What’s the DUMBEST thing a player rolled for and Succeeded? #1

ladies and gentlemen boys and girls brian von va back at it again with another juicy one that i think all of you will like dms what is one of the dumbest things a player has rolled for and succeeded part one a little background one of the party's first missions was to save a halfling man from the dungeon in the starting town which was taken over by an orc tribe they of course took this to the next level starting an uprising against the orcs with the townsfolk first which led to them only finishing this when they finished the starting town ridding it of orcs after a celebration the ranger escaped in the night player left we miss him dearly and the party decided to hunt him down the next day following clues from a note he left behind saying he was going home by way of seaside the port city eye so creatively named the first thing they find when leaving the city is the halfling man they saved and a friend fishing of course the party questioned him to get a lead on where the ranger went he was not a good liar and obviously knew what direction he went but wasn't going to tell as he had been paid not to by the ranger he was apologetic about it and everything yet what my barbarian did next was just cruel she picked him up and started shaking him rolled poorly on intimidation and then said i want to toss him into the pond i had her roll strength nat 20. the nicest most apologetic goofy halfling guy who honestly really liked the party was thrown like a rock that skipped over the water before sinking she has since tossed three more halflings and refers to tossing the halfling as an innuendo i like that not the dm but the player who caused the role we were fighting a boss in a dungeon and a dragon turtle flanked us and broke the bridge we took to enter the room our wizard was on the bridge launching spells into the room when the dragon turtle broke through it it made its bite attacks against him and drowned him in a single round our wizard was now unconscious and still hanging out of the dragon turtle's mouth our druid tried to pull him out of its mouth but failed the strength check at this point it seemed like our wizard would be killed by the turtle and had no chance of escaping this fate in a last attempt to find some way to keep him from being eaten i asked how does he taste our dm then had the wizard player roll percentile to see how good he tasted he ruled 99. the dm told us he tasted pretty damn good luckily for him the turtle was more interested in killing our party and spit him out so he could try to use its breath on the rest of us a player got his fingers cut off when he decided to try and assassinate his arch nemesis and they decided because one of the party had medical proficiency and doctor in his name that he could reattach his fingers they refused to move until they got them back on and they didn't get a single roll below a 19 for the whole procedure and i made it brutal they just kept rolling higher eventually i relented but now his fingers hurt horribly each time he uses the hand no time for character development oh no but one hour table time for finger surgery in a world with no knowledge of nerve endings or anesthesia that's actually really really cool i have a player who can shape-shift between his dog form and his human form one day while they're camping and preparing to go into a tomb the dog player thought hey wouldn't it be funny if my dog instincts kicked in for this druid and mastiff form and attempted to have nature take its course he said he'll approach without the druid noticing rolled a two for a grand total of five the druid noticed him approaching with ill intent and turned back into a dwarf he rolled a perception check and rolled one to notice the transformation and went for the leg then he rolled a nat 20 constitution check and dragged the interaction to uncomfortable proportions he got whacked on the nose a bunch by the druid but we didn't care as we were laughing our asses off for five minutes i have a list of these but i will say the two at the top of said list so i was the dm running hot dq for a group of mostly beginners but the most important characters in this are the half orc barbarian who is the half brother of the half-elf sorcerer that's a lot of halfs and then the human wizard there was also a warlock and a fighter but they didn't do anything that would get them put in this story barbarian asked the sorcerer for his dagger then tells me that he wants to throw it at the dragon i said sure despite the dragon being more than 60 feet away which i had mentioned quite a few times guess who no longer had a dagger the second story happens later on in the campaign they were all tracking the dragon cultists and got attacked from 20 feet up the barbarian wizard and sorcerer whispered to each other i rolled to throw the sorcerer up the hill the barbarian said in a calm voice um you roll strength sorcerer roll either dexterity or acrobatics the barbarian succeeded ah the sorcerer failed i would like to throw the wizard up the barbarian set on his next turn i told them what type of checks to do the barbarians succeeded wizard failed the sorcerer had both legs broken but the wizard broke an arm and a leg i let their injuries heal between sessions just so they wouldn't need to be carried around abandoned camp full of bandits the whole session how many whetstones i could sell for a background it was my first adventure ever and during summer vacation as i was basically brain dead at the time i said i wouldn't buy one whetstone i would buy 100 whetstones to make one gold piece and just give the townspeople some free whetstones the entire party thought this was the single funniest thing in all their lives all i was trying to do was escape a little math and tried to convince the dm into letting them start a business of course he said no as he had spent months making the adventure we were playing as soon as we entered a town however i thought that a business would be amazing so i bought another 100 whetst stones or so and sprayed them with perfume to sell them for one silver piece each then the dm made me roll for how many i sold it was a 50 by the way tldr i made a whetstone business my friend plays as a blind dragonborn monk and he was stuck on the other side of the gorge with friend number two who has a lothaca bar i think i said that wrong i apologize taking the rope and trying to climb down with friend two on her back the rope snaps using his straight up hands to dig into the wall and slide down the sheetrock face as his only option i told him to roll for it he rolls a 12 being able to save both him and friend two's character from being unharmed as they were both level 2 and could have easily been killed by a fall that large not dm but one of the players so we are currently playing storm king's thunder we are in nightstone right now we had just gotten through the abandons by seducing their leader then a group of orcs manages to get into the city with elves chasing them we are only level 2 at this point our party is a male half work fighter a female tiefling bard a female tiefling wizard and a female asomar cleric so we were apparently supposed to be outnumbered by the orcs and the elves were supposed to save us but our bard knew the sleep spell so we cast sleep on the orcs and our party plugged our own ears the dm allowed this because he never expected us to actually succeed on that well the bard got the highest rolls she could possibly get everyone not part of the party fell asleep then the rest of the party dragged the orcs into a small area now the dm didn't fully read my character sheet well enough he thought i was a typical cleric and that i didn't have aoe spells normally i wouldn't as a cleric but i was a cleric of light i had a few fire spells that the orcs had no way of saving against and they were aoe spells too so q me and the wizard unleashing aoe spells and killing basically all the orcs our dm was dumbfounded we honestly were not supposed to be able to do that we were against about 20 orcs by all accounts we should have been down but due to a simple sleep spell we defeated them not the dm for this particular venture but the player who caused it the party was fighting a vampire and it was actually doing really well after a night of subpar rolls until the vampire decided to flee by turning into mist we didn't have a way to stop him so our cleric attempted divine intervention to stop him but that failed so i asked the dm if i could use the cleric as a phone line to talk to their god and try to get a second shot at intervention the dm thought the idea of my hot-headed sorcerer yelling at a god through one of his followers was vaguely amusing and said he'd allow it if i got a nat 20. you all know where this is going he rolled in at 20. i wish i could say it helped but the second divine intervention role failed as well and the vampire did escape that day we killed him several sessions later but this lunacy gave birth to the feat simply known as yell at god where my sorcerer can't give the cleric a second chance at divine intervention with a harder dc if he passes a dc 20 arcana check and yes this is always interpreted as the source we're yelling at gods using their followers as mediums leaving the gods so utterly baffled that they just go along with it a player shoved the local king off a balcony because the big bad evil guy needed his blood for a ritual the king grabbed the rope and the player was now surrounded by angry guards so the player climbed down to the king and attempted to convince him that he was trying to help him escape the city before it was overrun with the bbeg's minions one successful persuasion check later the player was back in the king's good graces i usually roll to swear if i roll in nat 20 i will get a blessing from the gods though i've only rolled that once if i roll very low my character will mutter my mom is ugly no wait it's your mom who is ugly my mom is not that ugly or well you're too stupid then my character speaks six languages so i can fit my swearing to the pcs and npcs around me i accidentally offended quite a lot especially when i got bad roles i usually roll to swear like five times a session second comment here but i just remembered the time i killed a red dragon with orc testicles follow me on this all right take me on this journey captain so we were playing a one shot and as you do in one shots in a low rope playing group you have to behave like a total psychopath somewhere along eating a whole cart of turnips and killing an old lady with a giant beer mug i acquired a pair of orc testicles later once we encountered the boss an ancient red dragon i hatched a plan lobbing the testicles into its mouth and casting enlarge i used the testicles to choke that thing out it somehow failed most of its con saves and even if he spat them out i shoved them right back in towards the end of the fight he was begging us to stop asking us to please just leave him alone even saying he would give us the kidnapped princess if we stopped he died with those balls in his mouth obligatory not the dm we get a lot of those but i was in a one shot with a couple of friends one of our party members wanted to try his hand at dming so he created a world where we were mercenary bounty hunters hired by a prison to track down some escaped convicts we found their camp and infiltrated rather our fighter named street vaulted the eight-foot wall and opened the door for us that's a whole another story though once there were three guys left street starts walking up to the second in command a tobaccy named baxter and starts telling him to surrender when the tabaxi refuses street swings his axe and asks again this happens three times before baxter surrenders but his friend is still fighting street says to order him to stop fighting to which baxter spits in his face in an amazing feat of strength street then hurls the tabaxi through the air and into the other guy and knocks them both clean out streen also tried this later on a rich aristocrat we rescued from that camp who wouldn't stop insulting us a lower roll meant that the tabaxi instead of hitting the aristocrat just got pelted against the wall and knocked out again it was really great imagining a six foot tall cat man flying through the air while yelling stop throwing me so i'm running the campaign rise of the drow a custom campaign funded on kickstarter and my group is pretty interesting one of my players is a half elf rogue from a wealthy elven noble family he's a friendly enough guy even if he's a bit of a space case who is pursuing a relationship with one of our other characters a tiefling cleric from a merchant family now for a bit of backstory our tiefling has a picture of what she looks like only she doesn't really look like that because she didn't have full plate armor in the game so they want to give her full plate armor which is 1 500 gold pieces and way out of her price range so our rogue comes up with a crazy plan he's going to ask the merchant if he can give him an iou for 1500 gold he wants to send a message to his family who again are wealthy nobles and can afford that much gold and have them send it to the merchant i'm the dm so i don't have to let him try this of course but i figure why not i give it a dc of 18 and say that he has to roll high on a persuasion check i figured he's from a noble family the merchant has possibly heard of them and knows they're good for it so i'll give him a chance what would have been funnier is if he actually rolled a nat 20 but he didn't he did roll high enough to beat dc so this merchant looks at him and is like yeah okay and gives her the armor on an iou basically saying that if he doesn't get his gold he'll send people after them the tiefling basically looks at him like he's crazy and says that he'd been laughed out of the shop if it were her father so yeah that's how our tiefling got a suit of plate armor because i was entirely too generous to our rogue our rogues player is a nice reasonable guy who didn't really think i let him do that so he said he'd never do that kind of thing again and i said i'd never let him do it again it's not the dumbest you'll find on this one but it's one of our favorite moments as a group because of how ridiculous it was and because i was more generous than i had to be the rogues player who also happens to dm the other campaign we're running gave my character in that campaign a draw ranger who favors archery a quiver of infinite arrows what a nice touch hey everyone brian von va here wishing you well and hoping you liked today's video if you did please give us a big fat thumbs up and if you're new here we encourage you to roll your d20 and use your bonus action to give us a subscribe too and make sure to follow mr ripper on his twitter and not only join his subreddit r mr ripper but check out his brand new safe for work discord group that isn't a dumpster fire links are all in the description below using your help action you can also check me out on youtube or twitter and even join my discord which will all be linked down there too today i had a little bit of a special positive message planned for everybody out there who are making friends in my discord and in mr rippers as well we've been working very hard for so long individually on making happy and safe environments where people around the world can just come together nerd out and make lasting friendships with other d d nerds both ripper and i value the idea of making friendships online and for me personally especially in these trying times where you can't do it in person it's all the more valuable to do so in a safe place so we hope you guys and gals out there can enjoy plenty of games together and that it takes away as much pain suffering and anxiety as possible especially given we know the school season is coming too so please check us both out make some new friends be nice to one another and be nice to yourselves too as you all deserve it all the love and we will see you next time bye for now

Channel: MrRipper

Views: 512,615

Rating: 4.9097147 out of 5

Keywords: DnDStories, DnD, DungeonsAndDragons, dnd stories, dungeons and dragons, ask reddit, dungeons & dragons, askreddit top posts, reddit stories, dnd, dnd 5e, dnd stories reddit, dungeon master, dnd campaigns, dm tips 5e, dungeons and dragons online, best of reddit, dungeons and dragons cartoon, dungeons & dragons florida edition, gm tips, role playing game, askreddit funny, d&d beyond, reddit funny, critical role, d&d 5e, rolling stats

Id: EsuZs1Q-HF0

Length: 17min 15sec (1035 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 21 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/RogerTheNekoDnD]

Well, not a DM, but, I remember being a day where we were in a field were we can't see any valuable (I was able to see everything since passive investigation 15) and one of the players wanted to investigate and I said there is nothing, and he rolled it anyway, and got a nat 20, and DM said all you found is two wooden swards that was used heavily for training.

[u/Dtectiv_Waffl]

So the party I was DM-ing was in the middle of a battle between an immortal Shadar-Kai Echo Knight and his whole army of cloned goliaths. A dragon came to assist them, but they were heavily outnumbered by this immortal knight's army. Everyone was able to escape the battlefield except for the Goliath Barbarian/Fighter, who found a cart of urns full of gold left behind in the army camp where they were. Instead of leaving with the party, he wanted to see if he could carry the heavy-as-sh*t cart all the way into the forest where the rest of the group was hiding.

He rolled a NAT 20.

He effortlessly lifts the cart without any movement speed impaired and uses his action surge to run all the way into the forest while dragging the damn cart with him.

[u/Quatrognome]

Was dm'ing a bunch of random level appropriate one shots as an intro to dnd for my family when one of the characters, a drow rogue named Joseph Mama, (3 guesses what he goes by and the first 2 don't count) and the other two in the group both human druids come across a dilapidated temple of a nature goddess surrounded by weeds...

So Joe is his infinite wisdom shouts I am going to smoke the weeds...he rolls a nat 20 then I have a chart of what to do when teenager happens and he rolled on the percentile dice and gets the roll for visited by a god. I think it was a 93. A 92 is lose a level due to amnesia and 94 is bond a familiar that you are allergic to(ignores class restrictions of course)

So now he is tripping hardcore and has a vision quest where he is marked with a mission by the Raven Queen. He has to collects lives and memories and has an ethereal raven that he can see through the eyes of, sometimes, but as he found out in the first combat stuff just flies through. He was really mad when he couldn't make the raven fly through a locked door but swords and arrows pass through the raven just fine.

On the bright side he is well on his way to fulfilling the memory requirement as he was partially turned to stone toward the end of the adventure when seeing through the eyes of the raven failed to see the giant undead basilisk just under the water.

So tl;dr teenager's character wanted to be dumb and smoke some weeds and accidentally became a servant of the Raven Queen and is slowly realizing her sense of humor as he repays a debt he may not have asked for but he certainly deserves

[u/Gaming4idiots]

During the days of 4th edition, we had a DM who wanted to fasttrack us through the system and get to level 30 just to try it out. However, one particular session night when he couldn't be there, one of our players did a session as DM with the rest of us. We did a one shot he made himself.I was playing a goliath Barbarian at the time. It was a fun game with lots of cool puzzels, atmosphere and we were playing right up until that point where all the adults with jobs start complaining that they need to get home. However, annoying little shit that I am, I said "but this is the last room" Turns out it was a final boss of the dungeon. We opened the door and a vampire slowly rose from his coffin atop a staircase. That was supposed to be a cliffhanger, but I knew next game our regular DM would be at the helm and this would not be picked up again.

He said ok, you roll a natural 20 right now, you win.I kissed my die, rolled and kablam. Nat 20. My barbarian ran up the stairs with his executioner's axe ready to strike and decapitated the vampire before he was even up. The End. All is good. Now go home.