(guys laughing)
(upbeat music) - Forward.
(guys cheering) - Howdy, everyone! Welcome to the Sidemen Try Camping! (Josh cheers)
- What you mean try? - Because I don't think we're gonna be very good at it.
- No, we're gonna be sick! Bro, I got a bronze (mumbles)! - Okay, Mr. Bronze!
- Yeah! - Mr. Bronze, you're our team captain! You are a team captain!
- I'm a team captain, yeah! Hey!
- Harry! You're also a team captain!
- Okay! - He's just about here!
- We're gonna go and number ourselves and
then you guys are gonna pick your camping avengers.
- Can't we just let them pick? - Just let 'em pick. Let 'em pick. We wanna see who (mumbles). - It's up to you. - Let 'em draw.
- We do a draw. - Yeah, draw.
(Harry mumbles) (guys laughing) - (laughs) Now we have our two captains. Now, please draw for
the camping selection. - Hi.
- Hey, sup. (Josh mumbles)
- I'm taking Josh. (guys laughing) - I got a silver deer here. - Oh, there we go.
- There we go. - Smart.
- Camping. Simon.
- No! (guys laughing)
- No, we're gonna be left, we're gonna be left.
- I wanted you to say Ethan. Tobi, the only reason I'm saying this is 'cause he arranged
the video so I feel like he's gonna know more about
what's happenin' here. I'm just gonna take Ethan. - I absolutely do! I absolutely do! (chuckles) Yes!
- I like this group, though. - As I got first pick, I'm
gonna let you pick Tobi. All right, you sound like Simon. (guys laughing)
- I'll take an extra pair of hands! I'll take an extra pair of hands, 100%! A sensible pair of hands, I will take it! - We know what we're doing.
- Right! Kapoof, yes! Whoever gets their tent up
first gets the food first. (upbeat music) - All right.
- All right. Let's get to work, what have we got? - [Simon] What's the 10 challenge? - We have alcohol and
nuts make me very happy. - We have a waterfall. (Vik laughs)
- Oh, my gosh. - He's doing it again. - Yo, yo, yo, hit me,
hit me, hit me, hit me. - Oh, oh, is that you?
(Vik laughs) - I thought you were
trying to make a joke! Feel like I've been left
alone to this tent, wow. My friends' become alcoholics.
- Priorities. - So if we can do it in 50 minutes, we get our access to the food quicker. - Okay, he likes that. He likes that food.
- We like food. What do you recommend?
- You do it there. Put it there, under the thingy. - But look at the ground?
- But look at the surface. Look, look, there's little dips and stuff. - You tell me you wanna sleep on this. - Yes.
- It's just sideways! - Yeah, but look at this! - I'd roll down the hill! - Look, see?
- What bit goes on the floor? - Oh, fuck that. I don't use it. (guys laughing) Is it literally just a 4-point tent!
- (groans) You bitch! - [Josh] What was in there? - We can do it in seconds. - [Ethan] (laughs) Do you know what he is? He's from Guernsey. He knows what he's doing. - [Harry] No, I mean,
I've been to festivals. (guys laughing) - [Josh] It's his festival bedroom. - I've done this many a
time in all the situations! (guys laughing) - That's the inner and
then that's the outer. So you have the inner layer. It creates insulation. It creates a pocket of air.
- So you know everything about this?
- Yeah. - Why aren't you doing (laughs) this? - I'm getting my bags in first. - No, well, yeah, it
was just getting ready. - Gettin' mellow. - Yeah, I think it's going well. You know, I'm helping a lot. I feel like I'm doing
more than everyone else. To be honest. - I've learned from the
London bingo we did. But they haven't specified. - Specified what?
- They said, first to build their tent wins. - Yes.
- It doesn't have to be built well.
- What if that's our tent? - Hey, yo we've won! - Yo, our tent's done!
- Wait, wait hold on, hold on.
- We've finished our tent! - Well, you haven't! - [Simon] You didn't specify! - If they wanna sleep like that! - If you wanna sleep like
that, you've won, yeah! You've won, guys! (laughs)
- I'll take it. - How come? - [Vic] I've won, we got a tepee! - Let's leave him like this! - Look, these are the sides. - It's this, it's this.
- Keep going, lads! - Where you pissin'? We're gonna smell your piss! - [Harry] That's what I said. He's doing it right next to our thing. - [Tobi] All right, look, look, look. There's these little things, look. - That's what I said to him.
- Yeah, look, you run it through these black things. Vik, if you don't beat us,
(laughs) I'm gonna be so sad! - [Tobi] They're beating us, bro. - It's on the outside and
there's the black bit. - [Tobi] That's what I said to you. - [Harry] Just feed it
through, feed it through. - [Ethan] All right, feed the pony. - [Harry] Feed the pony, yeah. All right, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang
on, hold your horses. - The vodka in early morning has not been, at least a combination for
tent-building! (chuckles) All right, I'd have to
say I've done a decent bit of camping in my time. Usually it's very calm, organised, measured. Today, none of that. - I think there's one
that go through here. - So definitely through this one, not the other the big sheet. And then we peg the hoop to the floor. - [Simon] Do you have a peg? - No.
- Here you go. (playful music) - [Vik] Oh, think I just broke it. - [Tobi] Why is it so much stronger than-- - Because then it pops up. - No, no, no, no.
- Yeah, 'cause I think it-- (makes popping sound)
- Okay. They should illustrate
that on this diagram. - Theirs has got a bit of a bend, though. Theirs is erecting, guys. - You realise that this is definitely not big enough for all of us. And as you can't be
within one metre of us? - Yeah, it's fine.
- It's just me and you! (guys laughing) Boys, we did it on a hill.
- It's kind of an F. - We've done it on a hill.
- No, it's fine, it's fine, it's math. - So now we need to do the other part. Oh, this goes across the front of it. - [Vik] The front of the
new one, the other one. - Yeah, this one. - [Vik] So it goes through the mesh bit. - [Simon] Yeah, so, JJ, take
this, that side up there. - We might actually beat them somehow, even though we've been
drinking vodka and-- - Red bull!
- I mean, they've been also, they've been lookin' at
us, I noticed, a lot. But Ethan is literally
staring are staring at us. Yo, we've won already! - I don't know if you have! - Well, you've had to look at us! - No, I'm not looking! (guys chuckling) It's going all right. It's going all right.
- Yeah. - Have we got pins? - Yeah, yeah, look,
there's loads here, look. - [Harry] All right,
well, I'll start layin' some corners in that.
(Tobi mumbles) - [Josh] What's that, all
four of us in this, yeah? - [Ethan] Well, after social distance, one in, one out. - What you mean one in, one out? - So when I want a nap, I'll go in. - [Tobi] So we're sleeping in shifts. - Yep. Boys? Have you got one with a red bit on it? - Yeah!
- Yeah, mate! - Is yours bent? - Don't know, mate! - Is it bent? - Don't know, mate! - I'll tell you what it is. That's for the entrance.
- Yeah. - [Josh] What's the next bit? - All right, so we will
put the other thing over the top of it now. - Yeah, all right. - [Josh] Sort of like a fisherman now. - [Tobi] (chuckles) Look like a fisherman. - Look like a fisherman!
- You should've showed the way he came!
(guys laughing) - [Josh] I can't stop, I'm a busy man. - Okay, maybe now, maybe
this needs to be like this. - No.
- Oh! Oh, wait, no, if we peg it at the back, if we pin it at the back, it will be... - Higher.
- Yeah, we've gotta clip it all in. - Just gonna jump in our tent. (guys chuckling) - It's a very Harry thing to do. - I'm not gonna say no. (laughs) I'm not gonna say no! (relaxing music)
(guys laughing) - You can go, you can go. (laughs) Look at his face now! - (laughs) Tell me what to do, mate. Tell me what to do, mate! (Ethan laughs)
(guys mumbling) - [JJ] Nice. (guys laughing)
- Come on! - Their time will come,
their time will come. - [Vik] Yeah, we're fine,
we're fine, we're fine. - We're fine, we survived.
- We're fine, we're fine, we're fine.
- We can survive this. (guys laughing) - [Tobi] Does this go in here at all? - [Harry] I think so, I think so. - That's my chair! (Ethan laughs loudly) - [Vik] Just bend that
down and just put it, put it in, there you go. Look, look at that. - [Simon] And then take peg these in. - [JJ] How will I-- - [Vik] Put it through the hoops. Down there.
- Okay. - I think we take it! - Fixed their tent, look! - We're happy with ours! - Right. (playful music)
(chuckles) One sec. Give us a minute.
- We win! - 'Cause we're just doing
security checks with ours! We have pegged our door
down so we can't open it but I'm sure we can.
(guys laughing) - Nice!
- All right. Let's go inspect. - [Harry] But then I'll tell you what. Once you're in. Oh, d'you know what? It's actually all right, you know! It's actually all right! - [Harry] D'you know what, it's not the best.
- JJ, they're in there, they're in there, don't hurt them. - [JJ] Oh, it's all
right, I won't hurt them. - [Simon] We were coming to look at it. 'Cause we finished ours. - [Ethan] It tents. - It's pretty secure
- It tents. - Is it stab-proof?
- I don't think you should test it. (guys laughing)
- You tore a window. No, no, just leave 'em with a window. Stop it! - Fuck your chair! - Nah, I don't think it's stab-proof.
- Do we get food first? - Don't think it's stab-proof.
- It's your video, we could get food first.
- I have an idea. I have an idea, I have an idea. (guys laughing) - [Vik] Oh, no! No! No! (guys laughing)
Oh, no! (loud splashing) Oh, no! Oh, no! - [JJ] I think we all knew
this was gonna happen. - Oh, it was a half success. I mean, I sabotaged myself. - Should've just taken his chair back!
- I think we all knew this was gonna happen.
(guys laughing) - [Simon] But that trip was so good! But we tripped him so good! (groans) - Fuck it all.
(Ethan laughs loudly) - I took a beating for that! But at least we have a tent! - Did you see the way he just (mumbles) your tent and stands there? (guys laughing) He ruined your tent at full speed. - (laughs) It was a
moment, it was a moment. (Josh groans)
- I'm finished! I'm finished! I'm finished. - It's quite nice today, you know? It's got a little breeze, all sorts! Not bad!
- How many sleeping bags do you have? - [Tobi] Um, we have-- - Do you have a toilet roll?
- They're not sleeping bags, are they? - [Vik] No, I don't know. - We have one.
- Maybe. Where're the sleeping bags? Hello? Hello? - [Simon] We each got one. - [Josh] I got one in there! - (laughs) But you've gotta share! - Well, then we're done! (laughs) - Wait, do you not have
your barbecue and stuff? - Oh, yeah. - Make it homely! Make it pretty, lads, stop being jealous of our penthouse! - [Tobi] Curb session. - [Josh] This is where the magic happens. - This is where the
magic happens, obviously, live-in area, sleeping area. Ventilation. - You can't shit there! - You have to leave--
- What do you mean I can't shit here?
- Don't shit where you sleep! (laughs)
- Go shit over there! - Well, I'm not sleeping here! I'm sleeping there! - We only have one sleeping bag. I rate it, I rate it, to be fair, this is apparently war now. - You think he's digging his poo hole next to our place? (laughs)
(Ethan laughs) - [Tobi] Can I get some sweets? - Think we've got bigger
issues, right now! We've got bigger issues!
- We've got very big issues right now!
- What're you diggin'? What do you mean we got issues? - Just diggin' a hole!
- For what? - He's diggin' his poo
hole next to our cabin! - [Harry] Wait, wait,
no, no, no, no, no, no. - [JJ] To wipe my face! - What do you mean to wipe you-- What do you mean?
- No, no, no. Take this, take this.
(Ethan laughs) - [JJ] Stop fillin' my hole! Stop filling my hole! - [Harry] You're mad. - Take your poo hole somewhere else. Take it, take it somewhere else. - [Ethan] Guys, guys, look. - [Simon] I'm pretty sure
Ethan's gonna do it as well! - Move.
- No. - Move. Go on, move!
- You gotta defend the fortress here.
- Move! (guys laughing) - Hey, yo, I'm gonna come back. With shit in my hand. And best believe it'll get thrown. - What (mumbles) him
shitting on the shovel and taking it over?
(Simon laughs) - Oh, my-- Yo, JJ!
- Yo, JJ, come back here! - We got a plan, we got a plan! - [JJ] Oh! (playful music)
(JJ chuckles) - Oh, my gosh!
- What stinks, what stinks? I can smell! - [Josh] This is not a nice fire. - Can we do this properly? - Guys, can we set it up?
- Can we do that properly, please? - [Ethan] Guys, can we
please do it properly? - Josh is just rubbing his
marshmallow on a blade of grass. (guys laughing) - Guys, can we please set up our barbecue properly?
- We got marshmallow! (playful music)
(guys laughing) - [Vik] Oh, my god, they have no idea. - [JJ] The shit is moving. (playful music) - Well, I don't know
what term the (mumbles). Take out order of
components from the bowl. - [Ethan] Yeah? Oh, wait!
- Oh, no, no, no, no! Hang on a minute, hang on a minute! No, wait, wait, what do you mean? - Get rid of the fire!
- No, no, JJ! JJ, that's fucking disgust-- JJ, don't!
- Oh! - Don't you dare!
- Oh, no, no, no! Oh, he's put poo on our feet!
- Poo on our tent, bro. - [Ethan] Well, he put poo on our feet! - [Tobi] He actually put poo on our tent. He took a shit and put it on our tent. - Strike for round! - [Ethan] That human shit! - See ya, guys! (laughs) Decided to, you know, make my mark on nature by releasing myself or part of myself. - It was going well. And then someone comes
and shanks our tent. - And then put poo in it. - (chuckles) Yeah. Just really came over, JJ came over with a shovel full of poo. Actual poo. Human poo. His poo. - That is about right. It might be one of those
outrageous things we've done. He's now pissed in it,
obviously, and shit. - Right, that can't (mumbles), mate, no. No, that can't actually be shit, right? - No, no, no, no, I
promise you, it's his shit. He went to the woods and he took a shit. He went to the woods and he took a shit. - [Ethan] No, 'cause I saw it! That wasn't his shit, surely, right? - Bro, I promise you, it's his shit.
- Oh, mate, it's JJ that's gonna be his shit.
- It's his shit. It's 100% his shit. And Simon planted the idea in his head, like Simon always does. - (laughs) He's in disbelief! He can't believe this! (JJ laughs)
- I make you marshmallows and you put your shit in my tent! I'm not getting his shit out! - This has been a surreal experience. I'm enjoying just being out in the wild. I feel like a new man. - Where is it?
(guys laughing) - [Harry] Go get closer,
I'm not goin' in there-- - [Ethan] I don't trust you enough! - [Tobi] Where is it? Oh, shit, there it is!
(guys laughing) - [Ethan] It's a little nugget! - [Tobi] There's a nugget in the tent! (guys laughing) - That's just a nugget in a tent! There's a nugget in the tent! That's just a nugget!
- Boys, we need to play some of game for each fish in the shower 'cause I'm not goin' in there! - I'll get the shit out. - Oh, there's a nugget sat
in the middle of our tent. It's gone right through the cracks. - Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
- Oh! - Oh, god! - [Josh] I got a nugget! - I mean our tent is... I was looking at our tent. It's wet. It's broken, so not well. But there's has shit in it. So I don't know who's winning. - Don't know whether we'll
actually manage to camp. I don't think it's in all of us. We're down a tent, we're
down a sleeping bag, we don't seem to have
enough sleeping bags. I don't know. I'm lost for words but excited to see what the rest of the day holds. (Ethan shouts)
(playful music) (engines growling)
- Woo! (mumbles) - He said, just lock
your legs into the back, Harry's there like this. - How was camping earlier? How was camping earlier? - It was interesting. - Shit. - Bit of that. - [Vik] This doesn't hit the target. There's no way. Oh!
- Yo! - Oh, wow.
- Oh, wow. Wow. - I did that. - [Coach] You did that. - How do you prevent the...
- Roll the shoulder back. - Okay.
- Okay, to the corner of your mouth. - And I release?
- Let it loose. - [Simon] That was all right. - Damn it!
- Mine's gonna be trash! - [Coach] Don't worry. - [Simon] Like this. Okay. - Roll the shoulder back and release. - Oi!
- Oi! - You guys can carry on. You're happy!
- Jeez! - [JJ] Let's go! - Have fun, nerd!
- I'll get it, I'll get it. (upbeat music) - Yes, now! - [Tobi] Were you running? - You running, yeah. - I've eaten so much dust. Literally just kept
blasted the whole time! I had a good time. - Hopefully there's some
good driving shots of us. - Better than stinky
archery, that's for sure! - Yeah, look at 'em,
standing still going, oh! - Oh, I don't like--
- Sorry! - I don't like off-road vehicles! - I went to private school. Me hunt some pheasants. Oh, yeah, there we go. (guys laughing)
Jolly good one, chap! - Roll that shoulder back!
(relaxing music) - Oh!
- Oi! Now we're in business! (relaxing music) - Totally sick! - Did you get that in the mid? I don't even see the arrow,
'cause it's at an angle. - I'm fuckin' dope, bro! - I can't really see where it's going. - That looks so boring, you know. - And that's what we just did.
- But we've been hootin' these things around,
around, around the course and they're just... - Just standin' there like this. (relaxing music) - So how would we like do it in war? - (chuckles) Given the pace
at which we were firing, probably not great. - I just hope that the others
are having fun on archery. They got their tent up first. I hope it's more fun than quad bikes. - I'm surprised they chose
archery over quaddin'. (engines growling)
Let's go! (upbeat music) - All right. Loser does a shot. - No, two shots. Two shots, yeah, it's gotta be-- - Nah, three shots. - No, no, no, two. Second place does one. - Yeah.
- Okay. - The winner gets to not do anything. - Okay.
- Yeah, all right. - No, do-overs. - No need.
- You get your four arrows, that's it. - I've a confession, whoo. I'm gonna flop.
- You'll flip the first one. The most athletic man on YouTube. - Oh!
- It's not bad, what is that? (upbeat music) - I'm scared but I'm having
my hands on the brakes, man. (upbeat music) - (chuckles) You're so off-putting. (JJ laughs)
You are so off-putting! - So what's that? - That's a zero.
- Zero. - Oh, yeah, that's a really
good stance there! (chuckles) - Way cool. Ooh! - Oh!
- 6-5. (upbeat music) - Oh, I ate shit. (laughs)
- Feels like I'm covered. I'm covered, that was so sick. - That was so good. You look like you've been down a chimney, but I don't know what I look like! - [Josh] You went down a chimney! (guys laughing) - There's no way he's getting 25. - He doesn't have anything. - Yep.
(Vik makes exploding sound) - It's all right, it's a score. - Back in the game.
- It's a six. - I just felt overwhelming
pressure just now. - It's a really tense sport, isn't it? - Just the tip.
- Oh! - [Simon] That's a lot of strain there. Who's shaking? (Vik gasps)
(JJ groans) Never flop.
- Oh! - There's no way getting out of that one. - What is goin' on?
- I never flop, bro. - You know what, I'm so confident. I'm going to do this. - Oh, no-look. Yeah, go on then. Go and do a no-look if you're about it. - No-look, yeah? - Yeah, oh, you're quite clearly looking. - (chuckles) You missed.
- You played yourself! - You missed the board!
- You played yourself! - No! Shakin'! Yup, ditto. I've won, mate, two shots. - I think I'm calm. You wanna see the no-look? - I think you've already won. - I thought you're no-lookin'. Oh, you're such a dickhead.
- He smashed that. He smashed that. - No, you just do this in your spare time. With your white middle-class family. (guys laughing) - I was waiting, I was waiting. How many did you get? 20. - Now how was that 20? - 20.
- If you look-- - 18. - 18
(Simon gasps) - 18, oh, wow! - [Vik] You got 22. - 42.
- 42. Oh, we've got a reactive target now. So it's gonna go boom! I'm hittin' it. (loud explosion)
- Oi! (guys cheering)
Let's go! - Called it! - Let's go!
- Jesus! - I wanted the drink, I wanted the drink. - "I'm hittin' it," boom. (upbeat music) - Here we go, (mumbles). (guys talking at the same time) - Boy! Hit 'em with a boy! - Oh.
(upbeat music) - Wow, Harry!
- I think it's a little harder that we all think. (guys talking at the same time) - [Harry] It feels weird. Well, I thought it was gonna be easy. - [JJ] Boy. (guys laughing) - Oh, boy. - [Ethan] You're gonna get the axe, mate. - I think Ethan might get this. - Nope.
- You choose. - I think he might.
- Nope. (upbeat music)
(guys cheering) - Can you do that again? - [Tobi] We can play more a bit just, can you do it again?
- Do it again! - Now stay back, stay back.
- I'm callin'. - I'm sick! - [JJ] Notice how Josh
is taking the long list. (guys groaning)
- You hit it, though! - Yeah! (Tobi mumbles)
(Ethan laughs) - Wait, did he do it?
- Went behind like that. - Don't let it go too far back, Simon. - Time to smash it.
- If he gets this, he's extremely white middle class. - Boy. (guys laughing)
- Boy. - He missed on purpose
'cause you said that! (guys laughing)
- If you had said, "Oh, he's a bad man,"
he'll go, "Yeah, fuck it." In.
- Boy. (chuckles) - Go, scalper.
- Hey, you're scalper. - [Vik] I should be able to do this. (guys mumbling) - Oh!
(Ethan laughs) 'Kay, let me get this. (Harry groans)
- Oh, lucky bog! - He did like the rest.
- I think he did the whole (mumbles). - He listened to everything
you said, "Fuck it." - Please be careful. Oh, my god, oh, my god. (Tobi groans)
- Oh, for god's sake. - [Simon] Boy. - Okay. Let go. JJ, mate, we're gonna
have to pay them overtime! - [Tobi] You're gonna
ruin it for everyone. - Just throw it! (guys cheering) Let's go! Get it! - [Simon] At least it was worth it. (JJ laughs) - [Vik] For the sake of his ego, he doesn't get it again. Oi, my god! (guys cheering) - [Harry] Oh, no. - [Simon] Follow that, bro. Follow that. - Jeez!
- Yes, now! (guys groaning)
(Ethan laughs) (guys talking at the same time) - [Harry] He hit the red target, though.
- Did you see your first throw? - No, no.
- Did you see your first throw?
- His was not straight. It was like doing a 360.
- I'm done. (guys talking at the same time) - Oh, my god.
(guys laughing) - Time to smash it.
- Boy. (guys cheering) - Just put it in!
- Oh, my god. - I've done the same thing!
- You're actually dead. (guys laughing) (guys chuckling) - Wow, it feels good to be throwin an axe!
- It feels great to be a winner!
- (groans) Boys! - Come on, join us. - Cricket ball. (guys cheering)
That's the best one out of the lot, by the way! - Yeah, you took your time! - [Tobi] That's the
best one out of the lot! Thank you. - No, no, it's all right.
- Tobi, it's four o'clock and they
should be packing up to go home. (Tobi laughs) - Is that a target over there? Is that a target over there? (laughs) Thank you. Thank you. (upbeat old-fashioned music) (guys cheering)
- Harry! (guys talking and
laughing at the same time) (upbeat old-fashioned music) (guys cheering) - [Simon] Is it a round robin? - Come on!
- Wait, now what? - Come on!
- No, no. No one gets shown. (Tobi laughs)
- Yeah, that would preferable.
- We can all throw axes! - Yeah, good job. (guys clapping)
- We are real men. - No losers here. (upbeat old-fashioned music) (JJ moos loudly) This is it. This is the middle of 2020. (JJ moos loudly)
- Mate, don't fuck it. - [Vik] This is the middle of 2020. This is all you got.
- JJ, don't, don't! No, no, no, no, no, chill. - Hey, I win! - You win, you win, you won!
- No. - Hey, they're backin' off! - A bunch of city boys. Any of us ever fish before? This is dinner. This is how we're getting dinner. - Look at me. Do I look like (mumbles) that fish? - Yeah.
- Yeah, you do. - You know what, I
like, your PC-ness but-- - Look at your outfit. - No. - You look like you fish.
- I've never fished in my life.
- Oh, wait, bug! Yeah, yeah, oh shit!
- This kit! - [Josh] You scarin'
the fish right now, bro. - That was a bite, that was a bite! - [Harry] That wasn't a bite! - But the front bent! I tried to strike! - [Harry] Well, I'm in now. - Excuse me, cow. You're scaring the fish. All right, there we go. - Cool, fish also eat this. - Don't know why. Dumb fish. - Let's go. - What's goin' on here?
- Fishes. Fishes! Oh, it's already so much deeper, right? - There's some movement! (laughs) I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, listen, I'm gonna fish. - Hey, look, it's a moov-ment!
- Oh, no, no, sho-sho-sho! My joke, my joke!
(guys laughing) - Huzzah! Fuck sake! (chuckles) - Wait, where's Harry gone? Has Harry just waded all the way down? - [Josh] Eh, it's a leaf. - (laughs) It's a leaf. Look, you see what I'm
talking about, though, there? Look, look, look, there, there, there! Look.
- It's a leaf. - It looks like a fish. You find anything, Harry?? - [Harry] No, Ethan caught a weed. - Huh?
- Ethan caught a weed, I've caught a few bugs. - I thought I saw a fish. - [Josh] No, I don't think fish exist. - Wait, I just don't get it. This doesn't make sense. - [Harry] I actually don't
want to catch a fish. - I do.
- You do? I don't 'cause if I catch a
fish, I'm gonna freak out. - Right, come on, (mumbles). - I'm gonna go all the way. Let's go up. - Did just come apart?
- It was either a bit of weed or a fish, either one will do. - [Vik] I got a fish! No way, no way, I have a fish!
- No way. - [Vik] No word of a lie! - No!
- Wait! Wait, let me give it some more water. - [Harry] Lad, we're eatin' it. - There, it's a fish!
(guys cheering) - Let me see, let me see.
(guys talking) - You're not in my team, are you? - No.
- Oh, no! - We're eating good tonight.
- No! - It was this big.
- All right, here we go. Bring the camera up. He's in the bottom of that.
- There he is! There he is! It's a fish!
- Focus it, focus it, focus it. Yeah.
- Nice. We're gonna cook that. - [Vik] Mate, that's a little-- Actually, I think it's a tadpole. - It's a tadpole, right?
(Vik gags) - So if we were, you know,
really out in the wilderness, I'd have myself a small
little meal for dinner. However, we have brought
some burgers with us. I think we'll eat those instead. - We got a fish!
- He caught a fish! - [Ethan] Fuck off, no way. - We caught a fish!
- We caught a fish! - [Ethan] What, a natural fish? - Yeah.
- If you let him go, let him go, I'll catch him.
- No, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna let him go in the free. - How did you even see him? - I just saw him swimming along and I just snagged him. - Wait, Vik, you spot it first or were you like...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah! - How!
(guys mumbling) - You saw the size of it!
- All right, he's gone, he's gone, he's off now. - Oh, it's cold. Oh, it's sucking my legs! I don't like it! - Yo!
- Keep comin'. - Yo!
- Feels great, don't it? (Harry mumbles)
- Yeah, when it's up to here. - Yo! - I can't do it, JJ.
(JJ yells) - This feels so weird, bro!
- Keep comin', keep comin'. (laughs) Keep comin'! - I'll just hold it.
(JJ yells) - Hey, yo, the water's tossin' me off! (Simon laughs)
Hey, the water's tossin' me off! - [Harry] What do you mean? - Bro, come here! Come here!
- What's tossin' him off? - Hey, the water's--
- Look at his face! - [Harry] I'm with him on that! - [JJ] Hey, yo! - I'll just move away.
- Hey! - Come in, man!
- I'll prove it! - Yeah, 'cause this is broke. - [Josh] No, I think you'll
be all right to here. You'll be calm! This is the same size. - This is what you get
when you paid five pounds off of Amazon for a fishing kit, really. You have a bunch of the Sidemen in the river and this. But the thing is, I'm not that
tall and this is deep here. - [Simon] No, it's calmer there, look, look at Harry.
- No, Harry went all the way up to like... (JJ groans)
- Yeah, let's see how Harry-- - What's this guy doing?
- It's the water. The pressure of the water
is just squeezing my dick! (Simon laughs)
(JJ groans) - No, we got you now. (guys talking at the same time) - [Simon] Bro, get your
cock in at this level. (JJ groans)
(guys laughing) - Oh, my god!
- Whoa, it's mud! Wait till it gets to your cock! Yo, bro!
- Get this bit, get this bit. They can't join us! - A sexting happening right now.
- Oh, my god! (Ethan laughs loudly)
(JJ groans) Oh, my god!
(JJ groans) - Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
(Ethan groans) - He's just humpin' here, he's like, "Oh, yeah!"
- You can't see his face! You can't see his face.
- We've all gone fishing and we will just end up sitting
in the lake going (groans)! (JJ groans)
- Not all of us! Not all of us are doin' that! - Hey, come on, man!
- You're catchin' a fish! - I'm tryin'!
- We got another. - I wanna catch a fish but my rod broke. That's broken. Both of the fishing rods broke. - Oh, it's quicksand here, bro. - Don't go that side.
- Yeah, I was on that side. - No, the rod's fucked, the line's jammed.
- Wait, why not that side? - It's really deep. I walked over there and I was like...
- It's quicksand right here. - [Josh] I started going down a bit here. - [Tobi] Come on, fishies. I feel that we're the only ones actually trying to catch fish. - I mean, I've caught a fish. So it goes to show.
- Yeah, so teach me then. This is like set one science, that's like set (mumbles).
(guys laughing) - And this is short
people and tall people. - We also can't go over there! We will drown! - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, oh. - Okay.
- It feels so nice. - [JJ] Okay. (Ethan groans)
- (groans) Oh, baby, take me. - Yeah, yeah!
- Take me, baby. (JJ groans)
(Ethan laughs) - [Ethan] Why does it feel like this? I don't think we're gonna catch any fish. - [Josh] I don't think
I'm gonna catch any. I might as well enjoy myself. - I need to piss, but I've
realise I'm in the water. That's the issue. - I really wanna piss.
- Same. - Really wanna piss.
(Ethan laughs) - That's the spot! (guys laughing) (guys mumbling) - Oh, wow! - [Simon] Face away from us. - Well, I could spend all day in here. (guys laughing) - Honestly, this is bad.
(JJ groans) (relaxing music) - We're getting to the evening
now and we're all hungry. (Josh laughs) We're all very hungry and Harry is up for redemption here because (laughs) he cooked us biscuits the last time he barbecued.
- Boys, boys, boys. This is gonna be the most easy barbecue. - I like that. (coals rattling)
- Yeah, come on. That's enough. - These coals will be found in the woods. - Yeah, we found these
coals, we sourced them from Bigfoot. - From Bigfoot?
- From Bigfoot. - JJ, you go on and collect some firewood. Go and punch a tree.
- And don't put any poo on it. - Go and punch a tree, Minecraft style. - I'm not walking more than five minutes. - There's trees over there! - (laughs) You can't even get
to a tree in five minutes! Do you know what you're doing? - [Vik] No, I'm workin' out as I go. Has it got legs?
- What? - What's he doing, Vik? - What?
(metal clanking) He's playin' Minecraft. JJ, you can't use a shovel to get wood! It's for digging. - This is not as easy as
it looks on Minecraft. Fuckin' hell. - My camping is (mumbles).
- Oi! Can I do your ears? - Fuck off.
- Oh, go on. Do it at the barbershop.
- I do the wax thing, yeah!
- Can you do my ears? Lads, fuck off! - [Tobi] Do the wax thing, do the wax thing.
- Lads, fuck off! Fuck off my ears, fuck off!
- How 'bout your nose? - Hey, Josh, let me do your ears. - No, thanks. (laughs) But I'm Turkish. I mean, Armenian, same thing. - [Harry] You do look a bit Turkish. (Ethan mumbles)
- Can we set it on fire now? - No, no, wait.
- Dude, fuck off. - Bit of lighter fluid just to get-- - Oi, stand!
- No, no, no. Don't even need that much.
- No, no, no, 'cause I wanna eat, I wanna eat it!
- Just a little bit. - Yeah, just a little bit.
- I wanna eat it. Just a drizzle.
- We don't need it. (guys talking at the same time) - A little bit, fuck yeah.
- That'll do. - My sausage is going to
taste like fucking fluid. - You're supposed to put
this in the barbecue, right? (coal clanking)
- That looks like your poo you did earlier. I feel like this is gonna go horrendously.
- I thought like you need to put in more. You're not squeezin' it.
- That'll do, that'll do. - You squeeze it in. Yeah. - Okay.
- I'm dropping this match and moving away. I'm very scared. (laughs)
- Try lighting it. (guys laughing) - It was almost next to the coal! You need the get fire light. You need to get the brown and red pieces. You can just put it in
that gap and just leave it. There you go. We're gonna have fire--
- It begins. - Can I have Diet Coke, please, bro? - Yeah, you need it, lad. (guys chuckling)
(Josh mumbling) - Okay, are you talking
about me behind my back? And then turn around and say that! (guys laughing)
- Thank you, sir! - [Harry] That's all right. Cheers, buddy. - (chuckles) Put on more
on the floor as well! Stop, mate, that's enough,
that's enough, that's enough. (Simon chuckles)
Stop, man! - All right, that's enough.
- Stop! - That's enough, that's enough. - We're getting there by the way. - Yeah, it'll take a while, after maybe if Tobi steal the heat for his marshmallows.
- What you mean steal the heat? The heat's emanating anyway! - Emanating?
- Whoa! - Jesus!
- Jeez, that was a big... - You get it at grammar school. - You did greatness there. (guys talking at the same time) I haven't had a taste of one yet. (Vik chuckles) (guys laughing)
- JJ's in on fire! (laughs) He set his marshmallow on fire! - My marshmallow's on fire.
- His marshmallow's on fire! That's not how you roast
a marshmallow, lad! - Try it, try it a little brew now. Try it. When you take it out, go good. (guys laughing faintly) - Ooh.
- Yeah? - Ooh. - Oh.
- Ooh. - Oh.
- Ooh. So you need to make one of these, boy. - Ooh! - Well, aren't we having fun. (guys laughing) - [Josh] You got a story there. - I was like, feel story!
- Marshmallow bag, bro. - Yeah.
- So you got one ready? - No. - [Tobi] Tell the story, mate. - Tell 'em again. - When I was a young child, I was a-- - Where you a boy? - I was appearing on a TV
show called "This Morning", I was waiting in the green room and Peter Andre had just
released, re-released, "Mysterious Girl".
- Yeah. - He comes into the green room, introduced himself to everyone. I said, "Hi, my name's
Josh," and he was like, "I'm gonna call your Joshie. "You all right, Joshie?" (Tobi chuckles) And he signed my-- (Ethan laughs loudly)
He signed a CD for me. - Is this friend of yours
in "This Morning" anyway? - Why were you on "This Morning"? - You're gonna dig that up, you know. There'll be a good video as well. - Why were you on "This Morning"? - But you gotta find the footage. That's a sick video.
- You didn't even know why he was on the video!
(guys laughing) - You know what, oi! - "My baby was born with
the world's biggest head!" (guys laughing) - Just looked at you! - It's just Josh's fucking massive head! - Hey! - I can't! - That's not very nice! (Ethan mumbles and laughs)
(guys laughing) - But you might be right, you know. (guys laughing)
- This is why I don't tell my stories. (guys laughing) - [Vik] There we go, grill's on. - All right.
- All right, let's make some food! (guys laughing) It's a lot slower than
the microwave, isn't it? - You don't microwave sausages. You do, don't you? - Yeah. - Right, go on, that's looking nice. - Yeah, put it on that
side, leave it on that side. - What are you doing? - Heating a spoon. - What are you eating with a spoon today? - That's what harem people do. You're gonna heat the spoon. (guys laughing)
- What? - You know, when they
heat the (mumbles) spoon. No?
- Yeah, I know what you mean. I was gonna allude to
that, but I didn't want to. - But you didn't get there. - This is what we used to
do back in the day, bro. - Human, human death. - When did you ever do this? - [Vik] No, it's like
humans, early humans. - Oh, okay. - Let's just wait for the food. (Vik chuckles)
(Simon laughs) - Have to kill the pig first!
- People still have to wait for their food! Even delivery you have to wait for your food.
- Yeah, yeah. It's just a bit faster now. - Did you ever see the video
of the (stammers) Dalai, not the Dalai Lam-- You know, one of those monks
settin' himself on fire? - Then what?
- Hm? - Died. (guys laughing)
- Just to prove that he could do it. - To prove that I can do it? - Yeah, he just set himself on fire. And just sat there like
this, just on fire. - (chuckles) Then died. - Well, yeah. - Third degree burns and that. - Jeez! - That's a premium cut.
- That's raw! - He's done well there. You make my rip look pretty shit, man. I've done all right. - Yeah! Well, made it rip, yeah. - Thanks. (laughs) Straight onto the food. - Look at that, it's gone red hot! - What?
- Look. Look at the metal. - That means that we should probably put a sausage or burger in there.
- No. - No, let's flame grill it, go on. - Flame grill? You know what I could
put burgers in that side, to be fair.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm thinking number
between one and four. - Three.
- Three. - Two. - One.
- That means you'll burgers gettin' flamed. (guys laughing)
- That's not a thing, is it? - No. (laughs) Your burger's gettin' flamed. (Simon spits loudly)
(Vik laughs) - What, did it go in your mouth? (Simon stutters)
- I forgot about the wind. I'm sorry. - Oh! (groans)
- Oh. - He sprayed and it all
came downwind into my eye and it's bad. (gags) (guys cheering) - Come on, no!
- Yeah! - [Ethan] Patty gang! - There are three. Should we chug?
- Yeah! - [Vik] While we're waiting. - Have a little cheers. - Yeah, go on then. - [Vik] See 'em off. - None of us are driving,
just to clear that up. - We are not drivers of London. - We're all staying
overnight, so I don't know. (guys chuckling) To a nice team. Thanks for picking us. - Nice, guys! - I appreciate it.
- Thanks for accepting me being captain. - I liked it.
- You know what? I can't argue, he's made play of the game. (guys laughing) Cheers, guys. That's pretty good. It's like just a little snack size. - [Ethan] I think we might
need more coal than that. - We're fine. (Tobi mumbles and laughs) - [Josh] It's gonna be a slow cook, judging by it.
- It will be a slow cook, it will be a slow cook but,
but they're gonna cook, don't worry. - So realistically, what is the probability
of osso being cake? - Wait, what?
- Ooh! - Oh, the picture of--
- Yeah. 'Cause everything is cake. - That's fairly unlikely. - But people think life's a simulation. - Could be. So what if it's just simulate a cake? - Ethan. - Look how Josh has just
blast into (mumbles). - No, but I don't think I went deep enough to see if (mumbles) cake. - Would you like me to chop your arm off and we find out? (Ethan mumbles)
(guys laughing) Come on! Oh! (yells) - Look at 'em go fire!
- It's fucking class! - But it's still not totally free. - That's fine, that's fine.
- Yeah, that's fine. Same amount on that side and we're-- You're all right. - (laughs) You're gettin' hungry. - I'm so fuckin' hungry
right now! (laughs) Try to hit the head, lads. Yeah, I have got one there.
- Go for it. - Can I have that one, then? - This one?
- Yeah. - (laughs) You just don't projectile vomit on your own first bite!
(JJ laughs) - See you on the other side! (chuckles) - That's gonna be hot now. - Yeah!
(Vik laughs) - That's just come off! - Yeah. (laughs) - I thought that was really ambitious! - It's good! It's a lot of bread. (guys chuckling) - They said it tastes better when you've prepared it yourself. Would you agree? - Well, I didn't really prepare it. (chuckles) - You have to wait. - Oh, bit my lip! - [Vik] What you're saying, JJ? Is it all right? - Pretty good!
- All right! - Oh, wow! - [Tobi] I'm very excited for these. Have we got ketchup? - I actually don't think we do, you know. - [Ethan] There is somewhere, there is. - I saw it earlier. - Go get a cheese goin', booger, come on! - [Ethan] Oh, this blew
me something, by the way. ♪ Halloumi time ♪ ♪ Halloumi time ♪ - All right, Ethan, "If
you're talking the hardest"? - Ethan better pop apart.
- No, finish the lyrics. "If you're talking the hardest"? - "Giggs better pop up in
your thoughts as an artist." - Jeez! (laughs)
- (laughs) Got him! - He did get you there.
- That was actually good. You know what, that was-- (guys talking at the same time) - I was smiling. (guys laughing)
No fuck, we're done. - (wails) My eyes! - Well, what should we play? Let's play a game. - I spy. I spy with my little eye something beginning with N. - I knew it.
(guys laughing) - Let's figure out what my what is, guys. - Nature. - [Vik] Mm. - Wrong. You want a clue? - (laughs) Okay.
- It's next to you. - Nice clothing! - It's one word. - Net. - Nice. - Wrong. - Nikes!
- Mm! - Wrong. - I might not toast the
buns just to be safe. - Yeah, 'cause you are on
the road to success here. - Yeah, I'll take the safe option out.
- That is PTSD, if I've ever seen it!
(Ethan laughs loudly) - You're, "I'm not gonna do it." - I'm going to let you
pick your own sauces. We're safe with these, I think. I'm gonna take this one. Oh, my god. - [Tobi] He did put that on the grass.
- I'm very excited. - Gonna put it on.
- He did put that on the grass.
- Oh, I'm excited. (guys laughing)
- Is that your burger, bugger? (guys laughing)
- It's my burger. - He just put it straight on the grass. (Harry mumbles)
- He put his burger together on the grass! But he put it together on the grass! - Thank you.
- Cheers, mate! - We're outdoors! You ought to embrace the outdoors? - There was poo flyin' around here! (guys laughing) Someone embrace it, right? - You want another clue? - Yeah, sure. (laughs) Stop! Stop! - What? Nice person. - Mm.
- Do you give up? - Yes.
- Mm-hm. - It was neck. - (chuckles) Such a bitch, jeez. (guys chuckling)
Such a bitch! (guys laughing) - Oh!
(Tobi mumbles) - Oh, bugger.
- Oh, that's bangin'. - You got the ketchup. - It's tricky. I want to get them, no! (laughs) - [Ethan] (chuckles) Oh, no! Toasted bun, toasted bun! - There's ketchup in the coal!
- Oh, no! (guys laughing)
- There's ketchup on the coals! Thank you, bugger, I
appreciate your hard work. - Well done. (guys mumbling and cheering) - Yes!
- Redemption. (upbeat music)
(Simon groans) - [Vik] Jesus. - Cheeses! (laughs)
- Ha! - I'm kinda (mumbles), you know. - I'm actually excited. Looking kinda (mumbles), you know. - [Vik] Halloumi tastes like
rubber (mumbles) in my mind. - [Simon] You don't like
the taste of halloumi? - [Vik] No. - So you're hatin' this. - I mean, these are normal. - I'm feeling a double cheese. - Yeah, maybe. Yeah, fuck it, it's done. - When the cat sorta gets hungry, it's done!
- Certainly not done, but you know what? (upbeat music) - [Vik] These flies can fuck off! Get off me! - Yeah?
- It's yes. - Oh, yes, sir, a 10. - It is a yes. (Simon groans) (upbeat music) - So good, (mumbles).
- Yes. You were right, by the way. - Yeah.
- Yes. (upbeat music) - Why do you have to do this? - That's not how they do it in the wild. - [Harry] Those beans are
gonna start bubbling up soon and you're gonna be like, you
will all beggin' for my beans. - No, they can spill everywhere. - No, no.
- It'll already start bubbling everywhere. You know what, I'm gonna
be back a little bit. - No, no, let's wait, let's wait.
- What you think? The tin's just gonna explode? - It's fine.
- Beggin' for my beans, he said.
- No, just about beans. - No, no, it'll be interesting. I'm excited to see this.
- I want to see how it turns out, yeah. - The guy who invented
fire must've been gassed. How mad is this?
- If you actually take it back to life.
- We're you trying to throw a stick in my beans? - [Josh] Yeah. - But, you've just hit things together. And this has happened. Not that we've done that. Oh, no!
(Ethan laughs) - [JJ] Why has that happened? - [Simon] The wind. - No! My beans! No!
- Oh, no! - You spilled the beans, boys! (guys chuckling)
- Flame is hot as well. - [Vik] Look at this! What are we witnessing?
- You know what, there's still half in there. We're still in luck. - This is actually a nice little scene of us sat around the campfire. - [Ethan] This is what (mumbles)
meant to wrap the video up! - JJ's fun to kick
marshmallows in those beans cooking on a rock. - We actually thought we'd come here. - Don't put it in. (chuckles) - We thought we'd come here, put up our tents, and be
like an actual competition. We then actually fish, catch fish. - We did!
- We caught a fish, to be fair. - Josh said he caught--
- You know what I mean. - Like a fish.
- Yeah. Like at least a lucky fish. - Yeah. (guys mumbling)
- It's on fire now. (guys laughing) - [Simon] Can't even do that. - Oi, Harry, that marshmallow
actually looks sick. - That marshmallow looks hot.
- That looks bangin'. - It is on fire. - Eat some marshmallow, what a diet. - [Simon] Dip that in the beans. - Oh, please, mate, dope. - That looks so good.
- Taste it, man. - All in one.
- You're just kinda jealous. - All in one.
- Ooh, it's crispy. - [Simon] All in one. All in one.
- It's gonna be liquidy in the middle.
- That's not all in one. - Oh, that's fuckin' amazing. - I'm actually jealous. - Go and get one then.
- Why don't you do it? - Uh, send-- (guys laughing) - There's one left.
(Ethan mumbles and laughs) - Send.
- Send. - [Ethan] Shut down. - Uh, send.
- Send. - Uh, send.
- Hey, yo, send. - That's the last one. - What, that's the last one? - Yeah. - [Josh] There you go. - [Simon] It's leaning
the wrong way, though. - Yeah.
- It's fine, it's fine. It will do. - No, it won't.
- Catch a little under-tan. - It's fair, that set in fire outside, there's nothing in this. (Simon scoffs)
- The wind! The wind though, the wind can do it. (Tobi gags) - [Vik] Give 'em the discount code, Ethan. (Simon yells) - Discount code for the day is beans. (guys talking at the same time) (guys laughing)
- The beans fell. - That timing is impeccable.
- Discount code is beans. - Have a spoon in there. - Thanks for watching
the Sideman Try and Camp. - [Harry] No, we're still going. - No we're not, no we're not. You're just spilling beans, that's it.
- We're gonna spend the night here now, completely and utterly in the wilderness. Thank you. (upbeat banjo music)
