The Art Of Pulling Back To Create Attraction

hi I'm coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the top of this newsletter is going to be the art of pulling back to create attraction and we're going to talk about is when you're dating a girl and things are going real well say it starts off it's real hot and heavy in the beginning and you're hooking up and sex is great and you really think something's going to go somewhere with this girl to get a little overly excited maybe your little cocky little full of yourself and then what happens is you're not really paying attention because you start to project your high interest on the girl that you're dating and then what happens is she starts to call you last arts to text you less maybe sometimes when you ask her to do something she says I'm not really sure I'm kind of busy she starts to take her time to get back to you whereas before when you would text her she was I mean she would respond to you right away and so there's a balance there's a middle road between obviously if you pursue too much and you try to force things along you'll cause her to put you in the let's just be friends own or just simply ruin your chances all together and not want anything to do with you but the flipside is that you can pull back too much and then when she starts chasing and pursuing that you actually start to ignore her and not pay attention to the signs that she actually just wants to hang out have fun and hook up like always and so I see these mistakes happen sometimes I got an email here from a guy who started pulling back and the girls started chasing pursuing and they didn't ask her to do anything it's almost as if he was waiting for her to start asking him out on dates or something like that and so I see guys doing this sometimes and so I thought this would be a great email to to go through because it's a really critical error because I know like when I was learning this stuff I really struggle with it and if you've read my book you know that the women there's especially like the one relationship where I spend about a year and a half really getting to match this where the point where it really built my emotional internal emotional muscle and emotional strength it was a [ __ ] doing because I didn't have a coach I didn't have somebody to help me out with this stuff and tell me the exact way to show up how often a call how much to back off how much to pursue it took me time to figure out the middle of the road and so it's nice is that all that struggle that I went through enables me to look at emails like this and be able to pinpoint exactly where a guy is going wrong and at the end of the day what you're really dealing with is those feelings of insecurity a fear of doubt fear that you're not enough fear that you won't be loved fear that you won't get the girl you want there are the things that won't won't work out or that because it's like alright I remember I was younger I always had this fear I go out and have a great date I'm thinking am I ever going to see this girl again does she is she going to want to see me again so you just never really know especially the beginning like when you you know four or five days go by then you call her to set the second dates like you never really know if she's gonna even if you thought you had a great first date when you're calling for that second date there's still like what if she doesn't answer a phone what if it goes to voicemail I'd leave a message and then you end up getting her voicemail you leave a message and then you're just freaking out the whole afternoon going oh my god she doesn't call me back here what the hell she doesn't like and I said she calls you know like whew I feel a lot better about myself so I've got a quote here that I want to share with you it's from the book of Proverbs and it says if you can't control your anger you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked and therefore if you can't maintain your emotional center with women you're dating or that you're in a relationship with things are simply not going to end well like I've said numerous times when you're in a fearful state your thoughts and the actions that you contemplate come up with it oh I think I should do this I think I should do that nine times out of ten 99% of the time when you take the actions that there's and make or the decisions that you make when you're in a fearful state those will tend to bring about more being fearful and more unbalanced in your life as opposed to taking the time to relax sleep on it think about it contemplate on it and when you have peace of mind in your heart and you feel relaxed about it then those decisions and actions that you take coming from that place will be a lot more efficient and it will get you to your goals or wherever it is that you want to get ultimately a lot quicker so he says hey Cory I'm in a situation with a woman where after a couple of months of hanging out we became very amorous over a couple of weeks lots of sex he says after those two weeks she told me that she wanted to take things slow and that things were moving too fast in the relationship when a woman says that what she's basically saying is this is starting to feel like a relationship really quickly and it's her way of saying like dude you need to slow down you're trying to force things instead of just kind of like letting the love story happen so to speak that's why I say the only thing I guy really needs to focus on is hanging out having fun and hooking up rents recycle repeat and eventually if you do everything right over after about two months the girl should be in love with you and usually in week five or six as usually if you're doing everything right now obviously usually five week five or six is when she starts bringing up the exclusivity labels and by about the in the second months you should be interest level should be the 90s and that means that she'll be in love with you at that point it's a great place to be it's a it's a wonderful thing to have the peace of mind and have life experience and have confidence to know that when you're dating a chicken she just knocks your socks off but it doesn't totally uncentered you to the point where you start making stupid unnecessary mistakes it's beautiful because it's like almost the future becomes predictable it's like you can set your watch to her actions and what she'll do if you follow what I teach in my book and in my articles it allows you as a man to focus on what's most important in life was it which is your purpose and your mission in life so he says we never clearly defined being boyfriend and girlfriend but she did tell a co-worker of ours that we were spending a lot of time together and now people we work with refer to us as an item one side note when when a woman says something like hey she wants to take things slow and then we're moving too fast when you when a girl says something like that in a way she's testing you to see cuz a guy who's focused on relationship he's going to try to corral her into some kind of commitment a relationship and he'll usually start to get a little uneasy a little upset because he's fearful that oh my god I'm not going to be able to make this girl my girlfriend and then he starts to chase and pursue and try to force things when all he really needs to do is just say oh it's like that's not worried about it's like I'm not looking for a relationship I just want to I agree with you 100 sin I think we should take things slow and let's have fun let's not complicate things let's just focus on a great time together and just see where it goes that's the best response you can come up with when a woman throws something like that at you and if you're just learning this stuff it may happen to you and so that's why I discuss things like this is so you can learn from other guys that are making mistakes and so if you get faced with this in your own life you got a great response a great comeback can totally diffuse the situation and move right on like anywhere so it doesn't affect you or cause the girls start backing off because if she gets a hint that you try to force things or that you're way more into her than she is into you at this point then she's going to start backing up because what happens is she becomes fearful that she's going to lose her freedom and that you're going to become kind of stalkerish or try to force her to be in a relationship when she's not really ready for that it's always better if it's the woman's idea if you allow her you give her the space to start pursuing and chasing you over time as her interest level goes up she'll start calling you more texting you more and after about two months of dating and doing everything right it'll basically at the point where she's texting you two or three times a day and she's either coming over to your place you're going over to her place you're pretty much seeing each other every day you're together all the time it makes it pretty easy they just pretty much vote themselves into your life as long as you keep focusing on hanging out having fun and hooking it up keeping it really simple he says over the following couple of weeks since the thing with the coworkers calling them referring to them as an item and her saying hey were moving too fast she told me she wanted to slow her roll and I noticed things changing with her so basically what happened was she mentioned this to you and obviously you didn't handle it very well because instead of our interest going up her interest started going down and so it's like you heard it but you were unable to take actions and do and say the right things that communicated you had to take her leave it kind of attitude that you were just kind of like hey it's don't complicate things let's just have a great time together and see where it goes and your response obviously caused her to continue to feel like it was moving into the relationship zone too fast and that she would potentially lose her freedom and when the other person senses that they're going to lose their freedom you usually end up getting dumped or stuck in a let's just be friends own he says the day after we talked I sent her a text apologizing for not thanking her for having the conversation we did and then I respected her decision well that was a big [ __ ] you don't need to do that that was a completely unnecessary and see what's going on is you had this conversation and it sounded like it went well but like the next day you're falling under what I like to call the illusion of action you're thinking oh I got to do something to reconfirm what happened yesterday bottom line is you discussed it but when you text her like this and with an apology the next day it expresses weakness it expresses that you're fearful that you're going to lose this girl and many were successful in women they don't worry about losing a girl because at the end of the day they know that it takes to an effort from both people in the relationship making an effort to make something work between two people he says she responded by saying I don't have yes she says she responded by saying I didn't have to say that I was sorry and that she felt bad and here again woman's just confirming that the apology was inappropriate what did I just say is that going to go so he says I didn't respond to that in that week and she sent me a text while I was working late saying that she missed me he says I am sure I made a mistake in not inviting her over that night it doesn't have to be that night when she says hey I miss you he's like hey I miss you too I'd love to see you when are you free to get together that's the right response in that moment but instead you kind of start like dancing in circles or maybe you just ignored her on purpose I you know I don't know what's going on and it's not a bad thing that you didn't respond man you know maybe you're out with your friends and that would have a good thing anyways cuz then she'd be wondering what you're doing or what you're up to and she's like oh I if you call her the next day she says where were you up to is like I was out with a friend last night what were you up to you know it's like I got your text and it really sweet to hear that you miss me and I miss you too I'd like to see you when you're free to get together make a definite date then say great I'll see you then I got a run I'm really looking forward to it and then get off the phone that's like I say it's so simple he says I've noticed her becoming distant what is confusing to me is that this past week she's been touching me more and at first I responded to her distance by trying to engage her more and I noticed her becoming more annoyed see you pursued and you saw that your over pursuit caused her to get annoyed with you because in essence you're acting like the woman he says I backed off immediately and we only see each other at work lately which amounts to once or twice a week how come you're not making dates dude if you see her hey great to see what's happening what's new I mean you had some missed opportunities there dude and then when you free to get together and then make a date like once the fallback position is always once a week you should ask her to do something especially when she goes cold but if you call girl and she's real flaky non-committal not really into it then wait two weeks and then text her and call her or call her and see if if you can make make plans with her this is the last time we work together she said hi when I walked in and told me I looked handsome in my uniform again she's trying to communicate her interest is going back up and she's noticing these things but you're just brushing them off and now you're trying to act all cool and ignore all these indicators of interest the idea it's like when you back off it's like putting a cake in the oven just needs to bake a little bit longer and when when the timer goes off the girl starts calling you were texting you were telling you they're handsome Gambhir saying she misses you it means I'm ready for you to create the next one feel romantic opportunity for sex to happen and you didn't do that in this case so it's another missed opportunity so he said back in the kitchen she was a little touchy-feely with me poking me in the belly and brushing up against me and I gave her a little contact back the next day she came into work to watch a hockey game and I'd out mate and did not make any attempt to approach me I caught her looking at me and when I did she hurried up and looked away because now she started to think oh he doesn't like me more maybe he found somebody else and so she doesn't want to look like a douchebag expressing interest when you're basically ignoring her he says that eye contact is the only contact we had that night and that's the last time I saw her from one day of the next she became quite cold and I don't know she's testing me by seeing how I'll react to her cold shoulder through our next work experience but I don't think the cold shoulder is a good thing so what I'm wondering is how to view this because she never told me she didn't want to see me again the end of day you're the man and it's up to you to make a date happen she put herself into your orbit just like I say all the time she put herself into your orbit it was up to you to be the man and make a date happen but you didn't do it you just kind of walked around in circles in essence waiting for her to be the leader make a date with you or invite you to do something and that's where he completely went wrong here so if I were you if you still haven't heard from this girl I would call her and say hey I'd love to get together when are you free to get together I'd love to see I'd love to meet up for a drink when are you free and then make definite plans and then get off the phone because I mean what you basically did here is that you backed off and then when she present herself to you you ignored her so if you want my help go to my website click the products tab a book of foam Cochise you

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 1,070,110

Rating: 4.8070116 out of 5

Keywords: The, Art, Of, Pulling, Back, To, Create, Attraction

Id: oqhKovAypfY

Length: 14min 57sec (897 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 08 2013