r/Wokekids | tHeYrE ToXiC

overheard at target little boy daddy are you getting valentine's candy for jessica too father of boy no why would i get candy for your babysitter you kiss her just like you kiss mommy how's it going ladies and gents welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at r slash woke kids you know a bunch of incredibly smart kids not at all their parents posting or saying things on their behalf okay let's get to it just my two-year-old getting packed at the greta thundberg rally right now his sign says less of a baby than boris i bet he's a genius the hell you taking your two-year-olds to rallies for my four-year-old is still awake i'm sitting here in a zone feeling pretty down she has no idea what's going on but she just brought my bernie rally sign to me and said feel the burn sure she did susie i'm guessing that's your name sure she did we went to the planetarium today and when the voiceover said this is the earth one of the kids booed what i mean don't get me wrong i totally agree with the sentiment but why in the world would that ever happen my 11 year old just nearly had a heart attack when he saw the exit polls in iowa saying healthcare was the number one issue not climate change he moans it's like the house is on fire and all people care about is doing renovations sure chris he totally said that your 11 year old's definitely not talking about seeing sonic he's totally talking about climate change my four-year-old son asked why i was crying and i told him i was sad about the death of our democracy he looked up at me with his young hope-filled eyes and said this is why mom is cheating on you you absolute goddamn loser that's right robbie come on grow up my favorite part of my husband working from home is that our six-year-old critiques all of his conference calls i think you should say don't get me wrong instead of let me be clear next time daddy it just sounds better joe exclaims christopher columbus in little women my 11 year old not whispers in the theater he was a murderer your 11 year old not whispered do you mean yelled so proud of my youngest she was in line for lunch at school today it was french toast sticks and sausage the boy in front of her said no to the sausage and she called him a communist she's in kindergarten hashtag proud parent that doesn't make any goddamn sense i just don't like bacon die communist scum tickled my five-year-old to the point she couldn't talk from cackling so much from just out of sight a blur flies by as my two-year-old tackles me at full speed pulling me off her sister stop mama you gotta stop she can't say no sisters stick together and consent matters one of my six-year-olds started crying today and when i asked why she said i don't want to grow up because i can't bake i can only make cereal and furniture is expensive literally me stop lying on your kids lol i hate when i see posts like junior saw me crying and said fret not mother for we shall prevail in these trying times word your dumbass son ain't say that thank you god my child just said freaking fascists and he's too so some failures and some victories over here when my daughter was three she told my dad you need to be a democrat like the rest of the family he said what's a democrat she said no guns you can go to the doctor when you're sick and know donald trump never been more proud i asked my son what he wanted to be for halloween and he said dad i don't want to be spider-man i want to be nipsy hustle and celebrate his life instead of mine couldn't believe that came out of his mouth he didn't say this when you realize that your kid will make a difference in the world not by trying to lift up a statue that's secured to the ground son number two daddy what's the difference between white eggs and brown eggs me no difference really they're the same on the inside oh just like people look i can tell you right now i'm very different to most people on the inside because my insides are full of snips and snails and puppy dog tails my son told my husband today he's going to work out meditate and eat healthy so he can control his emotions lol he's 4 d 40. my three-year-old son just said mommy why don't people just stay inside instead of going out and possibly infecting others she's only five my son just unwrapped this for christmas eve and said wait why is there only one girl in this whole set brb wiping a feminist tear your son unwrapped it for christmas eve nine-year-old the universe created people people created god we are made of stardust and when we die we're dust again that will create more universes and it just goes on forever me is that a question god it's really early for such a big question no i think i got it my president thinks that i'm strong and can change the world the president-elect thinks i am sexy and i can be grabbed not my president oh some parents are so awful and gross actually if the current state of the millennials and gen z is of any indication i think most parents are awful told my three-year-old we needed to pick up dinner for her dad and she said daddy's a grown man he can cook his own food my work here is done wow screwed doing nice things for dad i guess my youngest hacked our netflix parental code she put light grease on the remote and got me to input the code when she wasn't looking then she noted the numbers i pressed and went through the combinations later i'm both frightened and impressed that's not hacking that's just surveillance hacking would have been installing software or grabbing the code from the tv computer or whatever device uses netflix thank you tyler want to see jumanji yes but i want to help the homeless well let's come up with a plan baby girl what do you have in mind wow my kid just stopped me in my tracks wow my daughter who is eight years old when she heard that the vice president had picked kamala harris her eyes got big chris and said my goodness she's south asian and jamaican that means anything is possible for a woman and this is my daughter who is eight years old yeah you already told us that part kindergartners for trump oh look even more terrible parents yikes just another sunday he insisted on wearing his new flag pin just like the president and his new maga hat he is the future of this country and i'll be damned if i'm gonna stop him from showing his support for his favorite modern president my two-month-old i can't sleep daddy i'm afraid of frankenstein me don't you mean frankenstein's monster my three-month-old i do not personally i find unethical and irresponsible scientific practice far more terrifying than any physical being and so should you warning as my daughter laughed at trump's speech she turns and asks how is this idiot president so began our lessons on demagoguery populism nationalism etc a week later i got a call from daycare saying she started a protest over inadequate napping areas she's three are your lives really this boring really i can't imagine having such a sad life that i have to use my children for clicks cringe-worthy bastards you're fully grown adults with children exploding unicorn okay me who ate all the cookies five-year-old ninjas i didn't see them no one ever does checkmate so far i think that's the only believable one this morning i told the 10 year old about a media thing i'm doing with some other founders her first two questions how many are women how many are people of color this kid gives me hope for the next generation every single day yeah i bet watching election coverage six-year-old son who are they those people are who want to be president so what does the president do well first of all never mind can i have fruit snacks and this is how a real conversation about politics with a child goes my son just said to me if everyone ate five bites less of food each day we could feed so many hungry people he's only four but already realizes how much food is wasted in the world well my four-year-old just dumped an entire bottle of ketchup on a steak he might not be as woke as your kid but guess who's more likely to be president i was eating breakfast with my 10 year old granddaughter and i asked her what day is tomorrow without skipping a beat she said it's president's day she's smart so i asked her what does president's day mean i was waiting for something about obama bush or clinton etc she replied president's day is when the president steps out of the white house and if he sees his shadow we have another year of [ __ ] you know it hurts when coffee spurts at your nose three-year-old i need you to fix this me listen i got my own problems you fix it listen you got my problems and your problems actually that's very accurate give me your toy i'll fix it that kid is right as a parent how do you tell your child black panther died my son asked if it was because of his race broke my heart again i asked my nephew if he wanted the ps5 and he said no my we works just fine go invest in a stock i'm raising a king my seven-year-old is doing a math worksheet and it's telling him that the eraser 37 cents costs more than the pencil 18 cents and he is outraged if you're poor and you can't afford the eraser you can't correct your mistakes but if you're rich you can erase all your mistakes well yeah but see erasers don't actually erase very much you know what i mean it's not going to erase a murder i committed there are so many other worlds sometimes when you hold special rocks you can hear them rainbow wolf age six wait her name is what my two-year-old son just asked me father if santa's real why didn't he dedicate his factory to the war effort and produce ammunitions during the shell crisis of 1915 unbelievable my 18 month old came up to me this morning and asked mom why are people spending their time in quarantine not learning a new skill trying to create new sources of revenue or trying to acquire an llc let that sink in okay singing to my five-year-old twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are her stop it's a ball of gas science stop pretending you don't know what it is jesus kid i was just singing a goddamn song two weeks ago i told kids at school to write an essay titled if i were a millionaire everyone was writing except a girl who leaned back with arms folded what's the matter i asked why aren't you writing i'm waiting for my secretary she replied scored her 10 out of 10. the level of emotional intelligence in my son is insane he hates sharing popcorn it's his favorite snack he just gave me some and said i'm working on getting over my anger when i have to share my popcorn take some from me so i can get used to sharing this nine-year-old man i told my ten-year-old as her school was cancelled that this was so unprecedented her generation may end up being defined by it not two minutes later she excitedly exclaimed we don't have to worry about getting shot at school for three whole weeks sobering af i mean unfortunately it is a valid point but your 10 year old did not say that my child always yells loudly why are they wearing a mask aren't they scared of the corona don't they know masks reduce your oxygen and increase your co2 inhalation and weakens your immune system kelvin parenting tip train your children to loudly ask why isn't that person wearing a mask are we going to get sick when in public i was just in target and heard this three-year-old say to his dad daddy i think people who use the word symph are doing so because they're rooted in misogyny women deserve to be treated with respect without people calling them simps wow incredible everyone clapped after ah tommy you were so close my ten-year-old is not having it what increased the need for slaves those people did not need slaves dang you did a really good job mimicking that handwriting take your mask off because god's got you covered wow he missed a couple million people though my 18 month old son built this i told him good job and then took half of it he cried so i told him that's socialism don't let them bring it here he looked me dead in the eye and said not in my america my eight-year-old daughter came up to me today and said dad today isn't for you okay it doesn't always have to be about you i'll be a woman one day and it'll be up to us women to fix the damage done by men i started to cry she then reminded me male tears weren't helping wise whoa my friend's six-year-old brother made this bracelet he accidentally put the beads on backwards but that's okay it's still super cute you may thank my 11 year old trumpkin orange on the outside hollow on the inside and should be thrown out in november i was about to pay my rent and my unborn son handed me this cash and said mommy it's time for me to start carrying my own weight around here i got this i love my son vaccines were discovered by edward jenner in 1796. it didn't solve anything vaccines are toxic my body my choice meet my kids clowning at the seafood restaurant if you want to eat adult food you have to act like an adult daughter if we acted like adults we would be causing global warming me i found my five-year-old daughter's elizabeth warren action figure in her bed when i was making it this morning when i asked her why she said i was scared and she makes me feel brave warren is inspiring a whole generation of little girls to grow up and move mountains this little girl i'm babysitting just asked me if i have a boyfriend and i said not anymore and she said boyfriends are a waste of time and then she turns to her brother and tells him you're gonna be a waste of time they asked i just need to say that my nine-year-old daughter is really upset with y'all for not thinking that it's a woman's turn after these last three years like she's hot my eight-year-old daughter is mad like epic mad she lived through hillary and all day long has been when is it going to be a woman's turn when are we good enough broke the news about elizabeth warren to my six-year-old daughter she paused for a moment and then said quietly it seems like grown-up girls don't get a lot of turns like to be president or governor or things like that i'm wrecked my wife and i never baby talk to our kids we use full sentences and a wide vocabulary including complex words my son is three and can carry a full conversation adults at family gatherings are shocked at his social aptitude my daughter isn't even two and she uses four syllable words old they only made star wars to make money 7 year old if nobody did anything to make money we'd still be cavemen you wouldn't have your xbox we'd just be a bunch of guys throwing spears and deers my 11 year old just told me everybody in his middle school talks about andrew yang a lot he says all the kids have convinced their parents to vote for yang he also says he wishes he could vote too i told him re-election in 2024 he can vote yang gang our soccer rep didn't show up so one of the moms on our team had her nine-year-old son ref for us he had a whistle and a completely adult woman on the other team argued with one of his calls and he yellow carded her in front of everyone and she had to sit in her car to calm down you know after that final lie i think it's time we end the video for today folks i made some fan art this is my first fan art and there may or may not be more i really hope there's gonna be more this looks great if not just slightly scary as well always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really liked it yeah you know what to do alright ladies and gents until next time i'll see [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 792,147

Rating: 4.9321804 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, r/wokekids, r/wokekids top posts, woke kids, r/choosingbeggars, r/tinder, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, sorrow tv, rslash, giofilms, fresh, funny, emkay

Id: 8zCeyBptI3w

Length: 15min 46sec (946 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 24 2021