Theo Von & Slampy The Dwarf | TigerBelly 183

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mermaid that we really slimmer than the ridge wallet reg wah check it out no I love to have cool yams happy to be in here don't talk when I get ill I didn't reduce you okay okay this is my little controlling thing that I do now you seem tired today you're tired really okay yeah you seem like Stevie swollen swollen my brother get your side shaped huh no wouldn't you go to Australia friends we're now starting in May Wow see me Cory main generator ferry march april may all sit still while away yeah well it is gonna be mmm did you ever spend any time over there yeah really do you live with a man over there what was it did you read this woody Australian footage Oh a rare a Meganium Dickie as well could flood dozens of cities in California report says yeah a rare mega that has been circulating for the last decade yeah this is you know it's so funny because the people that laugh at stuff like this is the ones that die first all that first okay so let's given Noah's Ark it I don't know but I think that we should talk about this well we should own a boat then no we're how many floors up are we three but it's a storm we can't get you know food and that's why I'm stocking up now on seeds and all that [ __ ] that you need really feel from yeah ba-bye soil week you know how much is soil huh $10 I got soil money what happens five four three two why walking down the street feeling so good to me yeah yeah have fun with my friends to the end then I guy welcome to another episode what's up you want to sing to know are they gonna go faster yeah oh you thought I was an iPad you're gonna go yeah you are you know that was gonna [ __ ] it up then me walking down the street speed okay good I like it yeah yeah yeah that's a good song botched your own lyrics no I did I'm so good to me me walking down the street being so good to me yeah you said feeling so good whatever I sometimes it's the converse German version you know these different countries have different versions and you believe in Germans or not I don't believe in them no I think there's still a [ __ ] theory yeah yeah yeah yeah but when I meet one maybe they'll change my mind I've seen the movies since Schindler's List good one what's another German Das Boot you ever see Das Boot um no I don't talk introduced you yet sorry okay risky business is that you are right now risky business yes I am NOT no I'm not you're not risky business I'm not so okay I'm tired of your [ __ ] right now I'm sorry sir let me introduce everyone in the room okay okay me captain the leader of the room all right powerhouse 101 yes all right top of the tier the one with the [ __ ] mechanisms and the buttons who controls it controls the vehicles that will dismay you okay I am the one in this room and no one in this room is above me Wow so me Bobby Lee okay all right we got here we got the ugly has a version of what might be he's a virgin No well you could probably it could be I really honestly could be yeah you talked about he started the in cells look at him oh yeah good see him doing yeah yeah yeah do you can feel him yeah yeah yeah doing some real radical yeah yeah we've got a pirate pirate ching chong from the pocket ching chong boat we got gilbert and we have the dishonorable price and we have a very special guest i I can I can there's so many good things I can say about this man he's they some people come the Rat King some I call him country country he is a woodsman yeah he's uh from deep but deep in the woods right oh they have moonshine oh yeah right and rope they love Rove out there yeah yeah rope is just long blue right and you guys do funny things with rope you know what do you do saddle you saddle things up saddled yeah yeah I make nests yeah yeah we got okay now I'm gonna introduce you know he sold a lot of tickets in Australia this guy is coming up in the world not just in comedy but in general 72 days of pornography 70s awful pornography 72 days if you guys smell a full bag that's daddy I heard something when you walked in oh yeah that's cool baby we got Co Vaughn man one of my favorite people on of all time the Obagi all right what's up man you good nice to be here and thank you guys for having me in your home and it's beautiful here good to see here good to see you guys are still operating on a high caliber yeah everybody's doing well now how do you arm do 72 days without porn you know what you well I what I did is I put the blockers on my phone science they have these scientific blockers and you get them and you put them on your phone in your computer and it keeps me off of pornography so I'm not seeing all that spread and all of that [ __ ] and everything yeah why because I was masturbating all the [ __ ] on there not to be rude oh yeah I was doing when I look back a man even told me said well write down what you were doing it out then I wrote that and I look back I was like oh that's what I was doing wrong you think you're doing it more than the average person I thought I was doing it out of a habit so I would just be uncomfortable and I wouldn't know what to do with myself and so I go do that instead of like yeah I said just coping or just having an ear just like it wasn't like it used to be like oh man let me crack out a little bit of this pornography right but now he got to the point where was like oh dude let me just do this and then do whatever it go on about the rest of my day but came a weird thing Oh like it's bad habit so you did it once a day you think no I was doing it maybe five times a week making my body I guess right like it's working Monday through Friday yeah take off some of taking note Thursday into a Sunday I don't have a plan right so it's like working at a restaurant yes picture picking up a lot of shifts and also then sometimes some days not showing up for work yeah yeah I get it yeah yeah because III to have I think a problem oh yeah I've heard about that man and what do you mean everybody knows it for one I mean look what happened here girls I you can't just shut jetted one in there I bro it might think drips do it it doesn't shoot well that's what I heard the other day the other day you guys said it's like two guys climb out of like a truck that fell over on his side right right well it was like winning - two tickets after winning skee-ball skee-ball yeah and just to take it's coming but let me ask so what happens to your body like like because I remember years ago I did I did um I think 70 days without masturbating and I know it was weird I was wondering like what darker yeah like damn their number hell erases it now realize I had these on I'm sorry yeah it wasn't like that I didn't realize that I was moody when I was like we are you moody at all our love you know it's funny actually man I felt a lot more anger right they just realize that cuz I've been feeling a lot more anger recently and I didn't really I have been able to equate it too much and then I think some of it could be you know not masturbating I'll come out I want to be honest with you there is an edge to you as of late yeah I always equated it that you were like you have so much on your plate and that you're kind of stressed out yeah right but maybe now in retrospect if I think about it it could be you not masturbating as well yep yeah yet what's the endgame here front the endgame for me you know probably have a little family somewhere oh you know or you mean tonight oh you know I mean I didn't mean like your whole life oh yeah yeah yeah I just met like this masturbation deal that's what I'm at right I just want you what you far with it you're going over there a chump though it's just like you know quitting cigarettes I'm not having the nicotine you're just gonna be a shitty person for first couple days and then you know yeah yeah that's what I'm talking so trying to quit cigarettes right now two days yeah oh really for two days yeah so I can see an edge oh yeah I will suck somebody's dick for a [ __ ] just a rumor of menthol but not you buddy yeah yeah nobody doesn't want it okay never him though right you know I can never imagine something your dick Gilbert think I would laugh too much while sucking your dick no I feel the opposite that you would start grabbing hair I don't I think that men don't know how to grab hair properly and that's my thing there's a properly and a not proper way to do it you're gonna do it grab it by the base and pull a lot of it don't grab it by the ends and then just pull chunks of it like you need to have intention and direction yeah you know what I do I go to read the end guy curled it he told me he was like oh you girl yeah you're a gay man yeah yeah you know what I like to do is I like to feel the skull and take my fingernails and make it a little indentation inside the skull so there's a little little bleeding going on I just grab it like it's a [ __ ] you know means soft watermelon yeah and I just grab it like this and then I do yeah I put [ __ ] uh conditioner in my hair oh yeah and put on the hair lightly like that sleepy is that sleeping koala that's good no I don't like I'm a piece I don't even come anymore if I'm having sex you know I'm not coming I'm out of here yeah you've stopped before oh I stopped all the time if I may yeah that if for anymore for me if I'm involved in the sex but I'm not coming I'm out of there I think it's old-fashioned I'm gonna come around here and leave some idea that's enough Forensic Files to know that you come in your own car on the way home it's old-school coming it's old-school it's what you're saying yeah I'll come it yeah you just need me back in the day coming up this bus and other side of a Conestoga wagon yeah yeah so you you get to the point of coming yeah you make del reloj loiter around the point you know yeah yeah be out there doing jumping jacks I don't yeah but I'm not busting that's for me yeah you got to really be somebody special if I'm gonna calm at your house yeah you're not getting this freaking free spunk yeah and here's the thing dude it's like just in case you come in the place yeah and then you leave and all of a sudden she gets murdered yeah now you're comes all over the place a rapist a not a rapist to do it yeah but your comes all over in her eyes and how about the Scott this that marks on her skull with your fingernail yeah yeah and I go right and all of a sudden I'm in prison for life right oh did I wonder how you would be in prison I wonder I would be a walking hole yeah it would just be look at that is that a black hole and then they look at my face you know that's Bobby's ass it would just be do it people would just be carry your ass in both sigh I guess each hand you would just walk in yeah yeah with yeah like yeah like it's a dress like I'm bowing out like a couple curtsy yeah those are my ass cheeks I think that I would bat flies out of it but I people are telling ghost stories outside of a little lantern that's fine but I think that like if you saw myself oh yeah I'd have stacks of cigarettes oh yeah right I have all wine like I have all the things because I'm gonna barter yeah I'm gonna barter for my butthole oh yeah [Laughter] yeah but I bet I bet after a while there's like an orange like safety valve people know everyone knows it seems to be walking yeah yeah that's good yeah I think I would survive though don't you think yes you would survive I couldn't see anybody killing you you don't seem like the kind of person somebody would kill okay who is that oh it's me forecast 46 degrees weirdest thing like take the temperature of the room you just press that button I don't know this yeah no it's not god it's your fingerprint yes sirree yeah it's eerie yeah yeah yeah what's the difference between Siri and Alexa but this the same concept same concept yeah yeah I like Alexa yeah she's cool yeah turns off the lights yes Persian isn't it I wouldn't know why would you say super versus marry like Syria you know I like Syria no like hey there's Siri she's Persian oh I like that when you say it like that yeah yeah yeah yeah oh what'd you think Siri isn't a purr oh my bad yeah here's some little white girl named series yeah yeah that's true yeah yeah man yeah prison would probably cuz we just did a thing we talked about how Bill Cosby what he said it wasn't me he's having an amazing time in prison let me see that yeah why because he seems like an addict he seemed like somebody have some problems sometimes those people just like structure they just want to be in a place right you know where they're comfortable he might be getting a little bit of sex sometimes those guys you can get conjugal visits and get that organized sex oh I see that maybe that's going on I think his first week yeah I'd like a chicken patty thrown at his face no two foods thrown is a bad joke yeah yeah where was the other [ __ ] Oh my funny bone [ __ ] duck the chicken patty yeah you've really worked in the industry what is the work I mean the worst is here's the worst when you're at a club it's friday ii chow and you can just tell they're unruly oh yeah right you know you know there's really not much you can do this is get through it all right that's the worst [ __ ] feeling I think you get those or no anymore yeah I get that I mean that's a bad feeling dude I like I don't like um what are we talking about something we like or don't like what do you mean I know but Chris Sabo take the glasses off dude it's [ __ ] sorry Oh yeah yeah now you're here oh yeah yeah that's like a time machine yeah what the worst thing in happening oh they had a mental this was in uh where was this one time Texas I think Austin that a mentally challenged person started calling me the N word from the audience a white no yeah cap city huh yep cap cap city right and someone's I might ever went there we're in the little room in the front uh-huh and somebody just started yelling mentally challenged person sort of staged Wow and what you would you say you know I tried to convince him that you know they had the wrong guy right I would have got shut up [ __ ] right because he's not yeah right so if you're gonna play that game you're right we can throw throw out another [ __ ] racist thing toward him right yeah and then it would have got a laugh maybe oh that's true yeah I don't know what I did I think also a lot of people really immediately keyed in that this guy was mentally challenged you know yeah one time my first time in Houston Oh before we get to that we have an ad whoo have you ever felt left out lonely like you're not a part of the club have you ever thought there are a lot of rent reads on podcast these days if you want to get your exclusive ad free free Tiger belly Pont episode head over to patreon.com slash Tiger belly for less than the cost of a cafe latte you can get a bonus Tiger belly who wrote that okay less than a cluster of like two double-a batteries yeah right fact you can get a bonus Tiger belly every week plus access to exclusive discord mm-hmm Plus what does discord plus the chance to ask the guests your questions plus even more rewards plus what are using plus more thanks to honesty though thanks to your overwhelming support we will hit our first goal soon and we'll be adding new ones the Tiger belly if you want to hear our Philippines episodes will be on patreon in a week or two when you sign up you will have access to exclusive RSS feed that you can paste into most major podcasting apps and you will get immediate access to all the previous episodes to join the club go to patreon.com calm no patreon.com slash dog or belly today dogger belly guys don't mind on patreon enjoy the rest of the show I was the first time I headline after mat team will know this weekend actually would they improv yeah and it's also a lot except for Thursday night late are you gonna kill it that you have you been there before never been you've never been there oh you're gonna love it really yeah and then say hello to the manager he's a good friend of mine what's his name Raymond okay you're Eamon are you sure that is mentally no it's not it's not no no a lot of the challenge people are given the name Raymond when they mean if you'll realize that really sounds like oh that's alright we're from Rain Man you think from Ronnie from Raymond or from Raymond yeah yeah he um he looks like a like he's a part of the Addams Family oh really they kind of yeah would you let go what's a know what Gomez Gomer [ __ ] dark yeah tell him I said hi though yeah yeah Raymond you're gonna love him he's a good doer Lee I love Texas you love Texas but the first time I went there it was after Matt and my 8 I was with Matt Blake and he goes um you got a headline because you're not making any money you got a headline mm-hm alright how much time to a guy do it he does 45 Wow and I go I don't have it like I don't have it you can make it you can do it just take all your old bits mix it around right I'm not [ __ ] can you did that second we're meeting at a Taco Bell what new menu I have we get a have around put fire coming up with a that Taco Bell has five things I know they make 50,000 things out of it they're very clever yeah right they take the hard shell they use the reef I bring that adhesive when do you look at fried great fried brains about that's adhesive usually on the third day Holy's boy yeah yeah that's grandma [ __ ] cousin hits a frijoles in hang me so i hang this drywall baby yeah but uh so i ii show dude literally the first i didn't maybe thirty eight minutes mmm and he was like nah that's not good enough the guy it wasn't raymond at the time oh the second she was so rowdy I thought I did 38 mm I said goodnight I got off I did 12 12 minutes and I get off the stage in the matter because because you gonna go back out though right I got I don't do so rowdy I can't I have nothing I can't do it yeah rowdy - yeah waits in the crowd and then I remember customers coming and going how come you didn't do longer yeah like walk I remember it being so [ __ ] embarrassing because when you have a name like that's why guys like you know Piven Jeremy Piven is now headlining clubs you know but he's not a I mean he's been going up around town he's very entertaining he's very attending but imagine him having a rowdy crowd on a second show at a club that's packed cause he's gonna pack them in riot be scary it'd be scary dude it's tough it's a tough business but they make you do it because you have a name yeah if you draw you know but guys like you know Michael Rapaport of doing it and they're like throwing them so that's why I like Robert I see him following real good guys he's not afraid because I think what he's doing is he's trying to like you know throw himself to the wolves and he knows that that's gonna right help him get fat better faster yeah right uh yeah he's pretty fearless in essence of putting himself out in the spaces because yeah I mean he's getting in lineups you know that are pretty wild pretty heavy line I mean the best in the world I think yeah I mean I've seen him in line of following dudes that are [ __ ] monsters yeah and he goes up there and he does it you know and he's not eating it he's doing good you know I'm he's not he could be better yeah him in a stage in 20 years yeah yeah so I just get him back into it and the shop did that too yeah job you know you know obviously he got into a knee he got fast good pretty fast I think yeah he's alarming lucky those guys are hard workers you know that's one thing about it is like is it's a lot of just repetition yeah like with anything you do it enough you can do it yeah so and then like I think the ability to you know start to really do it as well as you can will can develop over to overtime you know yeah Haven one thing that Piven has is he's very entertaining like he will hold like you were he's very like he can tell a story he's a good storyteller so you get it you're in there with him you know Rapoport is extremely confident and loud and like you know see you go on these journeys with him he's really you know he's like six three or sake force you you know he's that larger-than-life person I see you go on these journeys with yeah so they have a lot of natural gifts that uh that'll definitely help them on the stage yeah it's it's an interesting phenomenon because I remember the opposite I remember no obviously when you start off no one knows you know you have no connection to anything do mentally handicapped people thought I was black when I said yeah I'm you you sent about these open mics right and you do it no one's laughs yeah knows you and then if you eat it you get off just no one consoles you because you don't know anybody oh dude there was a fire I went to one time there was a fire right it was that uh it was this place yes I'm probably Mexican restaurant or some some place you know or it could have been like some you know I don't know I've just so they had a [ __ ] fire and then the guys like well don't leave were the only people there he's like don't leave we'll do it you know right after the - yeah you know fire me once shame on you yeah yeah getting back up there after the fire ashes [ __ ] [ __ ] singers yeah good manager but I saw and people you can you can rip up and see all you want people do and I have my feelings about him you know I'm you know I she's done good things for me yeah he's behaved in three drinks for you here in weird way you wanna drink how are you this for me really yeah they're all for ya morning blitz dude yeah yeah hello do you want it very let's plan yeah that should be a drink yeah yeah oh the double iPads huh what happens that what happened oh you are so you're covered both eyes yeah but the Mencia dude Mencia was on stage at the Addison improv there's a brick wall right and I was in the late 90s I was his opener and some dude in the late what 1990s yeah in the 1999 is what 90s would have been 18 yep nineteen 1990s yeah yeah yeah I should save the nineteen part I don't know dude I just asked you for the 1990s what do you say when I ask okay all right let me start then my hands smell like poop no let me start yes awesome oh this like that game show driver and this is like that African game so do i coupon me the game shows in africa bro the second round you get you can get murdered gotta lose his arm know my story you know no no I want to hear more about it so 1990 late 1990s 1990s and some dude threw a [ __ ] bottle on stage right and yeah yeah any like and he dodged it right he did like a George Bush like he you know me shoot them yeah and then um it was a riot literally like just saw table attacking each table the ambulance comes right it cops come right now you're an hour and lights are on audience are still hanging out though people are taking like down you know witness reports I don't know how they do it you know man nobody should take people's word for it what happened somebody just tell you what happened you believe them yeah yeah before you could even that proved DNA yeah no CCTV no nothing and they just plant you know a lot of times back in the day these two plane just black people damn black I did it and they'll arrest the first one landed by I'm gonna kill it then also there was a lot of times real black I did it date but yeah they would pick up any black guy that kind of [ __ ] wasn't cool of course it's not it's unfathomable it's the next word kalila me one of the prettiest but also the worst superhero two dead eyes what smells I have no any way after the please Kate land and ambulance left miscarry Mencia said he's doing the show so everyone sat back down and he did an hour and a half but after like an hour of people I would have just said it show's over right yeah yeah but he didn't do it and he did it Wow you know so that's just one positive story out of a million negative stories about him you know he's always nice whenever I don't know he's always nice in a rush see him yeah he just got it yeah I mean he just had I guess he was taking material and that's what people said he was doing did you know that he was doing that was it that evident or were you into it you know I think I honestly I don't know that much about it at all I'm gonna tell you what it is and that was a lot of it but I think equally as bad was him bumping people back in the 90s so you know back you know when you you know did you want up this weekend right at the store or last week sometime yeah what time do you get spots about 9:45 10:00 right yeah I'm more like 11:00 11:00 so if he gives you an 11:00 hotspot right when you show up at the club you think you're gonna get up between 11:00 11:15 right yeah but back in the late 90s if you're an 11 o'clock spot it meant people didn't even show up Wow because they knew that they wouldn't be able to get up damn because they knew that Mencia or Eddie Griffin or some of these guys and they would do 3 or 4 hours on stage what yeah they let him go yeah they let him go and they did that every night and there was like Mitzi just let him go yeah like four or five of them it's very bizarre that she would let him do that I remember one time Rogan and I Eddie Griffin went up three hours and Logue and I were in the law and not the lobby but out on the patio and we're just sitting there and goes I'm gonna leave I mean I met you can't you think Joe Rogan what he is now you know men but they used to do to him Wow and um imagine all the people that Mencia bumped he bumped Whitney Cummings and everyone that's big now right everyone that's a regular now at the store was the people that he bumped for years a lot of the resentment and he the fuel here has no if you look to them but it also made them hate the man oh I see over the years so then imagine when the guy was down from from stealing jokes and then people came out of the woodwork and said yeah I mean he's an ass right oh yeah at that point yeah you got everybody wouldn't already be an [ __ ] that's why I think we're very lucky to be in this new Golden Age of The Comedy Store yes somebody was talking about being a golden age yesterday or have you watched Peter Pan probably followed that form did you watch any Disney movies during the Golden Age of Disney I'm talking about Little Mermaid you ever seen is it a rat I think it might be a rat really having you look brother yeah look it up bro sand dollar what's that guy's name sand dollar bill yes it was aardvark me Buffett right there that's good Ricky tickets have he's a real oh it's Richard crippling it was a rat fighting a snake [Music] oh he's the rib eye the right I'd rather be a snake yeah and you you're the one that's being devoured yeah how's that rats have nine lives you [ __ ] creep I'll be all what you want to say huh what you want to say crank but it didn't make any sense all right you know yeah oh did you this yeah chappie so just couple of glasses my girlfriend's connect my girl wants to ask you hitting each other have you seen the little world mermaid yes have you seen Aladdin yes have you seen Lion King yes Milan No okay let's fair three out of course not the ational Amistad yes I saw almost odd yes various Disney movies ever yeah yeah amazing don't roll yeah yeah yeah if you don't want to go no don't row um but that was a brutal movie yeah but she's giving me [ __ ] because I know the story tell me I'll tell you the story right now it's Cinderella Cinderella okay whoever's friend who are her friends Cinderella's Prince Cinderella had a lot of friends my pots oh no that's Beauty and the Beast that's chip chip let's see pot yeah yeah yeah she had animals the talk teapots also feel like every Asian rappers name but the story of Cinderella is Miss Cinderella was that she is missing a shoe yeah was you missing a shoe where is she yeah right yeah there was another offer enemies that The Witch Wicked Witch of the wheat weather or stepsisters good or evil stepsisters there's no Wicked Witch and they judged her know why that's know why well let's go to snow white then one of the dwarves Austin slam pee no another way skip see no zippy no sippie's an alcoholic Oh was one of them alcoholic why don't drink a lot one of them did drink a lot actually nearly the bubbles Opie Opie that's what I was meaning don't fear yeah that was the Asian person slant you know those chunky slanty signifi BuChE BuChE trappy yeah it's two doors stuck together it was a good one that's my favorite small dick you yeah great that's great that was a great version of that but do you think a lot of people's dick grows as they all right when do you think a guy's dick stops growing a bet probably in their 60s or 70s or 80s that's false you think can you look at it please um I did see a change when I dated a guy in high school his dick was much bigger when I saw him again years after Wow who's singing at 6:00 in a high school and I was this is why I have an iPod Filipino does a believe that if you see a dick you're not supposed to see you get a thigh really really yeah oh that's pretty cool who did you see baby Oh our dog oh thanks always out was it yeah what's wrong he doesn't have like a cap on it he has a cap on it it's just not a tight cap by the time you reach 18 or 19 years old your penis isn't likely to grow much longer or thicker [ __ ] bro I'm thinking about getting a dick reduction dang that's not even true music is a pig it's pretty it's definitely it's growing Wow it's because you haven't masturbated in like 90 days no he's grown before that it's fluid it's come juice I don't know what it is man but it better it better hear me now and get its act together yeah okay yeah I raise my voice yeah my dick has been like that's I guess that Justin's 1819 yeah max 1819 yeah but I never looked at my thing I went yeah there you go yeah all right I said hi and then you know mingkun the dick is so dumb I think you know it's you know whatever getting these pants and the whole idea of having sex and procreation your dick your dick is therefore it dictates so much of your [ __ ] life in decision-making yeah I almost wish that was just no an issue yeah male you dick to Africa dude that's what I would do feed a couple of starving families our feet are starving kick our two kids that are splitting up like a snack after a game yeah yeah it's nap that's one kid yeah it's like a bag of like oh you want to grind it down yeah grab my dick down yet dick tip yeah bob is dick nip yeah but you know what um a lot of times it's intrusive your penis yeah yeah and I've made you know why do you bike alone what are you doing better yeah I mean long you know Raya Raya yeah but you're always trying to impress somebody it's like [ __ ] man ya know then or you're getting like little things put near your dick to like take the attention away from your dick if your dick isn't like a good size or does it look like big cars you get like a like a big car tattooed on your thigh [ __ ] a big car yeah yeah next thing you know they're just have a small dick they're married to a small I was thinking about getting a tattoo of my on my dick of a bigger dick oh wow do you think that would work that'd be cool yeah you could do it I guess you'd have to I don't know how you would do it you need extra canvas Yeah right I don't have it yeah you gotta get you got a yeah but let me say this so is there like some sort of like like can I use CGI you use light music cuz things that are lighter look bigger yeah put your Tanner you look that's why you look like you have a pale dick yeah you could tan the area around your day and just light in the middle part that's true you don't even need a tan your dick you just can the surroundings it's just like my why my teeth are so white when I'm tan yeah oh yeah it's it's not cuz they're any whiter it's just cuz I'm tanner yeah my tickle just look whiter than bigger your teeth a little bigger when you smile when you have a tan why but they do look more engaging your dick look more engage that's what okay what's the reason why you you shave right yeah to give the appearance that there's more yeah yeah I [ __ ] yeah I have been shaving because it just feels you know like I can say hi oh yeah you look a lot better when you shave yeah yeah and most guys do you look less scary kids don't cry when they see like a baby will cry if you have a lot of hair in your face yeah whose biggest digger george'll brice whose biggest bigger biggest digger no honestly well I'm gonna say this so George's asteroid a mullet coming in have you have you seen George penis has he seen yours you've seen George's penis I've seen right his penis yeah oh yeah I have - I've never seen his let me I see something I'd be honest both of you who has a bigger dick no it's flaccid then who has a bigger flat yeah that's true that's me there really is a difference really oh really I can tell that guy's got a real ha Duraflame yeah we've seen it sticking his dick is big your dick is okay because I'm on you dick is definitely bigger than mine but I think that Bryce probably has a bigger day Bryce seems like a guy who definitely brings a big dick - like a knife fight you know no knife and that's crazy - dude you should get your act together yeah you definitely seem like someone that could be like a Ted Bundy but an athletic one you go to play center you could have played Center hunt Ted Bundy's basketball team this guy's very tall you guys can't see him the guy with the big one of George's family members who knows how big each other's dicks are he's a very tall guy and he you seem like a nice guy man I'm just trying to give you I'm kind of giving you hard time today I love Lee gets meaning that he's very polite southern hospitality some people know if someone if you're joking you know I don't know if you're joking unless you remind yourself yourself sometimes you know yeah I'm not sensitive in that way I mean people rip on me all the time go [ __ ] yeah right you're like that - you're right dude you yeah there's something about you when you see you have to make fun of you yeah you know it's so funny people do it all the time yeah everyone does but now I think you it also seem like you want it though it's like you kind of let you bring it on you know you want that you want to be kind of yeah because it doesn't you know growing up you know as a kid and people used to call me like you know chopsticks or whatever yeah sticky chopsticks woman is thinking oh yeah or like there we go or they would Kim's you know make fun of me and I used to come home a good dad they make fun of me and he wouldn't give a [ __ ] yeah so you're in America yeah yep educate you know I'm the whole thing right yeah and then over the years you have to figure out a way to survive because you can't live like that as a victim Yeah right so then I you once you accept the fact right and you grow a little skin and then you fight back with the words right then you're able exist in the world I think and that's what I'm like at the comedy club clubs in New York it's the same thing to when I do radio like with back in the day when I used to Norton patrice all those guys I'd be in a room with greg Giraldo all those guys yeah and they would rip me a [ __ ] are me baby arms little bit I did the whole [ __ ] right it's got my baby arms all right fire boy yeah fire boy right and the first time I did it with them I was so sensitive about it Wow but the next year I went back armed to the teeth yeah and then they respected me and then you know so yeah people make funny but it's not they can't get to me that's what they can do it yeah you see another fatty Asian yeah you can't go up to him come ching chong yes sure right they'll get mad right they get upset and they don't how to handle it you know how to handle it nope but I also you know I don't let strangers do it no like when if I'm on stage I get off in an onion cement and thinks he can talk to me that way I was got dude no yeah right I don't know you yeah I mean stop call me like you know nuprin or whatever you want to call me a lot of people feeling too familiar with you yes sometimes I get what gets me that I that bugs me don't like real drunk people come in and talking to me yeah because it just makes me feel uncomfortable they're not gonna remember it it feels false it doesn't feel fake I feel like they have some desire to engage in a chat and whatever you look you know but if somebody's drunk it just makes me feel like I don't know I don't like it yeah he found calling me no wise enter also the big big white dudes get aggressive with me yeah like all I can see that they come up from behind me and they'll grab me by the neck and pick me I'm not kidding here oh yeah and that's why a lot of times you know you know you know I want to go out listen Tiger belly Fram fans the nights I go out to see the audience is usually guaranteed the last show which is Sunday or a Thursday mm-hmm if I'm doing one show I will go out and I'll take a photo with every single person that's there right but the first shows on during the week I don't do it because I don't want to cross mingle between the people leaving the show yeah and the people entering yeah sometimes you know you're taking photos after between shows and then people from the second show will come and and then you have to do double the work yeah right and then you do it the second show and then the same people they bombarded the first so they come back you know it's just - now they're drunk now they want a picture and they want a drawing of you they have to stand there yeah holding a wine four of them draw a picture oh yeah it's definitely it's crazy man because I used to do a meeting being after every show or just like you know stand meet with everyone after the shows and then I just started I just started to get like exhaust Silas couldn't mentally even handle it and so yeah now I have to do yeah almost like every other show it's a it's also a weird thing do you ever think this is and I think this all the time I'm about to go up on stage and you know the room is sold out or whatever so there's hundreds of people know they paid right hmm and the reality sinks into my head and I go what the [ __ ] like I don't feel what they I'm supposed to feel be by being up there I don't feel like a headliner I don't feel you know you just kind of go wow this is almost overwhelming do you ever feel that way yeah I mean it's obviously think about what you're actually doing right right like I'm gonna go up there yeah I feel like it becomes this sort of job it's just like you know how to do it it's like clocking in for work a lot of times yeah you know how to do it sure it's engaging but it's like it's almost this alter ego that kind of takes can you know takes on and then you're able to engage more as like a human whenever you get done with doing the job it almost feels like two separate things a lot of that's an interesting when I get done I'm like glad it's over because like it's fun and I'm glad I'm able to help you know be a part of people laughing yeah but it's also like you know it's just a lot of it's just a lot sometimes and I'm just guys just feel like glad that it's over I never want to be up there for like those guys that step there for hours that's a scary insane it's [ __ ] insane and then people think what is it like you then you're in a Rite Aid you might after the sugar on the road oh yeah right yeah just going through a Rite Aid yeah right you know and I used to make shapes I would get like extra pillows and stuff from the lady that works at the motel and the sheets and the extra sheets and make like shapes of women and [Laughter] really yeah not all the time yeah yeah I always had some good show yeah you know and if I can celebrate for nothing I wouldn't that kind of creep you know I'm not just [ __ ] you know molest I'm not just molest in a laundry bag just for I'm only [ __ ] but you know I'm putting a lady together yeah yeah my dad owned the clothing store at one time he yelled at my brother and I and said because we sew stored like broken mannequins in a storage room those are the new ones there too and one day might not go how come to the [ __ ] down there like somebody put a hole in a mannequin oh yeah yeah somebody's [ __ ] mannequin they used to do that they film it we were like I was like I didn't do it but I did it you know yeah yeah very small hole maybe aunt have been getting in here maybe aunt or one wasp getting into this mannequin is that an asian accent [ __ ] me sure what's your name actually poppy and then it's Bobby in English no what is it puppy real name is how many know how many little newborn dogs come when people call you like a puppy like a puppy my name is solo is it really oh it's beautiful do you think so yes Armel someone and my brother's name is kwang-ho oh yeah I know that's why his name is Quan go on on Instagram yeah on Instagram because that's his Korean name and I'm so cool you know and someone means success I think that's what is Google mean I don't know rash yeah I can see that yeah yeah yeah I go over there somebody said they were doing a blood drop form you don't need blood does he somebody says thought oh maybe I misread some yeah he doesn't know good good good yeah you have siblings too though how come we never met him they're gonna my brother's gonna come out here this year for you know Disney World yeah how the children oh they're young he's 38 he's an adult yeah but is he like you what is he like no he's kind of he's like goofy I mean he would think it was funny you know being like in this kind of universe I think but he's like uh he's kind of goofy but he likes you know I don't know he's like a smart guy I know but when he comes yes when he comes into town oh yeah will you bring him to the Comedy Store oh yeah I'll probably bring him in The Comedy Store right will you let me know that he is so I can show up oh yeah I'll bring him yeah I love you does he look like you yep it looks like me a little bit his name is f ze f f is f von von Kahr natal ski you guys a good name but that's your last name yeah I don't know your last be your last names Croskey yeah what is that Justin polish Nicaraguan yeah isn't Vaughn isn't it Dutch honey who knows you know somebody [ __ ] on a boat I don't know how it all happened I'll be honest with you yeah I'm no land animal I know that yeah I'm curious about your dad cuz I know we both have old dads yeah there was a I met a man let's sign at a meeting seventy years old your dad was right yep nineteen ten my dad came here in 1922 he came to America from Nicaragua they was mahogany farmers it was over there doing mahogany ah he must have been a handsome man he's pretty handsome you know he hit look too low he was you know he was starting to fall off the bone a little yeah but to be but to be 70 and your mom was cute like she was young yeah my own was an 8 was a rule 9 a rule yeah la 7 yeah I would say y'all a 7 yeah and she was young right she was what 20 30 32 when I was born he was 70 yep 38 year different Wow you beat me I thought I my parents had the biggest age gap because my parents were 36 years apart wow really yeah Wow oh you're real bad my real dad yeah not Roger Roger ROG is not real yeah [ __ ] handsome bro you think so I think so don't you Roger was actually really cute when he was younger yeah I got to see photos because to me I just see the surprise no I honestly because when I see him I just see an old white dude oh man you gotta look deeper than that dude I don't go behind the eye surface like I know that he's a draft dodger that's all I know oh is he really I told you that oh yeah I could see that oh he's an active acute hippie oh yeah he wanted a party instead of fight yeah some people want a gun and some people wanted the pipe that's what I heard anyway it was like the Dodgers really wanted a party you and I you're a pop guy or fight guy back then huh I'd probably load my gun with a couple grams and just shoot him right at my [ __ ] nose Bubba somewhere in the middle yeah whenever I see like movies on Woodstock or anything like that I just know I would died yeah just the way I did it even without like outside I did it in a different era yeah drugs and alcohol and I did it so hard that I could I'd probably be just be dead underneath Jim Morrison's dead body in a bathtub you know and there was an Asian guy I don't know man he was just there on a bike you're trying to sell a bicycle yeah yeah what a [ __ ] crazy guy yeah I would at that era I would have been just [ __ ] a load else with the kind of pure drugs that they had back then like I'm pretty sure my main that the weed the weed is probably stronger now oh yeah we had that Brown frown that's all we smile right right Brown that new yeah but back then they had drugs that the PCP I mean there's drugs that yeah yeah crazy oh they have PCP a all kind of [ __ ] angel doesn't even know what that's where you get that PVC their people's [ __ ] smoking you know long pieces of plastic PVC yeah when I was in high school we'd [ __ ] burn anything it would [ __ ] burn and burn in a pipe in [ __ ] smoke if you could I mean I mean in a different lifetime if there was a drug that you could try and one of the newer ones like Flocka or spice will you try it crack I would do crack oh yeah I never got to smoke crack and I feel like I wish I would have yeah I see how one could probably want to get into yeah dude my [ __ ] was always hiding behind something yeah there was no wood nothing to run on [ __ ] go yeah I think I could see us too in a burnout building like doing that it's way too much for me yeah what do you need your buddy but if he has a [ __ ] directions to somewhere you got a couple [ __ ] you know you come on you [ __ ] ate half of your buddy yeah and you're thinking I can't get to Baker I'm never gonna be able to find my iPod yeah cuz [ __ ] Lawrence knew where it was yeah and now he bled out you know cuz he can't stand to somebody eating half of his [ __ ] arm yeah but you how much sobriety do you have now I got probably two and a half years I just drank this thing whatever but two and a half years ago you could dad crack back then I know I just forgot to smoke him for you alright yeah yeah there's a lot of that that's funny because I had a two-year window when I relapsed mm-hmm and that could have done anything I wanted but ironically I didn't go to the ones I desired during the 12 years had sober like LSD mushrooms I never did any of those I did a couple of times um ecstasy mm-hmm and then I just drank and smoked pot and that's it was it fun when you went out you know in the beach no well no I took vicodin too so I did you know 60 vicodins a day but um so that's what drove me down but um fun remember I do remember I'm telling right now I have a [ __ ] computer I have a computer that doesn't work oh wow and I want to go to a shop to get it fixed because I have videos I know they're on there of me [ __ ] chicks no no of these that's illegal of the out of my mind I remember when the technology came out with cameras and stuff I remember taping myself doing drugs and and I also taped myself during my vicodin withdrawal so I remember on-screen crying telling myself like The Bodyguard something the end of The Bodyguard in the movie met the show so good this is so good so good about Whitney Houston no you watch Game of Thrones it's the guy who plays Robb Stark it's about a guy coming back from the from Afghanistan yes PTSD and now he has to be the the private bodyguard to a high high ranking politician who has opposing views as him how they steal the name of the shop bodyguard is when Kevin Costner jumps in front of a bull Whitney Houston doesn't get hit by it even though years later she doesn't punch she overdoses in a bat not there oh yeah where was he then yeah where was he then but did you don't watch Game of Thrones no I don't watch that kind of stuff would it be in just people fighting in the past and all of it wait I'm more like it's a historical document about the past is something that really happen no it's not yes I don't want no it's not that kind of stuff bro my gosh maybe I'll read up on it a little bit no no look at me no no I know when you know dude I'm tired dude we're I'm tired too man what time is it I know I know the arms hurt too no no no you're gonna do a couple more minutes yeah I am are you gonna do a couple more minutes while i grill you okay go away dude oh well then or I am I'm tired of your [ __ ] wake up with the king let's do it's [ __ ] making burgers over here you liked you know what you'd like to do you like to distract me I do yes I do work games done no I dunno yeah you do technique don't do that again either this away from you thank you much morning blitz morning blitz bro yeah it's starting to [ __ ] hell of an afternoon in my ass what I'm saying is daylight [ __ ] savings time in my [ __ ] yeah but you know you look nice tonight know what I'm saying to you is this okay this is this okay is that what I say that a lot right yeah I'm sorry don't be apologize it's not a bad thing all right is it's a great show I think you'd really like it it's like I in terms of pop culture I think there's not a better show out there what Tiger belly no I mean Game of Thrones oh yeah I haven't seen it I know you have it what are you doing I don't know I'm not gonna let him do it he's on the ground huh yeah no you're doing offense mechanisms that you do oh right and then you try to divert me and I go yeah okay I guess it's like Jedi Mind [ __ ] I'm Jabba it doesn't work with me so you're [ __ ] [ __ ] I didn't do it you're breakable you watch it yeah Oh what are these prescription pills on the table it's [ __ ] for my a panic attack yeah well I'm on with the stroke out back off the tee what is that drug that they're always putting in Asian people's food yeah they're [ __ ] putting speakers in your car sipping on soy sauce do back off I'm gonna scale back on the soy sauce okay we're getting somewhere all right but I listen right you gave me a suggestion I listen yeah I'm sorry no don't apologize cuz there's nothing to apologize for all right you're gonna watch Game of Thrones okay I'll watch it every episode oh yeah nah yes okay oh yeah yeah yeah you said okay and that's a problem how many episodes are there seven seasons seasons ten seasons in episode ten episodes and what's it about it's about I got [ __ ] [ __ ] to do man no no you're gonna do it I'll watch some of it we have some questions Gil yes no Gilbert what are these things some questions from a patreon thank you guys for having me tonight - I got your mind your favorite go ahead this one is from our patreon listener Mike Lucy are you a standing or sitting wiper for everyone in the room that's a craziest question I've ever I've met some IVA standing why people stand to Wyatt yeah I don't even know that's how [ __ ] I don't remember people in the show what about it the last thing I know I get so it's like breathing how do you breathe I don't know I just do it interesting yeah right I don't know if I go forward you gotta go forward lean like this and you got a proper bot up and you go from front to back you never go back to front and I know that sometimes you have in the past goes yeah yeah yeah no I go back to front usually yeah yeah yeah because I want my - anything I want my nuts to look like a zebra nuts oh yeah I pattern you want that uh yeah what's that herringbone yeah no I you know what no this is what I do when I wipe I do this it's my favorite she knows nice when I poop I put the faucet on a little bit oh yeah that's an old try a little bit and the reason why I do that is because in my bathroom over here I take toilet paper and I reach over I wet it a little bit and then I go calm your ass yes I call me okay yeah yeah little warm water and I go from front front to back really yeah yeah I don't see you doing that yeah yeah I do and I put my cheeks a little bit and I try to get in there and you know what else I do and I swear to God I do this it's very much just like the learn is like QVC alright and yeah like ever buy a watch I keep it toilet paper after like the second one and then make a little like or that you like a little origami thing of what Rosie O'Donnell Rosie a little bit how do you know but and I I wet it and I I go inside the in turn will enter that like the little two part yeah give me the next question it's crazy this is from patron Demonte ward where everyone in the room has becoming successful influence who you are in a positive or a negative way what is the question again Devante Demonte Demonte is that her okay ward for everyone in the room who has becoming success it's it's like this I used to work at arrest Sears no one's gonna get a restaurant called the Brockton bill very sad I know and I would go ten minutes before my shift mhm I'd go on and say hi to the manager you know hug some of the Busboys yeah I know now but backup what's up dude you know man and then someone will tell me like what section man I mean or whatnot right oh yeah and you have this these people you work with it's the same thing in comedy right you go to the comedy club you see Eric Griffin I'll slap his ass I'll go over to Thea what's up dude you know me and do that whole thing to me I I haven't changed it doesn't feel like so you feel like it's affected you positively only I don't think it's a positive negative I just think that I'm just living a life and but but at the same time you know if I'm at a restaurant I don't feel differently at a restaurant I don't think so no net gain I don't think there was anything that gives you what's wrong good nothing I don't know I'm thinking like I mean I think it's just a little bit you know I guess it's kind of spooky you know like in some ways if what is the question again he's ground to get me I know you're doing his thing that's okay I cannot remember the question you would do it again Devante war where everyone do through which is inane that someone obviously made up before I got has becoming successful influenced you who you are in a positive or negative way if so how it's a good question to montt a demon for short well thanks for the question Demonte what I'm saying is this I don't know man I think it's very scary I think you know being successful can be very scary because I think that like your ego can be very scary you know yeah so that for me is like very it's really really spooky and so for me I you know I feel like it's just a little bit scary you know it's like okay well if I'm getting more successful like you know you just I don't know it seems like a sometimes a lot of pressure but also you know sometimes I feel confident about it like I want to you know go achieve my dreams or whatever my goals are and other times I feel like scared about it so I think some of that's normal but that's kind of what I think about it I think it's a bigger change when you see guys that start and then they shoot up quickly yeah because for me I've always been at this light level of kind of a kind of people know who I am yeah so I've been like this for 20 years since mad right so no I was on a show that's when when it first started it was cool I'd go to this West Covina Bob said this before just to get recognized oh yeah yeah yeah and it felt good but it never went above that level right it's always been and then there was times a couple years there when I didn't work that much and it died down and then you have to accept that I didn't know it's kind of getting back to you know the level that I'm was used to which is very polite people everyone so I the other day we're driving some guy took a photo yeah weird things like that gay men yeah gay men yeah but yeah I don't think so not for me you know I think you're you haven't changed yeah I feel more stressed now but I think most that's just more work you know gonna used to be able to not having to really think about that much work and just have to not think about that much and I got more stuff to think about mm-hmm and so it's exciting but it's also it's kind of stressful hmm but some of its transition period and you know so I have to recognize that and just be patient with myself and we'll take one more from an email from Paulo Oh Paulo from Brazil Maya who was who was the weirdest kid you remember from your childhood and what did they do that made them weird the weird escape from my childhood oh dude I'll tell you who it was bro why you know I am when you said that question I thought to myself I don't didn't know anybody mm-hmm which made me the weird kid mm-hmm like I was the one people thought was weird I remember in an in in middle school not even in elementary school I lived in Minnesota and the kids used to say throw not snowballs at my head but ice rocks oh wow and they just used to as hard as it can just throw it at my [ __ ] hat why you collected him or something I don't know one collects ice rocks right okay what do you mean you'll remain [ __ ] my bad man I had an icicle collection at my heart there you say you were the weird guy I guess do you collect and people were like no dude no these two do it violently I'm sorry man I would never do that to you dude if you were my friend I know you wouldn't I probably would have put you in like one of those little wagons you know there's red wagons yeah I know the right way it's a Chinese buddy on the side of it and I were to hook you to my bike dude yeah you all around town oh that's nice like you you have a rickshaw for me Yeah right yeah and then I just got 10 years yeah all right that's great or bow it people and stuff people through you be three chocolates yeah you Tamra right like I'm a deity oh yeah yeah that's really not we go on a big chocolate ride everyday you know sweet people come out and wish you well and give you baked goods yeah and if you like them and everything they're gonna have good luck and if you don't like them it's not gonna get too well for them yeah so it's all up to you yeah it's up to me chocolate rider who was the kid at your who do we have we had this dude named Brian Brian Purvis at first wig I ever you know and they don't have him anymore they have a couple left I think outside of maybe Cincinnati but he was like the first white kid that ever wanted to be black and they'd never seen it before and they put him in a mentally handicapped classes because they thought he's mentally handed mentally challenged is that what they used to do with wiggers uh yeah yeah well they didn't know they'd never seen it before yeah they put him in there Wow cuz they had people that were really you know people that were just you know didn't know what was going on we have people blind people that were you know freebase victims all kind of stuff like that yeah you just had Brian's curvatures dribbling an invisible basketball just wearing a [ __ ] Charlotte Hornets pullover starter pullover eight packs and just [ __ ] you know blow him in a [ __ ] yelling at people like oh man we don't know what he has his Brian still an institution was out no he's got somebody sent me a picture the other day I think he's in prison somewhere is in jail or in or out of jail but yeah I wish him well he's a nice kid he still looks the same at nice highs I remember that he had pretty eyes for a young fella that had a rare disease you know yeah yeah but he was one of the wildest locally yeah people didn't know what was going on we don't know you know yes science doesn't know yeah and he was just you know nothing was wrong he was just you know he bought Shaquille O'Neal's wrap out and he just watched Space Jam all the time yeah and he listened to boys to men he would just wake it up I had a friend named Brady mmm-hmm he was the neighborhood kid and with one hand he could pull a stop sign out of the ground wash he has like a subhuman strength right and then but he was also kind of [ __ ] like you would ask him a question he wouldn't even know what you're saying oh yeah yeah like how how are you and you go and you just pull it out of the ground right yeah I remember I used to use him to break into houses oh gee Wow because he was to get marijuana oh wow I would break into people's houses to healer of mice and marijuana that's a funny movie yeah let's make that movie to crowdfund yeah did we making [ __ ] dude we're barely gonna party to this episode no we're long you seem that you're tired and you know what you're gonna finish it okay I will I'm with you Theo I'm yeah you seem kind of tired in another you're ill and so I don't want to waste too much your time yeah um it's like Downton Abbey I gotta be up at 5:00 in the mine do you for what Hawaii you don't know why yeah are you being on a space movie yeah are you really yeah you just send me a village today did they offer you something no he said that they he tried to get me a spot in it all that what they didn't on dude you're gonna be in a congrats just one scene I'm a hotel clerk huh hotel clerk yeah well honestly um let's talk about David Spade for a second is um give me a hat he is honesty that dude that dude let's be honest dude that dude is it me or is he truly one of the nicest people you'll meet nice man I honestly like as soon as I was introduced to him in like you know equal footing like I didn't meet him you know at SNL I met him since he was came to the Comedy Store yeah and dude he's only just been so [ __ ] nice and helpful yeah and a kind guy not cool yeah he's nice he's friendly he is yeah he'd love to just laugh he liked that fun he likes his Instagram stories really funny till he was a bachelor yeah yeah and he invited me every other watch The Bachelor one time over there yeah yeah it was very fun was just me sitting on the couch and him sitting behind me in a chair The Bachelor do I fell it's weird Hollywood [ __ ] like that to like one time I know Russell Brand a little bit mm-hmm and he goes hello come over with you and Steven we'll do some meditation and they had one of those big Yogi's right and I was like never met it I don't know I don't do yoga or meditate but there was candles I was in a room with Russell and Stevo and me and we're like and some ball to the lady Russell Russell Brown Russell Brand Oh Russell Brand I think you're talking about that Russell Brown dude no Russell Brice [ __ ] is Russell Brown just got them with this rival High School in our town they used to put some say play halfback er yeah running bad yeah like how the [ __ ] you know Russell Brown but then I [ __ ] see dozen worlds don't fit together yeah yeah but you know in your head even listen to me in your [ __ ] head yeah even if you heard Russell Brown right normal people got there's no way so they would cut that out and they go he's probably thinking of a Russell Brand that's what I'm saying right but in your [ __ ] up head you went they know each other sleepy ass Kingdom bro come over here your wife [ __ ] half awake one of her eyes she's still sleeping in half of her head getting rest got this guy to [ __ ] face it a deal this [ __ ] blood donor over here propping the rest of you guys notice dudes [ __ ] getting HDHP you got big whites over here holding the [ __ ] dicks down I get it going on I know I have a [ __ ] Dark Kingdom but I always say something right now dude think think for once in your life okay alright that's all I want you to do to look at me right now man yeah I'm thinking right now I'm a fan of yours no guy rolls laughs I think you've had too many [ __ ] net ah dude nachos but dude this brand right here can we get sponsored by Ben Ben Ben fields no this is the best whoa I go to the store just get these right made out of rice and beans and chips sir rice and beans bro yeah well I like chips are made out of damn chips bro yeah I'm like somebody bait-and-switch oh it's nachos guess what's it [ __ ] rice and beans [ __ ] you bruh yeah you know I want the real [ __ ] so anyway this week when does this come out next week Oh next week [ __ ] well Houston didn't sell out but I will tell you guys what's the week after ah the week after is March 6th 7th and March 7th I'm at the I'm in Boston and I'm in Medford actually at the cheval your theater and then March 8th I'm in at the Wilbur and Borgata on the night what Wilbur theater in Boston yeah I think that once you did and then San Jose March 21st 22nd and 23rd that's a good room too I'm excited I'm killing it you know does San Jose oh my god you're gonna kill it you're gonna love it they're so much fun it's a great hotel it's a great [ __ ] comic like I've been doing over there for 20 years out [ __ ] place Wow it's the best in you're gonna love it Wow there's an English stir that runs it an English student dude English dude that's another thing British man stop I said English dude right you heard student you should have crossed that on your head dude he didn't say that how we said dude you'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt but I'll say this man I love tired my favorite really yeah yeah I'm thinking about [ __ ] violence with cigarettes man you feel me oh yeah you're only on day two you need to get home we need to get this yeah where they are anyway um so he's gonna be in those dates Boston all that stuff he's gonna be San Jose Australia I'm going to make it may Australia you sold a bunch of tickets already thank you for having me I want to thank you for having us on your program luck yeah it's really nice everybody really enjoyed it did they really yes worried that we were a little too you're tired you're sleepy that day - yeah I was a little worried when I left no I thought that you guys were fun and was just nice to hang out yeah the thing is sometimes I felt like the last time I was over here I was kind of tired and I wasn't you know it's kind of out of it so it's just like you never really know you know I was telling kalila I know we're gonna end but uh you know this week alone I did nine podcast away like just do guesting on other people's a hours I'm you're talking for hours at a time and then you don't know what stories you told you don't know you know I did dr. Drew and then we did yours and I did then I did we did burn Jo button zeros just a punt right and you just constantly doing it it's a lot it's a lot man we didn't want earlier today yeah so you're just constantly [ __ ] talking I think I mean I'm gonna go to Hawaii and I'm doing two weeks and for the Philippines just to have my oh you're going to family I need the brain I need to break and will you see some of your family over there yeah and they come to they come to their friend they're like yeah yeah because the last time I was in the island dude they did a little dance for me so that was nice dance for you it's a dance for everyone no they did it wasn't [ __ ] yeah anyway give the overall a round of applause over but we have one final question from the slep Kingdom they want to know does the Rat King if you had a choice between siding with D'Elia or with the slept King in an all-out battle who its side do you take well it's kind of the choices I feel like taking off the table for me because I know that Bobby's already chosen a side with Chris so it kind of leaves me out in the ether a little bit no it doesn't because I only did that so I can get you to decide with me that's a reverse side ecology in this and it does not how it works it doesn't work that way okay so let me think about this who would I side with but oat but before you make the decision right pleading his case before you make a decision you think this all right Chris right who's in his entourage think about that me the people that are in my kingdom know very loyal to me are they yeah who are they these people Georgian is [ __ ] cousin with a big [ __ ] yeah right so Bryce is at Rice yeah the divisions here there is no Shakespearean divisions here man there's no backstab well who does Chris have he has those dogs that the lady brings over just for I have allies well we already talked about how tiger belly split cuz you pledged your allegiance to Chris and I pledged my allegiance to Theo it's true my family loves you oh well they were very sweet a lot of people's family oh one last thing about that too dude last one less thing about that alright is I I get it right that your you have a Comedy Central show that you're gonna do right you guys help me out I understand that but but I was taught I was yelling at mo mandel they're they're good right now I was saying will we get the internet version when that becomes a show you're gonna rewrite something oh yes something better for the kingdom it helps if we were on network TV is better than Internet the reason that my dad my stepdad no completely different thing without your stepdad okay cool cuz that was just a nice [ __ ] Roger it was a nice keepsake yeah well yeah I thought you guys did a good job you know we have the duck cuz I want to say this oh [ __ ] so fast no I do your blood pressure is gonna go up gonna spill I take a pill I know we're stopping right here this is the last thing okay I swear to God his own I want to say this to you yeah this is that I promise you this if I had my own show mm-hmm you would be on it yeah I believe that come on everyone praise God and the jury's still out on where who where the rat kingdom lives brother see you guys next time thank you guys nice again to our sponsors Ridge wallet and check out our tiger belly pop to get 10% off your slim sleek futuristic front we're uh front carry wallet go to Ridgeway comm use the promo code belly if you want to support your favorite podcast and get extra Spanish - Oh bonus episodes don't miss out go to patreon.com/scishow [Music] [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 2,409,977

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, khalyla, gilbert galon, podcast, khalyla kuhn, tgrbly, all things comedy, theo von, king and the sting, brendan schaub, tfatk, the fighter and the kid, bryan callen, theo von joe rogan, stand up, #1225, joe rogan experience, joe rogan, clips, disney, movies, review, rat king, kats, below the belt, bee sting, chris d'elia, this past weekend

Id: zwCbl7qlzI4

Length: 86min 38sec (5198 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 28 2019