Y'all are LONELY

hear that cheers no free brand deals noah blur this out don't show who this is but i do love this drink what's up everybody today's video is just a little something i really want to share with you it's not a crazy conspiracy that i found on tick tock it's not about kids trying to shift reality or taking ketamine in 15 second videos it's nothing that intense it's just amazon reviews on workout equipment past few days i've been looking up gym equipment on amazon and various other websites because i'm just trying to make a little home gym we all know amazon reviews a lot of them are um cap we know they're fake we know it's it's some person doing a thousand a day trying to make 17 just to buy a carton of milk to give their kids cereal we know that's a lot of it but this deep in a global pandemic amazon reviews have they've evolved to kind of be like reddit comments they both have this same feel of like a social networking place for lonely people matter of fact these reviews were bogus enough that someone wanted to sponsor this video because they knew you gotta see this [ __ ] a lot of you know that i used to be an engineer so naturally i'm a big believer in cyber security and i have no problem promoting these guys so i want to give a big shout out and a thank you to nordvpn look if you don't know what a vpn is i'm not going to tell you i mean i will a little bit but you should know how they work matter of fact you should have one if you heard vpn and the only thought that came into your mind was what kind of nerd [ __ ] is that let me tell you it's some nerd [ __ ] that you should have a vpn gives you a lot more security and a lot more privacy when you're on the internet and i've used a bunch but nord is genuinely my favorite vpn i've been using it for a while now their servers are super fast they got 24 7 support and they're just great when you're using public networks if you're at a i don't know starbucks at school whatever you don't want to go raw on the internet you want to have some protection nordvpn is compatible with most operating systems android ios linux windows you know whatever um they got you covered and they don't limit your bandwidth look i know some of you look at some weird ass stuff on the internet i don't know what it is but your internet service provider does so check out nordvpn.com noelle miller they're doing a christmas deal right now they'll give you four months free with a two year plan you should definitely take advantage of that just make sure you use my code noelle miller when you check out and bam that's yours all right now back to what i was saying we all know amazon reviews they've evolved to kind of be like reddit comments they both have this same feel of like a social networking place for lonely people some of these people i can tell they so badly need to get out of the house the amount of honesty the types of things they're saying it's not necessary look at this one solid bench i bought this because of the black plague covet 19. bless you yes y'all hear that sneeze i think my girl got covered hold on i'm gonna need to just i'll be right back my governor doesn't believe in freedom of choice and put shackles on my ankles and i was told that i wasn't allowed to go to the gym is this like andrew cuomo fan fiction like what does this have to do with a workout bench man it is kind of wobbly but i've had better that's what she said nice man made in china so you can't expect great quality just good enough to make it through some chest exercises i rate it a b minus the only important part of that review is just solid bench the quality and the rating bro you should have just left that what's up with all that in between you know the people i'm most concerned about in the future is retail employees as soon as these people are allowed back outside this is what you're gonna hear for 12 14 months straight you're gonna get the same guy coming to your store once a week he's getting vaccinated just to go to complain to you part of my search was bumper plates right i'm just you know i'm a little baby i can't quite dead lift full-on plates yet so i need me some little baby bumper plates and i found this so frequently buyer beware i should have read this better one single item who needs one 10-pound bumper what a crock because we can't return without paying for it and half the cost just [ __ ] buy the other one man but in the time you wrote this you could have just bought the other one and just shut the hell up this one isn't that deep i just liked it gouging hard demand ain't that high buddy you get them chris 21 people found that helpful make that 22 man okay here's one where it's just it's just too much it's just way too much look at this i bought this for my teenage son he wanted to start weight training at home for the times that he didn't have to go to the gym it was super easy to assemble it literally took me five minutes it's a sturdy bench and it's got just the right amount of padding on it he really likes that there are six different positions that the back moves into is this your son is this your son who are you talking about and why this much i like that it's easy to fold up and fits perfectly underneath his bed for storage the amount of incest humor on the internet has just poisoned my ability to look at stuff like this and just view it as genuine he really likes that there are six different positions like are you do you watch him work out and who gives a [ __ ] if it was for your teenage son is it is the bench good or not there's a whole lot of this too just like humble bragging this is for like a rack like to to put up a bar so you could bench first of all one star cheaper than expected gave me my first injury after 20 years of lifting ain't this the generation that like always talks [ __ ] about like participation awards and getting trophies for nothing like this is easy enough to assemble but a lot cheaper than i expected this might be good for adolescents or people not lifting more than 225 pounds you heard that he's talking about you yeah this might be good for like adolescents or you know oh let me let me get my boomer voice i don't even know what a boomer sounds like i just think of dana white yeah this might be good for adolescents or people not lifting more than 225 pounds it's like in between dana white and stone cold the dimensions are terrible for adults over five ten oh oh oh are you a big boy you're a big boy taller than 510 and you with more than 225 pounds oh good for you the squat rack is too low and the bench is too narrow that anyone using a standard grip is going to get their hands caught between the bar and rack this is what happened to me the first day using it very poor oh my god man just shut up you're looking at like a 150 rack what did you expect oh this is a good one ready ready well built but not for tall people at first i was super excited to use this bench and rack but after a few uses i realized its deficiencies i am five nine i thought you said tall buddy i already don't trust this review because your perception is way off i am five nine and the rack is a little too small for my body size no it ain't man it's just right goldilocks here's another dude who's just too big for his keyboard and and the world around him i know this guy aspires to take tren but his wife won't let him do it just the toy for easy curl paren's 48-inch bar bench presses or paren's six feet straight bar like we get it man you curl and bench copy that most reviewers hit it on the spot basically good for low weight bench presses with an easy curl bar high reps low weight is the ticket 125 hashtags should give all the challenge you need to get the chest activated probably stay on the low side of 150 to 200 hashtags he's trying i'm dumb as hell he's trying to say pounds [ __ ] you man 150 to 200 pounds for flat benching is the smartest way to go without a spotter are you a personal trainer man are you giving this away for free you should be charging for this dude [Laughter] when i said earlier that people are lonely this to me is a screaming example of lonely hulk just okay you see the length of this all right i'm so happy i decided to go with this bench instead of the more expensive one i thought i wanted the bench was very easy to assemble and i say that because i have long nails and did it in about 10 to 15 minutes the thickness is just right for me and the material is good also i'm 5'1 and 119 pounds and it fits me perfectly so it's definitely made for fun size people like myself are you good did your tinder gold expire like if you need someone that's cool i just wouldn't suggest looking for it on amazon reviews i don't think you're gonna get much of any real connections you should just go for the real thing all right you ready deep breath on this one too glad i read previous reviews because there was a oily substance on a couple of the weights all had a filmy kind of coating so i wipe them down with water and a rag the weights themselves are very nice the stand however is rubbish it was fairly simple to put together however either the bolts are too long or the nuts are too small either way there is not a tight contact between any of the joints and the stand sways i will be going to the hardware store to try to find different size bolts i'd also read that it was difficult for some to come across the handle of the vet but like wow so much it's so much sometimes i'm surprised these like long-winded reviews don't just taper into something like way too personal you know and then i was me and my wife decided to give it a shot we were both working out things got a little you know and then we start doing it and then well there it goes three quarter bolt flies out of the left hand rack now we're naked on top of a broken bench what do we do now now i gotta put on my clothes with blue balls to fix the bench two and a half stars ten out of ten bench if you ask me some people try stand up sets on here which is you know i'm not above these people i'm i'm one step left i'm using them as materials so i figured i'd give this guy's open mic set a chance you know we can all see if we get a chuckle out of this you all ready i'm gonna try to do this justice by delivering this in the most stand-up way possible okay how we doing how we doing yeah okay fry's in the front row i like it uh you know i've i've actually been trying to work out recently yeah i've been trying to uh you know put my body back together you know pandemic you know you know yeah came into the pandemic a 2007 corvette now i'm at the end of it 1987 corvette i'm falling apart here yeah you know actually i bought these weights recently right and let me tell you you don't want to buy these unless you're in an actual gym or you own a gas mask now just you know for context i keep these weights locked away in an airtight action picker because it's just not possible to make the fumes go away okay i have washed each dumbbell individually and soaked them overnight these things get more attention than my wife i considered roasting them in my fireplace but then realized all the birds and trees in philly would die off in a matter of hours oh he's from philly yeah yo i can't really do a philly accent other than when i'm saying yeah me and my boys are doing coke in the bathroom this is so stupid why did i think i could overcome the fumes because they were cheap huh he's got a little bit of seinfeld vibe going here probably it's really a dumb idea to order something that's practically implausible to return why would you buy something you can't return something like that should come with a contract i'm struggling to really do a good seinfeld impression here but i can see i can see this being the premise for a seinfeld bit oh yeah this rack they sent with these puppies good luck without a drill and a wrench see now we're finding our voice in the middle of the set i don't really know if i did it justice but i definitely had fun imagining this is seinfeld now just beyond the reviews going to the actual like products there's a couple things i noticed one when shopping for a workout bench there is way too much eye contact between the model and the camera like i mean way too much way too much eye contact why is every single dude looking at me i don't know what's worse between these pictures those paul ryan fitness modeling shots or these all of these are man that's sad eddie munster got rid of his uh his widow's peak it's too bad he felt pressured to do that hey look it's sam this is the final boss at a frat if you make it through like i don't know 14 keg stands you got to go against this guy also man this is a this is a weirder thing to notice but the photoshop jobs on all these shots is atrocious look at the bench and then look at this dude how big is this bench or how little is this dude you know what i mean like i'm a small guy i've never appeared this small on a bench i promise you i know you think i would but this is the one this is the one right here punching on this one noah look how his right leg is toddler size but his left leg is grown man size this is some elf on the shelf type [ __ ] right here they just don't even care look his foot ain't even on that it's borderline disrespectful look at the aliasing on this [ __ ] i'm struggling for material here look at this one they're not even trying with this one his foot isn't even in the same resolution as the bench just not even in the same dimension also because i've been looking up all this fitness equipment i keep getting ads for the thera gun on instagram theragun stop doing ads with feet you got one too many ads of women and people using the theragun on each other's feet it's not necessary we know what the theragun does you don't have to sexualize it in any way i like this picture right here suitable for all kinds of people as long as you're white anyway yeah that's it i saw these things and i thought they were funny so i wanted to share them with you if you're not subscribed to the channel please do so i got a few more things coming out uh thank you for watching hot laps by the way another episode of that will be out very soon and yeah i'll see you on the next one peace

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 1,410,103

Rating: 4.9733124 out of 5

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: OcGcpS-9qXU

Length: 14min 58sec (898 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 23 2020