This doctor is dumb

i've come across one of the wildest anti-aging procedures i think i've seen in my entire life granted i'm only 16 so i haven't seen much but this process is actually wild there are a lot of ways to fight aging right there are weird creams you get off of infomercials a lot of people like to use plastic surgery and botox botox and plastic surgery i find to be one of the funniest techniques because you know you put enough of it in your face and your face just like doesn't move you get that smooth alien look that's all good and well you know people can do that but what if i told you that instead of putting a bunch of plastic in your face you could combat aging by injecting yourself with teenage blood yep i want to talk to you guys about a little company called ambrosia just follow me for this whole paragraph okay founded in 2016 ambrosia is providing innovation in health care we treat patients in all 50 states you must be at least 30 years old to receive this treatment our blood is obtained from licensed blood banks within the united states and is matched to your blood type the treatments we offer infusions of blood products are approved in the united states oh boy now here's the best part one liter costs fifty five hundred dollars and two liters cost eight thousand dollars i don't know why anyone is waiting for joe biden to cut the check just just give a little blood and clearly a lot of you are walking around with straight profit in your veins you were born with this money ambrosia is like the fountain of youth if it was created by med men and it's the cbd version meaning that it doesn't really work now that's the big controversy with this is it doesn't doesn't work there's no proof that it works but the guy who created it is so adamant that it does and rather than me retelling what i've read i think you should hear some of it in his own words and you should meet the guy who came up with this i'm gonna refer to him from this point forward as dr k ow hello my name is jesse carmizen and as you heard i'm the founder of ambrosia and we're a company interested in making you young again so we all know that we're aging as we're sitting in this room we're aging a little bit every day and even though it's gradual it builds up and as we get older wear and tear starts to make us a little bit slower i can't quite keep up interestingly okay all right all right i'm just gonna do it i'm just gonna do it bad people have this hairline bad people have this hairline why do you think elon and all these guys get rich to repair it because that's where the evil is the evil is right here when it's showing they're they're vulnerable that's why they need to hide it so most of us have hair over that part so our brain you know it's never exposed it doesn't get sunlight it's not nurtured in that way bad people that [ __ ] is like that from day one they get made fun of for it it absorbs a lot of insults and it just starts percolating awful awful ideas so immediately i'm i'm intimidated by this guy forget everything else just that right there i'm scared the world health organization predicts that dementia and other diseases of aging such as heart disease or diabetes are going to be skyrocketing over the next 40 to 50 years and it's true here but also in the developing world which is why we need scalable low-cost ready treatments and that's what i'm hoping to talk about now as you heard this is somewhat of an old idea in the 1950s professor mckay at cornell decided to sew together two mice he took an old and a young mice mouse and when they were sewn together he found that the old mouse which received the blood of the young mouse became young again so its gray hair turned black it could remember mazes better its heart pumped better in fact in every way it became young again all right i find this to be the gold in the whole thing imagine this for a second a bunch of old rich people with some sort of tick tocker hooked into them just like a like a walking dialysis machine just dragging it around like an accessory they just got a jace pumping blood into them reversing the aging process as they move about the world or just even keeping them alive that is some grim dark [ __ ] i'm picturing like 40 years from now if they somehow got this company off the ground like working just some like some creepy commercial during the super bowl some old guy runs into the frame and he turns the camera and he's like ah ever since i started getting older i can't quite run like i used to that was until i found the ambrosia teen line the ambrosia teen line is a nice little infusion that has teenage blood after i hit my run in the morning i come back home and i just slurp it up they have two methods of injection you can either drink it or a manual prick a lot better than my epipen [Music] call your doctor about ambrosia teen line and start feeling younger today that's the next season of black mirror right there two old guys finished playing tennis in 2016. they walk inside the locker room and there's just like a line of teenagers just like incubating in some tanks and they sit down and plug into them instead of the sauna that's where they go and they go oh man i really feel it starting to get energized the whole thing is about some company that goes around catching stray teenagers to refuel old people man that is [ __ ] dark this whole old mice thing gave me an idea i'm like oh that's why these old dudes in hollywood used to date younger women you know remember when seinfeld had that really young girlfriend every time she wanted to throw a tampon away seinfeld was like no wait i can use that that was awful that's terrible no wait i can use that [Laughter] something like that that was impression was terrible anyway back to dr k there's a greater understanding that when we're young we produce nutrients growth factors that are important for our health but as we get older we just don't produce enough of them and so our idea is to use essentially excess blood from blood banks and to help you restore your levels of these growth factors and this is what it looks like in fact these are my parents and they like the treatment my dad said he felt very energetic putting up storm shelters for the recent hurricane and my mother thought her skin improved it's about two hours and apparently it feels really good okay all right listen man i don't know about you but if i'm looking for an anti-aging treatment the evidence i'm looking for to back up that treatment is not yo here are my parents using it i want to see it used on like at least a thousand people not your [ __ ] parents man he didn't even lead with that he didn't lead with how many people has been tested on that is just like dude i got this idea it's kind of an old idea here are my parents doing it they seem to like it so yeah um i need about seven million dollars in funding look at this attempt at being self-aware just peep this now first i want to say i know this sounds like vampires but there may be a good reason for that in the 17th century a noble woman in hungary elizabeth bathory was actually executed for bathing in the blood of young women and apparently she was doing this to improve her appearance and as our science is now demonstrating well there probably was a fact to these vampire legends it probably works but it's not something we recommend my dude did you just try to say twilight is somehow based in reality there's some truth to these vampire legends yeah it worked on my parents when people think about aging they think about their appearance and i'm pretty happy to report here that we are seeing improvements in appearance i've seen it myself it's kind of dramatic people they don't look like they're 20 but they do look significantly younger their wrinkles are better their skin has a better color to it and furthermore on the medical front we're seeing improvements in patients with symptoms of alzheimer's did all right all right four minutes in he's basically got the vibe of someone who just didn't do their book report he's just saying a whole lot of stuff yeah it works i've seen it i saw it i read the book no trust me it's in there here's the only thing that anyone does know about this and this is like this is crazy there was only one person who was willing to speak about the effects of it and they died from a heart attack that's not funny the funny part is that this dude dr k claimed that person faked their death what you can look it up it's a huff post article notorious young blood doctor claims dead patient faked his own death you can read that on your own time but here's where all of this really comes together for me and i think for you as well guess where this man showed up guess what tv network did a segment on this not too long ago yep that's right the doctors you both live healthy lives i like to believe i do as well would you get a blood transfusion from a younger person if you thought it would make you feel look i feel like a young person would you do it you look like a young person feel and look the answer is no if i really thought it would work i might okay you know the intro is is stupid it doesn't matter peep this frame teen blood for better health what a [ __ ] bait can we explain to the three docs up here how you feel that younger blood components is going to to make you feel more youthful right there's real science behind this so scientists at harvard ucsf and stanford and other universities have shown that molecules decline as we age and supplementing them restores function to our look at this he doesn't believe a [ __ ] word he's like all right eggman speed it up what's this [ __ ] you're about to say brains hearts pancreas liver muscles other tissues so jesse let's just say i roll into your clinic number one hold on was that even a answer molecules decline as we age and supplementing them restores function to our brains hearts pancreas liver muscles other tissues so jesse let's just say i roll into your bro that's it that's it that's so vague people at universities say if you replenish these certain things in your blood it'll improve your body in these ways but he doesn't actually describe how the blood going into your butt he just he just puts that on you he's like oh yeah just whatever you think is gonna happen with the blood yeah that's what happens so jesse let's just say i roll into your clinic number one what do i have to pay and number two how do i know what i what do i have to pay can you imagine calling your [ __ ] insurance provider being like yeah i'm here at dr k's to get me some tick tocker blood yep yeah that's not covered damn right so we work directly with blood banks blood banks that supply other hospitals with plasma for transfusions so it's coming from the very same blood banks and they work with us to obtain this young donor plasma the lowest price point is eight thousand dollars we're trying to make that even lower in the future that's where we are right now to prove that it's effective did you do any studies where you infuse blood and you infuse like i thank you thank you did you do any studies my man or did you just use it on your parents serve it up any fluids or something like that to ask people how they felt after and if so how large were those studies yeah so we did a study but it wasn't randomized or placebo-controlled and so it's not the best kind of study so people knew what they were getting that's right people knew it was open label but each patient received a single dose of plasma and we measured about 100 biomarkers before and one month after treatment which is quite a ways after the treatment and we saw real results in terms of physiologic changes in those blood tests that we'll be publishing soon and we measured that in about a hundred patients it was a good number jesse can i ask why you wouldn't do something where we could actually have real science quite frankly i feel like you you guys had an opportunity if someone wants to leverage this into a money-making operation i'm fine faith in the doctors restored man round of applause for that get on the egg man but why not do a good study rather than quite frankly a really poorly poorly designed study i think it's it's difficult to do that size of a study because right now blood can't be patented so investors aren't particularly interested in funding the sort of multi-million dollar study that you're talking about that's the gold standard of clinical trials so we took a trial design he's just [ __ ] he's like itching to jump down his throat that little stutter like you only do that stutter when you're about to like ether somebody in an argument the [ __ ] is just pouring out of their face and you're like stop stop stop no more not quite as rigorous but still gave us a lot of information about how this character was would you would you at least be amenable to doing us he didn't accept that at all look at that [ __ ] it's like when you i don't know why i got so many school comparisons but that's really what i see here he really set the tone with that [ __ ] ass presentation this is like when you go tell your teacher that your grandma died and you can't take a test on a friday and yeah yeah that that doesn't now that you still got to take that test man yeah you got to do that i'm sorry would you at least be amenable to doing a small study i mean there's power in numbers but maybe even 100 or 200 people and not letting them know what they're getting so when you ask them if they feel better in a few months then they don't they don't have that placebo effect and even that smaller study would hold more weight you know what i mean damn she really tried to throw him a bone she's like why would why don't you just do just a small amount and back of what you're saying even a little bit even that smaller study would hold more weight you know what i mean yeah no i totally agree um if we find the the resources to do that kind of study i think that would be the best thing for this new treatment faith in the doctors restored man round of applause for that get on the egg man anyways yeah it doesn't work but i just thought that's one of the craziest things i hired red in a minute you know the product you're selling is [ __ ] when even a panel at the doctor is looking at you like yeah nah we can't we can't co-sign that that is [ __ ] now we all can share this this experience together now we all know about this blood transfusion treatment and we can all alienate our friends and people at parties by bringing this up and talking about something that is so bizarre that it's not relatable in any way hey man did you want to smoke you know you can combat aging by getting young people's blood in yours [ __ ] crazy right where you going no let me [Music]

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 1,369,157

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: 2E0iY3otOfg

Length: 16min 35sec (995 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 17 2021