Weapons marketing is shameless

in the spirit of today's video soldier you have one thing to do and that is to press the like button i'm tired of saying it press it press it now thanks okay this is two videos now i'm going on three maybe four maybe forever i'm here to show you guys that i don't only talk about things that squirt things that are wet things that are itchy things that bleed there's more to me than that there's more to me than fraudulent medicine and slush alright now i have to say today's video is a little frustrating for me personally because i've had this idea sitting on the back burner for a while and i finally decided to do it and the video i want is unavailable because the channel that had it was taken down it's almost like the universe doesn't even want me to deviate when i try to take a step left shut up man just do the love island video the video that got removed was a salesman for this product and when it starts you're gonna go what just shut your horny little mouth and watch it okay effective efficient successfully tested general atomic's blitzer railgun accomplishes multiple missions at a fraction of the car all this with your new dodge charger i had no idea that there were agency produced commercials for weapons of war i had no idea and before all the gun enthusiasts start to get on my head about dude you've never seen no i haven't okay you go to twitch to watch speed runs of rifle assemblies okay everyone else goes to watch people in hot tubs that's the difference between you and everyone else so i don't want to hear it this commercial blew my mind because i've never seen missiles talked about like car features this one is presented like it's air conditioning in a new chevy silverado what blew my mind even harder just gave my brain top absolutely sucked my cerebral off is the original video where a guy is selling this rail gun now when i say to you the sentence a guy who sells railguns what do you think that looks like i'mma let you think for just a second what do you see in your head what do you picture thought about it jason statham exactly that's what you're thinking it's jason statham with a briefcase that's not what he was this was a just a pepper-haired dad slapping the top of railgun bullets like this thing hell you put a refrigerator in this thing shoot it out it don't matter it's gonna come out the same way ka boom he'll put some microwaves in there let it rip put a small mini cooper in here hell i'll give you a mini cooper with a driver in it we'll go pick up some fashion students at the local college them and their cars load them up in that thing and kaboom make them earn some real jewelry a pair of dog tags you know what i mean watching that guy talk about the weapon made me feel this progressive feeling of it doesn't work as good as he says it does i feel like a weapon that could blow up an orphanage doesn't require much talking i feel like it's just inherently evil you can look at it and you as the buyer know what that thing is gonna do like you don't buy that without knowing what you're gonna point it at and what you're gonna kill you know what i'm saying you don't need some guy on the other end like oh you can kill anything with this anybody whatever you want wherever you want you start to oversell a weapon like that it's starting to make me think um this can't do what you guys say it does we keep watching this it gets weirder the blitzer rail gun system is the best solution against large raids transported by existing army vehicles the system is quickly ready to defend the blitzer railgun integrates into existing bmc 2 and radar systems y'all get that existing bmc 2 r whatever the hell that was army nerds in the comments let us know what all that was radar tracks multiple inbound threats establishing a firm track for fire control handover outbound projectiles are tracked and guided to assure maximum lethality i'll take two i want two maximum lethality what have you ever bought that has maximum lethality attached to it maybe four loko but that's probably it the mobility of threat launchers makes them hard to locate and difficult to destroy quickly as incoming threats are countered so first of all i like how half this commercial is in 3d they know damn well they can go to lively can get the real footage stop pretending like you don't have the real footage floating out there on the internet we know this is the only array of products where they could put murder in the commercial and everyone that it's targeted at would just go i want that right there buy with apple pay scan your face yep i want to know who put this together like even if it was an internal thing within their company or if they hired an outside agency there was still like like a mad madman group of people that had to come together and go all right everyone what do we feel are the very important features of the blitzer railgun they're not really sure which way to take this product but i think we can help them here uh yes peggy it can kill men it can kill men and women and children the last two bad for right uh what's a w insurgence yes that word the other part about this commercial that's really funny is it has the same animation style as those infomercials for tactical sunglasses you know what i'm talking about let me just dig one of those up real quick complete visual clarity because survival safety and success depend on it get the blitzer alpha kill em all sunglasses with your blitzer rail gun so after watching this video i thought to myself there have to be other weird ads for you know weapons and what i found is there are a lot of ads for weapons some of them are kind of like pharmaceutical commercials it almost seems like medicine you almost wouldn't really realize they're talking about weapons until you hear the language about you know like keeping people safe and that then others are in this same style where it's really over the top and some of the weapons that these people sell are just watch this one what if we told you the future is now robots are replacing combat soldiers unnecessary casualties are becoming part of the past with t-cad the future battlefield has arrived a fully robotic battalion capable of identification and surgical neutralization of hostiles in the field this is why biden didn't want to give you your stimulus check because he wanted to take vlogger drones and put grenade launchers and sniper rifles on them instead look at this bro february this dude is driving 200 mil big bags on guns this stuff i mean like again maybe i'm ignorant but all this just blew my mind there's this whole qvc event for selling guns they treat it like complex con they all set up booths and they market drones cars bazookas i mean what is the swag bag like at weapons qvccon what do they send you home with a grenade you can build yourself the golden gun from double 07 they give you a lighter lipstick do they raffle off a literal nuclear missile man i mean this is wild bro look at this it literally looks like best buy i thought all this stuff happened behind closed doors you know i thought transactions like this existed on paper i thought there was some degree of shame with buying and selling [ __ ] that's intended for war but no look at that look at that remember when i said a car commercial here's gm right here you all thought everyone was driving around in the in the new bronco this summer uh uh influencers going straight for this one open everything camera from every angle yeah they even got dogs they sell dogs at this convention mac defense is a wholly owned subsidiary of mack trucks incorporated the famous commercial truck manufacturer mac defense is was formed specifically to go after military and government type contract work you heard it right there folks your favorite truck company that delivers frozen little paddies to mcdonald's and white castle that gives you your food guess what bro they got a subsidiary of war-ready trucks that to me is the crazy part about just the world life bruh there are so many companies that had a little involvement in war just a little bit just a little war hey you could have a little war just as a treat you guys remember that phrase but you guys don't use that anymore night no you you try to say no cap and valid i remember you i remember who you were six months ago not even a minute and 30 seconds into this video and we've seen two corporations that you see out on the street but you know they do a little war on the side that's the part we all forget life bro hey are you entering combat we'll look no further than right here here at warzone we got everything you need bullets cars drones anything you could need down here at war zone that music is so not the right vibe i just cut into some suburban mom testimonial i got my night vision tracking war machine killing drone dog it found my kids in just one minute dragged him straight out of the local high school party right to my front door no hiccups look at this look at this everything in this cage is laid out like weed okay it's got a little sign in front of it at the top air burst munitions all right that's an indica that gives you a little body high that second one extended range cartridges that's sativa that's a head high and right here at the bottom uh less than lethal that's cbd that's the cbd of ammo right there no one is buying that slime the overall theme here is that i'm just very thrown off by how normal this is to all the people involved okay it's just the purpose of the products and the devices they're using we know what they're for however you want to phrase it at the end of the day they're still gonna blow some [ __ ] up and that is just wild to me that people can just get up in suits and walk around and be like oh yeah this thing blows up buildings cool man you take venmo see that shot right there they got to be careful because that right there that could have been easy like two years ago that very well could have been a supreme drop they can't tease with with that right there all the hypebeast saw that swine wait that's military are you sure you're sure that's military you're positive this far into this convention i feel like they're missing you know they got a lot of different cars there you know they got mack trucks they got this subaru car but i you know i think the thing that they are really missing is a mustang because we all know that mustangs go right into people mustangs do everything but park and stay straight then only aim for crowds i'm surprised there isn't a booth of just like suburban teenagers that hate their moms you know just lined up in a booth just like yep he's willing to do anything to anybody he's really pent up he's very angry you could put him in any one of these things in here and this kid's going to do damage oh man i just i just know if any gen z is going to the army they're going to be annoying as hell sitting in an airplane with some very expensive gun like i think i want to put a skin on it i know i know i know i get in so much trouble but dude imagine gold dragon creeping up the side a little navi sticker up top getting balling am i right now i'm picturing a whole bunch of gen z fortnite you know call of duty players in real war but just as annoying let's go let's go two on me i'm cracked i'm correct need rez need rez need rez hey there we know what you're looking for and we got it down here at war zone you and your buds headed out to the desert for a secret mission look no further than warzone we got everything you need blam go get em killer so yeah that's uh that's my weird weapon sales wormhole goodbye [Music]

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 1,064,113

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: l2n5cMB-aZ4

Length: 12min 21sec (741 seconds)

Published: Wed May 26 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/NomineAbAstris]

R2: I don't have any actual criticism as such, I just think it's really funny to see a guy with no interest in/knowledge of the military make fun of objectively hilarious MIC marketing.

I'm just sad he missed the best military ad ever made

[u/IncubusBeyro]

I don’t know which is better, the black mirror drones with ARs earnestly pitched as a replacement for infantry or the general publics understanding of defence industry as seen on Lord Of War…

[u/nobodyuknow187]

Nick Mullen on cumtown once had a bit describing the Raytheon/BAE systems social media pages and it's a feed of posts with their logo with the pride colors or a "women in STEM" blurb with people in the comments thanking the company for the opportunity and being inclusive, and then it's CGI ads like this and guys with profile pics of themselves in their truck with their goatees and Oakley sunglasses saying "HE'LL YEAH BÖRTHER CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM USED ON ISIS OR THE MS13".

[u/badgu]

When you think about it, the arms industry is a really strange economic sector. Most of the interaction happens between the state and the firm (often a state-owned one) with the private individual having little say in it, so it's very much a public sector. But unlike in most public sectors, fame and reputation can be the difference between the product being a flop or a runaway success, so it's heavily advertised and publicized.