Waiters, How Do You Get Back at Rude Customers?

waiter servers of reddit what is the best clapback you've delivered to a rude customer way back in the day when i worked in food service we had a customer who got a salad and when she was finished placed one of her hairs in the bowl in order to get it refunded and got the complimentary i'm sorry free bakery item she did this every day finally the dm sat down at her table and told her this was her last day eating in the cafe they would refuse her refund today and refuse her service in the future she started to say something about the customer always being right and he just put up a hand to cut her off and said you cause us to lose money every day you're absolutely not our customer you are a liability and you are no longer welcome here you are a liability yes love it live in a small town worked in a fish and chip shop one of two in the town we were a tourism town and one of the main attractions was the award-winning fish and chips top five in the county while i was there people in the town believe we were in massive competition with the other shop we weren't we had 25 plus staff they had around seven eight and we were serving thousands more customers than them per week or even per day in summer so on the rare occasion whenever a customer got angry they would simply exclaim well i am going to insert supposed competitors name here instead and i won't be back like it was a big deal and would really hurt our feelings business we would simply tell them that we don't want them back and they should enjoy the food from the other shop yeah we own both shops okay that last line made it pretty awesome not me but my manager woman comes in every sunday and complains every sunday this past time she said i won't be coming back and he goes all right i'll see you next week i was a witness to a silent owning that i get giddy thinking of buddy of mine serving a table and the kid is around 8 10 gives her an adult glass for her apple juice dad pipes up and says he doesn't want her having all that sugar so he needed to take it away and come back with a kid-sized one my friend replied that the glasses are the same size the adult size just looks bigger because they have thick bottoms the dad responds that the adult glass is clearly bigger and like i said i don't want her to have all that sugar my buddy is in butthole he gives a super deliberate exaggerated nod says nothing and marches to our little service alley behind the bar and re-emerges with the kids cup sets it down beside the glass picks up the glass and pours the adult glass lifting it progressively higher until the last drops he drops from like a foot over the glass and darts the frick off to the kitchen without even looking at the guy like didn't even exist i died that's such a great way to tell the guy to frick off my brother was a waiter and was working with a really difficult woman she ordered the salmon and asked when it got to her table if it was farm raised she got mad at him because he didn't mention that the salmon was farm raised when she was ordering even though it clearly states that it is farm raised on the menu she ordered the chicken to replace the salmon and my brother said i have to warn you it's farm raised now picturing a troop of game hunters returning from a safari bearing 10 dead chickens on shoulder poles bunch of drunks making a mess wasting our time and harassing other tables me the manager has decided all off you need to leave we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and your behavior warrants it loudest drunk frickin we're never gonna come back to this crap hole me that's exactly the point please leave we have sweet biscuits with icing on top every weekend this lady comes in wants them fresh with extra icing but every time something is wrong the main complaint being it's too cold probably due to the extra icing being on top of it which we have told her repeatedly well this last time she came in we give her the biscuit fresh out the oven loaded down with icing and she still says it's cold the manager tells her the only way to get it any hotter would be to melt the icing in the microwave which we refuse to do the lady has a connection demanding to know why my manager god love her says because sugar is hotter than the seven sons of heck when it's heated up like that and no matter how much you deserved it i'd be damned if i give you an excuse to have a lawsuit against us work for a moving company customers always get mad when we don't have the equipment available for them when they show up last minute with no reservation well i'll just go to competitors name would always reply with exact directions great they are a block north on the right side you can't miss them never fail to get a disgusted scoff but we would always see them again in an hour or so to set up a reservation when competitors didn't have any equipment either rude customer i don't like insert literally anything here his own rin i know him me overly excited omg same i know him too he's not here but i'm the manager on today so i'll help you out haha i hate name droppers half the time said boss has no bloody idea who they are had a customer harassing me over a product he bought and wanted to return no receipt over the return date claimed he paid for it in cash i told him that the return policy was within 30 days and he had to have a receipt him you're just paid to say that me as a matter of fact i am paid to say that that's how jobs work never saw his scamming butt again not at a restaurant but at buyer they're having education week lady snapping fingers to student employee tell me where the marriage center is student employee snapping back try again sounds like education week was a success an older woman at my table asked me what my mother must think about my tattoos and i said well my father doesn't mind she didn't take the hint i guess it wasn't a very good hint and asked well what about your mother to which i replied she's dead she doesn't do a lot of thinking did she stop there number she said did she die of shame i just said no breast cancer and drop the chick they weren't done eating but her guests looked like they wanted to leave yikes imagining being her after you said that makes me want to collapse into myself and pop out of existence had a girl ordering a pina colada and then complaining about the coconut she didn't like coconut so i got her another drink and she goes what are you going to do with that one will you throw it away i just looked at her told her that i do like coconut and took a sip i'll order this drink and then be about one of the key ingredients foolproof worked part-time at a thrift store got cursed out by a customer yelling why don't you get a real job replied with why don't you go yell at a real store in the most tired deadpan voice this happened a few times woman complained about her cocktail saying she couldn't taste the alcohol could we make it stronger it was already a double but we added a splash she still couldn't taste it could we add more she was obviously drunk when she arrived and angling to get more drunk as cheap as possible which is why i took her cocktail apologize that it wasn't to her liking and said i'd take it off her bill effectively cutting her off for the night a bartender i used to work with hated when customers did this so he used to pour a little liquor down in the straw giving the illusion more liquor was poured into the drink obligatory not me but rude lady to gay cashier sorry i don't speak gay cashier don't worry i'm fluent in b this one's the only one that made me go oh crap table of 10 sunday brunch fancy restaurant i'm hungover a crowd swarms in an opening and my whole section is sat at once i'm efficient and cool i'm used to this i get to the big table and preface that water is being brought as we speak then begin taking everyone's drink order as i'm taking orders around the table one woman blurts out that she wants water and not to forget the water interrupting her friends and family as they make their requests i acknowledge her each time until after the fourth time saying if you ask for water again i'll make sure everyone here gets water but you she sinks back in her chair looking dumbfounded and i go put in the order then head to the bar if i own the service oriented business i'd make sure that my employees could respond exactly as the customers talk to them first this is great when i was 15 stroke 16 working at my family's restaurant there was a christmas party and they booked out the front room this one old guy kept complaining every time i brought him food took it away when dessert came he made some snide comment and i burst into tears when i got back to the kitchen my dad saw me crying and asked what's wrong i said it's okay and not to worry next minute my dad storms out of the kitchen and asks the entire front room who made his daughter cry room goes silent and everyone points him out dad rips into him for making a child cry and told him he's not welcome back old guy tries to defend himself saying i wasn't doing my job dad said something along the line of him not doing a good job as a human so go frick yourself i miss working with him how how that's awesome my mom never had my back against customers it was so freaked up mayo loved working with my brother though he once threw some people out for trying to get a meal they ate in its entirety for free served in muskoka ontario years ago lots of celebrities in the area for the summer served kurt russell and goldie hornburgers martin short dan aykroyd etc had a local nobody who thought he was a big crap celebrity would never tip and would always crumple up both copies of the visa bill into a tiny little ball even chew on it till it was the size of a spit ball so this butt hat comes in with a bunch of friends and treats them all to supper 600 bill crumples up the visa bills again into the tiny little ball and flicks it at me with a grin on his face i swiftly kick it off the patio and into the lake our patio is on he sees us and says in front of the table guess you won't know what your tip is now i tell the table flat out he never tips anyways so no lost dart and walk away they leave i call the police on a dinan dash because there is no evidence this guy paid it's in the lake now and i deleted the pre-auth from the debit machine cops go to this guy's house and make him return to the restaurant to pay he wasn't in butthole ever again grew up in muskoka myself never thought i would see someone on the internet from their lol this is 95 of the tourist every dang summer glad i got out when i had the chance hosts at me a table with a couple in their toddler the two sat on the same side of the booth kissed etc so i knew they were a couple but the woman look much older like she looked terrible i'm sure it was drug abuser of some kind but it was noticeable so she's super rude to me the entire time she asked for her eggs over easy hard our conversation went like this me mom your eggs can be over easy which is kind of runny or over hard where they're fully cooked her oh bless your heart you have no idea do you me mom her why don't you get me a real server and he can make my eggs the way i like them me uhhh mom i know how eggs are cooked over easy hard doesn't tell me anything do you want them over medium her how hard is your job honestly how hard is it to just serve people eggs i'd heard it i gave her order to the cook and of course he asked me what she meant i told him to just make them over medium as i felt like that was what she meant i gave her the eggs and she sighed real heavy her i'm sorry was my order too hard did you not understand me what the heck kind of place is this that nobody can make me eggs i took a deep breath and said this mom i apologize to you your son and your grandson let me go ahead and comp your meal her face twisted up and got so red i thought it was going to pop off of her face this is my husband and that's my son oh boy it was so worth it where is your manager i need your manager right now i got my manager he yelled at me in the office but couldn't prove that i was purposefully disingenuous so i didn't even get written up it was awesome brilliant i worked at a restaurant in my hometown for years and the most common rude thing customers would pull was lifting their empty cup with ice in it and shaking it at me implying they needed a refill my response was always the same are you making music or did you need something use your words a shads i'm not your dog not a restaurant retail and has to do with food 24 hour always open customer comes in around midnight looking for a specific product she's like 65 and super grouchy yelling irrational wants this certain thing to cook a dish we didn't have it no one did it didn't even exist locally some super specific foreign spice thing i don't remember anymore it was well over a decade ago asm comes up smiles we hadn't even called for him he just heard her all the way in the back of the store he asks what she wants and politely apologizes and tells her no unfortunately that's a product we don't carry but old local grocer that's also open 24 stroke 7 does it's just up the street a mile she thanks him and leaves i ask him about it knowing that it was a lie and he says no of course not she's batshit crazy but now it's their problem and not mine spreading the love like all good asms do not at a restaurant but as a parking attendant at a ski resort i was allowed to clap back the best one went like this guy why can't i just park there me because we have a bunch of school buses full of kids coming later and we need to reserve this space for them guy but i'm a good driver come on there's no parking anywhere else me yes there is you'll just have to walk a little bit further from your car to the lift guy but i don't want to me too bad leaves for the bathroom and comes back finding guy and family getting ready where i told them not to park guy smirks at me me fills out a parking ticket and places it on his windshield in front of him guy hey what the heck man me move your car now or i'll tow it too i would have gone straight to towing it when he went into the resort let him handle it and figure it out i had one of those women that complain about their food hoping to get it calmed which she did but then she asked for a togo box i said i thought you didn't like your meal are you sure you want to take it home she got pee i should have refused to give her the box but i was new so i boxed it for her no tip of course basic rule if something is being calmed it gets removed my elderly neighbor has connections at boston pizza and always gets free gravy with her fries when she went to humpty's she asked for gravy when she was told she would be charged for it she said i get it free at boston pizza the server told her that she could go back to boston pizza then i once saw an extremely rude guy picking on waitresses and just being a total dong there was however one male waiter whom he promptly summoned guy another beer waiter sorry no more left guy horse bring me the freaking beer waiter no more left for you he then walked off leaving the guide to himself the rude dude then left the place quietly to my great surprise maybe not the most powerful comeback but it was amusing to watch i love how he just assumes that him demanding more beer will just make more appear also was there really no more beer or was he being cut off i'm quite feminine for a guy i don't mind what people say or think about me so i get confused for gay sometimes that it's important for later as i was working as cashier a guy just went to me and started to say and i'm quoting him i don't understand how many gay people works in this restaurant i don't even know if i want to eat here anymore lots of my co-workers again the way he said was not exactly kindly so when his meal was ready nobody wanted to give it to him so i just did what any sane person would do in my position i took his meal and you bet i freaking became a freaking disney princess for like five minutes straight walking like a model calling him sweet names being extremely touching and giving him the best attention i could it was so fun when i was a server i hope you have a day as lovely as you are front desk in a pediatrics office when a parent complained about the paperwork required to obtain medical history before an initial appointment you're right it's a lot of paperwork here's a survey for you to fill out so you can give our office manager your feedback not a verbal clap back but a visual one and not a very clever one tbh but incredibly satisfying when i was a bartender a middle-aged man bought a pint of guinness so it was still settling behind the bar after he'd paid for it i gave him his change and right afterwards he grabbed the wrist of the young 18 or 19 if i recall correctly woman next to him at the bar and said a disgusting sexual comment i told him to never touch another customer made sure she got away from him and called the bouncer on the walkie-talkie my clap backwards as he was being escorted outside by the bouncer i told him he was barred and poured his pint off guinness that he'd paid for down the sink from quite a height whilst flipping him the versus with my other hand not me personally but my manager in a luxury boutique hotel the building dates from the 16th century in a town with cobbled streets and antique shops people come for the charm of the good old days had a customer leave a trip advisor review complaining that the floorboards in the hotel freaked my manager responded by pointing out the age of the building and told the customer that next time they would probably be more comfortable staying at a travel lodge budget hotel chain in england she even had a guest check in a few weeks later and told me that he'd seen the manager's response and that had convinced him to come and stay at the hotel those freaky floorboards for context i'm a female in my 20s working at a fine dining restaurant this older guy kept giving me crap all night doing stuff like ordering crew to taste and then calling it rabbit food and sending it back at the end of the meal he says where do i put this comment card me see that black box over there right in there guy did you just ask me to stuff your box me mine isn't black sir i need to actually help people now his friends started cracking up and his face turned bright red i don't understand people who make inappropriate comments like that i'm public it made the entire meal uncomfortable and his friends were clearly not impressed by the way he was treating me on my last night as a delivery driver i was told to keep the change on 12.98 as my tip i responded by rummaging through my change pouch took out two pennies and tossed them back saying if i wanted your two cents i would have asked you a freaking question and walked away was my final delivery ever and well worth it well played late to this i guess but i'll shoot my shot i had a large table at the end of the night they were a little needy but mostly okay except for one guy he was the guy that was so sure he was the funniest in any room and kept being obnoxious and would make jokes at my expense not hurtful or rude percent but obviously didn't care how i felt about it and knew as a server i couldn't say anything so near the end of the meal everything has been going well but he's kept up his shtick and someone commented about their group and funny guy says oh i bet jester hates us am i right lol to which i reply no sir i love all my tables some when they sit down and others when they leave but i love them all to which everyone at the table laughs then a few seconds in as they realize that i might be talking about them it turned to nervous laughter i had an older couple once and the husband asked me if i was stupid i told him i was stupid enough to not come back to his table and walked away he flagged me down a couple minutes later apologized and told me he liked that i didn't take his crap i was a far manager at a pretty nice chain i remember one time these two men came up to my register keep in mind i was a small 17 year old girl at the time they gave me some coupons that required a manager's code and joked i hope you know how to use them the last girl didn't and she had to go get a manager since the head manager had stepped out i joked back well i hope i do since i'm the only manager here right now one of the men laughed and said to the other one wow she's manager i guess they really hire anyone here huh without hesitation i said back oh we really do we are actually hiring for dishwasher right now you look like you'd fit the job immediately my chest dropped but luckily the man took it well and the conversation was ended there but i was so scared i was going to lose my job good for you we don't use trays at the restaurant i work at you just take what you can carry and go back for the rest or have someone follow you i usually just carry one item in each hand so i don't risk dropping things pretty often i'll hear uh we are missing item in a condescending or rude way 99 of the time from older people i just say mom sir i only have two hands not especially creative or a clap back but it always gives me a nice sense of satisfaction customer who is angry about something absolutely inconsequential i'm never coming back and i'm gonna tell all my friends owner of store great i doubt you have men it i work at a new york style pizza place but it's in north carolina a customer came in and ordered a slice of pizza this is how the conversation went customer is this really a new york slice my manager how about you get the frick out of here is that new york enough for you the guy laughed it was pretty awesome i'm a secret shopper so i would want guess the secret it out hug i know full well actual secret shoppers don't tell people that they really are secret shoppers my favorite is well we're with corporate s freaking pay me hep i remember my personal favorite older couple around 70ish would always come in this chain restaurant to eat every sunday after church while the wife was extremely polite the guy was an absolute bag of dongs he often yelled and berated her along with the server on one fateful day i was graced with their presence once again he was being his normal butthole self toward me and even worse to his wife on this particular occasion finally i had had enough of his crap toward his wife and said no matter what you say and what you do i'll have at least two minutes alone with your food it will be right out the wife absolutely lost it laughing he shot her a mean glare and after hesitating a split second she continued with even louder laughing i never touched his food and neither did he they never came back poor wife if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video 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Channel: Updoot Everything

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Rating: 4.9129081 out of 5

Keywords: waiters, rude customers, get back, revenge, rude customers get owned, get owned, restaurant, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2021, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: tlIleXAMybk

Length: 25min 2sec (1502 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 16 2021