The Seamen Demon

press the like press the like press the like press the like button press the light you have to you have to press the like to activate my microphone all right bam um yeah i'm standing because i'm i'm going [ __ ] nuts sitting down and talking sitting down and talking i think it's the like antithesis to who i am as a person which you didn't ask for probably half you just put this [ __ ] on while you're like i don't know you're doing some assignment you're cleaning your house that's the funniest part about these commentary videos is is sitting down and talking to a camera when probably 50 of the time uh whoever is on the other side is just not [ __ ] there and yap to a camera with all this energy and you just doing all that and literally the other side of the phone is empty it's just like i'm trapped in this little screen like and then the like and then isn't this and then you're just off to the side like anyway so in the video the return of weird dms there's this young lady who talks about her aunt who took like a paternity test and her aunt found out that she was part of like a fertility fraud scam fertility fraud is when someone is fraudulently fertilized that's like when you forget to pull out or if you do it with a syringe that's fertility fraud so yeah that girl in weird dms talks about her aunt and right around that time this documentary came out called baby god and a lot of people urged me to watch it so i finally watched it oh this dude redefined the term super spreader it is crazy this dude's name is dr quincy fortier i'm gonna call him dr f so dr f was a doctor for 60 years 60 6-0 okay he had a dynasty of fertility fraud cases and i don't even think a lot of them are accounted for this all kind of kicked off recently and this dude he's got kids that were alive during like i don't know what was 20 20 minus 60. let me think about the math for a second he died in 2006 and he was a doctor for 60 years i mean this dude was giving semen away all the way up until 90 years old i don't know how you do that indestructible semen how is it alive for that long you know most of us our swimmers tap out this dick was looking like an old pasta machine just just pushing out this don't worry once we get it all out it's gonna make a nice baby [Laughter] so yeah back to the story this dude claimed to take a fascination with fertility because he grew up on a farm and it was something to do with like cows one of the cows on his farm couldn't get pregnant and so from that he became very interested i like how he says that like that's sort of astute and honorable but nah i think that's just weird why are you seven years old obsessing about getting a cow pregnant isn't that like the first sign that you're crazy that you either wanna [ __ ] or hurt animals at a young age i think at a young age your relationship with animals is only ever supposed to be you know like friendship he grows up and from that small town in nevada he moves i think closer to las vegas and he starts this fertility clinic and if you've ever been to nevada and looked around and thought man everybody here kind of looks the same it's because they are over the 60 years of his career people would go to him for fertility issues and he was just he was getting everybody everybody he would claim to use a mixture between you know the husband's sample and his sample but there's a lot of evidence in the documentary that suggests this dude was not using a mixture also i'm not a doctor but i don't think semen you know it's not like coke where you can just you know cut some things together and still get the same result like semen is pretty final the highlight of this documentary for me was at like 29 minutes and 40 seconds and i wrote down the time stamp so they started off by showing the results of his experimentation right or or not experimentation but his insemination practices and it's like all these people who discover that their dads aren't actually their dads then they go on to talk to his kids and at 55 he adopted these two young girls and they kind of get their opinion of him because they seem to be his only supporters in the entire documentary and they start talking about him you know he was loving he took care of us then he gets to this point of the documentary where they're talking about how how smart he was and they say i mean not only was he our father but he was also our ob gyn and i mean we just thought that was so great because not only was he our father but he was our friend and what better than to have your best friend looking after your health what no [Laughter] absolutely not your adoptive father should not be doing any kind of science okay that's all i'm going to say right after they say that they kind of try to bury it with more compliments about him something about his intelligence then they hit you with this zinger they're like i mean he's such a great man i mean he circumcised himself who do you know that can do that [ __ ] nobody cause that's [ __ ] crazy that's not something you brag about you realize how your [ __ ] mind you got to be too people cut themselves splitting a bagel and they pass out it's not a sign of intelligence or you know profoundness that your dad could have stood at his looking at his rock solid like that's crazy and what gets even darker is that there was a dude he went and told his mom that he found out uh you know that dr f was his dad and his mom gets all shaken up and she goes you know what's wild i went to see him because i just wasn't feeling well i didn't even go in there for fertility so he just put his in her just because i found this clip from dateline where this lady goes there's no penal code around it which is just just slip that in there huh she's just trying to play devil's advocate in the conversation but there's no devil's advocate here but that's the problem because when it comes to fertility comes that's uh there are really no laws about it they're starting to be but it's like it's a massive problem there are these other doctors in that documentary who provided their own samples and they're just they don't give a [ __ ] at all one of these guys just changed smoking cigarettes he's got these long ass fingernails you know he's just sitting there chain smoking he's like oh yeah we give our samples all the time back in the day well going through medical school we used to donate for 50 bucks 50 bucks a pop he hit that line and i knew that line would hit so many men all over america if they had seen this documentary because to know that during this whole pandemic you could have been cashing out you was just giving that you was just donating it to everything but a sperm bank the toilet ruining towels all that toilet paper that you [ __ ] got in fights for at target can you believe that you guys went to target irate upset fuming fighting arguing with with people to get a a thing of toilet paper just a [ __ ] nut into it that's the other part to all this that sent my head in the spiral because apparently you know semen is that [ __ ] is hotter than gamestop there's this article i'm looking at right here it says the semen industry is a 5 billion dollar industry and i guess because of coronavirus people aren't donating sperm as much as sperm banks are running out and actually for the last few years there's been this weird like you know resurgence in like what i only could describe is like the ted bundy gene but it's like a weird kind of wholesome version of it but basically it's these dudes they're like these sperm donors but they kind of make it like uh it's like they're influencers or something like they just donate it and they maintain relationships with all the people that they donate to and when i mean relationships i just mean sort of like yeah i'm you know i'm technically your dad he's not around constantly i'm gonna sit down and play this [ __ ] video look at this right here before we get into this video i want to call out the most notable or like the most popular at least that i've seen it's this dude he calls himself the [ __ ] as of five months ago this dude is up to 70 kids if there was a leaderboard for inseminators i mean this dude is up there and which maybe is a good thing because maybe you know a guy like dr f shouldn't hold the record for most ovaries clapped you know it should be a guy like this who treats you with respect and love or some [ __ ] like that now this video is a little bit old but i'm only i'm only referencing it because i just feel it's like it's a good example in the midst of all this you know this is like 10 million views but everything's relative on the internet 10 million views now is almost like you know a thousand 10 years ago it's just so much content out there who even cares it's a magical moment at an airport as a father greets a daughter he has never met this is my daughter number 19. that's right michael rubino has 19 children and here they are [Music] looking like a meet and greet oh man i know there's like a pun in here about mad con or something like that this is kind of genius man you donate your sperm and then you just create a tour of meeting your kids and you charge them you make them pay meet your dad inside edition brought them together for the very first time what has this been like for you it's very exciting it's a little surreal [Music] they range in hi dad he's like oh relax relax it's just on paper it's not like that i'm not your actual you know calm down calm down kinda sounds like a tv sitcom only this family story has a huge twist michael rubino isn't raising these 19 kids he was the sperm donor for their moms did you ever imagine in your wildest talk about a full house it feels like i need a bigger house i mean i'm not saying it's a bad thing you know this this is cool i like his approach i like that he's open about it you know even the [ __ ] dude he runs like a facebook group and you could just hit him up yo i'm sorry just in the middle of all this look at this right here look at this the channel is called loose women that is [ __ ] up [ __ ] on fathering tension look this is not this is not a crazy thing just dudes do this the requirements are high to donate sperm that's the only problem so you know a lot of you uh you know doomer dwellers sleeping on your blowup mattress to donate sperm now is is difficult you have to have gone to college and be like 5 10 or some i would draft all kinds of dudes that you could pick from maybe you want a short child maybe you want a you know a man who's 5'8 at least you have that option right the nba and all these nba franchises could be minting off this instead of denying one-off relationships they should be doubling down they should be monetizing these experiences they should be creating fan experiences you know could you imagine if every year if the timberwolves gave out you know if you paid like a certain amount of money and you could potentially be one one fan to get sperm donation from a top player off the timberwolves clearly it's a need anyways yeah go check out baby god it's a it's a good watch it'll it'll mess you up i promise you that let me know if you liked this format i liked it i had way more fun i don't like sitting down and talking i like standing for whatever reason um all right thanks for watching everybody i'll see you on the next one goodbye press the like press the like press the like press the like [Music] me if i give a [ __ ]

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 1,037,945

Rating: 4.985014 out of 5

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: 3nN0ikZOEJE

Length: 13min 28sec (808 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 17 2021