r/Maliciouscompliance "Sure, if you say so!"

welcome to r slash malicious compliance where someone deeply regrets saying well then sue me our next reddit post is from slim pickings this popped into my mind recently i used to work at a retail tropical fish store and weird as it is we were very well known we used to provide the aquarium with rare fish and people used to drive from two to three states over if they were true fish people to come buy from us at the time i was a 17 year old girl and i was an expert in tropical fish and koi in fact it was my job that summer to be the koi and outdoor pawn point person and my job was not only stocking the ponds but managing all the plants caring for them and knowing every bit of information and all the prices of the various koi and goldfish we had i knew diets temperature ranges places of origin special breeds i knew it all they would even call me with questions on my days off that clearly didn't matter to one customer though he came inside the store and asked for some help with coy outside i happily agreed as i was the only person not on my lunch break now this guy frankly seemed put off by me offering to help so instead of buying anything he decided to quiz me for 20 minutes about the koi goldfish and pond plants to try to get me to admit i didn't know something i answered every single one of his stupid questions some were really stupid and at the end of the 20 minutes he had the balls to say can i talk to someone who knows things like a man full emphasis and tone on those words too sure you can i say with a fake smile let me get john for you here's the malicious compliance john who was 75 was retired annoying as hell and crazy my boss didn't even want him to be hired but he owed john a favor now john is an expert in goldfish but he hates coy and outside pawns jon also like i said is really annoying and crazy but he had a soft spot for me so we would always chat i went inside to find jon and explain to him that this customer wanted a man to talk to john asked me why he wanted to speak to a man when i was the pawn point person and i told him that he clearly just didn't like that he was speaking to a girl john nods knowingly gets this evil grin on his face and goes to help the customer five minutes later i hear a man yelling in the parking lot i run outside and find the customer screaming at jon and cursing him out what is wrong with you does nobody effing know anything around here i will never come back you're all horrible and know nothing about fish and you're a terrible employee or something to that effect i watched the guy hop into his car slam the door and drive off i asked john what happened he said oh yeah no every time you asked me a question i said hmm not sure good question though i could go get opie and ask she's really our pond expert and apparently he didn't like that customer if you read and remember this f you thanks for reading and down in the comments we have a similar story from grant b wilson when i was 21 i had a summer job driving a bus around banff for a group of hotels it was free for the guests staying at any of our five hotels in banff i had my class 4 license which is required to drive those 24 passenger shuttle buses i looked like a young fun-loving guy because i was i pulled up to a group of people that were flagging me down this happens when guests see me but they aren't at a stop no worries i pull over i open the door and karen looks right at me with that open mouth gasp that is so signature of karen's well you're most certainly not old enough to be driving this bus we kind of just stared at each other through the open door i didn't know what to say someone else pushed past her and said looks fine to me and sat down she stood there in the door and pulled out her phone i'm calling the hotel to make sure that you should be driving all the other guests on the bus sigh she wasn't finished finding the phone number when someone on the sidewalk outside said wow look an eagle she stepped off the bus for a second to get a look i closed the door and left her there next bus is in an hour i don't know if there even was an eagle our next reddit post is from nerd without a cause so my husband works from home and has a very tidy office i work in a lab and so can't usually work from home and since our house is small i never really set up a workspace for myself and to be honest i'm not the most organized person so usually my belongings are found scattered all over the house my husband once turned around the car when he realized that he forgot to make the bed so my messiness is a challenge for him anyway one day a few years ago while my husband was out i had to sign something i couldn't find a pin in my bag and so i stole one from my husband's desk a few hours later the following conversation occurred hey did you take the blue pin off my desk oh yeah sorry i rifled through the stack of junk on the kitchen table until i find it here you go my husband slightly irritated said i wish you wouldn't take my stuff you're always losing things now i'm a little huffy because while it's true that i lose things from time to time we're talking about a one dollar paper made pen not a mod blank i say well you're the only one with an office full of office supplies i don't even have any place to keep my own stuff well why don't you just get a bunch of pins and put them all over the house with the rest of your stuff then you'll be able to find them and then he stalked back off to his office okay fine i think let's do it your way i hop on amazon and oh look 10 pins for 5 pounds let's get 3 sets in each color plus a few pin holder cylinders and a pack of sharpies for good measure because you can never have enough sharpies add to cart and confirm the next day my malicious package fortuitously arrived while my husband was out of the house when he returned home he was greeted by a lovely bouquet of pins in the entryway he was soon to discover a similar bouquet in the kitchen on the mantel the table the top of the staircase bedroom dresser and bathroom cabinet this is a small two-bedroom house so pins had suddenly become the primary design motif his only comment wasn't exasperated really to which i just grinned in reply he did move the one out of the bathroom but the others stayed where they were and are actually pretty handy i haven't needed to borrow any of his pins since so i think we both won and then down in the comments we have a similar toy from balls to asia my ex and i were both smokers and she couldn't retain possession of a lighter for more than a day or two she'd misplaced it and was constantly asking me for a light then reflexively pocketing my lighter and putting it in her pocket or a purse for april fool's day i bought 50 lighters off of amazon i started by putting 10 or so in her purse for the next few days every time she left the room i would drop another lighter or two in her purse there was a bowl on the table near the entrance i guess her purse got crowded or heavy so a few days later there were about 10 lighters in the bowl that didn't stop me i kept dropping a lighter or two into her purse every day before long the bull was overflowing and her purse still had a dozen lighters in it that's when she told me that i'd made my point and to stop with the lighters and then wambu adds how can her bag get heavier when you added lighters to it our next reddit post is from lomyopi a few years ago i moved back to the city where i had been a university student as i was now a young professional and had experienced significant issues with housemates in the past i decided that i would rent a small flat from a reputable agency which specifically catered for young professionals such as myself i went and viewed the property which was quite messy and needed to have a few things addressed but seeing as tenants were still living in their property and the agency assured me that in between tenants the landlord would clean their property and resolve any small issues prior to moving in i happily signed a contract and wrote a check for the deposit and first month of rent two months later i moved into the property and was welcomed with the following issues and then op includes an absolutely massive list of all the terrible things that were wrong with this apartment i'm not going to read them all because it's quite long but here's a few highlights the previous tenants had left much of their belongings behind namely clothes and bidding the main supply and circuit breaker was ripped from the wall which is incredibly dangerous the vinyl floor was ripped up there was fecal matter on a light switch the washing machine was broken and the gasker was missing burner cap so it was therefore unusable it was very clear that two things had occurred here the first being that the previous tenants had done a bit of a number on the property they had not respected the property and had left quite a lot of damage in their wake they didn't even have the decency to empty the place of their contents and at a bare minimum take the rubbish out before leaving the second issue however is that the landlord had evidently not made any significant attempt to bring the property back into a habitable state prior to me moving in being the reasonable guy that i was i called the landlord and asked if he could resolve these issues immediately primarily as the property was genuinely in a dangerous and non-habitable state i didn't want to be a dick about it however at the bare minimum the flat should be safe to inhabit the landlord dismissed all of my complaints and stated that his wife had inspected and cleaned the property a few days before and all was fine this was a blatant lie i told him that i was extremely unhappy with the situation and he told me to adhere to the contract which jude signed he subsequently hung up on me any sympathy i had for that landlord evaporated at this moment he was happy for me to live in a dangerous property so i went through my contract line by line and found two key pieces of information one if a property is deemed to be in breach of fire regulations or is deemed uninhabitable by a suitable representative it is the responsibility of the landlord to resolve such issues immediately two if the landlord cannot resolve such issues immediately it is the responsibility of the landlord to provide alternative accommodation to the tenant until the property is returned to a habitable state fortunately a close member of my family at the time was a fellow of the royal institute of chartered surveyors within the hour i had a formal letter stating that the property was uninhabitable and dangerous i had this email to the landlord within 10 minutes i had a call from him arranging emergency accommodation at a local hotel until he returned from his business trip three days later on his return he drove directly to the property from the airport and returned the checks for my deposit and first month's rent to me and asked me to move out which i gladly did unbeknownst to him a copy of the letter had been sent by my family member to the housing oms budman and the local authority the last thing i heard is that this bloke ended up being investigated heavily fined and had to sell the house so as i was reading this my first thought was that the previous renters must have been really terrible renters but by the end of the story i was thinking maybe they actually weren't all that bad maybe they also got screwed over by the landlord so they were trying to get a last bit of revenge our next reddit post is from i am groot back in middle school we had a teacher we'll call him mr teacher who was kind of a jerk he was kind of an odd guy who came off as very condescending to students he also seemed kind of disinterested in teaching in general one day during math class he's generally butchering a lesson on the basics of algebra literally the introduction on how an equation is formed and balanced one kid is really struggling and asking a lot of questions mr teacher is struggling to come up with a coherent explanation finally the class clown who was actually pretty smart couldn't handle it anymore and interjects mr teacher you're explaining this in a really confusing way it's not as complicated as you're making it out to be look do you want to teach this class sure i bet i can explain it better than you are right now i'd like to see that go right ahead now the tone of this wasn't friendly mr teacher was trying to put the kid in his place and he was really sarcastic about the whole thing you could tell he thought kid was going to bomb and be embarrassed well a kid marches up to the white board grabs a marker and spends five minutes walking the struggling kid through the lesson in front of the entire class his explanation is clear it makes sense and at the end the struggling kid goes oh okay now i finally get it thanks mr teacher is pretty sour about this turn of events and picks on a small detail that kid omitted from his explanation he says you know kid you didn't mention anything about this one detail the kid turns around and looks dead in mr teacher's eyes and says mr teacher do you want to teach this class the class erupts in laughter and clapping as mr teacher looks like he wants to kill the kid meanwhile it was legit like a movie and the bell rangs and class ended our next reddit post is from account attempt 8. i worked for an i.t company a while back and needed to do a return on a faulty computer component my tickets would be constantly closed as complete from the vendor with no information given we realized they used the same ticketing system as us due to a loop created by auto responses back and forth from both systems we stopped the issue on our side and said oh well that's good to know after a few weeks and over 50 tickets i was no closer to a resolution my strategy at that time was spamming them with tickets as they were very easy to create in our system i tried calling i'd leave voicemails but messages stated that all returns are done via their online ticketing system okay i sent my tickets to every department several times a day after getting no response from the returns department or my voicemails clearly the tickets could be closed just as easily on their end with no care or repercussion then i realized i had the answer all along i asked my boss to remove the new rules he had implemented to stop the loop of responses he set another rule to basically auto clear the responses right after it's received and we've already auto-responded this was to ensure that it doesn't crash a ticketing system since it was generating a response every few seconds and i was and i was gonna do this on five tickets these responses also generate an email being sent back and forth that should make for several hundred emails per minute better yet i'm fairly certain images were getting related with each response on an older or poorly set up system that's a whole lot of traffic and data coming in even worse if no one there knows what's happening or how to stop it many companies don't have an i.t department due to overall need they outsource to companies like mine to fulfill those needs it took less than an hour we received a frantic call from the vendor asking us to stop the auto responses from our system because they didn't know how it had basically taken down their email server because it was full and no one knew how to fix it oh sorry about that i'm glad you called though i wasn't sure anyone worked at your company because i've been trying to contact you for weeks we didn't notice a problem on our end but we can see what's going on now it must be a different setup weird i i had a credit for the part before we ended the call i hung up the phone victorious called the boss and told him to put the roll back in we never bought from them again dormammu i've come to submit a ticket that was our slash malicious compliance and if you like this video then 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Channel: rSlash

Views: 575,713

Rating: 4.9367194 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: YjoTkiK6C3Y

Length: 16min 16sec (976 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 31 2020