Waiters, what's your best COMEBACKS to a RUDE customer?

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit waiter servers of Reddit what is the best clap back you've delivered to a rude customer way back in the day when I worked in food service we had a customer who got a salad and when she was finished placed one of her hairs in the bowl in order to get it refunded and got the complimentary I'm sorry free bakery item she did this every day finally the DM sat down at her table and told her this was her last day eating in the cafe they would refuse her a refund today and refuse her service in the future she started to say something about the customer always being right and he just put up a hand to cut her off and said you caused us to lose money every day you're absolutely not our customer you are a liability and you are no longer welcome here edit because many people have asked it took embarrassingly long to get there I worked in training support and the issue came to light during an associate level customer service class they had been going with it for at least a few weeks I'm not sure if the managers all knew what was going on but I called their GM and DM after class and it was taken care off between the two of them by the end of that week you are a liability yes love it from every sense she's a liability if an inspector happens to be in there they get a strike or worse if other customers come in right as she does it it could cost them additional revenue there are other situations where this is a major issue more than just giving her a free meal in fact from the business point of view assuming they get lots of business her one free meal a day is insignificant compared to everything else that it could potentially cost them live in a small town worked in a fish and chip shop one of two in the town we were a tourism town and one of the main attractions with the award-winning fish and chips top five in the county while I was there the people in the town believed we were in massive competition with the other shop we weren't we had 25 plus staff they had around 7/8 and we were serving thousands more customers than them per week or even per day in summer on the rare occasion whenever a customer got angry they would simply exclaim well I am going to insert a posed competitors name here instead and I won't be back like it was a big deal and would really hurt our feelings business we would simply tell them that we don't want them back and they should enjoy the food from the other shop we own both shops okay that last line made it pretty awesome I heard that [ __ ] so much but when I was in call centers and not restaurants well maybe I'll just buy this item you don't have from Macy's certainly would you like me to call them for you and transfer you over if they have the thing and we don't have the thing then by then thing from them you evacuated but not me but my manager woman comes in every Sunday and complains every Sunday this past time he said I won't be coming back and he goes alright I'll see you next week so did she ever come back yes the very next week and of course complained about our wait time even though she knows damn well Sunday's are our busiest days the church crowd is easily one of the most entitled group of people generally speaking and she is a part of it every Sunday I was a witness to her silent owning that I get good thinking off buddy of mine serving a table and the kid is around 810 gives her an adult glass for her apple juice dad pipes up and says he doesn't want her having all that sugar so he needed to take it away and come back with a kid sized one my friend replied that the glasses are the same size the adult size just looks bigger because they have thick bottoms the dad responds that the adult glass is clearly bigger and like I said I don't want her to have all that sugar my buddy is an a-hole he gives a super deliberate exaggerated nod says nothing and marches to our little service alley behind the bar and ray emerges with a kids cup set sit down beside the glass picks up the glass and pause the adult glass lifting it progressively higher until the last drops he drops from like a foot over the glass and adds the duct off to the kitchen without even looking at the I didn't even exist I died edit now that I think about it he's a redditor he blew up maybe seven ten years ago forgiving his dog with terminal cancer a bacon-wrapped last meal don't know his you slash to give him proper cred that's such a great way to tell the guide to duck off this made me grin I bet that felt amazing for your friend obligatory not me but rude lady to gay cashier sorry I don't speak gay cashier don't worry I'm fluent in beach this one's the only one that made me go oh [ __ ] that's exactly what I said honestly don't think I'll ever forget that clap back when they say that they know places that are cheaper I replied I have customers that pay more I usually just rolled my eyes and went to it okay but a couple times I got super fed up and said that's okay you don't have to eat here but just flag me down if you wanted this one someone needs to say this to my dad every once in a while not at a restaurant but at Baia they're having Education Week lady snapping fingers - student employee tell me where the Marriott center is student employee snapping back try again sounds like Education Week was a success that wasn't a clap back that was a snap back why don't you get a real job now if I did that what would you have to Beach and be mad about this shows how little that person knows of the work you do it's insulting yup not to mention they would require more money to upgrade their dining lifestyle which may mean they need a new job bunch of drunks making a mess wasting our time and harassing other tables me the manager has decided all off you need to leave we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and your behavior warrants it loudest drunk duckies we're never gonna come back to this [ __ ] me that's exactly the point please leave yep this is unfortunately common at the brewery I work at once we had a whole high school reunion 100 ish people upon announced and proceeded to be incredibly rude get too drunk refused to pay one guy who got cut off said that he was the head of the Alumni committee sure but and say that if he doesn't get served he will never invite people to the brewery ever again we have never been more happy to not serve a customer served in Muskoka Ontario years ago lots of celebrities in the area for the summer served Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn burgers Martin Short dan Aykroyd etc had a local nobody who thought he was a big [ __ ] celebrity would never tip and would always crumple up both copies off the visa bill into a tiny little ball even chew on it till it was the size of a spit ball so this asshat comes in with a bunch of friends and treats them all to supper $600 bill crumples up the visa bills that gained into the tiny little bull and flicks it at me with a grin on his face I swiftly kick it off the patio and into the lake our patio is on he sees this and says in front of the table guess you won't know what your tip is now I tell the table flat-out he never tips anyways so no loss dart and walk away but they leave I call the police on a dine and dash because there is no evidence this guy paid it's in the lake now and I deleted the preauth from the debit machine cops go to this guy's house and make him return to the restaurants to pay he wasn't an a-hole ever again best one I've read yet holy [ __ ] grew up in Muskoka myself never thought I would see someone on the internet from there lol this is 95% of the tourists every damn summer glad I got out when I had the chance rude customer I don't like insert literally anything here his own rim I know him me overly excited OMG same I know him too he's not here but I'm the manager on today so I'll help you out haha I hate name droppers half the time said boss has no bloody idea who they are especially hilarious when it's a family-owned business I'm the owner's brother sorry I don't remember you at any of the family this woman complained about her Kaka tail saying she couldn't taste the alcohol could we make it stronger it was already a double but we added a splash she still couldn't taste it could we add more she was obviously drunk when she arrived and angling to get more drunk as cheap as possible which is why I took her Kaka tail apologized that it wasn't to her liking and said I'd take it off her bill effectively cutting her off for the night a bartender I used to work with hater when customers did this so he used to pour a little liquor down in the straw giving the illusion more liquor was poured into the drink can confirm this works used to do it to every blended drink or else the middle-aged divorced Karen's would complain they couldn't taste in alcohol you wanted a blended drink you worn-out [ __ ] work for a moving company customers always get mad when we don't have the equipment available for them when they show up last-minute with no reservation well I'll just go to a competitor's name would always reply with exact directions great they are a block north on the right side you can't miss em never fail to get a disgusted scoff but we would always see them again in an hour or so to set up a reservation when competitors didn't have any equipment either they came back I don't think I could go back if I was an a-hole like that that's because you have self-awareness edit holy duck I missed cake day oh well I'm never coming back here again great we don't want you back here you mean it you really mean it or perhaps please got in trouble for a version of this years ago my version was well that's a relief my brother was a waiter and was working with a really difficult woman she ordered the salmon and asked when it got to her table if it was farm-raised she got mad at him because he didn't mention that the salmon was farmed raised when she was ordering even though it clearly states that it is farm raised on the menu she ordered the chicken to replace the salmon and my brother said I have to warn you it's farm raised now picturing a troupe of game hunters returning from a safari bear in ten dead chickens on shoulder poles join our community discord link in description table of 10 Sunday brunch fancy restaurant I'm hung over a crowd swarms in an opening and my whole section is sat at once I'm efficient and cool I'm used to this I get to the big table and preface that water is being brought as we speak then begin taking everyone's drink order as I'm taking orders around the table one woman blurts out that she wants water and not to forget the water interrupting her friends and family as they make their requests I acknowledge her each time on Tim after the fourth time saying if you ask for water again I'll make sure everyone here gets water but you she sinks back in her chair looking dumbfounded and I go put in the order then head to the bar if I owned a service-oriented business I'd make sure that my employees could respond exactly as the customers talk to them first this is great come to the northeast it is pretty standard practice I slipped a napkin with a lipstick kiss and the text it was great you were great let's do it again in the pocket of a man's jacket the same man who openly mocked my colleague she has down syndrom in front of his whole Christian family that's pretty harsh but was well-earned good job Savage I'm quite feminine for a guy I don't mind what people say or think about me so I get confused for gay sometimes that it's important for later as I was working as cashier a guy just went to me and started to say and I'm quoting him I don't understand how many gay people works in this restaurant I don't even know if I want to eat here anymore lots of my co-workers again the way he said was not exactly kindly so when his meal was ready nobody wanted to give it to him so I just did what any sane person would do in my position I took his meal and you bet I ducking became a ducking Disney Princess for like five minutes straight like a model calling him sweet names being extremely touching and giving him the best attention I could it was so fun what was his reaction you can't leave out doubt also I would have avoided the touching just so that he can't claim sexual harassment or something to be honest he looked really pissed and angry every time I went to check on him but since I was just being really nice to him he couldn't save her if I remember correctly he told me something like you all guys need to read the Bible when I said bye to him and never saw him again that sentence became an inside joke for me and the boys for a while so it was worth it as for the touching in Spain is not that weird to be touchy while interacting plus I just put my arm on his shoulder / arm I'd watch out if I were you I know your manager I know him too so what I used to regularly have people complained to my boss he would just say good to hear he's doing his job I had one of these except he was saying owner I was beyond confused I was at a Burger King at the time we didn't have store owners asked him if he meant the restaurant manger he proceeds to yell that he knows the owner and he would get me fired for his weight I'm lol I asked for the name of whoever he knew and he yelled of me from not knowing the names of my bosses so I eventually gave up and just closed the window on him hahaha it was all BS he didn't know anyone just wanted to yell if an 18 yo girl lol Italian customer artistic house in the US my pastor wasn't quite al dente' me you just got off a plane from Italy ordered pasta at a steak house in the US and you're surprised it was less perfect that you are accustomed to Italian and Mexican food is the best the end a co-worker had an argument about Italian food I stated I wasn't a big fan of Italian food cause it's all the same some type of noodle with sauce I much rather have Mexican he asked me to tell him what was in a burrito I said usually a tortilla and some type of meat then he asked to tell him what was an attacker usually a tortilla with some type of meat then he asked to describe to him a chimichanga needless to say I stopped arguing edit apparently there's also a Jim Gaffigan joke about this that I just now found out about I guess great minds et Cie my manager gave a customer credit for an order then locked her from delivery so she never was able to use it ha ha ha ha awesome I worked at an athletic wear store one time and someone tried to return two jackets I just knew hadn't sold they were Carmelo Anthony Jourdan jackets still a full price I asked the lady and her son where they came from and said the team's father bought them at this store I asked her to call him and you could see she looked nervous she was shaking with her phone and I don't know if she made the call or not so I verified an inventory that we had the jackets should have still been in store and made sure they weren't on the rack while I had another manager watch them and hold the merch she said the dad said they came from here and I was like cool I just have to put a store number in when there's no receipt then I sued them a merchandise credit for something near $200 and told there might be there when they decided to find something he liked more then I used the merch credit number to buy the jackets back to reset my inventory to one of each it's probably cause I need sleep but I don't understand quite what you did to the jackets please explain like I'm an idiot cause maybe I am had a girl ordering a pina colada and then complaining about the coconut she didn't like coconut so I got her another drink and she goes what are you going to do with that one will you throw it away I just looked at her told her that I do like coconut and took a sip on order this drink and then Beach about one of the key ingredients foolproof I had more than one of these encounters since I worked as a waiter for quite a while I remember a Karen wanting a sincere apology after insulting and berating one of my best friends there and since I was the one in charge I had to do it so with the biggest smile I could put on I went to her and said I'm Sol sorry for a a a ll the things my coworker did to you we all here know a lady like you deserves different so let me help you she was smiling like the crazy beat she was thinking she won but then I added let me go with you to the door so you could find a restaurant that serves your kind since you are not welcome here anymore she was foaming I still remember his face lol then as she was leaving I said something like I hope you have a day as wonderful as you deserve she complained to management but since I was always the good guy at work and my co-workers didn't say a thing they let it pass I worked at a restaurant in my hometown for years and the most common rude thing customers would pull was lifting their empty cup with ice in it and shaking it at me implying they needed a refill my response was always the same are you making music or did you need something use your words a Schatz I'm not your dog my ex-wife used to do this crap it was so embarrassing I'm really sorry people suck thank god she's your ex-wife not at a restaurant that is a parking attendant at a ski resort I was allowed to clap back the best one went like this bye why can't I just park there me because we have a bunch of school buses full of kids coming later and we need to reserve this space for them bye but I'm a good driver come on there's no parking anywhere else me yes there is you'll just have to walk a little bit further from your car to the left bye but I don't want to me too bad leaves for the bathroom and comes back finding guy and family getting ready where I told them not to park guy smokes and methyls out a parking ticket and places it on his windshield in front of him guy hey what the hell man move your car now or I'll tow it - I would have gone straight to towing of when he went into the resort let him handle it and figure it out on my last night as a delivery driver I was told to keep the change on $12.98 as my tip I responded by rummaging through my change pouch took out two pennies and tossed them back saying if I wanted your two cents I would have asked you a duck in question and walked away was my final delivery ever and well worth it edit I was a working for a win place in the US and he ordered the wing basket to be paid cash upon delivery on another note this location was notorious for never tipping in the owner to make up for it charged an extra quarter for delivery so instead of one dollar it cost one dollar and 25 cents woohoo this was revenge for all the times us drivers went there in the past and for those who continue to do so for the Brits here it is customary to tip food delivery drivers two dollars-three for a basic meal or more depending on how much food you ordered not a server but I had a few when I worked at at the Comcast retail Center one guy in particular came in hot and was adamant that we doubled his bill I look into his billing history and lo and behold he hasn't paid in two months I point this out to him and say let's be real you haven't paid in two months we're both white and I guess my use of the phrase be real triggered something in him because now he's complaining that I have shitty customer service and I should go work for McDonald's instead I immediately respond but then where would you work I know Comcast is evil and all but taking money from the hey home made my entire ducking week edit to people asking me why I brought up race it's because I was the only white person working that day in an urban location and maybe I'm reaching but that job was the only time in my life where other white people felt a need to correct my speech he wasn't the first or the last to do this wait what does the fact that you both are white have anything to do with this lol perhaps the term b-real is considered Ebonics or something I once saw an extremely rude guy picking on waitresses and just being a total go on there was however one male waiter who whom he promptly summoned by another beer waiter sorry no more left by horseshit bring me the ducking beer waiter no more left for you he then walked off leaving the guy to himself the route dude then left the place quietly to my great surprise maybe not the most powerful comeback but it was amusing to watch worked part-time at a thrift store got cursed out by a customer yelling why don't you get a real job replied with why don't you go yell at a real store in the most dire deadpan voice this happened a few times hosts at me a table with a couple in their toddler the two sat on the same side of the booth kissed etc so I knew they were a couple but the woman looked much older like she looked terrible I'm sure it was drug abuse of some kind but it was noticeable so she's super rude to me the entire time she asked for her eggs over-easy hard our conversation went like this me mum your eggs can be over easy which is kind of runny or over hard where they're fully cooked huh Oh bless your heart you have no idea do you me mum huh why don't you get me a real server and he can make my eggs the way I like them me euhh mom I know how eggs are cooked over easy hard doesn't tell me anything do you want them over medium huh how hard is your job honestly how hard is it to just serve people eggs huh I'm sorry was my order too hard did you not understand me what the hell kind of place is this that nobody can make me eggs I took a deep breath and said this mum I apologized to you your son and your grandson let me go ahead and comp your meal her face twisted up and got so red I thought it was going to pop off of her face this is my husband and that's my son Oh HH boy it was so worth it where is your manager I need your manager right now I got my manager he yelled at me in the office but couldn't prove that I was purposefully disingenuous so I didn't even get written up it was awesome thanks for watching subscribe for three videos a day [Music]

Channel: Ask Planet

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Id: UFIVZJcxaIk

Length: 23min 12sec (1392 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 07 2020