just hey here's a Sean Connery acting reference cuz he's the star of our film I mean imagine if Pixar did the same thing in Toy Story and brought up movies Tom Hanks was in [Music] references do not make a movie and neither does shitty animation and so ends the acting career for one of the most influential actors in movie history good riddance [Music] hey guys thanks for watching the video if you liked it give it a like and sub for more future videos also a shout out to all of my supporters on patreon if you want to support my content go hit up the link in the description alright thanks again for watching and I'll see you guys next time [Music] [Music]

Channel: Saberspark

Views: 1,947,071

Rating: 4.9337974 out of 5

Keywords: what the hell, saberspark, saber, review, sir billi, what the hell is, animation, bad animation, bad animated, sean connery, guardian of the highlands, dirty kids movie, dirty, inappropriate kids movie, inappropriate, kids movie, billi

Id: FtFXBi7uxIw

Length: 26min 54sec (1614 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 30 2018