The Truth About my Son

[Laughter] okay how about your color okay that was my son and today i'm gonna tell you a little bit about him it might come as a surprise to a lot of you that i even have a son because in eight years of making videos i've never really put him on camera i'm fairly private and protective when it comes to my family on my channel now you might say hold up you put your niece and nephews on here all the time but in my defense i feel like i've made it pretty clear at this point that i don't really care about them the reason i'm so protective of him is because he has special needs he's on the autistic spectrum and this is the internet so even as i make this video i'm incredibly terrified but this is something that my wife and i feel really strongly about a lot of times people hear he has autism they want to know what he's really good at like does he have a photographic memory or can he do really complex math in his head for example if you tell my son's friend any date from any year okay he will tell you the day of the week it lands on gonna randomly generate a date june 2nd 2004 what day is that on wednesday it's gonna take me a second even to get there uh what did i say june 2nd 2004 you said wednesday here's june june 2nd 2004. let's do one more okay i'm gonna generate another random date may 26 2006 um friday and there he goes what did i even say may 5th uh may 26th oh may 26th okay his parents and teachers have no idea how he has the ability to do this and he doesn't know how to communicate that to us either we need some help you need some help okay let's go make fun of it's actually a common misconception but the truth is the majority of the kids on the autistic spectrum don't have remarkable abilities like this our son however does have a remarkable ability although if you see him in public this ability isn't immediately apparent a lot of times when he's around lots of people or in a crowded place he might look disengaged or it might seem like he doesn't really know what's going on carly fleischmann has autism and was able to explain why this is and what you should know about carly is that because of her erratic behavior and because she can't speak for years people thought she was just severely autistic and had other extreme mental handicaps until one day when they put her in front of a computer where she could type and then they realized there was so much more going on in her head than anyone could have imagined i am autistic but that is not who i am take time to know me before you judge me this amazing breakthrough made it so carly was able to explain how it feels to have autism our brains are wired differently we take in many sounds and conversations at once i take over a thousand pictures of a person's face when i look at them that's why we have a hard time looking at people basically people with autism don't have a filter in their brain like the rest of us so if you and i are having a conversation here in this park i can ignore everything around me and just focus on your voice but if i had autism i would hear the ice cream man ringing the bell behind me and the kid crying because he's not getting any ice cream and the car is going by and the plane up there as well as the train in the distance not to mention all of the different smells and the fact that the tag on my shirt is kind of rubbing on my back it's sensory overload and everything comes in all at once and it's really overwhelming and makes it hard to focus this is why headphones can be really helpful at a place like disneyland but at home when he's in a familiar environment without a bunch of distractions you start to get a glimpse of who he really is you wouldn't know this from seeing him in public but he loves to laugh to the point that sometimes he can't even breathe this is us doing our nightly bedtime routine he loves routine and repetition because it's familiar and predictable which makes sense because his brain knows what to expect and it doesn't need to filter and as a dad his love of repetition is the best because my same jokes totally kill every time some of these i've used easily hundreds of times and i still get this response i have a name oh i'm sorry turtle this leads to his remarkable ability i mentioned earlier and it has to do with how he spends his free time at home by himself when he first meets someone he will ask important questions like what your favorite color is and if your house has stairs then the first chance he gets he will make you a full-page mural completely covered in about two pounds of your favorite crayon color and he'll write you a personal letter on the back as you can see he takes this job pretty seriously and so we are constantly running out of envelopes and stamps what's so remarkable to see as his parents is how happy people become when they get one of his letters and the letters themselves certainly aren't any literary masterpiece but people know they mean something special coming from him most kids are 12 years old they get home from school and they're on their phones or they're thinking about themselves and how to look cool but his biggest thrill is interacting with others his super power is making other people happy he also makes people better birthday parties are a really big deal for him even if it's not his and everyone is always compassionate and patient with him so he can make sure things happen just right [Music] having a child with special needs can be challenging at times and certainly some cases out there are much harder than others but his mom has always done a great job of finding and focusing on the best parts about our son and then making sure other people can see and celebrate those parts as well regardless of your religious or political beliefs or your favorite sports team or any other way we like to divide ourselves into tribes i think we can all agree that a successful life is one where you leave the world better than you found it sort of a net positive effect due to your influence there's a lot of normal functioning people who are critical and seek to tear others down or who have made a ton of money but are just terrible people and by my definition they're not successful people with special needs might not fit the traditional criteria of success by benefiting gdp or getting a phd to cure disease but they have such a net positive effect on the people that get to interact with them they personify traits like perseverance such as with jason here who has autism and was the dutiful sports equipment manager for four years so the coach put him in for the last four minutes of the game his senior year he sank not one not two but six three pointers including one right at the final buzzer for performance his supportive classmates will remember for the rest of their lives people with special needs ground the rest of us and demonstrate the simple joys life can offer with our hectic schedules and task lists they remind us that things don't have to be that complicated i love you kiddo or in the case of carly that our initial critical snap judgments of each other might be totally wrong my son will never be the star of his little league team he won't be the first person to step foot on mars nor will he invent the cure to cancer but by the best definition of success i can think of him and his special needs buddies and everyone else out there like them are giants living amongst us mere mortals they make the world a better place and we're lucky to have them thank you for watching the video if it resonated with you in some way please share it with someone in your life who you know might benefit from hearing the message i also have a very exciting announcement it's super distracting if you're mouthing all my lines i was doing that yeah just hold the cards or i could sit you don't mind right i mean do i have a choice this is your house oh yeah that is my house all right mark and i will be co-hosting three hour live stream for charity on mark's youtube channel on april 30th friday 5 p.m pacific 8 p.m eastern you can figure out all the other times we'll be doing this together it's called color the spectrum because you know my son likes to color and we'll also be joined by some folks you might have heard of such as mr beast the demilio sisters jacksepticeye i have a friend named jack that will be joining us too jack black conan o'brien stephen colbert adam sandler chris rock heard of him not to mention jon stewart john oliver miranda singh sarah silverman mark hamill andy samberg ijustine maya rudolph terry crews paul rudd and zach frickin galifianakis we'll also be joined by these folks as well i'll be there i'll be there i'll be there we'll be there [Music] i know you already said my name but i'll be there all of the proceeds are going to a really great a well-respected charity called next for autism who specialize in supporting folks on the autism spectrum as they transition into becoming adults there are resources for kids and teens affected by autism but there isn't much for adults yeah it kind of drops off so selfishly my son is coming up on that milestone so if you've ever wanted to support my channel financially i don't have a patreon so this is the most meaningful way you can do it so click the blue donate button over there or down there and we can start raising funds now even before the big live stream it's gonna be a lot of fun we're bringing the biggest stars of social media and old people media together for uh a great night great prizes and most importantly we're going to raise an actual ton of money to help some special people who could use it so follow the link in the video description for more information get pumped go donate and we'll see you there i'm already pumped as am i [Music]

Channel: Mark Rober

Views: 8,053,548

Rating: 4.9854336 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: ybPgmjTRvMo

Length: 10min 21sec (621 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 16 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/flavor_town_resident]

If I look younger here it's because this video is actually 2 years old and it's just taken us this long to feel comfortable releasing it since this is the internet.

Thanks for having the courage to post this, Mark. It's a great message for everyone to hear :)

[u/westphall]

I'm a dad of an almost 4yo with nonverbal autism. This video hit home hard for me. I really needed to see this.

[u/aBastardNoLonger]

Didn't know he has a kid. He's always talking about his nieces/nephews.

Bonus fact: he follows me on twitter for some reason. I don't even tweet.

[u/Vohdre]

I always assumed Mark would be a great dad. This confirms my assumptions.

[u/Faythezeal]

I didn’t think I could respect Mark Rober more, but what an amazing person, in all aspects. Sharing this is incredible.

[u/danger_zone123]

Just started watching him a couple weeks ago with my son and this is incredible.

[u/Clothes-Alt]

The kid who can tell the day by the date is insane I wonder how he knows that

[u/Chm_Albert_Wesker]

the spectrum is wide as hell: my brother and cousin are the same age and are both autistic but my cousin can pretty much handle the internet and stuff on his own memorizing entire movies and retelling them line for line whereas my brother is almost completely nonverbal and violently behavioral.

these types of videos are always kind of rough for me because they always talk about how difficult it is and how other people cannot relate, but considering every case is so soooo different I feel that even people who do have to deal with it can't necessarily relate to others who have as well. not to take away from the courage of the guy in the video for posting but we're comparing missing typical social queues and aversion to loud stimuli to putting holes in walls, windows, and sending family to the hospital. yes it's all without malice and is pure, but the sentiment of them always coming with just joy can have a big asterisk. i know personally, i'm terrified of passing that gene and I'm almost positive I couldn't endure my own child with it after living in parallel with such a severe case all my life

again 100% not taking away from this guy's courage and the cause seems super cool

[u/NKevros]

I've watched Rober with admiration for a while, and now he does this. I've got a high-functioning 9yo, so... yeah.