What’s your funniest Dungeon_Master.exe has crashed moment? #2

hey everybody brian von va here we got a little doozy for you today what's your funniest dungeonmaster.exe has crashed moment part two i was dming a pathfinder game with my girlfriend and one of my sisters i was using a modified burning goblins module to start the campaign they reach the goblin tribe find three guards playing the fire puff game throw rock and fire biggest puff wins so my girlfriend asks if she can roll diplomacy to persuade the godless to let her join the game now because i'm an absolute idiot i basically let anything go as long as you can argue your case and pass a check i may make that check absurdly high but not completely impossible well with persuasion it's a counter role based on sense motive and i wasn't doing very great so the goblins let her play and she keeps picking up rocks and tossing them into various fires she said she wasn't trying to make a big puff and asked if that meant she didn't need to roll decks i let it go and just casually let her hit with the condition that they were all fairly small puffs she agrees and gets the goblins to trust her then she pulls out her necklace so my second mistake was letting them take one magic item of 3 000 or less at the start of the game it was mostly because my sister was fairly new and if they got in a pinch i wanted them to have something useful to help them get out of it my sister chose a magic sword with frost and tied it into her backstory because she was playing a white kobold my girlfriend the [ __ ] grabbed the level 2 necklace of fireball sounds like my girlfriend and i didn't question it because i trusted her to use it responsibly that was my third mistake never trust your girlfriend with fire so she asked to roll bluff i do terrible again and she says well it's just that all these big rocks are terrible the little ones are better then rolls sleight of hand i absolutely fail at goblin perception and she sneaks one of her 2d6 beads in to make a big boom goblins are impressed she rules diplomacy convincing the goblins that the entire tribe should come see i fail perception for the entire tribe and she eventually gets the chief to come out she makes a deal if she can make a bigger puff than the chief the chief tells her everything she wants to know he agrees tries and then her turn rolls around she rolls diplomacy to tell him to step away from the fire as she throws the rest of her beads in 6 d6 plus 2 4 d6 plus 2 d6 equals 16 d6 and fails for the first time and the chief gets caught in the blast i roll reflex he fails i roll damage get damn near max and just dial tone oh no did he die oh he totally died i gave up you have killed the chief the tribe 25ish goblins turn on you and i want to roll diplomacy you want to what for what she's a paladin with a starting charisma of 20 and maxed rank her diplomacy her diplomacy at level one was plus nine not that it mattered because she rolls a [ __ ] at 20. what do you say i want to suggest that maybe the gods have brought them a blessing their chief lost and died of his own incompetence perhaps they need a new chief ah better chief she gestures to my girlfriend chief bigboom we had to stop there for the night and we didn't play again for another 3 months joined a game and me and the other players were having a conversation we weren't even talking about politics but someone just said the word politics my gag reflex kicked in the dm not liking that concept went on a 10-minute rant about how much he hated politics mind you no one was arguing with him or even talking about politics to begin with he begins to freak the [ __ ] out all on his own screaming how communism and socialism is not a bad thing and getting himself heated we're all sitting there in shock watching this guy freak out good times glad it happened too the campaign i joined after that was 100 times better we ran a 5-20 campaign over the course of about a year we get to the final fight and due to some magical shenanigans he's a level 20 in every class with mimics of all of our items ideally a never-ending pull or hit points who can destroy us easily dm doesn't give him any legendary resistances i sing my song bard and my friend also bard cast feeble mind on him on our first turn he is far down the initiative due to some power gaming big bad evil guy rolls in one and cannot use any magical powers and practically becomes a wild animal that hits like a truck due to his 40 martial levels after an hour of hammering him with spells swords and the like dm illustrates him dying like a confused animal we ruined a lot of boss fights but he kept going with it tldr turned the big bad evil guy with every class level 20 into a brain dead animal and beat him to death fun times one of my players tried to cast speak with animals on the boss monster my brain died so hard i never expected that one the monster ended up being too aggressive to be reasoned with my players also kept saying things like i speak to the npc wearing the most red one of my friends also played a negro god that occasionally commented about you can guess what and nothing else that whole two shot hurt my head so so much we were playing dragon heist drow gunslingers run to the docks to jump on dragon turtle submarine and get away the sub attacks us with a steam breath weapon the drow opens the hatch but we kill them before they can get in so we get in and find two gnomes the gnomes are being paid to salvage this unique sub from the bottom of the bay so they're salvaging it right now yes how did the drow know it would be salvaged in time never mind the plot holes they attacked us you can give us the salvage rights or you can die well we can do that dm takes a week to search the module next session wizards of the coast didn't think of that so yes give me an intimidation check 19. the gnome is surprisingly unfazed by your empty threats i attack the gunner and use my last smite on him then turn back to the pilot i can kill you too but slowly intimidation with advantage 19 plus five so 24. the gnome wets himself and gives up so now we have a submarine yes what are we going to do with it we'll figure it out later but for now we stake our claim the party later talks the dragon down and claims the dragons and donates them to waterdeep claiming the finder's fee since we have all the faction leaders here i announced that we will be auctioning the sub to the leaders of the faction in a 10-day dm takes another week all the factions are present for the auction the first bid is for 15 000 gold we each talked to our factions to keep them bidding and all make persuasion checks with varied success i can i use persuasion or performance to goad the bidders as the auctioneer uh sure take your pick not to any dm rolls whiz saves for factions rolls initiative for the same scrolls for random amounts to add the bids the lords of waterdeep pay you the max value of an apparatus of qualish tldr party claimed dragon turtle submarine and double our take for the water deep dragon heist i've had a few of these in my 25 plus years of dming but two of my favorites in one of my a d d second edition games one of the players had his soul sucked out and trapped into a gem held by a wizard who was trying to become a lich i simply called him a half lich for simplicity as he had some minor lich abilities but wasn't fully transformed during a climactic battle on a high rooftop i think six stories up at least though it's been a long time after the wizard was destroyed the party's fighter called out asking for the gem the party member who had the gem not knowing what he planned to do tossed it over to him wherein the fighter immediately tossed the gem over the side of the roof genuinely thinking that destroying the gem would return the soul to the body i was dumbfounded and later one of the other players said that he knew that was a bad move the moment he saw my expression i ended up just telling the player of the trapped soul to make a new character in a one shot 3.5 raven loft game with far too many players technically 16 but only 12 actively participated the party generally split into little groups one of the groups consisted of an evil thry-cream swordsmaster with a signature maneuver of only ever drawing all four scimitars when he intended to kill and an evil human duelist one of the other players played a particularly naive black powder gunner who was under the protection of two paladins both separate players and after some close calls involving said firearms and the noise they made he approached the evil duelist and asked to train him in using the sword the duelist and the thry queen had earlier devised a plan on getting rid of the naive character of which i was unaware and the training helped facilitate it the duelist told the gunner that he wouldn't hold back during their training because most foes wouldn't be so he dealt lethal damage throughout their sparring match meanwhile the thry-cream player in a low voice simply said that he was standing behind the gunner and when the duelist player nodded to him a subtle cue i noticed the thry queen drew all four scimitars i immediately understood the significance and could only watch with my jaw on the floor as the naive player continued sparring with the duelist unaware of the thry-cream rolling all of his attacks and tallying up the damage which he then simply stated as a number no mention of damage i had to narrate how the gunner was effectively eviscerated and it began a massive in-party battle between the two paladins and the duelist dry cream groups with others either taking sides or just completely backing out i think only two characters didn't get involved the one shot pretty much ended with the party breaking up one of the paladins feeling like he failed his task and roleplayed that he would only go up fighter levels and the overall feeling that ravenloft has once again claimed more victims last night we stumbled into the rejects part of a golem factory the running gag is that the sand golem art looks very depressed one entered the fight with half speed already applied the gm was not amused when we just kept walking backwards casting ray of frost and vicious mockery essentially bullying a sad pile of sand that just wants a hug that just broke my heart in the campaign i'm running right now one of the players is playing a total monk model after oogway from kung fu panda fairly simple eventually he asked to buy a component pouch i think huh maybe he's planning to multi-class and i grant him the comp pouch with no resistance when magic items start going around he asked for a portable hole again i didn't think much of it and i grant him it then he broke me context the comp pouch can create any material components that don't have a monetary value attached to them portable hole makes a six foot wide ten foot deep hole this man pulled out his comp pouch put down the hole and started to fill the hole with teeth he has now taken to frisbeeing it under enemies sending them to what he likes to call the teeth dimension first time he did this i was silent for a minute thinking uh wha is this my fault was i supposed to predict this happening i uh brian von via here checking in after the stories and reminding you that the tooth fairy is most definitely not real but also not involved in that last story we had anyway if you liked today's vid please leave a like subscribe and ring the bell so you can be notified whenever we post or go live to get your story read in a video or on stream make sure to check out our subreddit mr ripper and leave us a post there or in the comments below also be sure to follow us on twitch and twitter using a help action be sure to stop by my youtube as well brian von v8 where i stream games and make voice acting videos for today's bit of positivity i just wanted to say something really important i'm proud of all of you simple as that i'm proud of you for going through with university for pushing through your job for dealing with this pandemic and still maintaining life and a smile throughout i'm proud of you for essentially not giving up i'm glad you're all still here not just with us on the video but alive as well all the love everyone please be safe out there we will see you next time you

Channel: MrRipper

Views: 80,082

Keywords: MrRipper, Dungeons and Dragons, dnd stories, reddit stories, please sub for nat 20s, BBEG, dnd encounters, askreddit, r/askreddit, tabletop games, tabletop simulator d&d, dnd, dungeons and dragons, dnd 5e, dnd stories reddit, dnd campaigns, dungeon master screen, tabletop rpg games, reddit tales, dungeons and dragons how to play, family friendly gaming, ask reddit videos, homebrew, reddit funny compilation, dnd 5e character creation, dm tips dnd 5e, dungeon master 2

Id: w4QKjGvQ9Rk

Length: 13min 52sec (832 seconds)

Published: Tue May 04 2021