Try Not To Laugh With The Graham Norton Show | Part One

and don't answer this question if you don't want your matter but i have i don't know why you brought this up but i did hear you discuss you had an extraordinary disagreement uh with your wife about yourself do you know what i'm talking about by myself you mean yes yeah ooh listen you know this story do not listen with interest one night as you do we were talking about stuff and i just have no interest and of course being circumcised i said they were chatting they're married they're married they're allowed and she said she said you're not circumcised i said what do you mean you've only known me a few all my life i remember my mother telling me why because it was fashionable at the time she said you're not circumcised i said that's ridiculous i should know if i'm circumcised of course i am end of conversation but the next day i happen to be seeing my doctor are you okay i was seeing my doctor for my annual physical of course so uh while he was down there i said excuse me oh by the way uh erv um my wife and i a little disagreement um i i am circumcised aren't i because she says i'm not and he goes nah he said no no no it's not possible so he looked down again and he said hey i'm jewish i know the difference i have grandchildren you're gonna have to change your facebook status no more beef stew well there's more beef stew were you born in hawaii i wasn't born in hawaii i always lived there in san francisco but i did a lot of my growing up there so yeah so it was amazing i don't know i don't think me what's more you say for years i've always said well when we were there you gave me a big speech like this is my land i started like spiritual speech about how it all started [Laughter] hawaii was beautiful beautiful uh you know mountainside and lushness and and uh we shot in this beautiful place called kuala ranch where uh jurassic park the original jurassic park was shot and the ones uh after that as well and it was just amazing but you didn't like it he hated it no no this is the problem i didn't i didn't like it at all i mean outside of the the spiritual grounds that you took me to and i swear you even sung a song you were like i don't have to share that with you we'll talk about it later so did you bring your medals with you no we did oh i thought you might be wearing them oh no they're just casually in the back pockets these are proper olympic medals wow they're marion have you seen an olympic medal i actually did is there anyone in ireland who hasn't seen those medals they look like me around the [Laughter] and of course now michael down in killarney word must have reached you of the o'donovan oh for sure i mean i wasn't in killarney at the time but uh everybody knew about it that's for sure yeah yeah and marion watching that clip and could you understand the accents nothing not a word i understood since just that once the movie says with michael would just take carey accent [Applause] so listen cause the people people love the interviews you did during the olympics but like you guys knew you were being funny while you were doing the interviews i don't know i think it was funny because they were being themselves yeah well to be fair we weren't trying to be serious like but yeah and just yeah you just kind of happened you did seem very happy to be in rio i was quite serious about the whole situation every time we told there's a chute like yeah and you have to understand like people ask us these questions all the time after races it just so happened to put a camera in front of us in rio i don't know you won a silver medal so suddenly everyone was interested but this is but the great thing is this is like ireland has never won any medal in rowing before have they well not at the olympics no but they have a few world championship titles all right but it's the first olympic medal yeah and the interview where you talked about your approach to the race the phrases you used in that so explain to the people what you what you said in that do you know what about going to be fast you can yeah yeah yeah it's just a fairly simple sport like [Laughter] this is based on your life i mean this is things yeah i mean loosely graham no but things like isn't the washing machine that happened to you what the the washing you were very hungover oh yeah great tell tony foster that story all their stories are really cool though grail when i was teaching this is what this show is based on i went home one weekend and i was in my 30s i was probably 33 years of age i went home to see my mother and then i went back and while i was at home my mother did my washing for me because i was only 33. then i went back on the on the sunday night i got really drunk and then i went for a curry and then the next day i went into school i'm going to i went into school and it was a school in slow and it was quite a rough school but they had a really brilliant hearing impaired department so there were hearing impaired kids who uh you know struggled they were they were really looked after in school anyway i was really hungover i went there and about break time i felt really uncomfortable i thought something's not right you know so i went to the toilet and i pulled my trousers down and some of my mother's knickers had got got mixed up in the washington and i was wearing my mother's underwear and i went oh god no oh i remember going are you loser this is such a low point you [ __ ] loser and then the curry and the boot the curry and the booze kicked in from the night before so i i i did like a fecal jackson pollock and i started i started going oh god not this not this as well oh jesus so i cleaned myself up and i pulled my mother's pants back and i went back into the um classroom and i saw one of the hearing impaired kids just looking at me like this and that's when i remembered that my i had a microphone directly a lot of young actors they you know they revere you so they look to you the other thing you inspire is impressions people doing impressions now when people do impressions of you is it like sort of nails on a chalkboard or do you kind of enjoy it no i kind of enjoy it especially if they do it well uh so no i i it's great i love it i only ask no because because any hiddlestoners watching will know uh tom hiddleston does impressions you do with a lot of people so who's in your canon it's a it's a expression of admiration just to be clear um so i do i do uh impressions of people that i i admire and i sort of listen to them i get the first time i did an impression um that anyone was aware of i was just telling a story about midnight in paris the woody allen film i was in and how i never read the whole script and i and i thought it was set in the 20s and um i turned up and i bumped into owen wilson who didn't look like he was in the 20s at all uh and uh and i said to him i said so wait hang on who are you playing because i'm playing f scott fitzgerald and i know corey stoles playing ernest hemingway and we're all playing figures of history and he went oh no no no no no i'm from now i go back into there's a time machine it's kind of cool and it's kind of woody and you just kind of it's kind of awesome very good but uh i've done it i mean [Applause] impressions of my fellow avengers um uh i think everyone does an impression of christopher walken because he's just he's such an easy kind of you know i feel like what this show needs is more cowbell depends on what you'd like me to say basically there's no punctuation anything that comes out of my mouth i know whole pages of heat you surprised me so i there's this there's the scene in the middle of the film which you'll be familiar with you were there the one person you don't need they're separated like a great thriller they're separated from for the entire film and they meet twice once at the end once in the middle and it takes place at a restaurant la it's a great scene it's one of the great pieces of screen acting you can hope to watch there it is there's a picture of it it's like a it's a mutual recognition of each other anyway so there's a bit where they have like they sit and have coffee and i have tea and talk about stuff i'm going on i apologize anyway so al pacino at one point al pacino says this he goes uh so [Laughter] we're sitting here like a couple of regular fellas i mean you do what you do i do what i got to do if i'm there and i gotta put you away i won't like it but if it's between you and some poor bastard whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow brother you are going down [Music] and then and then and so then and then it cut and then michael mann cuts back to the esteemed gentleman at the end of the sofa what if you do got me boxton i'm not gonna put you down moving face to face yeah but i will not hesitate not for a second [Applause] i feel like i've gone into a parallel universe where um you're playing all these players i apologize that's great you're the president of ken brown that was my favorite scene was it your favorite thing yeah is it still yeah no no but my favorite scene that was written before not because of or doing it but i just my favorite scene written in the film you know that it's a great piece of writing yeah it feels like it plays in two in two singles in a way like yeah yeah and it's it's like the most beautiful game of tennis did you each do lots of takes what did you do lots of things forget how many takes we did i don't think we did more than five to eight or nine at the moment maybe maybe last second you talk about your dreams and you talk about your life it's so great it's so great there's a bit another bit where you go we know you say he says he says uh pacino says so you never wanted a regular-type life and and uh bob may i call you bob yeah bob says what's that barbecues and ball games [Applause] your mother loves you because you're her daughter yeah but she is actually a sort of a fan as well you know it's not she's not quite that it's um she is oh goodness right so my uh uh one day my mom came to set on the star wars set uh and i was getting this thing called cyber scanned which is where you stand in this kind of loads of cameras and they kind of take your form and put you into a computer and make a toy or a some sort of merchandise or your face on a cushion um and so i go off and do this and i come back and mom's like i've made a great friend and i'm like brilliant it's lovely excellent and she's like the merchandise you know director of all of star wars or something and i'm like wow very impressive and then before i know it what comes in the post um is loads of cushions my face on it so my own mum i guess she gets to see it a fair amount you know but apparently it's not enough so i was kind of blown away how much merchandise there is yes and it's not i mean it's just the beginning it was like the pre-merchandise not even the real stuff is out yet and my mom has all of it and doesn't know about the doll yet so well this is so weird i don't know is this in your flat or her house goodness right okay so basically she'll be really funny if i came home and it was everywhere in my room okay so this is this is this is emilia's actual bedroom [Applause] we found the photo but it's not like that now there is another reason why i'm saying the first date back to that yeah come on in [Laughter] this little thing once i don't have a cv i just have a bedroom but this is cool though so your mother a big fan but brad pitt also a perfect fan that was the best night of my life yes tell the story quickly [Applause] sheets slippers uh no yeah there was this auction thing that happened and um i they called me and said would you you know do you want to do you want to um auction something off like maybe sort of an experience watching the show with you or something and i was like okay it's lovely it's great for charity yeah it'll be for some you know some something yeah and it'll be fine anyway so i'll get there and it's amazing it'll be a good thing um i get there and it's basically like this it's basically it's the oscars there's so many celebrities in this room and i suddenly remember that i said that i would auction something off and so the fear grows so i was petrified absolute petrified and then um the the person whose table i was on is a friend and he was being very kind and kind of put the paddle up and i was like thanks very much that's very sweet that'll be that uh and then someone else's paddle up went up across the other side of the room and i didn't really know and then suddenly it was sort of becoming a bit of money and i was kind of thinking oh this is absolutely mental and someone went it's brad pitt and i was like oh sure yeah exactly and i look over to the room and he's got his paddle up brad's paddle that's brown well it didn't work out because the person whose friend was my friend i think was probably all set up personally who was my friend ended up you know doing the highest bid but but yeah i just kind of looked over with just the most insane emoji heart eyes being like this is just the greatest moment of my life you

Channel: The Graham Norton Show

Views: 10,244,474

Keywords: Graham Norton, The Graham Norton Show, Graham Norton Funniest Moments, Graham Norton Funny, Graham Norton 2019, Graham Norton 2020“ Graham Norton new season, Graham Norton new series, Graham Norton best moments, greg davies, emilia clarke, dwayne johnson, kevin hart, tom hiddleston, hugh jackman, patrick stewart, ryan gosling, dwayne johnson graham norton, kevin hart graham norton, greg davies graham norton, ryan gosling graham norton, emelia clarke graham norton

Id: QDxJsff1zlU

Length: 18min 47sec (1127 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 14 2020