>>HEY.
WELCOME TO TEDDY'S STORY JOINT. CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
>>ACTUALLY, I JUST GOT HIRED. >>OH, YOU MUST BE WHITNEY.
>>YEAH. >>HERE, COME ON BACK.
I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND. >>OKAY.
>>ALL RIGHT, SO THE WAY THIS PLACE WORKS IS, ANYONE WRITING A BOOK, YOU KNOW,
FOR A NOVEL, MOVIE, TV SHOW-- >>RIGHT.
>>THEY COME IN HERE AND WE SELL THEM PLOTS AND CHARACTERS,
YOU KNOW? ANYTHING THEY COULD WANT.
>>SHOULDN'T THEY BE WRITING THOSE THEMSELVES? >>[LAUGHTER] YOU'RE CUTE.
HEY JANE AUSTEN. HOW ARE YOU?
SHE'S A REGULAR. >>I'D LIKE A PLOT TODAY, THE USUAL.
>>ALL RIGHT. >>UH, WHAT'S THE USUAL?
>>GIRL LIKES A GUY, LOOKS LIKE SHE WON'T GET THE GUY, BUT THEN SHE DOES.
WITH THE WITTY SOCIAL CRITIQUE ON THE SIDE. >>YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE IT.
>>ALL RIGHT. ORDER UP.
>>ALL SINGLE WOMEN THANK YOU. >>WAIT, SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT SHE
USES THE SAME PLOT IN EVERY BOOK? >>EVERY BOOK, YEAH.
>>WELL, THAT'S WRONG. >>HEY GEORGE LUCAS, J.K. ROWLING.
>>HOW ARE YOU? >>HI, TEDDY.
I'D LIKE A PROTAGONIST. WHITE, TEENAGE MALE, EVERYONE
CALLS HIM THE CHOSEN ONE. >>OH.
I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING. >>AND HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THEM COOKED?
>>UH, LET'S GO WITH NEVER KNEW HIS PARENTS, RAISED BY HIS AUNT AND UNCLE,
TRAINED BY A WISE OLD MAN. >>YES, I WANT IT.
>>ANYTHING ON THE SIDE? >>OH HOW ABOUT, POSSESSES
POWERS HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT. GREAT AT FLYING, SUPER WHINY.
>>MHM. I WILL GET THE SAME THANK YOU.
>>ANYTHING ELSE? >>NO.
>>OKAY. >>UH, YES.
CAN I GET A SMALL ORDINARY OBJECT WITH THE DARK
LORD'S SOUL INSIDE IT? >>OH, ACTUALLY WE JUST SOLD OUR
LAST ONE TO MR. TOLKIEN. >>UGH, MUGGLES.
>>GREAT. NOW TWO HUGE SAGAS ARE GOING TO
HAVE THE EXACT SAME MAIN CHARACTERS. >>UH, HARRY WEARS GLASSES.
THANK YOU. >>YOU KNOW WHITNEY YOU REMIND ME
OF OUR OTHER EMPLOYEE MATT. HE USED TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE WORK TOO, BUT NOW--
>>HEY BOSS, THE NEW BATCH OF CHARACTERS CAME IN REAL BLAND.
>>JUST SAVE IT FOR THE NEW TWILIGHT BOOK. >>YOU GOT IT.
>>OKAY, I REFUSE TO BE A PART OF A COMPANY THAT PLAGIARIZES.
>>WHOA, WE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. >>UM, I'M WRITING <em>THE LIFE OF PI</em> AND I'D LIKE TO GET A MAN WHO BEFRIENDS A TIGER AND NO
ONE BELIEVES HIM. >>MATT, HEAT UP <em>CALVIN AND HOBBES .</em>
>>COMING UP! >>OKAY.
REALLY? >>YOU KNOW WHITNEY, YOU NEED TO
GET OFF OF YOUR HIGH HORSE OKAY? I MEAN TAKE EARNEST HEMINGWAY HERE.
WITHOUT OUR HELP, HE'D STILL BE ON THE STREETS. >>HEY, UH, HEY TED.
I'M A LITTLE SHORT ON CHANGE. COULD I GET SOME CHEAP CHARACTERS?
>>ALL RIGHT, THAT WILL BUY YOU AN OLD MAN AND BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, I'LL
THROW IN THE SEA. THERE YOU GO.
>>THIS IS GOING TO BE SO BORING. >>ALL THOSE POOR HIGH-SCHOOLERS.
>>YOU SEE ALL THE GOOD WE DO? NOT TO MENTION THE HELP WE GIVE THE FILM INDUSTRY.
>>HEY, TEDDY! >>HEY MISTER BRUCKHEIMER!
HOW ARE YOU? >>GOING TO GET A REFILL ON <em>PIRATES
OF THE CARIBBEAN.</em> >>AGAIN?
YOU KNOW THEY GET MORE WATERED DOWN AFTER EACH ONE.
>>YEAH, I DON'T CARE. >>WHOA, WHOA.
DON'T SHAKE IT UP TOO MUCH. I WANT IT TO TASTE EXACTLY LIKE
THE FIRST FOUR. >>HEY BOSS, WE JUST HAD A BIG
GREASE FIRE EXPLOSION IN THE KITCHEN. >>GIVE IT TO MICHAEL BAY.
>>YEP. >>OKAY, TEDDY, THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
STORY TELLING IS BASED ON ARTISTIC INTEGRITY. YOU HAVE TO SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN.
>>WHOA, WE SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN AND THE WHOLE NATION CRUMBLES.
YOUR POLITICIANS NEED US. >>WHAT?
>>HEY MR. SENATOR. >>TEDDY, HOW ARE YOU?
>>I'M DOING GOOD. >>OKAY, SO LOOK HERE WE HAVE THREE EMBEZZLEMENTS,
TWO SCANDALS, A DEBT CRISIS, AND WHOLE LOT OF CAMPAIGN CORRUPTION.
SO WE'RE GOING TO NEED A LOT OF REALLY GREAT STORIES TO GO.
>>OKAY. THERE YOU GO.
>>AH. SMELLS BELIEVABLE.
LET'S GO.
