Ocean Meat Take Me By The Feet (r/Tumblr)

death is coming eat trash be [Music] free welcome back you lovely degenerates it's it's been a little too long hasn't it i'm finally back from the break that i took that was entirely unannounced but hey here we are anyways uh very quick thing before we get into the video there is a new mini oz plush he's a long boy you want to pick one up before it's too late just check out the link in the description or in the comment section and also can't forget these bad students yesterday i saw what may have been the fastest italian greyhound on record didn't get a photo but here's a quick there's [Laughter] so fast [Laughter] thank you sophie alright so i have been so into food videos lately they're like 10 quick and easy desserts you can make it home and then like [ __ ] 30 seconds in on the first one they go okay so now take out your blowtorch 13 kid friendly recipes liquid nitrogen are you seeing this what the hell has liquid nitrogen for children probably some [ __ ] ice cream recipe too literally any four panel comic is this lus comedy genius hey wait what no huh i got a poem to pick with you sibling less writers hey sis hey little bro i'm right and i should say it wait how how are people with siblings greeting each other then pretty much just like hey hey or greetings [ __ ] fortnite dances hey so uh what does it mean when someone says they're pescetarian and vegan it means that land animals are innocent of crime but the fish have sinned ah what a good morning i'm gonna draw a dog april fool's i do two dogs and they're best friends oh where where will the lies end chaotic academia is one intense obsessions that last maybe two weeks but consume your soul do spacing out in class but loving to learn three swearing and slaying while discussing deep academic topics yeah i've been diagnosed with adhd [Laughter] the only rat that will make your wife scream with pleasure junkrat did did you [ __ ] my wife junkrat look at that chad mouse so i used to work in a little market and we had to cut blocks of cheese in approximately 1 pound cubes to this day one pound equals one block of feta cheese in my head so um a gym trader was talking about guys lifting up to a thousand pounds and i that's a lot of cheese i said what i can't believe that the government is watching our every move and yet they refuse to warn me that i was about to walk into a panera where three of my exes were working together hey government you could have texted me you've got gps you've got their jobs on facebook i know you know we dated you knew you had the technology you just let me walk in there make eye contact with them and walk out without ordering [Laughter] me a sensible boy feeling a tickle just your leg hair calm down caveman brain it is so many spiders so i was trying to find a picture of a bird that is big so i searched big bird but i forgot he was a character so you know i got a lot of mitt romney big bird memes [Laughter] so i went back and typed in a large bird and this [ __ ] is still here looking sad like i don't want him i just found my seventh grade math teacher on a gay porn website oh my sweet jesus why were you on a gay porn website oh you know for oatmeal recipes why the do you think if you guys ever worry people don't buy me enough bath and body works lotion i just i just want you to know you can rest easy because it's the only present i ever get and i don't know what to do anymore i i i can't keep living like this i don't have enough skin the cops beat down my door trying to arrest me for operating an illegal bath and bodyworks reseller but i'm just so [ __ ] silky smooth that they can't catch me european culture is hating all other european nations like yeah we're at peace we're cooperating no tensions or anything but if i ever have to talk to a goddamn belgian hey uh waffles better than windmills i will annex you when you feel your clothes fresh out of the oven okay so i realized i used oven instead of dishwasher but i kind of i kind of forgot what it was called and use the next best guess i could think of it's uh called the washing machine um so i think it's a dryer like who would be feeling wet ass clothes god damn it this post is a [ __ ] train wreck so i just heard a child say circumcise me captain and his uh his mom smacked him in the back of the head and said i am so sorry i don't know where he heard that i don't even know if he knows what it means and i'm i'm just thinking of how kids are just like walking post generators no language should be mocked other than french here's an example birds are oyezicz oh oy souks [ __ ] hell birdies why sucks in french no letter is pronounced the way it should and there are seven of them it's pronounced wazzo wazzo what the [ __ ] it it's actually wise though apparently what the [ __ ] and yes i will die mad about it oh six hits every vowel in the french outlet and manages to only be pronounced with two goddamn syllables it's got vowels coming out of the oysters which of these is the best way to excuse yourself from the table sorry i'll be back in a few minutes i'm just going to use the restroom right i'm off to take an enormous sh using my anus i don't know which is the correct answer but i know which one i'm going to use from now on please just give me unbeast so i can go home and drink wine on b i mean clearly he originally had an a and then decided he was asking too much i mean yeah that that's probably true the dinosaurs had sex and look what happened to them abstinence [Laughter] the [ __ ] brontosaurus is i go to christie college i just walked into a residence hall and i am crying laughing ah love the variety of asks you guys sent me anonymous sir my depression has been getting really bad again and i don't know how to handle it any advice and uh anonymous my dick is [ __ ] massive and i can bench press you and your entire family rb is exec so i hear you have a new sandwich idea advertising guy yeah it's um uh blinks on the word fish it's um we have ocean [Music] meat it's uh it's a terrible way to describe a fish sandwich oh [ __ ] me take me by the feet lead me to the meat you guys want some motion meat sticks money can't buy happiness it's such a baby boomer concept like i don't want excessive wealth to buy a golf plate of toilet seat karen i just i just wish i wasn't crying because i can't afford both spaghetti in rent after working 40 hours a week so uh looking at the notes i guess y'all are bored too huh joe how many liberals does it take to change a log by bull but none they're too busy they're gender left-wing destroyed [Laughter] what does he mean i was like them once okay so i just like how one of the most prestigious and respected marine institutions on the planet posted this with zero context so for those of you who don't who don't get this this is actually a reference to carsonization which is essentially a weird observation that's happened in in science where like a bunch of species have kind of co-evolved into crabs with no relation to each other concept reverse vampires they survive by eating garlic and drinking holy water the sun is healing to them if you stake them through the heart they become immortal but most impo that kind of sounds like jesus but most importantly every single human on earth is trying to hunt them down and drink that's jesus [Laughter] attack [Laughter] what what timeline are you from hey uh hey donald kuhn i know you've been banned from everything but uh hey trump come to tumblr so okay um everyone against this was clearly never here for when alex jones made a tumblr and got run off not by staff banning him but by regular users sending him messages saying they were gonna [ __ ] his wife i i i'm sorry i was i was never here for what i'm sorry did i [ __ ] miss this i don't want to go on tumblr anymore because they threaded [Music] i don't want to go on top anymore because the gay frogs want to [ __ ] my wife tumblr is folks it's just gay frogs i'm thinking of you nervous well i mean i i will i [ __ ] am now aren't i today i learned that garfield's assassin charles guteau was so hated that when he joined a christian free love commune no one would have sex with him they started calling him charles get out a play on where she get out wait garfield's dead the u.s president on garfield was depressed [Music] [Laughter] it took me like a solid like second while reading that to realize that it wasn't garfield the orange cat and instead the [ __ ] president garfield i am the gatekeeper of the whole lgbt community and you must answer my riddles three before you may pass no but so i my dad just saw my report card and started yelling at me because there was an f on it but um but it actually was f for female as a as in gender are you a boy or a girl how about failure i love pizza just tried watermelon on pizza honestly it was pretty good reply from mythical stone that's him officer that's the guy right there take this shot before he gets away shout out to spiderman ps4 for having one of the best fake social media feeds it's uh it's a more accurate portrayal of how this generation acts and the entirety of life is strange yeah i thought this was a real post for a minute gollum is the result of a failed experiment to create a bingus catboy not like this post all right so but like nothing is funnier than boomers making political cartoons ended up being accidentally hysterical like case in point comprehensive sex education [ __ ] masturbation abortion anal sex oral sex gender identities a super quick side note too a comprehensive sex education actually helps stop child abuse it said it's an actual thing you should look it up it's pretty cool i think it'd be pretty funny if the next time an adult tells me i'm being rude and disrespectful trademark i just went yeah it's because i don't respect you and watch the gates of hell open before me telling a boomer they're not automatically entitled to my respect just to feel something great value butter flavored cooking spray great value lemon scented furniture polish i almost killed my entire family making pancakes this morning with great value comes great responsibility you know conversations about world war ii would be a lot more bearable and constructive if white men found that period rightfully horrific rather than pornographic yeah but we glorify war because it's the only time we're allowed to release the beast and not go to jail for it you want to see who a man truly is put him in battle man he's never more himself than when he has nothing to lose yeah okay buddy i you're not [ __ ] odessas go to therapy emails aren't safe we should hide state secrets deep in the story parts of recipe blogs so um okay you laugh but this was the plot of fullmetal alchemist wait excuse me hey welcome to the outro we're we're talking about the outro things like how you should like and subscribe and check out my twitter and discord and twitch where i'm i'm live streaming the editing and possibly some gameplay anyways uh yeah i'll see y'all soon hopefully unless i go another four month break unannounced

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 161,076

Rating: 4.9830618 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, satire, comedy, funny, tumblr, r/tumblr, funny tumblr, oz media, oz, reddit story, reddit cringe, subreddit, reddit best, best of reddit, meirl, me_irl, r/meirl, r/me_irl, mini oz

Id: ei83DVsL8WE

Length: 15min 57sec (957 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 21 2021