- Howdy, folks! [laughs] Here at Studio C we have
a slew of lovable characters. - Yeah, we do! - Characters that we've
all grown to just... love! - They're so sweet. - Yeah! Steven, who's your favorite-- This guy. Look at him! - Okay. Well, um, he's not in
the compilation, but you guys should
comment, like, tell us what you think,
and enjoy the show. - Enjoy it. [squeaking] [applause] - Where are we, honey? - Well, I know how much
you love bisque, so for our anniversary, I found
the best bisque place around. - You are the greatest
woman alive. Seriously, I love bisque. It's like, you, bisque. You, bisque. And you, you always win. - Yes. - You always win. - That's right. Okay. [bell dings] - Hey, hi, hello. Hi, guys. Welcome to my restaurant
of food. Would you guys like
something to eat? - Yeah, we heard you have
really good bisque. - Bisque! - Yeah, so what
can you tell us-- - Tomato bisque. Do you like tomatoes? - Yeah, yeah. - Mushroom bisque. - Oh, my favorite. - Asparagus bisque. - Not so much. - Lettuce bisque. - You have a lettuce bisque? Bisque Man: Oh,
you like lettuce? Okay, well, let's see. A lettuce risotto, maybe? Lettuce wrap. Lettuce... salad. - No, could we go back
to the soup? That sounded really good. - Bisque? - Yeah, especially the
mushroom one. - Shrimp bisque. Lobster bisque! - No, like I said,
the mushroom one. - World famous lobster
bisque. - That's great. I don't like seafood. - Ryan Reynolds. You know that guy? - Yeah. Bisque Man: Hmm? Charles Barkley? Hmm? You know him too? Jim Carrey? - Yeah, you're just naming
famous people. - They like it. - They like what? - Lobster bisque! Five stars! Five thumbs up! Five... children... Mallory: You know what? I, that sounds really,
really good. I will get that, and then
Stephen will get something else. Bisque Man: Oh. Oh, that's a good choice,
okay. - Yeah, could I have the
mushroom bisque? That sounded good. - Yeah. - Mushroom, okay. What kind of mushrooms,
please? - You have have more than one
kind of mushroom? - Portobello, shiitake, white mushroom,
brown mushroom. - I don't really know the
difference, so-- - Wild mushroom, cremini,
poisonous mushroom. - Wait, what do you--
what do you mean, poisonous? - It's not fatal. The poison is boiled out. Obviously. - Okay. Um, well which one would you
suggest out of those, then? - Lobster bisque. - Of course. Okay. Um, no. Could I get, like,
all of them? - You want 27 bowls of soup? - No, sorry. I mean, just mix all of the
mushrooms in one bisque? - What do you think this is,
a stinking buffet? - Portobello. Let's go with portobello,
is that all right? - [mumbling] That's a choice,
yeah. All right, guys. That's $12.56. - It's on me, so,
here you go. - Ah, the card, and the
swipey-swipey. Okay, and that's uh,
authorized. Okay. You may have, please have
a seat at the table, and you can use the chairs
if you want. I'll be right back. - I'm sorry, I guess they
have a lot of soup options. - Yeah, seriously. Kind of crazy. - Um, hey guys, hi. Uh, so, lis-- Hey, oh,
how's the food? - Oh, it's good,
it's excellent. - It's good? Okay. Hi. I apologize for the
inconvenience, but we are out of all of
the portobello bisque. - Okay. Um, that's fine, I will have
any other kind of mushroom, thank you. - Um. I apologize for the
inconvenience, but we are out of all of
the mushrooms bisque. - Seriously? - Yes. - Okay, um, tomato. Let's go with tomato. That sounds fine, yeah. - Okay. I just-- - Yeah, no, no, I don't
care what kind of tomato. Roma? Let's go with Roma. - There's only one kind of
tomato bisque. - I will have that one,
please! - But... I apologize for the great
inconvenience-- - You're out of that
one too, okay. What do you have? - Lobster bisque! [audience cheering] - Don't worry, babe, my parents
are gonna love you. Yeah, just come over here
and meet them. All right. [doorbell rings] - Okay, I'll see you soon. Bye. - Hello, little brother. [audience cheering] - What are you
doing here? I have mom and dad tonight. - I just wanted to meet your
woman, bro-ham. - Fine, but you better be
really nice to her and to me, otherwise you've got to go. - Do you want me to make like
a tree and leaves? - You done? - Get it? 'Cause of the leaves. - That doesn't make sense. - Mother. - My favorite son! Give your mother a kiss! - Mwah! - Your father will be so
happy. Chris! Chris! - Trish! - Chris! - Trish, what is it, Trish? - Chris, put down that whisk
and get in here. - Trish, your wish list is
fiscally irresponsible. My favorite son! - Ah-ha! Hey, uh, mother, I brought
you a gift. - Oh! - Do you realize
what this is? - Hibiscus? - Yes. I ate like five of them. - Mitch! Mitch! Where's Mitch? - Mom, Dad died
five years ago! - Oh, that's right. Mitch died in a ditch. And now he's got
the postmortems. - Granny made her famous
lobster bisque. - [laughs] - Why do you always
have to make his favorite, even tonight? You know I hate bisque. - You are a disgrace
to this family. - You are around bisque 24/7. Don't you ever get sick
of the stuff? - Do you ever get sick
of breathing? [stuttering] - Tisk, tisk. - Golly. - It's not your fault, son. We dropped you on your head
as a child. - That's right. I was running a marathon
with you in my arms and I tore my
meniscus and tripped. Sorry if it made you such
a fish out of water. - We probably shouldn't
have had you listen to all that classical
music as a child. - You should have listened
to Limp Bizkit like me. - Yes. - That's what made me
so sociable. - Sociable, yeah. Hey, wait, what happened to
that blind date I set you up on, with Veronica? - Veronica? Oh, I guess that
was her name. - That was supposed to be
tonight, what happened? - I got distracted. - Beautiful. - Lah! Tricky stitch. - Ah. Who wants to play
a super fun game? Ah, yes. - What-- what are we playing? - Risk! - Well, I am pretty good
at Risk, so. - Well, at least there's one
thing you're good at. - What is that supposed
to mean? - You're a loser. - Okay. Just because I don't own
my own business doesn't mean I-- - Bisque- ness! - Ah. - I did graduate from
Harvard this year, if anyone remembers that. - Yeah, in puh-sychology. - Neurosurgery! - Ugh. Puh-sychology. Puh-surgery. They're the puh-same thing. - No, they are not. I also took the Harvard
football team to four bowls in the last four years, so. - How many bowls of bisque did
I sell in the last four years? - Those are not even
comparable. Bisque Family: 6,266! - Mitch! Mitch! - We are so proud of you,
honey. - I know. It's just... - Just wait until my
girlfriend gets here, and then you'll be
proud of me too. - We are proud of you. - Why? [doorbell rings] - Hey. Everyone,
this is my girlfriend. - [Bisque voice] Hello,
family of Stephen, hi! All: Hi, hi guys, hi. - It is my pleasure to meet
you and your acquaintances. Acquaintances, yes, yes. I brought a delicious dish
of biscuits that-- Oh, oh, ope. I left it in my Civic. [laughs] Let me get them,
I'll be brisk! [stammering] All right, yeah. - So, what do you guys think? - Well, wow, Stephen. You found a weirdo! - Yeah! [audience cheering] - Please, Green Man,
just let me go! I don't have anything that
you want! - That's where you're wrong,
missy! Ha-ha! - What are you talking about? - Ironically, working in my
laboratory, the nuke-ular weapon
is finally complete after it had been working good
in my laboratory for hours. I am literally tickled
thinking about it. [laughs maliciously] [thud] - Who's there? - Captain Literally. - Captain Irony! - Nuclear Ninja. - Good and Well Duo. - And Dangling
Participle Dude. - Everything was wrong with
that sentence, so-- Wait, who are you? - Dangling Participle Dude. - Everyone's heard of him, but no one actually
knows what he does. - Whatever. You broke all the rules,
so now you're gonna pay. - There was nothing ironic about
the sentence you just used; you just tacked the word
"ironically" in front of it. Irony taught! - You said "good." - When you should've said
"well." Good and Well Duo:
Good and well are different! - [giggling] - There. Literally tickled! Balance restored! - Bruh. Your participles were
dangling all over the place. Dangle shmangle. [ominous music] - [scoffs] Seriously? Is that all you guys do? You guys are pathetic. [thud] - You ever mispronounce
the word "nuclear" again, you will suffer. Because I'll punch you again. - Wait! I think he's still conscious
back there. Aren't you gonna untie me? - Oh. Yeah, we're not really those
kinds of superheroes. But, if you ever have an
egregious grammatical error, we'll be there. He's waking up! Heroes: [screaming] - Thanks. ♪♪ ♪♪ - Well, I didn't-- - Hey, Matt. - Hey, Whit. How, it's good to see you. - Yeah. Who's this? - What? This is, uh, Mallory. - Oh, is this your friend
from work? ♪♪ ♪♪ [thud] Mallory: Uh, what was that? Do you guys have
some sort of history, or were you dating, or? Were you dating her
when we started dating? - No. - Don't lie to me. - Well, I'm not, it's just-- ♪♪ ♪♪ [thud] ♪♪ - Ah, I hate this library. - Say what you will about the
smell and the service, they have the best selection
in the state. - Let's get your book and
let's get out of here. - Need help finding
your books? - Uh, yes, do you work here? - Yes, I'm Ann Whithers. - Enn? - Ann. - Enn? - Ann! - Enn. - Ann! Ann! Ann! - Oh, Ann. - Yes, Ann. - Yes, well, I just need to find
a book to write a report on. - Mmm, books. Must get your heart racing
just thinking about it. - What? - It's like finding a new
friend... or more. - I'm gonna go. - What? No, you can't go,
you're my ride. - Was your ride. Was. - So. What are you looking for? - Uh, actually, I'm not
really sure. - Mmm. Classics? - Uh, what about this book
over here? - Oh, yes! - Oh, my goodness. - The House of Seven Gables. Yes, your taste in literature
is exquisite. Have you read
Dante's Inferno? - No. - Mm-hmm-hmm. - Okay. - You know, Matthew, this
library is a secret garden for all who enter. - Ah, haha, I see what
you did there. That's clever. - But for anybody experiencing
pride and prejudice, you might find happiness
with little women. - Actually, I'm not really
into romance novels. - Mmm. So you have a heart
of darkness? - I wouldn't say that, or at
least not the way you said it. Perhaps you could be won over
with some persuasion? - I don't think so. - Mmm. Well, aren't you a little fox
in socks? - You know what, I think I'm
fine just browsing on my own. - You sure? You wouldn't like me to
carry anything for you? - No, thank you, I'm fine. - Well, I'll be over there, so just twitter your fingers
if you need me. Mmm. - Uh. I need to get a Kindle. - As you like it! - What? - Shh! No need to get faust-y
with me. - What are you doing? You can't pop out of nowhere
like that. - 'Scourse. I was lacking sense
and sensibility. - Okay, you know what, how
about this book right here? - Hmm, well,
rather frightful. But you know, you shouldn't
judge a book by its cover. - Oh. Okay, listen, Enn. - Ann! - I think I'm all
settled here. - You know, I've noticed
you often, strolling the aisles of the
poetry section. - So? - I could spot you as a poet. Who wrote that one poem,
what was it? Hmm. Tenderly, my arms
entreat you. I'll sweet glide on wings
of charm. Me. Me, yes, I wrote that. For you. Right now. - Okay. Thank you, Enn. - Ann. - Uh, but I've got the book
that I need, so I'm just gonna go home
and read "Call of the Wild." - [growls] - Okay. Thank you, Enn. - Yes, it's Ann. - I really should be going. - Well, I look forward
to your return to the world of knowledge. - Yes, very good. - Read Dante's Inferno. [audience laughing] [audience cheering] - Hey, honey, how was
trick-or-treating tonight? - It was a nightmare. - Did he hurt anyone? - That child is inhuman. Give him a sixlet and it's
like the Hulk married the Hulk and had a Hulk baby. - Honey, he's asleep now,
right? - When I sent him to bed
without any Smarties, the glint in his eye made me
fear for my life. - What about the rest
of the candy? Did you freeze it
in a block of ice? - Yes. - And then padlock it
in the freezer? - Yes. - The one in the basement? - Yes. - The hidden one
in the basement? - Yes. - And the key, where is it? - It's right he-- Oh, no. - Honey. - Shh. Do you hear that? - No. - All is silent as the grave. - Kyle? - Kyle, buddy, where you at,
Kyle? [sinister noises] - What was that? - K-K-K-Kyle, honey, it's
time to get you to bed. - There he is! - [screams] Kyle? - Hi, mom! Parents: [scream] - Dad took me
trick-or-treating, and when he was
tucking me to bed, I saw a key in his pocket,
so I secretly gnawed it out with my teeth. The squirrels taught me how. I am their king. - Okay, Kyle, buddy, I need
you to stay focused. Where is the key, Kyle? - I flew all the way down
to the basement! Quiet as a mouse,
quiet as a mouse. I saw the freezer,
opened it with the key, dug through the ice
with my fingers, and I got the Butterfingers! - Kyle, I need you to focus,
buddy. How many did you eat? How many did you eat?! - My cheeks make the sound
of African drums. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! - Kyle, please, come back! No! - Kyle! - What are we gonna do? - I don't know! Kyle! - [screaming] Do you know how
many grams of sugar are in the Kit Kat? 20. 20 grams. But that doesn't include
the wrapper, and I ate that, too. 20 grams of sugar
times a pillowcase full gives me superpowers! I made this jungle! [shrieks] - Please, Kyle, we
need to get you to bed! - Our son, why?! Look at this place. All: [screaming] - Blessed Halloween! - No, Kyle, not the
chocolate syrup! No! - No, please! - More, more! - Kyle. Kyle. - Kyle, baby, why don't we
eat some vegetables, eh? - Never! [growling] - He's gone rabid, honey! - No, not the Pixy Stix! All: [screaming] - Honey, honey! Honey! His Adderall! No, Kyle! - I am the ruler
of this jungle! - Please, please, no! Honey, hurry,
[incomprehensible screaming]! - I will disguise it in the
Reese's Pieces! Here! Reese's! - What's happening? My powers... - Good, Kyle. Good. - Have grown stronger! All: [screaming] - No! Ah! Ah! [breathing heavily] Oh. Ah. Ah. - Cool. Now I have two keys. [audience cheering] - Amanda and I
just want to thank you all for braving the snow to come
celebrate our wedding today. - Cut the cake! Cut the cake! Cut the cake! Cut the cake! - Here we go, just... Woman: Yay! Sweetheart, did you remember
to get a sugar-free cake, too? - Oh, the bakery didn't make
sugar-free cakes. - Why would you do that? - What? I didn't think it'd be
a big deal! He's a full-grown man. He hasn't had sugar
for years. [smack] - You know nothing! Wait! Don't eat the cake, Kyle! - What's wrong, babe? - What have I done? - [screaming] Blessed sugar! My white granulated friend! - Are you feeling okay? Ah! - Isn't it so good? I feel like I could
do anything! Like pay two mortgages,
work at a law firm, raise our family of six,
and be a spider monkey! All: [screaming] - He's eating my face! - Oh, it's okay! This has happened before! Just play dead! - I can't! - Bringing a gift
for my favorite-- Oh, not today! Kyle, restrain yourself, or I'll be forced to take
the law into my-- Ahh! - Kyle, where did you get
that hat? I thought we burned it
years ago. - That was a decoy! I keep the real one
in my sock! I propose a toast! Where does the term "toast"
come from? Should we all be raising
slices of bread? How do you drink toast? If I can liquify toast
and drink it, I would say, to the end
of forever! - It's actually a really nice
toast. - Honey, we have to do
something! - Where's the getaway car? - We have a horse-drawn
sleigh! - Even better! When the horses break down,
we can use them as alternative
sources of food! [whinnies] - You're a monster! - It's time for the first
dance! - Uh... Honey, we need to do
something. - I hate it. - I'm sorry. - No, please, stop it. - It's just this is the only
time they'll have a first dance. - Stay focused! - Okay. - Kyle, don't you dare lick
that ice sculpture! Kyle! No! Kyle, it's your wedding day,
man! You have a PhD! - My taste buds are gone! Ice! - Ahh! - What dark magic is this? Never-ending chocolate? - Kyle, no! It's too much! You may never come back! - My life has led me to ths
moment! - Kyle! Not the fondue, Kyle! - I feel so alive! Merry Christmas to all,
and to all, Reese's Pieces! - Maybe Kyle and I would be
better off adopting. - Kyle was adopted. - I was? Cool, now I have two moms! [audience cheering] - Hey. How far have you gone? - Oh, me? - Yeah, how many miles? - I'm on mile nine. - Nice! Way to keep the pace going. I'm using dying by like
mile 20. I'm training for a marathon. [whistling] [mumbling singing] - Oh, what have we got here? A nice little lady. A n-- oh, oh. No, no. [mumbling] Look at me here. Look at me here. [monkey noises] - So, uh, you do
any marathons? - Yeah, a few. - I knew it. I could tell. - I knew it. I could tell. I failed college. Her-d-der-der-der. - Excuse me? - Hup. Check it out. Ah, uh-huh. It's nice having a brain. You should try it some time. - So, uh, you training
for an Ironman, or maybe just an Ironwoman? - Huh. Nope, just trying to
stay in shape. - [mumbling] Stay in shape,
seen it time and time again. [sniffs] Time and time again. - Can I help you? - Huh? Oh, no, just, uh... Giving my friend
some exercise. - Yeah, well maybe
you can do your exercises somewhere else, bro. - Uh, it's not really a person,
it's just a mop. - Yeah, I know it's not a
person, okay? I'm not an idiot. Hey, so we're getting this
group together to do this Ragnar race,
and I was wondering, you know, if you would like-- - Oh. - Bro. - I'm just cleaning. - What is your deal? - Well, it's closed. What can I say? - Whatever, man. - Yeah. Anywho. So like I said,
got some dirt there. - Hey, what? What are you doing? Don't touch that! Stop! - Oh, oh, oh whoops! - No! - Let me fix it! - Cut it out! - What did I do? Oh-ho-ho! Is that too fast for you,
buddy? - No. It's not too fast. I can go this fast
if I want to, I just don't want to, okay? - Ho-ho, yeah. - Yeah, that's my drink, bro. - Yeah, and I'll get it nice
and clean. [clicks tongue] Nice and
clean for you. - Isn't that toxic? - No, no, no. It's o-- Potentially. - What? [heavy breathing] So anyways,
like I was saying. Wh-- Ah! Dude, you forgot to wipe off
your stupid spray! - Uh, careful. Piso mojado. - Are you okay? - I am now. With you. - Okay, just be careful. - Okay. So, uh, like I was saying,
there's a Ragnar race in a couple months. - [mumbling] Gotta
keep it clean, gotta keep it nice and clean. Get all that sweat off. - Wow, do you lift all those
just to clean them? - Well, yes. It's a dirty job. Someone's got to do it. - It's not that heavy. - Oh, yeah. Check if it's clean? - Okay. [groans] [metal clangs] - So, are our facilities
clean enough for you? - Uh, yeah, it's always
really nice. - Oh, good. Tried the hot yoga? [clicks tongue] - Really,
that sounds hard. - Well, yeah, yeah. - It's not that hard. Namaste. Ah, dude! Bro! - My bad, my bad, my bad. Hold that for me. - What do you-- - Yeah, hot yoga
made me more flexible than a rubber band. [snaps] - Ow! Dude! Listen. A group of us, my friends,
we're doing a Ragnar race in a couple months and we need
one more person. - Oh, uh, that could be fun. - Yeah, so like, do you
want to join our team? Assuming you're fast enough,
haha. - Oh... - Oh-hoh, hey. [mumbling] Ragnar, huh? You're not going very fast. - Shouldn't you be cleaning
something? - Uh, cleaning the floor
with your face. - That is it! All right, I'm not losing
to a stupid janitor! - Bro, do you even run? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Come on! Oh, yeah! [audience cheering] - Come on, bro. - Um, I'm gonna go check out
that class. - Wait, wait, wait! Whoa! Ah. - Well, looks like my work
here is done. - Hey, hey. So somebody just threw up
on the bench press, so-- - Oh. - Wait. You don't work here. - I'm just gonna... - No, no! Don't take that cart. That's our cart. No. No. - Ha! - Hey! Hey! [audience cheering] - How are
you guys enjoying it? - You loving it? - They are so lovable? - So much fun. - I mean, I could just kiss
each and every one of them on the mouth. - Mm, you can, but
maybe shouldn't. - Give me this cam-- - No, no, roll! Just keep rolling! - Gimme this TV! - I think she's unrealistic. - You know, she's got
some spunk. - No, I think they would
break her in half. - Okay. Maybe on the next date,
you pick the movie, then. - Oh, yeah? On the, on the next date? - Yeah. - That's the fourth date. That's official. - Things seem to be going
pretty well. - Yeah? - Am I the only one that
thinks that? - No, I think so. You've got a... got some popcorn. - Do I actually have some
popcorn? - No, I just wanted to
touch your face. - Was that-- [both giggling] - Aw, yeah! Hmm, hm-hm! [both chuckling] - People are stupid. - Yeah. [harp music] - Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah, yeah, yeah! Aww, yeah! Yeah! Aww, aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, that's it! - Do you know her? - No, I thought you knew her. - Oh, I-- No, I don't. Okay. [tires squealing] Aww, yeah! - Madam, please! - Don't do that. - Why are you smiling
like that? Don't smile like-- - That's, oh-- Don't, don't do that. - Aww. Yeah. - No, all the way up. - Aww! - No. - Yeah! [heavy breathing] - Okay. - Oh, come on! - That is excessive. Can you please move along? - She's getting the
sweaty hand. - Can you please go? - Oh, oh. - Aww, yeah! - That was just--
Why don't we go? - Yeah. Yeah, maybe a good idea. - Okay. All right. - Aww, yeah! - If we want to be-- - Aww, yeah! - How is she doing that? - Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! - J-- How in the world? - Aww, yeah! - What?! - Aww, yeah! - We shouldn't let it
bother us. - Aww! - Just, you know-- - Yeah, let's just-- - Yeah! - Seriously freaking me out. - Aww, yeah! - No! This is witchcraft! - Aww, yeah! - Just shut up, lady! - I swear,
I will beat you down if you come within
100 feet of us again! - Aww, yeah? Aw- aww, yeah. Aww, yeah. [groaning] Aww... yeah... Aww, yeah! - That was impressive. - [in the distance]
Aww, yeah! - Well, she was,
she ruined our moment. - No, she didn't. [magical music] Woman: Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! - No. No! - Oh. - No! - Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! Aww, yeah! - No! - Aww, yeah! [audience cheering] [news intro music] - Coming up, a local
man's documentary exposes that your
closest friends may be your family, and
the results might shock you. - But first, spring has
sprung, and with it, heaps of fun. We're going to
Roger Jennings, who's coming to us live from
Jefferson Middle School. - That's right, Chuck. I'm here at the annual
Jefferson Middle School Carnival for the Cure. And as you can see, the
festivities are in full swing. I'm here with one of the
carnival's oragnizers. Can you tell us your name? - [high-pitched] My name's
David Wainstarr with a double R. - Can you spell that? - Um, yeah. T-H-A-T. That. [laughs] - Uh, how old are you, David? - I'm 12. - Oh, I'm sorry, everyone. I thought David here
was a teacher. - That's okay,
I get that a lot. You see, my body's been going
through, um, changes. Dad says my voice has got to
catch up to the rest of my body. But don't worry,
it'll happen. - I hope so. The carnival looks
pretty fun. Do you have a favorite part
so far? - Yeah, there's a dunk tank
over there that you get to dunk your
favorite teacher in. - Did you get to dunk your
favorite teacher? - Yeah, Mr. Cannespoll. But I didn't get to dunk him. Thomas Pulpchoy said I throw
like a girl. But that's not true. Suzy Chiupinni can throw
way better than me. - Can't imagine that. - But I did play a dart game,
and I won this stuffed wampa from "The Empire Will
Strike Back." - Oh. I think it's called "The
Empire Strikes Back." - Well, they don't
really strike back until "Return of the Jedi," so I think that title's a bit
of a red herring. - It sounds like you like
Star Wars. - I love Star Wars! [audience cheering] - My favorite
is Bib Fortuna. - I don't know who or what
that is. - He's the guy that's in
Jabba's house, palace, with the things on his head, and he's got the sharp teeth,
and he goes, he's like, um... He's like... "Die wanna wanga." - Thanks. We're gonna go talk to some
other people, I think, and just see who else
is going on. How long does the carnival go
tonight, David? - Die Jabba wanga? - Okay, we're gonna maybe go
back to Chuck and Dana. - Knock, knock. Knock, knock! - Who's there? - Oh, nobody. - Nobody, who? - Nobody voted for me when
I ran for student council. I'm not very popular. - Sorry to hear that. - Oh, it's all right. I recently read a study that
said if you're popular as a kid, sometimes it leads to
problems later on in life, so hopefully that means I'll
be more adjusted as an adult than Thomas Pulpchoy. - Yeah, hopefully. - Can I tell a joke before
we-- - No, we're gonna have to go back
to the studio-- - No, I just, I want to... Um, what... What... Um... What do... - Yeah, okay, we'll-- - Okay, um. What do you get when you
cross my mom with my dad? - I'm afraid to ask. - I don't know, but my dad
said it was a mistake. - I think that's all the time
we have. Any last words, David? - Nee Jabba no badda. - Let's go back to
Chuck and Dana. I don't know. - Beauty, it's hard to be
beautiful on your face with Susan! Hello! And welcome to Beauty Tips
with Susan Weebers! I'm Susan Weebers. Today I will teach you every
tween girl's best beauty friend: the at-home perm! No perm has ever been
a mistake. Just ask my personal idol
and fitness inspiration, Richard Simmons. You can purchase it a home
perm kit at any dollar store. Some more expensive kits
come with gloves, but burned hands are a small
price to pay to look like this. Before you start your perm, make sure you don't wash
any surface of your body for at least six days. I'm serious. The perm will know
and it will retaliate. Take your product into your
han-- ow. And massage it into
the scalp. Try to avoid the ear canal. I once burned my brain,
causing temporary damage. Next, wrap it tight
with Saran wrap. One time, I used tin foil
for this, and I started to hear
the radio. Let the perm sit
for about a week. Oh, I forgot to say. Don't make any plans
for a week. I never have plans, but that's because of my
commitment to beauty. Also, Carl needs a lot
of attention. [cat howls] - Shut up, Carl,
you ungrateful wretch! Some of you may be
asking yourself, is all this fuss worth it? I think this answers
that question. Thanks for joining us, and
we'll see you next time with Susan-- [shrieks] [audience cheering] - I recite the magical
incantation of Adaladar. - The runes on the door to
the dragon's lair glow red. - Six months of questing, I can't believe
we're finally here! My character sheds
tears of joy. - Oh, critical fail. Instead of crying,
you break a leg. - That's unfortunate. [Darth Vader breathing] - [Darth Vader voice]
Luke. I am your ringtone. - Sorry, that's me, guys,
hold on, just a second. Hey, yeah, hi. Oh, just hanging out with
the guys doing manly things. Playing Dungeons and Dragons. Oh, yeah, you could come over
if you want. Sure. [mumbling] Okay, yeah,
hello, bye. - Uh, who did you invite? One cannot simply join
the Guild of Adventurers! - Huzzah, magic powers! - Relax, guys, it's just my
cousin Carly. - A girl? You can't invite a girl! My character left his formal
robes back in town five moves ago. He's a total disaster. What do I have to roll
to get him a facial. - Critical fail. - Dang it. - Besides, no facial's going
to help Damion the Stout. - He is a very attractive
gnome. - Well, according to the
Guild of Adventurers! - Huzzah, magic powers! - Charter, there are no rules
against having a girl come because we never figured
they'd actually wanna be here. - Yeah. - So I guess we'll have
to let her play. - Yeah, I guess so. Carly: Uh, Adam,
are you down here? - Yeah, come on down! Guys, this is Carly. - Ahhh. M'lady! Uh, I stand with skill
in standing and bequeath to thee
most zealous greetings. She is so hot! - I know! - Thank you. - Okay, so Carly, do we need
to make you a character? I think I have some
basic sheets. - Oh, no need, I'll just play
my character Avenglen Narado. She's a level 15
Elvin ranger, steward of the forest,
and silent huntress. [boys gasping] - Wow. - So, where are we? - Oh, the Guild of
Adventurers-- - Huzzah, magic powers. - Was just about
to open the door to the golden dragon's lair. - Okay, and I trust we have
the proper magical amulets to protect us from the dragon's
psionic abilities? - I love her. - Um, yes, we had been
meaning to get those. - Had we? We had. - I actually have three. Let's see. Avenglen puts on the amulet and the purple stone is framed
by her raven hair and flawless
alabaster skin. - Okay. - So, into the cavern, then? - Oh, yes. The dragon appears
to be sleeping. - Oh, sweet! We don't even
have to fight it! We can just take the treasure
and run! Huzzah! - Uh, so you would just
rob the dragon blind? - Jason, for shame! - But to be fair, m'lady, dragons are rather
evil creatures. Kind of like the IRS
but with wings. - Really? What do you know
of this dragon? - Well, it's a dragon. - It ate my mother once. - So you figured you know
everything about it just because of
the way it looked and the color of its skin,
is that right? - We're dragon racists. - Well, perhaps we could
talk to the dragon. - Yeah, that's fine. - Avenglen approves
wholeheartedly and she smiles at
your sweetness. - I smile back. - I smile also. - No, the most that roll will
get you is a confused look. - Okay, but, remember, the dragon will think that
you're there to fight him. So you really should leave
behind your magical weapons and enchanted armor. [boys laughing] - This is Kasetrem, the great sword
that I wrenched from the hands of the Lich King! I cannot very well
leave it here while I go and
confront the dragon! Unless you ask me again,
because I will do it. - And I wield
the Staff of the Flame, worth at least 100,000 gold, so I'm not just gonna
give that away! - Okay, well, just remember that
you can leave them with me. I'll keep them safe
in my pack. I promise you can trust me. [bites teeth together] - Ohh. We leave her our weapons. - Immediately. - No, guys, stop and think
about this. - And, to the one who shows
the most bravery, Avenglen will bestow a kiss
with her full ruby lips. - Long have I desired to be
kissed by a woman... says my character. - No. Guys, I really think this is-- - Silence! Adam! Matt and I walk into
the dragon's lair. - Bravely! - Fine. Yeah, the dragon wakes up,
sees you, and incinerates you both. - Ow. - You tricked us. The dragon wasn't
in the cavern. It was in our own company. - That was beautiful. - Thank you. - He's right! You siren, you tricked us! You took our treasure and
left us with nothing in return! - Oh, you're right. I did promise you a kiss,
didn't I? - What's happening? - [squealing] - Let the dream begin! - You are so gullible. - Ah! - Bye, boys! - Bye, Carly. - Did you see how close
we were? - I felt it. <i> [audience cheering]</i> - All right, players, gather up! Gather up. Now the team we're playing
today is brutal. Like, physically brutal. Like one of their players actively puts kids
in the hospital. But we can still win this,
am I right? All: Yeah! - I'm scared. - Okay, now here's the plan! Where's my clipboard? Anybody seen my clipboard? - Yeah, Coach. - Jimbo, why do you have
my clipboard? - Going over the plan, Coach. We're gonna win! Good clipboard plan. - Thank you. Now I-- What is this? - We're the dragons, Coach! So we burn up the enemies. Go dragons! - We're not the dragons,
we're the suns. - Oh, because suns
burn things too. - No. - Unless they have
a really high SPF. - Okay, look. Just don't draw on this
any more, all right? - Yeah, Coach. - Okay. "Go suns" on three. One, two, three, go suns! - Go dragons! - Jimbo. - Yeah, Coach? - Game's about to start. - Okay, Coach! - No, no, Jimbo,
Jimbo, Jimbo! Sit down. - Yeah, Coach. - Guys, I want Anthony
in the middle for the jump. - Yeah, good one, Coach. - Okay, hustle down! Follow 'em down! - Follow 'em down like you follow your speech
therapist on Twitter! - Oh, come on, ref,
what was that? - Yeah, ref, Coach says
you're an idiot! - No, no I didn't! Sit down, Jimbo. You all right? Okay, let's see. - Ready, Coach. Ten hut, all aboard. - Peter, get in there
for Aaron. - Peter. That's what I was
thinking too, Coach. - Don't let him past you! - Yeah, push him down
if you have to! - No, don't do that! Brian, eye on the ball! - Put your eye on the ball and your meds up on the fridge! - Oh, come on, ref! How is that not a foul? - Yeah, what the heck, ref? Coach said he'll burn
your house down! - Nope. Nope, did not say that. - Nope. - Sit down, now! - Okay. Put me in, Coach? - Not yet. Brian, Neal, get in there. - Go get them, guys. What do you want me to do,
Coach? - Just help the injured players. - Whatever you say, Coach. You say jump, I say
look at my light-up shoes. Does this hurt? - Ow! - We're gonna have
to lose the leg, Coach! - Jimbo. - Yeah, Coach. - Don't touch the injured
players. - But you said-- - I know what I said. I changed my mind. - What do you want
me to do, Coach? - Just get me a drink
or something. - Whatever you say, Coach. You say jump, I say
good game, Coach! - JIMBO! I need you to stop! - Coach needs to stop! He wet himself. - Sit down! - Yeah, Coach. - Come on, ref! He just took out
our star player! - Give me a break, ref! Coach swears
he'll stab your dog! - Sit down! Jason:<i> Don't worry, Coach.</i> I took out the guy who keeps
hurting all our players. - Good! Now we have a chance. We just have to replace
Anthony on the court. - Yeah, Coach. - Not you, Jimbo. - I'm the last one, Coach. - Seriously? - Yeah. - All right, fine. - Fine? I can play? I will make you proud, Coach! - Jimbo, listen to me! - You miss 100% of the shots
you don't take! - No, don't take any shots. - Teamwork makes
the dream work. - No. Well, yes, but-- - It's okay to fail as long
as you keep on trying and your parents have
really good insurance. - Listen! I need you to do something. - Yeah, Coach? - Technically, I have to have
five people, so I need you out there. - Okay, Coach! - But, no, no,
no, no, no, no! You see that spot over there? - Under the bleachers? - Yeah. I want you to stand
right there. - And defend the bleachers? - Yes! Defend the bleachers. - Okay, Coach. - Okay-- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not enough to lose. - Good one, Coach. - Okay. [Velcro ripping] Jimbo: Okay, guys, Coach says
pass it to me every time! <i> [audience cheering]</i> - Okay, I think
they're almost here! - Awesome! Okay, this should be so fun. - Yeah! - I think Stacey
really likes you. - Do you? - Yeah! - I'm so nervous about it. - What? - Well, and plus
there's Agatha. - What about me? - Nothing, Agatha,
don't worry about it. - I was reading Giacomo
Leopardi by candlelight when the tinkling cymbals
of your jubilance encroached upon my depression. - Okay, Agatha, we know you
studied classic poetry, but you take it a little
too seriously. - Yeah, uh, we're just having
some guys over and it'd be really nice if you
could just stay in your room. - Yeah. - Oh. If I'm such an embarrassment,
I'll stay in my room. I'll stay in the room in my mind
where all dark secrets lie, blocked in the end, finding warmth at the bosom
of your defeat! The sea salt-- - Agatha, no! - [screaming] - No spontaneous
evil poetry! You promised. - Now go to your room! - Fine, swine! You shan't see me again! Are there any Red Vines? - Hey! - No, go, go, go, go, go! - The Vines [unclear]! - Go, go! - Oh, um... - Hi! - Hey, who was that? - Oh, it's just my roommate. She just got rejected
from grad school and she is on one tonight, so. [fist slam] Agatha:<i> How dare you
speak of my demise!</i> - Shut! Up! Agatha! - The fuselage of my rage
ignites! - Well, she can play games
with us if she wants. - Yeah. - No, no, no, no, no. That is not a good idea. - I will not play with you. Unless it's Boggle. - We were gonna play
charades. - Yeah. - Of course, you wretches! - Oh, there's no need
to be rude. - Crude? Crude is your mother's
parenting style if she hoped to make you a man. Crude is the childish bedrock
on which you base your flimsy self-esteem. Crude is to you
as brilliant is to me! - I said "rude." - [stuttering] - 'Kay, should we play? Stacey, you want to be
on my team? - Oh, yeah, you know it! Oh, man, I'm so glad you guys
have snacks. I'm hungry. - Are you sure you want to
partake, Stacey? - Ignore her. - Stacey, he who
makes chairs suffer and swingsets
creak in agony. - I think that's a little
too far, all right? - I want to play Boggle! - You don't get to play
any Boggle! - You dare forbid
my enjoyment? You are a man with the crinkled hands
of a naked mole rat. - [gasps] - And the soul of
a naked mole rat! And the body of
a clothed fat man! Matt: Okay. Just calm down! - Palm down? Are you referring to the
downward-turned palms-- - I said calm down! - Speak more clearly,
you mouth-stifled ingrate! - Agatha, please! We're sorry, but stop taking your pathetic
failure out on everyone else. - Ooh. Yes. I see. [clears throat] Well, if
you'll excuse me, I think I will go
lie down now. [somber organ music begins] - Um, y-y-- I think we're gonna
come back later. - Yeah. - I'm sorry. - No, no, no, no! It's fine, it's okay. - No, not really. - She'll go away
and it'll be fine. - Agatha! [organ music ends] - Do you want to
play Boggle with us? Come on! - Really? - Yeah! - I was having such a
wretched-- [screams] Ah, my periphery! Oh, my skull! - Go get the rolled up
newspaper! - No! No, the words are so trite! <i> [audience cheering]</i> [humming] - Hi, Brad. - Morning, Hazel! You are looking radiant. - Well, someone's chipper
this morning. - Well, I just have a feeling
it's going to be a great day! So, uh, yeah. - Right on. Zippity-doo-dah. - Yep. Of course. - Wow. - Ah. Thank you, Mom! Oh, this is amazing. - Hey, happy birthday, Brad! - Ah, thanks, Tim! It's the big 30, so. - What? That's a huge milestone! I've got to take you out
to eat. How about Joe's Crab Shack? - I love crab! - All right. - It's your birthday, Brad? - It is indeed. - What a coincidence. It's mine too. - Wait, what? - Oh, uh, you know, I don't
know if my wallet's thick enough for three rounds of
that buttery goodness. - Okay, maybe two. We could share. - Yeah, or, uh, how about I
just treat you guys to a hot-and-ready
pizza or something? - Oh, hot and ready! Oh, so nice of you, Tim! - Yeah, so much better than
the Caribbean feast. - Yeah. Well, you know, healthier. Salmonella. - Okay. - Yeah. - Hazel. Today is your birthday also? - Yup. I guess we can just
celebrate together. - Right. - Zippity-doo-dah. - Okay. - Yeah. Huh. - Oh, it's almost 9:30. Hazel: Okay. Radio Personality: Welcome
back to 105.1 The Buzz! We're about to award our
birthday giveaway! If it's your birthday and
you're the first caller in, you'll win our grand prize! And we have our first
birthday caller! What's your name? - Hazel. - What? Radio Personality: Hazel! It's your lucky day! You've just run two free tickets
to a Mumford & Sons concert! - Wait, that's my
favorite band! - Well, that's very nice
of you, but I can't leave my betta
fish for more than four hours or they'll rip each other
apart. - Hazel, this is the
opportunity of a lifetime! Radio Personality: Oh, well,
why don't we give it to our second caller, then? Oh! Apparently he just hung up! - No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! - Can't win 'em all. Zippity-doo-dah. - Uh, hey, Brad. Are you okay? - Oh, uh, yeah. Hey, Becky! How are you doing? - I was just wondering what
you were up to tonight. - Tonight? Well, it is kind of my day,
so. - It's our day. It's our special day. - Oh, Brad, I'm sorry,
I thought you were single. - Oh, no, no, no, no, I am,
I am single! - Oh, oh. - I am very single. - It's in my trachea. Oh, dear. - Brad, that is no way
to treat your girlfriend. - No, no, she's no one! - Happy birthday, Hazel. - Ah, thanks, Becky. - Yeah. - No! - Oh, oh, oh. - Hey, everybody,
gather 'round! We got a birthday cake for
the birthday buddies! - Oh! Wonderful. - Now, we all know that Brad's
favorite is cheesecake, right? - I do love cheesecake! - You were at the retreat! Woman: Yeah! - But then we found out that
Hazel's allergic to dairy, so we got her favorite,
a raisin loaf! - Cool! - Were you raised on rations? Because no! - The raisins are little bits
of flavor. You can really like them. - This is dumb! Give me this. - No, no, stop! It's very fragile. - You know what? Hazel! You have ruined something
that belongs to me and I'm going to ruin something
that belongs to you! [glass shattering] - [screams] My iPad! My baby! What was in that cake? - Well, raisin loaf is about
30 pounds with the raisins, so that iPad didn't stand
a chance. - That is it. Okay? November 10th is MY birthday. Today is MY birthday! Birthday's for B,
B's for Brad, it's Brad's day! Brad's birthday! Day! You were gonna make me
a cheesecake, but then you [screaming
unintelligibly]! It's mine! [sobs] - Brad, from that
vivacious outburst, I gather that today is
November 10th, so it's not July. Oh, dear. Happy birthday just Brad! - [screams] <i> [audience cheering]</i> - Guys, thank you so much
for watching! - Thank you! - And if you like
what you saw, subscribe! - Subscribe. - And if you didn't like
what you saw... - Don't tell us. - Subscribe. - Oh, also that. Give us a thumb up. Comment. Just share the love. We love you guys. Wink, wink, wink. Wink, wink, wink.
