The Ultimate Batman Pitch Meeting Compilation

so you have a batman movie for me yes sir i do amazing george clooney's gonna be really excited to make another one oh no no no no no no no no no no no no uh you don't want a batman and robin sequel no i was thinking we could do batman's origin story but dark and gritty it's a guy that dresses up like a bat to fight crime though it's not really the kind of thing we can make dark and gritty of course we can how so well for starters by casting a very serious british actor with a temper oh yeah that is a good start yeah so anyway at the beginning of the movie we're gonna have a young bruce wayne fall into a well and get traumatized by bats oh no yeah he's gonna have nightmares and his dad's gonna be like oh man it's the bats again isn't it ah poor little bruce yeah so then his parents bring him to an opera with just a bunch of bats in it wow that is pretty inconsiderate yeah so then he asks if they can leave and both his parents get shot in the alley oh my god so as you can imagine bruce grows up with fear being a big part of his life the fear of guys and allies with guns no the fear of bats oh i kind of thought that watching someone murder his parents in an alley would trump the bat thing but okay no no no the tiny flying mammals are what spooked him the most well okay then so then a bunch of years later this guy ducard wants to recruit him into the league of shadows so he can be a ninja ninjas are you sure this is a dark and gritty film yeah no they're like serious ninjas if you say so so then bruce and descartes kind of skate around on an ice rink and play hide and seek together oh and so then bruce is a ninja almost but first descartes is like hey execute this criminal real quick oh these are some serious ninjas i know right but then bruce is gonna say i'm not gonna be an executioner you doofus get out of here with that nonsense so what does he do well instead of killing the guy he you know makes the entire building explode oh my god what yeah he just blows the entire place to hell but what if people die oh they do die oh they do yeah the leader rosal ghoul dies and a bunch of other guys get ragdolled around a lot of ninjas die so what the hell was that thing about not being an executioner he just killed a bunch of people no he didn't kill them the explosion did i guess that makes sense anyway so then he's gonna save descartes from falling off a cliff and head back to gotham wow so he's like a rogue ninja yeah basically and he hates crime and what does he do in gotham well he's gonna embrace his fear and become batman oh okay i guess it's good that his childhood fear wasn't the alleyway murderer guy yeah or instead of batman he would have been alleyway murder man definitely less cool so he's gonna go see this guy fox that works at wayne enterprises okay and it turns out that fox has a bunch of cool superhero gadgets lying around that he's been working on because of reasons that's very convenient for his plan of becoming a superhero yeah so bruce is gonna get a cool costume and a bunch of gadgets oh yeah yeah he's gonna get some cool explosive things and what does he use those for he's gonna throw them at some cops that are chasing him and make their car flip what that could have easily killed them yeah but it's not gonna right but he couldn't have known that if a car flips there's a good chance that someone could die but nobody's gonna be killed so it's okay okay man batman's also gonna become friends with this cop jim gordon okay and they're gonna have these little chats together throughout the movie oh they are yeah like gordon's gonna put out the trash at home and batman is just waiting outside for him wait so bruce was just hanging out outside waiting yeah i guess so what if the trash hadn't been full that night well maybe he knew that their garbage was gonna be full that night you know he is the world's greatest detective but that would mean he's been keeping tabs on how full their garbage can is like on a daily basis i guess so what if gordon's wife had put out the trash well he must have known that jim's the one to put out the trash wow batman must have spent a lot of time watching over their trash habits yeah must-have anyway he's also gonna do this thing where he disappears mid-conversation why would he do that because it's mysterious it's rude and inconsiderate but also mysterious yeah i guess and we're gonna have bruce reconnect with his childhood crush rachel oh we are yeah and they're gonna reminisce about how they always used to steal condensed milk from alfred condensed milk yeah yeah can we maybe change that to candy or something no you remember when you were a kid and you'd always be like mother could i please have some sweet sweet condensed milk and she'd be all like not until you've brushed mother's hair not until you've brushed it well oh i think you might have had a weird childhood oh did i dang it that explains some stuff anyway what are the other characters in the movie well there's this guy jonathan crane aka scarecrow oh yeah yeah and he has this fear guess that makes it go crazy and super scared of stuff wow and rachel is an attorney now and she's getting real suspicious of him oh so what does he do he shows her that they've been dumping fear poison into gotham's water supply for weeks why would he show her that so we could see it oh okay gotcha and we're gonna learn that this stuff gets activated when water evaporates so the plan is to use targeted microwaves to do that wait but you said they've been dumping this stuff in the water for weeks yeah pretty evil right i mean yeah but hasn't anyone boiled water or made tea or had a hot shower i guess not no not in several weeks wow people in gotham must stink probably very stinky citizens we're also going to learn that ducard was the real raz all ghoul the whole time oh so not the one that batman murdered now that was a fake one right and he wants to take the big microwave on a train ride to wayne tower and vaporize all the water oh well that's not very nice nope and some of the stuff is gonna get released and people are gonna get all scared and crazy oh no yeah and rachel's gonna run into this kid that batman had a moment with earlier on in the film oh what are the odds of that well what are the odds of anything i don't know exactly i guess that's a satisfying answer and then that scarecrow guy is gonna pop out and attack them oh man it's gonna be hard for rachel and a child to take on a batman villain actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah she's gonna be scared for a second but then she's gonna you know tase him in the goddamn face oh my god yeah he freaks out his horse freaks out his horse did i not mention he's on a horse he's on a horse oh attacking people while on horseback is tight yeah it is so what happens next well the plan is for gordon to use the batmobile to shoot down the train tracks and stop razz al ghul from getting to wayne tower oh sounds like a good plan yeah and so then you know he does that oh well great and so batman jumps onto the train to fight razal ghoul wait why isn't it over i mean the train's gonna crash well he wants to fight him well okay then so then they're gonna fight a little bit and batman's gonna be like i'm not gonna kill you but i don't have to save you okay and so he jumps off the train and rosal ghul dies pretty sure that's still manslaughter yeah but it's not murder no not as much as the stuff he did earlier so batman's a good guy if you say so what do you think of the dark and gritty batman well it sounds like a good idea but i think we should balance out the darkness with some jokes here and there you know you think so yeah we could do that yeah i don't know why i just have this bad feeling about going too dark with it i mean what could go wrong with that though [Music] so you have a batman script for me yes sir i do so what's new with batman well his growly voice got a whole lot more growly since the first movie oh he went through bat puberty yeah yeah yeah so what does he sound like now he sounds like why do you want to kill me what you garbage who kills for money they can't understand what you're saying i'm not wearing hockey pads are you talking about hockey i have no idea what's going on here please stop sorry i got carried away that's okay i get it growling is tight it is so what happens in the movie well the bad guy in this movie is the joker so we're gonna open with him robbing a bank and escaping on a school bus that crashes through the wall not very subtle well there's a line of school buses passing in front of the bank so he blends in with them no one notices a school bus crashing into a bank and then driving out covered in dust and bricks they do not well okay then anyway we're also gonna have bruce go on a super long side quest to china to kidnap a guy ah that sounds like international terrorism yeah yeah that i imagine it's gonna be hard for him to come up with an alibi for why he disappears at the same time as batman appears in china actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah he's just gonna very publicly take an entire russian ballet troop out to party on his boat and then take off from a plane on the water wait what he's gonna party with a bunch of ballerinas on a boat it's gonna be in the papers and everything what if the media interviews a ballerina and she's like yeah the trip was great but bruce randomly disappeared on a mysterious airplane halfway through i don't know fair enough yeah so tell me more about the joker uh he's awesome he has a thing where he's like you know so lucky it's almost supernatural what do you mean well he comes up with these super intricate plans that completely depend on things he couldn't possibly predict going exactly the way that he predicted them do you have some examples well like he has a plan to get arrested but then escape by making a phone call that detonates a bomb that he planted in a prisoner's stomach right okay but that wouldn't have worked if he didn't have an officer in the interrogation room with him or if he had been detained somewhere else or if the prisoner had lifted up his shirt at any point oh yeah that does sound super lucky right so that kind of thing is gonna happen you know a lot what kind of other stuff does the joker do well we're gonna have a scene where joker and his goons take over a fundraiser for harvey dent okay and joker's gonna throw rachel out of a super high window uh-oh yeah and batman's gonna jump out of the window and catch her so they're both gonna fall wow how hurt are they not at all oh yeah they land on a car which makes it okay because cars are so soft and squishy and what happens with the joker what do you mean well rachel and batman flew out the window but he's still upstairs with a bunch of people right oh right did you forget to write an end to that scene whoops whoopsie i guess we could just keep moving on with the movie and hope no one notices fingers crossed anyway joker's also gonna do a thing where he kidnaps harvey and rachel and ties them up to explosives okay and there's a timer so batman's gonna have to decide who to try and save does he manage to save either of them yeah you manage just to save 25 percent of them wait 25 percent of two people well rachel's gonna explode and half of harvey dent's gonna burn up gotcha and so later joker's gonna dress up as a nurse and go visit harvey in the hospital how does that go well somehow harvey doesn't recognize joker till he takes off his little surgical mask wow and he must really be mad at the joker yeah but joker's like hey man don't be mad at me for killing rachel be mad at everyone else for letting me kill rachel that doesn't make any sense yeah no not really but somehow that convinces harvey to become like a wacky villain oh really so what does he do he goes on a killing spree where he flips a coin to see if people die or not maybe a little drastic yeah so anyway later batman is gonna foil a plan of the jokers to blow up a couple of fairies what do you mean well he pushes joker off a building but then he catches him because you know batman doesn't kill people right that's like his one rule exactly super powerful to see him stick to his moral code like that and then he's gonna push harvey dent off a building and kill him what yeah and harvey's killed some people so batman takes the blame for all that why would he do that because he's the hero that gotham deserves but not the one it needs right now oh i don't get that yeah but it sounds cool right i guess so but why wouldn't they just blame it all on the joker because this is more heroic but it's not necessary it's heroic though well okay then so what do you think well it sounds like a pretty great movie thank you although to be fair batman is so popular these days it'd be tough to make a movie about him that people don't like very true [Music] so you have a batman sequel sequel script for me yes sir i do so the bad guy in this one's gonna be bane and how does the movie start well the cia are going to bring a bunch of hooded men onto their plane without checking their identities wouldn't they at the very least lift the hoods to check for explosives or something no because the cia never investigates anything oh they don't nope and so it's going to turn out that one of the hooded guys is bane wow and he's planning on crashing the plane and staging it like an accident how does he do that by you know riddling the plane with bullets and ripping the wings off and then dropping the main cabin miles and miles away from the wings and that's supposed to look like a normal plane crash yeah yeah yeah well okay so tell me more about this bane guy oh well he has big muscles and a little mask thing and he sounds real scary oh what does he sound like he says scary stuff like this what can i see this plane i can't you sound like a muppet that got stuck in a wall yeah super scary stuff i guess that would be scary get out of the wall grover and then we're gonna see batman oh i can't wait for some batman action well you're gonna have to because he can barely walk what why because he was batman for like a year so now he has no more cartilage in his knees so he can't physically be batman anymore exactly also he doesn't want to so it's gonna be quite a while before we see him as batman okay well i guess watching bruce wayne limp around for an hour will be somewhat entertaining yeah and i think waiting for him to become batman again will make it that much more exciting when he finally does maybe anyway later bane and disguise are gonna attack the stock exchange oh and at the same time the bad guys are gonna use bruce's fingerprints to make a bunch of trades and lose all his money well obviously there were fraudulent trades right there's no way people will treat them as real oh they will so bruce is poor now and they shut off all the lights at the manor they immediately shut his lights off yep right away he's poor well i should probably point out that that's not how anything works oh i'd much prefer if you didn't point that out oh okay never mind anyway we're also gonna have this cop blake figure out that bruce wayne is batman well that's a tough one to crack must have been hard to do actually it was super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah he kind of just recognized the look in his eyes that angry orphans get oh that was easy yep so later batman's gonna get fixed with magic braces that give him super human kicks we'll never reference again wow so then he becomes batman again so then he becomes batman again for a couple of minutes wait what well catwoman is gonna bring him to bane and bane's gonna break his back oh my god yeah so he can't physically be batman anymore his body's broken right yeah and i think waiting for him to become batman again will make it that much more exciting when he finally does didn't we just do this i feel like we just did this for an hour we did and it was so special i figured you know let's do it again well okay then so bane is gonna fly with batman all the way to this crazy prison in india and explain to him how he's gonna torture his soul bane's gonna fly with him all the way to india just to tell him that and then get on a plane and go back home yeah yeah yeah why not just tell him before sending him there well it's more dramatic if he explains it to him there right but that's like 30 hours of air travel right could have recorded a video yeah so back in gotham they're going to be like you know what enough is enough let's just send all the police officers into the sewers and smoke bain out once and for all did you say all the police officers yeah i think that's standard procedure when the police really want to capture someone they just sent everybody oh i didn't know that where'd you learn that it's just how i assume police things work oh okay so how many officers are we actually talking here well let's see new york city has something like 40 000 police officers for a population of 8 million and we're saying that gotham has a population of 12 million okay so by that logic i guess gotham would have something in the range of sixty thousand so they send sixty thousand police officers into the sewers it certainly seems like that's what we're going with well okay then so then bane's gonna blow up a bunch of bombs and trap the cops in the sewers aren't there like thousands and thousands of manholes they could escape through what the hell is a manhole you've never heard of manholes manholes are tight you realize this is not an adult film right what are you talking about what are you talking about manholes oh okay anyway bane is also gonna destroy the bridges and reveal that he is an atomic bomb uh-oh yeah and if anybody tries to leave he's gonna detonate it and also it's just gonna detonate itself in like five to six months so their plan is to blow up gotham whenever but also just let it blow up in five to six months something like that so if it's gonna blow up either way why not just blow it up immediately because batman needs time to fix his broken back oh okay gotcha so yeah then batman has to get out of this prison oh man it's gonna be hard to do that with a broken back actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah because bane hooked him up with a doctor who fixes his back with some rope and a solid punch to the spine wow and then the prison has absolutely no guards plus you can just climb out of it if you're agile enough that is a very convenient prison yeah so then back in gotham commissioner gordon's being forced to walk on thin ice and he's about to fall through and die uh-oh but that's when batman shows up just in time how does batman showing up make the ice any less dangerous unclear but batman is back baby everything's okay how did batman get back from india with no money or resources into a city that's under lockdown unclear but he's back with just 12 hours before the bomb goes off well so what does he do well he spends the first four hours or so on a little art project oh he does yeah he paints a big old bat symbol doesn't seem like the most pressing issue art therapy is very effective it's a great way to prepare for a fight okay good to know so then catwoman blows up one of the sewer exits and all the cops run out clean shaven and ready to fight clean shaven well yeah because as you know the sewers are filled with enough shaving equipment for sixty thousand men to groom themselves for six months oh i actually didn't know that well now you do so then all the cops charge at bain's men like it's medieval times or something don't the henchmen have machine guns well what good are machine guns against batons and a couple of pistols they'd be very good i imagine well anyway it's gonna end up being a fist fight so whatever well whatever then and then batman and bane are gonna fight but now batman's really good because he did some push-ups in prison wow but then this lady miranda the batman hooked up with is gonna stab him wait what yeah she's gonna reveal that she's actually talia the daughter of razal ghoul from the first movie oh pretty crazy twist right i guess and then batman is gonna chase her because she takes off in a truck with the bomb in it very exciting and gordon's bouncing around and back trying to turn the bomb off or something oh boy and then the truck is gonna flip and tally is gonna die oh she is yeah and i'd love it if the actress could play it as if she forgot she was supposed to die in the scene and then suddenly remembered we can arrange that and what about gordon how does his death play out oh he's totally fine really wasn't he in the truck too yeah he was just in the back bouncing around with a two-ton bomb and he was just out of the hospital but he's fine well great so then batman's gonna fly the bomb out of the city just in time and it's gonna explode with a six mile blast radius wow so batman is gonna die that's insane nope he's gonna be fine too but how auto pilot so he jumps out just before it explodes but a six mile radius yeah well he's a fast swimmer i guess get off my back please and thank you well okay then also that black guy's robin sure why not so what do you think that sounds great fantastic yep i think we'll have made a trilogy that everybody involved will be proud of [Music] so you have a batman movie for me yes sir i do and i thought instead of that dark gothic look from the last two movies we could change things up and make it super bright and colorful and neon oh what made you want to change that i went to a rave recently and i can't stop thinking about it well okay then this is definitely a good place to get that weird energy out of your system i also had some thoughts about some costume changes we could make you know what you could just take that up with the wardrobe people i don't need to approve every little thing you sure yeah i mean unless it's something insane no i mean it's pretty straightforward stuff i think i mean i think it makes a lot of sense well then yeah no i'm sure that's fine great so at the beginning of the movie two-face is trying to kill batman oh what's his problem with batman well in court one day a mob guy threw acid in his face and so two faces mad at batman because he was there and he didn't stop it i guess what was batman just sitting in court yeah i guess so i don't know the point is two-face is crazy now and he's obsessed with killing batman but why because i said so fair enough so to face the whole movie he's trying to kill batman and he keeps failing very very cool yeah at a certain point he's chasing batman and batman drives up the side of a building wow how does he get back down unclear oh okay anyway so eventually bruce wayne is going to meet one of his employees edward nigma who's like obsessed with him right okay and he wants to work with bruce on some brainwave manipulation technology but bruce says no so he just goes insane oh he does yeah he just loses his mind because that's how we show that people are evil in these movies mental health issues of course so he starts sending these riddles to bruce wayne so he's the riddler now actually no he doesn't decide on becoming the riddler until like 40 minutes later he was already sending riddles before being the riddler yeah yeah well okay then we're also gonna have a new love interest for bruce wayne in this movie she's a psychologist named chase meridian what does she do in the movie well she flirts with batman a whole lot she uses the bat signal as a booty call oh really yeah and when he shows up she's just all over him i mean she really wants to sleep with batman and how does he react to that well he says stuff like it's the car right chicks love the car oh and he also says are you trying to get under my cape doctor wow and when he gets in his car and drives off he's like women well that all sounds like dialogue that batman should definitely say i agree so he's gonna perfect so bruce is gonna bring these riddles he's receiving to chase and she's gonna be like well whoever made these is obsessed with you oh so he makes the connection to the obsessive edward enigma guy he met just a few days before he doesn't no isn't he supposed to be the world's greatest detective yeah well it's much easier for me to write a story if he doesn't figure out super obvious things right away that makes sense so anyway bruce brings chase to the circus and the riddler is watching the whole thing unfold on the news oh that reminds me did you catch the live broadcast of the circus on the news last night of course i never miss a live broadcast of the circus on the news that's a normal and regular thing that happens it's perfectly normal i know it is that's why it's in the script well good so anyway two facing his goons bust in and they're like you guys gotta tell us who batman is or we're gonna blow this whole place up oh so what does bruce do well he yells i'm batman but nobody hears him cause the crowd's too loud not even chase who's sitting right next to him that's what we're going with so he just starts kicking butts all over the place and nobody makes the connection that this billionaire is suddenly doing public kung fu they don't know and then this acrobat family the graysons they save the day oh great but they all die except for the youngest one oh bummer what's his name dick hey screw you buddy no no no no that's his name his name is dick grayson no i know oh okay so anyway bruce feels bad so he adopts him oh so he's a child no he's very clearly in his 20s so batman adopts a fully grown adult man he sure does sir let me tell you this grown man he does laundry like a martial arts master oh what the hell are you talking about and he's eventually gonna find out that bruce is batman and he becomes robin well how does he find out that bruce is batman well he stumbles into the bat cave and he sees everything there's no security system in place down there there is a security system actually it says the word intruder out loud and then puts all of batman's stuff on display oh a very useless security system yeah it's pretty useless so then two-face and the riddler team up and what's their plan well they put a bunch of riddler's brainwave devices in everybody's homes and riddler starts to like absorb everybody's intelligence oh very rude i had a guy do that to me once it wasn't pleasant but i enjoy cartoons a lot more now well great so eventually two-face and riddler break into wayne manor and they just destroy a bunch of stuff and they kidnapped chase and they shoot bruce in the freaking face oh my god they kill batman no they just shoot him in the face which knocks him unconscious oh okay but wouldn't twoface just shoot him again while he's unconscious no cause the riddler tells him not to but that's literally been his one motivation the whole movie right but the movie's not done yet oh okay so then batman and robin go to try to save chase and stop the bad guys i love it and robin fights two-face and wants to kill him for revenge but then he doesn't cause batman told him not to very mature yeah so then he gets kidnapped too oh that didn't work out not really no and so then batman ends up in this situation where ridler's like hey here are two people you care about you can only save one of them man it's gonna be tough for batman to get out of that situation actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah he just tosses a batarang at this big glass thing that controls ridler's brain waves and then it fries his brain riddler decided to confront batman under a big breakable thing that's the source of his brain power he sure did yeah wow so then batman saves the people he cares about but then two-face pops out uh-oh so what does batman do well two-face flips his little coin that he likes to flip but batman tosses a bunch of coins in the air and so two-face falls to his death what about that hole we shouldn't kill people thing yeah no see the message is that murder is not an okay thing but if you do something that leads to someone accidentally taking their own life that's fine oh educational messages are tight kids are gonna learn a lot from this yeah and so riddler goes crazy right and he can't even remember that bruce is batman so his secret identity is safe well great yeah yeah yeah i mean except for sugar and spice two faces two girlfriends who were around the whole time and saw everything and are still alive uh whoops whoopsie so what do you think well i think it sounds like a very different direction for batman for sure yeah definitely but i mean seeing michael keaton as batman again is gonna make everybody happy right i mean that's if he agrees to do it i mean once he reads the scripts i don't see why he'd say no no that's a good point you're right [Music] so you have a batman movie for me yes sir i do and i know that critics didn't love batman forever but i think i know where we went wrong so this one's gonna be awesome well it's important to learn from your mistakes so what improvements are we gonna be making well first of all we put nipples on the bat suit in that one oh yeah that's right we did yeah and you know based on how people reacted to that i think we should you know feature them more prominently oh we should go all in on the nipples yeah yeah i think we should start the movie by zooming in on them i think people will appreciate them even more commit to the nip that's what i always say you do say that often yeah i do hr has been trying to get me to stop but i like saying it what am i gonna do so anyway batman and robin get all suited up and head out on a mission oh very exciting yeah and on the way they find out that mr freeze is robbing a museum wait where are they going if they find out on the way i don't know fair enough so mr freeze is stealing a big old diamond because he needs it to power his free suit that makes sense i know it does diamonds help freeze things everybody knows that ice cold baby so what's mr freeze's deal oh well his wife is sick with a rare disease and he makes ice puns oh what kind of ice puns every single one you could possibly make oh excessive ice puns are tight more like ice sessive that doesn't make sense yeah most of these won't make sense it's whatever well okay then so anyway then batman and robin show up at the museum right right and they need to try to get the diamond but mr frieza's henchmen try to get away with it using hockey well it's going to be hard for them to deal with hockey players in their batman and robin costumes actually it's going to be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah because when they tap their feet together their little boots turn into skates oh what yeah pretty cool right why would they have skateblades on their boots in case they have to skate okay yeah i guess that makes sense so anyway mr freeze gets in a rocket ship and tries to escape his plan is to steal a diamond then take a rocket to space that's what we're going with wow but then batman and robin are gonna stop him and robin's gonna get frozen oh no yep so mr freeze is like kill you next time batman and he runs away wait why doesn't he kill him right then and there well because the movie's far from over oh okay so anyway we're gonna meet the other villains of the movie oh there are other villains yes sir there's poison ivy and bane and what's poison ivy's deal well she gets chemicals on her and gets evil powers how did mr freeze get his powers he got some chemicals on him and got evil powers what about bain he got some chemicals in him and got evil powers okay we got a good variety i like it yeah we do amazing so yeah poison ivy has this power where she can seduce people you know like a plant like a plant yeah are you like into plants yeah oh very weird yeah so she makes people fall in love with her by blowing stuff in their face that's one of my flirting moves too i use cheeto dust does that work no it doesn't anyway so batman and robin are gonna be affected by this love toxin and they're gonna bicker the whole movie about who she loves more oh grown men bickering while in rubber costumes now we've got ourselves a movie yeah we're gonna have an auction scene where batman and robin both start bidding on poison ivy okay and batman's able to outbid robin because he brought his bat credit card oh a bad credit card you say oh my god what happened oh i'm sorry my eyes just rolled themselves that was weird very weird so what else happens in the movie oh well alfred's niece barbara is going to be visiting from london oh so she's got a nice british accent no full-on american accent oh yeah and also alfred happens to be dying from the same rare disease as mr freeze's wife well what a crazy coincidence yeah you could just write whatever you want in these things that's true you can so anyway he gives her a cd rom and he's like don't open this okay and so she immediately betrays him and does it wow very inconsiderate and it turns out there's a virtual version of alfred and he's like i knew you were going to betray me anyway so here's a batgirl costume i made for you to fight crime so he could have just given that to her that was a complete waste of time oh yeah 100 wow and so how does the movie end well mr freeze and poison ivy decide to team up oh they do yeah because he wants to freeze the planet and she wants to cover it with plants oh those are two very incompatible plans it doesn't make sense for them to team up at all oh whoops whoopsie well they're gonna team up well okay then yeah and robin's gonna pretend like he's still affected by the toxin to get close to poison ivy okay but then he reveals he was faking it so how did they get over the effect of the toxin unclear huh so anyway then there's a big final fight and poison ivy falls into a plant that closes up on her doesn't she control plants yeah but not this one why not because the movie's over gotcha and then mr freeze gives batman the cure for alfred's disease oh very cool yeah he is oh i made a pun did you see how fun that was yeah yeah yeah i totally get it and so yeah that's about it well it sounds great yeah you think yeah i think this is going to be something we can all be very proud of [Music] so we're bringing batman into the dc eu that's right and you know what i was thinking everybody's already kind of seen batman's origin story oh yeah everybody's seen that like a thousand times exactly so i figure let's do it again oh yeah but this time we'll do it super slowly ooh slow motion that is so cool yeah you like slow-mo oh yes i do in fact let's use it in all the scenes all every scene oh really every scene yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean the script is already kind of long i feel like that might extend the run time to over three hours well we could just cut out some scenes at random then at random what a what if some important stuff gets cut even better what do you mean well if people want the movie to make more sense they can pay for an ultimate edition oh that's smart right or maybe evil no it's smart okay gotcha so anyway what happens in the movie well first off batman is mad at superman because when superman was fighting zod and man of steel somebody close to him got killed was it robin no alfred nope lucius uh-uh well who was it it was jack who's who's jack he works at wayne enterprises as a financial advisor is he like from the comics or something no no no i made him up gotcha anyway we're gonna have lex luthor orchestrate a plan to get batman and superman to fight each other oh lex luthor is in this yeah but this isn't your typical lex luthor oh so well he's young he has hair he likes candy and he makes really high pitched mickey mouse noises like oh so he's like a toddler no he's like 30. wow so what's his plan oh it's super simple first he has to find out the secret identities of batman and superman then lure lois lane to africa to interview a rebel general but then sabotage it by outing a cia operative named jimmy so they can capture lois and superman shows up then he has to make sure all the rebels get murdered and that superman gets blamed for the whole thing also he has to make sure that someone from that african village will lie to congress about that so they force superman to testify then he's gonna force feed candy to a guy and ask congress for an import license because he wants to use kryptonite to make a weapon in exchange for access to general azad's body and also he needs to steal zod's fingerprints then since batman brands criminals for some reason luther will hire other inmates to kill those criminals in jail because that'll make superman want to investigate batman instead of doing his actual job which is to cover football for the paper then he has to send some crazy stuff in the mail then invite both of them to the same event and introduce them to each other in a very excited and suspicious way even though there's no real reason to be introducing bruce wayne to low-level journalist clark kent then lex has to blow up the capitol building via rigged wheelchair and a former wayne employee so people will be mad that superman didn't stop the explosion somehow lex assumes that this'll send batman over the edge and luckily for him it does then lex will access the kryptonian spaceship for his backup plan of combining his dna with zod's body to make a giant monster with alien science or whatever he'll call that thing doomsday kidnap lois lane kidnap superman's mom tells superman to kill batman or she dies then hope that superman doesn't explain the situation to batman and that they just fight each other oh okay simple enough yeah pretty straightforward cool yeah so instead of explaining the situation right away to batman superman will be like bruce i gotta talk to you bruce bruce listen listen to me bruce bruce this is important bruce bruce bruce i'm gonna say something important and so then they fight yes they do for a couple of minutes very cool but then batman finds out that superman's mom has the same name as his mom that makes them stop fighting yeah because it makes batman realize oh this guy has a mom he can't be that bad every concern i had about this super powerful alien is gone interesting and so they're gonna team up to fight the giant doomsday monster that lex somehow knew how to make how does that go well they managed to kill it but superman dies in the process oh well i mean he's not really dead right of course not obviously but we will spend a long time pretending like he is even though nobody's gonna buy that even though nobody's gonna buy that cool so listen we also have to kind of use this movie to set up the justice league film is that gonna be hard to shoehorn in there no no no super easy barely an inconvenience really yeah actually way ahead of you on that one batman is gonna meet wonder woman at lex's party oh why is she there because gotcha and they're gonna go on kind of a side quest to uncover the other heroes no no no but what they will do when people are gonna love this is send each other some emails why why why are people gonna love that well think about it what is the big thing missing from the modern superhero movie i i feel like you're gonna say emails but emails people wanna see superheroes email each other all right i mean you seem really excited about emails oh i am great well i hope people share your excitement yeah so these emails are gonna have attachments of video files showing the other heroes you know what i guess that is pretty cool right yeah it's much more efficient than taking the time to set up these characters before jumping into the big team up movie oh yeah marvel wishes they thought of an email scene oh yeah they're kicking themselves so what do you think of the movie overall man it doesn't matter what do you mean look we have batman superman and wonder woman in the same movie we could do anything we want and everyone's gonna love it oh really listen to me everyone you

Channel: Screen Rant

Views: 2,037,002

Keywords: Screen Rant, Screen Rant Pitch Meetings, Screen Rant Pitch Meetings Compilation, Pitch Meetings Compilation, Batman Pitch Meeting, Batman and Robing Pitch Meeting, Dark Knight Pitch Meeting, Dark Knight Rises Pitch Meeting

Id: 6SprxEkwSaQ

Length: 33min 36sec (2016 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 26 2020