r/Pettyrevenge She Stole My Pen, So I Stole Her $250,000!

welcome to our slash petty revenge where no revenge is too small I'm waiting for a flight to board at a major East Coast Airport in walks this young slick loud a business kid early 20s maybe on a conference call shouting into his Apple earbuds he drops his bag on the one free seat and starts pacing the floor up and down the aisle oblivious to dozens of folks eating lunches working quietly baby's sleeping he continues pacing and shouting yup yup we'll upload that into the system blah blah jargon jargon acronyms in business BS annoying everybody around making everyone else get out of the way folks are giving him the stink eye but his shouting and pacing continued his circuit widening until he's walking out of sight then circling back still shouting into the air after 20 minutes of this I'm over it the kid stalks off in a hurried pace abandoning his backpack for the three or so minutes it takes him to pace the terminal so I walk up to a TSA guard and point to the bag sir there's an unclaimed backpack on that seat then I walk away the TSA starts making announcements trying to find the owner of the bag but douche bag business kid is too oblivious pacing and shouting TSA is already removing the bag when he realizes and chases after them too late he's suspect and he has to follow them out of the terminal for a bag check and now it's quiet again oh man I hope he missed his plane our next reddit post is from huh farted on mobile so sorry for any typos or grammatical errors this occurred at a large chain sporting goods store on Black Friday before the sale began shoppers have been lining up in front of tables covered with cloth in order to get the door dust are items underneath the bell sounds and the cloth is lifted I'm quickly yet respectfully rifling through a table of highly discounted yoga pants in various colors when I get shoved pretty aggressively from behind I ignore it and continue what I'm doing another shove this time a screechy voice calls out make some room or move your butt now keep in mind that is very large so it's not like I was hoarding prime real estate all for myself Karen just wanted in and didn't care who she had to run over to get it rather than make a scene I watched against another shopper allowing her some room to slide closer I had the last pair of size medium black pants on the table draped over my arm looking through sizes of another color when I felt the pants get pulled off my arm I looked up and of course it's Karen so I said hey those are mine and grab on to them to which she replies with an obnoxious smirk not until you pay for them and started pulling them trying to get them out of my hands at this point I know it's only going to go downhill so rather than be on the six o'clock news for fighting on Black Friday I cut my losses and decided to leave the table my husband who had been watching from a spot about 20 feet away was half laughing as he saw me retreat empty-handed and defeated cheer up he said and pushed a shopping cart towards me filled nearly to the top here you go wouldn't you know it my amazing husband had commandeered the pushy woman's card while she was busy digging through yoga pants we smiled at each other and I happily rolled her card and all her other Black Friday finds to the other end of the store then turned her purse into customer service on my way out the door your husband's over there in the corner like I'm about to do what's called a pro-gamer move our next reddit post is from brand moff tarkin I come from a family of six my parents my older sister my older brother my little brother and me often in order to bribe us into good behavior our parents would buy us our favorite candy to munch on in the car now I've never exactly been a giving person not huge on sharing just for the sake of sharing my parents however we're trying to raise respectful and generous kids and often forced me to share things even when I didn't want to that's all fine and good except that my sister abused this system see she would say she didn't want a bag of candy then once we were on the road she'd start taking candy from all three of the brothers that really pissed me off I didn't get candy often as my mom didn't like feeding a sugary food so when I got my own bag of Sour Patch watermelon I wanted to eat every last one myself besides my parents would always offer to buy her a bag of candy for herself she would just refuse because she knew she could leach off the rest of us so after a point I started refusing her request for candy but that stuff didn't fly with my mom because that was being selfish so she would force me to hand over the candy one time I even said when I purchased my bag at CVS sister I'm not going to give you any of my candy if you want Sour Patch buy your own right now I'm fine she responded I don't want a whole bag of candy fast-forward 20 minutes into the car ride my father was requisitioning a candy to give to my sister as I sat fuming this went on for years my whole life really and I hated it I would hide my candy when I got it I would try and keep it out of her reach but always a parent would intervene fast forward to my sister's college graduation she's now 22 I'm a senior in high school at this point and were up at a school at a fancy restaurant celebrating after she had graduated that morning in attendance are all immediate and some extended families some close friends of my sister and her long-term boyfriend who I was meeting for the first time so enough people for the following to be embarrassing to my family our meal ends and my mother offers to buy a nice dessert for anyone who wants it my brother is my dad and I all take her up on it I ordered a vanilla bean cheesecake with a burnt sugar bird's nest on top my mother repeatedly offers to buy my sister anything she wants but my sister says she couldn't possibly eat a full dessert right now and turns it down every time the food arrives and everyone is staring at mine I'm sitting right at the head of the table in full view of everyone so it's hard not to look and aside from the cake slice being large and delicious looking the burnt sugar bird's nest is huge an ornate hollow on the inside like an effing old-timey brass globe or something honestly it was pretty impressive and right as the food gets placed in front of us my sister says I'll just have a pint of everyone's at this point I'm seeing ray and having flashbacks to all the times my food has been stolen logically the right thing to do would have been to just hand over one bite I mean it was her graduation it was a huge cake it would have been no loss but it had become a matter of principle so the moment she says this in one fell swoop in full view of everyone at the table I sweep up my slice of cheese cake and stuff the entire thing into my mouth at once shattering the sugar nest crumbs falling everywhere in front of my whole family and some college students close to my sister who again never met me my life my sister stares appalled and says did you do that just so I wouldn't get any and I look at her cheeks balloony ballooning out like a chipmunk face covered in cheesecake and graham didn't he did in the eyes and nod there was a fan there was a fair bit of shocked silence at that moment and in the very tense car ride home but to this day she never asked for anything from me anymore [Laughter] Opie that is the most I've ever seen a sibling assert dominance over another sibling well played then we have a similar story down in the comments I broke my sister of this I broke my sister of this when I sucked the salt off my french fries before being forced to share mom and sis didn't know I waited until she ate every last one before letting her know she's a germaphobe to this day she won't ask me for anything unless she knows I have extra and she double checks with me first and then another story from my name wouldn't be oh man I would remember my little brother doing this all the time with any sort of treats we would get nope he never wanted any until I had them then it was a temper tantrum and screaming until he had what I had I remember one time my Nana grant they're offered us these Halloween to go bags as we were leaving her house they were amazing filled with all kinds of baked sweets and deliciousness my little brother had polished his bag off completely before we even left the house and I had picked my way around a few treats leaving my favorite candy until the end fruit rolls of course seeing this my six-year-old brother wanted to have some I politely told him he ate his already and that I was saving these for later he calls such a scene that my mother turned around and asked me nicely if I would share with my brother enraged by his manipulation of mom I rolled down the window hurray for crank windows made eye contact with my brother and casually tossed my candy bag out the window no tootsie fruit for me no tootsie fruit for you he didn't like that very much neither did mom but she knew why our next reddit post is from oceanic lamer so a few weeks ago my brother's sister and myself all in our early to mid 20s took a little siblings vacation to California for a week first time we've ever done anything like this so a few nights into the trip we went to a basketball game in Sacramento after a day where we had been drinking on and off as we took our seeds I took my jacket off and place it on my seat knowing I have a penchant for being somewhat forgetful I asked my sister if she could remind me about it as we left which she looked absolutely disgusted and remarked I'm not your mother well sheesh we were having a very nice trip to this point and I had no clue that kind of reaction was coming but whatever I figured she was cranky or something and let it go well wouldn't you know a few nights later we had gone out to eat and she was the first one to stand up and walk away from the table leaving her purse on her seat I did what any responsible older brother would do and quickly snatch it up and hid it inside of my jacket after he walked about seven eight blocks away from the restaurant I made some remark about how weird someone else's purse looked and she immediately realized what she had forgotten and began running back towards the restaurants I filled my brother in and we took a nice casual walk back to the restaurant where my sister was freaking out because her purse wasn't there I simply held up her purse looked her straight in the eyes and said I'm not your mother it was gloriously cathartic as an older brother myself I can confirm that this is the most older brother story I've ever read our next reddit post is from boo young Dave I supply and operate sound and lighting for bands this singer shows up fully dressed in black leather with effing Spurs on his boots shoves a cheap sucky wireless microphone at me without a word I check it out and it has rechargeable batteries in it this was a no-no back then as the batteries would discharge suddenly and caused the mic to fail in a performance I tried to point this out to singer dude but he just death stared me and told me to F and sort it halfway through the show of course the mic starts losing game catastrophic ly I tried to increase the input gain but it's hopeless the mic gives out entirely and singer dude gets on one of the wired mics and tells the audience we have to take a break to sort out this F wit sound guy oh really I go backstage and before I can even open my mouth this guy starts screaming at me you're an Fe f wit mate why don't you just f off right in front of all the band and hangers on okay I can deal I went on stage and started rolling up cables and turning everything off the venue manager asked me what's going on and I told him no worries Dave they're a sucky band anyway see you next week after a while singer dude comes out all pally hey Dave uh whatcha doin I told him I am effing off mate isn't that what you wanted packed up loaded out and got home early see how your sucky mic goes without a sound system mate then we have this contribution from push pull down in the comments I knew a guy who did sound and one of the delay units in his rack was specifically reserved for occasion such as this he called it the you suck button basically when the band gave him trouble all you would need to do is press a button and bring this delay unit online but the trick was that it only went to the singers monitor the singer would get a 1/3 to 1/2 second delay and start singing in time with that while the rest of the band would try to adjust his favorite story is when he had to do this for one particularly obnoxious band and they choked did so badly that they broke out in a fistfight on stage our next reddit post is from Karen Donner one of my best friends Alex was a staffer in a state legislative office his boss was hit of a key Senate Budget Committee so there were always people coming to solicit her support for a particular project or grant or whatever someone representing an arts program that was looking for a 250,000 grand is waiting I'll call her Lobby an she comes up to the reception desk and ask for a pen the senator keeps giveaway pins with her name on them in stock reasonably nice ones so Alex reaches over to the cane where the pins are Lobby and says something along the lines of well then the senator will know that I showed up without a pin so what she looks across the desk alex has some work spread out with his own favorite pin an expensive one with lapis inlay and engraved with his name and term of office of a campus organization lobby and reaches over snatches it up and drops it in her purse Alex who is a very polite person is completely gobsmacked and then tells Lobby an that's his personal pin and not up for grabs lobby and gives him a contemptuous look and refuses very rudely one of the sad funny things about this story is that she uses a slur that Alex wasn't sure was a reference to his heritage he's Asian or his perceived sexuality oddly enough given the nature of the stolen object either slur ended with ink Alex confused and deeply upset sits back down while Lobby and flounces back to the waiting area in a few minutes the senator comes out to get Lobby an as they're walking past Alex's desk he stands up and says in a very clear voice I'm going to need my pin back Lobby and stops in her tracks as does the senator and alex says calmly I may be a slur or a slur whatever you want to call me but that pin is precious to me you stole it right off this desk and I want it back the senator kind of gasps and says she stole your lapis pin she called you a slur and then she turns to Lobby an who was frantically fishing around in her purse and stammering something about just borrowing it and says give it back once the pin is back in Alex's hand the senator says to Alex come on back I need you and turns and walks back into her office leaving Lobby and standing there as the senator shuts the inner office door in her face then the senator picks up her purse smiles a big bright smile and says one Starbucks so she and Alex go out the side door and across the street they could see the front toward the office from the Starbucks it apparently took Lobby an about five minutes to realize how bad she tapped up and that she wasn't going to see the senator that day or any day and that the project she was going to ask for money toward was probably doomed as well she lined up strong support in the house so it might have made it through though it wasn't the kind of project the senator favored when she came slinking out she almost certainly saw Alex and the senator sitting there drinking their drinks Alex always ends this story with that was the best coffee I've ever had and opie included a picture of the pen so if you if you've ever wondered what a 250 thousand dollar pin looks like here you go that was our slash petty revenge and if you don't hit that like button that I'll get petty revenge against you

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,547,242

Rating: 4.9264307 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, pettyrevenge, petty revenge, r/pettyrevenge

Id: y4FCWcC2tIE

Length: 17min 1sec (1021 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 14 2019