Why Don't You Talk To Your Parents Anymore?

serious redditors who are no longer in contact with their parents what was the final straw my parents divorced when I was three until my teenage years I had regular contact with my dad but it was pretty clear that he prioritized his new family his second wife was insanely jealous and hated me that's kind of hard to understand as a kid so I just came out of it with a huge inferiority complex after I moved away from home I had a bitterness and resentment phase and broke off contact with my dad that lasted for ten plus years until my son was born my dad started sending birthday and Christmas gifts and I thought oh what the heck he should see his grandchild so I invited him over to stay for a couple of days he had divorced again and was single well he arrived and we had nothing to talk about it was awkward his luggage was a plastic bag full of wine bottles when I got up the next morning they were all empty after he left we just didn't talk again it's been 17 years from what I hear he's now married for the third time to a woman who shares his love for red wine so I guess he's happy probably based on my life experience I think blood relationships are overrated there's nothing special about sharing the same gheens find your family among people who are there for you and appreciate you for who you are last bit really reflects my view you didn't get to choose your family sure they might be great but I'd rather surround myself with people I really care about there's nothing special to me about my blood relatives and it drives me nuts when they try to defend the crappy members of our family because they're family my mother is a complete narcissist my brother od'd and she turned his funeral into a fiasco invite tons of people who didn't know him or didn't like him she changed the death date on the announcement so people wouldn't know what happened the clincher for me though she got up to the podium and said that he wouldn't have been so depressed he was a paranoid schizophrenic with early onset if I his sister had been nicer to him it's been over three years and I finally don't feel angry or hurt anymore , she got up to the podium and said that he wouldn't have been so depressed he was a paranoid schizophrenic with early-onset if I his sister had been nicer to him holy crap that is absolutely unforgivable I guess he left the state when I was 12 next time I heard from him was my 21st birthday it was a self-pitying missive about how much he missed me I responded something to the tune of beat you owe me 100 grand in child support and I'm not the one who changed my address and phone number in 2002 he shot back with more delusional self pitying garbage and now I try to ignore my annual birthday ruining message they both ditched me as a kid and left me to grow up in the system I have no interest in having contact with them even though for several years now they have both separately tried to contact me they are biologically my parents but that is it I slowly started having less and less contact with them when I went into foster care at 15 final straw was long before that but legally I couldn't block them out of my life until I turned 18 but I could wean myself of them bit by bit until that day I think the final straw was probably the day I finally got out she had called the police saying I threatened to kill my younger siblings I had been locked in my room since I had come home from school and hadn't even spoken to anyone else the cop that came that night gave me a choice on how I could finally leave that crappy abusive situation and I took it the final straw was when I walked downstairs with the cop and she was tearfully saying I shouldn't go and how much she'd miss me and on and on after the years of heck and horror she put me through I was just done and I knew as soon as I could I would be cutting her and her husband out of my life went no contacts a day I turned 18 and haven't spoken to either for seven years one of the best decisions I have ever made my mum died suddenly when I was 12 and my father immediately started pawning off my developmentally delayed brother and myself on anyone he could he eventually convinced a woman to marry him less than a year after our amazing mother had died very suddenly new stepmother did not want kids and made that clear from day one I was kicked out at 15:15 one-stroke 2:16 I had to call CPS on my parents so I could finish high school and have a place to sleep finally when I got kicked out at 17 I left for good and graduated while living in a one-bedroom at with two friends a couple years after that they gave my brother to her family I'd never met they're wonderful and loved him but it's still infuriating my parents are very much divorced and hate each other mostly due to my father's rampant alcoholism at 17 I joined the army to be less of a burden on my mother get some kind of a future going and served active time joined the guard and went to college and got swept up into the ball of fun that happened after nine stroke 11 with a few deployments when I came home for the last time I decided to reach out to my father drove to his house thought we could have a decent conversation for one since it was early and he couldn't possibly be intoxicated before 10:00 a.m. I was wrong first words out of his mouth was so how many ragheads did you get to kill I just looked at the ground and realized it was futile a few years later I met the girl of my dreams and got engaged when I invited him to the wedding no RSVP I called him and asked if he got the invitation he said he did I asked him if he was going to come with my grandmother and he said he wasn't which means grandma didn't have a right and when I asked why he wasn't coming he told me because we're not that close I asked him how he expected to get closer to his son if he didn't want to come to my wedding or meet his new daughter and he hung up and that was it to be fair my father is also a veteran and by all accounts got a little scrambled in Vietnam but I told him when and if he decides to sober himself up I will be ready to pick up the phone my new fear is that we are gearing up to attempt to have a kid and my grandfather's both played such a huge element in my life that I don't quite understand what a childhood would be without one but I remember being a young kid and being driven around by this guy who was beyond intoxicated being beaten in public for no reason being taken fishing which was fun in the morning got horrible after the drinking took effect I fear that when and if we have a kid he will actively want to be in the kid's life and the kid will be exposed to all the evils that I was exposed to I was always torn between my parents after the divorce I was about nine at the time and it seemed like even after that they were always fighting and attacking each other my emotional state was pretty crappy for a couple years after that I eventually just kinda stopped talking to my dad no particular reason but he called on my birthday and stuff by the time I turned 15 I was feeling much better about everything in my life and ended up saving my education because of it there were a few things that happen in between graduation and Father's Day but Father's Day was the last straw he called me and asked if I wanted to come to his hometown for Father's Day which I reluctantly agreed to because of what happened on graduation then he started to completely unprovoked bash my mom for at least five minutes straight everything negative emotion I had when I was little every struggle I had with my parents came back to life in those five minutes and then I realized he caused literally all of them he was manipulating me into believing my mom was a devil and I almost bought into it I hung up and haven't talked to him again since it's been four years I was 16 and I wouldn't lie in court about my mother so he could get out of child support for me and my little brothers so he kicked me out of the house at 2:00 a.m. in February he tried to make it up to me later and instead he ended up shoving me against a wall so hard I fell and lost my breathe first thing out of his mouth you fell be yourself and my new wife will vouch for me if you try to tell anyone otherwise never look back or talk to him again what a piece of crap glad you moved on I haven't spoken or seen my father in about seven years he was a horrible father who hit my mother throughout my whole life and even before I was born mom sent him to prison twice for domestic violence but she always went back to him as she thought it would be better to take care of me with two parents in the picture final straw was when my dad went half a [ __ ] in front of me at my mom and she fled the house with me and got a restraining order straight away there's a lot more crap to the story but I won't get into it too much the coward fled the house with all the valuables before the cops showed up at the door to escort him out I am so happy that he's gone and I hope that for as long as I live I never see that piece of crap my parents split when I was five I move States with my mom that I used to visit my dad over the summer he put me in summer camp so I would really only see him after he picked me up and before he dropped me off he used to beat the crap out of me and freak me up mentally he was a foster kid that had abusive alcoholic parents so of course he carried on the tradition when I was ten he hit me so hard he broke my nose I stole his gun and tried to kill him but I was ten so I wasn't really sure how to use it I just didn't know what else to do my plan failed him somehow he convinced the family it was all my fault I was committed for six months I was diagnosed with depression anxiety suicidal tendencies I wasn't bitter and manic no one believed my case my dad was an amazing people person as well as a con man and had everyone convinced of his story even me for a while I haven't seen him since I was 10 my mom is on her fifth divorce she owes me thousands of dollars which I gave up on years ago she is still on drugs drinks smokes and job hops like no other she is also a great people person and somehow gets everyone to feel sorry for her her negativity is a gaping black hole that will suck you in I can't be around her despite living in the same city I haven't seen her for about five years I have two sisters same one that saw things for what they were up until a few years ago now the sisters have written me off as the bad sheep and they continue to see my mother I never see my nephew or nieces and that sucks I was kicked out of my house when I was 14 I was homeless but managed to hop around from friend to friend for at least a place to stay when I was 15 I was adopted basically my best friend's mom took me in it was awesome more family than my family I had two new brothers a new sister and a great mom four years this lasted for yours for about the past 3-4 years we are in less and less contact older brother moved away to our me younger brother moved into his own place got married and had a kid younger sister got married and moved to her own place I kept trying inviting myself over inviting them over having be bqs etc every event became less frequent the excuses kept growing now it's a shocker to get a Facebook message I don't blame them I'm not family the younger brother's wife reminds me of it every time I see her it makes crap hard I am sorry for what you've gone through I hope that you've come to shake off the miserable people and experiences from your past please accept a hug from an Internet stranger after years of physical and mental abuse from my father the physical part stopped and I started to realize that the sentiment of blood is thicker than water is a bunch of bulls and not something that excuses horrible behavior from a parent the mental and emotional abuse continued every time we talked on the phone or saw each other anyway he could have tried to manipulate or control my life was attempted and created so much stress and havoc that I just broke and told him he had to stop his behavior or I would have no choice but to stop talking to him he told me I wouldn't have to put up with his behavior if I didn't do things to warrant it so I hung up and decided to wash my hands of him for good she left me when I was 3 B started a new family without me and that is why I don't intact with my parents I served in the USMC and was deployed to Iraq in 2004 I trusted my mother with my power of attorney thinking she would have my best interest at heart for my paygrade and time served overseas I should have come home to dollar-sign 34k a nice son piled up to start my young life however when I returned to the States and checked my bank balance there was less than $4,000 my mother had spent my money buying nice gifts for my brother and her boyfriend including college tuition and a new Jeep that was 10 years ago and I haven't spoken to her since the day I found my account and was told what she did just cause she had power of attorney doesn't mean you are powerless to get the money back kicking me out of the house three days before I left for basic military training because I had the goal to make sure she didn't kill herself when she was completely as faced will do it it's like that guy who sued mr. incredible for saving him she died that kinda and I bet my father left when I was 1 and no matter how abusive Eva's I always forgave him after my mom died he got really bad calling me just to tell me I'm worthless it was in July 2011 when I called to say I had set up a bandh account like he asked so he could send child support to my stepfather who would take care of me he called my stepfather pathetic for wanting another man's help no one insults my stepdad sure as heck not when he is raising me as his own daughter that was the moment it ended with my father sounds like you have a real father anyways I lived a carefully balanced double life when I lived with them and even for a while after I moved out on my own it was easier to just stop talking to them than it was to maintain a double identity I have tried a few times to invite them back into my life but it hasn't worked I don't fit a righty of the person I should be and I'm living a life completely opposite of what they think I should our conversations always ended up with being lectured on needing to change my path and make right choices and me trying to get em to understand that even at the close of my 20s my life is my own in that I'm actually happy in life frustrating and depressing and all-around not good for me I'm going to make one final attempt to prop the bridge up and open the road again but if they don't make any effort I'm gonna let that mother burn I am no longer in contact with my paternal grandmother or anyone else on my dad's side and neither is my dad only when he is forced to the final straw was when my grandma lied about my aunt Adele kicking her out of the house and so she had to move in with us she always looked down on my mum for not being Chinese and our family for not being as rich my mom was always good to her because she lost her own at the age of 12 and despite all the crap my grandma flung at her my mom always made sure to do nice things for her so she moves in with us and then three days later she called up the rest of the family and accused my mom for kicking her out as well all this so that she can't move in with her first and favorite grandson there was a huge fight everyone making my mom the scapegoat my dad's brothers wives took it as an advantage to pin all the blame on my mom I basically called my dad's sister a self-righteous C and from then on I swore to stay away from such poisonous vindictive people there are many things my grandmother did to my mom and all of them discriminative and malicious I will post them if anyone wants to know my mom and I don't stop my dad from seeing his family but he has avoided them off his own accord even on the one time he did happen to see them the supposedly perfect children are ver disrespectful to him they have no part of my life and as far as I know they are not family she left when I was four and never looked back she was never interested in being a mom in the first place and I guess a depression and personal issues got the best of her she would make excuses not to show up for her weekly visitation with me and when she would stop by she spent more time talking to my grandparents than interacting with me one day she came by as usual left the house saying I'll see you guys next week got in the car where her mother was waiting for her said she was done with all of this that my family treats her like a second-class citizen never wanted to speak of this again and rode off into the sunset to be quite honest after what she did to herself and subsequently Emmy I'm better off without her as for my father I see him during family functions but our relationship is so strained and tumultuous that it wouldn't bother me in the least if I never heard from him again I know that sounds very harsh but it's the God's honest truth my dad was as an abusive alcoholic he couldn't keep a job from his drinking and it was a normal occurrence growing up not to have a car because he'd wreck them constantly my mom was at her wits end and gave him an ultimatum booze or the family he chose the booze he moved down to Florida with his parents and became a beach bum I made an attempt to reconcile with him a number of years ago it was labboard but we were making progress I'd call him faithfully every week one day he said that because I was so good at calling him that he was going to make the next phone call as a good gesture it's been 14 years my mom is an alcove a did me as a team to cut off contact with my dad never been sure if she genuinely believed he was cheating on her or it was a convenient lie to be able to take me back to her home country long story short he didn't fight hard enough and after months of increasingly erratic behavior I came home one day to my younger sibling saying he had to drag her to bed because she had passed out in the hallway that was where I internally realized something had to happen she ran out of money from the divorce settlement soon after hadn't bothered to get a job for a year and we were kicked out of our house and she decided we had to move a thousand miles away again and confiscated my phone so I couldn't contact my poisonous father took my passport and tried to take our money too you know as a precaution in case I did something stupid we got out and dad rescued us despite everything and got a court order saying she was unfit but none of that was the last straw we kept ringing her from back at my dad's place to maintain contact but all the phone calls were about how we had wronged her how my dad had wronged her and how we should never believe a thing he says how we should make him pay for us to come visit her after the passport issue before eventually I realized she is locked in a situation of loathing and bitterness that I am NOT interested in and is entirely of her own creation I'm a way of getting at my father not really of interest in my own right sometimes you just have to say oh well because it's nothing to do with you she had the opportunity to try to mend our relationship but she can't really be bothered she's more interested in wrecking some imagined revenge on my father than being my mother I should probably be using a throwaway for this but Frick it why not I stopped talking to my mother after she called me up drunk two days before my birthday to tell me how much of a failure I was in how I'd end up as big a failure as my dad who makes more money than her and has a so that doesn't make much sense . i let go of all of the rage i'd held up for 14 years physical and mental abuse when i was a kid she never knew when to stop drinking went to rehab and proceeded to keep drinking etc telling her how she was the failure not me and that when I have a child I'll make sure to raise him her better than she raised me I stopped talking to her and she tried to regain custody of me six months after the incident she works for child services I've learned 80% of the city is corrupt because of this I proceeded to provide proof to my caseworker who was later imprisoned for tax evasion and the FBI is still investigating her to this day of what she had said to me at that time and everything she had said to me up until that point I never trusted that lady and I'm glad she's in prison around the time this was all happening I had gotten into the best private high school in the area and my step mother was working for one of the most successful law offices in the state so she was able to use her influence to free me from the grasp of these crazy people who can't wrap their heads around a woman not being able to be a good parent I'm graduating from high school next year and I've been able to be led some of my schools retreats religious school takes a lot of pride in their retreats and I can see why and speak about the entire incident as well as my experiences that resulted from it overall I wouldn't change the entire experience and as of right now I have no intention of speaking to her ever again you have been visited by the wealth rat subscribin 12 seconds and he will share his wealth with you like and subscribe you magnificent person [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 76,349

Rating: 4.9147639 out of 5

Keywords: parents, parents stories, parenting, parenting tips, parenting fails, parenting 101, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: 22DtcDXpCzw

Length: 21min 41sec (1301 seconds)

Published: Fri May 15 2020