r/WhitePeopleTwitter | Mom said I can't Have a Raccoon So I.....

mom said I couldn't get a raccoon so I colored the dog a wild disclaimer has appeared and please paid into the part where don't target or harass anyone anyways are slash white people Twitter invention of fishnet stockings fishermen one help I got caught in a fish net fishermen - is it just me or is Dave looking a little ah hi fisherman three no dave is definitely being hot right now what's the worst career advice you've ever received mine one don't waste your time helping others to drop 90% your projects because you can only do one at a time and three don't write a book monica lewinsky an internship at the white house will be amazing from here you've got a sense of humor about it Monica 20 years babies after dark you telling me Julius Caesar who has been dead for well over 70 years made this salad [Music] technically you aren't wrong with that number but I just hate it yesterday at Target the cashier said your receipt is in the bag and I responded with you - so I've been dealing with that for the past 18 hours but I'm slowly coming to terms with it which is cool Ariel is going to be black what's next Tom Cruise playing a I appreciate that reference though lots of banging noises outside I find my Romanian neighbors have rebuilt my fence which had fallen down a while ago when I offered money in beer as a gratitude they said it was better to do nice things rather than expect something bloody foreigners coming here in building fences boomers I heard she went to looks around nervously whispers Millennials Gen Z Wow yo guess what my therapist told me today I just found out that my husband fills the dog's water dish not from the tap but from the fridges water purifier feature she'd do the same for me he said my uber driver upon seeing my face not on my profile switches his music from rap to the chainsmokers and this is probably the worst I'll ever be racially profiled me I look cute mirrors you look cute door windows you look cute other people you look cute iPhone forward facing camera what's up you Shrek looking bag a [ __ ] what's your favorite forgotten celebrity controversial mine is when Justin Bieber visited the Anne Frank House and so the Anne Frank would have been a belieber okay so my eight year old head started talking back and then saying out loud hashtag roasted and dabbing not one of the parenting books prepared before this a burglar breaks into my house in search of valuables as he enters the living room his eyes widen in horror as they fall upon a display case full of my Mills school karate trophies suddenly I appear behind him hands on my yellow belt welcome to the dojo [ __ ] me the internet used to come through the phone it made a terrible noise like robots screaming [Music] grandson ice grandpa take your pills boomer is paying their bill you only had bud on tap but not light so you get 9% and I'm going to spit in your face as I leave good day Millennials paying their bill this beer incredible you incredible I'm tipping you 30% this is my last Tony but I want you to have it got a love dating the church girl bad sheet she finds out we pray together and blame the devil daughter what does gays mean well you know Mom and Dad love each other two men can love each other the same way so what's so what's penetrating gaze perv yeah read me the whole sentence she stared at him with the penetrating gaze ah I don't think I'll have his plane invites arguments this bloodline dies with me assert 'iv mettle as hell implies you're taking on a great and noble burden which allows no arguments zoo visitor I like that cage at the end that says world's most dangerous animal and it's just got a mirror in it zoo keeper kept fab revoking stuff whispers into the phone the leopards escaped again if you're arguing loudly on your phone in public please put it on speaker I need to hear both sides of the story to know whose side I'm on white people when mr. Brightside starts playing at a party I don't have to do something all of you are going to hate British people be having some yes splendid Oh indeed scrumptious carry on good heavens I'm arriving I'm gonna get more flak in the comments that I did it for the Irish there is one fourth of July that always sticks out for me 1997 that's the year my stepdad pulled me aside from the firework show to reveal he bought a grenade he tossed it off a cliff and just he and I saw it I started calling him dad the man earned it being a mermaid isn't about being a certain race or looking a certain way it's about having an earnest desire to lure men with your song and drag them to the bottom of this Steve honestly I would absolutely love it the live action mermaid was more like Trudel more and just Arielle just ragged people down to the depths while the crab is just singing under the sea as they suffocate and drown I would love that version of Ariel so much CEOs if we pay our staffers a living wage you'll be paying $4 for a coffee in the dollar menu will be a $2.00 menu are you going to be okay with that Zoomers yay CEOs nervously shuffling index cards oh god oh [ __ ] I told an eighteen year old the other day that I used to get Netflix delivered to me in the mail and I'm pretty sure he thought I was lying it's really weird remembering those times of getting the big red envelope from Netflix with DVDs in it but a must have worked apparently do you ever hear a recording of yourself can be like damn you should really shut the [ __ ] up forever yeah he's centric millionaire I've invited you to my private island because I crave the deadliest game me nodding knife monopoly eccentric millionaire I was actually going to hunt you for sport but now I'm really interested in whatever knife monopoly is how did the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy Brown dog become the typical sentence that contains all the letters of the alphabet and not Sphinx of black courts judge my vow which is objectively a million times cooler new dating app idea called 7.5 only for people who are like a strong 7 maybe an 8 on a good day who looked kinda athletic but would probably die if they had to run a mile have depression but the kind that makes you funny cars check engine light is on no one else is allowed NBC News major depression is on the rise among everyone new data shows well I mean gestures broadly and everything there's two sides to every story so I was having a mental breakdown in my school's bathroom but someone does that if you think I'm violent in the next stall please enjoy guys there's a girl sobbing in the bathroom Meg bathroom stall next to me and I had to take a record pretty I feel bad I'm gonna ruin her deed movie coming-of-age turning-point moment with the hellige sounds of this giant and a Boomer gets so mad about the plastic ban here in Oregon that he bragged that back in my day we would just throw plastic bags in the river all the time what the is wrong with these people I filled in for my parents today at my little sister's College orientation because they couldn't make it while I was having lunch with the other parents one of the moms comment on how young I looked I told her I had Jessica when I was there Dean she choked on her salad I collect all the cell phones and iPads from the kids at night and keep them in my room last night those little [ __ ] all set alarms to go up at various times throughout the night I'm impressed with their ingenuity and team effort they're all grounded I just worry that people are forgetting what prime day is really about and who to make it possible this like broke me when I was like 5 years old and I saw this for the first time and this is still hands down the best Transformers movie ever made and you can't change my mind on that all right oh boy the outro hey don't forget to subscribe and leave a like or comment don't forget I'm a one-man team here it's just me doing this it takes me like eight hours to make one of these videos so like just kind of throw me some support alright it takes a lot to stay on top of this and trying to now work on a gaming channel - turns out Windows game DVR corrupted all of my footage so thanks for that Microsoft do you back water

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 929,269

Keywords: funny reddit, r/whitepeopletwitter oz media, r/whitepeopletwitter, white people twitter, reddit cringe, reddit videos, top posts, satire, funny, best of, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, reddit comedy, best of reddit

Id: DkdAP9AzlUI

Length: 10min 52sec (652 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 04 2019