Sam Tripoli & The Ghost of Lee | TigerBelly 119

[Music] [Music] hey guys guess what what I had a dream the other night oh and what the dream was is that I died and I went to heaven and I saw a transgender angel okay you know it had breasts yeah a penis and a vagina everything but it had a halo it was beautiful and she was where she he was wearing a cape right made by Jesus that's what he said Jesus made this okay I would believe I would've believed it and he put it on he gave me a hug and put the caper on my body and I woke up and I was entangled in Brooklyn and yeah how did you know oh whoa yeah yeah yeah yeah how weird how soft it's whenever I wear they weren't because of our sheets from Brooklyn and it's like you know a transgender angels hugging me that's whatever yeah yeah great that Jesus made yeah you know and Clooney likes it Raya Raya care no no just Mariah the lady lives down the street oh not right there and Tony Hawk 120 huh Oh Tony Hawk I love Tony Hawk is oh yeah that was no I was verse skating with Tony hey vert skating I was doing 360s [ __ ] man I twenties in high school yeah upside down okay but doing it a crucifix yeah I know that they're there if you look at our last Instagram post on tiger belly you'll see that Bobby is still asleep at 3:00 p.m. and that's because Brooke linen it's so comfortable so comfortable never wants to get out of bed but get specific Gilbert tell them about it I'll tell you we love our Brooklyn and sheets tried these sheets and I know you love them too Brooklyn and calm has an exclusive offer offer for tiger belly listeners get $20 off and free shipping when you use the promo code belly at Brooklyn and calm in fact Brooklyn is so confident that you'll love your new sheets that they offer a risk-free 69 satisfaction guarantee and a lifetime warranty on all their sheets and comforters there's no reason not to give these sheets a try for yourself as a gift this holiday season give the gift of luxury sheets the only way to get $20 off and free shipping is to use the promo code belly at Brooklyn and calm that's be Roo que le and E and calm promo code belly Brooklyn and these are the best she's in there five four one two three four five welcome to another episode welcome to life welcome enjoy listen you know live in the moment but also live in the future I live in the past it's all around us some deep [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up man I'm not even [ __ ] ain't brought your name up yet man because I'm telling you right now son god you're my last [ __ ] nerve oh man alright you're the one guest that I got a guy where I get angry I've never been so angry I guess before I want to go oh my god I want to get him a beverage I wanted all these things right but I just want to gouge his eyes out as he came into my [ __ ] plan mr. Fujie start nasty mouth I'm not a nasty this is warrior I don't you don't talk and you don't talk until I introduce you okay no one who knows what the [ __ ] you are right yeah everybody knows me I know but just all right okay through the five four three again five we can't even five four three two one we got all kinds of things happening now we're gonna kalila begun Gilbert me got me two we got George I forgot his name for a second and you got your cousin Bryce back from where the [ __ ] were you into the wild your do I talk to I don't know we have a guest okay and let me know when I give a talk calm down people don't know who I'm not gonna know who we are he is more street cred than like anything else I'm just saying that he's done a lot of work near me for the people not really for the people for the people yeah I do and I've known him for a very long time 20 years you've known me like three addictions ago Sam Tripoli Tripoli Tripoli everybody robbery now listen to me all right your I just found your Armenians I'm Armenian yeah I love it ya know what kind of just say something no yeah I'm gonna anyway um I was in Israel mmm with Steve Byrne Oh and Lopez and we were like walking down the street now you got where is this where you got your career from you're just kissing bunch okay right and they were like this is the street where the Armenian Genocide happened right and I felt I cried me and Steve Byrne cried but when I meet when I when I run into you I don't cry that means like I don't like that what do you they didn't yeah I mean I feel right bad about the atrocities that happen yes thank you for recognizing minions like you yeah right I wasn't me like me like me a shower good guy clean one a man looking good you're a good guy is what a very rude man but it was a Turkish it took you guys yeah I don't know what there wasn't a street yeah do you and shemitah' don't get along you can't go in the lift to bring me to where the gents I doubt you know she him a Tosh yeah she's a Turkish she yeah I'm gonna get along yeah I'm sure I'm sure Jews talked to some Germans once in a while many people that whoop their ass the many people people a good one I can feel it because another thing too is like you oh you're always sour at me man never dog no I I have like a Jason chibok go oh yeah he's really mad you don't even talk don't say hi to me dog you go sweets a couple weeks ago about how you ghosted yeah you just go I'm not a distant I'm old okay I don't know street slang yeah alright so let's be looks like an emoji you should go [ __ ] feedback all right so let me say this all right what is close to mean that means were you just like oh yeah I'm gonna do this all let's hang out they just never reply yeah oh I know why why Oh be good it is gonna be great I can't wait like crowds on me I go to write you deceive me oh right I only ghost when people to see all right when I see deception or shadowplay going on right I don't play you Armenian folk I love you yeah okay but let me just say something yeah this shitty ones like yourself yeah and you do shadowplay yeah it's like you you you you lie with him there's no army shadowplay no drag we never do that shoes verbal black magic yeah right and I see through it okay that's why I don't show up to your function that's not true rapid what's the story this is what I hear first of all I did this pocket I did your guys podcast right ud no no no I'm gonna though it's the intention that there it is there it is actually show you up that guy right but I did another one what was the other one I did punch drug love yeah punch drunk right who with me and JE you the other one that the lady yeah today the fight nanny what's her name Candice Candice yeah yes so I did that yes so I thought I already did it I think you're like just no no no dude this would be you ghost me before that no just let's go let's go to the this little latest ghost we're gonna go through the history of the ghosts are we talking ghosting number three or number two cuz there's number one I'm gonna tell what we're talking number you would eat your ghosting yeah okay see this one were to say to you okay then you say to go to do the other podcast right and I go wake up I thought it was gonna be at the Comedy Store you have show up you went to the wrong place I didn't I didn't leave the house I would have Skyped in if I knew you had all this we could Skype you in yeah but let me just say this okay that's my bad my bad so that's my bad okay but let me tell you this right now my friend you want you want to go to the original ghosting yeah the first ghost yeah years ago I bring you to one of my favorite events of all time what is a Korean festival in Koreatown yes my best jokes have ever buy my life that there we go okay so I take you to this magnificent event right a cultural thing yeah I go with my family yes you know it's like um you took me to somewhere you're a big deal you're a big person amongst little people oh yeah George you're laughing way too [ __ ] high all right let's show some loyalty okay oh he's a very funny man oh is this an away game for me but seriously okay what's up listen to me okay you fellas right alright so we we would I take you to this festival Korean festival yes and then a year later no you now a year later like the next day next day but like I didn't see it for a year later right you started doing jokes about me I hurt my feelings it's a great it's a classic do the job I was about how up my friend Bobby Lee took me to a he's Korean and he took me to a Korean festival in Koreatown yeah which is a lot of fun until you lose your friend have you ever tried to fight a Korean other Koreans like trying to find a needle in a needle stack other ones yeah there's a great tab yeah yeah that's what great comes to that yeah let me say something right now okay right but the truth of the matter yes and let's be real about let's put it on the table right why should it sent out a search crew no no I'm just saying that like that means you turn it around you would have been amazing oh you mean at the Korean fest is oh we did find you you did find me yeah yeah that's not staged who lost who did you just disappeared I turn around he was like gone eating like kimchi or some [ __ ] somewhere and yeah because we drove there together yeah we all went there eating together there was a chick there and I think Aron Kader was there as well that's another shady guy why is he god I love them I love them I was a good dude I missed that old you know that dull old times I do miss that yeah I do think that you and I are in the same class of comedians like in terms of like when we started together like in terms of what when they see you know how you look at some guy in terms of in terms of classes know in terms of like we started at you know how people I graduate yeah so what's classic yeah yeah yeah so we think you're one rate before me you think I am I think you like I think Sebastian's in your class yeah then I'm in the MA I think Moz may even be in your class even though I feel like those two guys get clumped in with mine and Bret Ernst his class know what I feel like you're in my class I'll tell you why because my first year doing stand-up I met Jo koy yeah in La Jolla yes and I think he talked about you then yeah so I feel like we're in the same plan we made but I don't think I was in at The Comedy Store damn it doesn't matter I think I you I was a we were in my era my field of awareness yes in the late night we're around the same I didn't get to LA Tilden mm yeah yeah yeah 99 mm yeah and then yeah and we I think we immediately became friends yeah we're friends yeah and then we've always had this weird thing where you like ghost me why and then you talk bad about my people on the corner of Main Street and [ __ ] you know I love your people will eat where do we eat over there I mean yeah oh not your medium food with that error Glendale Rafi we go there all the time city it's great it's clean you got to clean there's no crime good at chess good at chess because you go to the right the part where your parent your sister although the older minions were these like crazy eyebrows very good as a Korean is it hard like stare at their eyebrows and not want to wax them is that hard do some waxing their nails that you guys are hairy yes I don't really see that yeah because we are you white yeah dude yeah no actually the Royal Tenenbaums over here I can't sorry about that what are you selling ice cream okay where's the scarf what's that all about today that's new Western Star yeah do you believe that women have [ __ ] him yeah women [ __ ] a lot of garbage not garbage but that thing on the fence I've been talking a lot about that I [ __ ] ugly all the time since high school yeah well I ever discriminated there's something about feeling completely okay when we like we like to give charity Lucy how are you like oh you want right off on your taxes yeah feel most uninhibited when they're ugly yeah I feel like I can be my most disgusting self when they when I know that this is the best they are you're really alive with him my little Eskimo emoji oh those are assassin eyes right there listen today now get it up like like when did you realize you were hot um I got girl you guys but is there a moment you're like oh wow I'm uh I'm a hot person I'm a attracted you probably didn't think I was cute until I was 19 but I was already very sexual previous but I never got with like hot guys when I was younger that's just what dudes would like low self-esteem I was a I would just have sex with all the younger with the ugly virgins really and I really enjoyed it did you take a lot are you you take a lot of virgins mm-hmm that was my thing that was you like you were the virgin stalker and they were all just like nerdy kind of like very insecure boys you're like every pornos right is that like superhot chicks [ __ ] but I wasn't able then I was just a little hotter than them I just didn't know how to you know I wasn't very girly then when I hear girls say that I don't believe but I don't see why you would lie I came from the Philippines so my accent was really sick I didn't know that I had to shave my legs I had a bowl cut you know things are happening for me yet really yes I don't know why I can't believe this I'm not not you never lie I do you have no really started getting cute when I realize okay grow your hair out kalila shave your legs what you know just yeah wax the mustache don't look so you know you know when I first when I met on tinder right so I go out to Long Beach I thought she was pretty but when I when I first saw her naked what I looked up up to God yeah Jesus it's a combination of the elephant has a beer yeah that's true as a carpenter yeah but maybe like you know Japanese cloth so my point is is this so I looked up in the sky and I went you know when you go have you ever been with a chick so hot yeah will you look up and you go thank you yes yeah it's a gift yes that's how I thought when I first you know that's so nice that's really nice four years later or now look I got him out I paid for that no for that I was there he was there to help me was I there what is the point of having to save you money Bobby if he can't buy your girlfriend a nice first started dating did you feel the pressure to get bigger he begged me not to get them oh why is he he's into the cream boys yeah no well you know what happened she got the man and all her health issues happened oh yeah it's been a nightmare you know it's all just generally this is a comedy podcast yeah it is but we could take a long okay real okay yeah it's not all like you know me switches and all these [ __ ] reverse of each other those theory yeah I like that you know what a switches no I don't know you don't switch yo yeah do you have any switches in your act none I'm sure you do I don't have any in your stand up you have no switches I just yell oh yeah no no no no you got switches the worst are like you know when they say it was my grandmother oh you're me okay surprise you don't see it coming yeah yeah that's what they say is the whole thing that people they've studied it what people laugh at and surprise is it surprise if I get like yeah you got a couple great switches in yours I have a couple of about the the hobbits that that's a great switch that's a sweater you don't see yeah switch yeah right yeah good joke are you making fun of me thank you yeah I love seeing you get political well so couple weeks ago I got really sick this is getting serious there's no punch line here all right yeah so then I had this cough and then um and I felt better but then all of a sudden one day I couldn't hear her well I'll tell you what the [ __ ] you did you don't wrong okay I can't wait things up in my right ear I couldn't completely deaf oh okay what are you doing this yeah I was doing that and I couldn't hear all right and then I my neck right here and my shoulders are just like they're petrified all right yeah I mean they're just I can't I gotta ask you about I am completely stiff right and I cough and I have fluid in all over my head I feel like I'm gonna die too you know so that's what I've been dealing with so you've been making me laugh and now it hurts my neck and my shoulder so just relax on that okay the doctor gave him a z-pack you know it's like oh yeah and instead this [ __ ] instead of taking two first day and then one every he takes all of them in a span two days he takes half of them because you're an attic dog that's what it is that's what we do yeah you know what it is it and this is I don't know it does you don't get high from antibiotics no but if you stain or if you take three or four of them right at a time you get so tired right and weak it kind of feels like a high in a weird way what was your thing where you go fast guy or go slow guy i'ma go fast with slow things you ever go slow cuz you're on opiates yeah I know but I would move so fast I would do so many of them though yeah and I was good go out go and reverse fast right but I was still party right but I like feeling I don't like feeling up I felt that I like being down and euphoric that's that's interest I like to go fast like cocaine yeah I feel like that's kind of a strange combo cause you feel like you're already a very animated person yeah that I'm what are you like on cocaine business deals let's make [ __ ] how you sober now or not yeah how long yeah dude first of all I got over a hundred eighty days but let me say this to you you shouldn't ask that people to people on a podcast like this that's a violation of anonymous right but okay can I just say this you're right right okay you're right but I feel like you want to you and I aren't strangers we talk about that kind of stuff all the time all the right right and I feel like we've talked about it on podcast before I don't think in that yeah I think we have well okay here's so my point is as this is that I've been like talking to people and they've been lecturing me why shouldn't be talking about this [ __ ] yeah someone wrote in I don't I don't know I don't agree with I feed this is what it is okay this is that I'm allowed to talk about my own you know addictions yeah and my own sobriety right okay all now if George was sober right right and he was in a whatever and he didn't want me like I had more like I think he'd be in like sex addiction your eating people talking like Dahmer [ __ ] and take it to the next level I'm not only gonna eat it I'm gonna [ __ ] it I'm gonna [ __ ] like an opening of a song he put special sauce on a scarf [ __ ] outta here bro we're white [ __ ] [ __ ] man like the into the wild white dude right Eddie and then he goes into Alaska like he'll strip naked go into force for a couple days and live or they find him like years later just a skeleton yeah like just just skeleton around the tree inside the tree died you [ __ ] the tree once I know you did Georgia [ __ ] [ __ ] weird [ __ ] right what's the weirdest thing you [ __ ] I once put on two two pieces of salami between my couches cushions and I [ __ ] the salami when I was a kid slice or thick thin sliced I got a thick pickers piece of steak oh my i nuked it I made a vagina like how did you make a vagina the Asians they go like north south vagina so that's what that's what you're going with there either east-west excuse me east-west is that what it is are we it's East Way it's like a beaver yeah I never got that I just say this right I never got that because the thing is is that yeah ours go east-west but sort of your eyes right eyes go the same direction now if an agent woman's vagina slam well your nation are you oh you know so you got two Filipinos of cream do you guys get along I thought you guys didn't like each other Bobby has his thoughts on the Philippines and then what is the hierarchy of let me ask you the same question let me ask you the questions were a third will do what do you think the hierarchy is between hierarchy is it's gonna be Japan on top right Korean that well I know but let me just say keep that on the right [ __ ] path go ahead it's gotta go gotta go Korean yes then it's a battle between Korea it goes it goes Japanese battle between Korea and China very good and then the rest of them no let's go further okay be specific let's go further okay what your guess is not this is racism it's just your gas educating ourselves okay so what Sam Tripoli things right are the Japanese okay I'm just saying like history right history Wars and who won Wars exactly thank you so Japan number one yes they you know you're right because they went for it yes they do we want it all China they took down China dog they sent a couple [ __ ] yeah Island Records it's unbelievable the same guy you go to China I do comedy out there they don't like are you doing jokes about Japan they don't like Japan it's like literally like like going to the United States to stand up and like we got our asses kicked by Rhode Island dog is the China yeah it's huge and this is tiny little place let's go back to the list Japan number one Japan number when you're saying there's a competition for second and third yeah between China and Korea yes I'm just hearing it very good okay what would okay so would be for now we're getting it I know we're getting into the bottom ranked the Southeast Asian so tired audience Filipinos late anti-women so I'd like them to be pretty high up because they have like the fattest asses of all them nice girls no Japanese girls to have Koreans mmmm nope I like their karaoke love their you know karaoke like you go anywhere in the world there's a Filipino karaoke cover BAM there true we all export something they do when I wonder that brothel in in a Kyle and called Amsterdam yeah did a live female Asian band robbed middle [ __ ] killing it yeah they're just [ __ ] good yeah Oh Beatles songs like just Care Bear I walk in there yeah man yeah no and get my [ __ ] [ __ ] walk today wouldn't try to buy you cuz you look like a girl at some point I remember when I first met you with your hair people might ride it you know a lot of people think I'm gay I think you are I think you're bisexual I think oh I listened I think Ari Shaffir is too I think a lot of you think are yeah I mean I I stopped watching I've stopped watching porn because I didn't like a guy's dick I don't know what that means yeah yeah yeah that might mean something so you think that I'm bisexual yeah you think Ari Shaffir is I do jo koy what do you thinking I I don't know Joe enough to all to make a call on and we throw some other names in there that we wouldn't know steven is is he or not I haven't gotten that me burn and I haven't gotten that Nell so it's straight ass or B I think he's I like this game say SRB I know he's not gay because we banged a chick at the same time yeah and like he stayed way on his side and I stayed way on my saw I've been in that situation today you're like hey dude we're both yeah you begin some right now but I don't need the cross streams right now yeah yeah wow yeah so that was him - yeah believable Calland i think he he or hell is an interesting guy it's not that I think he's bi I just think he's so horny that because my ass please try some guys at try it he'll try anything yeah difference but Andy Dick is the opposite of that worry I'll just stick anything in his mouth not evil G what's that okay then think he's both yeah yeah but extreme B&G yeah yeah yeah but this game is fascinating to me yeah yeah who else let me see who are you more hmm so if he's bisexual do you think he's into women more than he is men hey Bobby Bobby I think he's into more he's into women more yes for sure I don't know it doesn't it doesn't bother me I don't care what the [ __ ] he wants yeah his life oh hell magical straight as far as [ __ ] - [ __ ] what does that say it's really what Bobby Lee Wikipedia bisexual that's on Wikipedia that's all Wikipedia wait you're listed in the Internet as a bisexual man what did you announce that when did you announce this I mean he talks about sucking dick on everybody here the face of the LGB you're so free now high school actually meant I was a dude yeah I've you know these girls I'm gonna say something right now sir like apps dude they keep working out the kinks you just saw but I see something on group level and I'm gonna be completely and utterly honest with everyone in this room all right I believe that I'm not bisexual I believe that I'm completely heterosexual but you're flexible not only that nobody here's what it is I like I want them like you know gay people and you know people that have you know a different sexual identity right I want to you know mean support them and I want to you know encourage them and I like it I like the whole time I say something about it right that maybe and also in high school I would let a hot [ __ ] suck my dick that I would do I'm just gonna tell you that I'm not gonna leave you alone okay I'm not gonna leave you on this island some of these chicks they're pretty [ __ ] hot and the dick doesn't care I don't care so I'm not I know it roll flexible I know a comic that's seeing you know me a [ __ ] I think he's already talked about it I know but I just want to say learning his name pretty big common New York City yeah yeah yeah yeah he showed me a photo over and I'm like I went yeah yeah yeah but what is that so then you're bisexual I'm hetero flexible flexible yeah I mean a hot [ __ ] suck my dick but I'm not gonna be like cruising for dudes Rio right just like tricks but hey I mean if that [ __ ] goes um I'm gonna suck your dick yeah and then she's like you want to [ __ ] me in the butthole that probably not be real you're in your half-hard you're about to [ __ ] right and she bends over it's a nice buttholes the most beautiful buttholes yeah yeah it's I mean come here take care of it yeah I mean a holes a hole dude that's so there we go I love it we went so many quotes today holes a hole so I [ __ ] me yeah when about some steak and I [ __ ] that like and it's not horizontal I did normal style okay normal do they have a name or did you just [ __ ] like I tried to see what I couldn't call I remember I had to be hitting the the dish how deep is this cut of meat I got a thick cut why did you nuke it yeah why did you cook the meat because if Freddy Lockhart forget about car I don't care he went him and I went pocket [ __ ] I'm shopping years ago is that is that why you have all these pocket oh he's here already today for the little Bobby Lee new when you pay for the pocket [ __ ] we just got him as gifts also sent it to us but my point is is this is that siffredi goes arm we want about oils at the at that store yeah because your oils are very Gordon heat them up but don't do it too hot Oh it'll scald your dick yeah of course I you know I would you five seven seconds you know it would be perfect so I did with the meet - that is way too much work to jerk off if it meat gets cooked and it becomes dry not to use butter that's so weird now the best jerk-off lotion in the world humming gun oil I can't recommend enough wine oil wait you buy it for guns no well for an actual gun yeah yeah it's called gun oil it's jerk all that sounds like something it back in them when they had muskets yeah yeah because it's silicon duty so Peter called gun oil yeah get it at the hustler store where dude grab it just cuz it doesn't stick if you get the silicon doesn't stick you could pour it on yourself it would be gone within seconds you wouldn't even feel it Wow good oil dude I've been jerking off for a long-ass time homeboy you still do not as much as I used to I've been [ __ ] sexually active since first grade we shouldn't like with actual semen coming out ah I don't I don't remember that but I just remembered getting funky early and I don't I say that a lot of people freak out and I understand that's so normal six years old you're getting [ __ ] and eating but I bet you're but I but at six years old like hims where eyes met the B dog that's early in Vegas no in upstate New York that's what you grew up how did that even happen remember seeing porn at that point I know I've seen some Playboy's but yeah some people are just natural yeah you're a natural I hear you but he doesn't eat but at all upset you um in the beginning it did only because my ass is just [ __ ] cleaner yeah why it's have you tried it like did you eat a bad but at one point like one of the first girls I went down her muffler was beat up dog and it just made it hard to go on from there but you got to fight through it go be like you know you got to go like we know the road [ __ ] a chance again I went on the road with Pauly I don't want to break this girl's heart so I'm not gonna say her name okay but I opened from years and years ago okay so she could be dead by now so she's probably okay I'm not gonna say her name oh but I did a club in Cleveland with Pauly Shore yeah and I was featuring for him but I was you know I could barely do 15 minutes and I met this girl I'm moving to LA and I go all right whatever and then like six months later she's at the Sun comedy store and we started hanging out yeah and I was doing La Jolla you know back so back in the day when you did La Jolla you would stay at the condo on the beach well I still do I love that place it's great memories and back but they breed I haven't done it I haven't been there since they refurnish you do you go back and I've been there like 15 years what because of all another thing it's another [ __ ] war I have with somebody else dude do you even had some Wars I know let me just finish from your like Germany you've been in a lot of wars yeah I have I fight for like don't you do like one makeup podcast a week like with somebody where I mean it I mean I got right now we're trying to get Yoshi - yeah you know baby aids me Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi did one what Yoshi no no you wanna Norma are good that wars over and then you had a do you have you done anymore I have a couple of wars I have Joe Coyte you did kind of good well the Korean well the Asian comics ever come back together we don't there's no war between me and except for Yoshi but I'm good with everyone dr. Kim wasn't there some man and I are good he's great I'm good with more everyone everyone are you good with half a burn Kevin Shea no Kevin Shay's a good guy though okay why what happened with that that's for another podcast okay all right podcast hey um can I finish my story well bro yeah so you're even bad but no that's not what happened okay so she goes so she goes um I'll let me go to La Jolla with you so great so I was there with Kelly Kirsten chef Richards that weekend and she bought a guitar right and during the day she would just be in the living room in that living room and she was like sing her songs that she wrote but nobody wanted to hear them it was embarrassing me things we do for post yeah the Sun is here the tree is in my bones or whatever was the tree you write about your song I don't know and I would just be like oh that's good you did it now I got another one no you know I would so that night that was the first time I made love to you know love to the person you hated yeah I was doing doggy style okay uh-huh and um I smelled poop and so I need to do investigations you know I mean because I'm a curious guy detective yeah so you smell poop so you buy light scent no I didn't go I didn't go head in okay I sound like every white guy over there and run over there I don't there's a waft when I do investigations on [ __ ] I don't go ahead first okay you know me I do it from afar yeah you know you smelt a SUP finish okay so I'm still doing up from behind and I take the two thumbs are you opened it yeah and I did a little Pikachu peak peak take the ticket little Pikachu right I opened it up like this and she had one nut from the [ __ ] but a hare dingleberry no it was a hair sticking out of her like normal but outside the hole okay you know your seastar warmer the style of the Jedi yeah remember that little thing that was like swallowing people up in the desert yeah and they had those tentacles all right that would like grab ya Lando Calrissian dragon yeah that's what she had Oh imagine that thing as she had oh tentacle sticking out right what was what I think there at the end of the [ __ ] tentacle what was a perfectly circle little tiny round piece of [ __ ] right there's a diamond yeah why don't you just close the hole I don't know for the 2000 and I the open to see what that you know well you know it's a prize but this is what she said and I'm not kidding here she goes I just had a vision so I'm lifting it so I'm opening up the package right and she goes I television then we had kids like she said why you're [ __ ] [ __ ] little a hair with a little brown dingleberry and I'm and she goes especially with kids right and in my head I laugh because I go I had a vision are going to get toilet paper and I never that was it we drove back to LA and I think I broke her heart or go why do I have to get punished for her dingleberry yeah that's why I like vagina so I mean like dude does [ __ ] come out of the vagina dude I mean have there's some bad vaginas out there there is huh yeah guys penises right yeah I've seen daliyah's yeah I area has a horse [ __ ] its horsey oh my gosh but it's like why wouldn't what else about him is it nice the guy's a good-looking guy who loses a lot yeah oh you say have you seen penis no dude no I get to ride at [ __ ] magic mom the old boy right its twists right it goes this way and this way at the same time it's like a [ __ ] disaster hey dude ah yeah I get that man I mean he he's been in some [ __ ] snatch he's been in some snatched he's been done this podcast before why are you getting quiet I just in reminiscing about what looking at your friends pics no I know it's like what's the music playing in the background as all these flashes of dicks go through I want to be real with you and I just had a moment and the moment is is that you know you know someone like you you're on your phone no I'm trying to be real all right yeah that you you know you you know you meet these people and then years go by and you have history people some people you what's so funny nothing I'm listening you're not good at intimacy no but you know there is it I'm great at it you see my yellow art but um you know you you have these relationships with people and you go you know what I just had a moment like you know I like this guy Sam triple I've always liked him I've always you know had fun I have fond memories with you we don't hang out a lot but still if you're one of those guys that like you know I just really like you know you know you see like route you know Rudy Moreno yes I haven't seen him in ten years but I know if I do run into him I want to be like ah you know I mean do you do any clubs besides the store in LA I do improv everyone's well but not really no you just don't enjoy it the store is um a special place 100% what didn't what are you asking me for but I don't know why you don't go practice your kung-fu because I'll tell you why I'll tell you why because the comedy store feels safe to for me yes and it feels like then I have a little bit of power for you do I know but when I play the Laugh Factory or The Improv I feel like everyone else it's you know when you're at The Improv I'll have like open my Kerswell good to me what's up dude yeah I'm trying you know I mean they'll just talk to you like we're all group level like we're the same but at this store and is gonna sound [ __ ] silly but you can feel there's a hierarchy yeah right right and I think that hierarchies are good for comedy songs you're high up on the higher get them know I feel like being in the bottom helped me a lot yes that is one problem with these kids is that they don't realize sometimes if there I was like some of these door guys and I love door guys cuz I was a door guy yes it was like exploitable months yeah I was a door guy yeah but someone don't realize that you know your your door guy and you're working your way up yeah and sometimes they talk into me and I'm like hey dog that's not how it [ __ ] goes yeah you know yeah and I I love the Comedy Store and I love I love the store when I work with Harris Pete back in the day as a doorman I hate I was like what in my 20s hey Harris you go [ __ ] you yeah like that's the thatís basically when you part of the store I guess that still was a little bit of like you know I mean that's like it's hard it's boot camp it's you know and now people are getting like you know a little too friendly with each other well it is it is uh it's just that's new Hollywood like nobody talks [ __ ] about anybody anymore or behind closed doors and it's just like I don't know man sometimes I have sets where I'm just I'm having fun but I'm screaming at the crowd and I just feel like the back of the room about all the young comics like why is he so angry that's and it's just like yeah there's a lot conformity going on yeah everybody conforming right now and there's like who are the counterculture people who are the [ __ ] talkers where are those people Oh this'll do I saw Jim Jefferies there a night that's called Thanksgiving I Drive to the comedy store and he did a guest spot and the room was packed and I was about to go up with Jim Jefferies as I sat down and I'm watching Jim he was so funny then I left and I looked at Kirk Fox who's gonna go up after him and I was after Kirk and Kirk was like oh my god I was gonna leave too that's how good he was that night I mean he was doing bits I've never seen him do he was his timing his the content of what he was doing was so relevant and good that there's nothing I just felt like I didn't have it that night I can follow anybody but that night I was tired you know how that's weird fear that I don't understand because you kill all the time I just [ __ ] just said to you Sam that like I really honestly it lasts of late in last three years I used to have that fear I'll follow anybody I followed I followed Bilborough I followed Seinfeld but I follow everybody all right it's just every once in a while you'll see a performance that's so good they just got you know what I'm not doing it I can't I know you don't that I have I am I'm just like I don't have a choice where I go up so I have to give blood from a stone every [ __ ] time so like I'm constantly having the foul I'm that guy that Adams like okay this guy's a murderer we need to get from this dude to the rest of the lineup I'm that that when you're editing there we see the thing that says tracks you know you put in between a show from the [ __ ] murderer to the next guy yeah yeah because you know I I have been trained in the dojo of the o.r for years yeah yes to get bumped by Andrew Dice Clay Joe Rogan or Eddie Griffin every night for two years oh I I do too I was the same [ __ ] boat bro yeah you [ __ ] kidding me dude they would do five hours of [ __ ] you man I was there too bro [ __ ] Eddie Griffin oh my god yeah people don't realize yeah hours yeah she would bring like a tenth person entourage do three hours and by the end of the night there ten people left in that room you know what he did to me one night and this is one I knew that he was a snake Eddie Griffin all right he was out there you know but you know with the kitchen like the kitchen is I mean where the bar is you outside the club right it's silver if anyone's been there's like a silver box and there used to be these two chair like this like a booth there remember that booth and he was sitting in there and got young he did even know my name is look young man come talk to me man you're funny so I sat down and he goes hey man doing this new movie oh yeah he's like dude I told the producers about you oh my god really yeah man they really like you man I could cool he's like yeah man so you know so the next day I called matt black this producer what movie is he doing is that all that I don't know you know so they got ahold of the producers never heard of me I never talk to him again after that yeah it was okay he's why would you yeah but my thing is as that why would you look at somebody who has nothing and just go you know what man I'm gonna twist this guy's brain it did you know it make him feel happy and then sad it's just it's just like how about not say that how about going yo man what's up and that's it guy who used to go up and do 3-4 hours on stage to [ __ ] with them and what what would happen was these guys and you know I love dice we're very cool now but back in the day used to bump all the time right and so they got they're like [ __ ] man people are getting so angered they're like I don't care if he's bumping I'm just don't want to drive down when I know I'm not getting up so they started like putting their names in the mill the lineup were they given like a four-hour Club yeah yeah cuz they the joy is the bump yeah that's the that's the hit of everybody wait for me yeah but the people look dead culture is gone now well that I love that that's one thing I like about the store that's what I love about it yeah yeah I mean store has to be packed too stale I mean they'll knock it down turn into a German I don't know what it has like I know but I don't feel like doesn't nobody really has that kind of power anymore I think that's good that's great I think like it's a showcase club no one should do over a half an hour yeah if you doing I just don't think like that's not that crowd one time Mike young we have a friend Mike young he had a showcase at the in the original room he invited everyone cuz he needed to get you know something going right and so I remember I forgot who was bringing him up but they were like business guys from you know Michigan he's a young kid Mike Young right and the crowd was all there to see Mike because it was all industry so your brother but then you hear this I'm going up it was Eddie Griffin yeah he walks up there and he does for hours and he walks the room Mike was never able to do it and and I remember being back there going this is the worst thing that you could possibly do to somebody I remembered ice was like don't what people like you didn't get it yeah yeah because there's this notion that like he like some people have a boxer's mentality that there could be only one champ you know what I'm saying yeah I just don't see that in comedy there's a lot of people here now there is it's great with a pup because a podcast and everything right there's a room for everybody right yeah I remember when Mitzi was used to do the showcases on sunday showcase three times Adam does know I thought it's like dude you don't even know you don't even know back then so Mitzi I saw two showcases when I was at door man one was George Lopez right George Lopez is onstage Mitzi's watching him and admitted in you could just hear her talk to five other people in the room like in the back like today wait just you're doing a great job you know I mean this and that right and George Lebert stops because hey [ __ ] oh okay okay see if you [ __ ] [ __ ] he was [ __ ] crazy god right and he just left the stage right this is the worst one though I saw that worse than that oh yeah this is the worst one there's a guy showcase I'll tell you what is in a second and he's up for a minute and this is what Mitzi goes next he doesn't have it she says that out loud and we turned her go no no this guy has it it was Lucy again and he was like you know how he just kind of you know oh yeah he has HBO specials that's how back then you know me that was toward the end when you know right you know right I loved it she passed me it's all crazy it was here AZ back then dude it was crazy I uh people would hijack your showcase that was the worst part like it took impossible to get a showcase when you did you have that hope that someone would sit next to her and run her that's what it is so let me tell you this is why I tell you I was doing I was doing a gig at a place called that the hustler cafe in Hollywood Boulevard used or sunset used to have comedy there ran by a guy named Johnny Montana I know Joe Montana yeah you could sworn he was blown out on coke like that guy is gonna have a heart attack blow yeah so I'm doing a show and it was Ray after [ __ ] what was Columbine I feel is like early 2000s or something like that right some I don't know but there was a school shooting I was talking about how hard it is to be a white guy yeah in AH you know just it's hard to be white guy nobody cares right I get off stage Paul Mooney runs up to me goes Oh homie you ain't white use Armenian use a [ __ ] I was like dad yeah and I was like it was the most coolest insult I've ever gotten in my life cuz it's like I just got called the n-word yeah by the guy who basically coined the end like he owns the n-word that's his world he left a message for me like that really homey homey homey homey right you've been hanging out with this way my people I've been watching you you're gonna go you're white devil to have a white devil - so I get my show you know yeah go ahead I'd showcase form it's about three or four times one time I got like a standing O and Lauren pelts the waitress fought me Alko and that was the most amazing showcase I've ever seen yeah like that she's like now he's awful so like princess Corey had to make me a new she they would make new categories for me yeah showcase regular would today I don't even know there's like you can always be in the showcases like every time have a showcase you get to go up yeah so I'm this times coming up and I'm showcasing and I'm do my act and Duncan Trussell called me and he told me the three rules for showcasing for Mitzi yeah which was do a joke about your ethnic group do joke about one of your parents and then do your favorite joke so I did joke about my mom power walking in LA going to the beach take your shirt off baby start crying you know because we're so furry yeah I did a bit about Asians on ecstasy which is because you guys are so smart you drop [ __ ] ecstasy your visuals are much better ours are like 8-bit yeah don't be digitally sounded a joke great job I might bring it back back ever rewrite old jokes cause they're bad same access at dinner so I go up to do my act and I see who sits down it's Paul Mooney and I'm like [ __ ] just do the act and get done dude yeah so I get off stage and I walk up this is true so I she goes it turns out Paul Mooney likes my he liked me a lot yeah and he sat down goes Oh Mitzi this kids good you got to pick him up he needs to be a regular here and I was like holy [ __ ] so I go up to her and I'm like Mitzi cuz you already had kissed you always had to kiss the ring so I go I go Mitzi thank you for the choking she's like you're really funny she goes are you Syrian and I hand to God I didn't know what the [ __ ] a Syrian was yeah yeah I'm from upstate New York public educated yeah we never gotten to the Syrian stuff yeah sounds like someone who loves Sears that's why I didn't know what the [ __ ] it was yeah yeah right yeah so she goes are you Syrian I'm like yeah I'm totally serious yeah yeah she's like okay good she's that good I want you to do a showcase and I'd forge a Dave and Jay Davis's show she said cuz people don't realize Jay Davis like how big that Dublin show was way back in the day like it was Andheri it was nothing like anyone's ever seen you'll never have anything like it because now you could play all that I mean let me just say this okay it says that on Tuesday nights Jay Davis and I met a man had this room called Dublin's it was an Irish bar in between the Laugh Factory in the comedy store across the street and on we're pink taco Rio so so that night it's like say Miami Beach Club that's never open to anything I yeah it's so so weird yeah but now you imagine absurd what I would have fit 250 maybe yeah 300 was like under people it's like little smaller than the main room number one every Tuesday sold out number two you it was like you would go look in the audience oh there's Britney Spears Cameron Diaz I mean everyone I either every you would go you would perform and then you would just get business cards I remember that's the first time that Dave Beck he actually recognized me is a real comedian like he walked it to me goes bro you're legit you know man I got all he goes too bad you with a B I love a B you know me but if you weren't you mean you know I mean I would you know it was like what it was like one of those events where every comic wanted to get on you announced yourself yeah like every week I remember going there and there was a new gunslinger yeah like I remember seeing Reap they're like why you talk he'll there yeah then a new dude next week what the ad over and over you see Pablo there Francisco destroy yeah he would stain it was the king there I mean you go onstage and for like a brief second you were on these levels of these supermodels that's why I was I could get offstage and girls so far out of my league we're like you were so funny yeah they talked to me because they saw me on stage sure everybody there thought it was the coke dealer girls come up to me like we're we're looking for coke I'm like [ __ ] me I should get Co yeah this is also like I remember one night Larry David went up this is before the original Curb Your Enthusiasm in between Seinfeld and curb he used to want to get on there too I mean it was like one of those magical places to I saw Bill Maher there yeah he's like this is the best room I've ever seen that [ __ ] like Vince Vaughn would go up I'll go up yeah that's how that was back back in the day so did it just fizzle out over time no what happened was Dublin's closed what happened was that the Lakers right this is when the Lakers Shaq and Kobes were like killing in the NBA and the [ __ ] Hollywood strip got really ghetto dude it's like I remember just I would go to the store and there would be like right down the center of Sunset would be like 20 cop cars just just waiting for [ __ ] to go down and it's just like that's what killed sunset yeah like it used to be insanely packed and now it's kind of like Hollywood Boulevard but not even that is I think it's gone downtown now this is one Fat Tuesday is on Tuesday you couldn't even go to the comedy store it was like you're in Detroit you were in Atlanta Yeah right I mean it was like you'd be in the [ __ ] patio and you're a gun one night right worthy Patterson my first manager he grabbed me by the back of the head and he just put me underneath like a table I thought like Wesley really saved my life that night you know it was that [ __ ] crazy back then yeah I mean it was I mean it's crazy now I may imagine him showing up like that yeah oh my god you would have died there's the president of white people but anyway what that was a great night yeah I mean it was amazing night and then Dain took it over and then it was so funny cuz Alonzo Bodden would always go on after day oh that's right ah that's right which me which is why he's bulletproof yeah I mean people don't realize some bein killing is the hardest I've ever seen anybody kill at that time you know what I'm gonna say this and this is gonna cause controversy it was either him or Mencia [ __ ] kill dude that's like back in the day yeah Carlos Mencia was unfollow Irbil you can argue against it that's fine I will argue again good the problem with Carlos is that you didn't want to do your good [ __ ] around him so it's like you ended up doing like crowd work or something and the energy would just dump yeah I mean dude I used to follow Carlos all the [ __ ] time and yeah people just don't want to get yelled at you know here's the thing about Carlos and I've talked about this on other things I know he's doing like a tour of apology ain't that me want to come on my podcast I'd love to have a [ __ ] talk with him because he fouled me he's a [ __ ] like dude the guy would call in and we like what's the line my way you would let go can he do something to you in Dallas yeah what okay tell us that so I like I like yeah you know is unbelie-- relationship with the improv sometimes they love me sometimes they don't and I was getting I I was doing Addison right and we were having great weeks ma'am so um I'm sitting there and I'm just hanging out in the green room which was the office back there and all of a sudden little Brad Williams waddle in like walks in right normal they don't want Williams I go oh that's when you knew that Carlos was yeah yeah yeah he's kind of like the court jester oh and I'm like Oh Brad's here [ __ ] I love Brad it's not his fault he's just you know trying to get crit sometimes you'll probably be like yeah I'm sure I love I love Brad he's a great great comic so anyways Carlos comes in with this [ __ ] cartel of Mexicans like just like ten Mexicans with him right yeah and he's literally like shaking everybody's hands in the room but he shakes my hand doesn't make eye contact with me and he's like oh hey this and I'm like this [ __ ] because he used to call in and find out where lineups are like where the lamp is at the Comedy Store he would always go right before me so that I would cancel so then he'd start going to in front of me so I couldn't say I do my blonde after him he did all the [ __ ] time nuts in Dallas now he's in Dallas dude I had this room would cut I had this rule with Carlos that if he did over 30 minutes I wasn't going up cuz that to me is a headliner spot people are like okay we saw the headliner let's go the [ __ ] home yeah I tell him I go if he does over 30 I'm [ __ ] going right yeah they go that's totally cool he does 28 minutes no okay let me just say that listen all right so you're headlining yes you're on the Billboard I am the headlight The Improv yes he comes in yes and he said well what what you didn't ask okay okay but what does a manager say it's like I know you're headlining but Mencia is gonna go up I know how does that woman see you wants because happened was this was just after the Joe Rogan snuff film came out uh you know and uh he wasn't selling tickets in theatres so he was trying to go around to muster up people to come see him in a theater ah and so he didn't even ask he's like yeah he wants to guest spot and I'm like I dude I would ask no no but can't you go no I don't have that kind of power you can you do I mean I did I well I didn't feel at the time I mean you know you go hey should we play I would be like Nam had money I know he's a big star or whatever at the time but I'll be like no I mean that's just not right you know it's just they're so wrong and right and and you know I know it's about the bottom dollar but it's like but I don't think he sells any at that I listen I get for the club at the time it means like people go oh dude girls Mencia popped in at the time you know that meant something oh nothing you know so anyways he goes up there and if you listen to him on the Marc Maron podcast he talks about how he'd like to teach people lessons he was the alpha dog he wanted to listen that's just a form of dominance well that's what he's trying to do but Dawg I'm oh I'm all Oh ROG dog I had to foul everybody a thousand [ __ ] times so I'm not like there's I mean sometimes like why I got fine but you just go into fight mode and what upset me dude so he does his act and he's going for blood like he's going to bury me and I remember him getting done and the place goes nuts right and then he goes are you guys ready for your headliner and literally the entire room goes oh I hear a hole someone's got a father they're all thinking someone's got a [ __ ] father and then I swear to God for the first time in my life I got tunnel vision and I was like oh [ __ ] that person's me oh my god so so he does the thing that is unforgivable at this moment he introduces me and runs off stage doesn't even wait to shake my hand say thanks for putting runs like and that's how I knew he's trying to teach me because I'm coming this way he runs this way he runs off stage I have to go up on stage I have this joke I do that does really well when you follow murderer and I drop it and the place explodes and I crush for an hour yeah people still come up to me that were there at the club I'm amazed and they're like dude I got off stage and so I go to the I mean I crushed I couldn't believe I'm like well I'm [ __ ] crush yeah so I go to the next door is this awesome piano yeah you go in and do the whole clearly the entire bar goes like no no it's a movie the whole place like yeah yeah well I forgot we had another show and everybody's buying me drinks bro and by the time the next show comes up I am blackout drunk and I do my entire set leaning against the [ __ ] oh I was crazy though back I used to do dry humping contests but I'd like to try get girls pregnant on stage it was like crazy yeah yeah so you know like different Triple E nominative at Ripley sober sober yeah yeah it's good I love it it's a much easier way to live what are you doing timewise bro we over in our can I uh I got I'm not done yet okay I just want push these shows of people yeah it's a good time yeah go push them well I put together a little tour I'm doing of Texas with jim Florentine and Brody Stevens all right zoom that's great yeah it's a lot of fun dude that's great those are great names yeah I'm super Florentine and OD Steve I love Brody Brody Zuma Jadus I don't know I don't really even care good I can go up first I can go up laughs I'm one of those weird people I could do any web clubs you playing ah we're doing a couple rock bars and a couple of comedy clubs on December 14th we are at the blind tiger in San Antonio huh December 15th we're at rob ray our IV at KS and that is in San Marcos and then we're at the secret group December 16th in Houston and then we're closing it out in Austin at cap city on Sunday the seven amazing like yeah dude just why do a whole week somewhere just do one night all your friends come one night yeah get all that you know and then you're moving to the next one Doug Benson was telling me about that that to do it that way but I I do well on the weekends that I just well it's also fun just to go up in T offer now or not the move but I like traveling around like that I don't know I guess fine I get it anyone listening uh go check out those shows it's a great line out what are you gonna do a special all right what are you doing I do this a weird episode No are you what are you getting in your head yeah I love the story this was like knowledgeable I thought we had everything in it I love this way okay what the [ __ ] tell me about the fire you guys are bringing all oh yeah dude I got a bet with Ari and Jason Tebow who's ever team finished the worst in the NFL we got shoved Dodger dogs up our [ __ ] yeah and he told me I should ask you for advice like take it slow come on if you've never seen a Dodger dog there long barrel very long there about this one well I had it I I only know candy bars you know and we do Twix yes so that's not that big so um no I just I saw that you are very supportive and I think that's very cool that your girls supportive yeah shoving candy bars okay you know that when you out you know you got your ticket [ __ ] and you just kind of squeeze don't [ __ ] [ __ ] before oh [ __ ] the day before no [ __ ] right right before like porno friends and asuna know about it man but at the end of here what we do is we do a an email question and it's called unhelpful advice you can be helpful or not helpful and then we answer them okay okay a helpful advice with Bobby kalila ETSU Tripoli what's up everyone my name is Edgar and I love you do that second city thousand voices no just one but yeah my name is Edgar and I love each and one time ever you I'm 28 and I'm from New Mexico and I need some advice a few months ago after me and my wife had done a lot five plus years of role play with wife sharing we decided to actually try it out she ended up having sex with two other guys at different times the main reason we did it is because I'm only average-sized at best and she has given birth to two kids and she says she just wanted to try something different and I was really aroused by the idea of watching her - so I found guys and set it up however after the first encounter my wife became extra aroused we went from sex once weekly to everyday and she wanted to keep having sex with well-endowed men every day if she could after the second encounter we had a long combo about her pass and we really went deep which was nice until we got to how she felt about my size she ends up telling me that she kuba can't feel me and just wants to hurry up and finish every time I always felt she faked her interest but not to that point we stopped the sharing after the second encounter because I said it was time consuming and she didn't want to look for herself over however now she isn't as aroused and we have sex less than weekly and she is back to faking interest and kind of over the over the top about it what should I do I love my wife they're married they're married over I love my wife and I've talked to her about it but she assures me she enjoys it now thanks in advance she lying that's a weird thing dog Edgar there's a weird thing opened up a door yeah you should know that's what people don't understand it's like I always have my this happened to my friend he's like yeah I was in this open relationship and guys think that's great man it's like hey dude you know I get to go bang some wool but you know what dog your girl gets to go bang diggy man there's a lot more dicks banging on that door than [ __ ] girls banging on your door and like you open that [ __ ] thing now personally I understand [ __ ] holding coupling I understand it you've been in relationship for a while you got a decision to make yeah ah do you want to get a divorce where you lose all your [ __ ] the house your baby or move the [ __ ] out yeah can you let your wife get some strange on the side I get that yeah I it's an easy decision for me yeah yeah who you would do it then dude if I'm into a relation I'm in a relation in a long relationship now you are yeah but it's a miracle he could say the same about you Bobby I've always been a relationship [ __ ] man but never longer than like a year I'm a relationship guy he's never one he's like I am do I've been a long day huh what's her name 13 years yeah what's your name Dana anyways back to the story anyways I'm thinking like what she listens to she listen to my pie I don't know dude I don't think I don't think you can go back yeah no I mean like it's just the truth but you know what dude girls faked an orgasm guys fake feelings so I mean we both bring sometimes some fake-ass [ __ ] to it and we just keep this facade up for a while but it sounds like you've I mean I think he should [ __ ] try to find his own weird thing he's into you know maybe the cook thing is his weird thing he probably enjoys it more than he's admitting maybe he's just upset because she moans different than when he when he's with her I also think like I don't know I don't think I mean women in general when we were into somebody and we love them we really don't care how big they are we care about it in a sexual sense we're okay yeah but that's a very small portion of our lives together that is like I mean sex is really overblown like we act like I talk about it's like it's really your sex in what you're into is about some as important as your workout like you talk a lot of game about your workout you know same thing about sex you like I'm gonna go to the [ __ ] gym I'm gonna do karate I love Pilates and then you end up just hanging out drinking a smoothie at the fruitball yeah it's the same [ __ ] thing we're working out you're like babe I'm gonna [ __ ] tie you up I'm gonna put this right thing put wax are you nipple put on horse tail [ __ ] butt plug yeah yeah and then it's like pump pump dump right yeah yeah be so much more than it really having sex every day that's still seven minutes out of 24 hours a day that's such a small portion of your life and it's just weird so you give a little you take a little I don't know man I think it is I think his wife needs to take acting lessons and dude that's that's it like get Meissner class is not getting or what it does about this this would you rejuvenation work doodle rejuvenation why don't they just go and go to sort of give me a twelve-year-old save the hair tighten that [ __ ] eyes I have to get wrecked before the rejuvenator can you be like can I just like that like click click click and like make it tighter I suspect that like a drawstring in their pouch dude that'd be great you have a drawstring and then the guy can just adjust it yeah size fits all now the baby is bad you yeah but also now that I know that he's allowing to me having sex with other men why would I give him III want to keep doing that so why would I tell him he's giving me the most pleasure do you know what I mean like if I don't want to tell he's a one-stop-shop for all of my pleasures if I know that he's allowing me to see other men so as long as I tell him his dick is insufficient he's gonna keep letting me [ __ ] other men and she has to make a decision what's more important with her lover dick yeah if she's if it's love she's got to come to grips I mean but why should he you have two kids you get lit she hasn't given up to him and like faked it more better and then he SP cooled her get another dick and maybe enjoying it shoot some [ __ ] porn up videos put her to work and at some point you're both gonna be old and decrepit and it's not gonna matter yeah at some point you're just like it's just like let's hope we don't like the same TV show Yeah right are you in the [ __ ] stranger things I'm in the stranger thing so let's [ __ ] watch it I'm into peaky blinders what is that ah okay I'm going to say this a lot Ikki blind okay yeah yeah you don't like it yeah oh you're like Irish are you Irish why do you hate to wrong so never weird that's why don't we see Korean dramas I know people my point is this didn't my kungfu is great have you watched their original kung fu movies no they're phenomenal okay this [ __ ] right here yeah every five minutes oh don't you know me like this what is it Cecilia what's his name Cece Lynn Murphy Killian Killian Murphy good actor oh gosh oh please what not me okay if you were married oh you know like I swear to God 12 hours of every [ __ ] five minutes and I just want to rip [ __ ] Scarecrow's eyes out I mean this guy first of all John snow and Cillian Murphy I'm gonna [ __ ] you babe how do you know because they're not well he's married so I would never yeah they're not into brown skin dude you're crazy dude that's the whole thing about when guys and girls make celebrity like [ __ ] it lists like girls actually have a chance at we don't they actually have a shot at knocking a couple off the list we Adam Dunn I know never up TV credits then they think you're wrong I'll pull your local commercial you don't know what natalie portman likes you don't know just like there's no maybe and listen I do love and the reason why I get along with people like Gillian Anderson or Nigella Gilly it's because it's already out there that there's that sexual thing it's like you know a mother father kind of you know mean like mother's son kind of a relationship right ready when you meet people like that I like when I'm on like Lindsay Price on this new show ma there's she's married to Curtis Stone she's got kids and when I first met her there was already like oh you're my little brother it's already out there I don't have a [ __ ] chance with your body all these Hollywood times is that why you're trying to make sure that I believe I can't get it yeah oh you know what go get it then they have can I at least try I know he's married it's okay so you could try it yeah cuz you know marry guys in Hollywood won't do anything weird good point anyway can we well if she lets you watch I feel like you would want him in some way in some capacity yeah what if you could like have a threesome with Killian Murphy you would not have a threesome with me Bobby yes Hall yeah I should try eating but one time I would like pretend that I was like a part of like you know Ra's al Ghul's yeah ooh I'd am a roleplay Dark Knight kind of a thing you'd roll somehow you know I'd start with Killian Murphy yeah I'm gonna get yeah I do a lone storyline you know I mean like scarecrow killed you know Bane and I'm Ben's brother so I'm gonna eat his butthole might have a poison in my mouth no one's ever talked about eating scared Sam you know you killed it here you're very funny thank you dude and you know how I know it was good the time flew by I always go to 50 minutes 45 minutes are we done yet it's just us I'm always 40 minutes are we done yet and I know we have another 20 minutes this one we were up way above an hour and I was like I could keep going but what just carry us you know that was amazing thank you Bob allow me to get in your head about it yeah I didn't Coast you you found by the / Burbank who you're stupid all right is that yours I'll do it it's been on like a couple times what is it my brother like on that show he's great you level because if we're in it's a very supporting environment yeah my brother is um he's a reptilian case yeah yeah yeah it's it he gets it I don't I think she's more out there do you think it's just that you think that's all it is in the whole universe of things let me see something I know for a fact right it's just because it's endless galaxies upon galaxies there's obviously libraries yeah out there okay I just don't think that they're here yet I believe obviously that there is life out there there's probably there's probably like a Star Trek there's like you know mean an alien race that's so above us they're not [ __ ] with us right right right you know so they want to [ __ ] with the prime directive you know me so they're like so how did human beings come evolved weird how do we what is that jump from monkeys to humans what evolution no but there's a gap in there they can't explain the missing link it's called where is that what is that you're saying that from fish didn't come from fish Katie well how does evolution does it come fish and well we know it went from let me see it well you have a wish - lizard lizard Tyler Tyler all right yeah see what no Nate okay let's go down and do this okay this is what I thought and just I'm not smart and so how do you explain Korean language have you seen that looks like alien writing no does it looks like something right but if they look at an A or or W sound that looks alien to we're not from [ __ ] right right right but that really looks like some alien [ __ ] okay so what you're saying to me is is that Asians or aliens there may be more alien than you are then maybe even Arabic shit's weird yeah I mean like dude there's a lot crazy [ __ ] they think that's what you're saying is it the only place were giants okay let's go back I ain't Giants a big kid they were giant there's a giant there was a she's of giant I know I said they say after skulls of a they found Scott Jong beings in Tutankhamun was not if they found Andre the Giant skull right I would gigantism right it'll go oh my god they were giants back that no but it was Andre the Giant have you they're even bigger than Andre the Giant like Andre John was like seven foot right like we're talking like a grown man well also thrown giant dude you're saying to me right now that they found a body a sushi chef on a smoke break right now you're you're saying to me right now jack that they found 12 foot men bout the bones of I don't know the exact number that and I'll get murdered on that number so I can't say by lava [ __ ] it's bigger than seven foot we wouldn't go crazy over 7 foot people but 9 foot you're saying like really oh yeah and that dude how many just one or that statue that they say is alive like have you seen that statue it's like Oh like we're going into like crazy town USA no it's that crazy raise you you should go into it you two nutjobs are those three guys from the x-files you know those nerds then the what are they calling me to try to do a spin-off showed and failed I don't know yeah but that's what you guys are I just saw it now no no don't do that with your [ __ ] white eyebrows in my face why I'm not but I do believe there as I would believe in simulation theory before that yeah and that I believe that I don't believe in flat earth but I think there's something that is making these guys think that yeah and like that whether smoke there's fire that not that there is a flat plane or anything like that but something isn't adding up that they're going [ __ ] crazy like and that could be simulation theory like they went all the way down there going all the way down like they like keep breaking down molecules more and more and more to this one scientist said he's found binary code like ones and zeros like so deep into what you keep slicing and dicing ones and zeros that sounds like a computer program to me so I don't [ __ ] know I don't know I and here's the whole thing nobody knows except for the highest levels of [ __ ] NASA of what's really going on if you sit there and go NASA's told us everything that's true all the time you're in denial they've Lydell they've been caught lying I lie all the time so I know that they're lying human nature that we let's podcast is doing well but it's not billion-dollar I know but let me say something right now alright I here's the things that I know all right my immediate life like in my inner circle you know like what I do for a living might you know the bigger your LA you know but I see what I see and I experienced what I experienced all this other stuff right it's just what you experience is actually a controlled hallucination you already have preconceived things that are hardwired into your brain so what you see is what's preconceived beliefs so you're actually looking at the world not inside out but outside it dude I respect the [ __ ] out of that now listen the moon she's [ __ ] dating me man all right yeah don't give her [ __ ] fantasy fantasy [ __ ] are you [ __ ] weirdo man right now all right that's a great name white weirdo yeah so what I'm saying do to you right now you're saying to me right now right is that right now this is all a hallucination that I mixed not a hologram it's a hologram okay you might have an anxiety attack thinking I'm like seriously like going tunnel vision right now because I mean there's crazy nothing like the thing about this is like when you argue quote-unquote conspiracy theories yeah you're literally like and there are crazy people that are bump like we were just talking about that we are courting a bunch of crazy people like I get called a gay Jew she'll constantly you know I'm not gay I'm not you I'm not sure I'm your headline a Jew I'm not my meaning yeah I sent you okay you get a you get us if you're looking for retail Jew you can't afford that your 99-cent store you get a [ __ ] Armenian that's what you get so so what you're six years reasonable skeptic but you're not if we call it spiritual skepticism you just saw you are question the official narrative because there's a lot most people should do but they don't what they do is they rely on because there's over the last like since the cleanse there's been a complete change or at least they were more open about it and how the news is delivered ah there was consolidation of all the media under one group of six people that six companies owned all 90% of media and they control the [ __ ] message and that message is directly relate to what they make money and then that is God gold oil [ __ ] drugs okay that's that's the trillion dollar business the Hollywood [ __ ] is the billion dollar they don't give a [ __ ] about that it's the big bucks so there's a manipulation that goes on with that and I'm not trying to change anything I say the people I go our show is a compilation porn of conspiracies okay we take the greatest hits and we talk about let me ask you something we're taking the ice-cream man and come to I think I think he's a part of the diss man be dues how [ __ ] his face got all red everybody blows up has some weird CIA kinetic say something right now is there a starter skit I can get into like a book I can read a think there is what is it I think you should start with JFK start looking into the assassination of JFK start looking really deep down I would love for you to come on my podcast and what we could do one time is what they call swap cast where we do the both do pot we do at one time we both put it out and then we could teach you and sit down and break down little things for you and you could go and we'll only present the facts and you could make your own decision we'll do a swap cast no here's what I want to do okay okay I don't know what you just said I don't know what that is yeah but what I would do okay is go to your podcast yeah and just teach me things all right we're done I'd love for you and your brother to come on but your brother I think he'd be nervous here there because you'd make him I don't know railroad him I wouldn't railroad I would listen yeah I would take notes that's fine you know what that's it I'll bring a notebook I'll buy a notebook yeah I'll get a pen sir 101 dog yeah we would we do it every Monday at 3:00 you already did today yes we had a great one with Ron plet cone from the Jimmy Dore show come on dude big fan of his you like Jimmy Dore you think I loved you I loved Jimmy door Jimmy doors doing the Lord's work right now huh boy he's out there like he's doing like if you like play like people need political talk yeah they need to get at the right places yeah this is great it's right down the middle here acts both sides I don't join groups talk I'm a Ronan dog lone assassin all right enough of that I love your mouth [ __ ] robbing samurai have dude now too I am sure and you give up the pace so can you help me get to kill this guy all right [ __ ] you yeah I would love to do next Monday I'm on a TV show okay filming when you're done filming but uh so arms uh yeah I'm playing Vancouver what's the call Hanna's Yuk Yuk's December 30th ice I'm sorry November 30 out of the show Friday because all the other ones are sold out dude it's right when you do it a special I don't really need to do one if that's the [ __ ] I don't really need to do one you shine numbers on road are great yeah and if I don't listen to me here's my fear I do a special and then what happens then I have to do a [ __ ] theater that oh my I like your gloves I like I love you anything you want you could be Russell Peters he goes from arenas the club I'm gonna do one okay you look like every like a peasant um poof like talking about the bag I was just come in and kicked everybody's ass you know I just said this right now if this is really [ __ ] you're really bumming me out right now because today we went and bought your skills now I'll never gonna wear it again great look at me dude oh yeah what on the internet told me and this is joke I do but they told me I look like a rapist who rapes rapist [ __ ] hurts no that's a movie that's yet you rape rapists hmm do you think they would like it or not Dexter dick can't rip the Willing so it wouldn't be right yeah anyway we had a really good time tonight it was a lot of fun and I was this one eight nineteen 119 we're take a little photo broke the record what we broke the record you hate Brett Morin Brentwood what's the time on this 20 minute monologue yeah I'm getting over a Roth yeah dude trailblazing if you find your podcast there's punch-drunk sports and then there's a tin foil hat punch RecSports tin foil hat check them both out they're both crazy cool we'll be right back guys whoa and we are back there was a long podcast yeah sorry phone down Caleta phone down I wish you would have talked more about the conspiracy theory stuff the beginning I was like we got more about Thomas Shelby you guys don't watch peaky blinders really I should i my sister loves my god it is such a great show I didn't know you dream about Murphy oh that's because I haven't been able to I don't know how to say this you guys but I woke up today feeling like a different person and this is not an exaggeration and I'm not just saying this to for the sake of story I really am i I felt things in my dream because I was dreaming of dawn Shelby and I don't know what it is about him and I'm sure every girl who watches the show feels the same way but I there there's a revelation into some type of like internal thing happened in me and I am a brand-new woman peaky blinders Wow getting there's a lot of themes that it addresses that makes me that RINO makes me think about my own life and he's really just really good-looking sorry babe and he every time I'm watching the show and he like yells at me every 15 seconds he forbids me now to watch season four well everyone check it out so you can but it's been around forever you know you've never heard of dude say that well then you don't hang with the right dudes cuz it's just an amazing gangster show set in 1920s Birmingham England there's Netflix right yeah it's on Netflix but I think it's originally like a BBC show mmm yeah it's only six episodes per season oh that's good musics amazing called Nick Cave PJ Harvey they have a bunch of good stuff and Brun awesome [ __ ] anyways anybody else it's like cause we have to watch it profess my love for Thomas Shelby you just love English people don't you me I love everybody yeah but something about an English man that's just like no it's really just his character right so like even he's he's a full-blown gangster he but even while he's doing dirty work there's still a bit of there's an honour about him like he's he's he's a [ __ ] racketeer he's killed people he's done certain things but even in doing all the dirty business there is an overwhelming feeling that he's doing it all for the sake of his family they started at the bottom and they're there they're in descent time where it was very dog-eat-dog you know there was a lot of corruption in government there was a I don't want to go into it too much oh but the fact that he loves his family so much is a very very attractive thing for me or attractive idea for a show it's like family family family Tom I didn't know Tom Hardy wasn't it yeah he plays Alfie Sullivan okay he's really good in it and his wife isn't it to check it out yeah George any Matt PK has a new video a mostly compilation of Bobby's singing but a lot of great stuff in there so you can find that on the reddit or the Facebook page good videos there Sam's tinfoil hat podcast remember that there's two episodes with Steve on if you want a good intro for that a lot of conspiracy stuff that we ended this podcast on don't forget if you want great sheets Brooklyn and calm promo code belly also Bobby added a third show to Friday night that yuk-yuk so if haven't been able to buy tickets you can still go to that extra show go to Bobby Lee live.com you can follow us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly and email us any questions for an helpful advice or anything you want at tiger belly at gmail.com and kalila thank you for cutting my Thanksgiving that see we can talk about we have a solo one next week yeah yeah okay then we can talk about Thanksgiving we could talk about all of that stuff guys welcome Bryce back to the fall yeah I have a few questions for you Bryce so we don't know the fate should we do it on the Instagram live because we haven't done one in so long yeah but I where have you been and why did you abandon us it's probably it probably has well before you left George was like Oh Bryce is gonna film a documentary he'll be back in a month and then a year ago a year pass us by and really like where's the realist how long is it been eat the mic was six months has it only been six months yeah I left in forgive me oh it felt like a year you were gone so long I click with that but I think it six seven months yes that was longer for sure why did you leave us what George alone that's a great question yeah I went back to try to this project the project fell through but a lot of great experiences that's like I'll help the family for a bit self a family mm-hmm I ignore them for four year it's about here at maker doing the Hollywood thing and the big digital be good Bryce oh my god about all the families like yeah I should spend some time with them then Spain oh yeah I saw that you were in Mexico for a wedding man that summer flew by yeah no I found a girlfriend as well a little bit arresting that's always a good reason to stay away long yeah that complicated things out have been back here a lot sooner is she in LA now she's flying out tomorrow and she live here with you visit and then she'll move out in December Oh everyone's growing so fast I can't deal with this Georgia snacks George if I'm honest there's a little bit of a selfish part of me that doesn't want you ever get a girlfriend well you said that same thing to me like a lot the first time it's kind of like you know like when you have a sibling in the same way I feel when my sister gets a boyfriend I have to reconcile without feeling make sense now well you're like but like I'm I'm their number one you know like I'm the number one and he loves and you're not the number one and then you have it takes a moment to for that transition so I don't want any of you guys even when you got with Cindy I was like oh no no I love her my sister talks to her boyfriend on the phone I'm just like like I don't know can we hang out yeah yeah but see I mean now it's like I love my sister's boyfriend he's my brother yeah and I wouldn't have it any other way but initially there's always like is he gonna change are you one of those guys that gets the girlfriend and we never hear from him again no you'll always be my Monday number one and my Thursday afternoon number okay no I think I get one day those are nice titles your Monday number one cuz I've had some friends like over time where they get into a relationship and you just don't see him anymore oh no I hate those people those are the people are the worst yeah you're like oh that's so sad I really thought that we are family friends because of that that's just weird yeah don't be that way Bryce case no hundred rice don't be like that I've been thinking about it but you're back here now so will will well you know we'll trap you shout out to Renzo I don't know I wanted to say that if I go with my mom for an hour after the party was over dude your parents are the best and they're also just so comfortable and your dad I know you don't think he's well you're a good audience that's one no no I know you don't think he's funny but in Bisaya he is so funny what kind of comic is he American why's he has the best bisaya street jokes are you heard you laughing you just don't understand saya Gilbert god you're rude now let's try to watch it your sis like are they just being nice because no no bro I was doubled over I was cackling your dad's the best dad jokes anyways thank you guys for listening we'll talk about Thanksgiving next week make sure you check out Barbie shows of bobbili live.com all of our social media and you can follow kalila on calamity k and george at george underscore kibble and ladies you can't hit price anymore but if he's gonna follow him it's a challenge guys [Music] [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 251,300

Rating: 4.7679324 out of 5

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, khalyla, gilbert galon, podcast, khalyla kuhn, tgrbly, sam tripoli, tinfoil hat, punch drunk sports, comedy, stand up comedy, comedy store

Id: mNZbDTXo7QQ

Length: 105min 43sec (6343 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 30 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/PinkDickOFFICIAL]

Wow, the video looks so much better than last week.