r/Maliciouscompliance Weird request, but OK

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where a douchebag screams at a waitress and then gets a taste of justice this happened about 10 years ago now and I have a good chuckle about it every time I pass the place in my car I'm a pretty meat guy so this is probably the only rebellious thing I did in my entire teenage life my dad owns a farm and being his son this meant that I had a job when I was a kid whether I liked it or not mostly I understood this but that didn't mean I had to like it I resented having to spend entire days of summer vacation dawn-to-dusk in a tractor when it came time to harvest alfalfa which we did four times between spring and fall basically imagine a teenager with ADHD forced to sit in one place for 14 hours and you'll understand how it felt honestly if I wasn't a total introvert I might have snapped sooner so anyway it's the second day of the harvest and it's getting to be late in the afternoon I've spent about 20 hours total in the hay blind by this point over the past few days and I asked my dad which fields to cut next and I asked him when I'll be done hoping in vain that I can leave and go play video games or whatever this is where the titular line comes in I'll pick you up at dark little does he know that my little teenage heart is clenching with righteous anger for all this wasted paid time so several hours pass and I'm understandably getting pretty irritable it starts getting dark and guess what no sign of my dad at the time it was becoming a bit of a recurring joke in my family about how my dad was always late so I knew I was in it for the long haul then it occurred to me and the malicious compliance begins my dad said that he'd picked me up at dark and he wasn't picking me up so that must mean that it wasn't dark yet and what don't you need if it's not dark outside that's right headlights so I continued going back and forth on this wide empty field squinting as the light continues to fade after sunset and stubbornly refusing to turn on the headlights I can easily see the edges of the field of course but everything else is blending in pretty well I start purposefully and accidentally leaving some shark fins which are what we call the mistakes at hey vine operators between rows when we don't get any alfalfa a few small shark fins per field are fine even expected but these are on a whole new level my dad shows up after about 30 minutes of total darkness I forget our exact conversation but I do remember the result after asking me why I didn't turn on the lights and me telling him why he laughed uproariously and I still remember it fondly to this day I never did get any punishment I'm not sure he understood the extent of his missed alfalfa it was dark after all and it was hard to see in the dim moonlight but whatever it was just a few rows I however like to think he was a little proud of me because I was a type of teenager who never got into mischief I asked him about it recently and unfortunately he has no memory of the incidents oh well I however will probably remember this little bit of malicious compliance fondly for the rest of my life it might have been pretty insignificant and motivated by laziness but it was also the first time I really stood up for myself against any authority figure don't worry about it Opie not every hour slash malicious compliance story has to involve crushing someone's spirit it's kind of nice to have a sweet story every once in a while this is almost like our slash wholesome compliance our next reddit post is from good day how're you going many years ago I had a job that permitted me to travel around the world a fair amount Travel remember that but I digress as a part of that travel I thought it wise to join a few frequent flyer and hotel reward type schemes I had little control over my travel plans and frequently would use different airlines and stay in different hotels whatever was cheapest was the rule anyway the time came where I was lucky enough to be booked into one of the really big name hotel groups so naturally I wanted to make sure I was enrolled in their rewards came to start collecting nights and some sort of status points unfortunately the online signup had a slight glitch even though I definitely filled out my details correctly and even had a welcome email summarizing as much something went amiss in their database and my surname was registered as both my first name and my surname so after that initial welcome email every other greeting or communication was addressed to mr. surname surname annoying but man I felt I could live with it as luck would have it I ended up being to stay in hotels owned by this hotel group a couple of times and even though my status was equivalent to medieval serve I decided that it was time to correct the mistake that had been in place a couple of years I found the contact number for my membership provided my membership number and explained the problem I asked quite simply can you fix my first name to be my actual first name not the glitch that it is now after a long pause I was told no that's a name change and we would need to see a copy of your passport or driver's license to verify the change of your name well that wasn't gonna happen never mind the fact that I don't drive I wasn't about to email my passport image to them to fix this isn't there anything you can do I mean this is such an obvious error we're only permitted to make minor Corrections to name such as a misspelling and at maximum a two letter variation and with that I hung up and developed a convoluted plan starting the next day and for the next few weeks thereafter I would call up the hotel membership team tell them there was a minor misspelling on my name and asked him to make a correction of one perhaps two letters actually there's no in in my first name can you remove it yes the C is silent but it is there can you please add it it's not Y its I and so on and so forth I made only the most subtle of changes with each call and thankfully none of the agents I spoke to had ever helped me before hooray for large outsourced call centers I guess it took about eight or nine calls but eventually I was properly me again an amusing side effect of these changes is that whenever you make a spelling correction it reissues membership cards to members you know to be nice for a long time I had a stack of various bizarre spellings of my name on little plastic cars in this hotel every now and again when checking in I present one of these unusual variations and the staff at check-in would be rather perplexed I'd summarize the story and the sympathetic lapse would occasionally result in a room upgrade or other minor perk not nearly as impactful as many of the other events recounted in this community but it amused me greatly at the time our next reddit post is from Renta Cole last week me and my friend went out to eat for the first time in over three months there was a short line before being seated with just one of the couple before us the man insisted that he had a reservation but the waitress couldn't find his name in her tablet and immediately he got loud and angry the waitress suggested that maybe the man had called the wrong number because there's another restaurant 50 kilometres from here with the same name and sometimes people mix up the two of them when doing a Google search she was very polite and calm about it but the man got even angrier and accused her of trying to shift the blame said she couldn't do her job bla bla the waitress tried to say that they still have some open tables and if he could wait a moment she would go and check but the man kept speaking loudly over her and saying that she must find his reservation so eventually the waitress called the owner and the owner took the man and his companion to one side so they wouldn't block the line while she tried to figure out what was going on now me and my friend didn't have a reservation either because I'm a total scatterbrain and I forgot to call ahead I told the waitress as much and asked if there would be any chance they could fit us in she told me not to worry there was still tables available and we were seated within a minute our table wasn't near the entrance so we didn't see what happened next but the same waitress brought us our coffees at the end of dinner so we asked her if everything was okay me and my friend had been talking about it and we're appalled at the man's behavior the waitress told us not to worry that the owner had let him stew for a bit and that she called the other restaurant with the same name the manager of that other restaurant had confirmed that they had a reservation under his name the man was very annoyed at being proved wrong and asked to be seated since they had been waiting a long time the owner said that unfortunately all the tables were full the man said but earlier you had empty tables I saw it the owner said yes but you told the staff you didn't want to be seated you wanted us to find your reservation we have found your reservation it's for a restaurant in another city in the meantime other people have come in and all the tables are full we have no seats left the man didn't take it well but the bartender huge giant of a man was standing nearby so he scampered off in rage swearing he was never coming back I think everyone in that restaurant will be happy if he keeps that promise man what kind of threat is that I'm a huge douche bag and I promise I'll never come back ever again okay buddy bye our next reddit post is from the peasant King em I live and studied in a spanish-speaking country and since I went to a public university most of my classmates didn't speak English by the time this story happened I was fluent in English and French for one of my classes the teacher had a digital version of the subjects textbook but he had in English the very first time he used a textbook in class he asked me to read it out loud it wasn't immediately clear to me if he wanted me to read in English for him to translate later or if he wanted me to read and translate into Spanish especially since he had no way to know my English level so I asked in Spanish no in French he answered with sarcasm and that's what I did I read and translated the whole paragraph into French after I finished I could see he was angry while my classmates were mostly astonished our next reddit post is from vibe in now this will begin with a bit of terminology I played Final Fantasy 14 which is a multiplayer video game in Final Fantasy 14 there's three types of classes tank who leads the way and makes your enemies don't attack anyone else healer who heals damage and resurrects dead players and DPS who deals the majority of the damage dungeons are run with one tank one healer and two TPS usually randomly assembled from people who queue up for the dungeon the class that I play is red mage who importantly to this story is unique among DPS classes in the sense that it can do pretty decent healing output and very easily resurrect others something even healers can't do without going into details healers can only resurrect instantly once a minute and red mages can do it once every five seconds dungeons have three bosses each harder than the last so this happened yesterday when I got into a dungeon katana revell for the knowledgeable with a scholar as a healer note katana is a pretty high level dungeon definitely not for beginners red flags went off immediately because for some reason katana tends to attract questionable scholars in my experience note that the scholar wasn't new to this dungeon we go through the first boss with relative ease but in the second boss the scholar is struggling to heal the incoming damage and then dies when a pillar falls on them I casually resurrect them and heal the tank while they're resurrecting they got mad but didn't tell then later on the tank gets bold and collects more any reason they can chew and the healer is doing kind of subpar healing so I again pitch in with my healing spell the third and final boss comes and those who already ran it know that the final boss of katana is especially tough because of the sheer amount of unavoidable damage we start and I can already see the scholar isn't using their abilities effectively to mitigate and heal damage with the exact spell needed for the situation they also aren't running away when the enemy ability requires them to run away I tell them that's what the ability requires and they don't answer nor run away when the boss uses the ability on them again this goes on for a bit then the tank dies I casually resurrect them and heal them up the healer dies shortly after I resurrect them too we eventually wipe when I die and the healer starts casting a long resurrection spell on me gets interrupted by damage and dice to an unavoidable possibility then the tank and the other DPS die we have to go back to the boss and start it from the beginning since everyone died this is called a wipe and while licking it there the scholar goes off on me he says I'm the healer you're the DPS stop doing my job I literally saved us a good couple of times but sure buddy I reply with an OK boss time right off the bat we get severely damaged by unavoidable damage and the healer isn't using their correct abilities I just mind my business and DPS then the healer dies ironically because they weren't running away from that one possibility the tank heis me expectantly I cast another birth under a DPS spell the tank is trying their best to keep themselves alive but tanks are not healers nor red mages and they eventually go down the boss targets the other DPS next and hits them heavy if only I had a healing spell they go down and since I'm refusing to heal even myself I die that's a white folks as we're all going back to the boss that tank asked me why I didn't resurrect the healer or them I reply the scholar asked me to do my job and DPS the tank responds with opening a boat to kick the scholar from the group the vote passes with flying colors a couple minutes later we get another healer a white mage this time and we finished the final boss without any further issues so I've actually played Final Fantasy 14 before and one important detail that Opie forgot is that if you get kicked out of a group you get locked out of dungeons for a while and healers can't really do much outside of dungeons so this guy basically couldn't play the game for 30 minutes after getting locked out for a little bit of extra malicious compliance our next reddit post is from hi guy I used to work in a cafe as a waitress my job is your typical food runner and sometimes bus Duty for understaffed which is always anyway one day we had a group of college kids who were mostly really nice but one in particular was the clown he started off with dumb jokes and when I asked him what he wanted he responded with food please or a cheeseburger without cheese when asking for drinks he responded with a nice cup of water with ice at the bottom with some of his buddies telling him to shut up and waving me an apology well no problem buddy you can thank my 7th grade science professor warning us not to lick metal poles when it was cold or it'll stick like in the movies I went back to fulfill this specific request to the T I grabbed one of our milkshake tins gave it a quick rinse and packed ice cubes at the bottom I crushed some additional ice and added them allowing the entire thing to form one solid cold clump and it being cold enough stuck to the wet interior of the 10 I returned triumphantly plopping down the tin in front of the fool water with ice at the bottom as per dear customers requests at first he was confused as he was the only one with the metal tin then I hear him silently mutter holy cow but was cut off by the rest of his groups cheer in disbelief that I had conquered his request he and the rest of his buddies even took a few pictures of the cup and before leaving slipped me a personal tip as a thank-you since then our diners special was ice at the bottom as a running joke and everybody now gets a kick out of it when they see it down in the comments Misha Burns brings up an interesting question is this our slash malicious compliance or our slash delicious compliance that was our slash malicious compliance and if you like this content then check out my patreon where I publish extra videos also hit that subscribe button because I put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 615,696

Rating: 4.9444008 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: 4SnYPBAGaiM

Length: 16min 7sec (967 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 27 2020