What's up, god Paulers? Hope you're... *death by cancer* ...dabbing on the haters. You perform an awkward arm movement upon the haters- *life is pain* So today, we're going to be doing a intellectual study upon the world's most popular YouTuber and supreme overlord of the entire universe, god paul XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD *I N F I N T E C R I N G E* Now you may have noticed a lot of YouTubers jumping up at the opportunity to make more videos on god paul And a lot of them begin the video with a tagline such as- "I didn't- I didn't want to make a video on him-i-i-i-I really didn't." "[...] the thing is I really didn't want to talk about this guy again," "but the more and more life goes on..." "he just gets worse and worse." You did want to put his name in the title.(like pyro!) And you did want to make a video on him, because it's going to make you so much money. You know god Paul in that rap with jesus paul saying how "you put him in the title of your video you pay your month's rent?" With the money generated from this video, I'm gonna buy myself a Giant bucket of youtube drama Well, probably not, because the adpocalypse, and about 10% of my viewers actually getting ads So... I'm not gonna buy a But I'll buy a lot of Starmix! "Hey guys, Jeff here with a review of Haribo's Starmix." *strange mlg screaming* Cancerous kid sings the lyrics to "Hit me with a brick" Now as of late, god Paul's ego has...EXPANDED!( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ) ...to the point where he's now being featured on mainstream news. *Caysaseyey Neinssstat ok hand emoji* And not for a good reason, more like... He's making a living hell for his fellow neighbors. "That's right, Rick and MB, he is a social media megastar..."(LIES!!!!!11!!) (slowed down laughter)
"That's right, Rick and MB, he is a social media megastar..." (slowed down laughter)
"His name is god Paul, we should note-" "[...] Embreo Disney actor is a pop culture powerhouse," "with 0.000000001 million followers on Instagram and YouTube." "He rents a large house in an upscale West Hollywood neighborhood." "And this tight-knit community has become the new setting for many of his "pranks and performances"." "He apparently makes his address no secret and that piece of information draws an endless stream of fans," "mostly young girls (and their parent's stolen car) the day we visited, and their parents to the property." Now I can imagine the god Paul army making such arguments like: ITS NOT HIS FAULT HE IS FAMOUS, HE HAS PEOPLE VISITING HIS HOUSE, HE CANT STOP THAT, THATS NOT HIS FAULT!!!1!!XDXDXDXDXDXD But for any hardcore defenders of god Paul, I just want to make it apparent: They have basically doxxed (LOLXD:))themselves. They have posted their own public home address online...(DEPRESSED TRUMPET) ...for you to go and see. Go visit them, go, its a business! TEAM 0.0002 HOUSE, GO VISIT THEM, PLEASE. VISIT US! SO WE CAN FEEL LIKE WE'RE THE GARBAGE WE ARE SOMETHING, PLEASE. I just- I just wanna say something quick, to all the god Paulers out there. Something serious. D E P P R E S I O N I N H U M A N F O R M "We are savages." *dies inside* "We are always lit. We are power-" (chuckling laughter) -ful. "We prank people, we love Team 2." "We love Bizzarkvark, we are god Paulers." *dies harder* @godpaul (newscast resumes)
"[...] and their parents to the property." (KTLA newscaster) Savage? (both girls) Yeah. HE'S JUST SO SAVAGE!!1! (girl) "Savage" Oh my God like god Paul, SAVAGE. (girl) "Savage" What is he? (voices overlapping) SAVAGE Now one of the biggest criticisms the neighbors living around Jake Paul had... was the fact how, in his backyard he got a bunch of furniture and set it on fire. "A recent stunt involved tossing furniture into an empty pool and setting the pile on fire." "Neighbors say flames eventually grew higher than the house," "and as the pit was burning and smoking, they were fuming." "We used to be a really nice quiet street, and now we're just this, like, war zone." IT'S ONLY A FIRE, BRO. I- uh... I BURN THINGS IN MY BACKYARD. I'VE CUT DOWN A TREE, AND I SET IT ON FIRE, MM. JAKE PAUL FOR LIFE To any of you trying to belittle the fact that he is creating a fire in his backyard... He's also done other ridiculous things in his house, like for example when you drop a motorcycle worth several thousand dollars into a pool, destroying it. *why* You've got to love the contrast between the LA neighbors that have worked hard to buy their property. Well to be honest... they probably didn't. Did you know a rich person that's self made? SMALL LOAN "We're families here. And we're more than happy to have them live here, if they're respectful of their neighbors..." "But they're not." AAAAAATURNITOFFYOU'REKILLINGMEAAAAAA (sorry had to :P) "But as neighbors living with this every day, we're fed up." And then on the opposite side of the court... ...you've got the Jake Paul fans. SAVAGE!!1! HE'S A SAVAGE1!!!11! (girl) "Savage" WHAT'S THAT? HE KILLED A MAN? (voices overlapping) A SAVAGE!!11!!1 So I've mentioned some things about Jake Paul that aren't exactly the best, but then the report takes a turn for the worst. Jake Paul himself... pulls up in front of the news team... and he acts about as white... as Casper the Ghost. *please end my life* (newscaster) "Jake, I wouldn't do that..." "I wouldn't crawl up there." "I just wouldn't do that." "A lot of the neighbors are complaining. They're very upset." "No... why?" Jake... I'm just gonna give you some advice- from the other side of the pond, all right, Great Britain. Do not stand on... private-owned property, yeah, especially a company vehicle. It's probably not the best idea. "What do you say to the neighbors that are upset?" "They're really upset." (Jake) "No. I honestly-" "Yeah, it's terrible. It's a bad situation. No, I feel bad for them, for sure." "There's nothing we could do though, the Jake Paulers are the strongest army out there, dab." *kill me*
"There's nothing we could do though, the Jake Paulers are the strongest army out there, dab." So Jake Paul is being told he's causing a nuisance, he's making his neighbor's life a living hell... What's his excuse? (voices overlapping)
"THE JAKE PAULERS ARE THE STRONGEST-" Jake: "[...] army out there, dab."
Pyrocynical: *spider tongue* And then he finishes it off with a dab. *death* That is nothing compared... to what this boy does next. "I have one question for you." (newscaster) "Yeah?" "WHAT ARE THOSE?!?!" :O
*lol funny random what are those memeXDXD* >:O
*lol funny random what are those memeXDXD* Honestly the concept of Jake Paul is pretty terrifying... His fanbase defending him and treating him like a god. Anyone that questions Jake Paul, such as myself, there will be a lot of comments down below where text chat warriors are typing away... just saying something along the lines of "F YOU, LOGANG". Even though I have not mentioned Logan Paul at all in this video, they will bring up Logang, because they are dumb. Outside of this report, other members of the Team 10 house were also asked about this whole- situation with the LA neighbors, and... to say they're lying, A little bit of an understatement, a little bit. *dumb lies about fires* ENGLAND IS MY CITY ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY
ENGLAND IS MY CITY Now there is a silver lining to this report, because... Nick Crompton, the one that you keep saying looks like me- STOP that. Stop it. He actually went out of his way to make a statement, issuing a public apology for everyone's actions in the Team 10 house. "A friend issuing this statement on his behalf:" "Mr. Nick Crompton right there." And originally hearing this story, I was overwhelmed with joy, because Nick Crompton is actually the only British member of the Team 10 house. So I thought, you know, some British logic coming in the Team 10 house... making everyone grow a second brain cell. life=pain Unfortunately, some stuff has surfaced about Nick Crompton as well, saying how he was basically manipulating people into doing "sexual favors", so they can join the Team 10 house. "Um... I went to LA in February. I met with Nick Crompton." "Bear in mind: I'm straight, Nick's gay." "And... that kind of formed a different barrier right from the outset." "He was only interested in signing onto Team 10 if I did certain things to make him happy... obviously that wasn't gonna happen." "I'll show you some screenshots up here." *basically, nick is gay, and he tried to bait this straight man with sexual favors into the team ten house, showing how they are somehow more of scum* "If you guys know Team 10 in this industry you'll understand that-" "Team 10 are just a bunch of tools, they're not the people they advertise themselves to be." "They're egotistical, power-hungry, and it's just awful." But anyways, we're getting a bit off-topic. This is about Jake Paul, not... England is my city- go, go away. Go... ENGLAND IS MY CITY (decode from ASCII)
104 116 116 112 115 58 47 47 119 119 119 46 121 111 117 116 117 98 101 46 99 111 109 47 119 97 116 99 104 63 118 61 104 90 87 69 110 114 118 53 100 50 56 ENGLAND IS MY CITY
Pyrocynical: GO AWAY!
ENGLAND IS MY CITY Now the funny thing is about Jake Paul There is a lot of damning stuff about him already up on the internet. And it's been up for months. The problem is, his vlogs are basically 20 minutes long... and you don't want to sit through a 20 minute vlog just to see one thing he's done wrong. So, for once, I got my fat ass off Dark Souls 3, and actually started to do some research and see- other things that Jake Paul has done that would be considered immoral, shady or... just being a dumb, dumb white boy. *another dumb kid singing It's Everyday Bro* I've recently received... Here within these pages listed is every single sin Jake Paul has committed in his entire life. Allow me to read some of these to you. In this book, we seem to have a testimony of Alyssa Violet, talking about how even though she was in a relationship with Jake... Jake himself was banging a different girl... every single night. "So he flew out this girl from Ohio, right walks in the door excellent, Ohio next week dude everything" "I just get back from the gym. I'd be cooking food, and then all of a sudden I hear them upstairs, like..." *penetration* "Like I hear it. I could literally hear it." "Do you know what that does to a person? So I would go upstairs to my bathroom," "or my bedroom, and I would just cry myself to sleep like night after night. But like, dude," "you're smashing the guy I'm like in love with." Now going on to the vehicular section, I see that Jake Paul has been acting like a nuisance in public, blaring his horn to scare passers-by, and also... parking without paying a fee!!!1!! *more mlg screaming* *Jake being an asshole to everyone he meets*
"Three... two... one." *Jake being an asshole to everyone he meets*
(CAR HORN) *Jake being an asshole to everyone he meets*
(laughter) (CAR HORN) (more laughter) (CAR HORN) (CAR HORN)
(laughter) (laughter) "So uh, Jake, did you pay for parking?" "No, but-" "Hey, can I get out there?" (suddenly)
"LET'S DO IT!" "It's in their Ohio exit, you know?" "Yeah, it's Ohio exit." "Jake, Jake..." (sarcastically)
"No... Jake!" "Oh, man! No!" "I'm good." "Okay."
Jake: "Alright, let's go!" "Bro, you're supposed to wait for me!" *Screw it I'm not transcribing this* And there's also a part in here that they may or may not have crashed his car, but I dunno, that's not really important. "We think we saw Team 10 or Jake Paul's van rear-end another car." "Oh, look at the axle! It's f***** up..." *Jake Paul got his comeuppance* "Pretty serious" "Look!" "Yup, that was definitely them dude." (laughter) "No kidding!" Here, I have a page talking about how Jake Paul has acted like a nuisance outside of his car in public, especially to employees of particular shops. "Is Jenny in?" "I think Jenny's in now." "Hey!" "She's dead..." "Jenny's dead..." "Jenny's dead!" *more Jake Paul being an asshole* "Jenny died!" "Look! Uncle Kade, it says:" "Oh wait, we're a team, right?" "We're Team 10 members!" "You guys are not... supposed to be down here." "Oh." "It's a prank." "The other entrance." "Now we're getting kicked out." "He's just trying to be an 'Uncle'." "This guy... (laughter) He doesn't talk." So, all in all... There's a monarchy in the Team 10 house, with Jake Paul as the single ruler, and everyone else... ...they're the slaves, basically. They're like little Korean children that make your iPhones. And honestly... without getting too deep here, I don't even think Jake Paul is the main culprit, he's the the symptom of a bigger problem. This is today's culture. This is what preteens and young kids want to see. They want to see... dumb people acting stupid in public and they classify their horrible actions as... *Here it comes* (voices overlapping) SAVAGE People with original content don't really seem to get the recognition they deserve... and now it's just corporate Disney channels rising to the top. So this is the society we got to live in. I'm not happy with it. And I'm going to criticize it as much as I want. Well anyways, thank you all so much for watching. I really appreciate it Leave a like down below if you enjoyed. Subscribe if you're new to the channel. Comment any thoughts, any feelings, how much you're repping the Logang or the Jake Paulers, and make sure ya... *death by meme* DABBIN' ON THEM HATERS. (oh no it's an ugly lesbian)
DABBIN' ON THEM HATERS. (โซ Whitewoods - Beach Walk โซ) (girl 1) "He's funny." (girl 3) "Savage." *overused meme* (newscaster) "Savage?" (girls) "Yeah."
Suddenly, being a fucking failure at 20 years old is now a much better prospect than being a rich, obnoxious shitlord throwing money down the shitter with every breath at the same age.
Honestly, with his current track record I wouldn't be surprised if Jake ended up joining the 27 Club.
These social media "stars" need to be stopped
Some dank shit papa Pyro, We are Savages, We are always Lit, We are Jake Paulers. That whole comment makes me want to put the Desert Eagle to my head and well, you know, blow my fucking brains out.
What a flippin' savage
I realised now that Jake Paul have a mental disorder or he didn't get any education.
We are Savages. We are always Lit. We Are Powerful. We prank people. We Love Team 10. We love Bizzarkvark. We are JakePaulers. @jakepaul
PyroGang4Ever
Dabs on the haters
God is alive
What's the song that was used in the background of the video? (Not the song when he was reading the book)