r/Maliciouscompliance "I Want It EXTRA SPICY!"

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where a customer orders his meal extra extra spicy our next reddit post is from basuma tequila this happened about six years ago when i worked at my local pub now for context the landlord operated on grandma's rules for the pub meaning anything you said or did that would offend my grandma are yours then you're out you just don't offend grandma simple i used to supervise the bar while my landlord dealt with the office up to help balance the workload it was a great job overall decent wage was right on my doorstep and the regulars were class except one we shall call her karen karen was getting married to one of the regulars and was a complete b word she was this horrible morbidly obese woman who would complain about the size of the stools and how it didn't fit her what's worse is she didn't even acknowledge you she would just huff and puff until she gets a new drink i hated that and so did every member of the staff one day i got fed up and ignored her because she snapped at me for saying hello the situation went as follows well aren't you going to serve me why uh grandma's rules my grandma would be offended if i sat here with an empty glass for too long i immediately had a lightbulb moment and waited for my moment to strike i served her as normal and spoke to my landlord about her in the office i explained what i wanted to do and i got the go-ahead i went back to the bar where karen was spitting fire at the new bar girl that i was training i just calmly told the bar girl to ignore and serve the other customers i then took her drinks poured them down the sink and asked her to leave what are you doing sorry grandma's rules she thinks you're a b-word and wants you to leave spoiler the landlord is actually a landlady and my grandma our next reddit post is from dramorga this was a few years ago when my parents still owned a chinese takeaway i was working the counter and a guy came in and asked for the spiciest chicken curry you have i just wrote the order down stating extra hot chicken curry the guy replies no no no i want the hottest you can make since chinese people can't make spicy food worth a damn with a big smirk on his face challenge accepted i took the order to the kitchen and told my dad who was cooking to nuke it with chilies he added in a handful of chilies but then i remember that i had blair's ultra death sauce in the back as i like really spicy food myself this was unfortunately before carolina reapers even existed so i ran and grabbed it then shook the bottle as hard as i could until i got three tablespoons in and the curry's color changed to a dark glowing red i sent it back out with a cheerful enjoy your meal one week later the guy returns and says i'll have a chicken curry please i replied as hot as we can make it with an innocent smile and his face almost went white as he responded quietly um no thank you it was uh pretty spicy last time i spent most of that night with a sore stomach as i drank almost two liters of milk to try to counter the heat so as someone who's married to a chinese girl and who's been to china multiple times i can't confirm chinese people definitely do know how to do spicy food trust me on that one and down in the comments we have this story from sirius lampshade many years ago my partner was working a pizza chain that shall remain nameless in those days the drivers did just about everything in between deliveries they did prep made orders and sometimes even serve the front counter one quiet night my partner is swapping between prep and front counter as needed when a guy who was so drunk you could smell him before he opened the door came in he started placing his order with the girl in the front counter i want the hottest spiciest pizza you can make that would be our jalapeno hot and spicy no that's for wusses i want one that's actually spicy this went on for some time before my partner ran out of patience you want the ultimate spiciest pizza no problem it'll take about 20 minutes to cook with a look of triumph to the cashier the super drunk guy stumbled out of the shop promising to return in 20 minutes now being in the middle of doing prep meant cleaning out the benches one such job involved restocking all of the ingredients one of which was the jalapenos at the base of the counter a liquid collected jalapeno juice if you will so my partner laid out this guy's pizza with a spicy sauce then a layer of jalapenos then took all the cheese and marinated it in the jalapeno juice for a few minutes after a good thick layer of special cheese he sprinkled on the standard pepper toppings and put it in the oven to cook i'm told that the smell pervading their little shop was quite something 25 minutes later a super drunk guy came back having somehow procured more alcohol my partner was extra sweet to him took his money and said that he hoped he enjoyed his extra extra spicy pizza fast forward a week and my partner is working the front counter when who should walk in but super drunk guy my partner admits to feeling like this was it he was going to be fired instead this guy now completely sober walked up to him and said you you're the guy who made that pizza the other night my partner admitted yeah it was his handiwork it was the best pizza i've ever had i don't know what you did but man can you do it again and that's how super drunk guy spicy pizza got added informally to the menu our next reddit post is from jimmy effiem this happened about nine years ago at one of my first jobs i was working in sales over the phone and they had this odd policy of docking your pay 15 minutes if you were even two minutes late just for context at this job we took credit card details and the like but due to our security policy we couldn't be alone when working there would at least have to be two people at any time there was rarely only two people on so it was never really a problem one day i had to come in earlier than usual at about 9am i walk in about 10 minutes early to go to my desk and no one is in yet i'm the first one in so i put my bag down turn on my computer go to the kitchen and make a coffee bring it back and then go to the bathroom i walk out to my desk at 902 when i get to my desk i see my team leader has just walked in and is visibly sweating from being outside and he still got his backpack on he then says you're late i'm docking you 15 minutes obviously i'm immediately triggered and say that i was there before him i just went to the bathroom my bag is right there in front of you on my desk as well as my coffee i mean fair enough if he was just sitting at his computer ready to rock and roll but he had just walked into the office he ignored what i said and said does it matter you're late so i'm proper pissed off not because of the 15 minutes but purely because this grunt literally just walked in and is saying i'm late so being at work and not wanting to voice my actual thoughts and lose my job i say fine i'll see you in 15 minutes then and walk off to leave the office at this point he realizes that he can't even work now because of company policy he then says no you'll need to wait the 15 minutes here at your desk at this point i was beyond being nice i turned to him and said are you gonna make me i didn't wait for an answer and continued off when i came back 15 minutes later team leader was sitting there with his general manager and he had obviously only told half the story because of the reception i got what seems to be the problem team leader said you threatened him i then explained to him how i was there before him and he was talking my pay for being late and he was the one that was late i'd already come in earlier than usual and now i'm getting my pay docked when i did nothing wrong by the person who did do something wrong i pointed out that i had set myself up to work already coffee made as well and insisted they checked the security footage if they didn't believe me which drew a look from the general manager to my team leader anyway they checked the security cameras and my story checked out the general manager said i would get paid the 15 minutes anyway as i did nothing wrong and even though i walked off it shouldn't have happened team leader got the sack about two months later for other reasons not exactly sure why but i didn't care to listen to him afterwards down in the comments we have this story from gentlemen i worked a job once where i was always 30 to 45 minutes early due to transportation issues and like the young idiot i was i'd start working right away technically for free since i never put those extra minutes on my time card one day i was four minutes late my manager came to my desk and in front of all of my co-workers gave me a 20 minute lecture on how important it was for us to work our scheduled hours after that i'd sit at my desk eat my breakfast drink my tea and read a book no matter how backed up or busy it was and every time a manager came over to ask me to help out i'd remind them how important it was to work our exact scheduled hours never give the company free labor ah the employees wasted four minutes of company time better waste 40 minutes of the company's time by wasting 20 minutes of the employee's time and 20 minutes of the manager's time for a lecture our next reddit post is from maker of cakes i was reminded of this by yet another weary letter asking if i wanted to cash my pension in early obviously the answer was no this happened a very long time ago over 25 years and is theoretically still going on i was happily working in a local office in my 20s when i was out of the blue headhunted by another company the position was a promotion more money and i was to be trained to take over from the office manager when he retired i took the job it was horrible the work was nothing like they said i was basically looking after a bunch of idiots who couldn't tell their butts from their elbows or be honest about their work timings they lied on job sheets didn't turn up for work and i spent the entire time dealing with crisis after crisis i'd been there about three months and was looking for a way out when the manager suddenly announced the office was closing imagine quiet dances of joy on my part no one else was happy though i quietly asked the manager if he knew this was happening when he offered me the job and he refused to answer this was a very valuable lesson for my future because it made me realize that not everyone has your best interests at heart a few days later i got my monthly pay slip and for the first and only time in my life it had a negative value i nearly had a heart attack from my salary they had taken not only emergency tax but also a large chunk for the company's pension scheme which i didn't have to join because of my age the hr department decided that i had to be older than i was because of the job i had i was so upset i hadn't signed up for this and asked for it back the hr department basically told me to go submit a form and they would consider it even though their paperwork said that at their discretion they would cancel my voluntary pension contribution there was nothing i could do i was very smugly told that there wasn't anything in the scheme's rulebook to cover their taking money in these circumstances i was spitting feathers when i had to pay them before i could leave admittedly it was only a couple of pounds but it was the principle of the matter now here's where the malicious compliance comes in a few months later to my surprise the pension people rang me at my new place of work and asked where they could send me a check for my contribution to i thought about it for a split second before saying nah i'm good it can stay in your pension scheme they were so shocked and kept insisting that they could send me a check and i just said no keep it in the scheme you won it you got it the reason i did this was because when i moaned to my dad about this dear old dad had a laugh and pointed out that the scheme would be sending me statements every year to tell me how much my contributions had increased and how much i would be getting and asking whether i had any questions wisely or rather unwisely he pointed out that this would cost a lot more than the amount that i had paid in so i left it there they insisted it should come out of my salary so they can invest it for me over the years i've been contacted by them offering to pay me different amounts of money to settle it and i've said nah i'm good each time when i got married i dutifully filled out all the paperwork for a change of name and sent it off to them this kicked off another round of them saying let us settle with you and me saying no in three years i'll be entitled to a lump sum of approximately 75 bucks plus an annual pension of 17 pounds i suspect that over the years it's cost them a lot more to manage that quite frankly i may not claim it when the time comes as that apparently would kick off a lot more paperwork as they have to have a reason for people not to claim it admittedly looking back on this as i type it it seems so silly and pathetic but it still brings a smile to my face when i think of the panic in that little man's voice when i told him my minuscule salary could stay in this scheme he did try to force me to take the money but as i pointed out to him there wasn't a rule covering money taken in this situation but there was a rule saying that all contributions accepted by the scheme had to be processed our next reddit post is from mugu i got accepted into college and had to quit my job of two years i submitted my resignation papers and had two months of notice period left i had informed my manager and team but i didn't account for mr s who was technically on my team but worked from the client offices overseas so i don't get to see him ever background on mr s he was hired as a mediator between the client and us but had years of technical experience so he often helped us out with technical work but he was always a snob about it he made sure to cc every possible manager in every email to show that he was doing a lot more than his role was required to do everyone hated how commanding and rude he was most meetings with him was just the entire team listening to him complain and moan for 20 minutes he had no boundaries and would call up at odd hours of the night just to prove a point he would promise clients certain results with unreasonable timelines without consulting the team leading to late delivery and terrible client ratings since i had two months left to go at work i wasn't quick to give up responsibilities and transfer knowledge to my colleagues i handled an important client-basing task and i've been doing it for the two years that i worked there i never taught it to anyone else because it was a relatively easy task and it hadn't been screwed up in two years we get info from the client that my task was undergoing major upgrades and needed to be done extra carefully and on priority for the next week i know the drilling get to work as usual mr s calls me up on skype to re-emphasize the importance of the task this week i just reply to him that i've been following all protocols every week and will continue the same as usual being careful of the upgrades he considers my answer as unprofessional and inconsiderate and proceeds to tell me how i'm not that important to the team and that my job was easily replaceable he then cut the call and proceeded to reassign all my tasks for the next two months to someone else while also formally emailing everyone that no new tasks were to be assigned to me there i sat maliciously complying watching my teammates struggle to run my task unable to help i sat around doing nothing for the last two months of my job luckily i was working from home so that meant two months of paid leave down in the comments midflink says you could send him a thank you message for the two months of paid time off how did you know i'm starting college this fall and put in two months notice to our boss thank you for the paid time off present and then opie replies he still hates me the last time he came up to me for help was glorious because i could hear the defeat in his voice i was the only one who knew how to do the task and he had to cave in and ask me that was our slash malicious compliance and if you like this content then check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also be sure to hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 517,439

Rating: 4.9495649 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: yPW5tjD9xoA

Length: 16min 28sec (988 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 27 2020