What the HELL is El Arca de Noe? (Furry Noah's Ark)

hey you are so greedy such fun mmm if only we could spend a little more time together especially at night and you all thought that sheep in wolves was a weird video let me tell you folks about El ARCA day Noah otherwise known as Noah's Ark 2007 off the bat you can tell that this movie is very different compared to every other Noah's Ark movie out there which is a surprising amount to be honest and they all have a broad range in flavor you got cute and cartoony comedy action fantasy but this one stands out for a very special reason instead of having exclusively normal animals you have some that are anthropomorphic and I mean really anthro for long legs hips and chest you can tell that the people who made this movie really enjoy their busty cat girls [Music] outside of the character designs the most interesting thing about the film is that it's not terrible I'm so used to reviewing stuff that's absolute trash but I wouldn't put this movie in that category I mean it's not perfect but there's some talent that went into this film and I think that it's worth talking about especially since a certain family-friendly company has ties to it can you guess which one [Music] that's right looks like Mickey Mouse has more of a furry than we originally thought boy Avista International has a section of Disney that distributes films and that's the case here for Noah's Ark and it goes even further Disney actually bought the production studio that made this film back in 2007 so technically Disney owns the movie - not all of it but some of it the studio behind the movie goes by the name of Pat agonic film group and a station out of Argentina they were founded in 1996 and are behind quite a few movies such as condor cruz and the hairy tooth fairy you would cyst on keeping childrens excitement alive they grow up and everyone knows what the grown-ups do right they poison us like the sheep in wolves movie we see anthropomorphic characters at play here which is the most unique element about the movie I don't think I've ever seen this premise before with a Noah's Ark story but I feel that they really don't do anything with it like you have some answer animals but they just come across as sexually charged and that's it I feel that they could have done so much more but nope also the animals and their designs are all over the place there's actually a scene where you have an anthropomorphic ball right next to an actual ball and it doesn't make any sense the last thing about this movie and that stands out is that it has a censored version the original came out in 2007 and features quite a few mature jokes that range from sex to drug use in 2014 a version of the movie was released on DVD via shout Factory and it was toned down the best part about this is reading the reviews for the movie on Amazon you have all of these upset Christian families who thought that they bought a cute movie for their kids this is a terrible movie that I would have never purchased had I seen better previews the title makes you think the story has a Christian outline however is more of the joke upon the true story of Noah and the flood you'd be better off with VeggieTales trust me on this there were animals kissing provocative female characters references to sex God was lethargic and bugged by having to tend to Noah there were he went stowaways on the ark this movie is absolutely terrible and I can't imagine who the intended audience was supposed to be it's not cute funny amusing clever or in any way close to being historically accurate but it was the clean version I tried my best to find a high-quality version of the original but this was the best I could find just like my son of Aladdin video I had to re-edit the movie to include the mature jokes I mean it's the best part of the film and it's the main reason why I'm reviewing this in the first place so let's check it out I'll be back in a minute darling we start off with an intro that is very quick paced [Music] when I first saw this I couldn't figure out what was going on why was it so fast what's even happening but according to a source each character on the screen represents one of the seven deadly sins pride Envy sloth lust gluttony wrath and greed but really I wouldn't have known this unless someone pointed it out to me like connecting the dots here is quite the stretch especially for kids what's that Timmy you don't know your seven deadly sins well let us show you we didn't find ourselves in the marketplace with our friends from the last scene after that were introduced to God and one of his angels as they walked the streets and see how bad humanity has gotten look at what they've done with the world a storehouse of evil and greed we had better deal with this and it's very ruse I think a bunch of hookers were just winking at God by the way I like what they did with God in this movie it's definitely a unique design with him being dark-skinned and large most God interpretations are the same so this was refreshing his voice though [Music] we shall see there still may be some hope for them we then meet Noah we learned that he's a good guy who was kind and optimistic his family though not so much we will always be fine if we stay together like we are a family yes one big family none of his sons really believe in him and especially his daughters-in-law it is a question of age no it must be dealt with and for some reason they all have really wacky accents you got a Southern drawl some kind of British accents and then someone from New York Noah's wife is a bit better but I swear there's a scene in the movie where she tries to break up with him every way this you know better than anyone but sometimes I feel that perhaps we're on difference hands and we don't realize that but Noah is called by God and is told to build an ark I'm going to send a flood did you say flood yes a torrential rain that will flood everything I know what a fart is Noah's family learns about the flood and I gotta say I love how his wife responds to everything father said he spoke with God today in the forest really and what did he say that he was gonna send down a flood a flood you say yep that's a rancher rain that will flood everything I know what a flood is Jeff at so that means we're all going to die so no one gets to work on the ark and sells his home to these side characters finally a summer house I really don't care for these two they stick around for the remainder of the movie and get into pointless shenanigans like my grandfather used to say if at first you don't succeed cheat again poor soul his partner killed him oh really what a pity something that I like about this movie is how the flood is a way for God to make his Bible more interesting as in he feels that his book isn't as exciting as other religious texts and I think that's hilarious look at this it's Buddha's book it has wonderful pictures and this one is in Chinese it's got more than 800 pages and just look at the cover so when will ours be ready well sir we're just at the beginning there the first chapters at this point you're probably wondering when the anthropomorphic characters are gonna show up well right now and it hits you like a slap to the face [Music] this is the first scene that I had to edit into the clean version of the movie I think it's pretty obvious why they left it out after this scene the pace picks up and it's a roller coaster of animals [Music] we are then introduced to our main character Prince zero he's giving a massage from what I can only conclude is a gay orangutan what's this it looks like a letter oh no it's more like junk mail they just don't know what to do to get people's attention but don't you worry about a thing just relax your this scene was also left out of the movie I guess someone touching your butt is inappropriate but this is a problem as there's an important part of the story here you see zero only gets half of the message and he's under the impression that the arc is some kind of cruise for couples he has no idea of that the world is ending they leave this part out of the clean version because I don't know I guess him talking about multiplying was too much for the censors even though that is the reason why the animals are going onto the ark in the first place to learn to love each other so yeah the clean version of the film leaves out this important plot point zero is supposed to be confused in the original story but in the censored version he comes across as negligent and cruel I swear dad I shall never forgive you a quick side note I love that the gay orangutan who looks a lot like King Louie was picked for the ark that's absolutely hilarious to me talk about a logistical oversight and you're coming to right but of course I wouldn't miss this for the world but isn't this a couple's thing haven't you met her so the animals all meet up to talk about the ark and what's happening there is so much to take in from this scene first off some of these animals who showed up to this meeting are gonna be disappointed because they are going on the ark I see at least what five elephants in this audience so the Lion King tells the other animals about the Ark and how they were invited and by mankind to send two of each creature onto the boat constructed we then have this wonderful scene where we see some mythical creatures who say they don't believe in Noah and that they think that this is some elaborate trick to hunt them down man has always been our natural enemy let's not be naive if you respond to this call you will surely find your heads hung over a mantelpiece next winter something else worth noting here or the animal designs themselves we have creatures that look like actual animals we have creatures that look like animals but walk like humans and then we have creatures that are straight-up human-animal hybrids the designs are all over the place and it's somewhat off-putting and confusing you and following a stroll so then we have another scene that was left out of the censored version of the film Xero is complaining to his parents and that none of his girlfriend's he picked her going on the ship with him all of my suggestions have been rejected it must be a good reason well of course there is would you like to hear them newbee big boobs no brains Bruma too thin no brains nibbler too hippy too busty and no brains God this movie so the animals are heading to the ark and Xero is travelling with a girlfriend he wanted they aren't even at the boat yet and they're already getting busy along with him has an assistant named Tyrell didn't they say couples only precisely they said couples not a third wheel you know let's just pause here for a moment check out these character designs this girl has the largest hips I've ever seen on a character then we got this girl who has a melon shaped head oh it looks awful and she doesn't even know what impeachable means out of respect for the person who accompanies her I shall abstain from formulating a reply to a wholly unimpeachably woman Noah finally completes the ark and good lord is it impressive the people who made this model also feel the same way cuz we spend the next minute just staring at the thing mark Section four animals with 1,300 double cabinets plus five towers for the birds so the animals are ready to get on the ark but the herbivores demand that the Predators promise not to eat any of them we want to guarantee that the Predators are not going to devour us during the trip real quick check out some of these background characters they are rough and why is he's clinically does promise not to eat any of the prey this is not the time for internal conflicts that sooner or later end badly we have the opportunity to forge a new world let's do it based on respect and tolerance I say here that if any of us so much as touches one of our brothers I myself will give him his rightful punishment Noah then walks up to the animals and welcomes them to the ark then something happens that really doesn't make any sense to me we're told that the animals aren't allowed to talk to humans this is why nothing would make me happier than for you to decide the board our our can come along with us on this amazing adventure in peace as a represent why wouldn't life be so much easier if you could not only talk but work alongside mankind you're bipedal you have thumbs you can talk why not use that never mind this movie does not know what it wants to be it would have made more sense if they were just animals who can't communicate with humans in the first place they tried to talk to me all the time all they hear is pika pika you can hear him right the storm finally arrives and the animal Stampede onto the ark in the process zeros girlfriend decides to mock Carell one more time but in a freak accident gets killed by a hippo and I mean it it's a real freak accident and you not only you're a busybody or strong and standar any longer [Music] I lost my balance my feet are so tired well there goes the sweet and tender future mother of my children so now Kayal but to get on to the ark everybody who wasn't on board is now dead except for these two annoying characters who sneak on board God then chimes in and his angel gives them a rundown of the cost of the flood special effects just called and they said so much rain and in the desert no less it's going to cost a fortune tell them it's fine it will have been worth the effort even a God has to watch his movie budget we then cut to the animals who are going into their cabins we even get a shot of a donkey who just finished having sex with a deer [Music] so Kovu Toxie Chiara oops my bad zero talks to corral and tells her that he doesn't want to hang out cuz he's a douche anyway if we give each other a little time I'm still very young and also I might lose my image as king if I don't show myself in the right company are you insinuating I'm not good enough for you well I wasn't exactly referring to being good enough it's it's more a question of of wait you see it's not so much about what you are but rather of what you aren't we then go to this club scene which includes one of the most sexually charged moments in the film we were petrified to think the world that we once knew was gone you always left to carry on can you imagine the look on the parents who bought this movie for their kids and they walk in and see them watching this [Music] so a couple of things first off this character has a melon head too but is also rocking out this big hair that looks like it's from Jersey Shore next the song she's singing is literally about eating other animals and nobody seems to care except for like the pig we then learn about the Predators and how they have a plan to capture all of the herbivores how they want to put them into farms make them fat and then eat them up we even get a disturbing cutscene that explains this and a different animation style the food will run to us when we get to dry land we will take the animals to a place where we can choose the ones we want to fatten them up until the time comes for the sacrif [Music] so the Panther character who was cleverly called pansy starts to hit on zero and get some drunk and one of the most stimulating things about governing is to find ones capability for giving for example all the food is given to me for free should learn to relax a little you know chiral then freaks out coz zero opened a bar and gets angry that zero isn't taking things seriously you're signed an authorization so they can open a bar we then see zero finally reading the rest of the note and he realizes that he messed up that this isn't a pleasure cruise and he has to be better but in the censored version we never see this so it just comes across as an ignorant jerk we think cut back to these worthless characters who decided to disguise themselves as animals so they could hide on the ark they then accidentally see the Predators talking about their plan and they freaked out [Music] hmm they smell like humans and they look absolutely proposing yes so zero was trying to be a better King and is hearing out suggestions from his people by the way they cut out a certain part of this can you guess which one this movie really is something else we didn't see Noah's family and how they're growing restless how they want to take over the boat and eat the animals on board no man you are not shutting me up here for 40 days in the middle of this pond feeding and cleaning up after those animals Pantheon basically tells zero that she's super horny and that zero can hit her up whenever he once mm-hmm if only we could spend a little more time together especially at night when I'm overcome by such a deep melancholy what was that call me if you need me I don't need to call the door to my heart and to my room or wide open nose family finally snaps and tries to eat the disguised humans Noah intervenes but falls into the ship with everyone assuming that he's dead [Music] zero then goes in the panties room and we get some bedroom eyes I've been waiting for you we need to talk it's kind of funny because immediately after this we got God saying that he wants to keep his book family friendly which is pretty hilarious timing considering what just happened I'm not sure if that was an intentional part of the movie but who cares be careful there must be suitable for all ages we then discover that zero was framed pan feasts as that he ate a creature and broke the truce between predators and prey [Music] zero is then tossed into jail and the tiger monologues and shares has a nefarious plot even hints that he might bank I rel which is kind of rapey you'll get yours that's just what I wanted to talk to you about oh I'll get mine alright then maybe I'll get yours too dude that's creepy we then cut back to Noah's wife who tells the family that they should be praying for guidance of course when they're in trouble that remember I exist the other animals figure out that zero was set up and free him zero then confesses his love to Cairo which comes straight out of nowhere I mean they're supposed to hook up and have babies but honestly I never really saw a connection between the two so this love thing it doesn't really feel genuine at all what's worse they then go and confront the bad guys and how do they do this by performing what I think is called a haka if some kind of Maori wardens that some sports team still perform today [Music] [Applause] needless to say this came out of left field even the tiger sounds dumbfounded to the tiger and zero have a fight with a bit of music that sounds like a ripped off version of I of the tiger look we even get some blood but the fight comes to a screeching halt as the Arg hits an iceberg and the animals try to get off the boat but zero lets out a mighty roar and tries to establish order [Music] come back there is no place to go and we don't have any food I have a suggestion one let's eat the bread again I just want take a moment to look at these wack-ass background characters we got emotional gopher we got bears zebra thing and then there's a fun whale oh my god that's enough God have finally decides to turn off the water but the ark has stuck in the ice Zira has the idea to use fire and tar to melt their way out before they do though we have this wonderful bed or Noah and zero lock eyes which I can only imagine what be terrifying for Noah I mean he's staring at a lion holding a torch zero then throws the torch like a football player as it flies about a thousand feet [Music] oh and these two decide to jump off the ship and are left in the Arctic like a bunch of idiots the animals that have a massive party because why not and we see all of the critters celebrate we even get some cage dancing from [Music] to wrap things up zero gives Khairallah kiss and we get our rainbow from God and that's it angel you left the rainbow on I'm so sorry Lord I think here at the end we learn an important lesson and that's how Noah's Ark is a logistical nightmare that should not feature fairy characters shaking their ass and a kids movie [Music] okay so let's go over my five points story so it's based on a Bible story and has a unique twist and it's interesting seeing it from the animals perspective but I feel that they drop the ball here the characters are obnoxious and I only like one of them being Cairo also the way the clean version is cut makes the main character look terrible I mean he's already bad enough but without this piece of info he goes from unknowingly dim-witted to being straight-up negligent you'll be there's so many prerequisites for taking a trip who's in charge of this ridiculously amusing dialogue again the full version makes much more sense with what's going on with the story but even then it's clunky the way the characters talk to each other make many of them insanely unlikable I need to have my bacon for breakfast you know one less piggy won't make much of a difference will it boy sakteng nothing great really not a single character really grabbed my attention from their voice if anything most of them did the opposite especially Noah's family again why why is there a New Yorker on the ark whatever God provides will be enough editing it's badly mixed with some characters talking over each other now it's nothing horrendous but it's nothing to write home about it's just the man my faithful animals have responded wouldn't they respond to such a generous fare and dashing Kings yes and old and finally the animation it's not bad there are parts of the movie that look quite competent or dare I say good the arc itself is quite impressive and the movie knows it that's why we stare at the 3d model for almost a minute some of the characters have good designs like Noah and I liked what they did with God but then you have these anthro characters who just look ugly no not all of them are terrible but a good chunk of them are especially the anthro female characters why do they all have melon heads and funky hair it's distractingly bad but we will only do this if we can learn to trust one another too bad you will never get to see that world in conclusion this movie showed promise there was obvious talent that went into its production and it shows but it absolutely fails in major ways that harm the overall quality of the film things that you can't ignore or shake off from unpleasant characters with obtuse designs two story inconsistencies and plot points Noah's Ark had potential but couldn't make the final cut even with the full version I think the film would have been much better if they stuck her with a style make all of the animals anthro or none of them also focus more on the animals and their relationship with mankind I don't care about these characters they're boring I'm much more interested in the talking lions and the animal kingdom's relationship with humans but that never really happens but there's something that keeps me up at night something that I cannot figure out why are so many of the shows and films that I review feature talking lions why is this a thing and why is it so common are you for us [Music] Oh God [Music] hey guys thanks for watching the video if you liked it give it a like and sub for more future videos also a shout out to all of my supporters on patreon if you want to support my content go hit up the link in the description alright thanks again for watching and I'll see you guys next time [Music]

Channel: Saberspark

Views: 4,869,798

Rating: 4.8481746 out of 5

Keywords: what the hell, saberspark, saber, review, el arca de noe, noah's ark 2007, noah's ark, furry bible story, furry, furbait, fursona, animation, what the hell is, anthro, anthropomorphic, animals, bible, christian, furry bible movie, argentina, patagonik film group, el arca

Id: g6tOwxk0d-Q

Length: 34min 53sec (2093 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 24 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/AutoModerator]

If this post showcases moral/mental/physical corruption or perversion, upvote this comment. If this post does not belong here, downvote this comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/wooferlover696]

The YouTuber that made this is a movie reviewer called Saberspark and he actually makes good content

[u/Jom_Jom4]

destroy it, cast it into the fire!

[u/Epiphemeral]

Time to build a third ark, hop over, and then burn the bridge.

[u/dudjjfj]

Burn the boat

[u/wordproblemapologist]

No! Nnoooooo!

[u/SuperiorSalsaCriolla]

"Sorry" -Argentina

[u/steverman555]

Fuck the ark we need to move to mars