CATS Pitch Meeting

so you have a movie for me yes sir I do I was thinking we can make the musical cats into a movie that's a recognizable property so I'm all ears well I'm mostly not ears I just have the two right so tell me about this thing I don't know anything about the musical well the movies gonna start and we're gonna meet this cat named Victoria so far so good there's already a cat in the movie so she gets abandoned in an alley and gets surrounded by a bunch of other cats even better more cats get them in here and so they start singing Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats Jellicle exactly the song goes like because Jellico's can Angelico's do Jellicle z' do Angelica's can right right right but what is Jellicle mean those Jellico's they can and they do so they do and they can they're Jellicle is it like short Ferb Angelika like an angelic or something no it's justa Jellicle Jellicle Jellicle Jellicle you're just gonna keep saying the word Jellicle over and over again with no explanation that's right we're just gonna keep saying the made-up word Jellicle did not provide any context or explanation oh very confusing at one point in the movie one of the cats is gonna tell another cat you truly are a Jellicle cat well well that sounds like a nice moment or a completely neutral one I don't know I don't know either Wow so then we're gonna find out that all these cats are competing for a prize because there's a Jellicle moon no so the the moon is Jellicle too now of course the moon is Jellicle I just wish you could provide literally any explanation well I'm not gonna the moon is Jellicle and you're gonna have to deal with that fair enough so what's this prize that they're competing for death oh my god a sweet release of death so they can be reincarnated and start a new life that's extremely dark all these cats want to die oh they would just love to die yeah for sure so what's like the plot of the movie we're gonna introduce some cats right right okay so you know that's pretty much it oh that's it we're just we're introducing cat exactly a cat will show up and sing about its one defining trait and then disappear for the rest of the movie and that's how the actual cat's musical is pretty much you know it sounds like that's not gonna translate super well to the big screen like maybe it exists in the right medium right now and we don't have to try to squeeze a movie out of it we could just let the art be musical made four billion dollars I mean we have to try to squeeze a movie out of that for sure I thought so too so what kind of cats are we gonna meet well there's this one fat cat named bustopher jones right right and he's gonna sing a song about how he's fed and his name is bustopher jones and that's it that's it plus he's gonna get in the groin a couple times that is comedic it certainly is sir I also thought we could get Jason Derulo to play one of the cats okay but he's gonna want to modify the lyrics a bit you think he's gonna want to say Jason Derulo out loud for sure oh yeah that guy loves saying his own name we're gonna have to fight him on that I think what are some of the other cats well there's this other large cat named Jenny any dots and what's her deal he has some mice slaves that she forces to dance and they have the faces of human children oh my god she also eats a bunch of cockroaches with human faces that I'll scream for their lives as they're being devoured that sounds horrifying yeah it'll be slightly horrifying for sure yeah and what about the actual cats oh we're gonna make them horrifying - oh absolutely they're gonna look like if snapchat filters came to life and had an extreme thirst for blood Oh cats with haunting faces are tight say sir our sir let me tell you all these cats are gonna move their shoulders like this the whole time Wow okay what's that about oh these are seductive shoulder movements oh you're saying that's like an attractive thing that you're doing right now yeah there's definitely an unspoken seduction thing going on with you know every cat they're gonna rub themselves on each other their tails are gonna twitch they're gonna come close to kissing a couple times I feel just so very uncomfortable anyway we're also gonna meet an old lady cat and her name is old Deuteronomy I've never owned a cat but I assume that's a pretty standard name for one so Deuteronomy runs this thing called the Jellicle ball and she chooses which cat's gonna be reborn her I mean most of the things in that sentence were real words so no complaints here but there's also a mean cat you should know about Oh a mean cat huh what's his normal name well his name's Macavity and he wants to be chosen as the cat that's reborn why because that works so what does he do well he uses his magic to cheat oh this cat is magic yeah this cat is magic so he teleports some cats onto like a boat barge thing so they can't compete anymore a very bad cat a very bad cat so at the end of the Jellicle ball he's like the only candidate left so he's like Deuteronomy choose me for death which is a normal thing to want now you're getting it I don't I'm not No so Deuteronomy is like I will never choose you as the Jellicle jelly Jellicle Jellicle cat get out of here you stupid Wow sure okay so then Macavity teleports her to the barge - and thinks since this cat is magic and powerful he would like his life and not want to be reborn well he doesn't like it for some reason well okay then so it was gonna be hard to get the cat's back from the barge actually it's gonna be super easy barely inconvenient oh really yet could see there's another magic cat and his name is mr. Mistoffelees he's a good guy oh the cat's a magician he's the magician so he uses actual magic to solve the one problem that's arisen this whole movie Wow well thank God certain cats are magic it's extremely helpful for the story for sure so who does the old cat choose to be welcomed by the sweet embrace of death oh well there's this other cat named Grizabella okay and the whole movie she just wants to be part of the gang but everybody's really mean to her like all the good guy cats everybody except Victoria so then Grizabella sings everybody is song about memories and she's so emotional that like half a gallon of snot pours from her nose to her mouth oh it sounds distracting oh it will be Wow and so all the other cats are like well wow that was a great song and they finally accept her oh that's so sweet so then it's time for her to die oh right oh my god yes she's been Jellicle e chosen at the Jellicle ball under the Jellicle moon so she's finally accepted by the other cats and gets the life she wanted and the reward for that is dying and getting a new life that's right so they shove her in a chandelier that's also a hot air balloon and she flies up into the Sun to her impending doom Wow okay I don't understand any of this and then old Deuteronomy stares into the camera and speaks to the audience for three minutes straight why does she do that well she's like now you understand cats I truly don't I've never been more confused in my life she also says cats are not dogs I mean are they though I don't know anything anymore oh that is such a Jellicle thing to say is it I just I feel completely insane I've lost my sanity it's gone Jellicle Jellicle Jellicle what is that word what is that so what do you think of the movie sir well to be completely honest it all sounds extremely Jellicle oh I agree did I just say Jellicle why did I say Jellicle the Jellicle hypnosis has taken effect oh man why do I feel so Jellicle right now I need like a hundred million Jellicle dollars to make this Jellicle movie okay sounds Jellicle to me do you think we'll make that Jellicle money back hey guys it's Ryan here hope you like that pitch meeting there are over a hundred episodes of pitch meeting on the channel that you can check out I also have some other videos on there so click around also let me know in the comments section what other movies you'd like to see these pitches for don't forget to hit the like button the subscribe button the bell button the button button I don't know thanks for watching guys - see you next time

Channel: Screen Rant

Views: 3,188,917

Rating: 4.9604201 out of 5

Keywords: Cats, musical, digital fur, scary, taylor swift, ian mckellan, judi dench, jason derulo, james corden, rebel wilson, cat, cockroaches, mice, jennifer hudson, memories, bad, review, cats review, cats 2019, worst movies of 2019, worst movies ever, digital fur technology, cats vfx, cats cgi, uncanny valley, jellicle, jellicle cats, what is jellicle, Funny, super easy barely an inconvenience, ryan george, screen rant, screenrant

Id: XsNAu72v2Yc

Length: 6min 37sec (397 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 28 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/cj2211]

Highly recommend the game of thrones pitch meeting, Maybe one of the funniest ones

[u/toodlebuggle]

"Why?"

"Because-"

"That works."

[u/Bonestacker]

I feel like he has everything that makes for a pretty face, but I don’t like it.

Is this just gelical jealousy?

[u/Zebba_Odirnapal]

And yet they used CGI to remove the genital bulges from the male cat actors’ skin tight cat suits. Because they didn’t want the movie to be creepy.

[u/LucretiusCarus]

That was amazing. And sounds like a pretty decent description of what happens in the movie.

[u/[deleted]]

I don’t think I even need to watch the movie anymore

[u/PM_ME_UR_RESPECT]

That was amazing, love this dude’s videos.

[u/mindbleach]

Jesus, fuck this guy's thumbnails.

[u/Hazzman]

OK executives.

You chose to make this movie in order to cash in on a recognizable IP.

It bombed. Not only did it bomb, it was terrible.

Have you learned your lesson?

Executive: