We Don't Know How to Poop | Trash Taste #32

- The most ghetto thing that I have is that I'm actually using a bed sheet as a mattress cover. - Wait, what? (jaunty music) How do you stretch that sheet over it? - With a lot like the fucking power of Zeus. I'm like... (Joey laughs) (groans) I'm, like pulling the red sea back together. It's a zip, it goes all around my mattress. - Oh, you fucking zipped it around your mattress. (soft music) - What's up, G Fuel enthusiasts. Welcome back to another episode of the "Trash Taste Podcast." (laughs) - That's what you came up with. - Yeah, I don't know. - That is it? - That is it. - Okay. - That is it. - He literally just looked at the nearest thing next to him (indistinct). - Yeah, I was like uh, G Fuel. - Oh my God. - He's just playing I Spy at this point. (laughs) - All right, welcome back. I'm with the boys as usual, Connor and Garnt. - Yes. - Did you see- - I am Steve Hanjobs though. - Yeah, Steve Hanjobs, you are, yes. - Bringing back the Steve Hanjobs cosplay. (claps) - I am so glad that you're making that a character. - What is this podcast. (laughs) - I am so glad, I was like- - Every time I wear a turtleneck now- - Yeah, you're Steve Hanjobs. - Yeah. - Why do you have so many turtlenecks, Garnt? - 'Cause it's fucking cold in Japan, okay? - I never saw you wearing turtle necks until this year. And suddenly this man's got a fucking- - No, no, no, no, no. He's always worn turtlenecks. - No he hasn't. - Yes he has. - Fuck off. - Basically before, because I lived in Thailand, so all the only winter clothes I had were turtlenecks. And I would just, every time I come to Japan in the winter- - First time I met Garnt, he was wearing a black turtleneck. - It's like, Garnt during summer, Neanderthal. Garnt during winter, big brain five head. (laughs) I'm wearing the turtleneck mother. - Not gonna lie, I've never looked good in a turtleneck, so I've personally never worn it. And I think Garnt is the only person I know that actually rocks turtleneck. - You have to be kinda skinny though to pull off a turtle neck. - Yes, you need to be skinny, and you also need to have a neck. (laughing) Like a long neck. - Sorry, Ed. - Big Ed's swearing right now. (laughing) (laughing) I just imagined big Ed in a turtle neck. It covers his entire face. - He'll just look like roll on deodorant. (laughing) - I'm sorry Ed. I'm sorry we're take cheap shots at you, man. You're questionable Ed, but. (chuckles) - Remember that was the thing in 2020, the big Ed thing. - Big Ed. - So many good memes. - That was so good. - Can we just all agree that back in 2020, which is still when we're filming this by the way, that My Little Pogchamp was the worst meme of 2020. Can we just agree? I don't know what meme of the year was, but that was the worst. - But it was definitely not that fucking meme. I should say that. - I don't know, that meme kind of... One, it came out of nowhere and two, it died so fast. - Well because it was shit, it was shit. - I know. - And I'm so glad that it was animated, so that the poor person who voiced it didn't get fucking obliterated. (laughs) - [Joey] Destroyed, yeah. - Can you imagine if that was like a person on TikTok, it'd be like, oh my God, it's the Pogchamp girl. - Oh God. I guarantee there's a number of girls who went on to TikTok and did the whole voice- - Yeah, yeah there is. Of course there is. - I'm not gonna look. - Have you had TikTok's of people voicing over your videos? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - So, she went and did a lot of anime character stuff. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - There's loads and they fully dress up in costume. - I've heard people doing that of just me talking like normally. Like they would take a segment of me from like an- - So, you just get a fandub? - Yeah. - That's just a fandub, extra steps. - I saw a bunch where someone took really old audio of me in like an answer me simp or where I'm just fucking answering a question normally. And they just like voicing over and acting over. I was like, I mean there's- - [Connor] Content. - There's lots of audio clips you could have taken that's a little more interesting, right? - Do you ever get people impersonating your voice? I get that a lot. - Yeah, but that's 'cause you have a distinct voice. - I guess. - I don't exactly have a distinct voice. - There's a few videos out there of people like... I think I mentioned this before on the podcast, right? Where they like go around on discord, pretending to be me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And film the reaction. - I don't have crazy fans like you, so no. - Oh fuck. (Joey laughs) - And what, do they just do the most broken English accent? - They're like, "Hello, I'm Connor." - Hello, hello. - And then everyone's like, "Oh my God, its Cdawgva." (Joey laughs) And I'm like what? I'm like that is not me. It doesn't sound like me. Why are you believing this man? - Hello, I'm Connor. - Hello, governor. - Literally a terrible British accent. (laughs) It doesn't sound remote- - But with a deep voice. - Oh yeah, just doesn't even sound remotely like me. It's just British accent, deep voice. - Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, what's going on here. (Joey laughs) - They'll be like- - This is a Cdawgva video, this is. Hello there. - Oh my God, its the real Cdawgva. - [Meilyne] Imagine how Micheal feels. - Oh, yeah, poor Michael. They'll like do... Yeah, exactly. People will impersonate Sebastian, but not like the actual Sebastian. They'll impersonate like my Sebastian. - The Cdawgva Sebastian. - Yeah, Sebastian. - But they'll be like in an American accent. Oh how the fuck do I do this, 'cause I'm so ingrained to do this in British. It'd be like, 'cause you know Sebastian's catchphrase. - Yeah. - I'm simply one hell of a butler, right? There'll be like, "I'm simply one hell of a butler." (laughing) And it'll be like... And it was awful. 'cause it would sound like half English, half American attempt, and it's like, what? And then- - That was like layered- - Yeah. (laughing) - That was layered there. - That was hard to do. I was like how do I break barrier. - That took like 100% of your brain power to do. - A British person impersonating an American person, impersonating a British person. (laughs) - Then I'd be like, I would hear these voices they would do and I'm like, there's no way they're gonna believe that. And then the moment they do it, they're like, "It's Cdawg. "Oh, my God." (Joey laughs) And I'm like what? This isn't me. And then there was someone as well who went on voice acting websites trying to be me called It's Connor or something. - It's Connor. - And they would go around making references to my videos. Like I fucking reference myself. (Joey laughs) Like I go around being like, oh yes, remember that time I was Sebastian, good times. Who the fuck references themselves? That's something like Tommy Wiseau shit. (chuckles) You know what I mean? Who actually does? - Like it's the only thing you have. - Yeah, it's like I've made it now. I'm done making new stuff. I'm just gonna reference myself until I'm entire... (indistinct) what? Then people are like, "Shit, it's Cdawg." - Yeah. He said the thing, so it must be him. - It infuriates me to death, 'cause I'm like, if this is all it takes to get you to believe this is me I hope your credit card gets stolen. You deserve it. (laughs) Like you had a it coming if you think that's me. I'm kidding. (laughs) - Yeah, true. No, no seriously. I haven't had people impersonating my voice, but I've had people kind of trying to do it by just speaking in a shitty Australian accent. - Yeah. - And sometimes the voice is totally not me. It's a completely different voice. But because they're speaking in a semi like- - [Connor] Right, right. - Oh, I'm fucking Australian, aye. - It is pretty funny how much room people are willing to give-for interpretation. - [Joey] It's so crazy. - I've not seen any TikTok's, but I've had exactly the same comments of like some random YouTuber who is reviewing anime clips or something in a slight British accent. - Gigguk. - And they're like, "Oh my God, it's Gigguk. It's fucking Gigguk. (laughing) The thing that annoys me more actually, is not on YouTube or TikTok, but it's on Twitter, where apparently anyone Southeast Asian who posts a selfie now who's also into anime, it's just like, "Oh my God, you look like Gigguk." You do? - Oh my God, I have so many photos fucking of people, just like random Indian celebrities. (Garnt laughing) And people are just like, "Yo, I thought that was Joey." What the fuck? (laughing) Like I had a guy, my sister even sent me one. It was like, she found on TV there was this Bollywood movie or I guess some Bollywood show. - Right, right, right, right. - That they were promoting on an ad or something. And apparently one of the dudes just straight up apparently looked like me. And I'm like, he's just a Brown man with a beard. That doesn't make (indistinct) - That's you. - Apparently every Brown man with a beard is me. - Yeah, I get that with white dudes. Every white dude with a beard on TikTok, is like, for some reason... (Joey laughs) They say I looked like Cedar. I'm like, what the fuck, no. Come on. - Is there like any moment where that kind of like, oh, that you look like so-and-so person has been kind of flattering? I've only had one example of that, and that's when people said that I looked like, what was it? A cracked out Jason Momoa. (laughing) It's like, oh, you look like Jason Momoa, if he didn't work out. - Yeah. (laughs) - And I was like, yeah, I'll take that. Jason Momoa's a fucking good looking dude. - I think I had like Benedict Cumberbatch once, but I was like- - You had Benedict Cumberbatch - Right, right. But I used to have really big curly hair that looked similar to him, so my parents just joked that I was like him. And cool, 'cause I was also like- - British. - Yeah, British. My parents are British too, Joey, what do you mean? - Yeah, I know. - Oh he's British fucking aye. (laughs) - He's a British man, therefore, he looks like Benedict Cumberbatch. - Oh, fuck it, I was like, no, I don't. I don't look like that fucking armature. (laughing) No, he's nice, he's fun. We like him. We have fun. - Do you have one Garnt? - I don't know. - Garnt's too distinct. - Yeah. - Garnt has a very distinct- - 'Cause nobody really knows anything about Southeast Asia. So, now it's just like we are like the new, just like Japanese or Chinese people right now. (Joey laughs) 'Cause now there're like Chinese and Japanese culture is been more like, and Koreans have been more- - Pushed out, right? - Globalized. - Yeah. - Like all Southeast Asians we'll just sit here in our own corner being like, well, there's more than one country here as well, guys. - It's gone from, I can't tell the difference between Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese too. - Yeah. - I can't tell the difference between Thai, Filipinos. - Malaysians. - Vietnamese. - Vietnamese. - Malaysians. - Yeah. (chuckles) - Fuck, I'd feel called out. (laughing) - But no, it's not like half the memes on our subreddit, it's just like a different white person with a beard and it's just like, oh my God it's- - He is Connor. - Its Connor, I thought it was Connor. - It's a monkey brain. - I got no beard now, actually. Well, I just shaved it like two days ago. - The amount of memes though of you with baby face is hilarious. - Is it? - Yeah. - I do look like a 10-year-old without a beard. - Someone fucking posted it on the subreddit this old ass photo of me in a suit. Have you guys seen that one? - Yeah I saw that, that was funny. - Yeah, I was like, why? - How did they find that, it's on Google? - It's on my Instagram, I think. - Oh, okay. (chuckles) - Yeah, it's like the second ever photo I put up on Instagram. (laughing) It was six years old or something. - You do look so shad as a baby. - I know. I was like, fuck, how old was I? Like 20, maybe. - You just looked like the kind of kid who was like, get me out of here. - Yeah, I did, yeah. (Garnt laughs) I regret putting that photo up- (laughing) It's not a good photo of me. - For me, I feel like I haven't changed much my look apart from... The only thing that's changed is the spikiness of my hair over the years. (Joey laughs) - You've calm down, you've calm down. - You can tell the Gigguk years by the younger I am, like the more spikes in the hair. - Yeah. - Like there are. You look at some of my first videos and I look like fucking Sasuke, man. - I'm wondering, (Joey laughs) how did you decide on that hair style? 'cause that's a look, right? - Is that hair you've had since we were young or? - No, I think, I can't remember. I just remember... Because I have hair that's really easy to be spiked up, right? - Right. - So, I think ever since I was young- - What constitutes a hair that's easy to just spike up? - Like light and- - Oh, okay. - Could you spike up your hair? - Yeah, easily. - No, because of my hair, if I cut it short, I put a bit of water in it and it just immediately, naturally, it's just like the fucking anime character spike- - A lot of Asian hair has that too. 'Cause my hair is also quite strawry. So if I put gel in it and it's just up forever - Oh, I don't know. - Yeah, no, I get that. (chuckles) Then again, it's like, just because your hair can do that, (Garnt laughs) doesn't mean you have to commit to it, right? - Okay, was it inspired by anime? - No. No, it wasn't inspired by anime. - Fuck off. What was it inspired by? - It was inspired by the... There's only- - Sonic the Hedgehog? (laughs) - There's only so many hairstyles I could pull off and I had no idea what the fuck I was doing with my hair. Therefore, look, it was the hairstyle that took the least amount of effort to do, because all I would- - No, no, no, no. - That look like a lot of effort. - It was not. Okay, it wasn't, because, like I said, my hairstyle is just naturally spiky. So, all I would need to do, just put a bit of water, put a bit of gel and just go. - And they were like peaks bro. It was done. - You had like fucking mountains. - It naturally went to that shape. - Naturally Sonic the Hedgehog. - Yeah, Naturally Sonic the Hedgehog. - I just woke up and I was Sonic. (laughing) What can I say? No, because I remember in some older videos, your hair is like so... It looked like a wig. - Yeah, yeah. (Garnt laughing) - That's how perfect the spike was. I was like, this man could pass off as like a side character "Yuyo." - It was like you'd been watching too many David Bowie concerts. (laughs) And you were like, all right, I like that. I'ma mimic that, basically. That's what it looked like. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I wasn't trying to mimic anything. I just had no idea what the fuck I was doing with my hair. - It was like some guy who was trying to bring back the '80s glam rock scene. - Because, it's like whatever the Mr. Anime you talking about that video pop ups- - Oh, my God. - It's so funny watching that and seeing Garnt, with this teenage hair. - Yeah, yeah. - Which is really, really sad. (laughing) - I feel bad but 'cause obviously you're my mate I'm like that's funny. - If you didn't know the context and you just saw the thumbnail, it looks like those angsty fucking video. (chuckles) - It is. It totally fucking is. - I can't focus 'cause you're fucking hair is like Sonic the Hedgehog where you're talking about- - It's like 60% of the frame. - You're talking about, like argue the most serious thing ever and you've got like this fucking Sonic hair, and (laughing) I can't focus on it. - 'Cause I'm just talking about, yeah, this guy just like killed his family. - Killed his family. - But bro, that fucking hair though, that fucking Sonic hair. - Meanwhile this man's hair has it's own orbit. (laughing) Oh, my God. - Well yes, welcome to "Trash Taste" where we are- - Trash on each other's haircuts. - Now we're trashing on each other's haircuts. - As good mates do. - That's what we do. - That's what constitutes as a mirror. Can you really call your mate a mate if they don't make fun of you after a haircut? - Okay, what age did you reach, where you actually paid attention and gave a shit about what you looked like? 'Cause I was really fucking late. - Yeah, same. - 'Cause literally the reason I looked like that was because I didn't really give a shit, about what I looked like. - Right. - Until I got to my first, second year of uni. - Yeah, I was probably about the same. - Did you ever have any interest in dating when you where in- - No. - You didn't never wanna date a girl in school? - Oh, I was on an all boys school. - I mean, of course I did. (indistinct) (laughing) - I love my boys, but not like that. - It's like, yeah, I invite them to Kiss X Sis but we don't kiss. - Yeah. - We don't kiss. - Yeah. We'll have a session Kiss X Sis but I don't care what you look like, it's all right. - [Connor] Yeah. - Yeah, I guess maybe it's because I went to a boys school that, not to say that I didn't hang out with girls. - Man I fucking would have loved to have gone to a boys school, yeah. Even get the pressure of having a fucking, trying to get a girlfriend. - Impress. Yeah, yeah. - And trying to get a girlfriend 'cause everyone else is getting one. - Yeah, I mean, not to say that I didn't have any interest in dating but it's just like, it wasn't a priority for me. - Bro, I was speed running them in school, man. I never had one that lasted more than two weeks. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - That was school relationships. - I had one that lasted three months and the boys were like, "Damn, you lasted three months?" - No, if you last more than- - Three months is a long time in high school. - In high school, it's a long time. - That's a dedicated relationship. - Yeah. - Anything beyond a month is like, okay, I am dedicated to this. They're probably getting married, you know what I mean? - Exactly (chuckles), it's like one step away from marriage, right? We've passed three months, damn. My life's set already after this. - I think I must have started paying attention to how I looked at maybe... Okay, I say how I looked, the hair, basically. Everything else was like, what am I gonna wear, fucking school outfit? - Oh yeah. - My mum still bought all my clothes, so like I was- - Yeah. (laughing) - Not gonna lie, I didn't start buying my own clothes until I moved out here. - So, same. - Same here, same here. - My mom was just like, yeah, I got this nice T-shirt. It was like some shitty $5 T-shirt from Target, and I was like, yeah fuck, I'll wear that. - My mom still buys me clothes and sends them. - Really? - And it sucks that she has fucking better taste than me. - You know what's weird, Aki's mom buys me clothes. (laughs) But my own mother doesn't anymore. - I remember us, we did a shoot a week ago, and I remember Joey had to borrow one of your T-shirts. And just see Joey in one of your T-shirts, I'm just like, this is such a Connor shirt. - Yeah. - 'Cause it was just like a plain T-shirt- - It's literally that, but a different color. - It's a plain T-shirt in a drab color. - Okay. - And I'm just like, (laughs) man, this just screams Connor, right now. - It's a color that I would never buy, and it's a color that Connor would definitely buy. - Okay, this is gonna be one of those weird Connor things, right? - Right? - Only like last year have I been open to the idea with owning shirts that have nothing but plain color. - [Joey] Right. - For some reason, in my head- - Is it because you don't like logos or? - I hated logos and prints, they drove me insane. - Why? - Really? - I don't know, for some reason it just looked cheap to me and always... I mean that it's kinda- - Oh no, I get that. - It's kinda like it costs me that 'cause normally they're cheaper these colors. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get that though. - It depends, because some of them can look very tacky. And I feel like there's a fine line between having a cool print and having a cool piece of artwork that just looks tacky on a T-shirt. - Yeah, yeah. It's the whole concept of simple is best, right? - Yeah, yeah. - Sometimes... That's like the whole reason why all of those high brand shirts and shit like that are so fucking simple. - I think that's what changed my opinion of fashion in general. I have started to be more open to spending a bit more money on clothes. - Right. - 'Cause at the end of the day it's like, all right, I'm wearing this shirt for like how many months? And I'm gonna be on camera as well, especially. So, I wanna wear shirts, I know today I'll see. (laughing) But, I've still got a little bit of the old me left. - Yeah, yeah. - Obviously, recently, I've been like okay, I'm willing to spend like... Oh, I might spend 80 bucks on T-shirt, which is unthinkable to me through the years. - Oh, yeah. Absolutely. - Because, bear in mind in university, I used to go to Primark, which if you don't know where Primark is in the UK- - Yeah, I've been to Primark. - Yeah so- - Primark's amazing by the way. - It's basically- - If you bought shirt on Primark, I'm gonna fight you on that. - Well, I don't wanna question how they make their shirts so damn cheap. I'm sure there's some ethical question. - Yeah. (laughing) I remember, I specifically bought eight T-shirts for 10 pounds, (Joey laughs) which is like $15. - It's amazing. - And I fucking love these shirts, 'cause they were all plain. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Nothing on them. And I wore them for like two years straight, these shirts. - Oh yeah, I- - They were fucked by the end of it, right? - For real though, Primark is like one of the best low budget clothing brands I've ever seen globally. - Yeah, true, true. - Honestly the shit you can get for the price at Primark, which I don't know where Primark's available internationally, 'cause i know- - Its in Europe, I think. - Is it in Europe? - Yeah. - Yeah, it's like, if you wanna budget place where you can just buy cheap clothes that don't really don't look cheap. You know what I mean? - 'Cause people said, Uniqlo here is cheap. And we have Uniqlo in the UK. - It's not cheap. - Uniqlo compared to Primark is very cheap. - Uniqlo is cheap for the quality that you get. - [Garnt] Yeah, yeah. - You'll pay a little bit extra for a T-shirt at Uniqlo, but that shit is gonna last you like 10 plus years. - I bought a whole suit from Primark for like $40, (laughs) that I wore to- - 30 pounds? The 30 pound set, yeah? - Yeah. - Yeah, I did exactly the same for my prom and everything. - My graduation I wore a $40 suit and actually, I hate to say it, but it doesn't look that bad. It's not bad. - It's not bad, that's the thing. Primark basically, carried my university years. You know what I mean? - But, there's a big but. And a lot of people in the UK tend to also have the same mindset, I think, where a T-shirt should never cost more than 20, 30 pounds- - Yeah, Yeah, yeah. - Which I can understand, because if you haven't got a lot of money, spending that much on one T-shirt is it's quite a lot, it's quite a lot. - Yeah. - But, as I started to... I think that's where my hatred of prints started. Is that I thought a lot of these Primark ones are pretty fucking shit. - Yeah, yeah. - And they often do look super tacky. And I don't really like the collaborations. They have like SpongeBob and shit. And then they like, oh, we stuck a PlayStation logo on it. - I think they're just starting to do anime, as well. - Yeah, they are. - Which is weird. I feel like, was it last year where they did like a DBZ a one piece collaboration, as well? - Yeah, there's been a lot of stores like that Like Forever 21, as well, before they went under, they did this huge fucking thing with anime. So every time I went to Forever 21, there was always this entire section of anime. But when you look at it, when you actually go over to it, you're just like, all right, let's see what they have. It's all like Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, Naruto. - It's always the fucking basics. - It's all the basic shit. - And I'm like, don't give me that. I don't want- - And it's not even done in a creative way either. It's just like, let's just slap the logo and the main character, boom! - Doing anime clothes is really hard. And I'm probably gonna about to call out a bunch of our viewers by saying this, but the ones I hate the most are the ones where it's just a T-shirt with a waifu on it. - Oh, yeah. - You know what I mean? - Or the anime logo. - Or like a anime logo. Those kinds of clothes I call anime convention clothes. 'Cause it's a T-shirt or clothes that I would only wear to an anime convention, but there's no way I would wear it (indistinct)- - You know what I call clothes like that? - What? - Pajamas. (laughing) This is the only time I'm fucking wearing it. Is when I need to wear something in bed. (Joey laughs) - But there's probably someone watching this right now in like a fucking Asuna T-shirt, they'd be like, aw. - But I like this. - Yeah. And then I think as well, going back to the whole cheap versus expensive stuff for clothes, like it's only... I think 'cause I moved to Japan, I actually started seeing some of the clothes that I really like and it's kind of expensive. But you're like, okay, I am gonna wear this a lot. Like when I paid 350 bucks, fuck, for that Diavolo... Sorry, King Crimson jacket. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - When I bought that, that was the most expensive thing I'd ever bought, clothes wise. And I thought, oh my God, this is insane, but- - This peak. (laughs) - This is insane, $350 on a fucking jacket. Okay, it's sexy, look on screen it's sexy. - But now that I've been wearing it, I wear it pretty much every day. - Yeah. - I'm like, okay, if I'm wearing it every day and I get maybe four or five years out of that, that's like 20- - You're getting bang for your buck, right? - You know what I mean. - Yeah, exactly. - And I understand that, 'cause I always felt that way with tech, right? Like to me it's like, don't buy a $20 headset, buy a $100, at least, 'cause you're gonna get your money's worth. And I don't know why for some reason took me so long to have that with fashion. And I think going back to the whole topic, which is school and why I didn't give a fuck, is 'cause I just didn't care for clothes. I didn't really understand fashion at all. - I just look like- - I mean, who does? - I mean high school. - There was always that one kid in your school, who somehow always fucking dressed amazing to shit. Did you all have that kid? - I didn't have that kid. - I did not have that kid. I always, I don't know, I had kind of a similar view of fashion, which is just I didn't get it. - No I didn't get it. - I didn't understand anyone who would spend above like, yeah $20 or like $30 on a T-shirt. - Yeah, I think my mum would scoff if an outfit was over a total $50. She'd be like, (Joey laughs) "Get a load of this scam." - Yeah. (chuckles) - I think that's the thing though. At least with me, there was this like, because it was a boys school, but there was this whole, I guess stigma of- - People who dress well. - Oh, if you dress well then your gay. (laughs) - Right. - Like that whole shit. - Right, right. - So I think people just... I'm sure there were boys who actually did give a shit about fashion and didn't- - And didn't want it. - But they didn't want to because they were probably worried about getting beaten up and I get that. It's like, yes, a fedora might seem quite fashionable, in the common eye but why would you wear that if you don't wanna get bullied? - Yeah, true. - I like wearing fedoras. I think they look fucking cool with the right outfit. (laughs) But the problem is a lot of- - I'ma agree with Joey here. Really? - Yeah. - I feel like the big problem with fedoras is that the fucking neck beard community just ruined, completely ruined their image. - This is like the Hitler mustache. You can't wear it because Hitler's ruined it. - Well, exactly. - It's the same thing with the fedora, you can't do it, 'cause everyone's like incel if they see you wearing it. - That's the thing. That's the thing. But that's the problem. I feel that a lot of the reasons why fedora is just commonly seen as that type of negative thing is because the hat itself is fine. It's what you pair it with that just makes it look like absolutely dog shit. - Well, you're either gonna look like a neck beard or you're gonna look like a rip off Michael Jackson. There's no in between. - Right. - I'd rather look like a ripoff Michael Jackson than a fucking neck beard, right? (laughing) But I've seen- (laughing) - Then you can truly enjoy your lonely life (indistinct). I'm out. (laughs) - I've seen fashion magazines of dudes who wear a fedora or a hat of some kind that's similar to a fedora in a really nice suit. - Yeah. - And they can match that shit really well- - Yeah, but those are the most fucking attractive men on the planet. - But that's what I'm saying, right? And that's the other problem, is that there are no attractive men who wear fedoras. (laughing) I'm just saying. I'm just preaching to the choir right now. But you know that's true. - I'm not gonna lie and pretend I know how fashion works, you know what I mean? But- - I'm no fucking fashionista. - We're not fashion experts here. - Thailand next top model. (laughs) - Fucking Steve Hanjobs is like, let me teach you about fashion. - I feel like having that one kid in school, who elevated the game really fucking- - Elevated the game. - He elevated the game in school. - He was the bench mark. (Joey laughs) He was the trend bro- - He's really make me look fucking bad. When he turns up with his jeans with holes in them, I'm like, how can we compete? I don't have holes in my jeans. - Oh, wait, because- - What am I supposed to do? - Wait, because you guys didn't wear school uniforms? - No we did. - We wore school uniforms. - And we had some days where you would pay for charity. - Yeah. - You would pay like a pound to dress in normal clothes. Why do we do that? - Right. - I don't know. (laughs) So yeah, we have this thing in UK schools- - You had that as well right? - Yeah, called own clothes day. - Yeah, that's it. - Right, own clothes day. Where we have one day in the term or something, where we could just come in in our own clothes. - I hated- - And we had to pay a pound. - Yeah, we had that. - I was speaking to Sydney and apparently in her high school, they didn't have school uniform. - No. - Yeah, they just- - 'Cause American high schools don't wear uniforms. - Yeah, yeah. - School uniforms are big brain, because you always wear the same shit every day. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Right, it's great. - You don't have to worry about like, oh, I wore the same T-shirt for three days in a row. Because, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - That's a big reason why I didn't give a shit about fashion until later in life. Was just because most days of the year, I was wearing a fucking school uniform. - You know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. - Although I say that, the fashion... Whoever designed my school uniform deserves a slap because... (Connor laughs) Okay, so in our high school there's a set piece that you have to wear from when you're seventh grade to 10th grade. And then when you enter 11th and 12th grade, you're like senior. So you get to wear a senior blazer and long pants and shit like that. The senior uniform is fine. It looks dope as fuck. It's basically just a suit, essentially. - Right. - But the junior uniform is a little, because for one, everyone has to wear shorts. (Garnt laughs) - [Connor] Okay. - Because, it's hot most of the year in Australia, so you wear shorts. But then on top of that, you have to wear long socks. - Okay. - Yeah. I'm talking like up to the fucking knee long socks. - Like anime girl long socks, right? - Like anime girl longs, these gray knitted long socks. - Someone had a fetish. - Yeah, someone had a fetish. So, basically there's just these seventh to 10th grade kids running around with basically just only showing their fucking knee. - Was your school run by Herbert the pervert or something? - I don't know. I mean... (laughing) - Okay. - I'm not gonna get into that. (laughing) But yeah, so I fucking hated that. And, of course, because I went to a private school, if you didn't wear your thing properly, you get a fucking punishment. So it was like you just- - Look at this private school boy. - It's like, oh, I can see your shins. You're gonna get a fucking slap for that. You pull your socks up. Was like, yeah. (whooshing) This episode is sponsored by Honey. - We all shop online. - [Joey] And we've all seen that promo code field taunt us at checkout. But thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past. Honey is the free browser extension that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart. - [Connor] Honey supports over 30,000 online stores that range from food delivery to popular fashion brands. - [Garnt] Imagine you're shopping on your favorite online sites. When you check out, the Honey button drops down, and all you have to do is click apply coupons, wait a few seconds as honey searches for all the coupons they can find for that site. - And if Honey finds a working coupon, you'll watch those prices drop. - So, what did you save money on guys? - Pizza. - How much did you save Joey? - About $15. - [Connor] Damn. - Yeah, it was actually good investment, yeah. - [Connor] To convince you go download Honey. - I couldn't have done it without Honey. - That's better than the supermarket meal deal from Britain that we always get. (laughs) - I won't hear about this blasphemy. Honey has found it's over 17 million members, over $2 billion in savings. If that's not stonks, I don't know what is. - [Joey] That is stonks as fuck. - If you don't already have Honey, you could be straight up missing on free savings. These are free. It is 100% free guys. - Why would you not take the free money? - In a few seconds, as well. - And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast. And why would you not wanna do that? - So, you should maybe get Honey for free at joinhoney.com/trashtaste. That's joinhoney.com/trashtaste. - Back to the episode. (whooshing) So in British schools it goes, secondary school... No, primary school, then secondary school, then sixth form, right? - Which is part of secondary school normally - Yeah. Kind of, kind of. So like our high school is secondary school and sixth form put together. That's like the same- - Why does it skip from two to six? - No, no, okay so, it's called secondary school, 'cause it's the second school that you go to. - Right. - Yeah. - And then you start at age 12 and then you can... Oh, it's mandatory now, right? You have to do sixth form now, right? - Yeah, yeah. - So it used to be, you could leave at 16 and you could go and work or you can get an apprenticeship. And then there's always an optional, if you want to go to university, you have to stay an extra two years. - Yeah, yeah. - Which normally has about, at least in my school half the kids left at 16. - Yeah, so in Australia that would be junior high and senior high. - Right. - Okay, okay. - So it's like we have high school... So, we have primary school and high school, as well. And high school's from seventh grade to 12th grade. - Seventh grade when you're like age 12, 14? - 13. - 13? Okay, okay, okay. - And then you can leave at year 10, which is like I guess the end of secondary for you guys. - Yes. - And then the last two years is senior high school. - And that's like 16 to 18? - And that's 16 to 18 then you go to uni. - Yeah, so that's what it's like in the UK. - [Joey] Okay, okay, okay, okay. I get it. - And when I was in sixth form, so I was in my last two years, they tried to introduce the school blazers, 'cause we didn't wear blazers. - Yeah, we had blazers. - But we were a public school, so blazers were like, get a load of these (indistinct). (laughing) And there was outrage because they were like, because, right. Here's the thing, the school uniform, you can only buy from a special place, right? You can just get it on Amazon. - Right, right, right. - And they were charging 70 pounds for the blazer. - [Joey] Right. - And obviously this is a public school and 70 pound's like 100 bucks. And for some parents it's like way too much. - Yeah, yeah. - So, they were like, "What the fuck? "No, we don't want a fucking blazer." And there was a whole outrage about it. And then eventually they were like, fine, fine. Okay, because the older kids are leaving, they don't need to wear blazers. So, I didn't have to wear one. So, it's very fun watching- - So wait, it wasn't mandatory for you guys? - It was mandatory. - So what was your school uniform? - It was just a tie- - So in England, we call sixth form college as well. Which gets a bit confusing when- - Oh really, that's weird. - When we say college, we mean sixth form most of the time. - But you can go to college? - You can go to actual college. - No, where college isn't college. College in the UK is one or two years, right? Of a specialized thing that you can then use to then go in the University. - Oh, we call that something different. - No, we have that college. That's college. - Yeah, but we have sixth form college and then we have whatever preschool university. Is that called college, as well? - I believe those two are the same institutions, if I'm correct, or someone could (indistinct). - Because in Australia, we don't even call it college. We don't use that word. - Well, what college is... That's why when an American say, "Are your going to college?" No, no, no. We're going to university. (laughing) - Yeah, we go to uni. - It's like the Winnie Poo meme where it's like, college, university. - College, university. (laughing) - Because college is something entirely different to British people. - Yeah, yeah. It is. - Yeah, anyway they were outraged. So, half the school didn't have to fucking wear blazers and half the young kids did. - Right, right, right. - So, that was fun. And you could just be like, look at this fucking little 10-year-old wearing his little blazer. (laughing) - No, we fucking loved the blazer. The blazer was the bit. - I don't wanna wear a blazer. 'Cause you weren't supposed to, but the teachers got so fucking done with it that you can just wear hoodies of your school uniform. - Really. - Oh, really? - Yeah, yeah. - Man, they must have like, where are the rules in this school, man? - For us in the winter, if it was just a regular white T-shirt underneath, it'd be way too fucking cold. - Yeah. - So, sometimes you'd have to wear the blazer just to stay warm. Because the other option we had was this like... Our school colors were black and red. So, we had this- - What are you, fucking like the evil school in Hogwarts? - Yeah, right? So, it was black and red. So we had this like, if you didn't wanna wear a blazer, you had to wear this fucking bright red, white, like woolen fucking sweater. - Yeah, we had something like that, but it was green, like moss green. - Yeah, yeah. - But like- - Yeah, yeah. I know the exact color. - But ours was bright red, like the reddest red you can think of. So you just fucking stick out in a crowd, right? - But at least you had pretty colors. Ours was drab purple. - Yeah, but the problem was is that, because it was like a wool thing, it was so fucking itchy. It doesn't matter how many times you wash that shit. You're just like, fuck, I'm warm, but, ow! (laughs) Fuck this! So, people were just like, fuck it. I'm just gonna spend the 100 bucks on the blazer, 'cause I don't wanna wear this itchy ass fucking like grandma's sweater shit. (laughs) - 'Cause I remember in my sixth form, I knew I was a fucking grown up in my sixth form. - Yes. (laughing) - All right Garnt, all right. - We went to the coolest sixth form, because they let us wear our own clothes. - Oh, wow. - Ooh la la. - This was the big thing. We were allowed to call our teachers by their first name. - Oh! - And that was like bringing you up to the next level, man. - Dude, we could only do that, but It was a fucking Kaigi gamble every time, right? (laughs) It was like, fuck, do I call you Mr. Smith or do I just call you James? - Yes I remember one student did that in my class, and he immediately like, "What the fuck did you call me?" (laughing) He basically said that- - I've heard that so many times. (laughs) It's basically towards the female teachers. It's like, excuse me, Margaret. And she's just like, what the fuck did you just call me? (laughing) - Holy shit. Bro, I remember.... I'm sorry, I just had this flashback to something. - Okay. - I remember I did like... So we had to do a presentation during... Do you have registration in Australia? - For what? - Where you basically, when you get to school, you'd had a separate class for registration to say that you're here and you've arrived in school. - Oh, like orientation, stuff like that? - I guess yeah, orientation for maybe Americans. It's like a quick 15 minute thing where everyone just goes and says oh, I'm here. - Oh, yeah. Oh fuck, I forgot what that was called. It was called like... - Is that registration? - That's what we called it in my school. - Home class? - We had a (indistinct) for it. - Right, right. - Homeroom, that's it. That's what it called it. - Homeroom? That's American. Fuck Joey. - Yeah, yeah. No, we called it homeroom, yeah. - At my school, we just call it registration in English, but we had word for it that I forgot. - Right. - So I don't fucking know. But we just do like a short presentation. - [Joey] What? - Between like... It would always be one of the student's presentation each day. - Why would you have to do a presentation? On what? - Just about saying you fucking learned. It was just some (indistinct) pretentious bullshit. - What is that, at the start of the day? - Yeah, you have to do a quick presentation, about something you've learned that day. - Oh, my God, that sounds awful. (chuckles) - I was like 14, right? And we all fucking hated it. And this teacher was horrible. So my best mate in school had a really bad stuttering problem. He got a lot better now, but everyone loved this guy, 'cause everyone just wanted to see him do well. And this one teacher was so fucking rude to him, about his stutter, and everyone was like, yo, all my homies hate that teacher. So, we were all just like... We all took it in turns trying to see how much we could troll in these presentations. - Yeah. (Joey laughs) - I did a pro gamer move. - Yeah. - I was like, you know what I'm gonna present, 9/11 conspiracy theories. (laughing) I shit you not. I shit you not. - What? - And I dead ass think I got the teacher to believe me. - [Joey] Right. - So, I came in. I was like, moon landing, fake. (laughing) But what is the biggest conspiracy theory? I did like this, like Steve Jobs in a Ted Talk, right? (laughs) I was like, listen, look at this. I did the Wingdings thing with the flight number. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I was like, look, it's two towers and the star of Israel, I rest my case. (laughing) And everyone was like, "No way!" 'Cause everyone's like 14, and the teacher wasn't really smart. They were like, what the fuck, this is insane. Whoa! It was just so fucking funny. 'Cause I never got told off for that. - Really? - No. I think for some reason, I think, they thought I was super genuine about my belief of this. But obviously- - So, they didn't wanna crush on your belief? - You just said it was enough conviction that they were like, he must be right. He must be fucking right. - It wasn't just like the Wingdings. I think said a bunch of other stuff, but that was the big piece of evidence where I was like (claps) look, Microsoft planned 9/11. (laughing) - [Joey] That's so fucked. - Dude, I do not know how I got away with doing that, 'cause that is bad. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Fucking hell. - I don't know how- - We didn't do anything during homeroom. - No? - I feel like the school just implemented that to give the teachers their 15 minutes smoke break before the beginning, right? - 'Cause our teacher was the one who did it, 'cause we didn't have any lessons with her. She was always that one that goes like, "You should be constantly learning and advancing yourself." I'm like, hell no, I wanna play Modern Warfare Two at home. I don't wanna fucking prepare. - Dude, for us, homeroom was just coming together and just fucking getting on our shitty iPhone 3S and playing Doodle Jump together. That was the only thing we did. - I'm wondering if we... I don't think I even had a homeroom segment or session. - Segment of the episodes. - This is a segment. - Segment of the fucking school day or whatever you wanna fucking call it. - Garnt thinks it was life in episodes. (laughing) - The homeroom mark. - Season one, season two. - Oh, my God. - Yeah, I didn't have anything like that. But yeah, let's talk about some current topics that aren't just nostalgic trips back to high school, right? - We talk about high school and shit so much but we (indistinct) fucking funny stories. - [Joey] Yeah, yeah. - It's the prologue to our lives. - It's great memories. People listening to this who are still in high school, wouldn't understand. But once you're out of high school, you'll understand. You'll look back on them. - God, I was such a little shit. - You sound like such a grandpa saying that. You'll look back to your high school one day. - I remember back in the day when we only had three phones. (laughing) No, but, what's the... I guess the big news quote, unquote. - Other than "Attack on Titan." - Yeah, other than "Attack on Titan," of course, everyone's fucking- - Probably gonna be old news by the time this episode airs. - Yeah, everyone's fucking loving that. But I guess like some news that is more industry-driven is the whole Funimation and Crunchyroll thing, right? - Got bought up by Sony. Big cardy Sony. - Sony buying out Crunchyroll. - Yeah. - And basically having control of most of the big anime companies. - Basically, just monopolize the Western market. - I mean, it is slightly worrying when you hear that initially, right? - Yeah. - You're like, that's a lot of market share that Sony has. - Yeah. - At what point would it be considered a Sony like, I guess a monopoly if they had Netflix, right. - Yeah, I feel like if they had Crunchyroll, Funimation, and Netflix, then- - Then it would be like game over- - Then it would be like 99% basically. 'Cause basically, I think the only other company is probably Sentai Filmworks who do Hidive. And- - Yeah. Is Hidive still going? - Hidive's still going. - Shit. (laughing) - Fuck, Hidive. I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I guess it's just not available outside the US, right? So it's- - No, it's available in the UK, as well. - Is it? - Yeah. - Fuck, I didn't know that. - But the problem with Hidive is that I don't know how many big exclusive titles that they have. - I mean, how can you compete? - 'Cause the only thing that I've watched, the only big exclusive I've watched of Hidive is probably "Legend Of The Galactic Heroes," and that's like a fucking old, old... - They did a new one. - No, like the old one. - Oh, the OG one, oh shit. - So the only service they have licensed, the OG "Legend Of The Galactic Heroes." - [Joey] Oh, wow. - And I feel like... I don't how many other exclusives they have outside of that that I can't get on. - I've never used Hidive, so I couldn't tell you - Yeah, 'cause I know "Made in Abyss," I watched that on Amazon Strike. back when that was a thing. - Amazon Strike. - Remember Amazon Strike? (claps) (laughs) - Have Amazon stopped buying anime now? 'Cause I don't know what anime they're getting anymore. Have they got anything? - No, they're still getting. - The problem with Amazon, is that they can- - They buy one big show. - Like last year they had "Vinland Saga." But the big problem with Amazon is that they sometimes get big shows, but I fucking- - They don't know how to market it. - I fucking hate watching anime on Amazon, because I don't know what shows they have half of the time. - Right, right, right. - They actually have quite a lot of anime, but nobody knows about this 'cause nobody fucking watches anime on Amazon. - Yeah, not to mention that, I think, the general problem with Amazon is that they don't know how to market it. - Yeah, yeah. - You find out, usually, second hand from someone who's like, "Oh, I watch "Vinland Saga" on Amazon." And you're just like, "Vinland Saga" is Amazon. What the fuck? I mean, Amazon is "Vinland Saga," what the fuck? - Yeah. - Actually, watching it isn't bad. The play is really good. And I don't know like what fucking conversion they're using, but man, it looks crisp as fuck when you play it. - Yeah, yeah. - But God damn is it horrible to use their fucking platform? - Yeah, yeah. - Holy shit, dude. I'm like, am I renting this shit or am I streaming it? It's not clear half the fucking time? - Exactly, exactly. - Is like, I didn't mean to rent "Bora." Why am I watching "Bora." (Joey laughs) I try to watch fucking anime. What the fuck, Amazon? And then also, because now obviously I'm using Amazon Prime in Japan. - Yeah. - Amazon did that fucking pro gamer move, of being like, yeah, no subtitles for other languages outside of this country. - Yeah, yeah, yeah> - Yeah. - So, if I wanna watch it, I have to buy Prime, which I have in Japan, and Prime in the UK or the US, which is just fucking stupid. - Does Prime even work for you here? Like UK Prime work for you here? - No, you can't do that. - 'Cause it doesn't work for me. - No, no you need to use... You have Prime, but it's probably Japanese Prime, which doesn't offer any English subtitles. - Yeah. - And obviously, because their like, we don't want people going on to other countries and buying stuff, which kind of makes sense. But also why, who cares? (scoffs) - It's 2020, I don't know why licensing laws haven't caught up to the fact that it's a global fucking media now. - [Joey] Yeah. - If you're gonna limit it to one country, people are gonna find a way to find other ways to watch it, because people are gonna watch it whatever happens. - Like most people, cause I see these threads on Reddit where they're like, "Bro if you buy Netflix now in Turkey "you can get it for like $2." And I'm like, but that seems like a lot of fucking effort. (laughing) Do I really care that much to go through all this (indistinct). - I'm glad that if I put all that effort in, I can save a whole $4. - Yeah. - And then you gotta keep using a VPN when you log in and do that shit anyway. - So you're only pay for the VPN anyway. (laughs) - Yeah. - And like it's not worth the fucking effort, man. Do I really need this? No, I don't. Who cares? The country that I'm in, I don't wanna have to fuck around with VPNs. Don't make this hard for me. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And Amazon, obviously made it... They're like, how do we make it as hard as possible in every single (indistinct)? - So that no one use it. - Yeah, how do we make it so that you accidentally buy a dildo instead of watching "Vinland Saga." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's basically like every Amazon Prime experience. - Do we have any like, I guess, 'cause there is very little information about the whole Sony acquisition, right? - Yeah, it's still very early days now. - Wait, Meilyne, how much was it for? How much was, 'cause we don't know. - [Meilyne] Funimation buying... Sony buying Funimation or Sony buying Crunchyroll? - Both. - Both. - [Meilyne] So Sony, when they bought 95% of Funimation in 2017 it was around 143 million. - 143.- - Oh, that's right, they did do that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 143? - For Funimation. - Yes. - For Funimation. - [Meilyne] For Crunchyroll it's around 1.2 billion. - Fuck! Wasn't Amazon only like 900 million when- - Can you say that number again. - [Meilyne] 1.2 billion. - $1.2 billion. (indistinct) That's more than Amazon bought Twitch for. - Twitch for, yeah. - Jesus Christ! - Wow. - Oh, my God! - The question that I wanna know- - 143 for Funimation. - Yeah, yeah. That's already surprising, but the biggest question I have is like, all right cool, Sony you have all this fucking money to spend on Crunchyroll and Funimation, that's fine. But in my opinion, it's just like what are you gonna do with it? Is the question. - [Connor] I mean, I guess- - Because when Sony back in the day bought the 95% of Funimation or whatever it was, not gonna lie, they didn't really do much with it. - Yeah, I haven't seen much of a change from Funimation. I don't know how well Funimation was doing back then. - Right. - But it seems like they've just gone on business as usual, now. - [Joey] Yeah. - 1.2 billion for Crunchyroll, just kinda sees how much they're investing in anime, I guess. - [Joey] Yeah. - Because they must see the potential in the anime industry to get to like chill out this big of a market share. - I guess, maybe they're willing to throw that much money, because they realized that there is a massive competitor now, and that is Netflix. - Yeah, yeah. - I guess when you put it into perspective of like Twitch was bought out, but that was like, how many years ago was Twitch bought out by Amazon? - Probably around the same time that Sony first bought Funimation. - No it was earlier than that. - Was it? - I think it was like 2016, right? It must've happened, 2015. - Really? - Yeah, but still- - When did they happen Meilyne, can you Google it? - Yeah. - 2014. - 2014. Okay to be fair- - But still Twitch was like the fucking big shit back then. - [Meilyne] Twitch was 970 million. - Yeah, so Twitch was 970 million. - But I guess Twitch in 2014, I understand it really makes sense. Twitch nowadays is pretty worth like, five, six times. Is that right? - Oh, easily. Yeah. - Yeah, I would say that, you know- - Twitch at that point is- - Comparing Crunchyroll now to Twitch back then- - Twitch is still bigger I'd say. - I would say Twitch was a whole property, 'cause everyone was expecting YouTube to buy Twitch. I remember back in the day where it was just like- - Yeah, that's right. - Where it was just like, yeah, everyone's like, well, Google is gonna buy Twitch, that's just a natural move, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And it was a big surprise when Amazon kind of stepped in. - And then Jeff Bezos was like, "JK. (laughing) "I'ma step in." - That's been great for creators, though. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That, that happened. But I'm curious as to why... Do you have any thoughts of might why this might be good or bad for anime fans in general? (Joey sighs) - It just- - I mean, I'd say as a consumer, it would probably be better. Because, okay- - For more money in the industry is always better. - Well, it's not only that, but I remember I would say the golden age of anime streaming was... Remember when you could get every anime you could conceivably want to watch on one platform, which was Crunchyroll back in the day? And then it kinda just like got spread out to different streaming companies. - I mean that was inevitable that it was gonna happened. - It was inevitable. The biggest thing I find annoying, isn't just the fact that I have to pay for different streaming companies. It's just the fact that nowadays when I go through an anime char, I literally have no idea which anime is gonna be in which platform. - Yeah. - That's true, that's true. - Unless it's specifically says like Prime, for example. - Yeah. I just want to log onto one service and be like, okay, I just wanna... Don't care how much I'm paying for this service, I just want to watch all the anime I want to watch in that one service. - Well, it's confusing 'cause I thought "Jujutsu Kaisen," is that correct? - Yeah. - Was on Netflix. - No, that was on Crunchyroll. - It's on Crunchyroll. - But it is on Netflix. - [Joey] Is it? - In Japan? (chuckles) - No, in Japan. - Oh, in Japan. - So, it's really confusing living in Japan. 'cause I'm like, wait, who owns what? Because of Japan and like... Because obviously it's pretty much Japan, rest of the world. That's how the anime market works, right? - Yeah. - Obviously. And it's really confusing. So I'm like, wait, where do I watch it though? I realized Netflix doesn't offer English subtitles probably for that reason with the licensing, right? - Yeah, yeah yeah. - Fuck, it's a mess though. It is a mess. - Yeah. - It's like, how do I know where to fucking watch and what? (Joey laughs) - And then everyone's just laughing being like (laughs), "Piracy." Like TDXT. - Yeah, of course. - I wanna pay, I want an easy service. - I want a convenience service. I'm willing to pay for a convenient service, which for the longest time it was until it wasn't. And now it's like I wanna support the industry, but at the same time, if I'm having trouble finding which service has got which anime, I literally have to... There is a dedicated search engine for this. I think the name is like Because Moe or something, that's the name of the website. That's literally a dedicated search engine to search which anime is on which streaming service. - I love that someone had to make that. - Yeah, I know, right? - That really is telling- - It's like this fucking pre-order like a spreadsheet. Like what do you get in what pre-order it's like a fucking know what's on what. Fuck me. - Well then would you say then in that instance that, I guess a full monopoly of the Western market onto one service is a benefit. - I mean it's not the monopoly though, is it really? Because Netflix is. - Right, but that's what I'm saying though. Like if, for example- - Yeah, monopoly is always bad. - Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. But for example, if Sony, hypothetically is like, hey, we wanna buy the anime side of things from the Netflix's, right? That would truly, I would say, turn it into a monopoly at least in terms of the Western market. - That'd be awful. - That would basically be a monopoly at that point. - That'd be awful for anime fans though. - Yeah, it'll be awful for anime fans, but at the same logic that Garnt was saying, it would all be on one platform too. - That's kinda like the fucking Disney argument, now, isn't it? - Right. - Like, yes, all my characters now are gonna be in the MCU. - [Joey] Yeah. - Yay for monopoly, right? - [Joey] (scoffs) Oh my God. - Because (indistinct), right? It's like with the whole Disney shit it's worrying because if everything's on fucking Disney, we only get Disney ass products. - Right. - I don't want fucking Disney shit. I fucking hate Disney movies. - That remind me of other day when I was streaming, I don't know how true this is, so take this with a grain of salt. But somebody was saying that there's a rumor that Disney might be acquiring "Shonen Jump." - Oh, my God. No, no. - Please no, please. No, seriously. - I don't know how true that is. - Fact-check this Meilyne. - Please, can you fact check this because- - Fact check. - Because he sounded pretty fucking convincing when people in the chat were talking about it. But apparently, Disney is thinking to acquire it because they want to do a collaborative thing between "My Hero Academia" and the MCU. - No. - No. - And I'm just in my head- - That's gotta be a fucking troll though. No way. - If it is a troll, then- - That's gotta be a troll. - That sounds like a meme. - If it's a troll than I've fallen for the bait. But at the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if Disney actually wanted do that. - I cannot stand Disney. - Because, think about it. It's like MCU, super heroes, "My Hero Academia," super heroes. It's a match made in Heaven according to Disney, right? - Right, I can't wait for when fucking Omai shows up in "Avengers Five" or something like that. - Yeah. - Oh my- - I don't see it. - You don't see it? - All right Joey's bullshitting. It is bullshit. - Maybe I'm using the wrong keywords. - Okay. - Oh, my God, you know what that would mean though? The fucking Thanos versus Goku memes like become real. (laughs) And become like a legitimate talking point. - It would be horrible for like a realistic standpoint. But my God the amount of shit post and memes that would come out of this will be fucking epic. Again, take it with a grain of salt. It might be a troll. It might just be- - Joey's talking out of his ass. - I might be talking out of my ass. I don't know. - You are. - That just means every MCU conversation, would end with, both Goku could beat. (chuckles). - But Goku could beat Captain America. (laughing) - But could Goku beat HIV. (laughing) I already liked the way Disney does things with properties and it's worrying that they're acquiring so much. - Right. - Yeah. - They have so much control over things, because yeah, Disney movie is streamlined and it's nice, but you don't get the weird shit from Disney. - Right. - You don't (indistinct) shit. - That's what I'm saying. When I heard about that supposed rumor, or bullshit, or whatever it was, I wasn't immediately, oh, that's bullshit. That's never gonna happen. Because there is a very likely chance it very much might happen. - Yeah. - And if it does happen, then it's gonna be really bad for anime. Anime is gonna get fucking boring when that happens. - I mean, what I would saying now is that so we can basically break down the main plays to be, Crunchyroll, Funimation, Netflix of... Crunchyroll, Funimation and Netflix, and there's Sentai Filmwork doing their own thing. - Yeah. - But I will say that putting those two together, they do have very different brands. Sometimes you watch an anime and you're like, yeah, this feels like a Netflix show. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - "Beastars" felt like it belonged to Netflix. - Yeah. - "Devil May Cry" maybe felt like it belonged on Netflix. What I always say when it was Crunchyroll versus Funimation is that they have exact same branding. So, I'm just like, oh, "Kaguya-sama" is on Crunchyroll, then on Funimation like what? Season two is on Funimation. 'Cause they were both trying to acquire the same show. - It's the same type of consumers, I feel, that use both Funimation and Crunchyroll. And not to say that Crunchyroll users don't use Netflix and vice versa. But I feel that, yeah, as you said, there's a certain, I don't know what the right word for it is. Edginess when it comes to shows on Netflix? - [Garnt] I don't know. - I don't know what the right word for it is. - Netflix is that cooler older brother who comes in and is like, hey, you ever played a game boy? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what I mean? (laughing) You know what I mean, like that vibe. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - We've obviously done work with Netflix, so. - [Joey] Yeah, yeah. - But this is totally separated from that. But I mean their service is the best, man. I mean, obviously the Netflix jail stuff fucking sucks. Sometimes, at least in Japan, the subtitle differences, again, those we obviously know. - [Joey] Right, right, right. - That sucks, but you use that player and it's like, you can't beat that shit. - [Joey] No, no. - You can download it, and now you can do audio only on a mobile, which I love. - Yeah. - 'Cause you used to have to keep... When I used to listen to stuff on Netflix, I used to keep my phone open in my pocket, like the screen going. - Yeah. - But now you can just do audio only. And it's like, oh, my God! It's like they know what I fucking want before I do it. - Okay, but the question is then, what would you watch? What kind of content would work for audio only stuff. Like documentary's. - It's not about that. It's just sometimes I'm in a situation where I- - I couldn't do that for anime, honestly. - No, I'm in a situation where I can't look at my screen for like just two minutes, 'cause maybe I'm getting off the train, maybe I'm walking around real quick. I just wanna lock my phone. But I wanna keep listening, I just got my headphones on. - I get you. - So it's just, quick little moments where you just wanna turn it off, but you don't want content to just stop. - Right, right, right. - Yeah. Honestly, the big thing for me for Netflix is the skip opening button. - Skip opening. - Yeah. - They've also just added the two times speed, 1.5- - Oh, really? - So now you can decide if you wanna be a bastard and watch anime at two times speed. (Joey laughs) - I know it's a fucking cardinal sin to say you could skip opening anime openings, but- - I skip them. - That's made it so much more easier to watch some of the anime. 'Cause let's be honest, let's be honest. - They do it automatically for endings. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - You can physically tell them, no, no, don't. 'Cause every time "The Great Pretender" ended I'm like, no, let me listen. - Yeah. (laughing) - [Joey] I love this song. - I fucking love this. - No, no, no. Sometimes you do watch the ending, and sometimes you do listen to the opening. - Yeah. - But let's be honest, most of the time you wanna skip the opening. You watch the opening ones and it's another generic J-pop opening. - It's a binge. - Especially if you're like binging. - If its a binge. - And I love binging anime. I don't watch anime weekly. So for me, unless it's a fucking banger of an opening which is there's always one or two shows every season but it's not every fucking show. For me "Beastars" was one. I always fucking listen to the "Beastars" opening. - "Beastars has a fucking amazing opening, "Mob Psycho" as well. - I was like, no, no, no, don't skip it. (laughing) Just leave it, Netflix, come on. - Just let it play. - Yeah, come on, I wanna watch this. Yeah, it's great. - Yeah, like, you said, "The Great Pretender" ending which is like... You've always got time for Freddie Mercury. - Come on. - Come on, you've always got time- - Never skip Freddie Mercury. - What time is it? I've got time, regardless. You know what I mean? (laughing) And you can download episodes. I know you could do that on Crunchyroll now, I think, if you pay extra. - You can pay extra to download in Crunchyroll. I have never tried it so I don't know how good the services is. 'Cause I know you can do it on Funimation, but it didn't work that good. - That was always the biggest complaint in Funimation, is that the website was garbage. - Yeah. - As far as I wouldn't know, I can't use it downloading the US. - Yeah. (chuckles) - What do you think the plan is with Sony? Why do you think they decided- - That's a good question. I have no fucking idea. - 'Cause that's what I've always wanted to know, again, right? It's like, what is it about Crunchyroll and Funimation that Sony was like, "We'll drop a billion bucks on this?" - Sony has a movie division. - Right. - It's pretty, I think a big part of their business. - So do you think we'll start to see maybe like funding Sony Original anime on Crunchyroll and Funimation maybe? - Maybe, I don't know. - 'Cause they have to compete with Netflix Originals, right? - Yeah, right now Sony already own the production committee to a lot of anime. - Yeah. - Including like big animes like I think isn't it like "The Demon Slayer?" - Oh yeah, they could be. - Kinda funded "Demon Slayer" because that's Aniplex, right? - I have no idea. - Yeah. - Actually I might be talking out of my ass here. - Which company does Sony own? Is it Aniplex? - Aniplex, yeah. - Yeah Sony owns Aniplex. - Oh, Aniplex is a lot of (indistinct). - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm pretty sure Aniplex was with "Demon Slayer." - Yeah. - They're usually with the majority of the big shonen. - It only makes sense so they'd wanna get a big grip on the Western market. I mean, if you're funding this shit, you already have a lot of say over it, right? - I think right now, I don't know what their plans are, but I think the amount of money they threw at it, just shows how much potential they see for the anime market, right? - Yeah, for real. - Cause. - It's a gold rush right now, I think really. I think all the companies are fighting to get control over the Western market 'cause they realized this shit's big. - It's like an IP race, right? To see how many IP's they can grab, essentially. - While it's still young and it still hasn't fully settled, which is now. Why wouldn't you just throw money at the shit and try and get all the IP's, get all the foundation set up? - True, true. - Do you see anime becoming as big as, say gaming or like other things in a few years? - I do, I do. - Yeah. - Maybe not like hentai, but- - Yeah, maybe not- - Hey man, hey man. You just wait, you just wait boy. You just wait. - You just wait. You just wait till I drop my original hentai and then we will see how big it gets. (laughs) - Listen, right? Everyone watches porn, right? - Yeah. - But there isn't no like Avengers of porn. No, one's discussing like... There's no podcast about porn. I don't think, actually, maybe there is. - Yeah. (chuckles) There's no big discussions about porn and like, oh my God, who's Johnny Sins gonna fuck next on the next episode? - Johnny Sins is the Captain America of porn. - It's not gonna be that Garnt, get your hopes down now, all right? - I don't know man, isn't like Pornhub in like the top 20 most used sites. - Well, they just gutted their library. - Yeah they just destroyed like 60% of their library. (whooshing) This episode is sponsored by EJ Anime Store. Do you know what EJ stands for? - [Connor] And so in Japan "Kamikawa's" official online anime merch store that delivers exclusive merch to overseas anime fans directly from Japan. - Some of their products are only available for a limited time period, so be sure to check the pre-order deadline shown on screen for each item. So what have we got today? - [Connor] The first figure is the "Re:Zero" Petra Leyte tea party version. This figure includes an exclusive bonus, gentlemen, a letter written by the author of "Re:Zero" light novels. - Oh, Nagatsuki Tappei. - [Garnt] A personal letter? - Just to you. - Thank you Nagatsuki sensei. - Petra who newly joins the Roswaal Mansion in "Re:Zero" season two. - There's also the "Made in Abyss" Nanachi plushy. This thing is actually really fucking cute, I want it. - Additionally today we have a bit of a special introduction. As some of you may know, over the span of three days at the end of November, we released a series of streams on each of our Twitch channels as part of a speed run competition in which we had to put together one of the EJ Anime Store plastic model kits, which is this box here. And we had to see who could do it the fastest. - Also known as the "Sword Art Online" Figure-rise Standard Asuna Dengeki pearl color limited version. I said that in one take, let's go. - Oh, my God. - And if you've already watched the streams, you already know who won and lost. - Absolutely getting destroyed. I thought I was fast, and then Connor was like, no, no, no, no. - Hold up. - Hold it. - Okay. So I didn't know this before, but we have a forfeit that the loser had to do, and Meilyne, is about to present to me my forfeit. - I've seen it. I've seen it and it's gross. (laughs) So that's a black- - Oh, that stinks. - It's a black cobra chili. - Meilyne, what the fuck did you buy for me? - No it's not a chili. - What is this Meilyne? - [Meilyne] That's a black cobra chili. - Yeah, that is a black cobra chili, right there. - Meilyne, this is not what we agreed to. - (chuckles) What is this thing? - That's a giant water bug. (laughs) - You should have gotten good. - I'm not gonna fucking forget this. (laughs) This is Meilyne's idea, by the way. Wasn't our idea. Look at this shit. Oh fuck, it's fucking awful. (laughing) - Oh, it just flipped over. - Can you hold one up to the camera, Joey? - Yeah. - That's disgusting. - Oh, yeah. - I would not wanna eat that. Good luck Garnt. So, while Garnt enjoys on his fantastic meal for the evening, EJ Anime Store will be giving away one lucky winner an Asuna figure set with a wall scroll signed by the three of us for free. - Oh, shit, look at that. - [Connor] What? That's pov. - [Joey] It's got our signatures on it. - I have to act excited now. - Look, it's the loser's signature. - [Joey] Oh yeah, right in the corner. - [Connor] All you simply have to do guys is follow their Twitter @ejanimestore, like and retweet their tweet that contains the TTAsunaSpeedRun, and then retweet the post. (whooshing) - It literally smells like swamp. I was trying to figure out what this smells like. - You know what it smells like? It smells like licorice. - And once you do all that you will have the chance to win the Asuna plastic model with the signed wall scroll, gentlemen. - [Meilyne] Tear off it's head, rip off it's wings and squeeze it like a tube of. (laughing) - Wait, say that again. - So, how do you eat this Meilyne? - So you tear off it's head, do you want me to do it for you? - Yeah, yeah. - You tear off it's head. (laughs) (Joey laughs) - Oh, no. - And then you take off it's wings. (screaming) - Oh! - Oh! - And then you just- - Oh, there it is. - Oh, fuck! (claps) - I'm gonna fucking puke. What the fuck. (Joey laughs) - You just give it a suck and that's it. - What the fuck is that? - Just give it that good suck. Wait, can I smell it? Ooh, that's strong, isn't it? (laughs) - So, if you missed the stream, watch the archive on our Twitch channels as a reference to build your own model. Both the regular version and the special bonus wall scroll set set will be available on the EJ Anime Store website. So, check the links in the description to speedrun it yourself. Please try and beat our times. How is it Garnt? How does it taste? - He just spat it out? - It has the worst fucking after... (banging) I need some... Gimme this G Fuel, man. - Wait, do you wanna- - That is disgusting. - Do you wanna eat the cobra chili instead? There you go, eat that. (laughs) - [Meilyne] That whole thing is 60,000 units. (Joey laughs) - I'm fucking dying. (dramatic music) What the fuck? Why did I just do that? - That's what you get from moseying around in a speed run. - I wanted to get honestly- - Oh God, I can smell the chili from here. - Honestly, the chili is like a fucking breath of fresh air, compared to what I tasted. My mouth is on fucking fire right now, but it feels better than that fucking water bug, man. - I don't know why, but I kinda wanna try it. Am I allowed to just try it? - [Meilyne] Go for it, there's three of them. One for you- - Oh, hey Connor, there's one for you as well. You want one? - Oh, I'm okay, I'm okay. I wouldn't - So, what do you do? You rip off the head. - Rip off the head, take out the wings. - So, wait, what is this used for? What is this fucking thing- - For food. Oh God, that's very juicy. - [Garnt] Yeah. (whines) It's like salty- - Oh, God, look at that. - [Connor] I don't wanna look at that. Don't show me, don't pry it's asshole open in front of me. - Wait, let me try. (soft instrumental music) - [Connor] Oh, God, Joey. - [Garnt] It literally tastes like salty swamp. That's literally what it like. (laughing) Did you spit it out? Where did you spit it out? - In the (indistinct). - I just swallowed it. - [Meilyne] Do you want a purin? - Yeah, actually, you know what. (laughs) - Well, thank you EJ Anime Store for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. - Fuck you Meilyne. - Back to the episode. - Fuck you! - Back to the episode. - Fuck you! (whooshing) (whines) - I'm fucking bored talking about anime. (laughing) Fuck anime. - We're not even an anime podcast anymore. - Imagine talking about anime on "Trash Taste" guys. - [Joey] Ew! - I feel like I'm attempting to be the Winnie The Pooh meme, like the high class one when I talk about anime. I'm trying to form opinions. I don't have opinions Joey. (Joey laughs) I don't have well formed- - I just watch that shit. - I don't have well formed opinions about things. - What, you think we do? - I just say what I feel, okay? - I mean, you don't have well formed opinions about anything- - Fuck off, Garnt! Fuck off! - Anime, food, gaming. - Oh, no. - Let's be honest here, let's be honest here. - I went on a little run on my stream the other day, just being like, Garnt is actually like, your parents didn't beat you enough. (laughing) - What? - Because, right? Listen, he was allowed to get away with not eating crusts, right? If I didn't eat my crust- - Oh, I think I saw you talking about that. (chuckles) - If I didn't eat my crust right, you know what my parents would do? They'd be like, "That's fine, Connor, "You have dinner ready for tomorrow now." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I'll be like, but mom, I don't want them. She's like, "No Connor, you're eating fucking crust. "You're not wasting food?" - Who says that I didn't get my ass beat for not eating my crust? - Did you? Were you like fucking Spartacus, like, mother I will not bow to the crust. - Because I had gone my entire fucking childhood having to being forced to eat my crust. So as soon as I was a fully grown adult, who can make my own fucking decisions. - This is what I'm saying. - I was like, mother, I do not care what you think anymore. I'm going to not eat my crust. - I pay my own rent. - I pay my own bills. I buy my own food. Fuck you mother. (laughing) - All I'm saying is you should've got a backhand a little bit more. You know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It should have been a little harder. (laughs) - That's such a bad joke, I'm so sorry. - There is something that I didn't fully appreciate as a kid or like I didn't fully- - Crust. - No, not crust. (laughs) - Good food. - Not crust, but like- - We're not getting into food by the way. - We're not getting into food again. But I was yesterday fucking cleaning the house and I fucking hate cleaning the house. (Joey laughs) I don't think anyone in their entire life likes cleaning the house. And I didn't realize why my parents fucking... Basically just every parent manipulates their kids to be like their personal slaves. - Do my job slave. - When it comes to cleaning the house. - Well, that's the reason why they used to have so many kids, right? And it was like, they got to plow the fields, right? I intend to keep that British philosophy alive when I have a kid. - You need seven kids. - He needs to plow the fields, and clean the house, and prepare the food. - Yeah, Connor's gonna like mean max that shit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right, my house has six rooms. So that's six children, I need to have, at least. (laughing) One per room. - I'm not gonna beat my kids Valerie. That was a distasteful joke. Just saying that now. - Yeah, 'cause why is the activity of cleaning just so awful. (Joey laughs) Does anyone... Who actually enjoys cleaning the house? - When you get rid of a lot of dirt, that's why I let it build up. I let it get gross. - Right, right - 'Cause when you clean that shit, it's like peeling off a good scab. - All right, - Its like, oh. Oh, it's so clean. - Yeah, but- - I need to see a physical layer of dust in order for me to be like, yes. - Dude when you swipe a whole layer of dust off with like a wet wipe or something, damn that feels good. That takes that (indistinct) - I get like a quarter chub, at least. (laughing) - But I don't like cleaning. - No. - No, because like, yeah, that is a satisfying feeling. But my problem with is that cleaning just... Shit I never knew as a kid how much fucking time and effort it takes to clean. - [Joey] Oh yeah. - Okay, when you're a kid, you just clean your own fucking room. You hoover the living room. - I didn't even do that. - Or whatever- - I did that. - Oh, you lucky motherfucker. - Yeah. - You lucky motherfucker. - I would, but then five minutes later it'd be back to where it was. So my parents were just like, whatever. - Like I still have fucking Vietnam flashbacks of my mom calling me like, I know she's about to ask me to hoover the living room, I know it. (chuckles) I don't wanna come down right now. - This time I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. (laughing) - But yeah, I realized as an adult the act of cleaning just like, it takes you all day. And the reason I hate it is because it feels like, you know when you do something productive, you do a hard day of work or something, or like even playing a video game, you feel like you're making progress with your life. - I don't know about the video game thing, but- - No, no, like when it... Like for me, whenever I'm playing like a first person game, like a single-player game, making progress with this story. - Yeah, okay, okay, okay. - Yeah something like that, - I don't know about that. (laughing) - This guy. - Like a JRPG, right? - They're like a JRPG. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel you, I feel you. - I love wasting my time. - With cleaning, the whole.. The entire concept of cleaning is that you're working towards making things zero again. You're working towards zero. - [Joey] Yeah, yeah. - You're working towards making things normal again. - Oh! - Oh, what happened? - Oh, it switched off? - Sorry, Joey laptop is shit. - But yeah, you're working towards making the default state zero again. - Right. - And I'm just like, this doesn't feel good, yet it takes so much time and energy to do it. And no one prepared this for me as a kid. - It's like shoveling snow in a blizzard, right? - Yeah, right. - It's gonna form back up again. So it's like, what's the point? - I only used to clean on like... This is how I would decide if I'm gonna clean this day. Is somebody coming to my house? No, I'm not cleaning. (Joey laughs) Is somebody coming to- - That is still my stay. - Yeah, is somebody coming to my house? Fine, I'll clean. You know what the best adult purchase I ever made while I was in the UK? - What? - What? - It was a good vacuum. I was like, you know what? What's all this hype around here's Dyson things? What is all that hype? 'Cause I lived with a friend- - It's just a brand. - Yeah, I lived with a guy and his dad worked for the Henry Hoovers. - Yeah, yeah. - You know those like the fucking... The ones with a smiley face. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Little smiley face? - [Joey] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I don't know if these are in America, but their everywhere in the UK. - Right. - These things they're like tanks, they don't die. But they also kinda suck. They don't suck good. They should be sucking good. (indistinct) (Joey laughs) And I'm like, this guy in my house, I was like, I wanna get a Dyson. And he was like, "No, no, no mate. "No, no. "All you need is this thing." And he fucking slaps it. He's like, "It's a fucking unit, this thing is." And I broke it within two weeks. (laughs) That's my own thought there. - What the fuck did you suck up? - The border. (laughing) - Well, that'll do it. - I was like, oh no, I have to get a new one. Oh no. - Oh, no there's a puddle, quick grab the hoover. - Oh no, I have to get a new vacuum. Fuck. (laughing) No. So I bought a Dyson, dude. That shit cleaned up... It could have, oh my God! The carpet was a different color. I was like, what have I been doing my whole life? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - I never believed in that Dyson shit too, until I bought one a couple of years ago. - Bro, it changes the game. - Lets see how good these are? And I do it, I was like, all right. Not buying anything else anymore. This is the one thing. - You crank that shit up to max suck and like, oh, my God. - It gives the good suck. - The shit. - The max suck. - The max suck. - Here's how I could... Okay, this Dyson has all this bullshit about rotating fucking things like 10 cylinder. It's a load of shit. Let me say why it's good, right? You know that one piece that always sticks to the fucking carpet that doesn't come off. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Dyson never has an issue getting that one crumb out of the carpet. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That shit always comes out. 'Cause the normal vacuums they don't get that shit out. - No. - There's always that one thing that for some reason won't come out. you gotta fucking- - It's just like clinging onto the carpet with dear life, right? - And then you're like, how many roll overs am I gonna do this thing until I just admit defeat, bend over, pull out of the carpet, like an animal, and feed it into the vacuum like it's some budget dog. I'm like here you go, here you go. Come on, take, take. I don't like doing that. - Yeah. - I don't wanna do that. I'm not a peasant. I shouldn't have to touch my carpet with my hands. That's disgusting. - Okay. (laughs) - So yeah, that's how I can sell it to you. You will never have to bend over. (laughing) - You'll never have to bend to the knee. - Dude, it's amazing, dude. And that was my gift to my parents when I went to Japan. Obviously I couldn't bring it with me. - Right. - So I was like, parents, you can have my priced possession. - Here's a vacuum cleaner. - [Joey] Here's a vacuum. - I'm like bending over, like giving them like the sword of Camelot. Like, fucking here you go mother. (laughing) Take it. Take my Dyson V12 max suck edition. All right. (chuckles) To be fair, she thought it was all nonsense, but she tried it. She was like, "All right Connor, "this is a pretty fucking good gift." - Yeah, I get you. - She was converted. - You're welcome mum. - She was converted. - Which is a lot like the biggest reason I don't cook or I don't like cooking, is because cooking... I like cooking. Cooking's great, I like the food, Cleaning up, man. It's like the ratio of time it takes to clean up, versus eating good food, nice home cooked food, it's not optimal. It's so sub-optimized. The entire activity of cleaning is just sub optimized in life. - You've become like me, I swear, recently. - No, no, no. - You're caring about the splits, the efficiency. (laughs) - Cleaning for me has always been suboptimal. I don't know why this is the one activity in life that it's just like, this needs to be balanced. There needs to be like a balanced patch in life that just makes cleaning less effort. - It's like doing a 20-minute side quest to get to a two-minute main question. - [Garnt] Yeah because it- - It just doesn't make sense. - It takes more like... it's a side quest that takes more time and energy than the fucking main quest. You finish cleaning (Joey laughs) and you're like, all right, time to get down to work. - It's like cool, I'm glad I spend 30 minutes cooking this thing that took me two minutes eat. - Yeah, yeah. Exactly, exactly, right? - I order a lot of Uber Eats, obviously. And I caved and in Japan they have an Uber Eats pass, where if you pay $9 a month, you get free delivery fee. So there's no delivery fee which is like two bucks each time. - Yeah. - And I was like, fuck dude am I really ordering this much fucking take out? And I was like, yeah, I am. - Yeah. - And then I did it in my head, right? I did this thing where for three times when I cooked, I timed it. - Yeah. - I didn't speed run it or anything. I wasn't doing splits or anything. I wasn't like- - Expendedicts, 80%. - Yeah, I was... (laughing) This is the onion split. Oh, I got a gold onion split. No, I wasn't doing that. I just had a timer and I timed genuinely how long it took, right? - Yeah. - And then I timed cleaning up, right? - Yeah. - Because I wanted to know, based on my average earnings for a month, right, (laughing) is this technically, am I losing money by cooking myself? - [Joey] Right, right, right. - 'Cause I was like, this is how I can scientifically justify to myself ordering takeout. - Right, right. - Right? So, I split it up, right? I did the average... No, I knew you guys would fucking laugh at me for this. - It's just hilarious that you went to this effort. - This is big brain. - All right, well. - Do it yourself, right? Go home now. - No, I don't have to 'cause you've done it for us, right? - I do not enjoy cooking. So that whole factor of enjoyment is gone. That's not a factor of my decision. - But do you enjoy the end result? - I enjoy Uber Eats more. (laughing) - Bro you- - No, there is something about a home cooked meal. I don't know what it is. - Okay to be fair- - 'Cause you can cook it exactly the way you wanted to. - There's a charm about a home cooked meal if you know how to cook. - Yeah. (laughing) My cooking's mixed. - If you don't then its just like punishment. - You should try it sometimes Joey. - No, no, I'm good. - Just tell Akie to be like, yo. - I only make like curry and Mexican. That's all I make, right? - (chuckles) Right. - Honestly, that's all you need in my book. - Right, right, right. - Yeah, yeah. So Mexican food, I can't really like make enough to store, 'cause it's really expensive, the ingredients as well. - Yeah. - But curry, I can only make like enough for like six meals. And that's just pretty nice 'cause then that like the like time versus money effort is fine. But I don't cooking anything else, because when I did this thing, I found out that I was like wasting, if you did the time to money conversion on my earnings to like... It was like 40% less efficient to cook my own meals. - Connor's got like a fucking Spreadsheet (indistinct). - Because it was driving me insane, because I was speaking to some people who were like this fucking entrepreneur people. They're like, "I never cook or clean or any thing. "I hire a maid, I get Uber Eats. "I don't do any of that shit. "It's a waste the time. "I'm on that grind 24/7." In reality, I would like an extra hour to play video games I'm not gonna lie. (Joey laughs) Because in my life, an extra hour to play video games it's quite a lot of time. - Yeah. - So if I can get an extra hour playing video games and then I can then later on spend an extra hour working it's like, okay, it makes sense to just get Uber Eats - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's just Connor the podcast trying to justify his spending. Is that what this is? - No, no, no, no. - Is this rich people problem? I'm kidding, I'm joking. (laughs) - It's entrepreneurial problems. (laughs) No, I completely- - I mean, this is why we became fucking entrepreneurs, right? - Yeah. - I've never fucking enjoyed cleaning in my life. - No. - I never will enjoy cleaning. And- - You know what's the only, I guess housework quote, unquote that I really enjoy? - [Garnt] Yeah. - Doing the laundry. - Okay, laundry is nice. There's something about laundry, it hits man. - I really like it. It's like, I just put some music on, I'm outside- - Oh, you still clean. You still clean. - Yeah, usually it's a nice day and I'm just hanging up my clothes, and I'm just like, hey, you know what? - No. - Stress free. - Bro- - Sub-optimize. - Listen, listen. (laughing) - No. No, no, no. - This is why Sydney does the laundry. - Oh my God. - Thank you Sydney by the way. - This is why I get a woman to do it. (laughing) I laugh sometimes, 'cause my mom's like, "You're gonna need to learn how to do "the laundry someday, someday." And then Sydney come- - Formigation family bond. (laughing) - And then Sydney comes along and it's like, I love laundry. Laundry is so relaxing. - It is, it is. - I'm like, you- - I'll think of thing of like your old school teacher being like you're not gonna carry a calculator with you every day. It's like (laughs), about that? - I'm gonna say it dude, when you have fresh sheets not only is that sleep the best. - Yeah. - It's the best wank you'll have in like a whole month dude, (laughs) in fresh sheets, dude. - You're disgusting. - Wait, you wank away. - Why am I disgusting Meilyne. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, time out, time out. - That was... Sorry, you can (indistinct). - Are you like wanking onto your sheets. Are you like jizzing on to it? - I'm outside on the fucking... No I'm kidding. Now, when you put them on, it's so fresh, the room smells nice, and it feels comfortable. You're like, ah, time to wank. (laughing) - That was the biggest they had us in the first half I've ever had on this podcast. 'Cause I was gonna be like, yeah I know exactly what you... Wait, what the fuck. What are you saying? - Are you saying you don't like that. Come on, Garnt. - I don't jerk off in my bed. - Yeah, I don't jerk off in my bed, so that's probably why. - Okay, well if you have sex in it as well, its also great. - Yeah, that's not what you said though. You said fucking (indistinct). - If you would have said that, then we would be like, yes I agree Connor, but- - Same thing, same thing. The same climax in the bed, fresh sheets, all the same thing, dude. (laughs) - No, I love fresh sheets. I hate the process of getting fresh sheets. - Okay, like putting on bed sheets- - Okay, you've seen my setup. (laughs) - Wait, what's your setup? - Connor. (laughs) - Okay wait. (laughs) - Connor has like... Okay, you look at Connor's gaming setup, it's like perfect. Everything is like optimized. Then you see his bed, and it's like, one of those Reddit reacts to some of the worst fucking gaming setups you've ever seen. It's like a $2 bed set up. - Yeah. - You just have like a fucking towel on your fucking mattress. - No, no. - So there's literally nothing in my bedroom except a bed. And there's like, literally nothing. There's like this- - Why not? - I don't know, it's for my fucking bedroom, I just sleep in there and do anything else, that's worth it. - Yeah, your bed frame is like broken, isn't it? - Yeah, it's broken as well, yeah. (Joey laughs) 'Cause I bought the cheapest one on Amazon when I moved here. - Right. - Cause, moving is expensive, right? - Yeah. - And it was so expensive that I was like, fuck I gotta cut cost. But I regret it because I bought a $200 bed and that was the mattress combined. - Yeah. - And this shit fucking awful. All the Springs are fucked, the beds broken. - It's literally- - You were talking so much about like, yeah, why would you buy a $20 headset, when you can just buy a $100 one and you get your money's worth? - Here's the thing, here's the thing, I had that philosophy, but again moving kind of like distorts your price range. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because you're spending like... I got to put down like a fucking 4K deposit on this shit, the flights are this much, I had to pay shipping for my PC. Like I was spending a lot of money. I'm like, fuck! I'm kinda losing a lot of money. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - I've gotta start saving costs. I can't buy a 10K bed frame. - [Joey] Right, right, right. - So I bought the cheapest one on Amazon, which I regretted within about two weeks. (Joey laughs) Actually no, immediately when I built it, 'cause building it was a pain in the fucking ass. 'Cause I could tell when I was building it, I'm like, oh no, this isn't even like budget plywood. This is like the throw away plywood that they would use- - This is like the foamy plywood. - It's the worst. - I remember seeing the exact bed frame you bought on Amazon, and it was like two and a half stars. And that's when I knew that- - Listen. (laughs) - Mistakes were made. - Yeah. - I just wanted something and I wanted it now, and I've regretted it so much. But anyway, what happened was, the most ghetto thing that I have is that I'm actually using a bed sheet as like a mattress cover. - Wait what? - Yeah. (laughs) - So what happened was, right- - How do you stretch that sheet over it? - Okay, actually with a lot like the fucking power of Zeus, (Joey laughs) I'm like (groans). I'm like pulling the Red Sea back together when I'm trying to put these bed sheet. It's a zip. - Yeah. - It goes all around my mattress. - Oh, you fucking zipped it around your mattress. - Oh yeah. - You like put it in? (laughing) - Right, right. - You just fucking like condomed your mattress. - What the fuck did you do? - I'm like fucking Spartacus, when he's kicking the guy. I'm like doing that to my mattress every time I wash it. (groans) - Wait, you have to do that every time you wash your mattress as well, sorry, wash your bed sheet? - So I wash my bed sheet as well, yeah, yeah. - So I have- - So you have to fucking strip this thing out and then wash it, and then condom it back in. - Because- - I feel so sorry for your bed sheet, man. - Yeah. - Its very stretch. Okay, but also I do avoid that annoying thing. This is like the only plus in this. I've gone to the many negatives. The only plus is that, you know that fucking annoying thing when you're sleeping and the bed sheet comes off in the corner? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can never get it back on unless you actually get off the bed. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I fucking hate that, that sucks. Never have that issue. - Because the entire thing is wrapped. (laughs) - Yeah, its zipped up around it. - No, no. I can see like the benefits of it, because the best bedsheets are the ones that are like super tight, they're firm. - Firm, firm. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - If I see wrinkles on that sheet, (sighs) that's like instant- - You know it's soft too because sometimes you'll wake up and on your body you have imprints. - Oh, I hate that. - Yeah. - And then I'm just like, what the fuck is that? - Instant soft sheet right there. - I do have a backup bed sheet, which is actually like proper, but I refuse to use it unless I'm desperate because I love this one, and I like even putting it back on. - You love fucking turning your mattress into a beanbag. - So here's how I ended up with bed sheet as my duvet and it goes all around my mattress. I fully put it all around my mattress and zip it up all around. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So when I moved here, I went to Nitori, which is kinda like Japanese Ikea, which I think we mentioned before. I go there, right. So I buy the pillows, the pillow sheets. I buy the duvet and I go to the staff member, and I ask him. And like I'm making sure I've got Google translate, man. I'm like, duvet or like whatever they're fucking called, blanket, whatever? I did not say fucking futon. I did not say futon. I'm showing him, I'm like this. I even showed a picture. I'm like, I want this. - Like a matrix, like a couple of matrix. - This part. Which one is this? Then like broken Japanese with Google translate. It's like, oh, no problem fam. I got you. Points me to this, I buy it. I get home, what do you think it is? It's a fucking futon. And he saw me buy the futon, another futon, it wasn't even in the same section as well, so that's where I was confused when I got home, so I'm like, wait, this was in a different section. Why don't we have two different futon types? What is this? So I have two fucking futon covers. So I have the bed sheet and then I have, yeah, the mattress. (Joey laughs) So I got home and I needed to sleep. So I'm like, well, fuck it. It's going in one way or another. It's going over my bed. I think Garnt helped me the first time get it on. This was a two-person- - It was a two-person job. - Like how the fucking do you get that on yourself? - So, the stuff we got... Okay. - I thought- - Do you like cold, Garnt every time? (laughing) - You Just assumed that you've got a duvet now? - I've mastered the technique of doing it, right. (Joey laughs) Okay, this is what I do. To get it off it's easy. 'Cause it's like you're letting- - It wants to get off. - Yeah, yeah. It's like letting a pig out of clothes. That sheet wants to come up. - Yeah. - Get it back on, right? Okay, first of all, this is the setup. I flip my mattress to the side. So it's upright. And then I fucking pull over half. And I flip it upside down the other end, pull it up. And then this basically, what happens is that it's up to here, right? So this is horizontal way, right? - Yeah, yeah. - I've got to basically force this sheet together. Grab it together and hold it. And it hurts my hands 'cause it's tight. I gotta like slowly pull a little bit by little bit. And if I let go, it all goes back. So I have to keep grabbing a little bit and zipping, grabbing a little bit and zipping. It's a pain in the fucking ass and I hate it. - Why don't you just get a fucking duvet? - It's like putting on the world's largest condom. - No, no dude. (indistinct) is the bed sheet. - Just get a proper bed sheet. - Yeah, just get a proper bed sheet. - Because, you know what? I love the firmness of it. I love how tight it is around my bed- - Just get a fucking bed sheet. - At this point, you might as well not even have a fucking bed sheet. - Why, why? I like it. - No, no, no. - There's a difference between having no bed sheet and having a firm bed sheet. - I sweat like a motherfucker. I need a bed sheet. - Right. - Yeah. - So then just buy a fucking bed... It's like a thousand yen. - I don't know, I've kind of gotten used to it now. (laughing) I kinda like it now though- - Its not a struggle to him obviously - This man literally made a Spreadsheet trying to optimize cooking and he can't even buy a fucking bed sheet. - Well. (roars) (laughing) Because then I gotta optimize that. That's another thing I would optimize. I'm sick of it man. Well, to be fair, that whole organization with the Uber Eats was just to justify to myself why I can have pad thai three times a week. - Right, right. - To be honest. (chuckles) - I like the final result of cooking and cleaning fucking bedsheets. But like having to change your duvet, do you find it annoying? It's like fiddliest fucking thing ever to like take the duvet off and like putting it back on, and having to make sure every corner is perfectly situated on every- - If you have a zipped up one every corner will be. - No, no, no. - It doesn't have a choice. - Not the bed sheet, the actual fucking blanket part. - Oh, that's easy, 'cause the ones in Japan, big brain. They come with the holes at the end, so you can just flip it up inside, out, grab the thing, and then. - Yeah, that's what I always do. - Did you know you could do that? - Yeah. - No. What? - That's what I've done ever since I was little - So you turn it inside out. - Yeah, I do that. - And then you, like a little ghost, you put it over you- (indistinct) with both hands. - Yeah, I do that. - And you grab the ends of the futon, and then you just like flip it over, and then shake it down. - Yeah then shake it down. - And then release. - But like for me, I don't know if- - Isn't that that what hotels do? Yeah, 'cause they gotta speedrun it, 'cause they're doing like a hundred rooms. - I don't know if my like... 'Cause I think I have like my fucking nightmare where my duvet is not the same size as my blanket. It's slightly bigger. (Joey laughs) So I always have like left- - I hate that, I hate that. - So you have like a little bit of fabric left over. - Oh my God, It triggers me so much, man. - I hate the ones like... Our old fucking duvet it was the perfect size. But the problem was is that it would... The duvet inside would move around. - I hate that. - Yeah. - So like one end of the duvet would just have like, just fucking scrunched up so that you try and pull it over, it's just sheet. And I'm just like fuck, where the fucking duvet go? - This why I think you are most likely to have a mental breakdown when you're doing your bedsheets, or putting your duvet on. I don't know what it is- - That's why I fucking hate it, man. That's why I fucking hate it. - I don't know what it is about putting sheets on, but what if it just doesn't work? You're like, fuck it. I just wanna cry and just be like, why won't it work? Why won't it work? Why is my day going bad. - I used to work in a hotel lodges in like ski fields and stuff, and I had to do that shit every fucking day. - Really? - Yeah. So I basically- - Do you shovel shit out of the drains and then you gotta go do that? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I was basically- - That sounds like my nightmare. - Yeah, so at first I fucking hated it. I was like, oh- - And then he came to adopt the sheet. - There's 30 rooms in this hotel, that doesn't seem too bad. Five rooms in and you're like, fuck man, I wanna go home. Just fucking around with the duvet. It's just like not going in. I have 25 rooms left to do this. - I would actually have a mental breakdown if I just do like five sheets in like one hour. I would actually be like, no, I don't think life is for (indistinct). - Yeah. - I'm like, I'm not getting paid enough for this shit. - I would actually work in- - I'd rather shovel shit. - Yeah, I'd rather shovel shit and like fucking get shouted at McDonald's than do five duvets in a row, man. - So now I'm just used to it 'cause I've lived through that fucking Vietnam war. - What didn't you do at this job, Joey? Jesus Christ. (Joey scoffs) - I didn't work in the kitchen, that's for sure. (laughs) - Yeah, because there's something fucking special about hotel duvets. Getting in like a hotel bed and just feeling like you're in a fucking straight jacket, I don't know, man. I fucking love that feeling. - I don't like it when hotels do that, when they fucking- - Yeah, because you get in the bed and you're like, what is this, the world's fucking strongest man for weight pulling? - You just have to fucking like shimmy yourself into it. - Yeah. - I love that feeling. You feel like fucking safe. You feel covered. - No, I feel like I'm in a straight jacket. - This is my safe zone right now and no one can fucking touch me. I feel like a moth. I feel like a fucking caterpillar who is like about to fucking- - No! (laughs) - Okay, what about... I hate it when they tuck half the fucking duvet under the front of the bed. So you're getting in and it's like you're trying to fucking tow a car when you're pulling this sheet out. You're like this on the bed. (groans) - I just shimmy myself in and I'm just like, ah. I feel like I'm back in my mom's room right now. Nothing can harm me. - I can't even shimmy myself in. It's like I'm trying to get into pants five sizes too small. It's just like, fuck I gotta get in. - I feel bad as well when they put like a cloth on the bed, I don't know, like that sheet they put on the front of the bed. I'm like, get rid of that. Get that fucking out of here. - Oh the thing at like the end? - It's like a linen thing or something. I don't know what it is. - You know what that's for? - What is that for? - It's for... Apparently it's an American thing. Apparently it's so that you can wear shoes on the bed. (gasping) - Oh! - I'm about to leave right now. - So, you probably seen it before in hotels where there's just like this one weird like fucking tablecloth size- - Yeah I hate that thing. - [Connor] At the end of the bed, right? - That's for shoes? - That's the shoes. - But they do that in Japanese hotels where you have to take your shoes off at the front. - Yeah, that's what I don't understand. - Why? (laughs) - Okay, okay. - I understand in American hotels- - As the only white person here- - No, no, no. (Joey laughs) Don't put this on me. - I need your opinion. - I was raised correctly. (Joey laughs) - Shoes on sofas and beds. - No, it- - Does that trigger you, as it should? - Yes, yes. Of course. My parents would hit me if I did that. You kidding me? - I've never understood. I always thought, you know when you'd watch "The Simpsons" or like American TV shows or whatever, how they would take their shoes off before going to bed. They would like keep their shoes on the side of the bed, and then when they wake up the first thing they would do is put shoes on. I just thought that was like parody. I didn't actually think Americans did that. - I mean, it's not just America, it's most of the fucking West. As an Asian, I'm just like, why did the West just normalize war cries? - I'm like, why your like dirty fucking gross ass shoes on the carpet? That shit's gross. (laughs) - That's what blows my mind. I'm like, you are literally dragging daily shit into your carpet by bringing your shoes in. It drives me insane. - And then people complain being like, oh man, I hate carpet because it's so dirty. I'm like, well, yeah cause you're put your own shoes. - Whenever I would go to a friend's house and they would be like... And I go to his house and he would be like, "It's okay, you can keep your shoes on." I'm like, motherfucker, tell me to take my shoes off. I want to take my shoes off, man. - I would actually (indistinct). I'm not a fucking animal. I'm not gonna bring dirt into the house, all right? - I don't know what it is, but when I'm shitting with shoes on in somebody's house, it feel so weird. (Joey laughs) I feel like I'm in a public restroom. I don't wanna shit with my shoes on. I wanna be comfortable, man. Yeah, this shit drives me insane. And there's people... There'll be people call me and be like, "I wear my shoes in bed." Stop. - Stop. - Stop. - For your own sake, please stop. - It's gross. - Please. If you wanna go against the Geneva Conventions, just do it. Do it in your own fucking- (Joey laughs) - It goes against basic human rights. - Yeah, I know right. (laughing) - To wear shoes in bed. - I love all our fans except for the ones that wear shoes to their bed. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. (laughing) - All my homies hate people who wear shoes in bed. - My God. I went to fucking... Jesus, my editor Evan, I went to his house and that was disgusting. (Joey laughing) He had like a five inch thick carpet. - [Joey] Right? - I don't know what color this carpet was supposed to be, but it definitely wasn't the color that it came as. This shit was vile, dude. Evan, fix that fucking carpet man. And they all will wore like the dirtiest shoes inside, and I was like, Evan, I can't, I can't. - Right, I'm like have you not heard of house slippers? - I know right? - Yeah. - If you have to wear something, just wear slippers. - Why? What's wrong with bare feet, man or socks. - Yeah, but even if, dude slippers, it's fine, it's clean. - Okay. (whooshing) - This video is sponsored by Skillshare. - No matter what 2021 brings, you can spend it creating something meaningful with SkillShare's online classes, because time is what we make of it. - Damn, that's deep. - [Connor] SkillShare is an online learning community that offers membership with meaning. So much to explore, real projects to create, and the support of fellow creatives. Skillshare empowers you to accomplish really growth, Garnt. - Listen, I don't upload onto Instagram and do selfies, and stuff like that often. But when I do, I want myself and whatever I'm taking- - Naturally. - To look clean, right? You want it to look good? - Exactly, exactly. - So I use iPhone Photography: How to Shoot and Edit Conceptual photos on Your Phone, taught by Adobe creative resident, Amelie Satzger. - Holy shit, holy fuck man. - And I watched that and I was like, hey, you know what, you can take good photos with your iPhone. That's exactly what I do. - I would definitely use that, because I post on Instagram at least once every- - Who's carrying around a DSLR at all times. - Exactly. - You carry your phone around though. - Yeah. - That's true. - For the like the one post in every two years, I post on Instagram it'll be fucking perfect for. - Yeah, you need it more than anybody. - [Connor] With SkillShare, you can find inspiration in the moment, and learn how to express your creativity. - Bring color, beauty, and fun to your year- - All caps. (laughing) - Add vivid details and craft complex wonders. - [Joey] Skillshare is also incredibly affordable, especially when compared to pricey in-person classes and workshops, and annual subscription is less than 10$, gentlemen. - I mean they're practically giving it away. - Explore your creativity at skillshare.com/trashtaste and get a free trial of premium membership. - That's skillshare.com/trashtaste, link's down in the description below. Thanks you for sponsoring the episode, back to the show. (whooshing) - Going back to the topic of beds and everything. Opinions on pajamas. Do any of you guys wear pajamas? - I sleep naked. - Specifically like pajamas. - Yeah, just pajamas. - No, for me it's just like underwear and some random T-shirt. - All right, good. I don't understand pajamas at all. And some people- - Do you wear a T-shirt to bed? I don't wanna wear... Why would you wear a T-shirt To bed? - Unless it's like fucking stinking hot, like in the summer, I'll wear no shirt. But most of the time I have to wear a shirt. - Max comfort is the least amount of clothes you could wear, basically. And you basically only wear boxers so you're fucking dangly bits don't go everywhere. That's pretty much the only reason though. - I like the freedom though. Let them loose. (laughs) I'm sleeping, I wanna be comfy. - No like, I don't know. I like wearing a T-shirt because sometimes in the morning the weather can completely change. Especially nowadays in the winter, I'm a little bit too cold if I don't wear, at least a T-shirt, even with the heater on. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But yeah, I don't know. - What about when you stay like a friend's house? Do you wear a T-shirt when you sleep? 'Cause I'm just like immediately, I'm like, right I'm stripping. I'm getting- - It depends how close I am to that friend, really? - It doesn't matter who they are, right? If I'm staying in your house, I'm sorry. I'll sleep with boxers on, I'll humor you. (laughs) I won't get my junk everywhere. I'll sleep with boxers on. - So like you can just not wear a shirt. - I can't sleep with the T-shirt on. - Why? - Why? - I don't know, I feel like I'm outside still? When I take the T-shirt off, in my head it signifies, okay we're going to bed or I'm going in the bath. - Are you the type of person who like when doing a serious heavy shit, you have to like take your shirt off - No, but. (Joey laughs) - Wait, wait. - No, I know people like that. - Go back. - You don't know people like that? - No. - I do, I do. (laughs) - I had a few friends where like if the pain was really fucking, it was such a powerful shit. They'd be to like fully get out like a 100% of their power, they would to take my shirt off. - You're trolling me. - No, no, no, no. You know right? You know people like that. They're just like, "Fuck man, I need to take my shirt off "to get serious with this shit." - What the fuck is this? (laughs) - How did you not know this? - This is satire. - No, its so serious. - Where is the hidden camera? No fucking way is this true right now. - I'm serious, I'm serious. - What, do you think like fucking Goku would've wait to cheer us or something? Its just like, hold on. Let me use a 100% of my power to push this shit out. - Yeah. Because you're sweating so hard, you're just like, I need to take my shirt off. - Also when you're like hung over- - (indistinct) I can't. (laughing) - When you're hung over, the shits are terrible, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So you're like, fuck, I just woke up. I'm naked, so fuck it, I'll do it when I'm naked 'cause it's just better. - Not gonna lie, I've had moments where the shit's been so powerful and stressful where I'm just like, I have to take my shirt off. (laughing) - And I don't know if it's like- - I don't do that, but I know people who do. - Yeah, I don't know if it's like placebo, but it works. (laughs) He's fucking crying. - I'm fucking imagining like fucking Tyler (indistinct) on this shit. (screaming) Just like. (groans) (laughs) - The only time when I'm like- - I can't believe this is real. - If I'm ever vomiting, I wanna be naked. - What? - Because I don't wanna get that shit anywhere or smell my clothes. So I'm like, I'll just get naked and I'll hug this toilet bowl until I'm done. - But if your hugging it, then there's no way you're gonna fucking blah onto your shirt, right? - I just don't want in my clothes at all, man. - Right. - I'm like, I don't know. And also, it feels better. I don't know why. I need to get like... (Joey laughs) This is restrictive, I'm getting stuffy in these. I just wanna vomit. (laughing) (roaring) I don't know, when i was to have like- - How did you vomit without your clothes? (laughing) 'Cause every time I've seen you vomit you have clothes on. - Oh yeah, true. I was (indistinct) drunk. (laughing) But, when I'm like... If you're really sick, like when I had food poisoning back in like whenever, when they thought I had the rona, I was vomiting and I had to be naked. 'cause I was like, otherwise, I felt like it'd get off my clothes. And I'm like, that's gross. It's so fucked. - Little did you know that during the chess tournament, every time you went to take a shit, he just fucking rip off his suit. - That was awful when I was taking shit with the suit on. I'm like, please, please don't get it on the suit. - That's the worst timing to take a shit. Is when your in a full suit. (laughs) You're like, ah. - I'd like tuck it in, belt it up. - It's like, ah. It's gross. - 'Cause for me wearing a T-shirt in bed is just like, sometimes, especially in the winter you wake up and it's like a cold fucking morning. - Yeah. - I love that. - And like how do you escape your duvet at that point? - It's like, I don't know, being branded. You're like just fucking do it. Just do it. - No. For me it's just like gravity has increased tenfold in this bed. (Garnt laughs) I'm like experiencing 10 G's in this bed right now. It's like, I actually can't get out. - It literally takes me like an hour to get out of bed in this case. - I have like the fucking "Call of Duty" text popping up on my screen, mission, get to the shower. Like that's what it's like for me. - I have to do like one limb at a time to be like, all right, let me just get my right arm out and once that's like room temperature then I'll get my right leg out. It's like, all right, now I can go. - I used to have like a heated thing that you could put under your bed. But that just made me lazier, so I got rid of it. - (chuckles) What do you mean? - 'Cause I never wanted to leave the bed. - Like a heated bed. - Like a heated thing under the mattress so that it was always warm. But then I was like, this is also a fire hazard and yeah, I just don't... I can not get out of bed with this thing. - Yeah that's true. - I mean, okay, have we talked about a kotatsu before? - I don't remember. - I don't think we have. Explain them to the audience Garnt. - So they watch anime, you watch anime, you know what a kotatsu is. (Joey laughs) If you don't know what a kotatsu is, it's basically like a heated coffee table where it's like a little coffee table that has blankets around it and you put your legs in it and you put them under, and it's all nice and cozy, and warm. And it is amazing. - I don't know about amazing. - I think it's fucking amazing. - There's a few logistical issues that crop up with kotatsu. Well, how many legs can fit under there? - Depends on how big the table is? - Depends on how big the table is? - It's normally not that big. You can comfortably probably fit two people's legs. - No. - Are you comparing this to my kotatsu which is fucking tiny? - No, no, no, like a normal kotatsu. 'Cause I wanna stretch my legs fully out underneath that thing. You can only really fit like two before you start touch people's legs. I don't wanna touch Joey's legs, their disgusting. - Why not? (laughs) - Disgusting. - All my homies touch legs. (laughs) - I don't wanna play footsie with Joey under the table when I'm playing Uno. (laughs) - I want to. - Fucking stop. - I wanna twiddle toes while I call Uno. - What if you don't know them super... Oh you pretty do know the (indistinct). - Yeah, exactly. - If you sharing a kotatsu. - I'm not sharing a kotatsu with a fucking stranger. - Why not? - Yeah. - That's weird. - That should be in a restaurant. - That's weird. (laughs) - It's nice, but then also I find that it's like... I know you can turn it up and down, but it's either like I would rather the room be hot than my legs be hot. Does that make sense? - No, I would not rather that. - No? No? - Okay, I literally had this problem recently which is why I get reminded why I really don't fucking like winter, right? So unlike these boys, I fucking hate the cold and I hate winter. - I love the cold. - I love the cold. - And the reason I hate it is because, you're in a cold room and you wanna get comfortable, so what'd you do, you put it on the heater, but I hate the feeling of a stuffy room. - [Joey] Right. - Like this room's getting bit- - Have you considered- - You're from a stuffy country though. - Have you considered wearing another item of clothing? (Joey laughs) Perhaps a jumper or a hoodie? - No, no, no. Because there's a problem because if you wear a fucking jumper or something and the room is cold, then your fucking hands are cold. And like I'm just trying to work. - It is not that cold. - No, it can get that cold sometimes in winter. - Does the blood circulate to your fingers enough or? - My fucking feet... Before we turned on this heater, my fucking feet were ice cold, man. I am not joking. - It's really not that cold. - I get cold limbs. - Are you a fucking lizard with your body. What the fuck. (laughs) - No, my body was just not built for the cold and there's nothing more uncomfortable for me- - Built different in the opposite. - Than just a stuffy room. 'Cause sometimes I'm like, maybe I'm getting ill. And then I realize I go outside and it's because the room's so stuffy that I haven't realized how uncomfortable I'm feeling- - But that's why I very rarely turn on the heater, unless it's like a seriously cold. Because for me it's like, if I'm cold, I'll just wear another layer of clothing. And then A, the room isn't stuffy and B, I'm warm. - But also it's really easy to make a room not stuffy. You just open a window for like one minute after you've heated the up. It won't be cold after one minute. - Yeah, but then after you open the window, then it gets cold again. - And then like one minute- - And then the cycle continues- - Not in one minute. - There is never a perfect temperature that I'm like happy with when it's winter. Because if I need to like artificially warm it up, then either it's gonna be too stuffy or I'm gonna be too cold. There is no between. - But there's something so nice about being in a warm room, knowing it's freezing outside. - Yeah, I agree. - There's something that's so magical about that. - It's like going to bed in a thunderstorm, right? There's something comforting about it. - Yeah. - I don't if you guys relate to that. (laughing) - I just gave you like the thousand yard stare. You were like, "Yeah, you guys know what I'm talking about." - No, I like it, I like it. I know what you mean. - Yeah, yeah. - It's just like white noise outside (indistinct) - Yeah. There's something comforting about outside is fucked right now, but I'm safe inside dry and warm. - Some of the best sleeps I've had I've been like camping on the floor, but because it's so fucking freezing outside and you're in your little like worm cocoon, it's so nice. - Yeah, I agree, I agree. - It's, oh yeah. - Oh fuck. - I just like being comfortable existing, I guess. (laughs) I don't want to do anything to make my existence more comfortable. I just like being in a room and being like, okay, I can do whatever I want. - I think you just spoke on behalf of all humanity. (laughs) I just want a comfortable existence- - I just wanna be- - He just wants to wear a fucking turtleneck in his room and be a happy boy. (Joey laughing) - Honestly, what's wrong with that? I don't wanna put on a heater- - Okay, to be honest, the only reason why I... Okay, two reasons why I don't wear turtlenecks, A- - You look like an asshole. - I look like a dick. B, my neck- - Yo, Steve Hanjobs here though, come on. - No, no, you can make it work. I can't make it work. I look like a fucking weirdo with a turtleneck. But B, my neck for some reason, I don't know what it is, it exerts so much fucking heat that... (laughing) Like legit. That's the reason why I can't wear a scarf, either. Because when I wear a scarf, my neck gets so fucking sweaty. - Bro, I fucking love wearing scarfs. - I know, I- - Scarfs are great. - I love wearing scarves too, but only if it's like really, like I'm talking like, - 10, -20 degrees. - Literally the reason why I started wearing turtle necks, had nothing to do with like me thinking, turtleneck looks nice. I just remember the first time I put on a turtleneck, I'm like, oh, this is like permanently wearing a scarf that I'd never have to take off. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This is like perfect for me. - Exactly. - 'Cause I fucking love the feeling of wearing scarfs. - Exactly, but it doesn't matter how cold it is for me, I don't know why I get so sweaty around my neck. - Who needs renewable energy when we can just use Joey fucking neck to power the planet? - You can just all hurdle around my neck like this and just warm your hands up on my neck. I don't know what it is. My neck is always so fucking hot. Which sucks, because people have always told me, "Oh yeah, you look really good in a scarf." And I'm like, yeah, I like wearing scarfs that I like the feeling of it. But I can only wear for maybe like- - Wait, you say that you're fine but you're not really fine. - Yeah, exactly. (chuckles) It's like, I like wearing a scarf and I think I look good in a scarf, but the problem is I can't wear a scarf for more than two minutes. 'Cause then I'm like, fuck this, it's so hot. I can't. - Overheating, overloading. - [Joey] Yeah. - Kinda on topic... Okay, go on Garnt. - Yeah, going back to why I like kotatsus is that kotatsus is like, I can feel warm in a kotatsu and not feel stuffy. So it's like one of the few spaces where I'm just like, if I'm getting hot, I can just roll on the kotatsu and- - But that's the problem I have with kotatsu, is this exact same problem I have with beds in winter? Is that the moment I enter the kotatsu the G's jerk up like 10 G's and I can't leave it. - Yeah, yeah, I feel the same way. - Also how are we look sitting on the floor? Sitting on the floor isn't that comfortable for me. - [Joey] Right. - And kotatsu you normally have to sit on the floor. - [Joey] Yeah. - I need some like back support, man. - But there's those chairs. - There's the back support. (indistinct) - Yeah, those are pretty good. But, most of the time they don't really have those, do they? It's just kinda like, you just sit, and you've gotta put your hands back if you wanna lean back a little bit. - You can lean back on the couch. - Yeah, if there's a couch there, it's nice but (indistinct) people don't have that. I mean, (indistinct), right? - Right. - But, I'm being nitpicky. - You should just bring your own fucking foldable chair. It's like if you have kotatsu, I'm coming. - I'm like that guy with the camping chair, like flips it out with hand. I'm like, I'm ready for the kotatsu. - [Joey] Exactly. - I'm ready to be comfortable. - Exactly. - Yeah, honestly kotatsu... I remember the first time I tried out a kotatsu here in Japan and it was like instant life-changing moment. - What do you mean? (Joey laughs) It's just a warm table. What are you here like, (Joey laughs) how is it life-changing? - Come on, come on, come on, come on. - Fuck off! - Like you have some of those moments where you're just like, how did I go my entire life without this? Like okay, heat- - It is pretty fucking likable. - Heated toilet seats. The first time I went to Japan and tried a heated toilet seat, I'm just like, how is the rest of the first world fucking... Other first world countries haven't caught on to this. - Yeah, I won't lie, I think I have actually ruined toilets myself. 'Cause whenever I go to a toilet now that doesn't have a bidet, I legit feel like I'm bored. - I have a panic attack. (laughs) - I legit feel like, how am I supposed to wash my ass clean? Wipe it, are you kidding me? I'm not an animal. I don't touch that area. If I ever move back to the UK, no joke, I'm 100% like- - Invest in a bidet. - Even if the suitcase is empty, dude, I'm making room for the premium $1,000 bidet, because I'm using that shit daily. I wanna shit like a king. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like I remember Prosey D, I was talking to him, as well one time. He was like, dude when he came back from Japan the one thing he brought was a bidet. - Really? - 'Cause he was like, I insist. - I feel him - He has taste, man, he has taste. - He was arguing like, I insist that I shit like a king. And I'm like, honestly, (Joey laughs) I completely understand it. 'Cause once you get used to a bidet and you get the heated seat, you get a little pressure washer you can have it set to like boom, boom, boom, that go back and forth on your ass cheeks, it's nice dude. My ass feels permanently clean. Why wouldn't I wanna shower for my ass every time shit? Are you kidding me? Sometimes I don't even shit, but I do it 'cause I'm like, why not clean my ass. Why not? (Joey laughs) I got time. - I got some time. - I got time. - I wanna make my ass feel refreshed. 'Cause sometimes right, man, you have those days where like it's a hot day. you get like swamp ass, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Where you're ass just gets kinda sweaty. It's not even bad, but just a little bit, right? You're like, why not just clean it. - You're butt cheeks get a little (indistinct). - Why not clean my cheeks? - Okay, I completely missed on this. So you're not talking about it's heated seat. - The heated seat is also amazing. - But you're talking bidet? - Yeah, the bidet and... But the heated seat is part of the bidet package, right? Even the cheapest ones have that. - Okay, I don't use the ass washing function of the bidet at all. - Why not? - It just doesn't feel clean. I don't know. - It's clean. - I don't know. - It's the cleanest thing in the toilet. - It does not and like I- - You are kidding me. This is like going to space and being like, yeah, I never look out the window. Why would I ? (Joey laughs) Why would I look at the window? - So you bidet your ass, right? You got the water shooting up your ass and then you stop it, and then you just got wet ass cheeks. - So you get some of the toilet paper and you just dry it a little bit. - Yeah, you dry it off. - Yeah, because like you need the toilet paper, but it doesn't feel clean without that wipe. - That's why you have to wipe. - Some of them have dryers and those are pretty good. - No, no, no. - Have you tried? Have you tried Garnt? - I have you tried. - Fuck off, you haven't tried. - I have tried. - No, no, no. Okay, because there is a difference between wiping to dry... Why are we talking about this (indistinct)? There's a different in wiping to dry your ass and wiping to get the shit out. - [Joey] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They're very different types of wipes, right? - One is like a deep wipe and the other is like a shower wipe. - One is just- - One is an excavation, the other is a pat down. - Look, toilet papers were not designed to wipe wet asses. - No, because your ass isn't the fucking Amazon River, dude. It's a little moist. You just wipe that shit dry. - What I hate is When you have a wet ass after a bidet, you go to wipe it and the toilet paper just fucking disintegrates on your hand. - Bro are you using one ply? - How much water are you fucking using? - Okay, how much water can your asshole in vertical position contain? (laughs) (claps) - It doesn't matter. - And second of all- - Its fucking toilet paper. - What ply are you using Garnt? What ply are you using? One ply, fucking sandpaper? What are you using to absorb this? - You gotta use the double though, at least - Bro, double minimum. Come on. - Toilet paper- - What ply are you using Garnt? Answer real quick. - What's a ply? - (chuckles) It's how many sheets of paper is used in it. - Bro, okay. - Are you using one square and be like shit I'm allowed. - It doesn't fucking matter, man. Anyone who lives in Asia- - No, no, it does matter. - Anyone who lives in Asia knows that toilet paper here is weak as fuck. It is flacid. - That sounds broke. That sounds broke as fuck. You sound broke right now Garnt. I can't believe how much of a peasant joke this is. - 'Cause I thought it was just a Thai thing where toilet paper was just like fucking flacid, no. I moved to Japan and toilet paper here is like fucking weak as fuck. - No, you can't buy the good shit. - Yeah, you get the double ply shit and then you do maybe like one wrap around your hand. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's more than enough to absorb any amount of liquid that's down three. - Yeah, you would pile on three little sheets. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's a nice thickness to it, right? They're two-ply (indistinct). - At least that thick, and then just get under there it won't rip. - Good. - And your ass is clean and it's dry. - I cannot believe you would come here... 'Cause honestly, bidet is in the top three things about Japan, if I'm gonna be honest with you. - Heated toilet seats. Bidet's okay. - The whole shitting experience is top three. - The whole toilet experience. - It's like a top three Japanese thing for me, man. Like it's just great. - Okay, another thing- - I look forward to shitting. - Another thing about bidets as well, it shoots up right up your asshole, right? - That's exactly what I want. - And then you just feel like you're fucking shitting out water and so like- - How gaped is your asshole? - Do you like goatse? - Yeah, he's like this. (laughs) He's like. (grunts) Like just sit down on it, man. (claps) - That's just fucking water stuck in your asshole, man. - A bidet- - No. (laughs) - Are you like giving yourself a prostate massage on a bidet. - No. - It's just not- - Do you got water stuck in your anus? - No. - How do you do that? What is your asshole like? - Unless I'm fucking like. (laughing) - Are you putting your asshole over the bidet thing. Are you putting it in? - With the hose. - Yeah, are you putting the hose in? What are you doing? - No, the stream of water is fucking strong enough- - Put that down, put it down. (laughing) You probably set it to like fucking pressure hose. - Well, that's how- - He's got it to like public fountain display. - No, no, no. - Because if its not strong, then it's just a fucking trickle on your ass, and that's no cleaning up shit. - That is called medium. - You need the fucking pressure to fucking clean that shit off your ass. But if it has enough pressure to clean the shit off your ass, then you're getting water stuck in your asshole. There's no in between. - No, you're not. No you're not. - My bidet is on the fucking max pressure and it's perfect, because you can feel the shit coming off and, I mean, I don't know about you, but my asshole is normal. - Fucking ironclad asshole right here man. - Yeah, just clench it a bit and you're all right. - I clench up a little bit. - 'Cause if you clench then your not fucking cleaning it properly. - Yes you are. - When you're shitting, what do you mean? (laughing) Wait, you're not cleaning it properly when you clench? Of course you are. - Yeah. - What do you mean like clench? Wait you clench when you fucking bidet that shit? - A little bit. - Pucker up your asshole. - Yeah, pucker up a little bit. (laughing) (claps) - Garnt is like relax my anus. Allow the water to flow in. What are you doing? - You're giving yourself a fucking bidet anima. (laughing) - That's what it feels like. It obviously feels like I'm taking a fucking bidet anima every time. - You're doing this totally wrong Garnt. (laughs) - Oh my God. - Wait, because like I don't clench when I shit. - What do you mean? You're just like, I let gravity do its work. (laughs) - What is this, a fun slip and slide you're asshole? How is the shit coming out? - How lubed up is your asshole? - What do you mean by clench? You just mean push? - Yeah. - Yeah, punch. It's the same thing, normally. - No, okay, that doesn't how with the bidet is. Still goes up the fucking asshole even if you push that shit out, man. - We need an anatomy of your asshole in display. Can we get an X-ray of your asshole so we can see what's going on. - Can we get like a bidet cam just to see how fucking loose your asshole is when it gets bidet. (laughs) - I just don't like the feeling of water on my ass and I don't know, it just- - So wait, what about in the shower? - Yeah, what do you cleaning your ass with? - No. Okay, so you know when- - Do you clean your ass Garnt? - Yeah, I clean my fucking ass. - How do you clean your ass? - You talked about the sweaty feeling in your asshole. - Swamp ass. - Yeah, swamp ass. If I get swamp ass, I just take a fucking shower, man. I don't even bidet that shit. - A whole shower, - Yeah I fuck-. - That's so unnecessary. - I can take three showers a day if I need to. - Garnt takes one shit and goes home, he's like fuck gotta shower now, man. - Honestly, sometimes if I wanna feel clean after a shit I just take a fucking shower, man. Quick five minute. - What are you doing in this toilet? Garnt is that one dude when you leave some public restrooms it's like a fucking war zone. - Yeah. - That must be Garnt. - No, no, no. - The shit everywhere, shit on the wall. (Joey laughs) It's like, that is Garnt. It's Garnt going in the rest room- - It's like shit in places you didn't think shit would end up. - It's the fucking opposite, man. My shit- - Why would I use a bidet when it can't reach the wall. (laughs) - My shits are like the cleanest shits. - Fuck off! - Fuck off! - They are. - There's no such thing as a clean shit. - Okay, have you never had the perfect shit. - The no wipes, yeah. - Yeah, the perfect shit, which is just like you just shit out a log and it's like one solid clean log. And then you look at it and it's like, no wipe, you look at it and you're just like, man, that's a fucking piece of art right there. - In my family, we call that the swish, because it doesn't touch the sides. (laughing) - I hope no one's eating during this episode. (laughing) - Yo, I just did a swisher over there, man. - You don't need a fucking bidet after you did that fucking swish, man. - I mean, I still like it though. I still do it anyway because it feels good. - To me, that is like the equivalent of coming to Japan and just being like, yeah man, I just ate only KFC and Burger King. It's like, you've wasted the true potential of Japan. Like what have you done? It is on pearl honestly with food talking about Japan. Like food is amazing and the shitting experience is also God like. (Joey laughs) I actually look forward to taking a shit. - Yeah. - I can't wait to crack open the bidet and just feel amazing. (laughing) - Crack open the bidet. - Crack open the. - Crack open the bidet with the boys. - Crack open the bidet and just have a great fucking time. - Yeah. - (laughs) You shit for pleasure. - Honestly, I do. - Yeah. - Honestly, I used to shit 'cause it was a bodily function. now I look forward to my shits 'cause it's Japan. And they've figured out how to make shitting an enjoyable experiences. - I look forward to shitting for other reasons. Like if the bidet is just like not one if it. - What's the other reason? Do you have a warm ass? - Yeah, one, I have a warm ass and there's like two fucking sacred places for me, and one is the shower and the other one is when I'm taking a shit. Probably like my channel wouldn't exist if I couldn't shit or shower. 'Cause where the fuck am I gonna get my ideas from? - You're having fucking existential crisis on the toilet. - Fuck, yes I am. Who doesn't, do you not? - No, because taking a shit for me is enjoyable. - Yeah, I have a great time. - That's the reason... People think that I take such a long time to shit, because I'm having like a mental breakdown time. No, I'm just having a fucking great time. I'm just like, why would I leave early when I'm having this much fun right here. (laughs) It's so fun. - I fucking love shitting. Bidets are just- I don't know, in Thailand we have like an even worse thing which is like... It's like a self bidet, right? So in like most Southeast Asian countries, we don't have like the auto on your ass bidets. We have like a little, like a shower head. Like a mini shower head that you have to put between your legs. - Oh, some European countries have that too, right? - Yeah. - With the little bowl? The thing that... Like the little bowl next to it or you do it in the toilet itself? - In the toilet. - Its like the little bowl thing but without the bowl. - Oh, okay. - And at that point, I don't know, I've always hated that feeling 'cause then you just get wet balls. - That's too much, (Joey laughs) because the bidet is precise with where it's aim is, right? And when you've used your own, bidet long enough, you know where to aim. - The bidet's like sniping, you're asshole. - Yeah you know where to aim your cheek and you know the radius of which it'll spread. So you've got it down or not, right? - Oh my God. (laughing) - We talked about fucking- - How long have we been talking about it? - Showering our assholes. - I've always wanted to talk about it on the podcast 'cause it's one of the, no joke, the most enjoyable parts of Japan. - I know what to call this episode, now. The Japanese toilet experience. (laughing) The shitting Japanese experience. - I know where golden requiem experience comes from now, and it's when you're on the fucking toilet. (laughs) - Were you a bit like worried when you first saw how to operate the bidet when you first came to Japan? - Yeah, I think a lot of British people are, 'cause it's like, the thought of spraying your ass is so foreign to us. - Yeah (indistinct) - What was that thing that you and Allen did again, the first time you went to the fucking hotel bidet? - We were curious at how the bidet knew when you were sitting on it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The bathroom was like a wet room. So we were like, okay, well it doesn't matter if this bidet sprays everywhere? So we had like a few drinks. We were like, let's figure out how the bidet works. So we figured out the bidet won't spray, unless there's pressure on the seat which is pretty fucking cool. Yeah, and then it was like spraying on the wall. 'Cause no one was sitting on it. (Joey laughs) - You were just like pushing it. - Bro, this thing was going far. It was spraying on the wall, it was crazy. - That's the pressure that goes up your asshole, man. - And that's what I want going on my ass. - That's the pressure that goes up your fucking asshole. - I had a traumatic story of 'cause... In our house in Australia, we always had a bidet 'cause my mom was like, "I can't live without a bidet." - Because she's Japanese and she shits like a King. Why would she go back to shitting like a peasant. - She's like, let me teach you. Let me teach you Australians how to shit like a King. So we had it in our house. But of course when I was little, I didn't use the bidet because I didn't know what the fuck it was. I was just like, oh, buttons, but I didn't fucking press any of them. (laughs) - Yeah, I remember first time seeing a bidet and I'm just like, yo, do I need a license to operate this shit? (laughing) - A bidet license? (laughing) So it was like, I feel like if I pressed the wrong button this toilet's gonna take off. - Here is like the fucking operating system of the bidet that you can see on screen right now. Especially like going to Japan the first time, and it's somewhat in the different language as well. - When I was little, like I never knew how to use the bidet, 'cause I was just learned to just make sure to wipe and wash your hands and then you'll be good. But, when you get to around age six or seven, you start to get a little bit curious what these buttons are. You're just like, I wonder what this is. So, I did the fatal mistake though. So I pushed the bidet, like start bidet button. But I made the fatal mistake of getting up off my seat and looking down at the toilet bowl. - Oh, no, it spray you in the face? - So it fucking sprayed me in the eye (laughing) - Oh God. - And there's just water going everywhere, and I'm like, I don't know how to stop this, what the fuck's happening. I actually thought I broke my toilet. So, I called my mom and I was just like, mom, come here. So, she came in, fucking bidet water going everywhere in this toilet. (laughing) So it's just like, what the fuck? (laughing) And then the last thing she said, like she finally stopped it and she's like, "You could have at least flushed your shit, man. "I didn't have to see that." (Garnt laughs) - But also, the bidet water is also warm. - Yeah. - So it's literally like a warm shower. - It is like a warm shower. - Only, W's, only W's. (Joey laughs) - And you know thing is right is that, if you're an American or your just a Westerner in general and you come and you see this toilet, yeah, it can be daunting, right? 'Cause, normally things don't go near your ass. You're not used to that. - No, no. - Just embrace it. It feels good. It's scary. - It's scary. (laughs) - But once you admit the thing feels good when they spray your ass... (laughs) That could be so out of context. - It's like discovering a new fetish. - It's like, you now what- - Just give it a go. - Does it feel a little erotic after... (laughs) It feels fucking- - It does. But it feels good. The wet ass afterwards just doesn't feel good. - Dry it, just dry, man. - Just dry it man. - It's not that hard. - Then it doesn't feel clean. I don't know, my asshole doesn't feel properly clean unless I soap that shit. - There is no proper clean. Like I don't feel properly clean after a wipe. I feel like 90% clean after a wipe. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause you know there's always gonna be a little bit left. - [Joey] Right, right. - You know that bidet is scraping that shit off. Just pressure washing it. - It's like washing your hands without soap. You might feel clean, but you don't really until you use that soap. - I know, I need to physically feel my asshole being clean and not like getting it washed. I don't know. I need to feel that shit, man. I need to confirm with my own hands. (laughs) - Well then, that's what you should do. You should use the bidet and then wipe it with your hand and see if it's still there. - No, because it doesn't feel properly clean to me unless I fucking shower. Like my asshole never feels clean unless I shower and I have probably soap in it. - This man is like wasting fucking buckets of water to clean his ass, when he can just be using a bidet. (laughing) - You can never take too many showers. I love the feeling of taking a shower. - I'm pretty sure you can take too many showers. - Yeah, (laughs) - I don't know. - Your skin has natural oil that if you shower too much you get rid of it (indistinct). - I don't know, for me, I love the feeling. especially in summer when it's hot. Just taking like a nice- - Yeah, that's different. - A nice cold shower. - That's a little different though. That's a bit different. - But even now in the winter I take like three showers. Like I get a bit cold- - Three showers? - You take three showers? - Yeah, sometimes. - Why? - Not like- - No wonder you don't fucking upload videos, you're always in the fucking shower. - Not like properly long showers, just like sometimes I get a bit cold- (indistinct) Like I said, my mind- Like either I'm too stuffy or I'm too cold. So sometimes I can't be bothered to wait for the fucking heater to go on. Just pop in the shower, get a bit of warm water on me. All right, I'm back up to warm. - This man spends more time in the shower thinking of ideas. Than actually committing to the ideas. (laughs) - This man is not the clown, he is the whole circus. You know what's also fucked up as well about you Garnt? - What? (chuckles) - Hate to bully you this episode but, you don't use your bath at all, do you? - You and Sydney don't take baths. - I don't either though. - Sydney... No, I mean, okay. I don't like taking a bath in like... it feels like I'm in like a prison cell bath, you know what I mean? I feel like I'm taking... Okay, so Japanese baths are fucking tiny. - They're not that... Yours isn't that bad. You can, sit in there. - If I can't stretch legs out in the bath, then it's not even a bath to me. - I don't need to stretch them out fully? - It's a glorified sink in that point. - No. (laughs) (indistinct) Yeah, yeah, yeah. The point is you have to take a bath like this. You do the fucking- - It's not that bad. - The L thing. - You do the fucking L position. I'm like. - No. - Okay. (chuckles) - So like- - It's not that bad. - I take like, I would say 90% baths, 10% showers. - Really? - No, no. - Honestly, honestly. Because in Japan, the best thing is is that you can like reserve your bath. - [Joey] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - As it says. - Yeah. - Which is like, if you know what time you're waking up, you can set the bath to be full and hot by that time. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Which, why the fuck do we not have this in any- - It's the biggest brain move. - Would they have like NASA in the US but they haven't figured out how to fucking schedule a bath? I know what time I'm gonna wake up. I know what time I need to be in that bathtub. - Yeah. - Why can I not do this basic fucking function? - Right, right right. - Right? And then also you have one button, 'cause in the UK, what you had to do is just turn the tap on and keep checking on it every five minutes. - Yeah. - Pain in the ass. In Japan there's one button that fills up to the perfect amount of the amount that you set at the exact temperature that you set. - [Joey] Yeah. - This is the future man. (Joey laughs) Why wouldn't I take a bath every day? - I just feel like for me baths are not ergonomically designed for me. 'Cause I feel like I'm too tall to properly appreciate a good bath, right? - You're not that much taller than Connor. - You're not that much tall than me. - Okay, 'cause I love onsens, right? The reasons I love onsens is I'm submerged in water and I'm in a comfortable position. I can never get in a comfortable position in any of any of the baths I've ever owned in my life. 'Cause here's the issue, right? So I wanna stretch my legs out, but then my body is above the water. So you gotta submerge yourself and then you unsubmerge, and then your body just gets cold, right? - Peak bath position is like the water's up to like here. - [Joey] Yeah. - Your arms out of the tub, maybe watching something there. That's the best. - Yeah. - Maybe got a beer as well if you wanted. - 'Cause then your upper body is cold. I like- - No way, it's the perfect temperature control because your head is free, you've got this bit getting cold, and then you got the rest of your body boiling. - Also because the bath water is so hot, the steam from the hot water makes the room warm, as well. - I feel like you just haven't given baths the true shot they deserve Garnt. - Well, I- (Joey laughs) - Again, you're wasting another potential of Japan, which is how fucking good the bath are. - No, the bath's are way too small here. - No, no. - I don't wanna be sitting. - They're deep. - If my legs are curled, then that's not a bath to me. - Well, you know we're doing- - You're not fucking daddy long legs in this (indistinct). You're not that much taller. - Next time I'm going to your house- - Baths are meant to be relaxing and I need to be in a comfortable position to be relaxed. - I don't fucking believe you. - That's why I love onsens and I just don't take baths. Showers to me are just more relaxing. - I don't believe you. Next time I'm going to your house, I'm forcing you to get in the bath with your clothes on. (Joey laughs) You just sit there, I wanna judge this position, that's bullshit. I don't believe you. - We have one. - Yeah, we have one in the studio, go in this one. - Okay, after this episode we'll- - That ones tiny as well. That one's too- - Okay, that one is actually smaller than normal, but we'll get Garnt in there and we'll vote what's going on. We'll post the screenshot. - The other thing of like I have... - The only times I've had baths is in my home in England, and I don't know, the way, okay... When you're in a bath, do you put your legs towards the top or do you put like your back towards the tap? - Legs toward the tap always - Legs toward the tap, of course. - What animal puts their back towards the tap? - Because the tap is always like, I don't know. I always have like... I don't know if it's just me but sometimes I accidentally hit the tap, and it's either too hot or too cold. And it just like ruins the entire vibe for me. - You want the legs there 'cause you don't wanna burn your back. - [Joey] Yeah. - (chuckles) I've actually done that before, and I think that's just completely- - You're a clown. You're a clown. - Fucking mighty brain move right here. - Also, I saw your bath at your parents' house. It wasn't that nice. Come on Garnt, come on. You can do better than that. - I mean. (Joey laughs) - Come on, come on, come on. - Even if I'm in a fucking nice hotel I'm like, I don't take a bath in this. - Bro, there is nothing better than a hotel that has a big ass bath. - Yeah I agree. - That shit's amazing. - That's the only time where I'm exclusively like, fuck showers, I'm going in that bath. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always, always, always. - Also, I like the feeling of just having water spraying on you. I don't know, it's just like a nice zen feeling. - Well, then go out into the rain. (laughs) - Honestly rain in Southeast Asia is fucking great, okay? 'Cause when we think of rain we think of like cold fucking depressing British rain, just fucking... It's like God blew up a fucking raspberry on you and I hate that feeling, right? (Joey laughs) But in Thailand, when it rains it fucking pours. - Right, right. - And it's probably like... And it's warm as well. It's like taking a warm shower - Doesn't it feel like you're just getting pissed on? - Yeah, also it's so fucking humid 'cause it was doing that in Japan. In the summer, it was raining. And it was deceiving 'cause I'm like, finally I'll be cold. - Yeah. - But no, it was just more fucking heat directly applied to my skin. - That's what I hated about when I went to the Philippines for the first time and it was like May. So it wasn't even like properly hot yet. - Yeah. - But because this is Southeast Asia, it's still fucking hot in may. And the moment I got outside, my hair just fucking turned into an afro because of the amount of humidity. And then there was a pool where we were staying. So I was like, oh, thank God. I can finally jump in the pool and I'll call myself off. No, because it was so humid outside, it was like walking into a fucking puddle of piss. It was horrible. I was like, I like heated pools and I like regular pools, but the temperature of this pool is like halfway in between of that. And it was just like lukewarm kinda what I was just like. - That makes makes you feel like someone shit in it. - Yeah, right. (laughs) It doesn't make the water feel clean. - It's like perfect bacteria temperature. - Yes. (laughs) - Makes you feel real gross. - Exactly, yeah. - Bro that's why cold showers are like fucking amazing. - No, they're good. - They're amazing. - That's why when I used to swim in public pools, the best ones are like the ones that are initially cold but you get warm as you swim. - Exactly, yeah. - Because that's like nice. 'Cause then it also forces you to keep swimming. - [Joey] Yeah. - And you don't get to comfortable. - That's the ones where you're just like you feel the water and you're like, oh, that's cold, but I'm just gonna commit and just fully jump in and submerge my body all at once. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then you're fine after that. - Yeah, yeah, (indistinct). - Yeah. - Fuck, I can't believe you're jus an animal Garnt. (laughing) You can take the peasant out of Thailand but you can't take the peasant... Sorry, Sorry. The Thailand out of a peasant. (laughing) Fuck! I messed that up. - Nailed that. - I have the superior taste. (scoffs) I'm just- - Mr. don't eat crust. - I just want to exist happily, you know what I mean? That's all I wanna do. - I want you to exist correctly, Garnt. I want you to use the bidet when you can, and I want you to take a bath every night. Treat yourself Garnt. - Yeah, treat yourself. - You deserve it, come on man. - You're better than that. - I don't want a wet fucking ass. - You don't have to be, wipe. That's what the toilet paper was invented for. - Then I don't want wet fingers after a wipe. That's just- - How fucking weird is your ass. - Are you clawing your ass out with your bare hands? What are you doing? (laughs) - Have you- - Meilyne, your hands don't get wet when you use a bidet, do they? - That's disgusting. - Yeah, right. - Right? See. - It is disgusting, that's why I hate it. - [Meilyne] You're not using toilet paper, are you? - No, I am using toilet paper. - (laughs) Seriously, he's just using his hand. - He's using the- - He's like, ah, fuck! - He's using the heat of friction to warm his back up to evaporate the water off his cheeks. What are you doing Garnt? - He's ass cheeks are just like. - Okay, you know what? I wanna watch you shit after this. I wanna see what you're doing. I need to judge your technique. You're doing it all wrong. - Let's fucking do it, I'm ready. Shit review, let's go. - Can we get a GoPro inside of the toilet bowl and see what's going. - Yeah, I want a bidet cam just to see. (laughs) - I need to see what's going on. I need to see what you're doing in this fucking bowl, Garnt. (laughs) - Next special. (laughs) - The bidet special. - The bidet special Will Garnt be able to learn how to use a bidet correctly? - Needless to say, I am 100% bringing back a bidet if I have a house- - I am bring back a kotatsu. I'm bringing back a heated toilet seat and a kotatsu. - Well, you don't need the table. You can just get the heated element and screw it on. It's just a box that makes heat. That's basically it. - A box... (chuckles) No, 'cause you need the heated element, you need the table, and you need the cover on top of the table to place the blanket. - Well, you can just get another. - Because the good thing about a kotatsu is that in the summer you can still use it because all you have to do is just take the sheet off and then it turns back into a regular table. - Oh, okay. True, true. - So it's like a specially made table, yeah. - Yeah. - Kotatsu is a bomb. - Kotatsus are like the best thing in Japan. - No (scoffs) best. - One of the best things. - Bidet. - Heated toilet seats are- - Bidet, all my homies love bidets. - Heated toilet seats are a close second. - I'm on team bidet in this instance, I think. I love my kotatsu but, man, there's nothing more disgusting than a gross asshole. (laughs) I'm just saying right there. - How dirty is your... I don't even wanna imagine. - Maybe you guys are just shitting wrong. - No, we're not sitting wrong Garnt. You are- - What's the wrong way of shitting? Like shitting on the wall? - How is it wrong if I have a great time, I end up perfectly clean, I'm very happy, and my ass isn't wet? I'm doing it the right way, as far as I'm concerned. - Yeah, you're sitting wrong if you end up with a fucking swampy asshole. - Garnt's like, instructions unclear, I dropped as a child. (Joey laughs) What are you doing on this toilet, man? Sort your fucking life out, bro. - I'm thinking of fucking bomb-ass videos on the toilet and in the shower as well. - Clearly you're not thinking about personal hygiene or staying dry. (Joey laughs) - I am very happy with my personal hygiene. - Men I have a poppy asshole but I got a great video idea. (laughing) - That's exactly it, man. That's exactly it. (claps) - Garnt's like literally stinky poo poo. - Oh, oh stinky. But Hey look at all these lovely Patreons who are helping to support the show. These Patreons of team bidet. - A question to you Patreons this time, right? See what I did there, little reference, 'cause Garnt loves to say that. That's the joke. - Question to you. - We boys we'd love to do a tour or something in the US. - Oh yeah, we gotta talk about that, don't we? - We have- - Would you guys be interested in us maybe doing "Trash Taste" live across the US? Would that be something that maybe- - It's just a very brief idea, of course. We can't do it now because of the state of the world but- - But maybe in like a year or something, maybe doing it like that. - Whenever the US gets its shit back together, I think. We'll definitely be open to that idea but, are you guys open to that idea is more of the question. So, I guess let us know. - Yeah, we wanna gauge interest if that's something you guys wanna do. - So definitely let us know. And if you'd like to support the show, then of course go over to patreon.com/trashtaste. Also follow us on Twitter. Check out our subreddit, give us some memes, and listen to us on Spotify if you don't wanna see our faces. But yeah. - But why wouldn't you? - Why wouldn't you. - I want you to see in H, no, 4K, sorry, me shouting at Garnt, about him being a little uncultured - About having a poopy butt hole. (laughs) - About being a little stinky poopy poo poo. - About our shitting technique. (Joey laughs) which I can't believe that we've... I think half the podcast. - You are literally fucking gone Prenen when you shit, and I'm like Netero with all my eight hands, slapping my ass clean dude. You're so inferior, you can't even fathom the level that I am on, man. (Joey laughs) That's all I'm gonna say. Thank you for watching this episode of "Trash Taste." - Yeah, hopefully you guys enjoyed it. I Promise our conversations will be a lot nicer. - I hope you didn't eat this with dinner, I really hope. - Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If you're eating this with food, I'm sorry. - We should probably have a warning at the beginning now that- - No, no, no. - You know what you're getting into. - You know what you're getting into, it's Trash Taste. We talk about anything. - All right, see you guys next week. - Goodbye gamers. - See you later. - Bye. - [Garnt] Bye. (soft music)

Channel: Trash Taste

Views: 1,556,984

Keywords: TrashTaste, Trash, Trash Taste, Taste, Trash Taste Podcast, Anime, Manga, CDawgVA, Gigguk, TheAnimeMan, Joey, Connor, Garnt, Podcast

Id: hdbTw4Oz45c

Length: 129min 47sec (7787 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 15 2021