The Ultimate Christmas Pitch Meeting

I was told you had a movie idea for me yes sir I do see last month my wife and my brother went on vacation together alone oh my god I'm so sorry know what don't be sorry they accidentally forgot me at home are you sure that's what happened well yeah of course whales would they not bring me on a vacation to Paris all right I mean okay and so you know I got to be home all alone that's that's that's that's great buddy it was great I ate candy I watched movies I went grocery shopping all by myself okay to be honest I'm not getting what the movie idea is and I'm getting a little sad right so I was thinking if I'm having such an amazing time imagine if this happened to an eight-year-old kid you want to make a movie where the child's wife cheats on him what no no I want a kid to be accidentally left at home while his family goes on vacation I guess my question is how would that ever happen well his family leaves on a vacation and they don't realize he's not with them yeah but okay it just seems like a really really really really improbable thing oh yeah yeah I'm well aware okay so well I was doing some research and there's this thing and storytelling called the suspension of disbelief was that they say that the audience sacrifices realism and logic for the sake of enjoyment oh so the audience will kind of just overlook unrealistic things right so I think if we exploit that to like an extreme level we're good huh interesting so I think I figured out like the perfect storm of unrealistic coincidences to get this premise off the ground all right you got me I'm listening okay so first off the kid has to be part of a huge family like it has to be big enough that you wonder if they've ever heard of birth control plus some uncles and cousins can be there too they also all have to be really mean to the kid so he can wish that they would disappear then they also have to accidentally throw his plane ticket in the trash then they also have to make him sleep in the Attic so they don't see him when they're leaving there also has to be a huge storm the night before the departure that knocks out the phone line so they can't contact him when they're gone that storm also has to knock out the power that way their alarms can shut off in the night and they wake up late for their flight also the kid needs to sleep so heavily that he doesn't hear 15 people running around and yelling there also has to be a random little kid that shows up at the exact moment they're doing a headcount so they can get it wrong then we have to have nobody think of him even a little bit until they're mid-flight so they really have to be like an awful family have to be the worst family oh yeah also then the kid has to wake up and think he's magic because he wished that they disappeared and they did wouldn't he just make the connection that they were supposed to leave on a trip that morning you'd think so but if we have him not understand what an airport shuttle is he can look at their cars and be like there's no way they could have gotten to the airport without those so he thinks he magically erased his family from existence right so just to be clear we need to have all those extremely unlikely scenarios play out one after the other just to get this kid alone at home by himself that's right and this some suspension suspension of disbelief right with that people will just be okay with all of that apparently yeah all of that all of that yeah pretty cool right well then awesome so tell me more about this kid Kevin McCallister well you know how his family is the worst yeah I imagine he's like the only nice one in the family oh no he's also the worst oh he is yeah he calls his mom a dummy and he's really snarky with everyone he's also unable to pack a suitcase like it's the end of the world for him to do that and how does he get over the trauma of the situation the trauma well I mean in Kevin's mind he's essentially just killed his family with a wish I imagine that's gonna be hard for him to come to terms with actually super easy barely an inconvenience really well I probably should have mentioned before that Kevin is a psychopath oh oh yeah we're talking complete disregard for the physical and emotional well-being of everyone he comes across in his life and he talks to himself kind of a lot so he's happy that they're dead he's thrilled he has a little eyebrow celebration thing and then he does all the exact same stuff I did when I was home alone except I didn't shave does anything else happen or do we just watch a kid go crazy at home by himself well I'm glad you asked because that's where things get really interesting how's that well it turns out that two burglars have their hearts set on breaking into the McCallister house so why this house in particular one of them mentioned something about it probably having some VCRs VCRs are great and they always will be so these guys think that the house is empty because they've been casing the joint oh no but Kevin finds out that they want to break in so he calls the cops no well eventually eventually why not right away because of the psychopath thing oh I don't get it well the bandits break in but Kevin is like some kind of genius like he set up a bunch of intricate death traps that they walk into one by one but said the kid was freaked out about packing a suitcase like that was too much oh right and now he's like a death trap engineer yeah no that's a mistake I'll change the suitcase thing that doesn't make any sense man it's probably fine you sure it's no problem I could change it to something that makes the whole deathtrap engineer make sense now keep the suitcase thing it's all good okay so he's too stupid to pack a suitcase but he's great at traps so what happens with the robbers well they somehow survived a bunch of very very fatal injuries Wow yeah and in the middle of the robbery it seems like they forget that they wanted to rob the house and now they just want to murder this child it becomes about murder it seems that way because that a certain point Kevin just leaves them alone in the house and they don't take anything just focusing on the kid no more VCRs yep so at the end they get arrested because they tried to break in and murder a child it's very dark and then overnight he manages to clean up all the traps including some stairs covered in tar and then his family comes back the next day and immediately ignore him again hmm what do you think well I think it might have some potential but but it's missing something some kind of big selling point do you have anything in mind well we could try the Christmas play I mean that rarely works but what's that that's when you make a movie take place at Christmas time even if it has almost nothing to do with Christmas time so people think oh this is a Christmas movie I have to watch it exactly without work if I just add in a couple of random Christmas elements well it's certainly not gonna be a Christmas classic but it's worth a shot so you have a home alone sequel script for me yes sir I do and it only took me like 20 minutes to put together how is that possible well I just took every single story beat and plot point from the first movie and made them all a little more intense or elaborate oh that's smart cuz people liked the first movie they gave me money to see it right so I figure they'd pay us a bunch of money to see it again but different I love it already so how are we kicking things up a notch well instead of being alone at home this time Kevin is gonna be alone in New York City Oh New York City is much bigger than a home I thought so too so how does Kevin end up alone in NYC well the family's planning on heading down to Florida for Christmas but the dad accidentally unplugs the alarm clock the night before they leave so they have to rush to the airport again they have one alarm clock for a house of 14 people then they don't double check it before bed that's what we're going with stretching that suspension of disbelief real thin yes I am Wow so anyway everybody's running through the airport and Kevin tells his dad hey Dad I need batteries for my top boy recorder thing so the dads like I'll give you the batteries on the plane we're extremely late and this is not a priority at all noé hands Kevin a bag that has his wallet and some cash in it there's no way anyone would actually do that though I know but this way Kevin will have some spending money in New York okay so we're taking another little break from logic so that can happen oh yeah we're gonna take a lot of those kinds of breaks I guess we'll have to and so Kevin gets separated from his family and follows someone he thinks is is that onto the wrong plane isn't it hard for him to get past airport employees and security actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah the airport people just kind of take Kevin's word for it that his dad's on that plane I didn't realize how laid-back airport security was yeah well it's the early 90s right now so airport security isn't that much of a concern yet fair enough vaguely ominous statements about the future are tight yeah guess that was pretty weird of me so how does Kevin not realize that he's not on the same plane as his family well his mom said that because it's Christmas time they couldn't get seats together they were lucky to even be on the same flight so how is there an empty seat for him on the New York plane I don't know very nuf so yeah then Kevin's gonna get to New York and the fun's gonna begin Wow so what does he do oh he's gonna go to a fancy hotel and commit a bunch of credit-card fraud and identity theft to get a room oh my god but like in a cute way okay good yeah but this one concierge thinks the whole thing is super suspicious oh so he stops Kevin before he goes up to the room no later he's gonna sneak into Kevin's room oh he is yeah well he wants to confirm his suspicions that Kevin is alone in there so best-case scenario in this guy's mind he's breaking into a child's room and finding that child all alone well it sounds creepy when you say it like that I think it sounds creepy any way you say it cuz it's super creepy maybe and what else happens in New York oh well Kevin's gonna have to deal with some bad guys again I guess the city is a perfect place to introduce some wacky new criminals well actually I was thinking it could be Harry and Marv from the first movie but weren't they arrested in Chicago yeah yeah so how would that even be possible well they escaped from prison and got onto a fish truck that ended up in New York City on the same day that Kevin McCallister arrived my disbelief is so suspended right now yeah and they keep crossing paths with Kevin on the street so eventually Harry's like that's the kid that sent us to jail they keep crossing paths with him yeah you know how you always just kind of come across the same people in New York that almost never happens there are like seven million people in New York oh I thought there were like 200 you thought there were 200 people living in New York City yeah now you're telling me 7 million this whole thing seems pretty far-fetched won't this kind of be covered by the whole suspension of disbelief thing I don't know I have people running into each other kind of a lot oh you do yeah Kevin keeps running into the same crazy bird lady Marv gets hit in the face twice by the same lady on separate occasions how does that happen well later Marvin Harry managed to grab Kevin right okay and so to escape Kevin pinches of random ladies but and it turns out to be the same exact woman that Marv had sexually harassed earlier that day wow what are the odds of that well I thought they were one in 200 right anyway so Marvin Harry's big plan is to rob this place called Duncan's toy store and then fly away to an island pretty horrible plan but then Kevin decides to save Christmas by stopping them okay and then he lures them to his uncle's house that's undergoing renovations and he has a bunch of traps set up for them Oh some clever traps yeah but also you know just throwing bricks at their faces from the roof oh my god yeah Marv is gonna take like five bricks to the face that's incredibly intense it is and then inside the house we're gonna have a bunch of super deadly traps that defy physics but somehow Marvin Harry just don't die how do they survive all that stuff well we're gonna have this big reveal where you find out that Harry and Marv are actually immortal what yeah so we're gonna have this psychopath kid trying to murder these two immortal beings but they're just not dying I'm not sure I like the reveal of them being immortal beings so what you want Kevin to successfully kill them no I'd say keep all the deadly traps just take out the reveal but there's no way they can survive any of that without being immortal it's literally the only explanation that makes sense yeah I'm just not a fan of it okay and how does the movie end well Kevin's entire family's gonna fly up to see him what happened to that whole thing about it being impossible to get plane tickets on Christmas well that line was at the beginning of the movie so I'm hoping people are gonna forget we said it Oh fingers crossed and then Kevin's dad is gonna see like a $900 hotel bill and lose his mind and then he just fly 14 people across the country twice why is he mad about $900 so we can have this fun ending where he yells in the hotel room and Kevin hears him all the way in park the dad yells in the hotel and Kevin hears him in Central Park yeah he does no he doesn't yeah he does that's not possible it's a funny ending get off my back but it doesn't make any sense my back is where you are and I'd love for you to vacate the premises okay well I'm at least gonna try to get the Plaza Hotel so at the very least the hotel will be right across from Central Park oh you think you can get the Plaza Hotel yeah apparently if you give the owner a cameo you can use any of his buildings for your movies it's like this ego thing that he has wait who owns the Plaza Hotel so you have a Christmas movie for me yes sir I do it's gonna be about this guy named Scott Calvin who you know kill Santa Claus oh my god yeah I know but hear me out okay so Scott and his son Charlie here's somebody stomping around on the roof on Christmas Eve right oh is it Santa Claus is Santa Claus and he's being real loud you think that people at other houses would have heard him too if he's so loud delivering presents yeah you'd think so but people at other houses aren't the protagonists of this movie right so Scott runs outside and sees Santa on the rooftop and he thinks he's being robbed so he kills him with a gun come on man no he doesn't yeah yeah yeah he shoots some dead we can't have the main character murder Santa Claus in the first act of our movie you guys have characters get killed in the first act all the time I mean why is it okay for Bambi's mom to be killed but not Santa Claus because we don't have the protagonist be the killer like Bambi's not the one that shot his mom okay yeah that's a good point so what if Scott just startled Santa and he falls off the roof and died still kind of responsible well Scott kind of has to be responsible because the whole thing is that he's gonna take Santa's place is there a way we can lighten it up a little more maybe a little hand way from Santa and he disappears okay yes sure so we'll have Santa's dead arm reanimate for a second and then his corpse will vanish from this realm this is still super dark now with the hand wave be like a post-mortem spasm or is he really back from the dead okay let's just move on please well okay then so what happens next do they call an ambulance well no cuz the corpse vanished right but we're gonna find out that if Santa Claus dies and you put on his clothes you become Santa Claus wait that's all it takes yeah pretty crazy right people thought that Santa Claus was just a guy but it turns out it's like a thing that's passed on to new hosts through magic but what would happen if like a meth-head killed Santa and put on his clothes I guess we'd have to hope that the meth head has a lot of Christmas spirit I guess so so then Scott and Charlie are gonna deliver a bunch of presents together and then go to the North Pole Oh what happens there well a bunch of elves are there and they're all like oh hey I guess you're the new Santa Claus what's up don't they care that the other Santa Claus just died not even a little bit oh my god I didn't know that elves were so heartless yeah it makes you realize that when Scott eventually dies they're not gonna care either nothing matters to them geez that is dark yeah well they've been alive for so long that they clearly must not feel any attachment to human life anymore why did they even make presents then I don't know what about mrs. Claus she must be sad that he's dead right well we're not gonna mention her so either she was already dead or the elves tossed her out into the cold when the old Santa died well my lord anyway so then Scott accidentally flirts with an elderly child and falls asleep what and then he wakes up at home and kind of brushes the whole thing off as a dream okay but then slowly he starts to physically turn into Santa Claus what do you mean well like he has to go to this meeting at work in sweatpants cuz he suddenly gained a bunch of weight what's the meeting about it's just this meeting where they're kind of pitching Christmas ads Oh pitch meetings are tight yeah and so even though his coworkers order salad Scott orders a bunch of sweets so that's part of his Santa transformation just eating sweet stuff non-stop yeah because that's one of the things that people love about Santa Claus you know his crippling sugar addiction oh I didn't know that so then Scott starts to put on a bunch of weight because of his horrible eating habits so wait why does Santa have to be a fat guy because that's what Santa looks like right but the whole thing is that Santa isn't one guy it's a job that's passed on from person to person right so what's the purpose of the unhealthy weight gain if it's just a job where somebody has to deliver presents that's just how Santa's supposed to look so you're changing some elements of the mythology but keeping others at random oh it's not random it's so we can make fat jokes oh okay gotcha and so Charlie's mom Laura and her boyfriend Neal are on a mission to prove to Charlie that Santa's not real pretty mean to destroy a kid's dreams like that yeah and they're gonna make Scott lose visitation rights with his son jeez these people are awful yeah yeah but if Santa does exist that means that Laura and Neal would suddenly see new presents under the tree every Christmas morning yeah well that's not enough for them to believe in Santa apparently well if that's not enough it's going to be impossible to Vince them actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah they stopped believing in Santa when they were young because they didn't get the toys they asked for so Scott gets them those toys how come the Santa Claus that was in charge when they were young didn't give them what they wanted maybe they had to met thatx anta back then I don't know fair enough anyway we're also gonna have this elf Bernard that teleports into their home to get Scott and Charlie wait elves can teleport into people's homes yeah pretty cool right then wouldn't it make more sense for them to teleport inside people's homes to deliver presents well that Santa's job you silly producer he flies on the sleigh and goes down the chimneys but I mean why would that responsibility land on him if the elves can do it a hundred times better I don't know fair enough and so yeah eventually Scott fully embraces his new job as Santa and so does everybody else Wow so what do you think any thoughts on who should play Scott Calvin well ideally somebody that's kid-friendly you know not somebody with a dark past or anything oh I know just the guy oh yeah yeah Tim Allen oh yeah he'd be great and he's clean yeah I mean there was a little thing where he spent two years in jail cuz he got caught with a pound and a half of cocaine at an airport what so you have a movie for me yes sir I do it's called The Nightmare Before Christmas oh is that a Christmas movie or a Halloween movie yes what so the movie follows this guy Jack Skellington in this place called Halloween town and what's Jack's deal well basically he's the pumpkin King and he works one day a year but he's bored of it you know he feels like something's missing and people are supposed to empathize with this guy like he's the main character yeah people love listening to privileged people complain about their privileged lives that's a good point my mates love hearing me talk about wealth management problems I get it that sounds amazing yeah it is anyway so one day jack stumbles upon some doorways to all the other holidays except those from different cultures those are the weird holidays yes super weird so anyway we have doorways to Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day and st. Patrick's Day what would be behind the st. Patrick Stage Door a bunch of drunk Bostonians wearing green I don't know what about the Thanksgiving door just a bunch of dead birds and potatoes could be and what about the Valentine's Day door just a bunch of people drinking the blood of the innocent and eating elk hearts oh I think you're celebrating Valentine's Day wrong Am I yeah sure sounds that way always did feel a little off I'm gonna look into that please do so anyway what happens next well Jack is gonna fall through this portal thing to Christmas town and he's just gonna fall in love with everything he sees he's gonna sing a song about it - what kind of stuff does he sing about what like he doesn't know what snow is right so he's like what's this there's white stuff in the air oh that's fun yeah and he's like wow kids are throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads but you just said he doesn't know what snow is whoops whoops say so anyway then he's gonna head back to Halloweentown how does he get back unclear Wow but he's super pumped about Christmas now you know he could barely contain himself so what does he do what what do you do when you find something that you like but it's not yours I take it exactly so Jack's gonna be like you know what we're doing this Christmas thing now cuz I enjoyed it so it's mine now Oh cultural appropriation is tight yeah he's gonna force everybody in town to prepare for Christmas even though nobody understands what it is including Jack he's like a tyrant but there's this girl Sally that lives in Halloweentown and she thinks it's a bad idea what Sally's deal well she's kind of like a Frankenstein monster right she was made by this mad scientist dude okay and we're gonna have this funny recurring thing where she keeps on trying to poison him when she makes his soup oh well I guess if he doesn't have anyone else around to make the soup he has to put up with it well there is a dude who calls a master who suddenly shows up later in the movie so why doesn't he get him to make the soup I guess he really likes Sally sue fair enough I know I'd risk dying for a good bowl of soup so yeah throughout the movie Sally's gonna be basically stalking Jack because she's in love with him very romantic yeah he totally doesn't realize it and when she does talk to him he just ignores her incredibly romantic and she has this premonition that his christmas plans are gonna go super wrong Oh does she have psychic abilities apparently I mean we never bring it up before or after she talks about her vision and interesting so anyway jack is gonna hire these obviously evil little kids to go kidnap Santa Claus rude and they're immediately gonna come back with the Easter Bunny instead oh so they go back and fetch Santa exactly Wow over 30 days later what so anyway then jack is gonna go out and deliver Christmas presents that are just horrifying and ruin everything right that definitely sounds like it would ruin Christmas and so the military is gonna shoot his sleigh out of the sky and everyone in Halloween town's gonna be like oh no Jack is dead oh is he dead well he was already dead so what are they all worried about that he was blown to bits so it's bad if he gets blown into pieces well not really because at the beginning of the movie he takes his own head off laughs so I don't understand what the problem is here me neither so anyway Jack's gonna be like I can't believe this didn't work out Wow so I imagine he's really gonna have to face the music for what he did not at all well is it gonna have a hard time getting home now that the sleigh blew up no it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah he's just gonna walk into the first grave he sees and that leads him home somehow that's super convenient so all graves lead to Halloweentown please stop asking questions about my world building fair enough so how does the movie end well Jack's gonna fight a big bag of bugs that's holding Santa captive sure that may as well happen and then he's gonna get the girl Sally yeah yeah yeah the girl he's been ignoring the entire movie yeah he suddenly wants her so he takes her so he really hasn't learned anything or faced any consequences for his actions none because of the privilege that does help you get away with a lot of stuff so what do you think of the movie well it sounds great and if it does well we can make a sequel no no no sequels I don't want some cash grab B second movie oh but cash grabbing is tight yeah but doing a second one is just greedy and it cheapens the first one all right I got you we won't do another movie you promise I promise we will not make a sequel film so you have a Christmas movie for me yes sir I do so the main character is this guy named Howard and he's a workaholic Oh a workaholic at Christmastime that can't be good right so he accidentally spends too much time selling mattresses and has to rush to his kids karate class that he promised he'd be at oh is he gonna make it oh he's too late he walks into an empty gym like I didn't make it did he not notice the completely empty parking lot I guess not huh so then he goes home and you know bribes his son he bribes his son he does he's like hey I'll buy you the turbo man doll you want for Christmas if you stop being mad at me for being a bad dad that's a pretty good deal actually but then his wife is like yeah I told you to get that doll like two weeks ago did you not get it and he's like of course I did yes silly wife Wow so this guy is a goddamn liar yeah a compulsive one so then he has to find this toy on Christmas Seaver he's gonna get caught in his lie okay and so yeah what that's it that's the movie that's the whole premise yeah yeah yeah pretty cool right I guess but it seems pretty thin there's nothing else going on oh well also his neighbor Ted is trying really hard to bang his wife so we're gonna check in on that from time to time oh wow that's pretty intense for a kid's movie yeah real intense but I guess if the white it's kind of falling for Ted in a way than it could show that Howard might lose her yeah no she's not into Ted at all she's kind of weirded out by him and at the end of the movie she hits him for trying something so we're gonna have an entire side story where the neighbor is trying to bang the wife but there's no risk of that actually happening exactly did you just throw that in there to pad the runtime oh you got me there was only so much I could do with the storyline of trying to make a purchase fair enough and so what kind of stuff does happen Howard as he tries to buy the toy well just a whole bunch of scenes that all end in violence every scene ends in violence pretty much see I never learned how to write endings to things so every interaction ends in some kind of physical attack well at least it's consistent yes so anyway Howard is gonna go to a store where there's a huge crowd of people waiting to rush in when the doors open okay and he's gonna meet a crazy mailman Myron who goes on a huge rant about how toy companies are brainwashing us through screens Oh screen rants are tight yeah and then he chokes a random woman he chokes a woman I didn't know how to end his rant oh so it just gets violent I got you and then the doors open and it just gets crazy everybody runs around and fights each other so how it goes up to an employee to ask about the turbo man doll and everybody in the store starts to laugh at him why well because turbo man is sold out and everybody knows it if everybody knew that what were they all rushing in for I don't know the store seems to be fully stocked up on everything else huh so later they find out that another store got a late shipment and they're doing a lottery with a bunch of bouncy balls for some reason okay and instead of trying to grab one of the many balls bouncing around the store Howard chases one specific one outside of the store not the best strategy definitely not and then a little girl grabs it and Howard gets mistaken for a pedophile and this is a kids movie it is so then Howard grabs a little girl and a bunch of mothers start to hit him with their purses because they think he's gonna sexually assault this child oh my lord and then this mall Santa says that he has a turbo man toy so Howard follows him to a warehouse where everybody's dressed like Santa why would they all be dressed like Santa if they're working inside a warehouse so the scene can end with Howard fighting a bunch of Santa's oh I gotcha so at least we have fun set pieces for the violence yeah and then the cops are gonna burst in oh man it's gonna be hard for him to get out of that situation actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah he just grabs a toy badge and impersonate a police officer isn't that a felony technically in Minnesota it's a gross misdemeanor so he'd only go to jail for a year okay anyway so then they find out that a radio station is giving away the toy interesting so they head over there and Howard busts one of their doors man this guy is on a crime spree you have no idea so then mine threatens the cops with a fake bomb so they can escape oh my god but then it turns out it was a real bomb and it explodes oh so the police officers died no if I understand correctly a bomb can go off in your hands and it'll just kind of paint your face black oh bombs aren't dangerous no they'll ruin your clothes though good to know and so how does the movie end well Howard is gonna get chased by the cops at a parade because of all the crimes he did that makes sense and then he's gonna accidentally get put in a turbo man costume that has a working jet pack oh that's a world-changing invention and then Myron is gonna dress up like turbo man's nemesis and try to murder Howard's kid to take his toy what it's gonna be a whole thing and then Myron is gonna get arrested because of the terrorism and the attempted murder well thank goodness and then I figured I should throw in a nice Christmas moment so Howard's son is gonna give the doll to Myron won't that just end up in some evidence Locker probably Wow and so what's this movie called anyway Oh nobody told me I was supposed to come up with a title that's okay we'll just slap some generic Christmas line on there do you think people will mind that it's gonna have nothing to do with the movie no it's fine we'll just grab a line from some Christmas song everybody loves like dashing through the snow or maybe hey guys it's Ryan here hope you enjoyed that Fitch meeting we have a lot more of these on the channel that you can check out you could also let me know in the comments section what other movies you'd like to see these pitches for don't forget to like and comment and share and subscribe and as always check back soon for a new one bye

Channel: Screen Rant

Views: 2,241,325

Rating: 4.9307513 out of 5

Keywords: Screen Rant, ScreenRant, Ryan George, Pitch Meetings, Christmas Pitch Meetings, Holiday Pitch Meetings, Christimas Movies, Holiday Movies, home alone, home alone 2, christmas with the kranks, the grinch, jingle all the way, the santa clause, the nightmare before christmas

Id: YwI11NyhlP8

Length: 26min 0sec (1560 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 23 2019