r/Askreddit What's The WORST Coworker You've Ever Worked With?

welcome to our slash ass credit our first ask reddit question is what's the worst co-worker you've ever worked with our first replies from Sir Nando I hired a cook on good recommendation he was just fine the first two weeks then I noticed food going missing then supply started going missing then a customer told me that he had been adding automatic 30% tips to his food purchases when I looked at the books I saw that he had been adding 30% tips to all the credit card sales and the cash rings were off from what should have been sold I fired him that day the next day he came in and apologized said he was on drugs and was going to rehab I wished him well the next day he tried to break in after clothes and was caught idiots our next replies from Jabberwocky he just wouldn't work just wouldn't this was in a research lab he was a visiting researcher from another country and he spent a lot of time asking tons of non-work-related questions to the point of disrupting other's work in the course of a year he designed one very basic experiment and didn't actually do it just designed it he was above doing bench work apparently he picked fights with everyone doing any experiment related to the one he was planning because he didn't want to have to share credit for anyone he wouldn't clean up after himself and he wouldn't pick up things from the floor he actually called me in from another room because he wouldn't take a string listt back out of his mug also on a different occasion because he'd knocked some things off a hanger on the back of the door and for whatever reason wouldn't pick them up it was kind of like working with a child he must have had servants where he lived I don't know how but he was there for his PhD the boss fired him he was one of two people in her 30-year career that she'd ever fired our next reply Shalu fernell I worked with a guy who to interrupt any conversation to talk about anything as if he was the expert and I don't use anything as a hyperbole he truly had something to say about anything including things he had never heard of or obviously didn't know much about when the subject being discussed with some thing in the category of things he didn't know much about he would slowly steer the conversation away from the original discussion is something he would like to talk about at the moment it was both amazing and the most annoying thing I ever had to deal with he was like that Wikipedia game where you start with Star Wars and somehow end up with LGBTQ struggles not to mention the conversation was basically 98% of him just talking non-stop everybody else was too polite and against conflict to say anything including me so most people just tried to stay away from him but he'd follow people around I eventually left but I even remember having a nightmare where he was the best man at my wedding our next replies from Killer Croc worst this guy named Daniel I used to work with McDonald's in high school he let everyone know he worked out and enjoyed being on the football team he had this thing about taking five dumps a day he would walk by on his way back from the toilet chest out shoulders back and triumphantly announce that's dump number three laughing Daniel so what you're saying is Daniel literally couldn't keep that [ __ ] to himself or next reply from stoic Minotaur this is about 15 years ago but the office I worked in instituted a sin free policy one woman who was already insufferable was so offended by it that she snuck in her perfume collection she walked down the halls and spray perfume into empty offices or cubicles when no one was looking or before everyone arrived in the morning this went on for well over a month or two and we had no idea who was responsible my co-workers and I started referring to this mysterious person as the Chanel bandit she was finally caught on camera in the act she'd left for three weeks vacation and was unaware that we'd installed cameras after a break-in some of us already suspected her as the Chanel bandit mysteriously stopped spraying while she was away she quit right after she was caught none of us were sad to see that cedar scented psycho leave our next replies from little Kat I had a manager once who dumped trash on my desk my third day there he said it was to remind me that taking out trash was part of my job description it wasn't I was a research assistant in a more it's firm our next replies from jello jock my worst co-worker was when I worked with when I was a cashier at Walmart she approached me and asked me to cash out her paycheck I was still new at the job and never got training on how to do that function she was sympathetic so she walked me through how to do it transaction over and done I go on about my day I get called back a couple of days later by my managers and they circled me in an office and accused me of stealing after tears videotapes and telling them what happened they told me that apparently this co-worker of mine had stolen not only from me but several other people that day as well they just wanted to confirm I wasn't in on the deal F Walmart and F that woman for almost getting me arrested our next replies from the Knights of Liz no contest it was the literal crack hit I worked with for four months that was also secretly living in the office and being completely nonsensical when he was actually working we found a mattress folded up in the warehouse after he was let go and an actual brand new crack pipe with a price tag on it to boot squirreled away back there he and his family it wasn't just him living in the office left discarded food everywhere like pizza crust in the toilet brush holder in the bathroom and they left hair in the sink in the bathroom as they were obviously bathing in there too as we had no actual bathing facilities in the office one day during his tenure he sent an email saying his alarm didn't go off and he'd be in at X time which kept getting moved back later and later he eventually showed up at 4:40 p.m. and we closed at 5:00 p.m. Lowell C comment above about secretly living in the office how is it even possible to live in an office and be late for work our next replies from Bobby Sancho's I've worked a lot of factories but when I worked at was mainly for felons they paid you complete garbage and worked you so hard and tared up your body and mind I just graduated high school and it was my second factory so I didn't know any better one guy worked with we nicknamed big Matt because there was already another Matt well a big Matt was a big fan of crystal and steroids so the dude was absolutely jacked but this 35 year old still live with his mom he said it had to do with him being a kid and walking in on her being sexually assaulted and ever since then he never wanted to leave her alone at the time I thought wow that would explain the substance abuse he just wants to be strong to protect her well I was an effing idiot two months later big Matt and two other co-workers didn't show up so I asked the supervisor what happened but he didn't know either next day one of the co-workers came in and told us that all three had been arrested after buying an ounce of weed because big Matt's mom called the cops on them so before the cops showed up on over 6 foot tall buff meth head beat his mother within an inch of her life for calling the cops on him next day I looked him up and sure enough he was booked in a local prison our next replies from Belarus he was a complete utter [ __ ] he was incompetent in every way but the icing on the cake was when he tried to put one of the pickup trucks into gear with the wiper stick and called me an idiot when I told him it was the wrong lever our next ask reddit question is D&D dungeon masters of Reddit what's the most useless magic item you've ever given to your party and how they use it our first replies from Tyra theists we were playing through a premade campaign at one point the players retrieve a magical artifact which turns out to be an orb of control dragons it does exactly what you would expect in theory it could have been very useful except no dragons were showing up in the campaign so it was basically useless it did however lead to a running gag where our most paranoid player kept attempting to control dragon on random NPCs to see if they were actually secret dragons in disguise our next reply Sharmila stolen once my party got a huge beautiful magic sword which was improperly identified as a sort of ogre slaying instead it was a cursed sword of ogre saying whoever wielded it would only be able to yell Oh grrrrrr at things several adventures later they were attempting to catch a thief who was evading them they came up with the brilliant idea of setting the sword as bait I'm just going about their business sure enough some time later they heard Oh gir ring out through the town and they caught him without consequence and then AJ replies to that it's all ogre for that guy our next replies from hail Satan when one of my players found a magic ring in the wreckage of a burnt wagon he provisionally identified it as a ring of invulnerability he spends most of the rest of the session swatting about like he's invincible until he's confronted by a veritable army of goblins combat immediately ensues and to his surprise he's quickly filled by the javelins and scimitars as he lays there bleeding out in the dirt he notices it as he lays there bleeding out in the dirt he notices that the ring is completely undamaged our next reddit post is from Ruiz an orb that states the closest magical item to it it always states itself our next replies from puff Maddie bear I was playing a campaign on a tropical island type of place and an enemy knocked my weapon off a cliff so I used to coconut as an improvised weapon crit with that thing four times in a row and decided to keep it for last hitting people I was a barbarian and the DM liked the cocoanut last-hitting so much that he had me keep track of the kills and I eventually had a +3 coconut that on a crit would ricochet until it didn't kill something so basically he gave me a coconut of great potential our next replies from vin smoker a rope that couldn't be tied not even for a second they were facing a dragon who loved puzzles and eating non dragons they gave him the rope and made the deal that if the dragon couldn't make it not within an hour then the dragon would need to let them pass through our next replies from Haven egg a ring of fire a ring of fire detection range touch and then target replies I had a merchant selling some knickknacks and one of them was a ring of fire identification if you pointed it at something it would declare in a loud clear voice fire or not fire obviously useful when faced with illusory flames but for some reason the party didn't spring for it and Kira Rey replies to that it's a fire distinguisher our next replies from what a waste they found a wand that creates a random and unique lock that incorporates itself into the substance it's used on so it might make a suspicious recess in a stone wall or a brass plated keyhole on a wooden door if it was probed with lock picks you would encounter moving tumblers or some other appropriate but unique locking mechanism the lock was completely non-functional though it didn't magically create a compartment it just made a lock even if you use it on a desk drawer it never made a latch or bolt so the drawer would open perfectly fine while having a useless metal cylinder with tumblers that weren't connected to anything if you successfully pick the lock it always felt like a real lock despite lacking the physical pieces it would make a soft chiming noise and the lock would evaporate the one was a training tool used by a famous locksmith to challenge himself in a student's it had no practical application at all outside of that profession it ended up being used by the druid to constantly mess with the rogue the druid would take every opportunity to wild shape into a small critter good for scouting and then place fake locks anywhere the rogue might conceivably try to use a serf skill the Rogues increasing paranoia every time he found a lock and his overblown promises of vengeance every time a random hole in the floorboard wasted a minute of his time and shined at him was a pretty good gag it turned a little sour when the druid made an extra lock on an honest-to-goodness treasure chest the run the rogue rolled a natural 22 pick the first lock and got a chiming noise then he rolled a three and triggered an energy draining trap that permanently lost him five hit points after that the rogue stole everyone that druid had in the middle of the night and threw them all into a bottomless pit in the Underdark our next replies from DEFCON 1 I wasn't the D&D dungeon master but I played near Ashima it's a post-apocalyptic RPG system with a setting kind of like fallout or Mad Max one guy was so F being stubborn searching one abandoned building that I finally gave him a potato this dude carved it into the shape of a hand grenade and painted it green then he used it in a negotiation with some NPCs pretending that he was insane and bluffing that he's gonna blow them all up along with himself well I was really impressed and proud of the creativity of this player our next replies from knee-jerk nihilist a +3 sword of edward tumble 10 slang edward tumble 10 was a tailor in a nearby city they discovered a sword that was very effective at killing him just him neither the party nor neither the party nor any other person on the planet had any reason to kill this guy they ended up killing him by blowing up his shop with a fireball thus the sword was never used our next replies from be mend I once gave my party a magic spoon it emitted a terrible aura of dark illusion magic and merely holding it filled players with a sense of dread from its sheer chaotic energy its in-game abilities it worked like a fork instead of a spoon so I actually have my own story of a magic item when I was a teenager I used to play D&D a lot with my friends and one time when I was a DM I gave my players a nondescript box now a nondescript box was actually a specific magic item that was basically a box that was so boring that you forgot that it existed and if it was ever out of your sight for more than like a minute you had to make continuous wil checks every minute to keep remembering it or else you would forget it this enchantment applied to everyone except for the owner so the owner never forgot that it existed and never forgot where it was when I gave it to my players I was assuming that they were gonna use it to just store their stuff you know like just keep all their stuff in the box go off adventuring and then come back to camp and all their stuff would be saved because no one would notice their box but that's not how they used it they came across these Coble's which if you don't know are these small kind of like lizard people that are maybe like three feet tall they're typically evil but not always and after defeating the tribe of kobolds they were trying to figure out what Eve organization they worked for so they were interrogating the survivors that's when the owner of the box got the idea to stuff one of the kobolds inside the box and of course the kobold instantly failed the will saved to remember that he was in a box so this poor cobalt was stuck in like a three foot by three foot box but he kept forgetting that he was inside the box or why he was in the box or that he even got put in the box in the first place and then the party just left for like an hour meanwhile this cobalt is having this like out-of-body existential crisis where he doesn't know where he is he knows he's trapped and he doesn't know where are how or why he's trapped because as soon as he remembers that he's in a box he instantly forgets that he's in the box and then eventually the party comes back and left the poor little thing out of the box and by then he's more than willing to tell everyone anything they need to know our next replies from dragonfly in a game I'm currently in our DM gave us a flask of endless water it can produce water in a trickle a flood or deluge that shoots 30 gallons of water in one turn our clear had just fallen from a bridge over a chasm and through clever biessing our sorcerer had managed to catch the falling cleric with a web spell as we're all racking our brains trying to figure out a way to save them our cleric pulls out the flask and uses the water cannon mode to propel herself back unto the bridge using the web strands as a fulcrum and then a femoral being replies you think that's bad I had to literally ban the three-point-five spell create water because my entire party roll classes that could learn it and solved everything with that stupid can't rip it would blow your mind how many puzzles traps combat encounters and social situations can be solved by liberal application of magic water someone refuses to talk waterboard them pressure plates might be down the hallway set them off from a distance with a flood there's a lock to anything break it by dropping water from a height ambushed turn the road to mud and run away setting an ambush turn the road to mud and wait starving you can survive for ten days on just water need to escape from a conversate a pipe burst and the building floods the list goes on turns out physicists and engineers can turn a can trip into the power equivalent of a ninth level spell given enough thought that was our slash S credit and today we've got a shout out I'm shouting out fans about once a week as a way to say thanks to the people who support my podcast hire slash this is Connor I've been such a huge fan of you and you go for probably around two three years and I was there when you were at I think 200,000 subscribers I've been using your podcasts for a while now to byte and actually yesterday I did my first ever full marathon it was four hours and for all four hours I had your podcast in my ear I went to youtube I went to anchor and I just listened and it was very fun just I could push through the whole way thank you so much thanks Connor for supporting my podcast and congratulations on your marathon if you want a chance to get a shout-out by me then follow my podcast wherever you listen to podcast and then leave me a voicemail at the Anchor dot F M link below

Channel: rSlash

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Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, askreddit posts, funny askreddit, ask reddit, askreddit, r/askreddit, askreddit top posts, askreddit funny, askreddit question

Id: Sqybnysh0tM

Length: 18min 33sec (1113 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 03 2020