Hey guys! You're about to
watch a compilation of all of our
airplane sketches. When we aired this on TV,
this was our 100th episode, and it was meant to be
watched just the way you're about to watch it right
now, not broken up but together. All in order. There's some things
that you will see that you have never seen before
when you watched these sketches individually on
YouTube previously, so get ready for
some new things. Oh, my. [knocking] Have a seat. You seem very qualified in
the air. I just have a few other
questions, I'd like to ask you. Okay. Sure. I'm happy to answer any
questions you have. Great. I'd like you to speak into
this microphone and read what's on this prompt. Okay. Sure. [clears throat] Ladies and gentlemen, ahhh, thanks again for flying
with UpHigh Airlines. We're about an hour and a
half from our destination with wonderful weather
showing on the scanner of about 75 degrees with<i>
seven mile per hour winds.</i> Thank you for flying UpHigh
Airlines. [mouth click] <i> Great.</i> I noticed a sigh in there. <i> How long can you sigh?</i> Oh. [sigh begins] [timer beep] [sigh continues] [sigh continues] [sigh continues] [sigh continues] [timer beeps] A little below average
but you'll get the hang of it. <i> Next question,</i> you're a
little off course and you need to make a slight
adjustment but you know the passengers
are going to notice. What do you do? Um, blame it on turbulence
and turn on the seatbelt sign. Excellent. Can you demonstrate that for
me? <i> Sure.</i> Ladies and gentlemen, [sigh] [indistinct] <i> seats are up</i> [indistinct] tray tables [indistinct] <i> turbulence</i> [sigh] [indistinct] try and make sure [indistinct] seatbelts. Bing. [Indistinct] <i> as comfortable.</i> <i> Thanks for flying
UpHigh Airlines.</i> Superb. Now, it's been awhile since
you've said anything and everyone's really into their
movies-- Sorry for the
interruption everyone [indistinct] technical difficulties [indistinct] flight attendants [indistinct] We'll make sure to
take care of it. Great. [continues indistinct] magazines [indistinct] Thanks for flying
UpHigh Airlines. [mouth click] Perfect. You completely passed this
part of the test. <i> I have one last question
on a different note</i> to test your problem-solving
abilities. Let's say you have<i> a 120 mile
an hour headwind</i> and your co-pilot is
unconscious, and you have
dual-engine failure. What do you do? [indistinct] What was that? [indistinct] Sorry, I'm not
getting-- [sigh] Thank you for flying
UpHigh Airlines. [mouth click] You're hired. [crowd noise] [indistinct PA announcements] I just got hired as a pilot,
I start next week. I really don't care. Okay. [beeping] <i> Ma'am, I'm going to need
you to come over here.</i> You know you can't take
this on the flight, right? Oh, I'm so sorry, it
won't happen again. <i> Okay.</i> Now, I'm just going to have
to do a routine check on the rest of the
bag, all right? Oh, yeah. Those are nail clippers. I am so sorry, okay. Uh, that's a family
heirloom, so... An heirloom! Wow! Oh my goodness,
that is beautiful! Is this mahogany? [hesitantly]: Yeah. Wow. Very nice. <i> Have you ever
played bocce ball?</i> It's pretty fun. That's what that is. [laughing] No kidding! Very cool. Uh, well, I got to get going. <i> Wait, maybe if you're free
sometime, we could hang out?</i> Yeah, maybe. Cool. <i> Oh, we're going to have to
check that, though.</i> You used to be cool, man. [body bag thuds] [beeping] Sir, can you come over
here, please? Yeah. [unzipping] [mints rattling] Those are just mints. It says curiously strong. That's dangerous. <i> There's nothing
wrong with that.</i> The barrel on
this is too big. I was just planning on
shooting some-- Shooting?! Confiscated. <i> What?</i> No, I was just... Hi-res? Not bad, I'll get some
nice shots with that. <i> Sir?</i> These are flammable. What size are they? 34. These are fine. That, however,
will have to go. You can't just take my child! You're going to be late
for your flight, sir. <i> Announcer:Last call for flight
100 to Seattle.</i> I'm so sorry. [baby cooing] <i> Announcer:Now boarding
passengers in zone one.</i> You want some? [beeping] Sir, I'm going to need you
to come over here. What's the problem? There's something we picked
up on the full-body scanner. Well, it's wrong. I don't have anything on me. It's not that. [dramatic music begins] The scanner picked
up something around your esophagus that needs
to be operated on immediately. The scanner couldn't
possibly pick that up. The scanner is
never wrong, sir. Now listen to me
very carefully, we have a protocol for this
kind of situation. I got to go to the
hospital, then! There's no time for that! Now we have 911 on the line and we're prepared to do the
operation on the conveyor belt. I confiscated this. [drill whirring] We can't do the surgery
here, I'll die! Not on my watch. If there's any team that can
do this for you, it's the TSA. You really think so? [laughing] No, no. I actually stopped you
because you're a minority. What? Well, you know the drill. [high five] >>Excuse me. >>Uh, sir? Mind if I take
that toothpick? It can be used
as a weapon. Miss? >>Yeah? >>You can store those
under the seat. >>Oh, thank you. Whitney:<i> Welcome aboard
Up High Airlines</i> Flight 100, with jet service to Seattle. <i> Please make sure your
seat back and tray table</i> <i> are in the upright
and locked position.</i> Man:<i> Oh no!</i> <i> What if they aren't?</i> <i> Is the plane going to crash?</i> Aah! [laughs] <i> Whitney:Um, check
that all carry-ons</i> <i> are placed under the seat
in front of you--</i> Man:<i> What kind of carry-ons
even fit under the seats?</i> Like, mouse luggage? [laughs] Whitney:<i> Well, if the seats
are too cramped,</i> <i> you can leave a comment
on our website, UpHigh.com.</i> <i> Now, in your seat back pocket--</i> [clears throat] The website's actually
FlyUpHigh.com. Whitney:<i> Okay, sir.</i> <i> Yeah, 5D.</i> <i> Are you heckling a safety
demonstration?</i> >><i> The one at United
was</i> way better. They had a scorpion. Whitney:<i> That wasn't on purpose.</i> Man:Boo! <i> You guys are the worst
U.S. Airlines in the U.S!</i> Whitney:<i> Wrong!</i> <i> We're the second-worst
U.S. Airline.</i> <i> Maybe get your facts straight
before you spill your stupid</i> <i> all over my speech.</i> What did you say? Whitney:<i> Uh, is your Nickelback
playing too loudly?</i> <i> I said you are unintelligent.</i> <i> Unintelligent!</i> <i> Try spelling that in your head.</i> <i> That should shut you up
for at least a few minutes</i> <i> so I can finish my demo.</i> Natalie:<i> Sit down!</i> I have a family
to get home to. Whitney:<i> Who threw that?</i> <i> You want to try it again?</i> <i> Throw it at my face
this time!</i> <i> I dare you!</i> [crowd booing] <i> Yeah,</i> what you going to
do now, Mr. Girly Man-Voice? Whitney:<i> Okay,
what's your name, sir?</i> Jiggy. Whitney:<i> Jiggy?</i> <i> Okay, this is going to be easy.</i> <i> Uh, is that a family name</i> <i> or did your mom just really
hate you?</i> Jiggy:<i> Actually,
it was my</i> dad's name. He, uh... He passed away
before I was born. All: Aw. Whitney:<i> I am so sorry.</i> [mocking]<i> Are you going
to cry about it?</i> Oh, I'm going to
destroy you. Whitney:<i> Come at me, bro.</i> <i> Hit me as hard as you can.</i> <i> As hard as you possibly can!</i> [thud] <i> Is that all you got?</i> <i> You hit like a girl!</i> <i> No, no, wait.</i> <i> You hit like your late father!</i> <i> Oh, gettin' jiggy with it!</i> [punches landing] <i> My nose isn't even
all the way broken.</i> >>All right, Air Marshal. I'm detaining you. [zapping] Whitney:<i> You can't stop me!</i> <i> YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL ME!</i> >>That's for the judge
to decide. Whitney:<i> The judge is a pansy!</i> >>He's my best friend! [crowd applauding] Whitney:<i> Sorry
about that, folks.</i> <i> We're working to get this
flight underway so you can</i> all get home to Seattle! >>Thank goodness. That dude was a jerk. [applause continues] Hmm. [ding] Pilot:<i> All right, folks, we've
reached our cruising altitude.</i> <i> Feel free to turn on
any electronic devices</i> <i> and access our in-flight Wi-Fi.</i> <i> Thank you.</i> Sorry. I was totally zoning out
on your text. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I do that too
sometimes. [both laugh] Um, were you just, um...? No, no, I was laughing
at a stewardess. Is it because
of my nose? What? No... I knew it. I'm sorry. I just read too much
the first time and I got sucked in,
you know? It's<i> very</i> interesting. Like when your dad said
that the car accident might not have been
an accident, I was like,
"What is that about?" And when he said he's going
to find the guys who did it, I was like, "This dude
is Liam Neeson." Stop reading my texts. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm being so nosy. <i> Are you talking</i>
about me again? No. Nose? No! She has issues. Yeah, so do you. Stay out of my business. You're right. I'm sorry. I will give you
some privacy, okay? Good night. Good night. That is it! What is wrong with you? I'm sorry! I'm just so curious! I need a distraction. Here. I got a magazine. I will leave you be. Why? That is it. I'm not strong
enough. I will go to the bathroom. Leave you totally alone. I'm so sorry. What in the world? The bathroom
was occupied! You have a problem. <i> I know.</i> I promise I will stop. Just tell me
what happens after he hits the guy
with a tire iron. Wait, what? You might not have gotten
to that part yet. No. Okay. I'm sorry, I have
to change seats. No, no, no! Please, it's not my fault! Social media has
made me too invested in peoples'
personal lives! Just tell me how it ends,
please! Man! Now I'll never know. <i> NOSE?</i> Oh! Excuse me, sir? There's a first class
passenger experiencing some discomfort in
his current seat, would it be alright
if he sat here? He's not going to
throw up on me, is he? Oh, no, he's harmless. Okay, well then, sure. Sir, you can
have a seat here. <i> [horror music]</i> You going to sit? You must invite me to sit. It's okay. I invite you to sit. <i> Can I get you any snacks,
or anything to drink?</i> <i> Can I get a</i> virgin
Bloody Mary please? I like the sound of that. I'll have one as well! [sniffs] [gags] <i> Yeesh.</i> This blood is terrible. It's actually
just tomato juice. Oh, well then it's pretty
good for tomato juice. It's impolite to stare. Sorry. What is your name? Jeremy. What's yours? Vlad. The scourge of Wallachia. Where are you from? Detroit. What are you
doing in Seattle? What are you, some
sort of question man? <i> Do you work</i>
for the census? No, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. <i> Where</i> are
you from? South Dakota.. What is your pant size? I didn't ask you that. <i> What is your
mother's</i> maiden name? Van Helsing. [hissing] Excuse me. <i> Sir, I need you</i> <i>
to take your seat.</i> Guess how old I am. [sigh] I don't know. 37? <i> Wrong.</i> 38. Well, you look great. You want to know my secret? A healthy diet. Wow. <i> And I love</i>
Mexican food. I'm not Mexican. I love Chinese food. I'm not Chinese either. I love, I--Irish food? No, no. Excuse me. <i> Sir, I need you</i> to
stay in your seat. Okay, yeah, alright,
I will, I just-- I'm sorry, but I changed my mind. I'd rather that guy
not sit next to me. What's the problem? I'm 96 percent certain
that he's a vampire. <i> Rabbit!
[growling]</i> [hissing] 99%. Sir, I think you're
just being racist. No, I'm not. Yep. You're a racist. No. A big old racist. LOOK! Okay, I'm not racist. I think he might
be a little racist, but that's further
down the list, alright, my point is,<i> I feel
legitimately threatened,</i> and I am asking you,
begging you, because you are the only
person on this plane with any authority to help me. I have authority. I'm an air marshall. Will you help me? No. <i> I'm going to pretend</i>
you didn't just do that. Ah! [hissing] <i> Sir, I need you to
stay in your seat.</i> 12B threw up during takeoff. Ugh. You always know! I can spot the weak ones. Alright, folks, we're going
to do one last lap to collect trash, but please get into your seats
with seat belts buckled to prepare for landing. [ding] Man:<i> Uh, ladies and
gentlemen,</i> <i> this is your captain
speaking.</i> <i> We're beginning
our descent now,</i> <i> uh, estimated time of arrival
in Sea-Tac Airport</i> <i> is 7:30 AM, local time.</i> Man 2:<i> Uh, what
are you doing, John?</i> John:<i> Oh, just making sure
the intercom is off.</i> <i> Sometimes that button sticks,
but I think I got it.</i> Man 2:<i> So how's your ex-wife?</i> John:<i> [chuckles]
Same old hag as always.</i> <i> She's just the worst, Roberts.</i> Roberts:<i> Real piece of work.</i> John:<i> I just-
can I be honest?</i> <i> I wish she'd get
electrocuted.</i> <i> I'm not even going to lie.</i> What's going on- ah! John:<i> Some weird-looking people
on this flight today, right?</i> Roberts:<i> Right?</i> <i> I was really watching
and I thought</i> <i> they were all uggos
to be honest.</i> John:<i> Wow, I had
the same thought.</i> <i> That dude with the dog shirt,
I mean,</i> <i> was his face even a face?</i> <i> [both laugh]</i> Captain Hansen,
copilot Roberts? Roberts:<i> Ugh, what
does Cheryl want now?</i> John:<i> I locked the door
so we wouldn't have to see</i> <i> that dumb look on her face
whenever she's like</i> <i> [southern drawl]
"Captain Hansen?</i> <i> Eh-eh-eh!</i> <i> Copilot Roberts?"</i> Roberts:<i> We're busy, Cheryl!</i> John:<i> Woo.</i> <i> My painkillers are
starting to kick in.</i> <i> I'm on a pretty hefty amount
of Percocet</i> <i> from my knee surgery.</i> Roberts:<i> Um, sir, you're not
even supposed to drive</i> <i> when you're on painkillers.</i> John:<i> Oh really?</i> <i> Well I feel fine, other
than the blurry vision.</i> <i> Look out, there's a bird!</i> <i> Oh, no, sorry Roberts, that
was just my hand</i> <i> in front of my face.</i> <i> [laughing]</i> <i> Well shoot.</i> <i> Guess I've always got you to
land the plane for me, though!</i> <i> [laughing]</i> Roberts:<i> Well, uh,
hopefully not!</i> <i> I've never actually landed
a plane before.</i> <i> My instructor died before
we got to that part</i> <i> because I crashed the plane.</i> John:<i> Whoa!</i> <i> You're an animal, Roberts!</i> Roberts:<i> What can I say?</i> <i> Oh, John, are you okay?</i> <i> I think we're tilting.</i> John:<i> No, it's just
my muscle relaxant.</i> <i> I feel so relaxed right now.</i> Captain Hansen? John:<i> LEAVE US BE, CHERYL!</i> <i> BOYS WILL BE BOYS!</i> Roberts:<i> John,
I was serious</i> <i> when I said I couldn't
land this plane,</i> <i> and I don't think
you're supposed</i> <i> to lean on the
control board like that.</i> John:<i> But it's warming
my belly fat, Roberts!</i> Roberts:<i> Okay.</i> <i> Your drool is shorting out
the circuits, sir.</i> [beeping] <i> Why would you need to
take off your belt right now?</i> John:<i> I can't sleep with my
pants on, Roberts.</i> <i> It's very uncomfortable.</i> <i> AH, WE'RE CRASHING!</i> Roberts:<i> John, John!</i> <i> We're nowhere near
the ground yet.</i> John:<i> NO, THAT IS DEFINITELY
THE GROUND!</i> <i> Oh, wait, no, you're right.</i> <i> That's just a cloud.</i> <i> WAIT, NO, IT'S THE GROUND!</i> <i> Oh, yeah, you're right.</i> <i> Hey, hey, Roberts.</i> <i> I never told you this,
but, uh,</i> <i> I'm proud to call you
my daughter.</i> Roberts:<i> Sir, please take
your hand off my face.</i> [screams] Roberts:<i> Sir?</i> <i> John?</i> <i> John, oh my goodness,
John, are you dead?</i> <i> Oh, he's dead!</i> <i> We're going down!</i> Hey, aren't you a pilot? [indistinct mumbling] Roberts:<i> OH, MAN,
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!</i> <i> I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN THE SKY AND THE SEA</i> ! [all screaming] [ding] <i> Hey, folks, we are
just experiencing</i> <i> some slight turbulence</i> <i> but we should be free
and clear in a moment.</i> <i> MAY HEAVEN GRANT ME SERENITY!</i> <i> MAY I GO PEACEFULLY AND THE
PASSENGERS DIE</i> <i> IN WHATEVER WAY ALLOWS ME
TO DIE PEACEFULLY!</i> [grunting] Roberts:<i> CHERYL!</i> <i> YOU'RE SO ANNOYING BUT
I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.</i> <i> CAPTAIN IS DEAD.</i> Cheryl:<i> He's just passed out,
Roberts!</i> <i> Get out of the way!</i> <i> I'm landing this thing!</i> [intense music] [wailing] [wailing] [music stops] Roberts:<i> Cheryl,
you saved us!</i> [slap] <i> Ah!</i> <i> My face!</i> This is why we're not
together anymore, John. [applause] Thanks for
watching, guys! Please
subscribe. Yes, and comment on this
video and give it a like. Yes, let us know
in the comments if you would like to see
more things like this where all the sketches
kind of tie together, that was really
fun for us. But we don't have to do
it if you're not into it, so let us know! Yeah, if you just, like,
prefer your sketches small. And separate. We get that, small
and separate! Just like-- Just holla,
let us know. Mhmm.
