r/Maliciouscompliance I Almost Got Stabbed Working on Black Friday!

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where an angry customer gets exactly what he asked for our next reddit post is from karador so i work at a small garden center and we have a system where if the line is getting too long the person on the register calls on the radio to open another register basically this allows staff to go to other things when there aren't enough customers to justify having two three or four tills open i'm sure you can guess where this is going already over the last week or so it's been absolutely baking by uk standards and to top it all off our register area is what used to be the main greenhouse before our site got expanded so it's an old greenhouse with little airflow and scorching weather so it was hot as balls in there this was causing a combination of angry customers and exhausted staff and to top it all off our uniform is more what you'd call a guideline than an actual uniform all we need is a navy polo toe cap boots and you're good to go so when i hear the call to open up a second register there's already about three or four customers in the line so i walk past the line with some candy my water bottle and go to the tails that's when a six foot tall rugby player looking guy at the back of the line puts his arm up to stop me what follows when something like this oy mate don't you know what a line is but i'm no butts you do not get to skip i'm just going i do not care you wait like the rest of us at this point with a guy getting pretty angry and turning a very deep shade of crimson i look at the register with an exasperated look catch my colleague's eye and just say fine then and wait it was too hot to argue over this and i wasn't going to risk this getting physical my colleague with a knowing smile picks up her radio and says can i have another till please i don't think op can make it no one arrives so we wait it only took about five minutes to get to the front of the line but the angry dude is getting redder by the second so he walks up to the register with a loud finally i'm now at the front of the line so i walk up to my register log in and say can i help anyone on this side there was a loud are you messing with me from the angry dude but my colleague was quick to loudly point out that i did try to explain it to him several times that he got very aggressive with me for doing so and honestly he was lucky that we were serving him at all he decided to just leave instead of embarrass himself any further he left his purchases at the register and just left i'm glad i didn't get into trouble for that one but it was a fun bit of malicious compliance and down in the comments we had this toy from brandy aiden love a similar thing happened to me on black friday our store was set to open at 6 00 am staff was scheduled to arrive by 5 30 am but by 5 a.m the line was insane this was the year that keurig became popular and the store where i worked had a special where if you bought 16 packs of k-cups you'd get a free keurig the crowd absolutely would not let the staff through most of us were there by 5 15 am here we all were dressed in red and khakis and not one customer had enough sense to let us get to the doors at 5 35 am the store manager came outside because he had no staff in the store he was met by at least 200 people trying to push past him he quickly ducked back in the store and called the cops for crowd control we had to have a police escort just to get inside the store opened on time but barely i had the largest single customer sale of the day at 8am that customer had four cards and spent 12 000 i've refused to work on black friday ever since you can fire me but i will not work or shop on that day and beneath that we had this toy from flame is love on my first black friday in retail my co-worker got her hand broken over at tickle me elmo and i nearly got stabbed for being out of stock of a 50 cd player our next reddit post is from night skater i'm a 24 year old guy and i hosted a friend from college also a 24 year old guy who i haven't seen since before the pandemic shortly after my friend arrived we headed to a local bar and grill in our neighborhood we decided to do the quick 15 minute walk instead of driving so we don't have to worry about leaving the car we were joined by my new roommate a 25 year old guy and also a good friend and his newish girlfriend who's 22. i don't know her that well but i've always had friendly encounters with her when we hung out at the bar drinks flowed freely and my friends seemed to really hit it off with our crew we stayed longer than expected and by the time that we decided to walk home it was fully dark and we were all pretty bust it was still hot outside when we got to the apartment complex so my roommate suggested we hit the community pool the pool and hot tub were technically closed for the night but it's not too close to any of the units and generally and no one cares as long as you're responsible and you don't break glass bottles or anything like that after debating whether to head back to our place to change first my roommate insisted we're all friends here and that we could all just go to the pool in our underwear everyone agreed to this but my roommate's girlfriend said you guys have fun with that and she proceeded to just lounge next to the pool on one of the deck chairs and scroll instagram we stripped down and hop in the pool and we're having a pretty good time just messing around after some time had passed my roommate was chatting with his girlfriend and then quietly approached me afterwards apparently his girlfriend was very uncomfortable with me wearing just briefs in the pool to be clear my roommate and my friend were both wearing boxer briefs she wanted me to go all the way back to the apartment and change into a swimsuit i initially protested and said this was all his idea in the first place and how everyone else was in their underwear too so what's the difference it's not like my underwear was white and see-through or anything like that my roommate asked me to go change for him as a favor so that it didn't turn into an issue between him and her i was pissed but i decided to let it go for the time being when i got back to the apartment an idea popped into my head i still had the swimsuit from when i used to swim on the club team in college so i put on my speedo and hit it back out armed with another six pack for the boys and only a t-shirt towel wrapped around my waist and flip-flops i get back to the pool announced i change into my swimsuit as requested drop the talon ditch the t-shirt and launch into a wicked cannonball into the pool i can see the rise smile on my roommate's face but nothing else was said about my choice of attire we keep swimming in the pool and a few minutes later she announces that she is tired and going to bed the rest of us stayed out late had more beers and laughs in the hot tub while the girlfriend was asleep at our place our next reddit post is from j jorge of usa some context i work for an outsourcing company before i was hired there were two people doing my job but both left before i joined i was left alone doing the job of two people weekly reports were being sent to the client and the client would visit the job site once a year there was a general mailbox where the client should email all requests that needed to be addressed however that client would completely ignore that email address and would instead always email my email address ignoring the general one since i was alone doing the work of two people i was almost always behind on the workload and so other people at the company would complain to the client who in turn would complain to my managers the client would complain how is it possible that op can't deal with seven or eight daily emails and still be behind on his work sure i was only getting about seven or eight emails from that client today but what about the phone the other emails and skype chat where people were always trying to contact me so the client complained to my managers about me being a lazy idiot who can't even handle a handful of emails a day my manager set up a meeting to absolutely grill me op you always look so busy and you're only getting a handful of emails a day and you're constantly behind on your work how is that possible the client isn't happy either so you either improve dramatically or the client wants us to replace you i explained that answering emails to the client wasn't the only thing that i did i mentioned all the other work that i had to do as well so their solution was for me to write down every single thing that i did throughout the day i asked for clarification human emails and calls right no no everything then when you're done email us a log at the end of the day so here goes my malicious compliance i did exactly what i was told i wrote down everything that i did during the workday including bathroom smoke and coffee breaks if the client wrote to me on skype i wrote down the timestamp of when the client asked for something and a timestamp of each and every reply then after i had about 500 lines on my excel sheet i added my personal favorite to the end time wasted to fill in the sheet one hour my first manager left when he saw my malicious compliance the other one not so much but he can't do anything because i was just doing what i was told a few months later when the client visited me he effing loved it as well my managers told me to stop doing it after three days they were now fully aware of all the work that i was doing down in the comments we had this story from stimple garamond a few years ago a manager told me that my job was being transferred to his office a hundred miles away i was getting a different job in my office but first i had to train my replacement oh and i had to do it in the next two months i told my manager i was having an operation next week so i would be out of work for six to eight weeks so my manager decided that i had to write a guide on what i did which is inward shipping i had to write about how i did it what i did when things went wrong and my favorite part what to do if something happens that's never happened before so in that spirit chapter one of the guide was what to do in the event of a bear attack okay this actually reminds me back when i was in god what was it sixth grade fifth grade i don't know i had a teacher who gave us the assignment about natural disasters so we were paired off into groups and we all had to pick a different disaster like wildfires or floods or something like that and we had to write a group report on what to do in the event of that disaster my group got volcanoes [Laughter] and like i was struggling absolutely struggling to find any information i could find about volcano safety because one they're super super rare and two a lot of volcano activity is like totally random people don't see it coming because like obviously if you know a volcano is going to erupt you don't hang out next to it i mean keep in mind i'm a millennial so the internet wasn't super accessible at that time it's not like i could just pull out my phone and look up online about volcano safety and even then this was years and years ago so how many websites were there available about volcano safety anyways that meant that honest to god my one and only resource to write this project was our school library so me as a kid goes to the school library and i'm like hello ma'am do you have any books on volcano safety and the librarian is like no of course not who writes books about volcano safety so because i couldn't find any information i basically had to just bs my way through the entire assignment i distinctly remember my teacher mr duncan was his name called me up to his desk and he sat me down in front of me and he pulled out my paper and his legs crossed he's looking very stern and serious and he gives the paper kind of a disapproving once-over and he looks at me with that unhappy disappointed father look that some male teachers have and he starts reading from my paper ahem whenever when a volcano erupts there's not much to do you're pretty much just dead because it's a volcano in fact if a volcano erupts in your town you're pretty much dead so this paper isn't really going to be helpful for you normally this would be where i talk about the importance of setting up a will but if your house is also next to a volcano it's pretty much destroyed too so you don't have to worry about that everyone else in the class wrote like a multi-page paper but mine was just one paragraph that said don't worry about it if a volcano blows up in your town you're pretty much dead so after reading my one paragraph paper out loud to me my teacher looks at me and says dabney this is the paper that you're submitting i was really a smart ass when i was a kid so i just kind of shrugged and was like am i wrong though i got an a on that paper our next reddit post is from luther williams so i live in south korea but i work for a us company in south korea because i work for an american company and i'm one of the few employees at my company who is actually american my company doesn't issue me a letter that basically says that i'm employed in south korea this means that i have restrictions on my korean bank accounts i can only withdraw about 216 a day from an atm and if i go in person to a teller i can only withdraw about 870 a day normally this doesn't present a problem for me i also can't have a debit or credit card instead i get a bank book which is kind of like an electronic checkbook that's a physical thing that you carry around however eventually this did create a problem i signed a lease for a new apartment and the deposit was eight thousand seven hundred dollars yes this is normal for south korea so i transferred the money from my american bank to my korean bank then i went to the bank in person to transfer the money to my landlord i get there and the teller tells me that i can only transfer 870 a day my first idea was to ask my landlord if she'd be cool with me transferring her 870 bucks a day for 10 days but she did not like that idea so i'm sitting there arguing when the bank manager comes out he's a nice enough guy and speaks good english basically he says that because of the type of account i have there's no way that i can transfer more than 870 a day however i really need this money and i start thinking and then a light bulb goes off in my head i ask him if i close my account do i get my money the manager says yes we would give you cash and if i close my account i can open a new one of course is there a waiting period after closing my account to open a new one no fantastic please close my account sure i'll need your bank book and we'll destroy it i hand them my bank book and they destroy it i sign some papers and close the account the bank manager closes my account and it gives me all of my money in an envelope is there anything else i can help you with today i smile and pull out my passport yes i'd like to open a new bank account my bank manager looks at me and it dawns on him what i just did he laughs shakes his head and goes sure not a problem i opened a new account deposited a few bucks and left with my deposit in my pocket that was our slash malicious compliance and if you like this content check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 383,887

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: x2t2Fp9-lFg

Length: 15min 12sec (912 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 02 2021