I have 9 Maxed Out Credit Cards and £20,000 of Debt | Spendaholics | Only Human

[Music] 36 year-old Marlon Cunningham loves to shop but some there like price and come into it I like it then I buy it let me try it honest just take it home this gadget mad computer whiz earns 30 thousand pounds a year but a spending addiction fueled by nine credit cards has left my long 20 thousand pounds in debt I just haven't got a clue it's gone what he needs is some professional advice lifestyle coach Jay Hunt is a mine of money-saving information and let's remember what we're after it's trapped in our hands today psychologist Mark Hopkins has years of experience and he'll need them all to crack this tough not talk about it what made what no won't talk about it okay we're going doing any further into that one Marlon's cards are at their limit something has to give I can't got loads of clothes at the moment I've got loads of little gadgets and I've got loads of things which on the outside can be seen but I've got nothing which is gonna carry me forward [Music] mylan Cunningham has been a computer software consultant for 13 years his success has brought in a decent wage and he's enjoyed milking it dry it's not just personal computers it's personal grooming whether it's looking sharp or smelling good he's rather partial to a drop of aftershave barely a week goes by without my LAN splashing out and all over but it's not just grooming that captures Marlins attention this magpie is drawn to anything shiny and new is important Marlin lives alone in Easton Northwest London experts Jay Hunt and Mark Hopkins have just four weeks to steer Marlin out of financial peril they begin by investigating his executive pad do you think that's it I think it's a really nice car and I reckon is Jay is looking for signs of where the money is going taking one step at a time while mark's focusing on the reasons behind the nonstop spending Marlon's banished to his beloved Beemer I'm going through my house not really something that I'm looking forward to this has been Marlins home for the last nine years this is really weird you know because I had a really clear idea in my head what his flat was going to look like and I was imagining like bachelor pad minimalist and everything almost sort of black and white very modern and it's like there's no that's all I mean it's I mean there's just loads of things on the form in this strikes me first one that comes to mind impulsive do you need two pcs do you need two DVDs it feels really disorganized and cluttered so there's so much stuff all over the place nothing has its place and I kind of think what does that say about what's going on in his head you know disorganization clutter of the mind but it's weird because it's like all this money's been spent on this and yet look yeah those blinds over there could do with going up and this moment in time I I don't have this light going home because just don't like the way it is so there's a lot of there's a lot of work that needs to be done Wow they're just so much stuff in here you've got two sets of rollerblades two tennis racquets ABS ball you got a bicycle you got a guitar you got golf clubs there's just so much in here yeah I mean it's be using all of this is just chaotic isn't there right bedroom yeah let's do it okay okay well the shoes you know what's interesting about here though is that although there's it initially it looks chaotic like the rest of the flat what's interesting is that there's much more neatness right all those shoes I would say you're right oh you know put out it's all very neat I know where all my belts are I know where all my shoes are to most people at 36 definitely would know what aftershave they like and what suits them without having to have 40 pots of it and displayed as well but you know what mark there is a lot of money that's been spent I mean there's a lot of clothes in here there's a lot of aftershave I mean look at all these bells this is a guy in terms of his public persona I think there's a lot of thought that goes into that he's really careful about how he looks and I kind of wonder why he's like that be really interesting to explore that kitchen you see again it's so weird it's like all this pose well some of it they're quite a few bills there as well I look at it it's like a nice little yeah stash that mascot West Morgan Stanley Amex goldfish Burton egg card Fraser card I mean the in theory there could be a lot of debt on those cars there are insurance and those estate all right I'm gonna take this with this yeah yeah I think I think it's me really interesting me just with all these different dynamics going on in this house we'd better get started computer consultant Marlin Cunningham has a 30,000 pound salary and a 20,000 pound death where does it all go after seeing his bank statements mark and Jay decide it's time to meet Marlon and confront him with the facts about his chaotic finances slightly boom used we brought you to a chemist as you can see today can you think of any reason why we might have done that no I think of pulling the barmy I mean a new toothbrush he's Jerry I do what I want you to do is to move to the front of the camera see if there's anything that you like there so you go forward [Music] [Laughter] can you think what that whole thing represents this really represents each sales assistant being a hundred pounds you spend on aftershave each year and there are sixteen sales assistants here so that is sixteen hundred pounds a year that you are spending purely on aftershave every year 1600 that's high that's excessive sure it's not that but is it worth 1,600 pounds to smell that nice possibly not okay well we better get you dried up cuz I've got something else to show you so come with me so back to your house more and more familiar surroundings I think we ought to use your scarf yeah I agree blindfold is that all right to worry I'll go upstairs and then you can see what we've done with your living room hmm hope you approve of it okay okay yeah there we go welcome into your own living room Alan okay take off your blindfold Marlon have a look at you nothing when I'm you decorate there for me it's full of quite a lot of wires we've sort of created a scrapyard really and what do you think we could be illustrating with all of this it even says to you welcome to Marlon scrap yard have you any idea why we've covered it with gadgets and wires you didn't like the way our decorated before like this I assume with all the computer stuff it's our computers and well there is a lot of computer whai here in fact in this room is 3000 meters of computer wire each meter representing a pound because you in the past year has spent 3000 pounds on gadgets and technology that are now sitting in this room quite a lot of them collecting dust how much did you think you were spent on gadgets last year we kind of said a little less than that actually probably - right right I'm more worried about how you feel about the amount that you spend on your gadgets and computers and accessories things actually need right okay Marlon okay because it's quite a lot of stuff in this flat so would you then say that everything in this flat you actually need well what we want to do is to sit down with you and really go through your budget and how we're going to move for but seeing as we've completely destroyed your living room we can't do it here so we thought we'd go and have a drink down the road yeah okay come on [Music] Marlon may be responsible for multi million pounds IT systems but when it comes to his own accounts he's well out of order J and Mark want Marlon to spend the next seven days on a shoestring budget have you got any awareness of what your average spend is in a week Toki Onix no no 150 200 yeah we have gone through all your accounts and all your statements and we've worked out how much you spend in an average week and I'll tell you how much you spend an average week you spend 463 pounds which looks what Authority been less well okay we'll put this over here for a minute and all three of us together will now calculate how much money you think you can live on for the next seven days okay about 150 okay so 20 definitely and then let's add another ten so how do you feel seriously about 30 pounds I really think all is due right how to set up I'd lunch yeah odd occasion could you make stuff to take to work yeah it's only five days sometimes time okay all right but then there's that there's things like they must be something I need there's a need or ones I hope things are one meant for it but it is interesting when you actually work out what you're gonna need over the next Sunday's because you've got stuff still in the fridge as well you've got a full tank of petrol you got plenty of computer games and electronic equipment to amuse yourself so you don't need to go out it's looking good round you alright physical pounds stick who the fireball I think I can do it I tell you what we'll give you the extra three quid okay that's 33 pounds Merlin will have to survive an entire week on the kind of money he usually blows on just one bottle of aftershave to be this very harsh 33 pound I still think it was harsh you could have gave me a bit more than that but yeah and it's trying to stick to my 33 pounds for the next week today shopping is giving away to fresh air and exercise Marlon's dusted off his rollerblades as you can see from the plays they have much used in the past always been about a year I think year and a half of probably summer of 2004 I think that movie in 2003 even [Music] as you can see I need a lot of a lot of work so I think I wanted to bring them out a bit more often good exercise I can feel the pounds dropping her and I'm actually putting these things into use which I've had four let's not say how long I've had been for Marlin usually drives to work in the London suburbs but today he has a meeting in the city centre to avoid pain a congestion charge he's ditching the car and catching the train but Marlins good intentions soon unravel he's forgotten his street map it has to buy a new one enough stuff in the house to keep it going and I'm not being biased sandwiches or anything like that I mean coming home and eating so I may be losing a bit of weight as well it's going well I think I'll manage it - perfect notice he's apprehensive about tomorrow's meeting with Mark there are talk emotions and feelings that I'm not that open with my emotions and feelings on - totally honest there but I'll talk about I talk about as much as I think I need to talk about to get the help that I may need I'm always talking to my friends or more listen to their problems I'm hi I'm really good at that I'm really good at listening to the people's problems and solving area solving their problems my own probably not ask I'm not so good at so yeah tomorrow's gonna be interesting we shall see what we'll see how it pans out if Marlon is going to make a lasting change psychologist Mark Hopkins will need to trace the route of his spending urges but my George my spending comes from splurging why did you get those urges and when there's no specific time it could be I could be happy I could be sad I could've just from the lottery it could be absolutely anything there's there's nothing that defines me doing going out and spending mark has discovered that Marlins father left the family when he was a baby as a result his mum spent her working week away from her children mark wants to know how this affected Marlon do you remember when your mom moved away not really odd to talk about to be performed okay now where do you remember that don't remember to be careful honest she was away in the week what she came back at a weekend yeah not a lot more to say on it and I think we want to be faithful numbers it's clear that he's uncomfortable talking about his childhood am i right saying that you had a religious background growing up is that fair to say but we went to the meetings of Jehovah's Witnesses if you can talk about it what made what no won't talk about it okay the work going going any further into that one okay and would you and would you talk about why you've decided to move away from that no Chris will part partially the same thing so I weren't going to it okay with Marlon reluctant to talk about his personal life mark tries a different approach if you look in your flat you've got loads there's one room in particular that just jumps out I mean which has got like golf clubs in it abide rollerblades guitar at work you know books it suggests to me there's someone who kind of likes to keep really busy like to do lots of things and kind of probably moves on I do lots of different things yeah there's loads of ideas which I've had in my life and some of them I've seen be successful some I haven't been there's certain things that I'd love to do I think I think give us many times what do you love to do internet cafes I thought about internet cafes long before they came on board right okay never did anything about it look cafe for people coming in so stopped you taking her any further suppose organization being us I'll use a term it's been organized and and and having and prioritizing my time to actually spend time doing it was spending the time doing it I could easily get diverted spend my time doing doing other things okay and I think that's it's the dive being diverted doing other things why I didn't do it what kind of things we diverse I'm trying to build up a picture here so yeah this great idea gonna make loads of money and then we could win anything okay give us examples of what could have anything it was not anything anything could be me going out of me go shopping me playing on my gains so some of the things that distracted you where things like going out or playing on a Playstation so things they've kind of in a hierarchy of importance for you you might suggest might not be as important I was holding on for I think what you still but they still are able to distract you from kind of those it allows you to yeah because it allows you to relax sometimes a few minds discontinue lacta there's no relaxation I need to have some level of relaxation mark has a real challenge on his hands so Malin was really vague when I talked to him I couldn't really pin down what the root cause of the spending was what I do know is there's a real difference between his public persona which is this aspiration around the clothes and the aftershaves and the accessories and how he looks versus his private life which is in his flat which is that this organization and the chaos and I really want to focus on that to understand what that's all about and Marlin is finding this process unsettling for me this is quite a big things I'm doing it quite a private person I don't generally talk about myself like him to my friends are I think what stage with me is generally better with me because it means that he just musics with me in the king and go no further so I'm I am a private person so this is this is a huge deal for me [Music] the cold-turkey budget is holding fast despite succumbing to a coffee and sandwich at work Milan is still well on track come into the office I've got my tender doctor very shocked so far he has spent 20 pounds 38 of his 33 pound limit instead of going out and getting the beers in Marlin has decided to stay in turn on and tee off everyone work dinner goes down to one of the bars down the road and spends a bit of time but with my mom my budgets going out is not a good thing it's the final day of cold turkey and Marlin can find his outgoings to a single pint of cold milk do you call Turkey not having too much cash is getting to me if you think about exactly what I'm going to do and sort of putting some plans in place I'm flicking stuff through my head for what I should try and do what I can do what I can't do so yeah there's a accepting someone positive effect by battening down the hatches to just the occasional coffee and snack he's only used up 28 pounds 30 of his 33 pound budget [Music] but clearing a 20,000 pound debt will take some serious commitment and lifestyle expert Jay hunt is in no mood for half-measures she has some home truths for 36 year old Marlin so Marlin I've got your new budget here that we're going to go through but before we do I just wanted to ask you how you got on on your cold turkey week I spent 28 pounds 30 actually right so I've still got 4 pounds 70 left which is excellent impression yes I know but I think it's because I was gonna spend that much anyway but my problem isn't not spending during the weeks that are splurging that I I'd go off and do every now and again well when we come down to looking at money that you're going to be spending every month to be honest your budget isn't that bad I've seen a lot worse than this so I'm hoping that you're going to be quite pleased now shoes and clothes is going to be more of a difficult area for you because at the moment you spend on average 401 pounds every month and we're recommending that that comes down to a hundred whilst you start paying off some of the debts how do you feel about that yeah yes ish gadgets that has been cut back to 50 only because we think you're not going to feel deprived there because you have got quite a lot of stuff in the floor I've got some things in my head since I've got these things that I'd like to buy it right but you can't buy them now ok no ok but the thing to remember also about this is that this isn't a budget that you've got to stick to for the rest of your life this is a realistic budget that you can stick to you can still have a life but you can start to pay things back I mean a really easy area to think about is the gym for example now you pay 39 pounds every month and you never go right so we're going to say cancel that and you ties the rollerblades the bike and the ball that are all sitting in your study so if we look down your existing budget what's been happening is every month you've got a 512 pounds a month overspend yeah if you look down the figures of our recommended budget and you stick to that you actually end up with a hundred and twenty-five pounds extra in your hand a you surprised that you end up with that even when you're sticking to all of these yeah I was hoping it'd be more some great stuff she must take me more Jay has a smile on to cancel his long abandoned gym membership but Marlon is easily distracted and doesn't get round to it even though he'd save 468 pounds every year stubborn at times and I can't think you know what they'd tell me that don't know I know me and that's put apart like that's prob that's an issue because I because sometimes just don't just stare like being told what to do even if it's right [Music] while Marlon is always well turned out his flat looks like it's been turned over his sports gear books and papers all get shoved out of sight and out of mind [Music] mark wants Milan to understand that organizing his messy flat could help him gain control of his chaotic life he has brought my LAN to a show home to demonstrate the benefits of a clutter free existence surrender impressions I had my dream home we're gonna have a look upstairs there's plenty more to see [Music] you think of this thing it's absolutely stunning at 288 thousand pounds this show home is within Marlins price range provided he gets his act together what does it say tomorrow oh say I mean so many things it's space it's not it's just just space and there's there's room for all my stuff I it's really nice I've lost worth two cents but not really yeah very much so mark wants Marlin to realize that organizing his home is an important first step to organizing his life will the show home inspire Marlin mark wants him to start with his own flat but so far Marlin has been reluctant to listen to any of mark suggestions I think for me my love the the thing about clearing out the study will give you space and organization I think will take away some of the stress of living as well because everything will be to hand and I think what you'll find is that actually being able to deal with your finances in a much more clear and structured way will come out of actually redesigning that room okay happy to give you a go I'm more than happy if it works on I'd go anything is try let's go thank you for mark it's important that Marlin sees the psychological link between the clutter of his room and the clutter in his mind so we've got a lot of stuff in here I guess kind of I think some of these gonna have to go yes possibly but again Marlin won't play ball well may have to show this door for so they're definitely not gonna go anywhere my bikes not going my blades aren't going golf clubs aren't going books aren't going computer stuff I used it's definitely going only through if I normally use it I keep it so mark sets a target we say get this clear in a week okay yeah I think then you'll start to see big differences in terms of how you feel about coming home using this room and be able to focus on your spending and think about it differently how does that sound to you be hard but it's something which is achievable yeah yeah yeah I think it won't be hard I think I think you'll see the benefits I really believe that so kind of really think about for a week from today what this room's gonna look like yeah I really hope the Marlin completes this task his cluttered flat is a big psychological barrier that he has to overcome but he's still resistant to me and the work that I want to do with him Marlon's misgivings are mounting up and then I'm in two minds with hung out with her where I should be doing or not to be perfectly honest o clock I think it's just big just justify that because I'm fairly private and I don't really talk about me with others then this probably gets a little bit too close for comfort to be perfectly honest I mean even though this was a small bit that I'm exposing it still is to the next baby that's an excellent exposure ten days into the process and Marlins cooking dinner for friends they're well aware that Marlin considers image to be everything one day you wear this another day you will wear this never he's never the same every day will be probably you know different ear different perfume different bowel different watch different shoes Jay's got her work cut out to get Marlin to change his ways [Music] I'm not really feeling very happy with Marlin at the moment because I feel all his initial enthusiasm has sort of evaporated and I feel he's just getting completely and utterly distracted which is of course what he always does I really want to get him back on track today by taking him out and showing him that spending on a budget can be fun so I really really hope he's going to enjoy what we've got in store today a new range of perfume shops have sprung up offering a unique tailor-made product J wants Marlin to meet master perfumer Hiram green Aman is a big big big aftershave fan he's got about 40 bottles at home but he is having to now work to living off a budget so I thought rather than just saying to you all God you know you're not going to be able to spend on the quantity yeah I thought it might help if we came and looked at actually really paring down the sort of smells you like maybe think about having something mixed up for you that's your actual aftershave yeah well start smelling some elements [Music] the shop combines handcrafted sense to create an individual fragrance for each customer hospital that's nice it's like a woody but woody sent to me instead of buying 40 different brands of aftershave Marlon can have his very own signature scent that's my favorite so far actually we're definitely talking to someone who knows her frankly so does this appeal to you it's a different definitely appeals I definitely like yeah I could do this I could do it often do it once it's quite nice seeing you smile on the smiling that realizing that life on a budget can actually involve nice treats nice good I know I'm impressed with this two weeks ago IT consultant Marlon Cunningham was in free fall blowing 463 pounds a week on aftershave clothes and gadgets meant he owed a whopping twenty thousand pounds with no money put aside for his future he had nothing to look forward to except debt psychologist Mark Hopkins has identified Marlins cluttered home as a barrier to clear-thinking lifestyle expert Jay Hunt has given him a cheaper yet personalized alternative to mass-produced fragrances Marlin has taken on board some advice but is still being easily distracted mark and Jay are concerned that they are not making a big enough impact so how are you finding dealing with Merlin I think the word to sum up is resistance I think that there are barriers there to Marlin letting myself a new ear and I think he needs to take what we say to him and process that in his own time then make decisions about what he sees as appropriate to him yeah no I agree with you I mean I feel that a lot of practical stuff I've been telling him he seems to take some of it on board but he seems to have his very own filter system of what he thinks is relevant for him and what isn't so at the moment I feel like he's picking up on about a quarter of the things and working with those and the rest he's decided not really relevant for Marlin and I'm just wondering whether we ought to be employing a slightly different approach with him I couldn't get through to him in terms of understanding all of his personal problems but what I can see is that he's got a lot of clutter going on in his mind I need to show him how to declutter that and I've got some practical exercises to help him I think the thing is is that both of us have to go in and definitely be a lot tougher I don't think he's necessarily going to like it but I think it's got to the point now where he needs to start taking on board a hundred percent of what we're saying [Music] with Marlon giving very little away mark wants to find out of his brother Leon we'll give him some further insight into his past the you two years older than Marlon I talked to me about kind of the clothes that you Marlon have a new going on you know really from what I remember when we were very young clothes weren't that important absolutely not as important as trainers and football boots marks beginning to build up a clearer picture but it's only when they are leaving that mark gets the long-awaited break through a revelation about Marlins childhood what happened was he sustained quite a bad break to his ankles so that kind of put an end to his potential football career but you know it was a very very good footballer the number of his friends are doing very well out of football to various friends as well and some of them are at least one of them is a well-known international well you know they're good good friends or used to be very good good friends and my brother you know growing up I know it was more alone in comparison to me oh my brother was absolutely well as he would always thought he was much better you know but having played football with my brother he was actually very good and I knew equal to a lot of these guys he was just unfortunate as we'd say many things you know the opportunities you know never know whether he would have fully made it but you know at 17 to you know break your ankle and then not ever then be able to play football kind of a bit and he was at the level of some people who are Ireland oh yeah absolutely yeah you know my brother used to pay for the city used to pay for the county so that was his what his main focus also yeah as a kid he lived and breathed football but like most young boys yeah he was lived and breathed football so yeah he played that played a lot for mark it's a missing piece of the jigsaw it seems like Marlon actually had a really realistic chance of becoming a top-flight footballer and and had a single focus so quite a lot of his life growing up to be a really good footballer and and unfortunately was kind of ripped away from him through injury you he was about 17 now since that was taken away I think that he probably carried a lot of regret from missing out on that opportunity and the lifestyle and the wealth that comes with that and I wonder if he's carrying that around with him deep down inside to this day [Music] two days later Marlon gets a real shock when he checks his latest bank statement he has gone 20 pounds beyond his overdraft limit and 15 direct debits have been cancelled by the bank they've charged him 30 pounds for each one totaling four hundred and fifty pounds [Music] it's actually because it sort of arose what I'm trying to do and and so it just leads me it just leaves me deeper in mess when I thought I was getting through it and thought I was doing really well then that hits me so that so that just takes away what was supposed to not be spending I spent it my not spending it and then they didn't even pay them so that's that's the annoying thing they didn't pay them but they took the money happy the bank accounts right so there must be some lure against it somewhere on the line but they'll say well this is in our it's part of our procedures and it's part of the contract you have with which is fair enough as it's just made sure I don't make it happen again ignoring his finances is costing Marlon dear and a week after marks visit he hasn't even begun to sort out his study things have sunk to a new low will he listen to mark and Jane now how people look through your life is hard and then having people highlight your failings or your weak areas for me is tough it's what I need mark knows Marlon's reached crisis point the bank charges of not Marlon for six and he really needs to start taking control of his life by sawing out his room I think he's afraid of opening up to me and he's resisting me but if Jay can help him declutter his room then I know that I can help win with the clutter in his mind mark sends Jay in to give my LAN a gentle push ah so Marlon today is the day for study clearing okay okay so what I think we should do is just decide right now we're gonna do it no putting it off no let's do it tomorrow we're gonna do this today she's ours Marlon to rummage through his mountain of stuff and find some things that he's prepared to sell now right okay so we're gonna take this in yeah now the thing is is that I don't want you to expect that you're going to get masses of money the reality is is that you probably would get more money if you photographed it downloaded it put it on one of the internet auction sites but the thing is you're never going to get around to doing it and the bliss of this is that they're going to give us cash now today okay I'm going to take this you take that and let's remember what we're after is cash in our hands today [Music] this secondhand trading shop is not J's preferred route for raising cash you remember how to use this phone but this is a crisis and it's a quick solution they've raised 98 pounds by selling unwanted gadgets Jay wants to use this money to buy furniture and storage so Marlon can finally organize his belongings versatile with a little top up from Marlon Jay's convinced they can get everything they need here we go so you value for money because you have to do the legwork yeah well I exercise I'm saving money already [Laughter] I think he's done a really good job actually that's teamwork yeah definitely teamwork but you've been up the ladder so you get bonus points for that thank you [Music] Marlon's new home study is super tidy and clutter-free it's been hard work I'm sweating hard it's a no it looks good and it's making things happy okay feels like a place I can actually not only do work but relaxing as well yeah well that's good you saw I'm really happy I'm really happy the way it looks it's it looks good but it's actually nice to have a comfortable area to gonna sit and focus in and that's what that room now has doesn't have many things in there and that is the way it will stay the next day Marlins up early determined to follow Jay and marks advice and keep his new life clutter-free instead of booting up he's booting out taking his old pcs to the local tip this is I just got a lot of stuff that needs to go to basically is it the clearing process the new process [Music] in his new study Milan tackles a backlog of work expenses having ignored them for months he's owed hundreds of pounds its much-needed cash that will bolster his bank balance and help him out of the red marlin is finally taking positive steps to change his life in here is a is now a place of right this this is my work zone this is where able to get myself organized and I think it's it helps because there's a little more structure to it all I think that was what was lacking in here it's all in a single place now which is which is nice and has made it and I made our life a lot easier mark fears Marlin is now ready to organize his chaotic thoughts I met with your brother Leon okay we were talking about your early football career it seems like you had a real focus at that time a single football football of my life remember girlfriends same to me at the young age having girlfriend saying you football to us yeah football is what I wanted to do I thought well I lived and breathed football I kicked a ball everywhere like I did a lot and I didn't have I think I was good enough to become a to do it full-time to be perfectly honest well it was that it was that single intense focus that you need at that time but it doesn't feel like you've got that focus now I loved it I still have it today you know I don't do much of it but because I just too much pain at the end of it well I've gotten exercise I think you're gonna love and it's gonna give you some focus and set some priorities for you okay excellent I look forward to seeing it yeah thank you mark has developed a simple life planning technique that Marlon can use to sort out his priorities okay Marla my hope you're gonna enjoy this what I want to do is basically focus on different aspects of your life there's lots of things going on me in your head and what I want to help you do is to really get all of that out of your head yeah and down onto paper and then help you to structure yourself structure your thoughts structure really give you some time to think about what you want to do and also then what the priorities are for you each color of card represents a category money career hobbies lifestyle and goals so don't necessarily work through them in any particular order but just whatever comes to you in terms of thinking about what's important for me okay let's let's talk the most obvious most obvious thing I with many ideas come they can fast [Music] this is a technique that mark uses as an occupational psychologist working with top managers [Music] well the bedrooms us redecorating the bedroom each idea gets a separate card the result is that all of Marlins thoughts and ideas are Mactan out in front of him right so we've got I think it's fair to say we're all quite a lot of things so in essence kind of what we've done is map out the thoughts either thoughts going on in your head or the things that you want to achieve or things that you feel you need to do so I think from from from my point of view the next stage is to put some more structure onto that mark and Marlin put these 43 separate ideas into they're color-coded groups okay why don't we what are you I should say I think take out the priorities from each of those areas so which ones are the ones that you really want to focus on okay Marlin is finally opening up allowing mark to learn more about the man inside just from mommy what was the family piece about again - I think leaves sometimes focus more on my current family and also have my own family and put myself in a position where I'm in that position too - Sabina over to have to have a wife and to move on and development I love children so that's some pop my own and I think I've really got to start start thinking about how to actually get there right so we've got some key areas to work on yeah well I think we need to do now is to take them out of the all of this here that's going on and put these on the board so you've got some key things to focus on so if you take the ones you think of relevant okay that we for the first time in years Marlin is able to get some real perspective on his priorities so where we've got to now is that we've taken all that stuff that was in your head we put it down we got it into some kind of priority and structure and I think what we've really got now here is really what the key priorities at the moment are for you mark once Marlin to concentrate on one key priority to budget daily the budget Dale is a lot of friends to me an excellent spreadsheet I need to start using it I think around being lazy about that then so the the spreadsheet arms it might be really busy spreadsheet and it might be able to do lots of things for you I actually think what you need is probably something very very simple something like a whiteboard you can just have in front of you when you can just scribble down how much you've spent that day and you know from the day before how much is in the bank account yeah it's something like that you don't need to go into a computer yeah I think that's what we do marlin takes home a whiteboard but this time will he listen to Marc's advice and act on it I think the session was was excellent I think it's a session that I'll be able to put into practice over that over my lifetime much to prepare for the honest and the Whitewater I'm going to start easy now four weeks ago Marlon Cunningham was keeping up appearances by splashing out on Flash aftershave and fancy gizmos but behind the facade he was heavily in denial about his debts of 20,000 pounds lifestyle coach Jay Hunt has had to get tough and four smile on to swallow his pride psychologist mark Hopkins has shown Marlon that if he doesn't organize his thoughts he'll never organize his finances his Marlin finally ready to embrace a new way of life [Music] it's the weekend the Marlin of old will be out hitting the shops instead he's hitting the pavement and his life is much more balanced Marlin spending is now firmly under control I know exactly where I am and and how it's going so what it's allowed me to do is I've got a better idea of how I'm going to be paying out towards the end of the month and it's just allowing me to think think clear on whether I can do certain things or not whether I can put 20 pounds of petrol or 40 pounds worth of petrol whether I walk so it's simple things like that but because I've got a clear idea now what I'm spending and what's in my account I can make some rational decisions which beforehand I just made the decision in doing so this is this is this is help no end I've got to thank Martha Friday night out buying round after round has become Friday night in entertaining at home and instead of playing computer golf Marlon has dug out his clubs and is back in the swing of the real thing he's no longer distracted he's had those bank charges reduced improved his house and he's getting to grips with the experts advice remember the gym which I haven't been using that often so apply it to cancel my membership Marlon has come to the end of his time with mark and Jay they've come for a last catch up with my saving in my budgeting so how's it going it's got a lot better actually I've implemented all my things myself I say to myself yeah it took a bit of time to get used to but I'm not budgeting I'm now writing stuff down I've not gotten receipts in a certain place I know everything is I just don't ask you how tidy your office is today it's that good what do you think's been the hardest thing for you throughout this journey it was painful quite a prior person so it's being told what to do doesn't always sit right with me I know it's good for me doesn't always sit right right with me sit and that's one of the reasons I have to step back sometimes and think it all through but overall if I look at the process like - all of it but I don't think any journey like this is going to be easy well I think it would be fair to say that nylon you thrown us different challenges enjoying working with you and I just [Laughter] pleased to know private land on its back we're going to go away and leave you alone it's like me taking off my glasses and and everything being really blurred now I can actually see fit clearly where I want to be which is which should be different a huge difference for me you only really make changes when you're ready to make changes and I was ready to make changes

Channel: Only Human

Views: 111,891

Keywords: only human, only human channel, only human documentary, shopaholics, shopaholics anonymous, shopaholics bbc, shopaholics documentary, shopaholics full episode, shopaholics uk, shopping addiction debt, shopping addiction documentary, shopping addiction full episodes, shopping addiction help, shopping addiction recovery, shopping addiction true life, spendaholics, spendaholics documentary, spendaholics full episodes, spendaholics tv show, spendaholics uk, spendaholics youtube

Id: c50ju9ZrO1U

Length: 56min 0sec (3360 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 04 2020