Shopaholic Faces Death in Shock Tactics | Spendaholics | Only Human

[Music] meet lorna summers a single mom who simply can't resist bagging bargains that's two pounds fifty they're half-price reduced down to only a pound too good to resist I do love a bargain it makes me feel really good when I find something I love and it's been reduced that's right well that's super that makes my day as a part-time textile student Lorna takes home just nine hundred and eighty eight pounds a month but her bulk bargain buying means she spends over double that racking up a debt of thirty nine thousand pounds I like having beautiful things and I think beautiful things are there to be born I like to know good that it's part of who I am and I've always been like nothing Lorna certainly knows how to shop trouble is she doesn't know when to stop this is my clothes room where I keep all my beautiful things I have probably got fifty hats 30 pairs of gloves fifty or sixty glittery scar fifty blouses 150 skirts 250 dresses for t-ball games 120 pair shoes 130 pest boots that's quite a scary really but I love them it's time this bargain hunter made some reductions of her own lifestyle expert Jay hunt will show Lorna how to stop spending and start earning you're in your forties you have two children you might not be at rio carnaval on a float let's use this and get some money while psychological coach benjamin fry will tackle the buried emotions that drive her addiction do you think in some ways it's easier to live in there than out here can Lorna say no to the sale rail and finally face up to her responsibilities I think it'd be quite hard for me to change my shopping habits but I have come to the stage where I may have to end up setting my house [Music] single mum Lorna summers quit the rat race 12 years ago and moved to the Kent coast line to live by the sea with her parents help she bought a five-bedroom house which she shares with her two children 12 year-old Aurora and nine-year-old Connor not to mention their menagerie of eight dogs and ten puppies the daily routine can be rough since the relationship with the father of her two children collapsed five years ago Lorne has been spending like there's no tomorrow I've got one of those my motto in life is really if you see something you love and you really love it and you know you're gonna wear it you should buy it she's already remortgaged the house to pay off a forty thousand pound debt and has since run up a further thirty nine thousand pounds having debt is pretty horrible but when I look around and I've got all these beautiful things it's the swings and roundabouts then you have the things that you want but you have the debt as well Lorna has artistic ambitions she spent the past four years taking courses in flower painting mosaic tiling and currently hat design but studying doesn't come cheap I have to buy and quite a lot of materials art stuff sewing equipment and that of course all goes on my credit cards as well Lorna's parents have bailed her out before but they can't bail her out again if she doesn't change her ways she might lose her most prized possession I do love this house and my children love it and I'd really like them to grow up here so it would be all of us having to readjust and start buying whatever we want to [Music] while Lorna's at college Benjamin and Jay have borrowed the keys to her house they're looking for clues as to how she's wrapped up her jaw-dropping debt everything so over-the-top I mean look at those curtains most people would have like one curtain it's so very theatrical but it's almost like she just can't stop this sewing machine here you know that's a nice 300 pound 350 pound sewing machine that's a nice machine to have if you haven't got any money and also that's a nice collection of PlayStation games if you have any money I've had enough in here Jay do you dare - Benjamin oh my god it's getting worse as we get up here oh my god this ridiculous how much stuff is in here store actually but what's she doing with it all cuz all this stuff has got price tags on 4 pounds 18 pounds 20 pounds see it's interesting because I'm sure her mind would be thinking I'm such a clever bargain hunter all this money I'm saving but if we average out a purchase at 15 pounds just look how many there are it was going to be a thousand two thousand things in here [Music] I can't even get in here as we predicted and more it's sort of not shocking yet it's a shock I mean this to me looks like a vintage shop you know all this jewelry and it's like it's all color-coded even on the bed head there's all these hair clip arrangements yeah look amazingly you just found that their statements in a roomful of clutter Wow I'm just interested to see what she's spending a lot of credit card coop Barclaycard Lloyd's a Marx card capital one card when you look down all of this cancer research so she's obviously buys a lot from charity shops Primark Henny's TK max I mean all of them look pretty much the same and jammed up to their limits I think what she's doing is paying off minimum payment every month and then doing that thing of just moving all her money around so she feels she's in control I mean I might have to really have a serious go to this because if this is the amount of stuff she's buying these are going to be complicated yeah [Music] having scoured her finances Benjamin and Jay decide to show Lorna the true cost of her so-called savings they know lonna can't resist a bargain so they've arranged a little demonstration to put the booty can Benjamin and Jay drive home the seriousness of her situation now before we open this car boot we just wanted to ask you what you think your current debt situation is today do you know how much you owe yeah how much is it thirty-five thousand on my credit cards right well we've worked out that your debt is in fact 39,000 pounds in total does that surprise you right that we found another four I haven't added out for a few weeks for now right you don't seem at all fazed by this well I knew it's about 35 or so special ions and you think 39 is about 35 so that's all right there's just a few thousand doors that maybe they're thinking they've got you it's obvious Lorna doesn't understand just how bad things are to get the message across Benjamin and Jay take her for a spot of window shopping to reveal a frightening financial future if you carry on spending as you've been doing you'll see on this mannequin here in five years time you'll be a hundred thousand but if we look at even further than that maybe 10 years time 10 years time 160,000 pounds in death yes if nothing changes and everything just stays the same but things do change you sound confident that something will change otherwise you'll be retiring with three hundred and four thousand pounds of debt so what do you feel when you see these figures on the three t-shirts I don't think that far ahead but that far ahead will arrive it will eventually be five years from now ten years from now twenty two years from now I just always think something will come up and then the thing we're thinking about maybe we're that something it might not be what you wish it's not just gonna be something that happens to you it's something that you have to do as well yes and I'm not go to that yeah and I'm yeah I like doing things we can be a catalyst for change but the only person that can change his yes is Lorna ready to rise to the challenge I'll come to a crux really now where I need to do something about my debt and stop spending the way I do stop buying the kids everything they want stop making so many impulse purchases for myself and for them and become better at organizing what I do spend my money on it's time for Lorna to get a grip on reality she may love making hats but has she got a head for figures we just wanted to know if you have any idea how much you spend in an average week probably about 150-200 maybe you've done better than most actually because you do get through in an average week 217 pounds so not that far off was it now we've got to work out how much you think you can get through minimum amount in the next seven days 75 she thought 115 so she was bidding us half of what she thought that's not really cold turkey is it that's just no that's cutting back now I was gonna say just to be quite generous because you're a mother she's being kind to you what do you reckon it's how the money you give me is for food food travel transport treats out things to the children that's gotta count for everything right that's gonna be quite hard then if it's gonna tell you food and dog food and yeah petrol blown right what's interesting as you don't worried now for the first time today this is reveal my ideas about the future and ideas about the past don't seem to bother you but approaching the possibility of the next 7 days of the only 50 pounds I think you're beginning to see the reality of what money means and could mean in your life if you don't get some control over mm-hmm yeah you have made me nervous yeah [Music] the 50 pounds budget is going to be quite quite hard I think because I don't generally budget for shopping you know anything else I don't buy it those and when I need it I'll want it so it will be quite hard but as long as I can still put petrol in the car and feed the dogs and I have food that the kids want to eat then it will be okay it's Laura's first day of cold turkey and she's staying in to dye her hair she's finding avoiding the shops the simplest way to stick to her new 50-pound budget I haven't been out today I've just stayed home and done my college work so I'm getting really well with that so I haven't had to spend anything but tomorrow I've got to go and get dog food all these little guys it's only day two and Lorna's back on the high street her new budget means saying no to the children but can she control her urge to treat them it's really hard shopping with kids in Woolies because there is to so many things that they want to get so many toys the corner DVD that I'd like stationary stuff that Aurora lives they know we're on a budget so they have been very good and they have actually brought their own money but I will have to contribute just a little bit to their purchases but that's okay then there's the not so small matter of feeding a house full of dogs will they swap prime chunks for cold turkey it feels really really strange paying with cash I'm much more comfortable paying on my part because that's not so real today is Friday day four of cold turkey week I've managed not to buy any plays or shoes or boots or anything like that but I just haven't gone to those places where I would usually go and spend lots of money shop and put things on my credit card it's halfway through Lorna's cold turkey week and she's cut back on her spending but for a lasting change Benjamin will need to seek out the root of her compulsion well let's look at what has brought you to this point so you owe a lot of money mm-hmm and why do you owe it part of me thinks I don't see why I shouldn't have something to understand that a bit better would it be all right to kind of just talk about your life your history in your past when I was younger I was very very ill that's been awful lot of my childhood in hospital and I never thought I'd make it to beam 30 and so to sit here and be 43 it's really great always the same illness with different things yeah I'm chronic asthmatic and what would happen when you're in hospital you'd have to be just monitored or I've been also German with needles in me arms and intravenous trips and stuff I've had a few near-death experiences and your attitude seems to be well you know I'm so lucky to be alive why not have whatever I want which suggests that one of the things that you don't prioritize or even notice you want is a kind of secure financial situation I've always also had the attitude that something will come along has that been your experience that something does come along I've always had really good parents who have always bailed me out maybe it's not something but somebody that comes in yeah maybe I should say somebody yeah Lorna's parents separated when she was 18 Benjamin wants to explore whether this key period may have affected her choice of partners I'd like someone like my dad my dad because he was always if I'm he was there for my mama she needed him you know he was there he was there for me if I was there or stuff so you never trusted anyone as much as he trusted your dad no it's on the one hand your dad's a hero on the other hand he's abandoned your mother so you know the the guys that seemed to you to be most exciting most heroic hand-in-hand is gonna be a real sense of mistrust yeah it's an offer off me to trust someone meanwhile you're suffering you're alone you're raising kids alone and I think that that does pain you and where there's pain there is often anger I have heard people have had the long relationship I have with with roughly guys I mean it lovely guys but not know anybody that I've ever thought yeah I'm gonna marry you so where does that go where does that fear go where does the anger that always comes with fear where does that go okay well if it doesn't go out it goes in and it becomes self-destructive yeah and it tells you things like well why shouldn't I have it after all I've had a miserable time having this disease I've been terrified frequently by it my dad left I can't get a man to be with it I want to be with you know I've got lovely kids but no father figure for them why shouldn't I have a 27 pound belt from monsoon or whatever it is that's lately yeah when you say it like that that makes everything it does yes second we're gonna sexually you want to go now shopping yeah go I do I say make me want to go shopping right now you want to go shopping you gain control of your feelings I want to go shopping out of here right now went shopping what would that achieve you when I shop and I see things I like it just makes me feel happy I'm not looking at sparkly things I've got looking at pretty things it's the sunny side of life yeah it's the light isn't it at the end of that tunnel yeah and do you think the tunnel is the illness yeah yeah do you live with the fear every day that you could die of an asthma attack that day I do absolutely but I don't think about that well if you live with the terrifying possibility of a dangerous attack at any moment now is a good place to stay the past has disappointments and regrets the future has potential catastrophe the present is looking really good there is only now yeah absolutely there is only now it was a really good opening up a session and it's made me think about things in a way that I hadn't because I hadn't really thought that me being here was a kind of cream tribute in factor to anything but maybe it is [Music] day five of Lorna's cold turkey week she has just 16 pounds left of her 50-pound budget hard times means she's calling in mum for a helping hand out today my mum will buy tea for us it should be nice because we haven't really been out all week it's a treat I still doing really well on the spending front because we're just eating what we've got indoors I haven't been shopping for food next week would be harder because I probably had to get some food understand fifty pounds is quite a low budget for a week and I think for me my children and my dogs deliver while lorna congratulates herself on her short term cutbacks jay summons her to london to show her the bigger picture she wants lorna to start paying back her thirty nine thousand pound debt so Donna what we're gonna do today is talk about your new budget but before we have a look at this I just wanted to ask you how you'd go on with your cold turkey week I was actually seven pounds under Wow did you not feel pressured to go and spend that seven pounds were you happy to have that oh I was really happy to have it yeah I was very pleased that I've managed not to spend anything that I shouldn't don't anything frivolous no let's have a look at the long-term budget now this is your current expenditure column where we split everything up at the moment you're getting through two thousand two hundred and fifty seven pounds twenty eight P now what's coming in is nine hundred and eighty eight pounds and three P the overspend here is one thousand two hundred and sixty nine pounds twenty five so it's easy to see how your debt is accumulating now what we've done here on the recommended expenditure is go through and make some cuts now the credit card debt which is thirty nine thousand at the moment you're paying back seven hundred and twenty nine pounds sixty three pens now what we're suggesting is that you put all of those debts into one consolidated loan which would mean you'd only have to make one payment every month of five hundred and seventy pounds we've made some cuts here food toiletries and cleaning we've cut that back to a hundred and fifty which I personally don't think is going to be that hard for you what is going to be a bother to you is clothes and crafts now at the moment that's coming in at 284 pounds twenty five a month and we've cut that back to fifty pounce now what we've based that on is that that 50 pounds is there as money for you to buy things for the children but what it's effectively cut back is you buying anything for yourself now with all the best cuts in the world what we've still got here is a deficit of six hundred and fifty six pounds 78 so this is where our worry is to me there's two really obvious areas there's thinking about renting a room out or selling the clothes is something that's just staring us right in the face here hmm yeah I'll have to think of any but renting a room with the possibility okay while Lorne is still a little reluctant to act on any of Jays bright ideas Benjamin's taking a darker approach he wants to explore whether Lorna's childhood brushes with death have affected her attitude to life and paying off her 39 grand debt well I think today what I want to work on with you is really more about what happened to you as a child around the illness particularly around you know the real and terrifying experiences of that almost bringing you close to death [Music] Benjamin hopes Lorna's reaction when faced with symbols of death may reveal deeper feelings about her own mortality how do you feel about coffins don't you like them I can't imagine anybody does so this is simply death what I'd like you to do is I'd like you to get in the coffin all right I mean yes you know what I want to see is what it's like for you to get in the coffin okay Oh Just My Size how does that feel I can't be actually yeah he's determined to see how far he can push Lorna before she becomes uncomfortable with tackling the issue of her own death so we just see what it's like to put the lid on if you like okay cozy yeah you're cozy in your coffin with the lid on yeah okay I'm okay in here yeah and you're completely calm and relaxed yeah okay I think that this does demonstrate an unusual relationship with death you're really fine in there aren't you yeah do you think in some ways it's easier to live in there than out here well yeah like it's hard life throws curveballs yeah yeah you put your glasses back on so I can't see your eyes you know people sometimes do that when they want to disconnect they don't really want to talk about all right yeah it's easy being in there let's see how you feel coming out flame had Phoenix how do you feel out of the box not as comfy as I was in it it's a bummer isn't it you're gonna have to live your life outside the box until you finally get to go in it forever yeah because I'd always expected it because it was always around because it was something that I do I said okay yeah I can do with that that might happen tomorrow yeah so we're supporting planning for the day after tomorrow yeah you see the loner that believes that tomorrow she might be dead he's never really going to pay off her credit cards is she no Benjamin sets lonna a task to use the Polaroids he's taken to create a collage of her feelings about death how'd you get on yeah think it's okay yeah so this is kind of your montage of dead Lorna but you've been living with the dying Lorna well your life ironically Emily I've never thought of it quite like that so shall we try and bury that idea that tomorrow you might die I'm sure we try to live with tomorrow you might live and plan for the future I'm really live we're trying to leave behind this idea you felt was always there that tomorrow might be your last day or even today yeah it might not be here tomorrow those are the thoughts that stay in the box yeah we walk away from that was quite weird but hopefully I will be able to think that I'm not just gonna drop dead tomorrow which is always kind of just been in the back of my mind doing what we did has kind of hopefully laid it to rest so I should be able to move on so it's been a good thing to do back home in Kent Jay started thinking of new ways for Lorna to start paying off her debt she's convinced Lorna skills and obsession with clothes could yield some answers what is it that you want to end up doing sort of within this whole big area of fashion and I do like styling people and I also enjoy making hats so when we look forward to you making money out of fashion how have you got a plan as to how that is going to happen I haven't got a plan that's alright the worry I have is about you being focused as a business woman because I think what you're in danger of being is like a hundred other people who are helping their friends quite good like shopping have got a good eye but in order to move out of that level and get you focused using what you've got to pay the debts off and moving forward into earning some money out of something creative I think we've got a long way to go I am not good at the business side right no I'm good at the ideas and I'm good at the career side because I'm also fascinated by the fact of where you wear all these things but I don't wear all these things because a lot of these things have still got their labels on yeah is that things you're planning to wear no they're just things that I've liked at the time and I thought them and I put them in here and I still like them how would you feel about getting rid of some of it that's also getting rid of much of this is horrifying and it's yeah it's not an avenue I wanted to go down really I haven't collected all this stuff for years and years and years to just go and sell it off cheaply I have to ask you about this it's like a sort of Mardi Gras outfit have you ever worn this no this for me is red rag to a bull you are the person who has outfits for every every single occasion that possibly happen you're in your forties you live in home Bay you have two children you might not be at Rio Carnival on a float let's use this and get some money we've got thirty nine thousand pounds worth to pay back there is a point at which we have to get real and this is it with a tiny selection from her gigantic wardrobe Jay drags a resistant lonna to East London to see whether she can make a profit from her booty of bargains they're meeting vintage clothes expert amber butchart for evaluation so something like this which is a label piece suit is that worth selling this is DNG a diffusion range of dolce gabbana so it's probably not gonna be worth as much as a natural designer piece would be we've probably priced at about 35 pounds many suits see what I'm really interested in is having gonna fit something like this because this is I think quite a cool piece this is fantastic I really love this it's really great it's really theatrical you would I couldn't tell you where else you could go to buy something like this how long did that take you to make that probably only an afternoon I was going to a party I need to write I sort of made something area to see that's fantastic a lot of vintage pieces we have in here are all homemade because obviously home dress making was was how most women created affordable fashion in their 50s 40s 50s and even in the early 60s until we got mass produced clothing so a lot of the stuff we have in here is homemade something like this that it's kind of really theatrical we'd probably price this possibly even at more than the DNG right as I see I think how much would you price that up in here we'd probably price this for about 30 to 40 pounds I'd say can you remember how much you originally paid for that and when I bought the material so it would have been under ten pounds just right now the other thing I want to do to ever left it in here is this leopard print coat this is fantastic I really really like this piece it's great this is the sort of thing we're looking for here all the I'm so something like this there's a good quality fake fur and it's a good fit we'd value that quite a lot here we project I started about 65 to 75 pounds I think and how much did you pay for that for 95 in a charity shop oh I've had a few years and I do wear it fantastic so when you start thinking of things as money what does that feel that I caught does it not register it's interesting to know how much they're worth now if I wanted to sell them it makes me thinking how much other things that I've got that I'm really not attached to that much yeah would be worth well that's progress yeah I think Lorne has really done quite well today it's very small steps with Lorna the whole time because I think she is quite scared and I think she is quite defensive she's very very resistant to selling clothes but she really doesn't have any other options so at least today she's starting to get her head around selling some of them if not all of them and that is progress excited by the chance of turning old clothes into new cash Lorna has a flash of inspiration so I've been thinking about maybe having a shop eventually and selling things I make and some of my clothes and other clothes that I get specifically to sell that would be good oh yeah you're such a minister Lorna's beginning to consider ways to make money in the here and now but Benjamin still think she has problems with planning for the future he's roped in her kids to draw some pictures that show their long-term dreams and ambitions I have here work about a commission from it young man my son what does it mean to you I think that's probably me doing my college work and there's him working on ancient Egyptian thing because it's quite into that on the moment a quick look at the next one another very lovely picture very talented young artists hmm what do you think it might represent just from giving it a first awful look it looks like me getting married actually what I asked him to do was to draw pictures that represented an aspect of their future the interesting thing about this is that actually it's Aurora's wedding alright that's good yeah this is you know mm-hmm being so proud just coming back to Conners which I didn't tell you when we looked at this that this was about the future cuz you very much placed it in the past and the present mm-hm he didn't think kind of saying he wants to become an archaeologist and there's you at work and the pyramids and him the reason I asked him to do this is because when we did that exercise with the coffin what we discovered is that you have a pretty comfortable relationship with the present as being all that's left and therefore there's something about the normal states that people get into about their future that maybe is missing for you so I thought to myself who the people that you really think are great your kids and they both have a very clear concept of the future and the things that they want to look forward to doing what do you think you could take that as an example yeah Benjamin thinks that by convincing lonna to imagine an optimistic future she'll put more effort into managing her life okay this is a house in the country and it's a house that I've actually seen and I absolutely love it and I do one day want to live in this house and here's my shop and here's lots of people going into our shop here are my children and their friends they're just having fun and enjoying my life and here's my dogs and then here are people wearing my house I guess what strikes me about it in one way is that you point to the house first and then to the business second and of course in reality it would be the other way around wouldn't it you'd need a successful business in order to get the house there's a sense of I'll put all the pieces of my life in place and find a way to pay for it later yeah yeah so I think what you've got to focus on if you really want to make this come true it's how do you made this side of it happen when you think about you know the strange thoughts have actually somehow finding it more comfortable in the coffin than outside of the coffin where do you make sense of this future I haven't projected myself enough and I haven't thought about the future enough I believed you into thinking that maybe you won't die tomorrow yeah yeah and then there's all this anxiety though well what the hell am I going to do with that time and so this is a really nice way of beginning to treat that anxiety begin to modify by having a clear picture of what you want while Lona comes to terms with her future she still has to grapple with the financial demands of the present one of my puppies yeah his radio so I'm a moment going to Canterbury to the vet's twice a day morning and evening with her this week's budget has totally gone out the window because so far she's cost me 280 just fine back in London Jays alarmed that Lorna has spent over a week's income on vet bills she calls a crisis meeting with Benjamin I've been battling with her a Bing and now she's just gone completely over budget and spent all this money on the dog they do think that maybe this saving the dog is is a striking parallel to her experiences where she nearly died as a child and was repeatedly saved from that so it may be that this is a huge emotional trigger for her and not just a financial lapse there's no doubt about it Lorna is incredibly creative she's got loads and loads of ideas but what she lacks is the ability to sit have quiet space and plan how she's going to use her skills to earn herself some money and help pay off her debt that is just not something that occurs to her I think that she's only just begun to think about the idea of there being a future so this whole thing about money and debt and saving and planning it's only just beginning to make any sense and whether or not that's gonna kick in soon enough to actually have an influence on this process I just don't know it sounds like you have I'm only just beginning to scratch the surface well you and me both I mean I'm still gonna try but there is a hell of a lot more to do with her and she needs to get on board really quickly if we're gonna make any real difference with her with Lorna's budget completely blown she's staying at home to cut back on any spending but there's good news on the dog front hey this is scarlet who's been ever so ever so ill she's on the money now on you darling yeah so much better she's barking at the other dogs she was gonna be fine hmm and if you stormy he's always here eating my earrings and look in my ears and it's time there is life with her sick puppies vet bill amounting to more than three hundred and eighty pounds Benjamin thinks Lorna's ten dogs and eight puppies are hindering her future as well as her finances he calls her for a meeting what I worry about is that in saving the dog's life you might be killing your dream of the future well you could do if you spent all your money on dogs and you never had the money to start your hat shop or find that lovely house by the sea then there is a connection between money and future you know that but there's not a question of whether or not I would have had the dog put to sleep just because she was poorly no way no how and why is that because I could save her and I did and I Nesta through it and that's why I'm here not very because I worry that you've projected a lot of yourself into this dog because this is your story isn't it you were saved you were nurse through it you survived and you're here to tell the tale so for you to let even one of ten puppies go it just feels like there's too much reliance maybe on these substitute relationships that's gonna prevent you from forming maybe more human relationships and I'm really worried that you're replacing those kind of dynamics and relationships with stuff there's a lot of stuff in your house there's a lot of animals in your house yeah I can see that I can see we are going about yeah yeah I think about the dogs and I think about everything else in my life and so therefore I don't have to think about anything else that may scare me all about I'm not ready for all that yeah it's a bit of an issue for me so yeah maybe I am kind of behind him behind the dogs and all the staff and everything else that I have going on in my life with Lorna coming to the end of her college course Jay wants to turn hat-making into money making their meeting milliner Chloe Scrivener since training with leading uber hat designer Philip Treacy Chloe's been running her own thriving business for over seven years Lorna I want to introduce you to Chloe here so initially when you started out how long did it take you to set up being self-employed and starting up the actual business it was actually quite an immediate thing but I think the things I make and design now are very different and I really know who my market are and I really work towards my strengths and that's maybe the thing that takes a little bit more time what was the hardest thing for you I think initially getting the confidence to get out there and get people knowing about you and what you're doing that's what I've never managed to do so far I've had so many ideas for different things and I try different things but I've never gone that that's that reward to making them owe me a living do you think that's a confidence thing yeah that does scare me I think that yeah nobody tell me that's the difficult thing for everybody do you find you have to sort of sell yourself you know completely and always got told off not wearing my own creations and things like that and I think if you if you're not prepared to do it for yourself then get friends that are maybe a bit more extravagant and outrageous and get them kind of like promote you as well it's really making me feel quite excited because the thought of somebody buying one of my hairs and wanting to buy one and it must feel really good when somebody does buy them yeah and you know they're gonna go out and wear them that's great yeah you couldn't have a better feeling especially when you've made something specific to go with an outfit particularly for a bride or something like that and then they send you a photo and they tell you you know how fantastic it was what you did for them and Bridal is that an area to go for or to avoid if you want to actually the making some money I think it's definitely an area to go for it's definitely a really sort of big market that's getting bigger and bigger and there's a lot of shows as well yeah cuz it's like sparkly isn't it yeah you see because no one really likes sparkly things and also vintage II and I think that whole kind of the stuff that you naturally like and pick up like a magpie could be easily slightly slanted into doing really really beautiful pretty Bridal things so lots of ideas then see you look happy now you look like you're sort of like oh yeah I'm feeling really excited oh good lord happy today [Music] fired up by her meeting Lorna's taking matters into her own hands I got a wedding magazine the other day so that I could have a look through styles and the different prices for things I want to do headdresses and tiaras and sparkly things and things with handmade lace on and you know I could do some really beautiful things inspired by the magazines lonna heads into London to find specialist materials she can transform into top sellers I've gone here specifically to look for items that I can make headdresses from and then hopefully sell them and make a profit and I'm really looking forward to making their dresses as well I'm really excited kam lorna the reformed spender holic resist the urge to splurge that was really my first shopping experience after cold turkey and it was absolutely fabulous so many feathers to choose from the way I dealt with it was to give myself a 50-pound limit otherwise I would have just ended up putting here more and more stuff which is what always happens when I go to shops so give you myself a limit was really good and words because I only spent 42 yeah now she's got all her raw materials Lorna's back in Kent looking for places to sell her creations and finding out the cost of running a local market store so cheap in India yes which the boy is 16 pound at ember and home by his 23 she's hoping this will be a good starting point for her business dream impressed by Lana's initiative Jai's rewarding her with a chance to get some new clothes without spending any money she's introducing lorna to a new cost-effective craze called swishing some could say that swishing at the glorified jumble sale it's actually not that it's glamorous clothes swapping and we get a whole range of women here some want to save the planet and they don't want to do it in bad clothes so am i here to save money so they can get the buzz of shopping without the strain on the credit card now this is music to my ears how do you think you would feel in terms of if you swap some stuff here would that give you the same fuzz as going into one of the local shops and buying something I don't know guests at swishing parties have to bring at least one item that can leave with as many as they'd like the catch they can only get in and grab the clothes once the swap is declared open [Music] for people I'm just don't know if it's going to be my cup of tea I don't like the fact that any moment now everybody's going to be grabbing stuff I do I really like this jacket I'd rather be able to buy it they thought that I could have that jacket if I get to it in time is the nice thought but also the thought that if I don't get to that jacket in time somebody else will get it it's actually making me feel sick with trying on time over the ladies are awaiting starter's orders can lorna battle the masses to get her perfect green jacket [Applause] oh yeah I'm really pleased I got really nice cards again with the round got this lovely dress as well that should go really beautifully with the green jacket so I'm really pleased four weeks ago Lorna's friends each thrift shopping had dumped her 39 thousand pounds in the red [Music] since then lifestyle expert Jay hunt has shown her how to earn cash from her bargains and her hat designs off any really exciting good psychological coach Benjamin Frye has made her face the reasons behind her non-stop spending the loner that believes that tomorrow she might be dead he's never really going to pay off her credit cards as she no and helped her focus on a brighter future lawn is almost at the end of her journey but there's one last mental obstacle to overcome Benjamin worries Lorna's bitter experiences of people letting her down may have made her too frightened to ask for help he's taking her to a place in Kent we're putting her life in other people's hands is vital if I said to you have a look out there and trust me that it'll be good for you to go across it when I tell you to what are you gonna say oh my legs aren't jelly do you trust me though to take you on an exercise that will help explore your relationship with trust and people yeah I guess they yeah there we go there we go come with me Lorna's mission is to complete a treacherous 30-foot high rope bridge and assault course Benjamin wants to see if Lorna will agree to trust his precise instructions to complete the course getting scared yet heartily Benjamin's worried Lorna doesn't seek help when she needs it which may be related to her trust issues you know if you get really scared or worried you can ask me to come up and help you okay pretty high up and it's really bouncy I think one of the dynamics below knows that she will struggle on and on on her own and not ask for help until it's too late I'd much rather she learned to ask for help and the trustor people can be there for her next lorna needs to take a giant leap of faith and swing into a 30-foot high net will she ask Benjamin for support I don't know if I can do this help I don't need help I can do it come on sorry [Music] Johnson how [Music] good well done yeah that was really horrible but it was harder to ask for help no I just never going do it for the next task Lorna must take a death-defying slide on a 270 foot high wire I really lose my wife I don't like myself frozen with fear and refusing to ask for help Lorna's not moving believing she'll find it easier to complete the course with him there Benjamin steps into the breach the reason I come up here because this next bit having seen you on that rope bridge I'm really worried that you can't do on your own so I'm going to be on standby in case you need me hope you go Illumina okay all right yeah [Applause] right you'll hate me for saying this but you seem to get better after someone came up there really doing anything but that's what it's about for you always thinking right if there's nothing a person can do and they don't exist fact that someone can just be doesn't register with you know whenever people have just been you just goes wrong just doesn't work so your trust has been lost yeah by other people's behavior yeah I don't trust people no trust me specially man hmm in order to persuade Lorna to consider asking for help Benjamin is upping the ante by insisting she completes the final rope bridge blindfolded I'm gonna make you do something quite difficult for the blindfold on you're gonna have to trust me to keep you safe no I need to give me your hand here now she can't see Lorna finally has to put her trust in Benjamin [Music] okay stop don't move otherwise you'll fall down yeah that was really interesting okay why because at the beginning it was really scary that's me when you were right up there on that rope bridge so much more difficult and dangerous than this tiny kids bridge you didn't need me at all he wanted me to go away hmm yeah I need to do here exactly these kind of made me realize that I don't ask for help when I could really do with it and I just struggle on on my own I'll do the best I can and sometimes if I ask for help it would be easier I'm gonna give a lot of thought right it's nearly two months since Lorna's financial makeover she's come to meet Jay and Benjamin in one of her more outlandish creations to assess how life on a budget has been treating her there Lola got to the end of this process which I know for you it was sometimes difficult how do you feel yeah it's been good it's given me some real good tips and some things to think about and it's giving me a little push which I needed and it has helped to clarify my thoughts and we on the track yeah I've got to ask what's that on your head did you write this I did make me some ideas for a rewrite man I made this through a wedding I had a coat I made myself a really long coat and the same material that the hat is because those go north you throughout all of this you know we've looked at areas where you could actually use your creativity have you decided on what is the way forward for you at the moment I'm thinking of going down the bridal headwear uh-huh oh yeah and I've investigated some wedding affairs in London right are quite expensive to do but I'm gonna go and look anyway yeah see what everything wrong with having alone but I'm gonna try and book up to do one in Kent which will give me something to aim for so I'm going to work towards that but also had another idea as well as the bridal head yes I'm really looking forward to doing I'm also thinking maybe funeral oh that's interesting you should choose funeral yes and this may actually be some playing through the unconscious need to resolve some of your own near-death experiences so it could be very healthy if you're on a business perspective but emotionally it might really pay dividends as well have you been getting on resisting the temptation to pop into the shops all the time because that was part of your daily routine wasn't it I do sometimes still feel the urge to go in the pool but if I'm going to the dog shot which is right things are but I've avoided it's happier yeah I remember when we first met at that car boot sale the you seemed no it's not bothered with you were 35 or 39 grand in debt for ground was not much do you think that in a way your attitude to money has now changed I don't know if my attitude to money has changed I'm just I'm making them really conscious effort not to use my credit card but at least you know now do you not I mean you know what the debt is and now I'm trying not to add too yeah no need to add to it if I can make something from that yet like buying the habit yeah I want to make a profit from that yeah we went through our battle about clothes selling how are you feeling about that now I've sorted out quite a lot yeah I have yeah in my clothes room yeah is that hard um no not really well Benjamin and I have got something for you which we thought would keep you focused definitely on getting rid of things rather than buying some new things so that is for you thank you what do you think that's it I'm no idea read it out all right saluton honest vendor holux would like to award you a six-day picture with supermarkets that'd be fun I know so many other people no chatting selling alright okay that's great thank you well done lon I think you've made a terrific effort there's been a lot of difficult things to look at but you've been a really good sport yeah you have only been in good spirits it worked really hard and I hope it all works out and if I get married again just like that two weeks later Lorna's finally tackled her wardrobe decluttered and ready to sell at market on this pile here I've got lots of skirts at least 30 skirts that I really don't need anymore and in this bag here I've got at least 40 dresses and tops I don't need either so that's good and let's pin down my clothing collection she's realizing her business dreams with newfound confidence I'm concentrating on making hats and producing my designs and stockpiling them oh then when I finally do it I've got it already making money from something I absolutely love doing will be so great

Channel: Only Human

Views: 39,769

Rating: 4.7672954 out of 5

Keywords: only human, only human channel, only human documentary, shopaholics, shopaholics anonymous, shopaholics bbc, shopaholics documentary, shopaholics full episode, shopaholics uk, shopping addiction debt, shopping addiction documentary, shopping addiction full episodes, shopping addiction help, shopping addiction recovery, shopping addiction true life, spendaholics, spendaholics documentary, spendaholics full episodes, spendaholics tv show, spendaholics uk, spendaholics youtube

Id: yGlNqiyL_cQ

Length: 55min 55sec (3355 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 03 2020